May 21, 2025 • 17 mins
How to Spot and Prevent Drowning
In this episode, Andy shares crucial insights for parents on how to keep their kids safe around water. Andy recounts a personal and emotional story of a near-drowning incident that underscores the importance of vigilance and understanding the silent nature of drowning.
Drowning Doesn’t Look LIke Drowning by Mario Vittone: https://slate.com/technology/2013/06/rescuing-drowning-children-how-to-know-when-someone-is-in-trouble-in-the-water.html
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00:00 Welcome to The Secure Family Podcast
02:05 Understanding the Real Dangers of Drowning
04:49 A Personal Story of a Near-Drowning Incident
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Andy (00:10):
This is The Secure Family Podcast.
Welcome friend, I'm Andy, the hostand founder of The Secure Dad.
This show is about empowering parentsto protect themselves and their family.
I believe that security is thefoundation of happiness, and I want
your family to be safe and happy.
The information that I shareon this podcast is for general
information purposes only.
(00:32):
My goal is to empower you tomake safer decisions for yourself
and for your family because oursafety is our own responsibility.
Today I'm going to share a very personalstory that will help you keep your
kids safe in the water this summerand for the rest of their lives.
All of that and more coming upon The Secure Family Podcast.
(00:57):
The problem is getting worse.
The amount of personal informationthat data brokers are collecting
on you and me is growing.
There are more details, more individualpieces, and more access than ever before.
Rob Shavell, the CEO of DeleteMe,just told the Wall Street Journal
than in 2023, they'd find about300 pieces of someone's data.
(01:18):
Well, that's bad enough, but today in 2025he says they're finding more than 600.
It's doubled and it's only getting worse.
DeleteMe has 14 years in thisindustry, which is why they are
the leader and have my business.
I've been with them as a customersince 2018, and I can attest
that their service works.
Don't put this off anymore.
(01:40):
Take back your data today.
Right now you can get 20%off your DeleteMe Plan.
Just go to JoinDeleteMe.com/Dadand use promo code DAD at checkout.
That's JoinDeleteMe.com/Dad code Dad.
(02:05):
Being on the water, whether it's thepool, the ocean, or a lake, is supposed
to be a fun time, and it's supposedto be enjoyable with our family.
Of course, as parents, we are alwaysworried about our children getting into
trouble, and that's understandable.
But today I wanna focus on the worstcase scenario and what that really
looks like, so that if we see anythingthat looks like one of our kids might
(02:28):
be in trouble, we know exactly whatto look for and exactly what to do.
Today, I'm gonna share a storythat I've never told before.
And after thinking about it for a fewyears, I decided to put my discomfort
aside for the greater good of educatingparents, which is my life's mission.
But before we get there, I want to shareone of the greatest safety tips that
(02:51):
I ever learned, and that is drowningdoesn't look like it does on tv.
This came from an articlewritten by Mario Vittone.
Mario is retired from the Coast Guardand wrote this outstanding article titled
Drowning Doesn't Look Like Drowning.
Mario writes that most people expectdrowning to be loud and dramatic
(03:12):
with flailing arms and yelling.
In reality, drowning is often silent.
And subtle, you have tobe watching to see it.
Victims can't call for help or wavebecause their body instinctively
focuses on trying to breatheand staying above the water.
People go internal during this time.
(03:35):
Often drowning children arewithin yards of adults who don't
recognize the distress signals.
And today I'm going to talkto you about all of this.
So here are a few signs that a person,child or adult, is in danger of drowning.
Their head is low with the water,with their mouth at water level.
Their head is tilted backwith their mouth open.
(03:57):
Their eyes might be glassy or closed.
They have a vertical body positionedwith little or no leg movement.
There's gonna be gasping orhyperventilating instead of yelling.
That's why we can't yell, because we'retrying to breathe, attempting to swim,
but they're just not making any progress.
They might try to roll over on their back,and they also will appear to climb what
(04:17):
they call the invisible ladder, which isjust this instinctive drowning response.
And then the last one is silence.
There's not gonna be any callingfor help or crazy splashing.
