Touring History 7-26-25

TOURING HISTORY - JULY 26TH SCRIPT

COLD OPEN

LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, where we make the past more entertaining than your uncle's vacation slides. I'm Lane.

DAVE: And I'm Dave, still trying to wrap my head around the fact that people used to pay money to watch other people get mauled by lions for entertainment. Really puts our reality TV obsession in perspective.

LANE: Today we're exploring July 26th, a date that's given us constitutional amendments, space achievements, and some truly questionable presidential decisions.

DAVE: Speaking of July 26th, we got a voice memo from a listener. Sezso, what do we have?

LISTENER VOICE MEMO

SEZSO (as listener): [Proud, slightly emotional voice] Hey Lane and Dave! July 26th, 1990, was the day the Americans with Disabilities Act was signed into law. As someone who uses a wheelchair, this date literally changed my life and millions of others. It's wild to think that before 1990, businesses could just... not have ramps? Like, "Sorry, stairs only, good luck!" Now I can actually get into restaurants without having to be carried like a piece of furniture. It's not perfect, but man, what a difference 34 years makes. Thanks for making history fun, guys!

LANE: That's actually incredibly important. The ADA was a massive civil rights victory.

DAVE: And it really puts into perspective how recent basic accessibility requirements are. 1990 wasn't that long ago!

CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS

LANE: Let's celebrate some July 26th birthdays! We've got Mick Jagger turning 81 today, proving that rock stars apparently don't follow normal human aging rules.

DAVE: Also born today: Helen Mirren, who's basically achieved legendary status in everything from Shakespeare to action movies. And Sandra Bullock, who somehow made us believe that falling in love with Keanu Reeves on a bus was totally reasonable.

LANE: Can't forget Stanley Kubrick, born July 26th, 1928. Filmmaker genius who gave us masterpieces like "2001" and made everyone afraid of hotel carpets forever.

DAVE: That hallway scene still gives me nightmares. Thanks, Stanley.

SALACIOUS DAVE SEGMENT

DAVE: Scandal time! July 26th, 1953, Fidel Castro launched his first armed attack against the Batista government in Cuba by assaulting the Moncada Barracks. It was a complete disaster.

LANE: How is a failed revolution salacious?

DAVE: Because Castro showed up with 160 rebels to attack a fortress with 1,000 soldiers, thinking surprise was enough. It's like bringing a water gun to a tank fight! Most of his people were captured or killed, and Castro got sentenced to 15 years in prison.

LANE: So it's political incompetence as scandal?

DAVE: The salacious part is that this spectacular failure somehow launched his career! He turned his trial into a propaganda platform, got amnestied after two years, and came back to successfully overthrow the government. It's the ultimate "failed upward" story.

LANE: So he basically failed his way to success?

DAVE: Exactly! It's like getting fired from McDonald's and then becoming CEO of Burger King. Sometimes disaster is just delayed victory with better PR.

INNOVATION LANE SEGMENT

LANE: Innovation time! July 26th, 1971, Apollo 15 launched with the first lunar rover, basically turning moon exploration into the universe's most expensive off-road adventure.

DAVE: They literally took a dune buggy to the moon. That's peak human engineering right there.

LANE: The lunar rover let astronauts travel 17 miles across the moon's surface instead of just walking around their landing site. It transformed how we could explore space - suddenly we weren't limited to wherever we could walk in those bulky suits.

DAVE: Plus they got to do donuts on the moon, which has to be the ultimate "my commute is cooler than yours" story.

LANE: Also on July 26th, 1956, Egypt nationalized the Suez Canal, which was basically President Nasser saying "This incredibly important waterway? Yeah, it's ours now." Revolutionary approach to international trade routes.

DAVE: That's like someone deciding they own the highway in front of their house. Except the highway connects Europe to Asia and handles 10% of global trade.

AD BREAK

LANE: Time to talk about our friends at The Cheese Store of Beverly Hills, LA's most legendary cheese destination since 1967.

DAVE: With over 600 varieties of imported cheeses, this isn't just a store - it's basically a cheese university where you can eat your homework.