January 30, 2025 • 26 mins
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How does your mindset affect your sales? That’s what we’ll unpack in today’s episode with Sophie French. She’s a mindset coach and healer who works with women in business to overcome self-doubt and reach their full potential.
In this episode, we dive into how subconscious beliefs can hold you back, the fears of judgment and rejection that many business owners face, and practical strategies for building resilience and confidence.
Sophie also shares her journey from copywriting to coaching and how entrepreneurs can cultivate a healthier mindset to thrive.
[00:00] The impact of a sales mindset
[02:51] How mindset drives success in business
[05:05] What stops most people from promoting themselves
[06:39] How unconscious beliefs shape business decisions
[13:56] Becoming aware of your deep-rooted beliefs
[18:53] The entrepreneurial journey
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What impact does your sales mindset haveon your actual sales in your business?
(00:05):
That's the question that we're goingto be exploring in today's episode.
Hi everybody, I'm Catherine.
I am your host today.
I'm a small business and retail expert,as well as the founder of the Resilient
Retail Club, which is my membership groupand mastermind for product businesses.
You can find out moreat resilientretailclub.
com.
Today I am joined by mindset coach,Sophie French, who's going to be exploring
(00:28):
all things, small business and mindset.
Welcome to the Resilient RetailGame Plan, a podcast for anyone
wanting to start, grow or scalea profitable creative product
business with me, Catherine Eardley.
The Resilient Retail Game Plan isa podcast dedicated to one thing,
(00:50):
breaking down the concepts and toolsthat I've gathered from 20 years in
the retail industry and showing youhow you can use them in your business.
This is the real nuts and bolts ofrunning a successful product business,
broken down in an easy, accessible way.
This is not a podcast about learninghow to make your business look good.
It's the tools and techniques that willmake you and your business feel good.
(01:14):
Confidently plan, launch, and manageyour products, and feel in control of
your sales numbers and cash flow to helpyou build a resilient retail business.
Sophie, thank you so much forjoining me on the podcast today.
Do you want to kick us off withintroducing yourself and your business?
(01:38):
Hello.
Yes, I would absolutely love to.
I am Sophie French and I am atransformational coach, a subconscious
mind healer and emotional freedomtechnique practitioner and essentially
an all-around, really, shifter ofchange for women who are in business.
And who really are struggling withself doubt, doubting themselves,
(02:02):
holding themselves back.
And I really help them to break freefrom the limits that are going on
in their mind, the stories they'retelling themselves, to live their most
fulfilled, purposeful, delicious life.
Love it.
And I've worked with you,oh gosh, it was years ago.
I think it was pre pandemic.
So we've known each otherfor a really long time.
(02:22):
I don't know if you met Elizabeththrough your workshop, or if Elizabeth
Stiles came to your workshop.
But I always loved the title of it,which was Crush the Can't In Your Head.
Definitely, that's alwaysbeen an interesting one.
That was like, yeah, key.
Crush the Can't In Your Head.
Not to be confused with any other word.
Absolutely, that could work too.
(02:43):
So what kind of got youstarted on this journey?
What got you interested in the impactof mindset on women in business?
So I was really noticing years andyears ago, maybe eight years ago,
I was working as a copywriter.
And I was working with lots of differentcompanies and lots of different people
(03:04):
in business to help them with theirmarketing, to help them with showing up,
to help them with sharing their gifts.
And a key thing that I was noticing waslike, it's all very well having great
copy, having a great marketing plan,having a great online presence, but if
you're not actually feeling confidentin showing up, in being seen, in sharing
(03:26):
your message without that mindset and thatconfidence, this is kind of redundant.
Because there's a gap here andthere's only so far you can go.
So it was like, it's great thatpeople wanted to invest in their
copywriting and their marketing.
But I could see that there was a gapthat actually I was like, there's
something else going on here.
(03:47):
And it was a very personal journeyfor me, understanding how powerful
our mindset is in business.
But also seeing the effects that Icould then support clients within
that respect really got me excited.
And it was feeling much more excitingbecause I was able to do both.
(04:09):
Right.
So you were creating great copy and youknow, you are a fabulous copywriter.
I feel like always go check outSophie's website if you want great
example of really persuasive copy.
I think you always do,a great way with words.
So you were delivering this shiny,fabulous copy to people or marketing
strategy and saying here go do this.
(04:31):
And then with some of them justnot doing anything with it or?
Yeah, exactly.
It was like them sitting thereor yeah, even their book or
their workshop or their ideas.
You know, it was that feeling of like,yeah, you can do so much for someone.
But actually there's this whole otherpiece about, yeah, how do you have the
confidence to then share that with theworld and actually tell people about it.
(04:53):
Because I'm like, you've got this greatcopy, you've got this great product.
Let's get it out there.
And that was the piece thatpeople were resistant on.
And I'm like, okay, well, yeah,there's something to work with here.
Right, absolutely.
So what exactly is it then youthink is holding people back?
Or can you give some examples ofhow that might show itself up?
(05:15):
So it might be that they unwillingto share their idea or their product
or their business with the world.
What is the actual fear?
What are people scared of?
Yes.
What I've seen to be one of themost common being fear of judgment
from other people is huge.
Yeah, there's fear of judgment, fearof rejection, fear of what will people
(05:36):
say aligned with fear of judgment.