So I read this article in about2018 or so, and I was so impressed
with it that I reached out toMario to be a guest on the podcast.
And until very recently, he was theonly person to ever turn me down.
(04:42):
But I always remembered hiswisdom and I appreciated his
professional correspondence with me.
Now, the next part of this isactually very hard to talk about.
In fact, it took me two yearsto even tell my wife about it.
And while I am very uncomfortabletalking about it, I know the
story will stick with you andhopefully help your kids stay safe.
(05:06):
One summer afternoon, my family met atthe lake with a large group of other
families for a fun day out on the water.
Now, since this was a lake, some ofthe kids were afraid of jumping off
the dock and swimming where theirfeet could not touch the bottom.
Some are also afraid that a fish mighttouch them, and that's fair enough.
So I planned on being out there withthem and keeping an eye on them.
(05:27):
There were a lot of other parentsaround, most of 'em on the dock.
Some were playing with their kidsand other part of the, the lake.
So I was certainly not on my own, Butfloating at a pool noodle and getting
splashed with lake water really isn'tmy idea of a peaceful afternoon.
But there I was.
All of the elementary aged kids thatI was watching were doing great.
(05:48):
They had no issues.
There were some younger kids who were outthere, but their parents were keeping a
close eye on them, which I appreciate.
I am sure some of the other parentswere thinking I was being too much
of a safety spaz being out therewith the kids, but that is who I am.
At one point I noticed thatone of the preschool boys was
out in an area on his own.
(06:09):
So far he had been within arm'sreach of his mom, so seeing him
out there by himself was unusual.
He was wearing a floaty vest thatkept him above water really, really
well, and he was swimming aroundthe back of a very large float.
This float was the size of a pontoon boat.
It was just massive.
I think there were likehalf a dozen people on it.
(06:31):
It was tied to the dock, soit wasn't going anywhere.
It was just a place forpeople to sit, relax, and the
boy's mom was on that float.
The kid that we're gonna callJake in the story has no fear.
As people say, he's just allboy fearless to the point of
getting hurt seemingly every day.
And I noticed after a few momentsthat he was still on his own.
(06:52):
So I decided to float over to him slowly.
I didn't wanna approach himreal quick or you know, pepper
him with a bunch of questions.
When I got to him, he stated thathe wanted to try to climb back
onto the large float, but he wasat the tallest point of the float.
Nobody was gonna get back onto the spotand no one else could see that he was
trying to get up there because theycouldn't look down and see where he was.
(07:14):
So as I floated next to him, I askedhim what he was up to, and a very calm
demeanor that was, you know, just superfriendly and not confrontational at all.
But being a preschooler, he wasn'tas verbal as the other kids.
And he let me know that he was justnot interested in my help and that
he was just gonna do this on his own.
(07:35):
So I stayed with him for a littlebit longer and finally convinced
him to go back around to the sidewhere the other adults could get him.
Once he moved away, I moved backout to the kids that I was watching.
I don't know if he broke away from his momin a busy moment or she was okay with him
being out there, but at any point I feltlike it was best for him just to go back
(07:55):
around there where they could get him.
A few moments later, I gota really heavy feeling.
Something wasn't right.
My intuition was proddingme to check the entire area.
So when I say that you needto listen to that little voice
inside you, I really mean it.
So as I was looking around,I finally spotted him.
(08:17):
Now he was back in that same spotwhere I had floated over and talked
to him the same spot where he wastrying to get back up onto the float
at the absolute worst place possible.
But all I could see of him was his feet.
Jake's entire upper body was underwater,and from the angle of his feet, I
(08:39):
could tell that he was upside down.
His feet were barelyvisible above the water.
His foot had actually gottentangled in the thin rope that
ran the edge of the giant float.
He was stuck in a very bad position.
Immediately I swam to himwithout hesitation or panic.
When I arrived, I could tell thathis foot was caught in the rope and
(09:01):
that he was unable to right himself.
He was really stuck.
His upper body was underwater.
And trapped under the float.
The floaty vest that he waswearing was actually pinning
him to the bottom of the float.
