April 2, 2025 • 57 mins
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Welcome to Season 3 of Unfamously Unwell! We're kicking things off with a bang as we dive into what might be our most chaotic episode yet.
Remember when Kaleb dabbled in witchcraft to help me land my dream job? The spell worked so well that I not only got the position but also scored a raise before even starting. We're talking candles, crystals, milk offerings, and magical aftershocks that apparently got me everything I asked for. Should I be worried about Kaleb's newfound powers? Probably.
The heart of this episode revolves around Kaleb's 27th birthday celebration in Portland—an absolute disaster that somehow still makes for an incredible story. Picture this: a friend fresh from the hospital with his medical bracelet still on, me with a back spasm so severe I needed a walking stick (which led everyone to think I was blind), and a night that included Hooter Girl costumes, friends getting cut off before ordering drinks, emotional breakdowns in Airbnb bedrooms, and hookups in teepee-themed rooms. It was meant to be a celebration but turned into what can only be described as beautiful chaos.
Between the laughs, we get vulnerable about turning 27—finding a sense of home after years on autopilot, making intentional decisions rather than just following a predetermined path, and dealing with that internal conflict between logical choices and gut feelings about where life should go next. Meanwhile, Kyle opens up about adjusting to his new job while fighting off that persistent imposter syndrome voice telling him he doesn't belong.
We've decided to shift to a bi-weekly release schedule for Season 3, so mark your calendars for new episodes every other week! Connect with us on Instagram @unfamouslyunwell or shoot us an email with your own stories—we'd love to feature them in upcoming episodes!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back everyone to Unfamously Unwell, the
podcast hosted by your twofavorite Seattle homosexuals on
a journey to higher health.
I love that opening.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
You're so energetic.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
It's probably because the Snuggie that you're wearing
yeah, I know the Mountain DewSnuggie.
You're drinking a Mountain Dewand I'm wearing a Mountain Dew
Snuggie.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It's the best gift you've ever given me, although
you did just give me a gift theother day.
What was?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
it's the best gift you ever ever given me, although
you did just give me a gift theother day.
What was it?
I give you good shit all thetime.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I can't name one thing, but I know I do mostly
because you just got your job,but we're gonna get into that
later.
Yeah, but no, you did give mesomething.
Oh, you bought me a littlepackage home the other day and I
let the candle had crystals init, oh yeah, were they real
crystals or were they like waxcrystals?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I haven't gotten to it yet.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Oh, okay, oh, that's like a touch them, they stick
out.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yeah, let me know, so I could touch them.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yeah, I also have that's like my fourth candle
that has crystals in it.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Okay, I have crystals on my counter next to my
candles, but none with crystalsin it.
You'll start healing.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I think I'm very confident.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Well, you are the expert in witchcraft, so what is
it supposed to do?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I think.
Do you think it's similar tolike recharging them like in the
moon?
If they're just sitting there,why are you?
Speaker 1 (01:18):
asking me You're the expert in witchcraft.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I did one spell Caleb .
Speaker 1 (01:21):
I did one spell, caleb, you got me my job.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
That's very fair.
That's very fair, which we dohave to get into that at some
point.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yeah, Caleb was dabbling in witchcraft while I
was unemployed.
And what was the spell?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Okay, so I remember doing this.
You need to have two candles.
I think, one was red and onewas green.
Yes, and one of them.
You had to draw arrows infacing towards the wick.
And the other one, you had toinscribe the name of the job
that you wanted, yes, or youremployer, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
But you also told me that like it had to be, like
last case resort, yeah, becauseyou put it off for like a month,
I think.
I mean, I offered it.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
And you were like no, there's still a couple jobs.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
And then you were like, can I I wanted to like,
know, until I was narrowed downto the like, the only one that I
really wanted, and then do thespell.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yes, so then we're setting it up.
You are using a needle to carveinto the candle.
I set up the alt cloth in yourbathroom.
I put all the differentcrystals on each side, like
Northeast, southwest.
Um, we get a bowl of milk.
Oh yeah, we had to make anoffering.
Yes, so we got a bowl of milkthat you put outside the front
(02:35):
door and then I left you aloneand you had to focus, yeah, like
, envision yourself, envisioninggetting this job.
And I didn't think anything ofit.
That was a Friday night.
You woke up on a Saturday Afteryou slept for like a million
hours.
You woke up to a voicemailsaying you got the job.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Yeah, like on a Saturday, like who does that?
Wild what recruiter calls youon a Saturday.
That was wild.
It was such a strong spell thatthe recruiter just like woke up
on a Saturday and was like I'mgoing to call this guy Do you
remember like even after Ifinished setting everything up,
I'm like this is going to work.
Absolutely, I knew it too.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
There was just this blind confidence.
I was like wait, this isactually going to work.
Yeah, and it did.
Yeah, the spell.
Yeah, it truly did.
Because then, also after you,like no, I have to wait for my
background check to come back.
So you did it again.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yes, well, they say you're supposed to keep burning
the candles until you have theoutcome that you desire.