And therefore, just not wantingto face that feeling, not
wanting to be with that fear.
And that comes from really early on.
It's very naturally conditionedwithin us to be mindful of what
other people might think because wemight be rejected or not accepted.
(05:57):
So it's very deep rooted.
And this is really what I was seeing, thestories or questions, who am I to do this?
Who am I to share this?
Why would anyone buy from me?
I'm being silly with my little business.
Who do I think I am?
All of these stories were actually aremost commonly what is getting in the
(06:18):
way of people showing up and sharingthe amazing things that they have.
And where do you, so you mentioned thatthese are kind of deeply held beliefs.
How aware do you think weare of where they come from?
Or is this something that youreally have to kind of dig for?
Oh, I love this question.
I'm like, I love we're going to the juice.
Mm hmm.
Mm hmm.
(06:39):
Yeah, so we all have them atlike a evolutionary level.
If we think about like very basicevolution as cavemen and women
going out into the world, doingsomething away from the tribe
would have literally got us killed.
So on an evolutionary level,we've got it in us to want to
(06:59):
stay under the radar somewhat.
To want to stay safe.
It's literally wired into ourbodies of like, "it would be
dangerous for me to raise my headabove the parapet," for example.
So that's in there in ourbiology, in our being.
Doesn't mean that we can't changeit, but that's like at the root level
(07:21):
and then as our conditioning from ourparents, from our schooling, from our
society that also says don't step outof line, don't get too big for your
boots, don't do something different.
And so we hold all of thatas well on top of things.
And that all gets piled up intoour unconscious mind, which is
(07:43):
running 95 percent of our behavior.
So this is really important toknow when we're going to like set
a goal or we say, this is whatI want my business to look like.
This is how much money Iwant to make this year.
Often, we don't know that underneath thereare some beliefs or stories unconsciously
(08:03):
that are saying, that could mean death.
That is dangerous.
Mm hmm.
What I see is that so often withoutthat knowledge, people can turn that
in on themselves by saying, "huh, Imust not be very good at business.
I must not be cut out for this."
Mm hmm.
They make it a "them" problem.
(08:25):
They make themselves wrong when what'sreally going on is no, it's okay.
There's just some unconscious programming.
That isn't currently aligningwith what you say you want.
So we've just got to get intowhat that is and shift it.
Mhmm.
Everything can line up and you canactually start seeing the results.
(08:47):
So you talked about how as we'regrowing up, you know, parents or maybe
teachers or maybe other peers, friends.
Maybe they've kind of given you thatimpression that you need to sort
of toe the line or not stand out.
Do you think that it is thatwe're almost scanning for danger?
So if we see examples of other peoplewho are standing out that got, you
(09:10):
know, like that tall poppy syndrome.
You know, where the idea that if yougrow too tall and you'll get cut down.
Is it always somebody specificallysaying to you, I'll just stop showing
off or who do you think you are?
Or is it sometimes that we'realmost seeing things around us
and interpreting, oh, this personwas really unpopular because they
were showing off all the time.
(09:31):
Or I'm just curious as to if it'svery consistent when you dig in with
people as to where it's come from.
Or could it be all kind ofnumber of different things?
Yeah, great question.
So it is definitely anumber of different things.
It really depends person to person onwhat was the significant imprint or impact
(09:52):
of that certain thing at any one time.
So it could definitely be like aparental relationship is the foundation.
Like our parents are ourworld when we're growing up.
So whatever we learn initiallyabout parents is often how we
then see the world in later life.
(10:13):
That's like the foundational root.
And we can also see we'relooking to our parents to show
us what's safe, what's not.
So if we see our parents get into debtor something or feel deeply ashamed
about it, as an example, then we'regoing to think, oh, I won't do that.
Or if we see someone shining ora sibling shining and we're not
(10:38):
allowed to do that, then all ofthis is happening unconsciously.
It's a real mixture and definitelyseeing other people be what we would now
probably called canceled or cut down.
We see that so often, particularlyas women actually, and it is a
real thing that we get to see.
(10:58):
If a woman shines too bright or getstoo big, how often do we see that
in the public eye that they thenget vilified and they then get told
that they're not allowed to do that.
And that public "look at that."
so that's also that.
Mm.
So then we can understand alittle bit more when we come
(11:21):
to show up in our business.
So share a video on Instagram,for example, and feel like
we're actually going to die.
It's not because we can'tdo it or not good enough.
This is all in there andit's been playing out.
It plays out in the worldaround us all the time.
We are scanning for danger.
We're scanning for what'ssafe, what am I allowed to do,
what's going to keep me safe.
(11:43):
Mm hmm.
Anything that's not that, we'regoing to be like, I don't think so,
unless we've got some extra supportunconsciously or in our systems that
says, I know it's safe, you're okay.
And you've got yourself,even if it's not, is also.
Yes.
Yeah, no, totally.
And I think for me, and that's whyI'm a big believer that it really,
(12:06):
really helps to see something.
What's the phrase?
If you can't see it, you can'tbe it or something like that.
And so for example, I've got my onlinesummit Retail Raw coming up and the
purpose behind it when I started it lastyear was because I wanted to show these
people who had grown their businesses fromoften from their kitchen table all the way
(12:27):
to sort of multi million pound businesses.
