Episode Transcript
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Karen Kenney (00:00):
It's the Karen Kenney show.
Hey you guys. Welcome to the Karen Kenney
show, other than freezing my ass off right
now,
Unknown (00:12):
oh my god, you guys, why do I live
in a place that is so cold?
Karen Kenney (00:19):
Okay, and we're back. Welcome
to the Karen Getty show I need to give I
just need to give myself a moment. Oh, Lord
have mercy. And the weather actually has
something to do with what I want to talkabout today. So if you are in the New
England area, New Hampshire area, it has
been so freaking cold lately. I feel like
(00:39):
this is one of the coldest winters we'veexperienced in forever. It, I mean, it's
like 18 degrees right now. I'm like, what
Unknown (00:49):
is happening?
Karen Kenney (00:51):
Oh, my God. Okay. Anyways, so
I got to thinking about all the snow, all
the cold, all this external weather, and
how, literally, like, there's nothing I can
do about it. I can't stop the snow, I can'tstop the cold, I can't stop the seasons. I
can't stop, you know, the fire is the
earthquake, like all this stuff that
(01:12):
happens. However, however, we do have alittle bit of an advantage now, because
meteorologists like the weather people can
predict, like storm systems and stuff that
are coming in. And I started to think about,can you imagine what it must have been like
way back in the day, like I'm talking like
caveman time, when there would be like
(01:37):
thunder or lightning or just an earthquakeor just something crazy happening, and how
scary it must have been to not have any
previous experience with a thing, or to not
know when, like, like, can you imagine aneclipse, or like, something like that, it'd
be like, Oh my god. Well, now we've been
around long enough to gather enough
(01:59):
information and to get enough tools to beable to predict when there's going to be an
unsavory or, like an insane weather system
outside. Because here's the thing, when you
know what's coming, you can prepare. And sothis is why, when it's like, oh my, okay, so
like, there's a hurricane coming, and people
have now learned, oh, I can put up storm
(02:23):
windows. I can use sandbags, like, to stopthe flooding. I can do like, X, Y and Z to,
like, prepare for the storm. I can evacuate
my town, right? So not everybody obviously
can do these things. They may not have themeans, but man, is it helpful to know ahead
of time that something is coming right? Even
for us, like, we can go like, okay, we're
(02:47):
supposed to get, like, a propane delivery.The driveway is icy. We're getting snow. We
can ask the plow guy to San, why do I even
live in a place where I need, I need a plow
guy? Oh. I got okay, you can ask the plowguy to like, sand the driveway, like when
they're here. So we can prepare for
difficulties that are coming, or changes in
(03:13):
the atmosphere, whatever that are coming, sothat when, even though it's not going to
prevent the thing from happening, we are
better prepared for what it's bringing.
Okay? So when I started thinking about allthis, then I started to think, well, we also
have internal weather systems, don't we? We
have, like, the the fire of rage that, like,
(03:41):
happens when we get, like, triggered bysomething. We have the, you know, we
actually have something called sad seasonal
affective disorder, where we know, like,
okay, for a lot of people, when we start tohave that shift in, like, daylight and stuff
like that, when the days start to get, like,
more gray and cold or rainy or whatever, and
(04:03):
there's not as much sun happening, which thesun does so much for our mental state, for
our vitamin D, for our, you know, our
feelings and the chemicals that the body
produces, and all this stuff. So for a lotof people, I will suggest, often to my
clients and stuff like that. And I even have
one, I don't get sad, but I am, like, a sun
(04:23):
person, like, I like all the sunlight.There's a reason why, like, this office used
to not have it's actually a bedroom, but
it's my office used to have no skylights.
And one of the things I was like, I need toget skylights in here. So I got like, two
skylights on one side of the house. And then
what I'm taking a little detour, just so you
(04:46):
know, now, like, eat little, tiny detour,and then I have this thing where, like, I'll
lay on the floor like spread eagle and just
stare at the ceiling or stare out the
windows. And one day, while I was doingthis, I started talking to my book. So any
writers out there. You can probably relate
to this. I think that our creations, right,
the things that we make, or that we cocreate, or whatever, they have their own
energy, and they have their own desire, and
they have their own wants. And one day, I
(05:12):
was like, laying on the floor, and I wasthinking about my book, and I'm like, I
wonder what my book wants. And I'm pretty
sure my book said I want two more skylights.
