June 4, 2025 • 12 mins
Enhancing Family Safety with Situational Awareness: Top Tips
In this episode of The Secure Family Podcast, Andy discusses the importance of situational awareness for family safety. He shares three essential security habits that can help parents protect their families from potential threats.
Topics include checking your surroundings in parking lots, avoiding distractions in public, and identifying unusual behavior. Additionally, the episode touches on current data collection laws and features offers for privacy protection services and online gaming safety resources.
Take control of your data with DeleteMe. Because they sponsor the podcast you can get 20% off a privacy plan from DeleteMe with promo code: DAD.
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00:00 Welcome to The Secure Family Podcast
00:56 Data Collection Reform Update
01:49 Summer Gaming Safety Tips
02:33 Three Essential Security Habits
04:25 Habit 1: Parking Lot Awareness
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Andy (00:09):
This is The Secure Family Podcast.
Welcome friend, I'm Andy Murphy, thehost and the founder of The Secure Dad.
This show is all about empowering parentsto protect themselves and their family.
I believe that security is thefoundation of happiness, and I want
your family to be safe and happy.
The information that I shareon this podcast is for general
(00:30):
information purposes only.
My goal is to empower you tomake safer decisions for yourself
and for your family because oursafety is our own responsibility.
Today I want to share with you threesafety tips that I use all the time,
and I hope you discover that they'regonna make your life easier too.
All of that and more coming upon the Secure Family Podcast.
(00:56):
Well, we almost had a big steptowards data collection reform,
but now that's not happening.
The Consumer Financial ProtectionBureau was going to make data brokers
ask our permission before theycollected and sold our personal data.
But now that's not going to happen.
And honestly, that's a shame.
(01:17):
So if you were waiting on legislationto protect your name, address,
and even social security number,you'll have to do it on your own.
And this is where DeleteMestands ready to help.
They'll remove your data fromhundreds of data broker sites
while you move on with your life.
Right now you can get 20%off your DeleteMe Plan.
(01:38):
Just go to JoinDeleteMe.com/Dad anduse the promo code dad at checkout.
That's JoinDeleteMe.com/Dad code Dad.
There is no doubt that your kids are goingto want to play video games this summer.
With school being out, there's alot more time for this and a lot
more time begging for new games.
(02:00):
If you don't know anything aboutonline gaming, don't worry.
I've got you covered.
My ebook Level Up will teach youeverything that you need to know about the
world of online gaming in just 30 minutes.
By the end, you'll have all theinformation that you need to decide if
online gaming is right for your kids.
Get your copy exclusivelyat TheSecureDad.com.
(02:22):
There's a link in theshow notes for you too.
So today I wanted to chat a little bitabout three things that I do almost
daily that I think you probably needto incorporate into your life too.
(02:43):
I'm always trying to see trouble beforeit starts, and I know that you and I both
don't want to be the target of a crime.
So we need to do a few things to makesure that a bad guy doesn't think
that we're gonna be an easy target.
And many times trouble isn'tpresent, but it's still good to
make wise decisions so that youdon't find yourself in a bad spot.
Of course we can't always be a hundredpercent aware all of the time 'cause
(03:06):
you know, we need to enjoy our life.
Or you know, God forbid we'retired or we have a headache.
While the title of this podcast is kindof simple, we do need to understand
that situational awareness is actuallyvery complicated and you can't get
everything you need to know froma TikTok video or an X thread or a
single episode of a popular podcast.
(03:29):
So, uh, as I alluded to just a momentago, we can't be switched on all the time.
Not even I can do that.
And I've studied this stuff,you know, every week for years.
The fact is that we are going to gettired, we're going to be distracted by
the dog in the parking lot, or we'regonna have our faces in our phones
trying to figure out a text about whatwe're gonna have for dinner tonight.
(03:51):
Knowing that we can't actually besituationally aware all of the time,
I realized that I needed to developsome personal security habits.
And these habits I've developed from whatI have learned about being safe in public.
While my brain may not always beswitched on, if I commit to some of
these hardcore habits, I still havesome security radar working for me.
(04:14):
I've preached this foryears and I practice it too.
So here are three security habitsthat you can use to boost your
situational awareness and avoidbeing the target of a crime.
Now, the first one comes in the parkinglot when you are getting out of your car.
Make sure to check the immediatearea surrounding your vehicle.