And I got the recruiting call,but then I wanted the salary I
wanted and then I wanted mybackground check to go through.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
So I kept burning it until I got all the things and I
did, which is probably why I dobecause not long after you
started, or before you evenstarted, you got a call and you
got a raise.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Oh, yeah, like before , like either you just started,
or you hadn't even started yet.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
I hadn't even started yet.
My witchcraft spells are sopowerful.
There's like aftershocks ofmagic and then you told me that
I need to be responsible withRitzcraft.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Otherwise you could take over the world.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah, but that's a lot of effort, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
And a lot of commitment, but that's dabbling
for you it's like oops, I blewup the world Oopsies, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Y'all want to get some wine later.
The world's dead, but Well, Ihave plenty.
So this is.
I'm glad we started out talkingabout this, because I want
people to join my coven.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Okay, but I thought you were just dabbling.
Now you're a full on like covenleader, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Well, because the leader never does that much work
.
Okay, but I want to get likethe benefits of the power.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Is it like a sex cult , or oh no, okay, what's going
to happen in this cult?
In this cult, you?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
know what.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
What are the tenets and beliefs of your cult?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Because I only want revenge twinks in this cult.
Demon twinks, demon twinks,yeah, yeah.
Who can rage until 6 am andthen wake up and go to their
corporate job at 9 am?
Okay, those are the ones thatwill get the most done.
Can you do that?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
still, I, I think you can, I think you did when your
friend Clay was here last week.
Oh, yeah, every day, yeah,every day.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
And then that Sunday I slept for 15 hours Correct
Because my poor body, Because wedidn't go to bed until 5 am.
That first night he was here.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Yeah, and then I flew out to New York for work and,
speaking of Demon Twinks, myboss and I went to um moulin
rouge, the musical, and therewas this little like demon twink
on stage just causing all thismischief you loved him.
So I turned to my boss and Iwas like of course there's like
a demon twink causing mischiefat moulin rouge and, um, he
(05:39):
could not stop laughing and youloved that little twink, didn't
you?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
yeah, a little bit.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
The thing about you, kyle, is either like a I love a
short king, you do, or a reallytall.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Actually, you kind of love anything and everything
Because you're like is that a?
Really hot twink.
No, that's a lesbian.
Or you're into like a muscle,not daddy, but like a muscle,
thick-thighed, juicy man.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Or Talking about anyone in particular?
No, no.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
So, yeah, you're kind of all over the spectrum, but
demon twinks I could see youreally having a thing for.
Yeah, especially they have tobe short.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
You know, like some people like bad boys, I like
demon twinks Cast a spell on me,but they're not bad like
they're like low-key evil.
And that's why you like it yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Because it's different than being like a bad
boy, correct?
Oh, you're in a red light, ohwell.
Well, this demon twink justcast a spell on your entire
family.
Yeah, exactly, okay.
(06:47):
Anything else you want to shareabout your job?
Oh, I remember what else yougot me the Juicy Couture bag.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was from, yeah, New York
Market Week.
One of my suppliers is theywrap Juicy Couture.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Shut the fuck up.
Oh my God, I need anything andeverything to get your hands on.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
They have like little doggy, like chew toys and stuff
that are so cute, I'll takethem.
Oh, one of my vendors repsParis Hilton.
She has a line of like homeware.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Oh, I've seen this Like bedding and stuff.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
I've seen this.
It's kind of hideous but alsokind of amazing, like diamond
pillows, kyle wait, do you know?
Speaker 2 (07:30):
And like big throw pillows that say that's so hot
You're buying your home, right?
Imagine if they brought backlike 90s comforter sets Like the
moon, the like starry.
That would pop the fuck off forcollege people going into dorms
this fall.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
What Did you?
Is that what you brought tocollege?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
No, but like Moon sheets no, but.
That's for like children, Iknow that, but like people would
eat that up.
It's the same era as likepurple inflatable furniture.
That's 100% what's hot rightnow and it will be.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Mark my words.
Okay, mark Will be Mark mywords.
Okay, mark my words.
You were right about legs.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Legs are back.
Legs are in Surprise.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Mine was talking about being in the bathtub and
taking photos of your legs, butsemi-adjacent yeah but literally
Caleb, the day before I startmy job, just randomly turns to
me and goes I think legs aregoing to be really in this
season.
I thought he was fucking crazy.
Then I go to my first meetingat my first day at work and the
(08:31):
like VP who's at this meetinggoes.
I think legs are really backthis season.
I was like I don't even knowwhat that means.
What do you mean?
Legs are back.
They've always been there, notSusie Toots moms.
Well, apparently she meant likeleggings, tights, you know, I
don't know thigh high boots,what'd you say oh, oh, my god, a
(08:53):
thigh high boot.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
God, that's so back anyways, that's tangent.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah, what's our topic gonna be this?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
week.
So, reflecting back on lastseason thoughts, what come to
mind?
Did you hate it was the worstexperience of your life did?
Did you love it?
Do you feel indifferent aboutit?
Do you wish you were doing thisby yourself or with someone
else, like what's the tea?
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I feel like it's a great like time capsule of like
a moment in time of everythingthat was going on last year the
crazy shenanigans that we gotinto, my fun employment.