I swear to God. I was like, we need morelight in here. And I was like, okay, so I
called our buddy, and I was like, Is there
any way this summer or whatever, you can
come in and sell two more skylights? Sohere's the thing, I need all the light.
Okay, and we're back. So here's the thing we
can certainly, like, prepare, also for the
(05:39):
internal storms that may or may not happen,and I say may or may not happen, because we
cannot predict what life is going to bring,
okay, but like for me, I was just like, I
know that I like a lot of light, so I havewhat's called like a happy light. So I turn
this sucker on in the morning, right?
Certainly, we can go outside, like Huberman
(06:02):
says, we can go outside get sunlight in oureyes first thing in the morning for about 10
minutes. It is so good for your circadian
rhythms. It's so good for your mood. It's so
good for balancing, like your bedtime andyour energy levels, right? There's, like, a
lot of things that we can do. A happy light
is a fantastic way to help yourself. A UV
light, right? Basically, if you get SeasonalAffective Disorders. So I'm like, Oh, this
is one way we can help ourselves again, if
you're a person like that, I don't even have
(06:31):
sads, and I use one because I just love theway that the bright light makes me feel
okay. So even if we cannot predict things,
right, we cannot predict sometimes when
somebody's going to die, there's going to bea death, there's going to be a disease,
there's going to be a diagnosis, there's
going to be a divorce, there's going to be a
disappointment, right? The thing is, is thatlife doesn't really give a shit about how we
feel about things like life is just going to
arrive at your door. And while we cannot
(07:00):
predict things like weathermen andmeteorologists can we've been around long
enough, we have been alive long enough to
know that some stuff is gonna go down in
this human experience. I think most of usright. Some of us are still I mean, I don't
think anybody who listens to the show is a
little kid unless they're trapped in the
(07:20):
back seat while you're driving somewhere andyou're playing it. But you know, most of us
who are listening to this show are adults,
and we've been around long enough we've been
on the planet long enough we've been infamilies, long enough we've been in
relationships long enough and we've had like
businesses or worked for somebody, long
enough to know that people be peopling andlife will be lifeing, and we can predict
that some shit has hit the fan before, like
we have been around long enough to
(07:48):
experience that things don't always go theway that we want them to or expect them to.
So we can also prepare for the internal
weather systems, meaning your feelings, your
emotions, your thoughts, your beliefs, yourreactions, all these things we can actually
prepare for them. And I was thinking about
this, like, even when, right now, right so
(08:12):
much feels like it's out of control in theworld, stuff that's going on with politics
and policies, what happened in the election,
like all this stuff, like all, like, so many
things that are going on, we feel like Ican't do anything about this. Well, like
I've heard somebody say the other day, well,
I voted, and that's all I can do. And it's
like, no, no, there's so much more that youcan actually do. And I've talked about this
in my last few episodes, right where I
talked about, like, you know how you can
(08:41):
help, or how could I help? And if you justhad a conversation with Marion Williamson
right, my friend, my mentor, my my spiritual
godmother, if you haven't listened to that
episode, it's a fantastic episode that cameout like last week. So there are things that
we can do, but one of the, one of the
powerful things, and I talk about this all
the time, with my one to one clients, withpeople in the nest, with my yoga students,
right? Anybody who literally hangs out with
me knows how I feel about having a DSP, a
(09:13):
daily spiritual practice, a DSP, right?Having some tools in your spiritual tool
kit, being able to prepare yourself before
the shit hits the fan is one of the most
incredible and powerful things that you cando for yourself. So things like yoga, things
like meditation, things like prayer, things
like contemplation, things like having some
(09:42):
neuroscience, practical neuroscience tools,which is what I share and teach with the
people that I work with, so that they can be
prepared when the storms hit. Right? We've
just gotten so many like snow storms here,and some part of me just. Feels like, Oh, my
God, I'm melding. I'm melding
Unknown (10:05):
like, that's how I feel every time
there's gonna be more snow. But
Karen Kenney (10:09):
look, there are times when
some shit is gonna go down in your family,
in your marriage, in your relationship with
your children, at work, with your business,
whatever, where you're also gonna feel like,okay, I just wish there was like a plow guy
that could come and save me, but nobody's
coming to save us. Nobody's coming to save
us. However, we can do things to help saveourselves. And again, having a DSP, having
some spiritual tools in your tool kits,
having some habits, right, that are
(10:42):
strengthening, that are life giving, thatare nurturing and nourishing and supportive,
having some tools that like practical again,
practical neuroscience tools, things like
energy techniques, right, whether that'stapping or bilateral stimulation or breath
work or Different ways of helping your
nervous system find some regulation. One of
(11:04):
the big things that we can also do is havinga community around us. And again, this is
one of the reasons why I talk about the nest
so often on the podcast, the nest supplies
all of those things. It's like, built incommunity, built in tools. It's like
community support. It's spiritual mentoring.
