Addiction Is An Adaptation: The Neurobiology of Survival and Shame

Society has long framed addiction as a character flaw—but at Trauma Rewired, we know that couldn’t be further from the truth. Addiction isn’t about who we are at our core; it’s about how we’ve learned to survive in chaotic, neglectful, or unsupported environments. As humans, we’re always seeking homeostasis. When we don’t have the tools—or the environment—to support that, we adapt in the ways we know how.

Just as trauma and addiction can rewire the brain, healing and regulation can too. In today’s episode, Elisabeth and Jennifer welcome a dear friend and special guest, Brooke Wolfe. Once an addiction recovery coach and now a somatic voice coach, Brooke helps women heal by reclaiming their voice. Together, they share their personal journeys with addiction and recovery, offering powerful reframes that challenge shame-based narratives.

They also explore the neurobiology of addiction—discussing the brain structures involved, the roles of the pain and pleasure systems, and how hormones like oxytocin shape our experience. Brooke reveals how working with the voice can unlock deeper emotional regulation and expand our capacity to feel. She also shares a few simple but transformative practices you won’t want to miss.

We may not be able to change what happened to us, but we can change how we relate to it. The outdated idea that addiction means something is wrong with you must be left behind. Addiction is a biological strategy for relief, not a moral failing—and when we view it through that lens, healing becomes possible.

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, this episode is a must-listen. Share it with someone who needs it—and tune in for an inspiring, compassionate conversation.

Topics discussed in this episode:

• Addiction as a biological strategy for relief and safety

• How trauma impacts and rewires the brain

• The reward circuitry of the brain and its role in addiction

• The influence of attachment styles and the hormone oxytocin

• How hypersensitivity can disconnect us from our bodies

• Reclaiming connection and community as part of the healing process

• The impact of high ACE scores and early childhood stressors

• Self-sabotage as a form of protection and self-preservation

• Somatic and practical healing practices for addiction

• Using the voice as a powerful tool for regulation and transformation

If you are interested in learning more about Brooke Wolfe and Neuro-Somatic Voice Coaching, visit her website here: https://www.brookewolfe.com/

Get started training your nervous system with our FREE 2-week offer on the Brain Based Membership site: https://www.rewiretrial.com

 

Connect with us on social media: @trauma.rewired

 

Join the Trauma Rewired Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/761101225132846

 

FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive of

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
The question is never why the addiction, but why the pain? That's a quote
from Dr. Gabor, mate. And in this episode, we're really looking
at addiction as not a moral failing, but as a response to
suffering. A nervous system adaptation, a neurochemical
loop that starts in chronic dysregulation and pain, whether that's
physical or emotional. It's an output that often leads us then to

(00:22):
social isolation and can compound our trauma, and it
can lead to physical health issues. In this episode, we're going to dive deep into
the neurobiology of addiction, the reward circuitry of the brain and how
trauma shapes our pathways of pleasure and pain. And
we're joined today by a dear friend of ours and an
incredible somatic practitioner who has really stood on both

(00:44):
sides of this story. Brooke Wolf is a somatic voice coach,
a former addiction recovery coach, and someone who helps
people reclaim their authenticity voice, literally and
metaphorically. This episode is part of a powerful season where
we're examining the mental and physical health outputs of trauma through
a neurosomatic lens, revealing how deeply our

(01:07):
biology, behaviors and emotional patterns are
intertwined. Addiction is not just a chemical dependency, but a
nervous system adaptation. And understanding this helps us shift
from shame into empowered healing, foreign.
Welcome to Trauma Rewired, the podcast that teaches you about your

(01:27):
nervous system, how trauma lives in the body, and what you can do to heal.
I'm your co host, Jennifer Wallace. I'm a neurosomatic psychedelic
preparation and integration guide, and I bring your nervous system into
peak somatic experiences. And I'm also one of the educators at the
neurosomatic intelligence coaching certification. And I'm your co host, Elizabeth
Kristof, founder of Brain Based.com, an online community where we use applied

(01:50):
neurology somatics nervous system regulation
tools to process stress, increase capacity, and improve
resilience. And I'm also the founder of the neurosomatic intelligence coaching
certification, an ICF accredited course for coaches, therapists,
practitioners to really bring the nervous system in as a
foundation of all of the good work that you do. And again, I'm

(02:11):
so excited today to introduce Brooke. She has not only worked on the
front lines of addiction in recovery centers, but she's also led Jen and
I through profound healing experiences using
somatic voice activation. It's really opened up a whole
new portal of working somatically for me in a way that's
so much more fun. And I'm just excited

(02:34):
to have you here and to dive into all of this. And
before we get going on this episode. I'd love for you to introduce yourself and
tell us some parts of your story that are really relevant to the conversation
today. Yeah. Thank you so much, Jennifer and Elizabeth. I'm so
happy to be here. And as always, for diving into
such a complex and necessary topic. As

(02:56):
a somatic practitioner and a former addiction recovery
coach, this is such a tender topic for
me, not only from my own personal experience, but for
also many clients that I've worked with. You know, I've
spent the last decade working in addiction treatment
facilities. I've worked in inpatient detox,

(03:19):
residential facilities, outpatient facilities, all levels
of care from adolescents to adults. I've worked in dual
diagnosis eating disorder and mental health treatments.
And I'm telling you this, addiction does not
discriminate. Anyone can be on this journey. And it's just
such a powerful topic. And you know, as most of us,

(03:41):
my, my own body of work is inspired by my own lived
experience. He from addiction. I, from ages
15 to 19, struggled deeply,
escalated to a heroin and methamphetamine addiction. And by
the time I was 19, I found myself in a rehabilitation
facility and that absolutely transformed my life.

