Just Listen To Yourself...Literally - SFTS69

=== SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT ===  It's SFTS 69, dude. Back when you were a kid, when you mouthed off in class your teacher probably told you that 'you have two ears and one mouth for a reason'. Well, here it is: I flatly believe physiological design is irrelevant. I'm here to convince you that TALKING is at least as valid a way to learn as listening is. And yes, I can prove it. Want to make better decisions socially and professionally? Want to make sure you don't blow your chances with the woman you're attracted to? Open your mouth and TALK about it...whether that's with yourself or with someone you trust. This goes WAY beyond mirror affirmations. It straight-up WORKS, and I'll explain why. More at https://mountaintoppodcast.com

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The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. I discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, I'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review. As we say here in Texas, I appreciate you!

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
You're listening to Snippets from the Summit with
your host, Scott McKay.
Aw, how's it going, gentlemen?
This is your main man, Scott McKay, coming
at you again with another Snippet from the
Summit as part of the Mountaintop podcast from
X&Y Communications.
Now listen, guys, today I'm going to talk
about something that would probably cause your first

(00:23):
grade teacher to whack me on the wrist
with a ruler, but I don't care because
I think I'm right and I think I
can explain myself.
You remember back in first grade your teacher
told you you have two ears and one
mouth for a reason and you're supposed to
listen more than you talk because that's how
you learn?
Well, you know what?
Since we're grown-ass men, I've got a
confession to make that comes from years of

(00:45):
practice, not only in my own personal life
but also in my coaching practice, quite literally.
I find that we as men learn by
talking things out.
In other words, you can spend your time
listening to other people or even reading the
words.
Anything that's informational input, whether it's told to

(01:06):
you, shown to you, or you read out
of a book, would be learning.
And I think everybody acknowledges that.
That's pretty basic stuff.
But it's that part about talking to learn
that, you know, it may not be something
that is in line with how everybody learns.
I mean, everybody's different.

(01:26):
Some people are visual learners.
And I've noticed that especially the people who
claim to be visual learners are very vociferous
about it.
They tend to tell you that they learn
by watching or by seeing, especially when people
are trying to explain to them with words
or get them to read something.
But it's this idea of learning by talking

(01:47):
that I think is extremely underrated, if not
flat out ignored by a lot of guys.
And I'll tell you, there's already evidence of
the truth of what I'm talking about, even
in pop culture.
You remember the old TV show, Who Wants
to Be a Millionaire?
And Regis Philbin would always take his time
with the contestants, especially when they got into
the real high stakes questions like, you know,

(02:08):
the $32,000 or $64,000 ones and
up.
And Regis would often say to the contestant,
you want to talk this through, you want
to talk this out, not only because, you
know, dead air makes for terrible television, right?
But because there's actual value in listening to
yourself make points.

(02:30):
Now, that whole idea of listening to yourself
is another frequently used phrase, especially when people
are in conflict of some sort with each
other.
One person will say to the other, I
mean, just listen to yourself.
You don't make any sense or you're being
angry or you're being unreasonable.
And indeed, sometimes when the person listens to
the words coming out of their mouth, they

(02:51):
realize they're indicting themselves with their words.
Because it sounds one way in our brains
and it sounds another way when, like Regis
would have said, we talk it out.
Now, as a professional coach, a lot of
times people think what I do is teach
people and they sit down, shut up and
listen to me tell them what they're going

(03:12):
to do or what they should think, et
cetera, et cetera.
Well, nothing could be further from the truth,
gentlemen.
A lot of times the value of having
a coach like me comes from being able
to talk things out in a safe place
where you're not going to be judged.
Now, do I issue tough love?
Do I challenge people?
Yeah.
Otherwise, you could just replace me with chat
GPT.
And I know guys are trying to do
that.

(03:32):
But it's that process of saying what you
mean out loud that really allows you to
listen to yourself.
There's tremendous value in this.
Anytime you've got a decision to make, I
know it sounds literally crazy and there's a
stigma tied to talking to oneself.
But if you say out loud what your

(03:53):
thoughts are, even if you record them into
a microphone and play them back as if
it was a podcast to yourself, you're going
to learn about your thoughts, about your feelings,
about the decisions you've made in the past
or even any pending decisions that you have
to make in the near future.
You can even talk about your far flung
future, what your plans are, what your ambitions

(04:15):
are, and flat out see if you make
sense to yourself as you talk things out.
A lot of people journal.
Writing things out can be very helpful to
you to gain clarity on what you've done
and what you're going to do.
But I really believe the power is in
talking, hearing your own voice as if you're
really, truly speaking something into reality.

(04:38):
And when you have someone you can confide
in as you talk these things out, so
much the better because you'll get feedback on
it.
Now, when it comes to relating to women,
I think we as guys already realize by
now, especially if you've been listening to these
podcasts, reading my newsletters and getting a few
of my programs here and there, that men
are men, women are women.

(04:58):
And even though we're all human here, women
process information through the lens of femininity as
we process information through the lens of masculinity.
So, you know, sometimes there may be a
disconnect.
You can talk through what you plan to
say to a woman, even a woman you're
planning on approaching and asking out, and kind

(05:19):
of get a feel for it through hearing
the words resonate, hearing them echo off of
your walls.
If this is going to really make a
woman feel safe and comfortable, if what you're
saying is really going to attract her or
whether you need to fine tune it a
little, just speaking those words really will help
you get a much better handle on that
and gain some clarity.
So, I recommend, even though you have two

(05:42):
ears and one mouth, that you actually do
talk things out with yourself or with a
coach or with a best friend.
And certainly, for you guys who are already
married, you and your wife should be best
friends and be able to talk things out
like this before you move forward through life
as a team, right?
But hey, I practically guarantee that once you
hear yourself talk, you'll gain clarity.

(06:03):
And sometimes if you explain things to yourself
and really talk through your reasoning, you'll gain
insights, you'll gain ideas you can use, you'll
gain actionable steps because your train of thought
came out of your mouth and now you've
heard yourself speak these things.
And why is that?
Well, here comes the silver bullet, because it's
harder to lose your train of thought and

(06:24):
let your brain wander when you're focused on
speaking your thoughts out.
That is probably the biggest reason why talking
something out causes you to learn more about
your situation and about yourself than you may
have thought.
Even if it's really better defined as realization
than actual learning, your brain processes information differently

(06:47):
once it's heard you speak these words.
And to me, that really does fall under
the definition of learning.
Give it a try, gentlemen, and let me
know how it works out.
And indeed, if you want to talk about
that or anything else, scott at mountaintoppodcast.com.
Be good out there.
As always, visit mountaintoppodcast.com for more.