Goal Oriented Vs. Girl Oriented - SFTS68

=== SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT ===  The pickup artist movement taught men a lot about attracting women and relating to them, but not all of it was positive. One of the most unfortunate PUA trends was encouraging men to be as goal-oriented in their dating lives as they're used to being in their professional lives. I mean, it all sounds good and makes sense from a masculinity perspective. But in the real world with real women, there's a far better strategy. It's not only more authentic, it WORKS. And surprise, surprise...it's not all that different from how we'd love women to treat us. More at https://mountaintoppodcast.com

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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
You're listening to Snippets from the Summit with your host Scot McKay.
How's it going gentlemen this is your main man Scot McKay coming at you again with
another Snippet from the Summit as part of the Mountaintop podcast from X & Y
Communications. Today I'm going to talk about being girl-oriented rather than

(00:24):
goal-oriented. Now if you are a little bit cynical about men relating to women
you're probably thinking I'm going to somehow turn into a simp here and start
talking about how you should be fawning at women and doing anything for them and
just trying to make them happy or appease them or supplicate to them in
any way shape or form you can in hopes of maybe getting their attention or

(00:46):
getting affection from them. Well that's not exactly what I'm going to talk
about. Matter of fact that's not what I'm going to talk about at all. In fact
the focus is going to be more on that other term being goal-oriented. At least
kind of at the beginning here so we can set the premise for the big picture. Hey
as a man you want to be goal-oriented. It's masculine to have a plan, to have

(01:09):
ambition, and to really go after something in life and women are highly attracted
to that because you know what they're gonna follow a man's lead and they
wouldn't hitch their wagon to a guy who's going somewhere. And that's why the
idea of being goal-oriented is generally considered to be a good thing if you're
a guy. But when it comes to women, women are human beings just like us. They're

(01:30):
not some sort of goal to be achieved because you know that idea starts kind
of rhyming with you know sexual conquest and you know negative ideas
like that. But that said perfectly good men can find themselves feeling a little
bit if not a lot bit goal-oriented when it comes to getting women. For example
you hear about guys kind of talking about women as if they're closing a sales deal

(01:52):
with phrases like seal the deal referring to having sex with a woman.
Another example would be the frequent use of the term escalate no thanks to
the pickup artist movement to refer to kind of moving a woman up some sort of
sexual ladder for their own personal gain of course. Well you know what as I
like to do let's put the shoe on the other foot for a brief moment here. What

(02:13):
if a woman is looking at you as sort of a conquest? What if she has goals related
to you? Well stereotypically men kind of label women gold diggers when they're
just trying to use a guy for money or to get ahead or to get a green card or
whatever they're doing. It's not seen as a particularly ethical mission for a

(02:34):
woman to be on relative to finding a guy. Matter of fact I've even heard the
term gold digger g-o-a-l to refer to a woman who's you know got an agenda with
a certain man instead of really loving him or appreciating him for who he is.
And you know what gold digging g-o-l-d is really just a subset of that isn't it
like we've already talked about here. So what would happen if we as men took the

(03:00):
lead and kind of bucking that trend and looking at women as human beings who we
want to connect with relate to and appreciate? Well would that make us a
simp? No it'd make us a human being with a soul who's actually reaching out to
another human being to see if we can relate to each other positively and we
like spending time together. And you know what if we show up as a man and

(03:22):
that masculine feminine polarity starts working its magic well then you're
going to be well on your way to having a woman who you enjoy spending time with
and you're hot for and vice versa and that's what it's all about. But see when
we're goal oriented with a woman and we're just going after say that sexual
conquest or maybe we're thinking she can be our sugar mama and buy us a few things

(03:45):
and take care of us for a while or maybe it would be good to have a
girlfriend to come clean my apartment and cook for me and stuff like that all
of that is being goal oriented. So when I talk about being girl oriented yeah
it's a play on words and it's kind of gimmicky it makes a good title for a
podcast episode but the magic to being girl oriented is you're about connecting

(04:09):
with the woman and seeing where that actual relationship with another human
being albeit a hot female one is going rather than simply falling back into
that transactional trap and saying to yourself well what can I get out of this
relationship. The opposite of that in terms of girl orientation instead of
goal orientation would be to ask yourself how can I get to know this

(04:32):
woman? How can we be in partnership? How can we mutually enjoy our lives together?
Yeah even if you're just friends with benefits that matters even if it's
short-term because I'll tell you what no man likes to be treated like an ATM
machine and no woman likes to be treated like a sex object. Once we realize this

(04:52):
cuts both ways and it's our job as men to lead as human beings connecting with
women guess what gentlemen your success with women overall which is what we're
all here to achieve will skyrocket and that's a promise. Want to talk about this
or anything else? Scott at mountaintoppodcast.com. Be good out there.

(05:15):
As always visit mountaintoppodcast.com for more.