Because I think I'm curious to hearwhat you think, but I would imagine
that one of the things that helpsyou feel safe is if you see people
who have done what you want to do.
And have kind of walked that full pathor even if you don't want your business
to be, even if your goal is not to builda multi million pound business, to see
(12:48):
people building and thriving and in havingthese businesses that they've created from
their own creativity, I think that that'ssurely got to be helpful for anyone who's
feeling like, "Oh, maybe this isn't safe."
Yes.
Oh, definitely.
It's so important andpowerful to see examples and
evidence of that are doing it.
(13:12):
People that are moving like that togive us evidence for what we can see and
believe, because we're always lookingfor evidence of what we believe to be
true as an unconscious way of being.
If all we've ever seen is not that, notwhat we're coming to, want to do, then
it's really hard to break out of that.
So looking for evidence that supportswhere we want to go, that supports
(13:37):
what we want to believe is huge.
And like getting around those peopleso that it becomes then normal.
It's like, "Oh yeah, this is real andthis is normal and I can do this."
there is a world with whichthis exists and is possible.
Yeah, totally.
I've got a question foryou about the unconscious.
(13:58):
Because obviously as the wordsuggests, it is unconscious.
How do you know if it's somethingthat's holding you back?
You've given some really great concreteexamples of how our mindset can impact us.
So for example, we don't feelready to put out our marketing,
even though it's brilliant.
You know, we find we struggle with showingup and visibility because you've got that
feeling of it just feels really unsafe.
(14:20):
It is there a way of telling?
Or can you tell when you talk to clients?
If they're talking about something, canyou sort of spot when it's an unconscious
belief holding them back or is it becauseit's unconscious, harder to pinpoint?
So yes, for me, as you're talking aboutit, I'm like, yes, it's a beady eyed
skill that I've developed over the years.
(14:42):
I can pretty quickly see whatis going on under the surface.
So a lot of people, when they'respeaking something like our words are
only 8 percent of what, what is actuallygoing on for us, the words we say.
Everything else is unconscious.
So it's our body language, our tone ofvoice takes up the majority of that.
(15:07):
Yeah, I can sense and spotwhat's really going on here,
what's really the piece here.
So, you know, all of us are operating onthe level of what we think is is right and
true, and what we're consciously aware of.
And so, then it's just takinga little, going a layer deeper,
(15:28):
what is this about really?
And that is essentially whatunconscious exploration is, knowing
that whatever's coming up for us onthe surface, a problem fear belief.
Is to be able to ask,what is this about really?
Hmm.
It reminds me of like, in the filmThe Breakup, where Jennifer Aniston
(15:48):
says like, it's not about the lemons!
And it reminds me of this, oflike it's never really about
what we think the problem is.
It's always something really that's goingon underneath our unconscious peace.
So very often, we'llknow it for ourselves.
It's our gut feeling.
It's our knowing.
If we went a step further andsaid, what is this really about?
(16:12):
We'd quite quickly get to the unconscious.
But it can be tricky so.
For me, I mean, I can only speak for myown personal journey, but I feel like
at some point in my, you know, selfdevelopment journey, I became aware of
this idea of subconscious things holdingyou back and I've got better at kind of.
I don't always think, you know, I don'tthink about it most of the time, but
(16:33):
occasionally I'll find myself, usuallyfor me it's procrastination, because I'm
somebody who gets a lot of stuff done.
But if I start procrastinating you know,got things planned and I'm not doing them.
I do then have this sort of thingwhere I go, oh, hang on a minute.
Like you say, what's really happening?
For me, usually procrastination issomething to do with am I really sure
(16:55):
that this is the right direction?
Do you know what I mean?
Sometimes the first time I'm aware of thatis when I start procrastinating, because
it's not the way I typically operate.
So it's kind of like a bit of a red flag.
So do you think it's something thatyou can always learn to develop?
I mean, I'm sure you must be veryaware of it in yourself, right?
Yeah.
When you said it's not somethingyou're thinking about all the
(17:17):
time, I'm like, that must be nice.
Yeah.
It's like a blessing scanner and a curse.
Because yes, it's on mequite a lot of the time.
I'm like, oh, interesting.
Just being very aware of things.
I wonder why this is happening.
I wonder what's coming up here.
I wonder what this is mirroring.
(17:37):
Yeah.
So yes being definitely learning our own.
I love that awareness of thisis what my not, not the trigger,
but the warning sign that's.
Yeah.
The symptoms.
The sense of, yeah, what's going on here?
I wonder what's really behind this.
Definitely becoming aware of our ownpatterns, of our own ways of doing things.
(18:01):
And being like, huh, thisthing's happening again.
I wonder what I need.
I wonder what needs to be shiftedhere and I definitely think that
takes practice to become aware ofthat because we didn't necessarily get
taught to ask, huh, what do I need here?
How do I shift this and what's going on?
(18:24):
So yeah, it's definitely something we canlearn and it takes a bit of that trial and
error of like, ah, things happening again.
What was this about?
What's going on here?
Do I need to dive deeper?
Do I just need to catch it and belike, nope, new line, new story.
We're going this way.
Or is there something I could dowith delving a little further into?
(18:45):
Yeah.
And I guess some people just,they go their whole lives and they
never even think about what mightsubconsciously be going on for them.