The this device that was made to savehis life was actually now working against
him with his foot tangled in the rope.
(09:22):
He couldn't overcome the force of thevest or swim to another spot to get out.
He was pinned to the bottom of the float.
He was pinned to the bottom ofthe float, silently drowning.
Just a few feet away from his mom.
(09:42):
The first thing that I didwas I unentangled his foot.
I reached underwater and foundhis floaty vest and pulled him up.
What I didn't realize at the time and,and what I saw in that moment, but I
couldn't just cognitively understand,was that he was holding his head
up when I pulled him out of water.
And this is a very good sign becausethat means that he was conscious
and that he hadn't been thereunderwater long enough to asphyxiate.
(10:07):
Also, and this was disturbing.
His eyes were wide open.
I think the entire time hewas trapped under the float.
His eyes were open looking for a way out.
And I cannot explain, and forreasons unknown to me, his
eyes were completely black.
There was no pupil.
(10:27):
There was no iris.
The, there was no white in hiseye like we're used to seeing.
It was just solid black, kindof like something that you
would see in a horror movie.
I called his name and I started talkingto him and I immediately started checking
him out, and then his body just ejectedall of the water out of his system.
(10:53):
It came out of his nose, his mouth,and I swear it came out of his ears.
There was this massive amount ofwater that just flowed out of him.
His body was just clearing it out,which is again, another very good sign.
And when he had ejected the water, hehad closed his eyes, and when he opened
them back up, he inhaled the deepestbreath of his life and his eyes returned
(11:17):
to normal and he started coughing.
He looked at me in extreme confusion,but he was breathing and he was moving.
He wasn't panicking, andhe started blinking a lot.
It actually started to pull away from mejust like he wanted to continue swimming.
So I held onto that floaty jacketfor about another minute or so.
(11:40):
And about that time, his dad came aroundthe corner walking on the dock and he
said that he'd been looking for Jakeand that it was time to go fix lunch.
And I looked up at the dad and Isaid, "Yeah, he needs to get outta
the water." Then I handed him up tohis dad and they walked toward the
house to get ready for lunch, and hehad no idea what had just taken place.
(12:04):
I will explain more about this ina minute, but I didn't know what
to say or to do at that point.
So knowing that he was okay inwalking, he was breathing, no CPR was
required, so I just floated back tothe group of elementary kids that I was
watching and continued on with my day.
I watched Jake for the rest of theafternoon run around like a wild man.
(12:27):
He ate his weight in Chick-fil-ANuggets, and he just laughed with
all of his preschool friends.
And thank God he was completely fine.
In retrospect, I realized thathis foot being caught in the rope
may have really been a blessing.
If he had slipped all the way under thefloat, we might not have ever found him,
(12:49):
and I don't ever think about, you know,what could have happened because God put
me in the right place at the right time.
This was his plan, and I am so verythankful to have been a part of it.
Also, let me say thatJake has good parents.
This was a random, odd situationthat I never would've thought
of unless I hadn't seen it.
(13:09):
And this goes back to myconversation that I had with Gonzalo
Senotian, uh, with Combat MF.
I had him on the showjust before this happened.
And so when we talked, the big pointthat he wanted to drive home was that
kids being unsupervised in the pool wasone of the greatest threats to our kids.
And he's right.
(13:30):
I reached out to him after thisevent and we chatted about it and he
helped me realize the, the gravity ofthe situation that I hadn't really.
grasped yet.
Immediately after the event, I justknew that he was in trouble and I
had done what needed to be done.
That's the protector parent stuffthat is second nature to me.
I didn't fully realize that I had savedthis child from drowning until the next
(13:53):
day when I was messaging with Gonzalo.
I just did exactly what I knew neededto be done and I didn't know what to
think about it after it was all over.
There was a time for a while when Iwould close my eyes at night and I
would just see his feet in the water.
While the situation had wonderfulresults, it still bothered me.
(14:16):
It took me two years to even tell mywife, and she was there when it happened,
And I also teared up when I told her.
I just didn't know what to say, soI just told myself that I did what
needed to be done and that was it.