(04:03):
Nearly overnight, I experienced intense
change. However, the lasting sustainable
change at the level of the nervous system really didn't happen until I started getting
into somatic work. And that was finding
out the root of the pain that was driving my addiction, that was driving
my nervous system's desire to self regulate through substances

(04:26):
was, you know, a deeper, a deeper issue of
complex trauma and attachment, wounding and my own high ACE
scores. So really understanding that my
addiction did help me survive and get through a really challenging time in my
life. But it stopped working and I had to find
other tools that met that same need. And so it's been

(04:48):
such a life changing, transformative journey that
there's always a new layer unraveling for my
addiction recovery. It's so much more than just removing the substance from your life,
but your relationship with all of life and how you relate to life and the
people and every behavior and every substance, everything that you put in your
body and everything that you come into contact with. And

(05:11):
I just feel so grateful to be here. I'm super excited to
dive into this topic and I also want to just
acknowledge and recognize and thank everyone who is curious
and courageous enough to explore this realm of addiction.
I have lost so many clients and friends
and family members to addiction. My brother passed

(05:33):
away three years ago this week to addiction.
And it is just such a tender topic. And I want to bring that
forward because there's also so much liberation.
I've seen hundreds of people find just
these jaw dropping, transformational, life
changing experiences through healing from

(05:55):
addiction and healing. And so much hope is possible.
And it happens at the level of the nervous system and this really is it.
And so I'm super excited to dive into this topic. Thank you for having
me. Thank you so much for being here. I mean you, thank
you for all that you've shared with us and our listeners too. I mean, you
have such a profound wisdom that comes from within,

(06:17):
not just from your education, but from your lived
experience. And as I uncouple from a
cannabis addiction, like being supported by you during this time, it
just could not have lined up more synchronistically
divine for me in this moment. So I'm really looking forward to
sharing you with our listener. Because addiction is an

(06:39):
adaptation, it's not a weakness. And addiction,
when viewed through the lens of neurosomatic intelligence is, or
viewed through the neurosomatic lens is the nervous system's attempt to self
regulate in the face of chronic dysregulation, unresolved
trauma, and internal chaos. It's not about weakness or
it's not about lack of willpower. It's a biological strategy

(07:01):
for relief when safety and regulation feel out of
reach. And if you've been following trauma rewired for a while, you know
that Elizabeth and I have shared incredibly openly about our food
addictions and how we view food. There's actually 10
episodes that come before this one that have to do with food, so I'm not
gonna spend a lot of time there. But binge eating and

(07:23):
cycles of restriction are definitely play a role in
all of our lives, the three of us, here and now. And I have
spoken openly about my use of cannabis, but now I am
uncoupling myself from this cannabis and really
understanding how it has been a
dampener, how it's been a protector, how it has saved

(07:44):
me. And for 33 years I have been
using and misusing this medicine
and even alcohol we've been pretty open with here
too. And all of these substances, they're all
just coming in to help solve a problem and give us
relief from the chronic dysregulation. And when I think about

(08:06):
the cannabis addiction that I am coming out from, so much
of it does feel emotional, like it's tied up
into emotional trauma, dysregulation, fear
of women and women's suffering, circles and spaces and
isolation. It just really kept me hiding
and really kept me from

(08:28):
experiencing my life and having to face
What I refer to as overwhelm. Right. And
we talk openly a lot about overwhelm. And I thought I was
overwhelmed. And now it's like it's a waking
up to my life as we sit here today to record I'm only on
day 13 of cold turkey. So it's a journey and

(08:50):
I'm sure we're going to explore that a little bit more. Yes. Gosh. Thank you
both for sharing so openly and Brooke, for
also highlighting what a portal addiction can be to
transformation to higher levels of consciousness, to healing
generational trauma patterns that are moving through our
family lines. And that in some ways it

(09:12):
can be our gift. Right. And. And Jen, for the
way that you talked about that root of emotional
dysregulation that is underneath there. And that's what I was really
thinking about when we were talking about it being an adaptation,
not a weakness. And I think back to my adolescent self
flailing through the world, just

(09:34):
so dysregulated in so much internal chaos and
so much internal pain. And I just needed a
break. I needed a relief for that. I needed some kind of
pressure valve to release. And so, you know, I've
had all kinds of struggles with addiction, from alcohol to
cocaine to food, like Jen mentioned, that we talk about on here a lot.

(09:56):
And at the root of that, I can see the emotional
dysregulation, the way that my nervous system was
patterned to chronically repress emotions and
to not have the skill to be able to process
and articulate and move through that emotional
experience. And how much. How much stress

(10:18):
that caused my system and the relational components
to that as well that you were talking about, Brooke, the attachment patterns.
And I think I see this loop as we talk
about this, where we have some kind of emotional trigger, Right. It could be
an emotional flashback or there's some thing that
constructs an emotional experience in our nervous system, in our brain,

(10:41):
from the sensory stimulus that's coming in. And so we start to
experience all the sensations of that
emotion, including the thoughts that come with that, the
internal physical sensations, the
physiological responses, and then that creates
a craving for relief of some sort. And

(11:02):
so much of the time we find that in a behavior or a substance, and
that will offer a short term solution. But then it leads to
deeper dysregulation a lot of the time, whether that's overeating or
using a substance, drinking alcohol, cannabis, whatever, and
then that compounds with more emotional experience, right? Like
shame or the situations that we end up putting

(11:24):
ourselves in, the boundaries that we violate. And so the
the stress load gets higher, and then we're stuck in this loop of now
there's more trauma, more stress, more emotions to
process. We don't have the skill. We go back to using the substance
that creates more. And it's just this ongoing cycle.
Yeah. Thank you so much, Elizabeth, for just highlighting that vicious cycle

(11:47):
of addiction that does give us this immediate
relief. It works. And eventually it does
perpetuate more overwhelm, more dysregulation. And it's like,
I imagine it, like, digging us in this, like, deep hole that we don't even
realize we're digging ourselves into. And we don't realize how deep we are of,
like, you know, overriding our needs of our body or

(12:09):
crossing our own boundaries or not even knowing what boundaries are.
And just eventually we get into this kind of in between a
rock and a hard place, and we don't know how to get out because we've
been doing it for so long. And it's just such a
journey. And thank you, Jennifer and Elizabeth, both, for just your
courage and humility, always, for sharing your own journey.