It's just like a crazy, youknow, transitional year.
It kind of all wrapped up intoa couple of fun episodes.
Okay, what?
(09:32):
What's your recap?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I reflection where we started you know, even back
when we were, there was three ofus to where we ended season two
very different.
I had no.
I like I would not have evenguessed that would it would have
gone there.
Um, I told you this earlier, Ithink it was in january.
I woke up one day and I waslike last season all it sounded
like on the podcast was I hatedmy job and I went through a
(09:59):
breakup.
That was my identity and so,yeah, it was a good time capsule
.
I think it it was good toreflect back of not letting
those things be my identity.
I had a larger thought but Icouldn't put into words what do
you think that this season'sgonna like?
Speaker 1 (10:14):
how are you gonna differentiate it from this
season?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
season three I think, although I still come home from
work some days just in theweeds burnout, not feeling it,
it happens less frequently.
And so I think I'm learning I'mnot there yet Learning how to
separate things and not letthings that are tough in my life
(10:39):
just boil over and kind of runinto every aspect.
So I feel like I'm learning howto keep that at work and be
able to hopefully show up betterthis season.
Maybe we'll see.
I think I will feel lighterthroughout the season.
I'll say that.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
That's my two cents.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
If you felt like Caleb felt heavy in the last
season and needed to lose acouple pounds, send us a message
on Instagram, or if I needed,to lose a couple pounds.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Send us a message on Instagram, or if I needed to
lose a podcast mate, actually nobecause we wouldn't be sitting
here.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Okay, so what I actually wanted to talk about
today was a couple weeks ago, itwas your birthday, and so we
celebrated, caleb.
We went to Portland, we tookthe train down.
And one I wanted to just likeshare some stories from that
weekend, um, cause they'rehilarious.
And two just wanted to like askyou some questions to reflect
(11:34):
on.
You know what it feels like tobe a year older.
Okay, okay, hit me, okay.
Well, first of all, story onewe get on the train to Portland
and your friend shows up with amedical wrist bracelet on.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
His hospital bracelet .
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Yeah, he's fresh out of the hospital and he what got
alcohol poisoning the nightbefore.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
No, he thought he was having a heart attack because
he had radiating arm pain andchest and back pain.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
He thought he was having a heart attack.
Yeah, okay, that's not what Itold.
Everyone else that I told thestory to, I said that he had
alcohol poisoning.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
No, you're thinking of the other hospitalization
that I took him to the ER for.
Oh yeah, but he had E coli then.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Still not alcohol poisoning.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
No, okay.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Well, everyone else that I told the story to.
The story goes like this heshows up with his medical
hospital bracelet and, fromhaving alcohol poisoning the
night before, and then proceedsto open up a fifth of Tito's
vodka and drink it directly withno mixer.
(12:46):
And then the guard comes overand is like um sir, sir, with
your medical bracelet on, youcannot drink alcohol of your own
on the train, and he had to putit away.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
So it started off really well yeah, and see,
there's parts of the story thatI'm like.
Oh, like that's just theirpersonality, but it is wild to a
lot of people, yeah and then sowe take the train down, the
same guard is sitting acrossfrom a different guard on the
train next to us while we'replaying cards.
I forgot about this.
We're going to get off.
(13:21):
The big burly like the rock,comes up to me and he's like hey
, my friend would kill me fordoing this, but he thinks you're
really cute.
Can I get your number for him?
And I don't remember what thislittle boy looks like, so, like
sure, I'll give him my Instagram.
Uh-huh.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
So give him my Instagram.
I don't really use my phonevery often, but here's my
instagram what's a phone youjust give?
Him the, the um.
I'm famously unwell instagram.
Oh, I did write down both.
Oh, you did.
No, I didn't.
I lied, I wanted to like showup for you just now.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
But I wasn't, I was like, but anyway.
So then I'm like, can'tremember what he looks like, he
messages me.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Oh, I feel so bad, I'm an asshole, I open it uh-huh
immediately unfollow but thenokay, everyone else you can
block in on this?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Well, because he's private and I'm not private,
nevermind, okay, but chime in onthis.
He has, wasn't it like almost4,000 posts.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Oh my God, Do you remember that he had like 4,000
posts With like 200 followers?
Speaker 2 (14:18):
I'm like what is this ?
Speaker 1 (14:19):
4,000 posts and it's like names and like random ass
things like it's his like words,like words of affirmation or
like weird little yeah sayingsor something I don't know which
could be cut.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
But it wasn't.
No, that was a demon, twink, Ithink.
I think it was a born againdemon.
Yeah, trying to get right withthe lord.
Yeah short little ginger demontwink re-baptized, so there's
two stories in one.
That was just the train ridedown.
That was just the train ridedown.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
So I should start by saying that on the train ride
down I had a back spasm orsomething and I was walking with
a cane like a walking stick,like a hiking pole, because I
could not stand upright, like Iwas not homo erectus.
I was Neanderthal, like nothunchback, but like I had D.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I had D evolved.
Yeah, those knees are kind ofbuckling.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Yeah, it's like I either have a crick in my neck
or I tweak my back orsomething's going on.
How did you tweak your back forthis?