And even now I don't want you to thinkthat I'm telling you the story because
I want some sort of credit for it.
I don't want that at all.
(14:37):
So if we ever chat, pleasedon't bring this up.
A year after the event with Jake, I was atthe lake with some friends and their sons.
And I jumped off the back of afriend's boat and lost the life
jacket that I was holding onto.
And so for a brief moment, I wasunderwater and I started to panic.
And in that brown water, Icould see the sun shining.
(14:59):
And I noticed how I wasn'tswimming like I knew to do.
And all I could think ofwas Jake in that moment.
In that moment, I understoodhis point of view.
Drowning was really quietand it's very personal.
Obviously I got back up to the waterand got to the life vest, but it was
(15:21):
just this, this moment of understandingof, oh yeah, I see what it's like.
I know how that feels.
And it doesn't look or feel likewe think it's going to, it doesn't
look like what we see in the movies.
And at that particular moment when I wasin the water, I jumped off the back of
the boat so I wouldn't splash anybody.
(15:41):
And nobody had seen me enter the waterand nobody knew that I was under there.
But again, I came up pretty quick and itwas just this moment of understanding,
understanding what had happened to Jake,and understanding what Mario had written.
So parents, you need to keep an eye onyour kids at the pool or at the beach.
(16:04):
You can't scroll on your phone and assumeyou'll jump into action Baywatch style
when you hear your kid yell for help.
When your kid clearly yells,I'm drowning, please save me.
That's not gonna happen.
Their soul will be screaming foryou, but they won't make a sound.
You have to watch them.
(16:25):
And honestly, chances are thatthey're gonna be yelling, Hey,
watch this every 30 seconds anyway,so you might as well just watch.
Mario, if you hear this episode,thank you so much for your article,
and you have an open invitation tocome on the show anytime you want.
Well, that's everythingthat I have for today.
(16:46):
Thank you, friend for listening.
Take back your privacy and personaldata with help from DeleteMe.
Get 20% off a privacy plan whenusing the code Dad at checkout.
DeleteMe is the official dataremoval service of The Secure Dad.
If you are a DIY person and youwant to secure your home, then I
have the ultimate checklist for you.
(17:07):
My Family Home Security Assessment willwalk you through how to protect your home
without making it look like a prison.
Download your copy right nowat the link in the description.
I'm Andy Murphy reminding you thatour safety is our own responsibility,
especially on the water.
This is The Secure Family Podcast.
Welcome friend, I'm Andy, the hostand founder of The Secure Dad.
This show is about empowering parentsto protect themselves and their family.
I believe that security is thefoundation of happiness, and I want
your family to be safe and happy.
The information that I shareon this podcast is for general
information purposes only.
(00:32):
My goal is to empower you tomake safer decisions for yourself
and for your family because oursafety is our own responsibility.
Today I'm going to share a very personalstory that will help you keep your
kids safe in the water this summerand for the rest of their lives.
All of that and more coming upon The Secure Family Podcast.
(00:57):
The problem is getting worse.
The amount of personal informationthat data brokers are collecting
on you and me is growing.
There are more details, more individualpieces, and more access than ever before.
Rob Shavell, the CEO of DeleteMe,just told the Wall Street Journal
than in 2023, they'd find about300 pieces of someone's data.
(01:18):
Well, that's bad enough, but today in 2025he says they're finding more than 600.
It's doubled and it's only getting worse.
DeleteMe has 14 years in thisindustry, which is why they are
the leader and have my business.
I've been with them as a customersince 2018, and I can attest
that their service works.
Don't put this off anymore.
(01:40):
Take back your data today.
Right now you can get 20%off your DeleteMe Plan.
Just go to JoinDeleteMe.com/Dadand use promo code DAD at checkout.
That's JoinDeleteMe.com/Dad code Dad.
(02:05):
Being on the water, whether it's thepool, the ocean, or a lake, is supposed
to be a fun time, and it's supposedto be enjoyable with our family.
Of course, as parents, we are alwaysworried about our children getting into
trouble, and that's understandable.