But I wouldn't say that's businessownership is like intensive therapy.
Do you think it's particularlyentrepreneurship almost like
throws up these situations?
Because I suppose you're operatingoutside of fixed framework.
(19:07):
Do you feel that maybe we expose ourselvesto, not dangerous, that's the wrong word.
But like scary situations more often?
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah.
One of my mentors would say startinga business is the biggest personal
growth training you could ever go on.
And I totally would say yes, true.
(19:28):
And I really think that is becausewhen it comes down to it, like
we are responsible for ourselves,for everything, for our lives.
It takes a real being able towork with ourselves, look at
ourselves, rely on ourselves.
Again, in a way we weren'tever necessarily taught.
(19:51):
We're brought up to relyon parents initially.
Then at school for teachersadvice or guidance.
Then in the workplacehaving a boss or a manager.
We always move through this system havingsomeone else's opinion, guidance, advice.
So when we come to this thing, we'relike, I'm going to start up for myself
(20:14):
only to realize, "Oh, I'm that person.
I'm the person every day that has togive the guidance and the advice and
manage all the things and show up."
It can be confronting because it'snot something that's naturally taught.
How to have autonomy andsovereignty over our own decisions.
(20:37):
And I think that's the beauty of it.
I think that's why a lot ofpeople go on that journey.
On the business journey.
Yes, it's to the business and yes, it'sto bring their work to the world, but
I think a huge part of it is they wantto go on their individuation journey.
They want to find out who they really are.
(20:58):
They have this sense of like,I'm capable of something and
I want to know what I can do.
Yes,
and what I can share.
I wonder what my potential is.
I wonder how far I could go.
I think that's such anentrepreneurial spirit.
That's what's behind it oflike, huh, if I'm the creator,
(21:18):
wow, that could go either way.
Let's see what.
I love that.
That's such a beautifuldescription of the journey.
And I love that idea that it's about.
Yeah, because also it's like, for mostpeople, it's, or not most people, but
like lots of people I speak to, it'sabout, you know, like you've had a bad
boss, or I mean, certainly that's, Icertainly felt like one of my big drivers
(21:39):
to leaving, maybe not to me startingmy own business, but certainly to me
leaving the corporate world was I wasjust like, I just had a lot of very
difficult bosses basically in a row.
And I just thought, I just needto do something for myself.
So yeah, it's a really beautiful wayof putting it, but then I suppose
along the way you're dealing withall of these subconscious beliefs
(22:00):
that can pop up and go, yeah, likeyou say, who do you think you are?
I always say to people yeah, sure.
Everyone thinks they're confident, untilyou've created products and put them on
a table and stood behind that table forsix hours and try to sell them to people.
I mean, like that is, whew, that is.
You know, and that's, how many timesdo people do that over Christmas?
Probably people, several people are doingthat hundreds of times over the Christmas.
(22:25):
Or opening a shop, putting your, youknow, putting your name above the
door as it were, or having the shopand inviting people in to buy things.
Like that is a huge leap of puttingyourself out there, isn't it?
I mean, that's really.
You're creating something and you'reasking people you're creating or curating
something, products that you believe in.
And you're basically saying topeople, do you like these too?
(22:47):
I mean, it's really, I thinkconfronting is a great word for it.
Yeah, it is massively confronting.
The most confronting thing we could do.
It's like us putting a pieceof our heart in the world and
saying like, yep, here I am then.
And yeah, it's scary to do thatover and over and over again.
(23:08):
That takes a certain kind ofperson, takes that level of like
sitting in the discomfort of that.
Getting comfortable withbeing uncomfortable.
Yeah.
What does that build in us?
That resilience, that growth, thatexpansion, like it's gotta be worth it.
(23:30):
We've got to know it's worth it.
We've got to see it work in,even if that's in ourselves.
Even if that's like, I went and didthis thing and it stretched me, but
now I'm bigger and now I can hold more.
And now I'm proud of myself.
I think that's what we're doing inthose situations, perhaps without
knowing it, sometimes it can feeldisheartening and then we have
(23:51):
to bring ourselves back again.
But I think that's where we getto show ourselves what we're
made of in all those situations.
Amazing..
Oh, thank you so much, Sophie.
I really enjoyed our chat and yeah,do you want to tell people a little
bit more about where they can findout more about working with you?
Yes, absolutely.
Thank you, I've loved this as well.
(24:11):
So, you can find out more about withworking with me at sophiefrench.co,
you'll find my experiences there.
I often work with people generallyover the course of six months to
really be able to offer transformationto their business or their business.
Also, I work very holistically, soit's not just your business, but how
(24:33):
you're doing anything in the world.
These unconscious things willsupport all areas of life.
And you can follow me onInstagram over at sophiefrench.co.
Amazing.
And of course you're coming into theResilient Retail Club membership group,
and you're going to be holding workshopfor the members all about keeping
(24:55):
your mindset and tip top condition.
Yes, I am.
Yeah, I'm very excited.
Thank you so much.
My pleasure.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for listening.
Don't forget, Sophie is joining us onWednesday, the 5th of February inside
the Club, where she's going to give us aworkshop all about how to overcome these
(25:15):
mindset challenges and make sure yourmindset is in tip top condition for 2025.
I can't wait.
It's going to be a fabulous session.