How did I do that?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
It made you and Lindsay went out.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Oh, yeah, um, right after my back recovered from,
like the last time, we, yeah, goout and see a nineties 2000
cover band and, um, I waslifting up Caleb and our friend
Lindsay on the dance floor anddid it a couple, two times too
many Throughout his back, yeah,throughout my back, in the
morning, just could not get outof bed, could not move.
(15:52):
Yeah, and you took that walkingstick everywhere, girl.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Yeah, all over Portland.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
People thought that I was blind.
Which very friendly people inPortland If you're a blind
listener move to Portland.
Everyone was asking me if Ineeded assistance, if they could
help, if they could open doorsfor me, if I needed help getting
on or off the train.
It was great.
I also had dark glasses on, soI think people really thought
that I was blind.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
And so, yeah, the first night we stay in.
It wasn't that wild, but all Iwanted to do was watch Coyote
Ugly.
So after everyone went to bed,that's exactly what I did.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Well, one of your friends who I have hooked up
with before was there and I,like that night, set the
intention that I would not behooking up with him that weekend
because I had a cold and myback was broken.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
So that's just a foreshadowing for a story that's
later to come.
And not only that.
I think I reached out to hispublicist and let her know hey,
my client's not really lookingto fool around this weekend.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Just so you know, because you got my back.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Yes, but I was well the broken back.
Someone had to, so the firstnight it wasn't that wild.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Then we so.
So the first night it wasn'tthat wild we.
Then we go to bed.
The next day, yeah, we go tobrunch and I fucked up the uber
and I, instead of calling a uberxl, we called a regular uber,
and so we all didn't fit.
So caleb and I went on our ownto brunch and three other people
got into their own uber.
When they showed up they werelike pale as a ghost and we were
like what happened on your Uberfive minutes behind ours, and
(17:29):
they were like it was so hot.
So, hot and muggy in that Uberand he was like swerving around
and we just got so carsick andthey walk to sit down and I
could tell they're not going tomake it, None of them.
They ordered soda waters orsprites to help with their
(17:50):
stomach and our friend Lindsaymade it halfway through and then
had to Uber home and thenproceeded to call all of us
because she's feeling queasy andsick and she needs to throw up.
Your friend with the medicalbracelet on is supposed to be
home but is not home.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
He went to go hook up with someone.
They came back and the smartlock was dead.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
The batteries ran out on the smart lock, so she's
locked out of the house.
Throwing up, throwing up overthe balcony of the airbnb yeah,
it's not even noon, not evennoon no and so everyone.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Then we just kind of go around like shopping and
stuff.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Oh, no, no, no, we also go to mcminniman's yeah,
tell them about the mcminniman'spassport oh god, I feel like um
, you know, most of ourlisteners are in the seattle
area, so they need to know aboutthis.
Oh my god, you are.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yes, I am, which I need to go to more I kind of put
my passport away, so anyway.
So mcminnumens is thisrestaurant, experience, hotel,
bar chain of things.
It's in the pacific northwestonly and they have all locations
like the ones we went to.
Like there's hundreds, right, Iwould say maybe a hundred or
less, well, depending, becausethere's like some, like
(19:09):
individual bars, but like theone we went to in Bothell was an
old school that they convertedto a hotel, and then all these
little bars around it are allthemed differently.
They have concert venues.
We went to a movie at one.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Movie theater Hotel.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
They're all themed so differently and each place you
go they have a passport and eachplace has a page.
So the one in Bothell isAnderson School, so there's
multiple selections for all thelocations at that one Bothell
location and you get stamps inyour passport if you go to all
of them.
But some of them you have toorder a special drink, some of
(19:47):
them you have to do a riddle,you have to do a picture, you
have to do something to get thestamp and if you get all the
stamps at one location you get aprize.
But if you go to every singlelittle mcminniamins, all your
stamps are, all your passportpages are stamped, you can turn
it in and you get invited to theCosmic Tripster event where
only people who have completed apassport get to go to this
(20:09):
event.
This is my new identity.
Best thing that vampire everbrought into my life was
McMinimins.
He's the one who told me aboutit.
Oh, okay, didn't even suck myblood, but at least I got
McMinimins and it was amazingand the food not bad.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
So we went to three down there, we went to three
different McMenamins in Portlandin one day.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Yeah, because during the day we went from one to
another one.
That's where we met the lovelylady and we were playing
checkers.
We went to brunch at one, thatwasn't one.
We go to a place, another placeto get a drink.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
And then we went to another drink.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Yeah, and that's where we got the tots.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Yeah, the place to get a drink.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
And then we went to another drink, and that's where
we got the tots.
Yeah, the tots are good.
And then after that, I think weCajun season tots, I think.
We went to the underwear storewhere you got your shirt, and
then we went back and got ready.
And then we went to aMcMenamin's that night dressed
as Hooter Girls, correct, yeah.
So that was the day activities.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
And then we get into the evening and then we get into
the evening, yeah, which Ididn't think I was going to make
it with my broken back.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
But I got a second wind.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
My back was feeling a little bit better, my cold was
feeling a little bit better, butI was still walking around with
my cane or my walking stick.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, so we go to this McMinimins Again.