(12:31):
I love that we can come here together as practitioners and space
holders, and also honor that. Yes, we're still on our
own ever evolving journey of healing and transformation.
And I think that's so important, too, because I got clean when I was
19, but then there was an eating disorder, then there was alcoholism,
then there was relationships and codependency. There was, like, layer

(12:53):
and layer, and I was like, whoa, there's more. Whoa, there's more. And
it really is this getting to the root that
exists in the nervous system and so powerful
and really understanding and resolving trauma on a nervous system
level and understanding how trauma will alter our brain
development. It will alter our ability to make decisions.

(13:16):
I mean, from reshaping our stress response system, the
HPA axis, enlarging our amygdala,
that fear center, switching off our
prefrontal cortex, like, our ability to make decisions as
teenagers. I feel like that's when so many of our addictions
first kind of start coming online, when we're developing an identity and

(13:37):
a sense of self and our place in the world and our community and our
tribe and at school. And we start developing
more protective strategies because we're emerging out of
that vulnerable, more inner child part of our life and
into, okay, layers of protection and the masks that we
wear to feel safe in the world. And so

(14:00):
trauma will leave us more predisposed to
addiction, even dysregulating our dopamine reward
system. So I know, Jennifer, you Guys are going to get more into that. But
the good news is this can all be re patterned through somatic
and nervous system based tools like the ability to rewire and re
pattern. I'm constantly in awe. I have seen it over and over and over

(14:22):
again. A deeply worn neural pathway to pick up
that drink and then you make a different choice one day
at a time and you re pattern that re pattern that one tiny habit at
a time. And it's so, so possible. And I've done it myself over and
over again and I've seen thousands of people do it and it truly
is incredible. And I think it's really important that we

(14:44):
ask ourselves what need is this substance or behavior
meeting? And how can I get this need met in a supportive and
sustainable way? Like that's the key here. And when I first got
clean, I discovered that outer shell, that deeply
layered pattern of self abandoning, of numbing out, of
compulsive coping for my own survival. This happened for me

(15:07):
like I've told you guys, through food relationships, overworking, hyper
productivity cycles, feeling safe by doing things
right, constantly people pleasing. I was just constantly
trying to self soothe, to control my outer experience because
I felt so chaotic and out of control of these
suppressed emotions and everything that I stuffed down that was

(15:29):
like compounded over years and years of my life. And it was like
just bubbling up to the surface. And I couldn't go deep
into it all at once. It was too overwhelming. And that's what
I find. So many healing journeys and so many practitioners will be like, well
just feel it to heal in and go to the root. It's way too much.
You can't dive into that pool. One layer. Titrating into

(15:51):
it layer by layer at a time, easing with lots of
somatic resourcing and safety, which I know we'll, we'll get into
shortly. But it really is. If we had never
had access to things like co regulation, emotional
attunement, somatic safety, just feeling safe, alive
and free in our body at all, then we're just gonna

(16:13):
reach for what is available. Absolutely.
And remembering that that neuroplastic component
of being a human, that we can re pattern but it has to be at
the pace that we can positively adapt to.
And I used to work with someone for my addictions that
would say like we, we deal with the one that's most likely to kill us

(16:35):
first, like one step at a time, right? And then we get
to these deeper layers because we talk and hear a
lot about everything being a skill and every skill Is trainable.
And our addictions, our behaviors, they are skills that we
have learned. There is a huge component of those addictions that were
really life saving. I don't know that I would be here if I

(16:57):
didn't have that to help me cope with the world and
my past experiences. And as I'm
moving through those cycles of addiction, I am creating further
deficits in my nervous system, more deficits in my
interoceptive system system, My ability to feel and accurately
interpret those signals. More chronic dysregulation.

(17:19):
And so there's this balance between, yes, I need it
to stay alive, and also it's compounding on
itself. And so we've talked about that chronic
dysregulation and the high stress load that drives addiction. But I do want to
dive a little bit into the reward circuitry
component of this, Because I think that's a key component to

(17:41):
understanding addiction, how our reward circuitry
works. And so our reward circuit in the brain is known as
our mesolimbic pathway. And that's a network that begins in the
ventral tegmental area, you can call it the VTA for short.
And it's a dopamine producing region in the midbrain. And then that
dopamine travels to different structures in your brain. Nucleus

(18:03):
accumbens, prefrontal cortex. These are areas that are responsible
for our experience of motivation,
of reward, that drive our decision making. And so when
we engage in behaviors that were
at one point there for the proliferation of our species,
right? Eating high calorie glucose rich foods,

(18:25):
connecting socially, sexual activity, reproduction,
moving our bodies, this pathway lights up, right? It's there to
drive those behaviors that are life sustaining for the human
species. And we get a release of dopamine, and it
reinforces those actions. And there are
substances like drugs or alcohol or even high sugar

(18:46):
foods that will flood this system with
unnaturally high levels of dopamine. And then we get this big
spike, and then that's followed by a dip in our
dopamine. It's called the opponent process reaction. So you can kind of
think of it as a jagged graph line that goes downward. So we get
this big spike. But then our body's trying to maintain homeostasis, so

(19:09):
we plummet down. And then to get back to that
baseline, we need more of the substance
that creates dopamine, right? So after engaging in a substance that
spikes our dopamine, we experience the craving for more of it.
And that's our brain's attempt to return to homeostasis.
And we feel in those moments where we're dipping down, really

(19:30):
depleted, right? And so we crave more of that just to escape. And then
over time, our brain becomes desensitized, and
it starts producing less dopamine. And you can even have a reduction in the
number of dopamine receptors available to absorb dopamine
because we're always adapting to what we do. And so as a
result of that, we experience less pleasure, less

(19:53):
joy, less motivation in our life. We feel more emotionally
flat. It's like you're playing your favorite song, and
normally you would have this experience with it. You know, the joy, the
excitement. It's like the song is on, but the volume is just
turned down, right? It's just background music, and you don't get
that same experience. And a great read, if you're

(20:15):
interested in all of this, is Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lemke.
And that really breaks down a lot of this and how our
society really drives a lot of this
dysregulation in our dopamine systems. And that
in order to recalibrate, we have to have some time
where we're not engaging in those behaviors that really spike the

(20:37):
dopamine. And one more thing to think about in that is
that chronic stress also depletes our dopamine. So if we're in
chronic stress because of our developmental trauma or because of our lifestyle or
those cycles of overworking or relational stress, that
also is going to lead to that same depletion and eventually less
dopamine receptors and be in more.