With me, it's like if you don't have
(11:30):
something like this in your life, if youdon't have a group of people who are also
doing the work talking about these same
kinds of things trying to, not so much,
quote, unquote, fix themselves, right, butit's so much like bettering themselves,
improving the quality of their thoughts,
having more tools so that they can navigate
(11:52):
life, right? These are the things that aregoing to help us weather the the personal
storms, right, and to also what I call
strengthen ourselves during a struggle. We
know there's going to be struggles, and Iwould rather them be struggles where we have
some support, and we have some some tools
that we can use for ourselves, then also
(12:16):
some, some community tools, some of thatsupport, so that the struggle doesn't turn
into full blown suffering.
And I think that, you know, we don't alwaysconnect the dots about how important having
spiritual community is, how helpful it can
be to have a spiritual mentor, how helpful
(12:38):
it can be to have your own daily, right,daily spiritual practice, just for example.
Let me give you an example. So meditation
helps us to train the mind. Meditation is
simply what I would consider mind training.It does a lot of things, right? Slows down
the mind. Slows down the thinking process.
Why is this valuable? Well, if you cannot
(13:05):
place your mind where you want to place it,when you want to place it, there is going to
be consequences, and there might ultimately
be some suffering. When you can start to
slow down your mind in your thinkingprocess. You can make better plans. You can
better prepare. You can make choices. Right?
Remember that famous quote, right in between
(13:30):
stimulus and response, there is a spacewell, if we don't train our mind to slow
down, then that space for a lot of people,
is so tiny that it doesn't even exist. And
they, they're not even aware that it exists,meaning that something happens. And they
there is, like, there is the situation or
the stimulus, and there's no gap, there is
(13:55):
no breath, there is no pause, right? It'slike you want to, you want to put, I always
say, like, put a comma in your commentary,
in that chatter in your mind, if there is no
pause, then we immediately go intohabituated response of the ego in this
world, which is fear response. It's more
like reaction. That's what I always say.
(14:18):
There's like I always say, We respond fromlove, but we react from fear. So in between
stimulus and reaction, we want to be able to
widen that gap so that when you start to
notice, hey, I'm starting to get anxious,I'm starting to get afraid, I'm starting I
feel myself about to say, do text, whatever,
this thing that I know is not, first of all,
(14:42):
going to fully represent who I am. It's afear reaction, not a love response. So how
can we plan for internal storms that might
come up inclement weather on the inside,
with our thinking and how we're respondingto life or reacting to life? Yeah, it's like
meditation gives us an opportunity to learn
how to train our mind, to Slow the fuck
(15:06):
down, so that we can make a choice fromlove, instead of reacting out of fear, so
that we can actually represent who we truly
are in any given situation, from like, which
is love. That's who we are, which is love.So we can do that instead of just being
tossed about on the waves. It's like, if you
ever had like an emotional tsunami, where
(15:33):
afterwards you're like, oh my god, I justcouldn't help myself. I couldn't control
myself, right? And this is something that
people who I I've known so many people of
these, especially when I was younger, whodid things and said things and then they
blamed it on the fact that they were drunk.
And I was like, okay, so I never want to be
(15:53):
I never want to be in a place where I cannottake responsibility for what I said, what I
thought, what I did. You know, I don't.