(04:35):
I have those little circular blindspot mirrors on my cars and I look at
those before I get out to make surethat nobody is like standing right
beside my car and they're ready torush me as soon as they open the door.
I also look at the one.
On the other side to make surethat nobody is hiding there either.
Then I look in the rear view mirrorand then out the front and through
the windows, and this is a quick scanthat only takes me, I don't know,
(04:58):
10 seconds or something like that.
So this is something that'seasily doable for everybody.
So then I actually take a largerscan of the area to see what's going
on, a little bit further out andto see who or what may not fit in.
And we're gonna talk moreabout that in a minute.
Now, I've done this for a long timeand I've heard Patrick McNamara
say pretty much religiously thathe has a five and 25 yard rule.
(05:22):
He says that if you first look at fiveyards out from your car and then 25 yards
out to see what's going on before youget out, you're gonna be in great shape.
And this was cool to hear himsay that because I've been doing
something like that all along.
But I think the way he's put itis a whole lot more memorable.
So look five yards around yourcar first, and then push out
to 25 and see what's going on.
(05:45):
Secure habit number twois to look up and out.
This means that we limit theopportunity to be distracted in public.
The best way that we can do thisis by not being on our phones
while we're out in public.
When our faces are in ourphones, we are down and in.
This is the exact oppositeof what we need to be doing.
(06:07):
I need all the opportunities that Ican get to see a situation developing,
so the better my odds of being aware,I set myself up for more success
by making sure that my eyes, ears,and brain are available to take
in everything that's happening.
Also, when your face is in your phone,you may not notice that you've wandered
(06:27):
too close to a fountain and you tripand fall in and you're all wet now.
While that sounds ridiculous, I swearI see a video every week of somebody
falling into a fountain or falling downlike an open manhole cover or something.
So keeping yourself alert to yourenvironment is key, and you need
to devote your brain to doing that.
And because it's summer, I alsowant to remind you that you need
(06:49):
to be up and out when you arewatching your kids at the pool.
Remember that.
The last secure habit that Iwanna leave you with for today is
to notice who is acting counterto what's going on around you.
The gentleman of the HumanBehavior Podcast call this
looking for incongruent signals.
That means something that isin a location or shouldn't be.
(07:13):
Or maybe something is missing.
Maybe a person is behavingdifferently than everyone else.
It, it can actually mean a lot of things.
For example, let's headback out to the parking lot.
If I'm in the parking lot at BestBuy and I see a car pull up to
the front of the building by thedoors, that's not something unusual.
Maybe they're dropping somebodyoff for work, or maybe they
(07:34):
just bought a really big TV thatneeds to be loaded into the car.
But now, because you're paying attentionand you are up and out, you see three
people pop out of the car all at once.
Well, that's a little different.
And they're all wearing hoodies and masks.
Well, that's very incongruentto what's going on.
And then they spring insideleaving their car doors open.
(07:57):
None of these are safe behaviors.
These are signals that they are mostlikely going to rob the store and
because again, I'm up and out, I seethis and I decide to get in my car and
leave, then I'm gonna call the cops.
All of the things that these peopledemonstrated in this scenario were
things that we need to be lookingfor, because that's not what people
(08:20):
are doing in the parking lot.
Normally people are parkingtheir car, getting their keys
and their wallet and their phone.
They're getting out andthey're walking into the store.
Anything other than that isreally something that you
should pay attention to.
It might not be a crime.
But it's definitely something that youneed to look at, understand and decide if
that's gonna impact your personal safety.
(08:42):
Now, I have told this story beforeon the podcast, and I think it's
worth going over again because Ithought about it yesterday of all
things, and it really made me laugh.
Plus this really fits intowhat we're talking about.
So on the last day of one of my Disneytrips, I was not in a great mood.
It was, we were going into oneof the parks, I think it was
Epcot, maybe, I don't know.
(09:04):
I was tired and the tripwas coming to an end.
My family had gotten stressed overa disagreement that we had trying
to get from the hotel to the park.
When we reached the outer entranceof the park, the one before the
ticket gate, I realized that I justdid not have a sunny disposition.
The baseline for people going into aDisney Park is happy, excited, energetic,
(09:28):
and I was none of those things.
I also think my stomach hurt too.
So before I even hit the metal detector.
The closest agent squared upto me, and I saw it coming.
His shoulders, his feet and hiships were all directed at me.