People are trashed already.
It is 7 or 8 pm, uh-huh.
One of our friends literallyjust sits down, goes to order a
drink and the waitress was likeI don't feel comfortable serving
you.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Just like walks in.
Where had you guys been Atanother?
Speaker 2 (21:38):
bar we had walked from.
Oh yeah, something like that.
Yeah, I think I was followingbecause y'all went to go get us
a seat or something we didn'tknow how busy and then I was
bringing them behind no, I satthere by myself for like 20
minutes because you guys saidthat you were going there and I
had to like wait oh, becausethen we stopped at the bar that
(21:59):
lindsey wanted to rememberbefore um, and then I got there
and then I was like where areyou guys?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
and you and you're like wow, this drink's really
good.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
It's gone.
We had left you sitting therefor a long time, but anyway.
So not only did she get cut off, she goes to laugh, hits her
fucking eye on the corner of achair, busts open her eye this
is also remember Drunk, cut offand has a black eye.
And then you're at the bar withour other friend that you have
(22:29):
hooked up with in the past andall he's in his defense, all
he's doing is doing a check-inwith you.
Yeah, but it was like, oh, areyou okay?
And then you came over to ourtable and you were like on a
scale of not okay to fuckingamazing, no, I'm not okay or
something like.
That is what you said I'm likekind of in the middle, no, but
the way you were dramatic to meand lindsey.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Yeah, because he kept asking me over and over again
are you okay, Are you okay, Areyou okay?
And I'm like I'm not going tobe okay if you keep asking me.
I'm fine and I'm lookingforward to having fun.
I'm just sitting here at thebar eating my tater tots.
So on a scale of absolutelyterrible to incredibly amazing,
I'd say I'm kind of in themiddle, sitting there at the bar
(23:07):
by yourself.
It seems like you're kind ofupset.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
I'm like oh my God, so you do storm away from over
there and you come to this table, you stay here.
Meanwhile, my other friend, thealcohol poisoning one, is in my
ear telling me that he might begetting a divorce after they
just got married and I was justlike like a month ago that's
when I think I finally looked atyou and I was like everyone
(23:31):
needs to shut the fuck up.
Everyone is main character andI'm pissed off.
I was so irritable literallybecause someone's at the bar
sharing so much emotion.
Someone's next to me telling meabout a divorce.
She's getting cut off, hittingher eye open, and this is still
dinner.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Uh huh, and you're like, when is it my turn?
Yeah, and anytime.
Anytime you tried to talksomeone, it would interrupt you.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
What do you want to do?
I would go to say something.
No, but fell on deaf ears.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
So I think after that do we go to a couple of you
kept asking like insightfulquestions that you wanted to,
like you know, startconversation with, and they
wouldn't go anywhere.
No, and so you were kind ofgetting pissed.
Oh, I was livid, yeah, but Ialso.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
My toxic trait is I am livid, but in my brain I'm
like no, I should just bethankful that they even showed
up.
No, no, no Anyway.
So I think we go to the barsafter that, and that's where the
fun gets even less.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
I had a great time.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Yes, you did yeah, and I love that and I will get
to you.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
It's not your night, yeah well, I could sense all
this drama and, you know,someone in the group was pissing
me off, so I just went off onmy own and just his walking
stick and his walking stick,yeah, people kept coming up to
me on the dance floor and askingme if I was blind and I'd say
like 50-50.
I was either yes or no.
Yeah, which it workedAbsolutely.
(25:00):
Someone came up to me and theywere like really muscly and they
thought I was blind and starteddancing with me.
So I just started like touchingall over his body and I was
like I'm blind.
So you know, I need to feel howattractive you are.
How many inches, sir?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
please let me see get out your willy, which so I feel
like we were there forever, butalso nothing happened.
At the same time, I feel likeall I kept trying to do is calm
multiple people down, becausethere were just emotions.
And then I convinced them tocome out to the dance floor and
then one of them would storm off.
I'm like okay.
And I was like let's go home,we're going to go home.
(25:38):
Great idea, Because muscle mandoesn't go home alone, he comes
back to our home.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Well, to my defense, we all called an Uber.
I called an Uber for you andeveryone else.
We're waiting outside and I geta message on Instagram from
Muscle Boy and he says that he'sin the parking lot across the
street and that I should comemeet him.
And you turn to me and saywhat's the license plate lot
across the street?
And that I should come meet himand you turn to me and say
(26:09):
what's the license plate numberon the Uber, we'll get in the
Uber, you should go meet up withhim.
And I didn't know what wasgoing on but I was like, okay,
sure, sounds good.
You guys got in the Uber and Iwent up and met with muscle boy
and um, but then he ended upjust driving me back to our
airbnb and so what happened?
Speaker 2 (26:29):
did you text me or did you let me know?
Because I I knew that you,because we had an interaction, I
was like, yeah, you can hook upin my room.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Yeah, you were.
When we got home you were onthe couch like oh, on instagram
or or whatever okay, and, andyou're like you should just go
into my room and hook up Withthe teepee.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Yeah, and then as soon as that happened, I knew
that I so.