And if you're not a club member, thenhead over to resilientretailclub.com and
take a look at everything that we offer.
We have a full program ofexpert speakers each month.
As well as coworking sessionsand challenges, tasks every
(25:38):
week to grow your sales.
It is the place to be if you're aproduct business owner, whether that's
e commerce or independent retail,and you want to grow your sales,
check out resilientretailclub.com.
See you next week.
What impact does your sales mindset haveon your actual sales in your business?
(00:05):
That's the question that we're goingto be exploring in today's episode.
Hi everybody, I'm Catherine.
I am your host today.
I'm a small business and retail expert,as well as the founder of the Resilient
Retail Club, which is my membership groupand mastermind for product businesses.
You can find out moreat resilientretailclub.
com.
Today I am joined by mindset coach,Sophie French, who's going to be exploring
(00:28):
all things, small business and mindset.
Welcome to the Resilient RetailGame Plan, a podcast for anyone
wanting to start, grow or scalea profitable creative product
business with me, Catherine Eardley.
The Resilient Retail Game Plan isa podcast dedicated to one thing,
(00:50):
breaking down the concepts and toolsthat I've gathered from 20 years in
the retail industry and showing youhow you can use them in your business.
This is the real nuts and bolts ofrunning a successful product business,
broken down in an easy, accessible way.
This is not a podcast about learninghow to make your business look good.
It's the tools and techniques that willmake you and your business feel good.
(01:14):
Confidently plan, launch, and manageyour products, and feel in control of
your sales numbers and cash flow to helpyou build a resilient retail business.
Sophie, thank you so much forjoining me on the podcast today.
Do you want to kick us off withintroducing yourself and your business?
(01:38):
Hello.
Yes, I would absolutely love to.
I am Sophie French and I am atransformational coach, a subconscious
mind healer and emotional freedomtechnique practitioner and essentially
an all-around, really, shifter ofchange for women who are in business.
And who really are struggling withself doubt, doubting themselves,
(02:02):
holding themselves back.
And I really help them to break freefrom the limits that are going on
in their mind, the stories they'retelling themselves, to live their most
fulfilled, purposeful, delicious life.
Love it.
And I've worked with you,oh gosh, it was years ago.
I think it was pre pandemic.
So we've known each otherfor a really long time.
(02:22):
I don't know if you met Elizabeththrough your workshop, or if Elizabeth
Stiles came to your workshop.
But I always loved the title of it,which was Crush the Can't In Your Head.
Definitely, that's alwaysbeen an interesting one.
That was like, yeah, key.
Crush the Can't In Your Head.
Not to be confused with any other word.
Absolutely, that could work too.
(02:43):
So what kind of got youstarted on this journey?
What got you interested in the impactof mindset on women in business?
So I was really noticing years andyears ago, maybe eight years ago,
I was working as a copywriter.
And I was working with lots of differentcompanies and lots of different people
(03:04):
in business to help them with theirmarketing, to help them with showing up,
to help them with sharing their gifts.
And a key thing that I was noticing waslike, it's all very well having great
copy, having a great marketing plan,having a great online presence, but if
you're not actually feeling confidentin showing up, in being seen, in sharing
(03:26):
your message without that mindset and thatconfidence, this is kind of redundant.
Because there's a gap here andthere's only so far you can go.
So it was like, it's great thatpeople wanted to invest in their
copywriting and their marketing.
But I could see that there was a gapthat actually I was like, there's
something else going on here.
(03:47):
And it was a very personal journeyfor me, understanding how powerful
our mindset is in business.
But also seeing the effects that Icould then support clients within
that respect really got me excited.
And it was feeling much more excitingbecause I was able to do both.
(04:09):
Right.
So you were creating great copy and youknow, you are a fabulous copywriter.
I feel like always go check outSophie's website if you want great
example of really persuasive copy.
I think you always do,a great way with words.
So you were delivering this shiny,fabulous copy to people or marketing
strategy and saying here go do this.
(04:31):
And then with some of them justnot doing anything with it or?
Yeah, exactly.
It was like them sitting thereor yeah, even their book or
their workshop or their ideas.
You know, it was that feeling of like,yeah, you can do so much for someone.
But actually there's this whole otherpiece about, yeah, how do you have the
confidence to then share that with theworld and actually tell people about it.
(04:53):
Because I'm like, you've got this greatcopy, you've got this great product.
Let's get it out there.
And that was the piece thatpeople were resistant on.
And I'm like, okay, well, yeah,there's something to work with here.
Right, absolutely.
So what exactly is it then youthink is holding people back?
Or can you give some examples ofhow that might show itself up?
(05:15):
So it might be that they unwillingto share their idea or their product
or their business with the world.
What is the actual fear?
What are people scared of?
Yes.
What I've seen to be one of themost common being fear of judgment
from other people is huge.
Yeah, there's fear of judgment, fearof rejection, fear of what will people
(05:36):
say aligned with fear of judgment.
And therefore, just not wantingto face that feeling, not
wanting to be with that fear.
And that comes from really early on.
It's very naturally conditionedwithin us to be mindful of what
other people might think because wemight be rejected or not accepted.
(05:57):
So it's very deep rooted.
And this is really what I was seeing, thestories or questions, who am I to do this?
Who am I to share this?
Why would anyone buy from me?