He pretty much just ignored mywife and son, and he was just
ready to have an encounter with me.
(09:52):
So there I was talking with thisagent and other people were watching
us as well, and were also on camera.
And he asked to look in my bag.
That's not unusual.
That's totally fine.
Now I know that there's nothing inthis bag that he's going to flag.
So after a brief search, he pullsout my Key Bar and he examines it.
By the way, a Key Bar is this thingfor people who have a lot of keys.
(10:12):
You kind of put them.
It's in this, you know, I reallydon't know how to describe it.
It's just a, it's a big block of keys.
That's, that's what you need to know.
So he gets excited and he tapsthe key bar and he says, sir, you
can't have this knife right here.
He thinks that I have integrateda knife into my key bar, which is
actually something that you can do.
(10:33):
Um, but I had not done that.
He even had just a little bit ofhappy feet as he said this 'cause he
bounced up on the balls of his feetand he kinda looked away so that I
wouldn't catch the smirk on his face.
He was also looking athis other security agents.
I told him that I didn't have a knifeand I splayed out all of the keys
for him and everybody else to see.
I said that the key inquestion that he pointed to was
(10:57):
actually the key to my church.
As quickly as he was excited.
He deflated, and after that hesent me on my way and I smiled
for the first time that morning
In that particular situation, washe wrong to stop and investigate me?
Absolutely not.
He made the right call.
(11:18):
I was the anomaly in thebaseline, but I wasn't a threat.
But he was right to investigate further.
And that's what we have to do is checkout who's not acting like everybody
else and see what's going on and seeif this is gonna be an issue for us.
If it's going to be an issue,we need to get out of there.
I hope you found these threesafety tips helpful, and yes,
(11:40):
there are more and I will sharethem as we go in further podcasts.
Just keep in mind that situationalawareness is a big topic of
multiple domains, and it's actuallya lot of fun to sit and study.
You can't get it all at once,but if you commit to it, it's
a really fascinating journey.
For more on this, I want you to go andlisten to my friends Greg Williams and
(12:01):
Brian Marin of the Human Behavior Podcast.
Thank you friend for joining me for thisepisode of The Secure Family Podcast.
You can take back your privacy andpersonal data with help from DeleteMe.
Get 20% off a privacy plan whenusing the code Dad a checkout.
DeleteMe is the official dataremoval service of The Secure Dad.
(12:26):
Learn everything that you needto know as a parent about online
gaming in just 30 minutes.
My ebook Level Up is readyto download right now.
Check out the link in the description.
I am Andy Murphy reminding you thatour safety is our own responsibility.
This is The Secure Family Podcast.
Welcome friend, I'm Andy Murphy, thehost and the founder of The Secure Dad.
This show is all about empowering parentsto protect themselves and their family.
I believe that security is thefoundation of happiness, and I want
your family to be safe and happy.
The information that I shareon this podcast is for general
(00:30):
information purposes only.
My goal is to empower you tomake safer decisions for yourself
and for your family because oursafety is our own responsibility.
Today I want to share with you threesafety tips that I use all the time,
and I hope you discover that they'regonna make your life easier too.
All of that and more coming upon the Secure Family Podcast.
(00:56):
Well, we almost had a big steptowards data collection reform,
but now that's not happening.
The Consumer Financial ProtectionBureau was going to make data brokers
ask our permission before theycollected and sold our personal data.
But now that's not going to happen.
And honestly, that's a shame.
(01:17):
So if you were waiting on legislationto protect your name, address,
and even social security number,you'll have to do it on your own.
And this is where DeleteMestands ready to help.
They'll remove your data fromhundreds of data broker sites
while you move on with your life.
Right now you can get 20%off your DeleteMe Plan.
(01:38):
Just go to JoinDeleteMe.com/Dad anduse the promo code dad at checkout.
That's JoinDeleteMe.com/Dad code Dad.
There is no doubt that your kids are goingto want to play video games this summer.
With school being out, there's alot more time for this and a lot
more time begging for new games.
(02:00):
If you don't know anything aboutonline gaming, don't worry.
I've got you covered.
My ebook Level Up will teach youeverything that you need to know about the
world of online gaming in just 30 minutes.
By the end, you'll have all theinformation that you need to decide if
online gaming is right for your kids.
Get your copy exclusivelyat TheSecureDad.com.