Then I go into the othergroup's room to try to make sure
there's no crossover so youcould be protected with your
peace and your muscles and noeyesight Correct.
And Lord, why did I go in thatroom?
Oh what happened and again Ienjoy these people.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
What the fuck was that I do, but at the same time,
they piss me off this wholetrip, but I do enjoy them.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
So I don't want to be that hateful, but I'm in there,
there's tears flowing and I'mtrying to comfort One of them is
belligerently drunk.
One of them is alsobelligerently drunk.
One of them is alsobelligerently drunk, sharing
every emotion under the fuckingsun, crying.
I'm like semi-sober, sittinghere on the night of my birth
trip and I'm like the best.
(27:36):
No, because he wouldn't let metouch him.
I was like oh, I'm so sober,Don't touch me.
I don't like to be touched.
And then the other one would belike you know, like this is
really big for him.
He never shares emotions likethis with anyone.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
I don't want to be big.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
I don't want to be big the best thing of the trip
is that you got to hook up inthere, yeah, in the teepee room.
So I think on the train ridethe next day I'm pretty sure
everyone didn't speak, yeah andthere was a two hour delay the
train was delayed for two hours.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
we had to sit in the Portland train station for two
hours just waiting.
We were all just sitting on thefloor, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Anyways, what a great birthday it was because I did
do my birth week of self-careactivities.
I got Botox for the first time,yep Massage for the first time,
pedicure, pedicure.
I took off an entire week of mybirthday, didn't and stayed
here, the week before portlandbest idea I've ever had.
Yeah, and you were still notemployed then, so it was lovely.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Yeah, I got to do everything yeah I yeah, I took
you to get botox for the firsttime.
I took you to red robin for thefirst time oh yeah, we did do
that, didn't we whiskey riverchicken wrap.
Oh, man I got an avocado saladAvocado.
Oh, is that what it's called?
Yeah, that's clever, I know.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Okay, that's about all my birthday trip.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Well, what does it feel like to be 27,?
Right?
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Yeah, oh God, I've gone through it.
I've come to you about like oh,this is how I feel about being
27,.
At least three or four timessince.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Yeah, kind of all over the place.
It is Keep track.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Because I think that this year I've had, I think I've
reflected the most you knowback on my life that I have in a
long time, because literally mylife was so fast paced, like
high school, then you go tocollege, which is always chaotic
, then I became a nurse soonerthan the pandemic happened, so
(29:31):
it was like an auto drive justcrazy life.
And then I moved to Cleveland,ohio, with a man who started
travel nursing move here as atravel nurse I'm traveling all
the time and I think this pastyear was like the first year.
That was like settled andtrying to create home, but then
I also had no aspects of home.
And so it just really hit mereally hard.
(29:52):
So I think reflecting for 27 ismy goal, and intention is to
find that home and like in thatcommunity, whether it be here or
moving or something like that.
I think that that's myintention.
My goal is to make long-term,solidified, great connections
with people and a lot ofgrounding, whether it be in the
(30:16):
activities I'm doing, lesschaotic, less unwell, because,
fuck, last year I showedsomebody.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Don't give up on that that's the entertainment that's
our viewership, hi so, yeah,that's my.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
I think that's my goal and intention.
I think it sums up a lot of allthe emotions I've shared with
you.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah yeah, it seems like you're.
I like I remember being 27 andI feel like up to you know a
certain everything is plannedout for you.
You go to college, you get yourdegree, you start a job and it
almost is like autopilot.
You don't have to make anydecisions.
(30:55):
But then you get to this pointin your life and you get to
start deciding what your futureis going to look like outside of
all of that, and there's noroadmap for it.
It can be really stressful ifyou are struggling to figure out
what your community is or whatyou want your future to look
like, and so it's important totake time and really figure out.
(31:19):
What do I want my next year tolook like?
What do I want five years fromnow to look like?
What do I want future Caleb tothank me for later?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
You know, lack of wrinkles.
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
Yeah, that's really true, and Ithink that's a better way of
summer.
Summarizing what I said, likefeeling like I'm just going,
going, going until this is thefirst year.
I felt like I get to decide andset the intention of what's
going to happen.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Yeah, but you can like either choose to like set
down roots and solidify therelationship that you do have or
you know, I don't know get alittle more settled in where you
are now.
Or you can like choose to likeblow it up and move on and do
something new, and do you feellike you're being drawn to like
(32:09):
one way or another?
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Instinctually, yes, but that's I'm having a lot of
internal conflicts about it,cause I've come to you multiple
times.
I'm like I just need to move, Ijust want to uproot my life.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
And then, what is the instinctual part that the move.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Oh, okay, which, and so, and then I think the way the
reason there's so much internalconflict is because I'm like,
with all this weight of like, oh, I need to know and plan ahead
for my future and like, makeintentional decisions.
Now that's like arguing withthe instinct because it's like,
okay, well, you need to think oflike do you want to go back to
(32:48):
school?
Where's the best pricing forthat?
Do you, what do you want to dofor job?
Where do you even want to move?
Like all these things.