I'm being silly with my little business.
Who do I think I am?
All of these stories were actually aremost commonly what is getting in the
(06:18):
way of people showing up and sharingthe amazing things that they have.
And where do you, so you mentioned thatthese are kind of deeply held beliefs.
How aware do you think weare of where they come from?
Or is this something that youreally have to kind of dig for?
Oh, I love this question.
I'm like, I love we're going to the juice.
Mm hmm.
Mm hmm.
(06:39):
Yeah, so we all have them atlike a evolutionary level.
If we think about like very basicevolution as cavemen and women
going out into the world, doingsomething away from the tribe
would have literally got us killed.
So on an evolutionary level,we've got it in us to want to
(06:59):
stay under the radar somewhat.
To want to stay safe.
It's literally wired into ourbodies of like, "it would be
dangerous for me to raise my headabove the parapet," for example.
So that's in there in ourbiology, in our being.
Doesn't mean that we can't changeit, but that's like at the root level
(07:21):
and then as our conditioning from ourparents, from our schooling, from our
society that also says don't step outof line, don't get too big for your
boots, don't do something different.
And so we hold all of thatas well on top of things.
And that all gets piled up intoour unconscious mind, which is
(07:43):
running 95 percent of our behavior.
So this is really important toknow when we're going to like set
a goal or we say, this is whatI want my business to look like.
This is how much money Iwant to make this year.
Often, we don't know that underneath thereare some beliefs or stories unconsciously
(08:03):
that are saying, that could mean death.
That is dangerous.
Mm hmm.
What I see is that so often withoutthat knowledge, people can turn that
in on themselves by saying, "huh, Imust not be very good at business.
I must not be cut out for this."
Mm hmm.
They make it a "them" problem.
(08:25):
They make themselves wrong when what'sreally going on is no, it's okay.
There's just some unconscious programming.
That isn't currently aligningwith what you say you want.
So we've just got to get intowhat that is and shift it.
Mhmm.
Everything can line up and you canactually start seeing the results.
(08:47):
So you talked about how as we'regrowing up, you know, parents or maybe
teachers or maybe other peers, friends.
Maybe they've kind of given you thatimpression that you need to sort
of toe the line or not stand out.
Do you think that it is thatwe're almost scanning for danger?
So if we see examples of other peoplewho are standing out that got, you
(09:10):
know, like that tall poppy syndrome.
You know, where the idea that if yougrow too tall and you'll get cut down.
Is it always somebody specificallysaying to you, I'll just stop showing
off or who do you think you are?
Or is it sometimes that we'realmost seeing things around us
and interpreting, oh, this personwas really unpopular because they
were showing off all the time.
(09:31):
Or I'm just curious as to if it'svery consistent when you dig in with
people as to where it's come from.
Or could it be all kind ofnumber of different things?
Yeah, great question.
So it is definitely anumber of different things.
It really depends person to person onwhat was the significant imprint or impact
(09:52):
of that certain thing at any one time.
So it could definitely be like aparental relationship is the foundation.
Like our parents are ourworld when we're growing up.
So whatever we learn initiallyabout parents is often how we
then see the world in later life.
(10:13):
That's like the foundational root.
And we can also see we'relooking to our parents to show
us what's safe, what's not.
So if we see our parents get into debtor something or feel deeply ashamed
about it, as an example, then we'regoing to think, oh, I won't do that.
Or if we see someone shining ora sibling shining and we're not
(10:38):
allowed to do that, then all ofthis is happening unconsciously.
It's a real mixture and definitelyseeing other people be what we would now
probably called canceled or cut down.
We see that so often, particularlyas women actually, and it is a
real thing that we get to see.
(10:58):
If a woman shines too bright or getstoo big, how often do we see that
in the public eye that they thenget vilified and they then get told
that they're not allowed to do that.
And that public "look at that."
so that's also that.
Mm.
So then we can understand alittle bit more when we come
(11:21):
to show up in our business.
So share a video on Instagram,for example, and feel like
we're actually going to die.
It's not because we can'tdo it or not good enough.
This is all in there andit's been playing out.
It plays out in the worldaround us all the time.
We are scanning for danger.
We're scanning for what'ssafe, what am I allowed to do,
what's going to keep me safe.
(11:43):
Mm hmm.
Anything that's not that, we'regoing to be like, I don't think so,
unless we've got some extra supportunconsciously or in our systems that
says, I know it's safe, you're okay.
And you've got yourself,even if it's not, is also.
Yes.
Yeah, no, totally.
And I think for me, and that's whyI'm a big believer that it really,
(12:06):
really helps to see something.
What's the phrase?
If you can't see it, you can'tbe it or something like that.
And so for example, I've got my onlinesummit Retail Raw coming up and the
purpose behind it when I started it lastyear was because I wanted to show these
people who had grown their businesses fromoften from their kitchen table all the way
(12:27):
to sort of multi million pound businesses.
Because I think I'm curious to hearwhat you think, but I would imagine
that one of the things that helpsyou feel safe is if you see people
who have done what you want to do.
And have kind of walked that full pathor even if you don't want your business
to be, even if your goal is not to builda multi million pound business, to see
(12:48):
people building and thriving and in havingthese businesses that they've created from
their own creativity, I think that that'ssurely got to be helpful for anyone who's
feeling like, "Oh, maybe this isn't safe."