(20:59):
Lead us to be more in a primed state for
developing an addictive relationship to something. It's
crucial to understand that trauma, especially during our formative years,
it can profoundly disrupt our brain's dopamine
system. And research indicates that individuals exposed to
chronic adversity may experience diminished capacity

(21:21):
to produce dopamine in response to stress,
impairing their ability to cope with challenging
situations. The dampened dopamine production not only affects
our mood and motivation, but also increases susceptibility to
mental health issues and addictive behaviors.
Essentially, when our natural reward system is compromised by

(21:42):
trauma, we may seek external substances or behaviors
to compensate for that deficit, perpetuating a cycle of
dependency and further dysregulation. And, Elizabeth,
it was so it really hit me when you said about your
mentor that you would start with the addiction that would kill you first. So
for me, it was food. Cannabis got me through a food addiction, believe it or

(22:04):
not, when most people kind of find that hard to believe, the connection of food
and cannabis. But then it was alcohol. And so it seems
natural that cannabis would be my final frontier. And what
I have learned recently is that cannabis has
a really masculine energy for me. And we know that
dopamine is the neurotransmitter that is dominant in the male nervous

(22:27):
system, whereas the female nervous system, that trans neurotransmitter, is
oxytocin, the connection driver. And so
having the connection for me that cannabis had a masculine energy
because it was keeping me in the doing, it was
keeping me in the action of work, in the action of
relationship, in the action of conversation, like it was a driver

(22:48):
for me. And so hearing these connections about
dysregulation, chronic stress, dysregulation from development,
weakening the dopamine system, it's like, wow, that just feels
like it's just a light bulb moment. I don't know if anybody else
listening can really relate to that experience, but
it was just a major stress relief for

(23:10):
me to work with cannabis or alcohol or whatever it was.
But I'm just gonna keep my focus personally on cannabis
today, since that is what is the vortex. I'm
living in trauma rewired right now, and I have questions
the word homeostasis so much on this podcast because the
homeostasis of my little system and development, it

(23:33):
was not. My system was
wired for stress and survival. So my
homeostasis points are high stress points,
not regulation points. And. And so I ju. I just find
that really interesting as a connection. Hey, guys, before we
dive deeper into this conversation, I want to take a moment to share something really

(23:56):
special. I've partnered Brooke to create a brand new offering, the
Neurosomatic Voice Activation course. This is a seven
week live experience of seven 90 minute sessions
with Elizabeth and Brooke where you'll learn to explore
how your voice can become a powerful tool for nervous system
regulation, emotional release, and authentic expression.

(24:18):
It's an incredible opportunity to experience how your own
voice can become a tool for regulation, expression, and
healing. Brooke's somatic voice work changed so much for
me personally. It helped me connect with my body, set
boundaries more clearly, and express emotions in a whole new way.
A fun, creative, and exciting way. Yeah, me too. And you'll

(24:40):
get access to guided vocal practices, neurosomatic tools, and
all of the replays. With lifetime access to everything. This work is
so playful, embodied, and of course, rooted in
neuroscience. It's about reconnecting to your voice as a pathway to
healing and wholeness. If your voice has ever felt
stuck, shut down, or shaped by perfectionism or

(25:02):
people pleasing, this course is for you, it's not about performing.
It's about coming home to yourself through your sound. We
start June 3rd. Go to brookwolf.com
trauma rewired and get 20% off the registration
price. So that is brookwolf b r O-O-K-E w o
l f e.com

(25:23):
traumarewired for 20% off. Thank you
so much, Jennifer, for just you mirroring the relationship
with cannabis to be more of a masculine energy. And I so
relate to that with just how different addictions of mine
manifested over the years. You know, when I was 15, I left
my childhood home and I was separated from my mother and my brother and

(25:45):
my sister, who I did not see, you know, for many, many years.
And this is when my relationship with
heroin just like took all like in a matter of six months. You
guys, it was so fast. I was so young. That is like
the immediate oxytocin overload, the
love and the connection of the mother that I was,

(26:07):
I was separated from. And then very shortly after
that, it was alcohol and I was living, you know, just with my
dad. And we had a really tumultuous relationship trying to figure out how to
exist with each other when we both had, you know, complex trauma. And just a
really, just came out of a really chaotic home environment in a
divorce situation. And it was so challenging. And I

(26:29):
realized too, when I recovered from my alcoholism, it
was so much of my relationships with men and the way that I
related in my solar plexus to this, this energy of control
and hyper productivity. And I would go into these cycles of
overworking and constantly overdoing. And then I would just like
binge drink and black out on the weekends. And then I'd go back to do

(26:52):
and just constantly work. And then just that constant high
and low and that intensity that, that our addiction sort of
perpetuates within our nervous system that's kind of mirroring our,
you know, for me, my more anxious, avoidant attachment style too,
of like all or nothing, black or white. It's what we
reach for really is a mirror for our inner environment and what it

(27:14):
is we're looking to integrate. And if we can pinpoint what
it is we need to integrate, then there's just so
much, so much healing there and so much relief.
Right, because trauma is wiring us to seek relief over
reward. And so it's not so much about like chasing
pleasure always, but it is about escaping pain. It's more

(27:36):
about escaping pain. And I don't know about you, but I was so
dissociated and numb. Like, I could not feel a sensation in my
body until, you know, the recent few years. I've been really deep
in somatic work. But you couldn't tell me where my left
toes were. Like, honestly, I. I was so disconnected from my body. I was
like, what does being in my body even mean? And it would

(27:57):
frustrate me when people tell me to just relax or calm.
And I lived in such a disassociated state,
whether that was through, you know, sympathetic activation and chronic
overwhelm or complete disassociation, shame and
shutdown. And that is what that dopamine reward
system sort of mirrored that highs, and then the crash. And that was

(28:20):
so familiar to my nervous system. And it
wasn't until I really started studying and understanding and training in the
neurobiology of addiction that I understood my nervous system was
seriously just doing what it could to survive and what it knew
and what it was so familiar. Like, mirrored from my childhood
experiences. Yes. That idea that