But I've never made a decisionbased solely on a logic and I
feel like, since I'm no longerin the autopilot, I've almost
feel the pressure to make alogical decision, but it doesn't
feel correct.
And so, like you know, I movedto Seattle, never had lived here
(33:10):
.
I'm like, in my gut that feltright, and so I think I'm just
trying to give myself grace oflike I will know when I know,
and trying to like, yeah, think,overthink.
It only makes like thein-between worse.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Yeah Well, it's hard to see the forest through the
trees, it's what they say.
So I think your gut hasn'treally led you astray, you know
thus far, and so I would justlean into that, yeah, healthy
choices for 2025.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Yeah, for 2025, what's your goal?
Are you going to go?
Are you going to start workingout?
I saw your stretching mat out.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Yeah, um, I did a three day juice cleanse cleanse,
oh my god all I drank was juice.
For three days I I came homefrom the holidays with my
parents juicer and a thrown outback, correct, yep?
So after caleb's birthday Ijuiced, was it after it was?
Speaker 2 (34:03):
before because remember we went out, I think
for tristan's birthday thing.
We went out with Nick and herand that woman said I remember
when I had an eating disorderbecause you were on a juice
cleanse.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Because I was on a juice cleanse, I did have a
mocktail and you had some sipsof wine.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
So, but I don't know, you literally go to a Mexican
restaurant and you didn't.
Well, you did have a chip.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
No, um, I think I tasted the salsa yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
And I had a, I had a couple um zero Coronas or
whatever.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
You were so strong Like NA.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Coronas, they were really good.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
You were so strong for that Cause, like they
Tristan and Nick were both likecome on, you should eat.
I'm like leave him alone.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
He eat.
I'm like, leave him alone.
He doesn't want to.
Yeah, it actually wasn't thathard for three days.
You can do anything for threedays, god, to have your will.
Put me in prison, beat me, I'mdamn okay, put me in the bottom
of a hole.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
Is that kind of what the juice cleanse felt like
being in prison at the bottom ofa hole?
Speaker 1 (35:00):
well that.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
But you have the most energy.
You've had a lot of tv videogames, distracting myself from
food because you're also stillunemployed, correct, yeah, and
you don't even have food to lookforward to.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
No but I did love my juice I really did.
Every day I wake up and I waslike, wow, I get to eat, like
drink this celery juice, andit's so good, and now you
haven't stopped doing it, I know, but I have started eating.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Yeah, I know but you still you haven't stopped ju it.
I know, but I have startedeating, yeah, I know, but you
haven't stopped juicing.
Like every once in a while,like probably, like every like
10 days or so.
You're like time to juice.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Because I make like 10, you know, at a time.
So I have like one everymorning now.
But when I was doing mythree-day juice cleanse, I had
like a celery juice in themorning, a carrot juice in the
afternoon.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
With the ginger, it was good yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
And then I did like a beet juice one, a green juice
one, anyways, and probably likea lemon ginger something.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
So the people want to know what was your stool like
during this cleanse.
I don't think I pooped.
Well, you do take all the fiberout.
Yeah, there's not a lot ofpooping going on.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Did you piss?
Speaker 2 (36:04):
a lot.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Was it a different color?
Speaker 2 (36:09):
did it smell differently?
No, actually going to mountduge's cleanse yeah, but I did
lose five pounds.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
You did.
That wasn't like the the goal,but I did really feel like my
face like really slimmed out.
And we also did dry january,that too I think think that
helped.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Wow, You're really starting off this year.
You got a new job, bought aGucci necklace, did dry.
January went on a juice cleanse.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Yeah, I did dry January until like the 28th or
something.
But then I had that baby showerin Santa Barbara and I had a
beer and I went to a moviepremiere for the movie Companion
with Dennis Quaid's son.
What's his name?
Jack Jack Quaid.
Yeah, I had a big crush onDennis Quaid growing up because
(36:53):
he was in Parent Trap withLindsay Lohan.
But, yeah, I had a healthy start, but then I threw out my back,
and so now I need to get back onthe workout train, or at least
let's go on walks or something,especially with the weather,
because it's getting nice out,yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
But see, I don't want to walk on the street, I want
to.
There's so many differentlittle lake beach front areas we
should just go walk at.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
I agree.
Should we get a dog too?
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Oh, absolutely not, we could go walk the dog, you
don't want to take the one thatwe already have?
No, no, we can get a littlelike a little chihuahua or one
of those like toy dogs.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
You just taking it to work would be so kind, yeah,
especially if it was likementally disabled and it had you
know tongue stick out like asenior dog.
Yeah, and maybe like couldn'tmove its hind legs but then it
had like wheels.
I would love that.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Kyle, that's so your identity.
I know you would mother that tofucking health.
Yeah, by the time you're donewith it.
It's walking, it's runningabsolutely.
The wheels just break off, it'slike Forrest Gump.
It's like Forrest Gump, whenhe's running you're like that's
my baby.
Yeah, go, yeah, go, baby, yeah.
And then he gets in my car.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
I'm like all right.
Well, on to the next one.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
I can't fix them all.