But today I wanna focus on the worstcase scenario and what that really
looks like, so that if we see anythingthat looks like one of our kids might
(02:28):
be in trouble, we know exactly whatto look for and exactly what to do.
Today, I'm gonna share a storythat I've never told before.
And after thinking about it for a fewyears, I decided to put my discomfort
aside for the greater good of educatingparents, which is my life's mission.
But before we get there, I want to shareone of the greatest safety tips that
(02:51):
I ever learned, and that is drowningdoesn't look like it does on tv.
This came from an articlewritten by Mario Vittone.
Mario is retired from the Coast Guardand wrote this outstanding article titled
Drowning Doesn't Look Like Drowning.
Mario writes that most people expectdrowning to be loud and dramatic
(03:12):
with flailing arms and yelling.
In reality, drowning is often silent.
And subtle, you have tobe watching to see it.
Victims can't call for help or wavebecause their body instinctively
focuses on trying to breatheand staying above the water.
People go internal during this time.
(03:35):
Often drowning children arewithin yards of adults who don't
recognize the distress signals.
And today I'm going to talkto you about all of this.
So here are a few signs that a person,child or adult, is in danger of drowning.
Their head is low with the water,with their mouth at water level.
Their head is tilted backwith their mouth open.
(03:57):
Their eyes might be glassy or closed.
They have a vertical body positionedwith little or no leg movement.
There's gonna be gasping orhyperventilating instead of yelling.
That's why we can't yell, because we'retrying to breathe, attempting to swim,
but they're just not making any progress.
They might try to roll over on their back,and they also will appear to climb what
(04:17):
they call the invisible ladder, which isjust this instinctive drowning response.
And then the last one is silence.
There's not gonna be any callingfor help or crazy splashing.
So I read this article in about2018 or so, and I was so impressed
with it that I reached out toMario to be a guest on the podcast.
And until very recently, he was theonly person to ever turn me down.
(04:42):
But I always remembered hiswisdom and I appreciated his
professional correspondence with me.
Now, the next part of this isactually very hard to talk about.
In fact, it took me two yearsto even tell my wife about it.
And while I am very uncomfortabletalking about it, I know the
story will stick with you andhopefully help your kids stay safe.
(05:06):
One summer afternoon, my family met atthe lake with a large group of other
families for a fun day out on the water.
Now, since this was a lake, some ofthe kids were afraid of jumping off
the dock and swimming where theirfeet could not touch the bottom.
Some are also afraid that a fish mighttouch them, and that's fair enough.
So I planned on being out there withthem and keeping an eye on them.
(05:27):
There were a lot of other parentsaround, most of 'em on the dock.
Some were playing with their kidsand other part of the, the lake.
So I was certainly not on my own, Butfloating at a pool noodle and getting
splashed with lake water really isn'tmy idea of a peaceful afternoon.
But there I was.
All of the elementary aged kids thatI was watching were doing great.
(05:48):
They had no issues.
There were some younger kids who were outthere, but their parents were keeping a
close eye on them, which I appreciate.
I am sure some of the other parentswere thinking I was being too much
of a safety spaz being out therewith the kids, but that is who I am.
At one point I noticed thatone of the preschool boys was
out in an area on his own.
(06:09):
So far he had been within arm'sreach of his mom, so seeing him
out there by himself was unusual.
He was wearing a floaty vest thatkept him above water really, really
well, and he was swimming aroundthe back of a very large float.
This float was the size of a pontoon boat.
It was just massive.
I think there were likehalf a dozen people on it.
(06:31):
It was tied to the dock, soit wasn't going anywhere.
It was just a place forpeople to sit, relax, and the
boy's mom was on that float.
The kid that we're gonna callJake in the story has no fear.
As people say, he's just allboy fearless to the point of
getting hurt seemingly every day.
And I noticed after a few momentsthat he was still on his own.
(06:52):
So I decided to float over to him slowly.
I didn't wanna approach himreal quick or you know, pepper
him with a bunch of questions.
When I got to him, he stated thathe wanted to try to climb back
onto the large float, but he wasat the tallest point of the float.