(28:42):
Jen has brought up on here many times, like, what homeostasis are we
returning to? Right. That chronic dysregulation
is sometimes the homeostatic set point that we are
developing with. And so we're. We have to really
intentionally train that skill of modulation. I think
this topic is so layered because we have the

(29:04):
chronic dysregulation. We have the interoceptive deficits and the inability to
feel and process our internal sensations. We have the dopamine
reward center. And then I'm so glad that you guys touched on
oxytocin, too, because I was thinking about that a lot
as I was preparing for this episode and the recent episode we had with
Veronica Rotman on the female nervous system and how

(29:25):
oxytocin is more of a driver for reward and behavior in
the female nervous system. And the really interesting thing about
oxytocin is it's both a hormone and a neurotransmitter.
And so as a neurotransmitter, it's produced in the
hypothalamus, and it's released to different brain regions
and, you know, creates that communication between our neurons.

(29:47):
And in that way, it's helping us to process in
the brain, regulating different emotional states and social
behaviors and social bonding. And as a hormone, it's secreted into
the bloodstream through the pituitary gland, and it influences
our body really broadly, like in. In preparation for
childbirth or lactation or the somatic

(30:09):
stress regulation in the body. Right. And both of these
systems for oxytocin are
modulating safety at that Neurological level,
especially social safety, and our capacity
to connect and co regulate with other people. It's often referred
to as the connection chemical. And so I think

(30:30):
understanding that and understanding the way that that also
motivates and influences behavior, especially
social patterns. Right. And we can look at all kinds of different
addictions here, love addiction, relational
patterns, and how oxytocin is also a huge
driver there. And the ways that we are disrupted in

(30:52):
that, that oxytocin system as well,
especially during development when our attachment needs
are not met. Like the situation that you were describing, Brooke, and
many of us with CPTs. Right. This is an attachment wound
at the root. And so there's a lot of
dysregulation there that we're seeking to modulate through substance. And

(31:14):
I'm so glad that Brooke brought up that all or nothing pattern because
that is so relatable to an addiction and
to relational stress. It's like when you were talking about the
pattern of like control overdrive shutdown,
control overdrive shutdown is just constant. And I want to
speak too about interoceptive deficits, because I have an

(31:37):
interoceptive deficit, but it's not because I can't feel anything. I have
high, high, high interoceptive awareness, which is
a deficit because I can feel everything in my body.
It's not. I wasn't using cannabis, which. Cannabis can be a really great
medicine for people who want to feel into their bodies. Right. Who
can't feel. But for me, I could already feel everything. And

(31:59):
that's the deficit. It's like, it's not accurate. Right. Whether your
deficit is high or low, we are going for
accuracy always. And so now it's about
retraining my system and getting into my body in a different
way and learning to orient actually with my external environment,
which is something that, you know, Brooke opened my eyes to, like, stop

(32:21):
shutting your eyes to meditate and go into your body. You don't need to
do that. And that was a really breakthrough for me, honestly.
Brooke, thank you so much for sharing about that. I have chills
because I remember that breakthrough moment. And I so
relate to that experience of just being hyper attuned and hyper
aware to the sensitivity in your body. Because, you know, I have both,

(32:43):
both sides, the black and the white. I'm either like, not. My body is so
disconnected. And now I realized, oh, I actually
was disassociated and disconnected because I'm actually so
sensitive and I'm actually so hyper aware of everything
my body's experiencing all the time. And I find this especially
true for people that have been on a healing journey for a while.

(33:05):
They really know what their body needs. They've had to go through a lot of
maybe health issues or chronic pain or autoimmune
issues. And they are hyper attuned to my
body needs this supplements or this food or this ritual that
sometimes there's an overwhelm with just
imagining connecting to your body because it's like, well, it needs this, it needs

(33:26):
this, that. Then we're taken out of the beingness of our
body and into a state of doing to, to solve this problem.
Because oftentimes we meet our body as this problem to be solved instead of
this mystery to be experienced. Right. Because the subconscious
inner world is, is, is a mystery. There's. There's so much
unknown and unseen seen, hidden wisdom and

(33:48):
building that trust and that safety is honestly key. And
doing that through co regulation, through external resourcing.
We have such a hyper individualist healing culture that's trying to always
go inward, always do things alone. And addiction is such an
isolating experience on its own that we're
already cutting off from the world and usually not making social

(34:10):
contact. And instead of reaching out to call a friend, we're
picking up the cannabis or taking a drink instead or whatever it is that you're
doing, which normally you would seek connection, but instead we're
seeking connection through the substance or seeking disconnection,
whatever it is. But ultimately we are, we're all
desiring that connection. We're biologically wired for it. And especially

(34:32):
as women for thousands of years we've been healing and coming together
in community and circle, you know, to pray, to celebrate,
to grieve, to bleed together, to have babies together.
And that is such a natural part of who we are. And so
reclaiming that, that community aspect is, is
essential for addiction recovery. Which I know we'll get into more

(34:54):
shortly. So. Yeah, I could not do this without the tools,
without NSI as the foundation and having tools. You brought this up earlier,
Elizabeth. Like all these layers and these. Without tools and without
support, I could not climb the mountain or my own. Yeah,
a hundred percent. And I just want to highlight, and I think Brooke,
what you were talking about, about connection and community and using substance to

(35:17):
find that connection and then also having it isolate us more is such an
important thing. But I want to jump back to what Jen was saying about the
interoceptive system and sometimes what that
looks like is being overwhelmed by the sensory of our
interceptive system. Because I do think there's so much
talk about the importance of interoceptive awareness

(35:39):
and feeling into our bodies, but especially when we think about
different types of neurodivergent identities, just the way
that different people's brains interpret sensations,
I really find that there is just as much of
people being. There's too much flooding of
information from the interoceptive system. There's not enough

(36:01):
regulation of that by the thalamus to the prefrontal cortex
about what is making it up to our conscious awareness. And there's also
interoceptive inaccuracy, too much threat associated to those
sensations. And so that can be
incredibly overwhelming for a system. And then
we need substance to blanket out those