That's why, one of the things, like one of
the small, teeny, small reasons, that Istopped drinking a wicked long time ago, I'm
not in you know, I always say, you know,
people will say to me, are you sober? And I
say, I'm just a non drinker. I just decidedI don't want to drink anymore. And one of
the things is, is I never wanted to be at
the mercy of some substance beyond myself. I
(16:23):
didn't want to be putting things in my bodythat were not going to help me show up as my
best self. I'm like, I'm over here trying to
awaken to my true nature, right, which is
love, to remember that I'm one of God'skids, to try and make good choices. Why do I
want to keep putting things in my body that
are putting me to sleep, that are numbing
(16:43):
me, that are that inebriating my senses,right? Like, I want to be present, you know,
and be able to say, like, yeah, like, I did
that, I blew that, I apologize, I own that.
I don't want to be able to blame stuff. Andwhen we get angry, when we get upset, there
is a biochemical wash, an emotional wash of
hormones that, like, flood through our body,
(17:06):
right? And I don't ever want to be like,yeah, like, I just reacted. And I think I've
talked about this. I think that, you know,
this is what happened with my mother. I
think that the guy that murdered her andkilled her, I mean, he he snapped, he lost
touch. He lost touch. He had he left. He
vacated. Elvis left the building. He left
his right mind, and so being able to use atool like meditation to slow down the
thinking process. You know, yoga. In yoga,
you know the second sutra, it says, yoga,
(17:39):
chitta, Vritti no rodaha, you means yoga isthe stilling of the thought fluctuations.
I'm making my hands like all jittery, right?
The thought fluctuations of the mind yoga is
we always think yoga is postures, it'sasanas, it's doing hot, sweaty, whatever,
right yoga. What it really is is the
stilling of the mind. And it's in that
(18:08):
still, quiet place Be still and know that Iam, Be still and know it is in that
stillness and the postures simply prepare us
for the more still, deeper spiritual
practice, that we can remember who we reallyare. We can remember our union, right, with
God, with source, with the universe, with
the Creator, whatever you want to call it,
(18:30):
with love, right? That's the whole purpose.So having these tools, I've been a yoga
teacher for so long. First and foremost, I
went first because I needed it me and my
body needed it. And then I realized, like,Oh, this is more than that, like me and my
brain. And then it was like, Oh, my spirit
too, right? Like, so for me, yoga helps the
(18:51):
emotional, the spiritual, the mental and thephysical, right? It's a really powerful
practice, and we can use it as part of
right, an extension of our DSP, our daily
spiritual practice having a mantra. And I'mjust giving you examples of how having, you
know, this kind of, these kind of supportive
tools, and then we'll talk about community
(19:12):
in a moment, is so powerful. Because what amantra does is it keeps you from reacting,
and it keeps you from acting from that place
of fear. You know, one of the most powerful
things you can do when you get upset,emotionally triggered, angry, whatever is to
take a brisk walk. I learned this from my
meditation teacher, ashwaran. He's like, you
(19:36):
know, when you feel yourself like gettinggetting agitated, getting triggered, getting
upset, getting anxious, getting afraid, take
a brisk walk and repeat your mantra,
sometimes also called a mantra with an M atthe end. And a mantra is not a positive
affirmation. I have to say this because a
lot of people think that oh, if I just say
(19:59):
um. You know that that whole, what's thatwhole joke? That was it Edward Smalley, the
fictional character on SNL, whatever. And he
would look in the mirror and he'd say, you
know, I'm beautiful and everybody loves me,or whatever, right? Those are more like
positive affirmations, but a mantra is like
a holy word or a holy name or a phrase,
something that comes from something that'sbeen around for a wicked long time, right?