Yes.
Oh, definitely.
It's so important andpowerful to see examples and
evidence of that are doing it.
(13:12):
People that are moving like that togive us evidence for what we can see and
believe, because we're always lookingfor evidence of what we believe to be
true as an unconscious way of being.
If all we've ever seen is not that, notwhat we're coming to, want to do, then
it's really hard to break out of that.
So looking for evidence that supportswhere we want to go, that supports
(13:37):
what we want to believe is huge.
And like getting around those peopleso that it becomes then normal.
It's like, "Oh yeah, this is real andthis is normal and I can do this."
there is a world with whichthis exists and is possible.
Yeah, totally.
I've got a question foryou about the unconscious.
(13:58):
Because obviously as the wordsuggests, it is unconscious.
How do you know if it's somethingthat's holding you back?
You've given some really great concreteexamples of how our mindset can impact us.
So for example, we don't feelready to put out our marketing,
even though it's brilliant.
You know, we find we struggle with showingup and visibility because you've got that
feeling of it just feels really unsafe.
(14:20):
It is there a way of telling?
Or can you tell when you talk to clients?
If they're talking about something, canyou sort of spot when it's an unconscious
belief holding them back or is it becauseit's unconscious, harder to pinpoint?
So yes, for me, as you're talking aboutit, I'm like, yes, it's a beady eyed
skill that I've developed over the years.
(14:42):
I can pretty quickly see whatis going on under the surface.
So a lot of people, when they'respeaking something like our words are
only 8 percent of what, what is actuallygoing on for us, the words we say.
Everything else is unconscious.
So it's our body language, our tone ofvoice takes up the majority of that.
(15:07):
Yeah, I can sense and spotwhat's really going on here,
what's really the piece here.
So, you know, all of us are operating onthe level of what we think is is right and
true, and what we're consciously aware of.
And so, then it's just takinga little, going a layer deeper,
(15:28):
what is this about really?
And that is essentially whatunconscious exploration is, knowing
that whatever's coming up for us onthe surface, a problem fear belief.
Is to be able to ask,what is this about really?
Hmm.
It reminds me of like, in the filmThe Breakup, where Jennifer Aniston
(15:48):
says like, it's not about the lemons!
And it reminds me of this, oflike it's never really about
what we think the problem is.
It's always something really that's goingon underneath our unconscious peace.
So very often, we'llknow it for ourselves.
It's our gut feeling.
It's our knowing.
If we went a step further andsaid, what is this really about?
(16:12):
We'd quite quickly get to the unconscious.
But it can be tricky so.
For me, I mean, I can only speak for myown personal journey, but I feel like
at some point in my, you know, selfdevelopment journey, I became aware of
this idea of subconscious things holdingyou back and I've got better at kind of.
I don't always think, you know, I don'tthink about it most of the time, but
(16:33):
occasionally I'll find myself, usuallyfor me it's procrastination, because I'm
somebody who gets a lot of stuff done.
But if I start procrastinating you know,got things planned and I'm not doing them.
I do then have this sort of thingwhere I go, oh, hang on a minute.
Like you say, what's really happening?
For me, usually procrastination issomething to do with am I really sure
(16:55):
that this is the right direction?
Do you know what I mean?
Sometimes the first time I'm aware of thatis when I start procrastinating, because
it's not the way I typically operate.
So it's kind of like a bit of a red flag.
So do you think it's something thatyou can always learn to develop?
I mean, I'm sure you must be veryaware of it in yourself, right?
Yeah.
When you said it's not somethingyou're thinking about all the
(17:17):
time, I'm like, that must be nice.
Yeah.
It's like a blessing scanner and a curse.
Because yes, it's on mequite a lot of the time.
I'm like, oh, interesting.
Just being very aware of things.
I wonder why this is happening.
I wonder what's coming up here.
I wonder what this is mirroring.
(17:37):
Yeah.
So yes being definitely learning our own.
I love that awareness of thisis what my not, not the trigger,
but the warning sign that's.
Yeah.
The symptoms.
The sense of, yeah, what's going on here?
I wonder what's really behind this.
Definitely becoming aware of our ownpatterns, of our own ways of doing things.
(18:01):
And being like, huh, thisthing's happening again.
I wonder what I need.
I wonder what needs to be shiftedhere and I definitely think that
takes practice to become aware ofthat because we didn't necessarily get
taught to ask, huh, what do I need here?
How do I shift this and what's going on?
(18:24):
So yeah, it's definitely something we canlearn and it takes a bit of that trial and
error of like, ah, things happening again.
What was this about?
What's going on here?
Do I need to dive deeper?
Do I just need to catch it and belike, nope, new line, new story.
We're going this way.
Or is there something I could dowith delving a little further into?
(18:45):
Yeah.
And I guess some people just,they go their whole lives and they
never even think about what mightsubconsciously be going on for them.
But I wouldn't say that's businessownership is like intensive therapy.
Do you think it's particularlyentrepreneurship almost like
throws up these situations?
Because I suppose you're operatingoutside of fixed framework.
(19:07):
Do you feel that maybe we expose ourselvesto, not dangerous, that's the wrong word.
But like scary situations more often?
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah.
One of my mentors would say startinga business is the biggest personal
growth training you could ever go on.
