Why Perfectionism Feels Like Survival for the Rejection-Sensitive Brain

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What if perfectionism isn’t ambition, but a nervous system reflex for survival? In this episode of Trauma Rewired, we’re joined by returning guest Piper Rose of ShadowPlay Coaching to explore perfectionism and rejection sensitivity through a neuroscience and trauma-informed lens.

We reframe perfectionism as a high-cost survival strategy rooted in complex trauma, societal conditioning, and early nervous system adaptations. Together, Elisabeth Kristof, Jennifer Wallace, and Piper unpack how perfectionistic behaviors can emerge as reflexive responses to rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), relational trauma, and the need for social safety.

You’ll learn the neurobiology of rejection, the health costs of chronic perfectionism, and how to shift from performance and people-pleasing into embodied wholeness. The episode offers practical tools and empowering frameworks for understanding the somatic roots of perfectionism and reclaiming your internal safety and authenticity.

This is a deeply validating conversation for anyone who’s ever felt like they had to earn love, approval, or belonging through being “perfect.”

Topics discussed in this episode:

• Why perfectionism is a survival response, not a personality trait

• How rejection sensitivity forms in the nervous system

• The difference between perfectionism and growth-oriented excellence

• Why our brains respond to social rejection like physical pain

• The “garden” metaphor for complex trauma and coping

• How societal systems reinforce performance-based self-worth

• Chronic illness and the cost of emotional suppression

• The link between self-sacrifice and autoimmune conditions

• Why the nervous system must be regulated before healing perfectionism

• How somatic work shifts self-rejection into self-acceptance

• The paradox of people-pleasing and codependency

• Reclaiming energy and creativity from high-resource coping mechanisms

Explore the Neurosomatic Intelligence Coaching program:

https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/

To learn more about Piper Rose and Shadow Play coaching, head to https://piperrosecoaching.com/ 

Connect with Piper on Instagram by heading to https://www.instagram.com/shadowplaycoaching/

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Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health a