(36:23):
sensations because it's too much. And then if I'm asking my
clients to keep dropping deeper and deeper into the body and become more
fixated, more hyper aware of those sensations, I'm also
furthering that, that, that dysregulation. Thank
you so much for taking the moment to explain that.
It's really important. And I think another important thing for us to

(36:45):
talk about is ACE scores, because we know there's a link between adverse
childhood experiences and addiction. Because Studies show that
80% of individuals with a substance use disorder report at
least one ACE score. And so we've talked on
here many times, we have higher ACE scores. And these early life
stressors, they don't just create emotional wounds. They alter

(37:07):
the architecture of our developing brains. Chronic
exposure to stress during critical development windows affect
the relationship between the limbic system, the prefrontal cortex,
and the enteroceptive system. It sensitizes the amygdala,
and it makes it more difficult to regulate emotion and
impulse control. So, in other words, the body

(37:29):
and brain adapt to survive, often wiring for
hypervigilance, emotional overwhelm, and an increased drive
to escape discomfort. And so, as a result, the nervous system
becomes primed to seek external sources of regulation
substances, addictive behaviors, or even relational
patterns. They can serve as quick fixes to temporarily

(37:50):
soothe an overactive stress response. But these
coping mechanisms are not chosen. They are adaptations to a
system that never learned how to feel safe in the long world. Addiction,
then, becomes the nervous system's attempt to find stability,
relief, and a sense of control. And you know, what we're really
talking about here is what we talk about so much on the podcast, which is

(38:12):
this. Our development is the waters that we're swimming in
as we're growing up. And that affects over and
over again. It's those continuous adaptations that are
happening all of the time that really shape, shape our brain
function, how our nervous system takes in sensory inputs,
how our brain interprets those sensory inputs, and then the outputs that we're

(38:34):
experiencing, it reorders our entire motivational
hierarchy and it patterns our body,
brain and nervous system to move through the world differently. And when
we have complex trauma or developmental trauma, we
are led into these states. We're driven
more by avoiding threat

(38:56):
than by making connection or experiencing
pleasure and trying to create that safety
all of the time. And something that I think is really important to touch
on is that when we take away these tools
that we have learned, keep us safe, help us with our
regulation, and we don't have other practices,

(39:17):
somatic practices, neurosomatic tools, different ways of
working with our body and our nervous system, when we haven't expanded our
capacity to be able to choose a new avenue to take
a different path, then we can really end up in a bad spot
where we're left with a lot of stress. There were many times
through my healing journey where I would try to cold turkey,

(39:39):
take away the thing. I would try to just stop binging, or I
just quit smoking cigarettes or whatever it
was. And the other protective outputs that my
system then had to rely on got ramped up really
intensely. I would have periods of insomnia, I would experience
a lot of chronic pain, I would get really bad migraines. Like, these are

(40:02):
all other ways that my system is like, if you aren't going
to have this and there's no other way to regulate and create
safety, then I'm going to start to produce some really strong protective
outputs that get you to pull back from the
world, decrease the amount of stimulus coming in, move
less, engage less, have less relational stress, have less

(40:23):
work stress because it's not safe and there's no other tool. So I
think what Jen was saying about you can't climb the mountain without
the tools. You have to find support and
practices and not just try to expect yourself to be able
to adapt really quickly to letting go of something
that's been serving you for a very long time. Wow. Yes.

(40:45):
This truly is everything. And what I see for so
many people and why they may get like three months, six
months, you know, free from their behavior or substance,
and then they go back to it. And it's this, this repetitive
cycle. Because this idea of resourcing
safety and resourcing support, nourishing

(41:07):
your nervous system over releasing is a
key to relapse prevention. And I get it.
Like, we so desperately want to let go. And there's such a strong healing
culture around letting go, letting go of what doesn't serve you,
releasing your trauma, releasing the emotions, letting it
go, liberating yourself. But we know

(41:29):
that we must build our capacity to let go.
And we are not going to let go of something until we have a
stable, secure sense of support and safety inside. And
there's a few really powerful tools specifically for addiction recovery
that I want to touch on. But I also want to note
too. It's like we cognitively know we need to let this thing go. And like

(41:51):
what if I'm going to tell you you can never drink water again? It's like
what happens in your body in that moment. It's like you can never do this
thing that has kept you alive and helped you survive for so many
years. And so it is gently and slowly showing your
body that not only do you get to survive,
you get to thrive. You get to feel safe, alive and

(42:12):
free. Like the opposite of addiction is
aliveness. It's authenticity, it's, it's expansion
and freedom. And cognitively we know we need to
let this thing go. And I know for so many people struggling with
addiction, they, they feel this, oh, I'm just self sabotaging, I'm
just this, I'm just ruining my life life. And there's that voice of shame.

(42:33):
But understanding it, there's no such thing as self sabotage. It is a
protective strategy and it's self preservation and that's what
we're dealing with here. And a few things that I find have really helped
people to resource. I mean the neurotools are everything,
somatic tools are everything. We talked about community
support and co regulation and whether that's

(42:55):
through a 12 step program, finding a community, a
women's or a men's circle, a counselor, something
structured, something that has some sort of like kind of
ritualistic nature, I find is really helpful in the beginning
because we often have a lot of attachment wounding. If we're having addiction and we
have fears of intimacy and connection. And so having something where it's like

(43:16):
I'm going in for an hour, I'm not required to talk to anyone, but I
can receive, I'm in the space, we're in a circle,
I'm getting support. And another key which
I mean Jennifer, you did it in the very beginning, like your, your
honesty, your courage to say this is what I'm going
through. I am recovering from a cannabis

(43:38):
dependency. Like getting honest, that just
liberates so much in your system, so much freedom, so
much authenticity. Because when you're met with
love and non judgment, it kind of re patterns that wounding
that we use the substance to sooth the first place.
And so yeah, I know this theme of addiction

(44:00):
sort of perpetuating a lot of it intensity that all or nothing, black
or white thinking. But another really important and nourishing
tool is gentleness. I know I've talked to both of you about this, we've talked
about this so much. Is like what would it be like to just
like live in a more blended state, kind of like more in the
middle where we kind of approach our healing