And I totally would say yes, true.
(19:28):
And I really think that is becausewhen it comes down to it, like
we are responsible for ourselves,for everything, for our lives.
It takes a real being able towork with ourselves, look at
ourselves, rely on ourselves.
Again, in a way we weren'tever necessarily taught.
(19:51):
We're brought up to relyon parents initially.
Then at school for teachersadvice or guidance.
Then in the workplacehaving a boss or a manager.
We always move through this system havingsomeone else's opinion, guidance, advice.
So when we come to this thing, we'relike, I'm going to start up for myself
(20:14):
only to realize, "Oh, I'm that person.
I'm the person every day that has togive the guidance and the advice and
manage all the things and show up."
It can be confronting because it'snot something that's naturally taught.
How to have autonomy andsovereignty over our own decisions.
(20:37):
And I think that's the beauty of it.
I think that's why a lot ofpeople go on that journey.
On the business journey.
Yes, it's to the business and yes, it'sto bring their work to the world, but
I think a huge part of it is they wantto go on their individuation journey.
They want to find out who they really are.
(20:58):
They have this sense of like,I'm capable of something and
I want to know what I can do.
Yes,
and what I can share.
I wonder what my potential is.
I wonder how far I could go.
I think that's such anentrepreneurial spirit.
That's what's behind it oflike, huh, if I'm the creator,
(21:18):
wow, that could go either way.
Let's see what.
I love that.
That's such a beautifuldescription of the journey.
And I love that idea that it's about.
Yeah, because also it's like, for mostpeople, it's, or not most people, but
like lots of people I speak to, it'sabout, you know, like you've had a bad
boss, or I mean, certainly that's, Icertainly felt like one of my big drivers
(21:39):
to leaving, maybe not to me startingmy own business, but certainly to me
leaving the corporate world was I wasjust like, I just had a lot of very
difficult bosses basically in a row.
And I just thought, I just needto do something for myself.
So yeah, it's a really beautiful wayof putting it, but then I suppose
along the way you're dealing withall of these subconscious beliefs
(22:00):
that can pop up and go, yeah, likeyou say, who do you think you are?
I always say to people yeah, sure.
Everyone thinks they're confident, untilyou've created products and put them on
a table and stood behind that table forsix hours and try to sell them to people.
I mean, like that is, whew, that is.
You know, and that's, how many timesdo people do that over Christmas?
Probably people, several people are doingthat hundreds of times over the Christmas.
(22:25):
Or opening a shop, putting your, youknow, putting your name above the
door as it were, or having the shopand inviting people in to buy things.
Like that is a huge leap of puttingyourself out there, isn't it?
I mean, that's really.
You're creating something and you'reasking people you're creating or curating
something, products that you believe in.
And you're basically saying topeople, do you like these too?
(22:47):
I mean, it's really, I thinkconfronting is a great word for it.
Yeah, it is massively confronting.
The most confronting thing we could do.
It's like us putting a pieceof our heart in the world and
saying like, yep, here I am then.
And yeah, it's scary to do thatover and over and over again.
(23:08):
That takes a certain kind ofperson, takes that level of like
sitting in the discomfort of that.
Getting comfortable withbeing uncomfortable.
Yeah.
What does that build in us?
That resilience, that growth, thatexpansion, like it's gotta be worth it.
(23:30):
We've got to know it's worth it.
We've got to see it work in,even if that's in ourselves.
Even if that's like, I went and didthis thing and it stretched me, but
now I'm bigger and now I can hold more.
And now I'm proud of myself.
I think that's what we're doing inthose situations, perhaps without
knowing it, sometimes it can feeldisheartening and then we have
(23:51):
to bring ourselves back again.
But I think that's where we getto show ourselves what we're
made of in all those situations.
Amazing..
Oh, thank you so much, Sophie.
I really enjoyed our chat and yeah,do you want to tell people a little
bit more about where they can findout more about working with you?
Yes, absolutely.
Thank you, I've loved this as well.
(24:11):
So, you can find out more about withworking with me at sophiefrench.co,
you'll find my experiences there.
I often work with people generallyover the course of six months to
really be able to offer transformationto their business or their business.
Also, I work very holistically, soit's not just your business, but how
(24:33):
you're doing anything in the world.
These unconscious things willsupport all areas of life.
And you can follow me onInstagram over at sophiefrench.co.
Amazing.
And of course you're coming into theResilient Retail Club membership group,
and you're going to be holding workshopfor the members all about keeping
(24:55):
your mindset and tip top condition.
Yes, I am.
Yeah, I'm very excited.
Thank you so much.
My pleasure.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for listening.
Don't forget, Sophie is joining us onWednesday, the 5th of February inside
the Club, where she's going to give us aworkshop all about how to overcome these
(25:15):
mindset challenges and make sure yourmindset is in tip top condition for 2025.
I can't wait.
It's going to be a fabulous session.
And if you're not a club member, thenhead over to resilientretailclub.com and
take a look at everything that we offer.
We have a full program ofexpert speakers each month.
As well as coworking sessionsand challenges, tasks every
(25:38):
week to grow your sales.
It is the place to be if you're aproduct business owner, whether that's
e commerce or independent retail,and you want to grow your sales,
check out resilientretailclub.com.
See you next week.
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