(02:22):
There's a link in theshow notes for you too.
So today I wanted to chat a little bitabout three things that I do almost
daily that I think you probably needto incorporate into your life too.
(02:43):
I'm always trying to see trouble beforeit starts, and I know that you and I both
don't want to be the target of a crime.
So we need to do a few things to makesure that a bad guy doesn't think
that we're gonna be an easy target.
And many times trouble isn'tpresent, but it's still good to
make wise decisions so that youdon't find yourself in a bad spot.
Of course we can't always be a hundredpercent aware all of the time 'cause
(03:06):
you know, we need to enjoy our life.
Or you know, God forbid we'retired or we have a headache.
While the title of this podcast is kindof simple, we do need to understand
that situational awareness is actuallyvery complicated and you can't get
everything you need to know froma TikTok video or an X thread or a
single episode of a popular podcast.
(03:29):
So, uh, as I alluded to just a momentago, we can't be switched on all the time.
Not even I can do that.
And I've studied this stuff,you know, every week for years.
The fact is that we are going to gettired, we're going to be distracted by
the dog in the parking lot, or we'regonna have our faces in our phones
trying to figure out a text about whatwe're gonna have for dinner tonight.
(03:51):
Knowing that we can't actually besituationally aware all of the time,
I realized that I needed to developsome personal security habits.
And these habits I've developed from whatI have learned about being safe in public.
While my brain may not always beswitched on, if I commit to some of
these hardcore habits, I still havesome security radar working for me.
(04:14):
I've preached this foryears and I practice it too.
So here are three security habitsthat you can use to boost your
situational awareness and avoidbeing the target of a crime.
Now, the first one comes in the parkinglot when you are getting out of your car.
Make sure to check the immediatearea surrounding your vehicle.
(04:35):
I have those little circular blindspot mirrors on my cars and I look at
those before I get out to make surethat nobody is like standing right
beside my car and they're ready torush me as soon as they open the door.
I also look at the one.
On the other side to make surethat nobody is hiding there either.
Then I look in the rear view mirrorand then out the front and through
the windows, and this is a quick scanthat only takes me, I don't know,
(04:58):
10 seconds or something like that.
So this is something that'seasily doable for everybody.
So then I actually take a largerscan of the area to see what's going
on, a little bit further out andto see who or what may not fit in.
And we're gonna talk moreabout that in a minute.
Now, I've done this for a long timeand I've heard Patrick McNamara
say pretty much religiously thathe has a five and 25 yard rule.
(05:22):
He says that if you first look at fiveyards out from your car and then 25 yards
out to see what's going on before youget out, you're gonna be in great shape.
And this was cool to hear himsay that because I've been doing
something like that all along.
But I think the way he's put itis a whole lot more memorable.
So look five yards around yourcar first, and then push out
to 25 and see what's going on.
(05:45):
Secure habit number twois to look up and out.
This means that we limit theopportunity to be distracted in public.
The best way that we can do thisis by not being on our phones
while we're out in public.
When our faces are in ourphones, we are down and in.
This is the exact oppositeof what we need to be doing.
(06:07):
I need all the opportunities that Ican get to see a situation developing,
so the better my odds of being aware,I set myself up for more success
by making sure that my eyes, ears,and brain are available to take
in everything that's happening.
Also, when your face is in your phone,you may not notice that you've wandered
(06:27):
too close to a fountain and you tripand fall in and you're all wet now.
While that sounds ridiculous, I swearI see a video every week of somebody
falling into a fountain or falling downlike an open manhole cover or something.
So keeping yourself alert to yourenvironment is key, and you need
to devote your brain to doing that.
And because it's summer, I alsowant to remind you that you need
(06:49):
to be up and out when you arewatching your kids at the pool.
Remember that.
The last secure habit that Iwanna leave you with for today is
to notice who is acting counterto what's going on around you.
The gentleman of the HumanBehavior Podcast call this
looking for incongruent signals.
That means something that isin a location or shouldn't be.
(07:13):
Or maybe something is missing.
Maybe a person is behavingdifferently than everyone else.
It, it can actually mean a lot of things.
For example, let's headback out to the parking lot.
If I'm in the parking lot at BestBuy and I see a car pull up to
the front of the building by thedoors, that's not something unusual.
Maybe they're dropping somebodyoff for work, or maybe they
(07:34):
just bought a really big TV thatneeds to be loaded into the car.