(44:22):
journey with the same like warrior woman archetype. And it's so
beautiful and it was probably necessary at one point
when we needed that intense quick change in the beginning.
But for that lasting, sustainable, long term,
thriving gentleness, how
simple can it be? Can you get to just live at ease, at

(44:44):
peace? So I want to emphasize, yes, somatic
tools and all these things and can you just go on a
walk or be in nature or cook some soup and these get to be
healing practices. It doesn't have to be these elaborate, intense,
complex things that we do to feel good every day. You can
feel good just as you are. And so sometimes

(45:07):
less is more for that long term
sustainable change. And the last thing I'll say about
that is the intensity that we're meeting our healing journey with
is oftentimes motivated by shame. And so when we learn
to source our motivation from love, from self, love, from
nourishment, I want to nourish my nervous system. I want to give my body

(45:29):
what she didn't get to have her whole life when it's met with
love. That every healing practice I do
is a pathway to more deeply love and care
for myself. It's a form of somatic reparenting,
of healing these attachment woundings and
from truly just, just giving your body what it didn't get to have. And

(45:51):
so for me, I feel like that's key that you could do all these certain
practices, but it's the energy that you're meeting it with.
So I think we should talk about shame because I think what Brooke
brought up was something that was so resonant. Like I understand shame.
Like shame is such a well worn path, it just comes. I
mean it is just coming up and coming up and coming up. And what I

(46:13):
realized that shame was one of my motivators. Shame
was a driver in my life. And so the cannabis being the
dampener and the shame being the driver, this is a very
dangerous cycle for being in. It's totally leading to
inauthenticity and the, the Idea of
being gentle. This is not something that I

(46:35):
have really understood. I can understand it cognitively,
but doing it and being it is like a whole new
exploration. And so the first four
or five days of cold turkey, I mean, I
cried from start to finish. I just wake up and cry and
go to bed crying. And when Elizabeth shared, when I shared that with Elizabeth, she

(46:56):
was like, I cried for two weeks when I quit drinking. So, like, it's
okay to do that and to feel this. And I reached out to
Brooke, just checking in and like, well, I did this today, but I can't
tell if I'm being productive or lazy. And her
response, Brooke's response was, give yourself some grace. Over
the next few weeks. It's natural to want to assess your nervous system

(47:18):
state, because I am always assessing myself. I am
always under my own microscope. So her wisdoms
here, I think are really relevant. It's natural to want to assess your
nervous system state, but the truth is you are removing a substance from your life
that has helping you regulate for years. You are going to
be dysregulated. Radical self compassion for

(47:40):
every part of you is the key code to your liberation. I know it's
not easy, but let it be simple. Lower the bar for
yourself and be gentle with your body. This is a very tender
time, one of the most challenging, changing, one of the most
life changing portals you are entering. And that
was. That was such a necessary text

(48:03):
for me to read, to receive those words about gentleness,
because shame, addiction, dissociation, like
these are. These are buddies, right? Like these are.
These guys are in cahoots with each other. Like the emotional repression
that precurses addiction. Like this is. These are all very
loud parts of my personal story, of all of our stories.

(48:25):
And so before a substance or a behavior can enter the
picture, there is self abandonment and dissociation. When emotions
are unsafe to feel and express the picture. I mean, especially
in early developmental environments where needs were
unmet or we were punished, the nervous system learns
to disconnect as a survival strategy. And so over time,

(48:48):
this internal fragmentation creates a void, a
chronic state of emotional absence that needs soothing.
And whew. I'm feeling tender even hearing my
own words right now and sitting with two sisters that hold my
space daily. And substances and addictive behaviors
become a way to fill that void, offering

(49:10):
momentary relief for a fleeting sense of aliveness. But
beneath every addiction is often a history of silenced
emotions and a body that has forgotten to feel safe within
itself. And so deep breath, because that
just. It really Hits me to hear those
words. It really hits me too. And I just

(49:32):
want to take a pause to, like, honor the
vulnerability that you're coming to this recording with, because
it is really big. Like, you guys are witnessing somebody
who created a lot of capacity in their
nervous system. And this is. It's a big
deal to be able to share on a big platform in real

(49:55):
time about what's happening. And
so I just. I honor that. And
I've shared on here many times before. I think that people used to tell
me all the time to be gentle with myself, and it literally
made me nauseous. Like, I would be like, you know, I would
have, like, a gag response to the thought of

(50:16):
gentleness. It creeped me out. It made my
skin crawl. I just hated it internally.
It felt very, very, very, very bad. And there was
something really linked with shame there, right? Like, that's also
how shame feels in my body. That feeling of, like, I want to rip off
my skin. I feel really heavy. I feel really uncomfortable. Be

(50:38):
gentle with yourself. Boom. Shame and
uncoupling. Some of that has been really big. And
I will say, Brooke, too, what you talked about, about how we
approach our healing practices and not going into it with that same
mindset of, like, I gotta do more, I gotta fix myself.
That driven by shame approach to healing is

(51:01):
so important. And for a long time in my
somatic journey, even when I was
aware of minimum effective dose
and seeing how my nervous system responded, I, like, couldn't
stop myself from wanting to push harder, go
deeper, feel more. And honestly,

(51:22):
one of the greatest gifts for me has
been working with you through my vocals for
a different experience of somatics that
is lighter and more playful and doesn't
create that nauseous, uncomfortable feeling in me. And
it's a way that I have learned to be able to express.