Some people use like, literally like a
sound, like a Sanskrit, sound like om, or
(20:30):
whatever. But some people use like prayers,like a little section of a prayer, or
Buddhist will sometime use like om, Mani,
Padme home. A Catholic kid might use hail
Mary full of grace, or, you know, Jesus havemercy on us, or whatever you might say,
right? Some people will use Hari Rama, Hari
Rama, or just Rama, Rama, Rama, which is
(20:50):
just another, another name or word for God,right? It means like joy, right? So there's
mantras are like vibratory sounds that have
proven, have proven themselves over over a
millennia, or whatever, decades, 1000s ofyears, or whatever it is to be helpful to
people, which is really different than just
a positive affirmation or word that you
(21:11):
would say. So when you choose a mantra,maybe I'll do a whole episode on that. But
when you choose a mantra, it's something
that you would use. So let's say you have a
longer mantra, like Hari, Rama, Hari, Rama,Rama, Rama, Hari, Hari, Hari Krishna, Hari
Krishna, Krishna, Krishna, Hari, Hari,
right? Maybe you have something longer,
right? So it's like basically singing thenames of the words of God. Well, you start
to get upset. You can just take a little
piece of that and just repeat to yourself,
(21:34):
Ram ra like as you're briskly walking,because it starts to bring your mind right
back to the moment. It keeps you from acting
and reacting. It gives your mind something
else to focus on, so that chemical wash ofemotions can move through you. It's only
like 90 seconds, right? But if you've ever
gotten into an argument with somebody and
(21:58):
said something, you can't take back. It'sbecause you got hijacked, like you got
triggered, your trauma center, the amygdala,
whatever you want to say. And when that goes
online, what kind of goes offline is theprefrontal cortex, where you make where you
do some of your best thinking, where you
make good choices, right? And so a lot of
times, when people will say, you know, like,what were you thinking? Or we'll say to
ourselves afterwards, what was I thinking?
The answer is, you weren't. You weren't
(22:25):
thinking because you were not in your rightmind. So these tools are ways that we can
prepare for the unexpected, for the weather,
storms internally, of life that we cannot
always predict. But again, we've been aroundlong enough to see some stuff go down, and
we know that it would behoove us at this
eight don't we? Don't we, guys, don't we,
(22:51):
don't we? At this point know that it wouldbenefit us to have some tools at our
toolkit, some spiritual tools, some tools
that help us to regulate our nervous
systems. And then, if we just so, think ofit like this. I know so many triathletes, so
many incredible athletes and swimmers and
whatever, right body builders, lifters,
(23:14):
whatever. So, just like you might train fora race or train for an event or train for a
marathon or whatever. Just like we have to
build and prepare and train our physical
muscles, it is also important to train ourspiritual muscles, what Marion Williamson
calls, sometimes our attitudinal muscles,
and she might have gotten that from A Course
(23:40):
in Miracles. But this is what, having a DSP,this is what. And of course, in miracles,
the daily workbook lessons, this is
preparation. It is preparing you, and you
can prepare. Think of it like this as well,right? So I'm giving you all these examples
so that maybe something will like, oh yeah.
Like, resonate with you, and you'll go like,
(24:02):
Oh yeah. Okay, so just like we are told toput aside three to six months worth of like,
bills right in an emergency savings account
so you slowly start to prepare and build
that you may never need it, but, man, ifyour car needs a new transmission, if you
need new ties unexpectedly, if all of a
sudden something happens and you get a
(24:29):
medical bill, or you need a new washer anddryer, like whatever, it is so helpful to
know that you have prepared and set aside
that money so that if and when the time
comes right, you don't have to scramble, youdon't have to stress yourselves out. You
don't have to have the struggle turn into
suffering, because you've prepared. And so
(24:55):
much of the work that I do with people is Ioften say it's like. It's like unlearning
shit, learning some new shit, and then
relearning some stuff, right? Like helpful
things, tools and stuff like that, right?And not everybody right. Might have the
means or whatever to work with me one on
one. It's also why I do this podcast, right?
(25:16):
Because this is a free resource, and thenest, you know, is a monthly thing, 50 bucks
a month. Come join us. You get two group
coaching calls, right? Two group mentoring
calls. We gather together online andcommunity. We also have a community group
where people are incredibly supportive. You
know, we have people who are going through
some stuff right now, parents who havepassed away. You know, things are going on
with their parents as they're aging, like
things are coming up in their relationship,
(25:43):
things are coming up in their business, likejust life is lifeing and people are
peopling. And when you have a supportive
community right around you, you know there
is nothing like knowing, and they call it asafe place. I can't say like this is going
to be a safe place for you, because you and
your nervous system, you know, decide that.
(26:06):
But what I can do is do my best to try tocreate an environment where safety can be
experienced and we don't have time to screw
around anymore. You guys, you know this.
There's some stuff going on in the world,and we need to be prepared. And if we do not
have spiritual strength, if we do not have
spiritual muscles, if we do not start to
(26:32):
strengthen our love muscles, right? Becauseone of the things I'll never forget Mary Ann
Williamson saying this to me one time, and
you know, she has said it also, you know, in
public as well. But people who hate hatewith conviction. They are very determined,
and they are very like they've got a plan.