Nobody was gonna get back onto the spotand no one else could see that he was
trying to get up there because theycouldn't look down and see where he was.
(07:14):
So as I floated next to him, I askedhim what he was up to, and a very calm
demeanor that was, you know, just superfriendly and not confrontational at all.
But being a preschooler, he wasn'tas verbal as the other kids.
And he let me know that he was justnot interested in my help and that
he was just gonna do this on his own.
(07:35):
So I stayed with him for a littlebit longer and finally convinced
him to go back around to the sidewhere the other adults could get him.
Once he moved away, I moved backout to the kids that I was watching.
I don't know if he broke away from his momin a busy moment or she was okay with him
being out there, but at any point I feltlike it was best for him just to go back
(07:55):
around there where they could get him.
A few moments later, I gota really heavy feeling.
Something wasn't right.
My intuition was proddingme to check the entire area.
So when I say that you needto listen to that little voice
inside you, I really mean it.
So as I was looking around,I finally spotted him.
(08:17):
Now he was back in that same spotwhere I had floated over and talked
to him the same spot where he wastrying to get back up onto the float
at the absolute worst place possible.
But all I could see of him was his feet.
Jake's entire upper body was underwater,and from the angle of his feet, I
(08:39):
could tell that he was upside down.
His feet were barelyvisible above the water.
His foot had actually gottentangled in the thin rope that
ran the edge of the giant float.
He was stuck in a very bad position.
Immediately I swam to himwithout hesitation or panic.
When I arrived, I could tell thathis foot was caught in the rope and
(09:01):
that he was unable to right himself.
He was really stuck.
His upper body was underwater.
And trapped under the float.
The floaty vest that he waswearing was actually pinning
him to the bottom of the float.
The this device that was made to savehis life was actually now working against
him with his foot tangled in the rope.
(09:22):
He couldn't overcome the force of thevest or swim to another spot to get out.
He was pinned to the bottom of the float.
He was pinned to the bottom ofthe float, silently drowning.
Just a few feet away from his mom.
(09:42):
The first thing that I didwas I unentangled his foot.
I reached underwater and foundhis floaty vest and pulled him up.
What I didn't realize at the time and,and what I saw in that moment, but I
couldn't just cognitively understand,was that he was holding his head
up when I pulled him out of water.
And this is a very good sign becausethat means that he was conscious
and that he hadn't been thereunderwater long enough to asphyxiate.
(10:07):
Also, and this was disturbing.
His eyes were wide open.
I think the entire time hewas trapped under the float.
His eyes were open looking for a way out.
And I cannot explain, and forreasons unknown to me, his
eyes were completely black.
There was no pupil.
(10:27):
There was no iris.
The, there was no white in hiseye like we're used to seeing.
It was just solid black, kindof like something that you
would see in a horror movie.
I called his name and I started talkingto him and I immediately started checking
him out, and then his body just ejectedall of the water out of his system.
(10:53):
It came out of his nose, his mouth,and I swear it came out of his ears.
There was this massive amount ofwater that just flowed out of him.
His body was just clearing it out,which is again, another very good sign.
And when he had ejected the water, hehad closed his eyes, and when he opened
them back up, he inhaled the deepestbreath of his life and his eyes returned
(11:17):
to normal and he started coughing.
He looked at me in extreme confusion,but he was breathing and he was moving.
He wasn't panicking, andhe started blinking a lot.
It actually started to pull away from mejust like he wanted to continue swimming.
So I held onto that floaty jacketfor about another minute or so.
(11:40):
And about that time, his dad came aroundthe corner walking on the dock and he
said that he'd been looking for Jakeand that it was time to go fix lunch.
And I looked up at the dad and Isaid, "Yeah, he needs to get outta
the water." Then I handed him up tohis dad and they walked toward the
house to get ready for lunch, and hehad no idea what had just taken place.
(12:04):
I will explain more about this ina minute, but I didn't know what
to say or to do at that point.
So knowing that he was okay inwalking, he was breathing, no CPR was
required, so I just floated back tothe group of elementary kids that I was
watching and continued on with my day.