(51:44):
There's so much good stuff going on neurologically with my vocal cords and my
diaphragm and my vagus nerve, but it's not the same
heaviness as, like, dropping into the body
and feeling all of the things over and over again. It's a
really different experience. And since we have you here and that's such a
gift, I'd love for you to talk a little bit about how the voice

(52:06):
can be such a powerful somatic portal. Yes.
Thank you so much, Elizabeth, for weaving in the voice
here and Jennifer, for just, like, sharing that message
of gentleness and how my text message
supported you. That makes me so happy because sometimes I don't know what's coming through,
but it just does. And yeah, it's

(52:29):
such a privilege to. To journey with you both and be in the space
and yeah, I mean, the voice, Elizabeth, you named it, it's like
playful, it's fun, it's. That's why I love working with the
voice and creative expression because it just makes something
beautiful about everything you've been through. It just like hones the
humanness of your lived experience into something authentic and

(52:51):
soulful and beautiful. And it's
fun, it's playful, it doesn't have to be hard or heavy.
And the voice is an expression of the state of your nervous system. It
is a portal to your subconscious inner world. So it can reach
places that other things can't. And this can
be through somatic toning, vocal release,

(53:13):
sighing. It can be through singing, it could be through
songwriting. I mean, there's so many different ways that you can meet your
voice. Doing voice work doesn't mean you have to be a
singer or. Or be musical in any sense. Like there's.
There's so much conditioning that we can kind of strip away from that. But
working with your voice is working with a

(53:34):
medicine. It's a healing tool. It's an instrument of
authenticity, of reclamation, of liberation, of
calling every part of yourself back and giving a voice to the
parts that you have suppressed, that you have exiled, that have told they are
not safe to take up space, that they contract and constrict.
And it's through the voice that you either connect or constrict from

(53:56):
the world around you because it is an expression of the
social engagement system and that ventral vagal
frequency of safety, of connection, of belonging. And
people have been singing for thousands of years to pray, to heal over
each other, to grieve, to come into community and to pray on
the land. And that's what we've been doing. And for some reason,

(54:19):
you know, over the last couple hundred years, we've. It's become a tool for
performance and people pleasing and hyper productivity. But that's
not its nature. It's nature is to. To heal and
to remind us of our inherent
interconnectedness. It really has
been such a game changer to work with voice because when we're

(54:40):
talking about reaching places that other things
can't, and we're talking about shame and. And immobilization, right?
Shame is the immobilizer. But not like immobilizing like I can't
move my arms and I'm gonn out. We're talking about the immobilization
of the internal body. Right. The bracing, the
constriction, the pinched, impinged vagus nerve. Right. Like,

(55:02):
so our voice is actually the
conductor of mobilizing our internal
state. And that is huge. And when I reflect
on like my early life, I was someone who hated
my voice. I hated to hear my own voice. I remember having like
answering machines and I just, just was always so scared

(55:24):
to leave a voice note. And it wasn't until I started
mobilizing internally and even through this podcast.
Well, there was just like so much belief rewiring around voice that had
to, that had to change and rewire so that I could
be here, you know, for three seasons now. And
so I hear if you go back and listen to Old

(55:45):
Illuminated, when Elizabeth and I first started podcasting,
you will hear two different women
on that podcast. And it really speaks volumes to the shame
that we have released and worked through and how
much being in our vocals has
birthed another life for us. Right? Not just

(56:07):
in this podcast, but in educational spaces and then holding
spaces for others. It's a big deal to be able to
connect to your own voice and to not hate it. Right?
Cause that was self abandonment also, a hundred
percent. And the voice is such a reflection of
our nervous system state. And as I

(56:29):
witness those changes in you and me and you know, in
clients that I work with, you can really see new
patterning happening in the body reflected through the voice.
And one of the really cool things about working with the voice too is
it's so non cognitive, but it bleeds out into these
very practical places in my life. Like as I really started

(56:51):
working with my voice and doing that deep intrinsic mobilization
that comes with that, I suddenly was setting
boundaries in a very different way from a very different,
more embodied, more regulated space. I was able
to share more authentically. On this
podcast. I had some really difficult conversations.

(57:12):
And it wasn't like I went back and cognitively thought,
I'm going to do this differently. Let me make my strategy for this.
It was like in the moment, coming from my
body, the boundaries just came out. The way that I
navigated through relationships was different and my
world started to change in business, in personal

(57:34):
relationships, in relationship to myself, in my finances,
like in all of these avenues that I can really
root back to that work with the voice. And I'm really
excited because Brooke and I did a workshop together. We've been
pairing a lot of neurosomatic tools with her
incredible somatic voice work to make this really

(57:55):
beautiful blend of practices for this. And we did a workshop and it
was Amazing. The results were amazing. The
responses, the feedback. And so we have decided that we're going to
do a course, a seven week course combining
neurosomatics and somatic vocal practices.
And we would love for you all to join us.

(58:17):
Brooke, you want to tell people how they can find out about the corporate course?
Yeah, absolutely. They can just go to brookwolf.com
traumarewired and there will be a discount
code for everybody to sign up and look at what we have
going on. It's going to be an incredible journey. We're going to be going
through the seven chakras each week, the energetic mapping

(58:38):
system of the body, but we're going to be weaving in applied
neurology and vocal embodiment with that. So it
really is all about embodying the fullest expression of who you
are in a way that feels fun and playful
and really liberating. So I'm super excited to
be sharing this work. I mean, I've seen people come alive for the first

(59:01):
time and doing voice work. People that are chronically
disconnected, disassociated and a collapse, shame
response just come alive and expand in their whole
life and everything they do. Or women who are, you know, chronically
overwhelmed and in a state of panic, relax and be like, oh,
I feel safe. I'm home, here I am. And so, yeah,

(59:23):
the voice just amplifies and opens everything up. And we
have put just so much into this course. It's gonna be really
incredible and I would love for you guys to join us
and the link will be, I'm sure in the show notes. So it is a
really beautiful offering and, you know, just my only closing
thought is to let people know, like your voice, your tone,

(59:45):
that vibration. It is the medicine. It is the
medicine. So I do hope you'll join them.
Brookwolf.com trauma rewired and
just thank you both so much for holding this space with me and,
and sharing your reflections. It's. It's meaningful. And thank you
to the listener. Thank you, thank you.

(01:00:06):
This podcast is for informational and educators purposes
only and should not be considered medical or psychological advice.
We often discuss lived experiences through traumatic events
and sensitive topics that deal with complex developmental and
systemic trauma that may be unsettling for some listeners.
This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical

(01:00:28):
advice. If you are in the United States and you or someone you know
is struggling with their mental health and is in immediate danger, please call
911. For specific services relating to mental health,
please see the full disclaimer in the show notes.