People who love, people who are coming from
(26:55):
that point of view, from that place, we needto love with the same amount of conviction,
we need to strengthen ourselves, and we need
to prepare so that these struggles that
we're going through do not have to turn intoand there's already so many people
suffering. And if we don't prepare
ourselves, how are we going to be able to
(27:17):
show up and help if we do not have anyresources ourselves, emotional resources,
spiritual resources, physical resources,
financial resources. So the time? What do
they say? When's the best time to plant atree, like 100 years ago? When's the second
best time now? So like, start today. Start
today. Maybe stop putting a little money in
(27:42):
your savings account as much as you can,even if it's like $1 I'm not even kidding,
just start to build that habit and that
momentum. Maybe you want to start getting
your body physically right, prepared forwhatever life is going to bring you. Some of
us are aging Right. Like, I'm 56 and I'm
like, I always say, I'm not going down
without a fight, right? We want to staystrong. Two best things we can do, keep
muscle on your body, stay strong and keep
your cardiovascular health up. I always say
(28:12):
I want to be able to run and move if I needto, and I want to be able to pick things up
if I have to. Right. So strength and
cardiovascular health are so important. So
we are just, just accept that we need toprepare. And this isn't like coming from a
fear place. I'm just coming from a reality
place. I don't think there's anything
(28:34):
spiritually enlightening, but pretendingthat shit is not going down right. And this
isn't even like, about, like, just big, bad
things. I'm just talking about in your day
to day life. Stress creeps in. Moments creepin. Things are going to happen. Somebody's
going to say something at work. Somebody's
going to make a racist comment. If we do not
(28:55):
have the preparation to stand in our valuesand to stand in knowing what matters to us.
We might let a comment like that just slip
by,
and if we're not willing and able, wehaven't done our work to bolster ourselves
up in what matters to find like the
assignment is alignment. You guys, you know
(29:16):
I'm doing my little my little hands, where Ibring them together, right? The assignment
is alignment, and we have to start aligning
with ourselves. And here's the thing, we
have the advantage, because stuff is alreadygoing down. We don't need a meteorologist to
tell us that life is going to be lifeing and
people are going to be people in so this is
(29:37):
a just as like a little love letter from myhat to yours. Just a little nudge, a little
nudge to say, hey, let's start now. So I
invite you always, always on this show, I
invite you come join the nest if you'resomebody who wants more personalized or one
to one work. Come work with me in the quest
one to one spiritual mentoring. Or keep
(29:59):
listening. To the podcast, share it withsome people. Help me to spread more love in
the world, right? Help me to help people
help themselves. But also being in a
community of like minded people is gamechanging. So you know how they say the
weather outside is frightful. The weather
outside right now is a little frightful on
(30:22):
multiple levels, and we want to be able tohave an internal system right like where the
weather is a little more pleasant and balmy,
and we know if it goes to shit, if some shit
goes down, we are prepared. You can prepare.Okay, that's what I got to say this week
right now. I always say I reserve the right
to change my mind. This is what I think
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right now. This is what I'm feeling. This iswhat's on my heart, in my mind. I always
reserve the right, because I said like I
could be smarter in bed at 20 minutes from
now. Never mind. 20 days, 20 weeks, 20months, 20 years, right? So this is, this is
just what's coming up in my heart to share
with you. I hope you're having a fantastic
day, wherever you are, wherever you'relistening from, and, as I always say,
wherever you go. May you leave. Oh, I should
also say you want to find out about the
(31:16):
nest, the quest and all that, just go to mywebsite. Karen, K a r, e n, k, e n, n, e,
y.com, Karen kenney.com, is where you can
find all the shenanigans. Okay, wherever you
go. May you leave the people, the animals,the places, the environment and yourself
better than how you first found it, them.
You, wherever you go, may you and your
(31:42):
energy, your presence and your love and yourpreparation be a blessing. Bye. Hey. Thanks
so much for listening to the show. I really
love spending some time together. Now, if
you dig the show or know someone that couldbenefit from this episode, please share it
with them and help me to spread the good
word and the love. And if you want to be in
(32:05):
the know about all of my upcomingshenanigans, head on over to Karen
kenney.com/sign up and join my list. It'll
be wicked fun to stay in touch. Bye. You.