I watched Jake for the rest of theafternoon run around like a wild man.
(12:27):
He ate his weight in Chick-fil-ANuggets, and he just laughed with
all of his preschool friends.
And thank God he was completely fine.
In retrospect, I realized thathis foot being caught in the rope
may have really been a blessing.
If he had slipped all the way under thefloat, we might not have ever found him,
(12:49):
and I don't ever think about, you know,what could have happened because God put
me in the right place at the right time.
This was his plan, and I am so verythankful to have been a part of it.
Also, let me say thatJake has good parents.
This was a random, odd situationthat I never would've thought
of unless I hadn't seen it.
(13:09):
And this goes back to myconversation that I had with Gonzalo
Senotian, uh, with Combat MF.
I had him on the showjust before this happened.
And so when we talked, the big pointthat he wanted to drive home was that
kids being unsupervised in the pool wasone of the greatest threats to our kids.
And he's right.
(13:30):
I reached out to him after thisevent and we chatted about it and he
helped me realize the, the gravity ofthe situation that I hadn't really.
grasped yet.
Immediately after the event, I justknew that he was in trouble and I
had done what needed to be done.
That's the protector parent stuffthat is second nature to me.
I didn't fully realize that I had savedthis child from drowning until the next
(13:53):
day when I was messaging with Gonzalo.
I just did exactly what I knew neededto be done and I didn't know what to
think about it after it was all over.
There was a time for a while when Iwould close my eyes at night and I
would just see his feet in the water.
While the situation had wonderfulresults, it still bothered me.
(14:16):
It took me two years to even tell mywife, and she was there when it happened,
And I also teared up when I told her.
I just didn't know what to say, soI just told myself that I did what
needed to be done and that was it.
And even now I don't want you to thinkthat I'm telling you the story because
I want some sort of credit for it.
I don't want that at all.
(14:37):
So if we ever chat, pleasedon't bring this up.
A year after the event with Jake, I was atthe lake with some friends and their sons.
And I jumped off the back of afriend's boat and lost the life
jacket that I was holding onto.
And so for a brief moment, I wasunderwater and I started to panic.
And in that brown water, Icould see the sun shining.
(14:59):
And I noticed how I wasn'tswimming like I knew to do.
And all I could think ofwas Jake in that moment.
In that moment, I understoodhis point of view.
Drowning was really quietand it's very personal.
Obviously I got back up to the waterand got to the life vest, but it was
(15:21):
just this, this moment of understandingof, oh yeah, I see what it's like.
I know how that feels.
And it doesn't look or feel likewe think it's going to, it doesn't
look like what we see in the movies.
And at that particular moment when I wasin the water, I jumped off the back of
the boat so I wouldn't splash anybody.
(15:41):
And nobody had seen me enter the waterand nobody knew that I was under there.
But again, I came up pretty quick and itwas just this moment of understanding,
understanding what had happened to Jake,and understanding what Mario had written.
So parents, you need to keep an eye onyour kids at the pool or at the beach.
(16:04):
You can't scroll on your phone and assumeyou'll jump into action Baywatch style
when you hear your kid yell for help.
When your kid clearly yells,I'm drowning, please save me.
That's not gonna happen.
Their soul will be screaming foryou, but they won't make a sound.
You have to watch them.
(16:25):
And honestly, chances are thatthey're gonna be yelling, Hey,
watch this every 30 seconds anyway,so you might as well just watch.
Mario, if you hear this episode,thank you so much for your article,
and you have an open invitation tocome on the show anytime you want.
Well, that's everythingthat I have for today.
(16:46):
Thank you, friend for listening.
Take back your privacy and personaldata with help from DeleteMe.
Get 20% off a privacy plan whenusing the code Dad at checkout.
DeleteMe is the official dataremoval service of The Secure Dad.
If you are a DIY person and youwant to secure your home, then I
have the ultimate checklist for you.
(17:07):
My Family Home Security Assessment willwalk you through how to protect your home
without making it look like a prison.
Download your copy right nowat the link in the description.
I'm Andy Murphy reminding you thatour safety is our own responsibility,
especially on the water.
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