But now, because you're paying attentionand you are up and out, you see three
people pop out of the car all at once.
Well, that's a little different.
And they're all wearing hoodies and masks.
Well, that's very incongruentto what's going on.
And then they spring insideleaving their car doors open.
(07:57):
None of these are safe behaviors.
These are signals that they are mostlikely going to rob the store and
because again, I'm up and out, I seethis and I decide to get in my car and
leave, then I'm gonna call the cops.
All of the things that these peopledemonstrated in this scenario were
things that we need to be lookingfor, because that's not what people
(08:20):
are doing in the parking lot.
Normally people are parkingtheir car, getting their keys
and their wallet and their phone.
They're getting out andthey're walking into the store.
Anything other than that isreally something that you
should pay attention to.
It might not be a crime.
But it's definitely something that youneed to look at, understand and decide if
that's gonna impact your personal safety.
(08:42):
Now, I have told this story beforeon the podcast, and I think it's
worth going over again because Ithought about it yesterday of all
things, and it really made me laugh.
Plus this really fits intowhat we're talking about.
So on the last day of one of my Disneytrips, I was not in a great mood.
It was, we were going into oneof the parks, I think it was
Epcot, maybe, I don't know.
(09:04):
I was tired and the tripwas coming to an end.
My family had gotten stressed overa disagreement that we had trying
to get from the hotel to the park.
When we reached the outer entranceof the park, the one before the
ticket gate, I realized that I justdid not have a sunny disposition.
The baseline for people going into aDisney Park is happy, excited, energetic,
(09:28):
and I was none of those things.
I also think my stomach hurt too.
So before I even hit the metal detector.
The closest agent squared upto me, and I saw it coming.
His shoulders, his feet and hiships were all directed at me.
He pretty much just ignored mywife and son, and he was just
ready to have an encounter with me.
(09:52):
So there I was talking with thisagent and other people were watching
us as well, and were also on camera.
And he asked to look in my bag.
That's not unusual.
That's totally fine.
Now I know that there's nothing inthis bag that he's going to flag.
So after a brief search, he pullsout my Key Bar and he examines it.
By the way, a Key Bar is this thingfor people who have a lot of keys.
(10:12):
You kind of put them.
It's in this, you know, I reallydon't know how to describe it.
It's just a, it's a big block of keys.
That's, that's what you need to know.
So he gets excited and he tapsthe key bar and he says, sir, you
can't have this knife right here.
He thinks that I have integrateda knife into my key bar, which is
actually something that you can do.
(10:33):
Um, but I had not done that.
He even had just a little bit ofhappy feet as he said this 'cause he
bounced up on the balls of his feetand he kinda looked away so that I
wouldn't catch the smirk on his face.
He was also looking athis other security agents.
I told him that I didn't have a knifeand I splayed out all of the keys
for him and everybody else to see.
I said that the key inquestion that he pointed to was
(10:57):
actually the key to my church.
As quickly as he was excited.
He deflated, and after that hesent me on my way and I smiled
for the first time that morning
In that particular situation, washe wrong to stop and investigate me?
Absolutely not.
He made the right call.
(11:18):
I was the anomaly in thebaseline, but I wasn't a threat.
But he was right to investigate further.
And that's what we have to do is checkout who's not acting like everybody
else and see what's going on and seeif this is gonna be an issue for us.
If it's going to be an issue,we need to get out of there.
I hope you found these threesafety tips helpful, and yes,
(11:40):
there are more and I will sharethem as we go in further podcasts.
Just keep in mind that situationalawareness is a big topic of
multiple domains, and it's actuallya lot of fun to sit and study.
You can't get it all at once,but if you commit to it, it's
a really fascinating journey.
For more on this, I want you to go andlisten to my friends Greg Williams and
(12:01):
Brian Marin of the Human Behavior Podcast.
Thank you friend for joining me for thisepisode of The Secure Family Podcast.
You can take back your privacy andpersonal data with help from DeleteMe.
Get 20% off a privacy plan whenusing the code Dad a checkout.
DeleteMe is the official dataremoval service of The Secure Dad.
(12:26):
Learn everything that you needto know as a parent about online
gaming in just 30 minutes.
My ebook Level Up is readyto download right now.
Check out the link in the description.
I am Andy Murphy reminding you thatour safety is our own responsibility.
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