I guess I'll get a boyfriendnow.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
That was funny, that was good.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Okay, are we done talking about healthy, because I
do want to talk about somethingbefore we get into victory
advice.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Okay, this feels very full circle.
Ariana grande released heralbum last year.
That people there was mixedreviews about kyle and I were
fans.
We were going through a breakup,though, but we ate it up.
A year later, she's releasedthe deluxe.
It is phenomenal, and I haven'tbeen this jazzed about an album
(38:50):
.
How many new songs are there?
Five, because you said four andI was like, no there's.
Because there's four memories,I was like, oh, there is a fifth
one, or maybe there's six,because the interlude he's
talking about the music video ohmy god, it's a short film.
26 minutes, yeah, and it'sphenomenal, but the songs.
I haven't been this excitedabout a cohesive entire album in
a long time.
(39:10):
Like jess glenn, you know hervery first album love all of it
damon lovato, tell me you loveme.
Era dangerous woman.
Like where you love every songon there.
But this shows a different sideof our underground day.
That she's so musicallycreative, storytelling, acting
and it's like gets a pointacross without coming across as
(39:35):
hateful, like cause you know shepreviously had a song is like I
would love to see me from yourpoint of view, and in this song
she was like I'd much rather die.
I'd rather be seen alive thandie in your point of view, or
something like that.
So like being yourself, likeyou know, because she broke up
with that man to get with thisother man.
Yeah, it ruined my reputation,people were talking shit, but
I'd much rather live my lifeauthentically than to stay in
(39:57):
that box.
Just so beautifully writtenlove her.
You're not as jazzed about it.
I haven't listened to it yet,pardon me.
Doesn't think she's going toget a Grammy for it.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
No.
Okay, then you want to talkabout your queens she didn't get
a Grammy for the original,she's not going to get a Grammy
for the extended version.
I don't know.
These songs are pretty good.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
No, you know what she could get.
Isn't it an Emmy for, like themusic video?
What is that Emmy?
I don't think if it's onYouTube you can get a word for
it.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Oh no, it has to be on like primetime to get an Emmy
.
That is primetimed Nope.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Okay, we'll talk about your queen releasing her
album.
Gaga Slay Abba, Kadabba Boots,House Down Slay Queen, Queen,
Queen, Queen, Queen, Queen.
Tickets go on presale tomorrow,right.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Queen, queen, queen, queen, cut, cut the tickets go
on presale tomorrow, right, noTuesday, the day after tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
And our fake ass fucking friends.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
What.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
They got tickets because they know someone who
works there.
You're in the group chat, sothey did.
Yeah, works where At ClimatePledge?
Speaker 1 (40:59):
Did we get any tickets?
Speaker 2 (41:01):
No no.
That's fucked up and after wewere like oh, we have verizon,
we will try to get y'all some wehave verizon too no, we have
verizon, you and I, they don't.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
So we were like oh, we have and they didn't say like
, oh, can I get four?
Speaker 2 (41:15):
no, they got four, but none for us.
You're not.
You're literally in the chat.
It's on instagram, is that how?
Speaker 1 (41:19):
low tier.
We are with them, yeah, andthen, immediately after, invite
us to his birthday I'm not going.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
The goodie bag better be a Gaga ticket.
Yeah, no, yeah, because he saidthey already got tickets,
because, remember, he posted isgoing to Lady Gaga on Facebook
and I said someone's a littleconfident.
They're like oh, lol, weactually already did get tickets
and I said you're joking, no.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
But then he says yes, we're going to try to attend
the other pre-sales and try tobuy whatever we can to help
friends, so not even just us.
Yeah, fake, we're going to getin the ga pit and I'm going to
elbow my way in front of them.
Her album is insane.
I cannot wait to see her.
And, um, my favorite song ishow bad do you want me?
I play it every morning.
I'm sorry if you're sick of itand you keep listening to do
what you want with my body.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
Play it every morning .
I'm sorry if you're sick of itand you keep listening to Do
what you Want With my Body too.
I heard you listening to it theother morning.
Oh, kyle is a liar here, goahead.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Oh, it came on shuffle oh.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
I thought you were intentionally doing it, Because
to me they coincide.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
They do a little bit.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
But she's just giving this dark pop era vibe that
like everyone all of her, likeOG fans have been waiting for.
And it's kind of like you know,the album's called mayhem and I
feel like it takes you on thislike mayhem ask journey where
you never really know what kindof song is going to come next,
cause there's you end up withdie with a smile.
(42:41):
Yeah, there's like a bunch ofdifferent genres in there, but
also a lot of um, just like popbangers and like clever lyrics
and just like great bops leftand right so I saw that's like
was her intention.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Whenever she did press about it she was like it's
controlled chaos.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
But mostly chaos, but there's a vision genius.
Okay, let's get into victoryand vice.
Okay, you go first.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
Great.
I think I want to start with myvictory.
It's a cold day in hell,because I finally went to the
dentist.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Oh my god, you finally did it.
This has been like months andmonths and months of me trying
to get you to go.
How did it go?
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Again whenever you're in the thick of life.
It wasn't bringing me joy.
I wasn't able to think aboutfuture, caleb, so I finally made
the remember.
I was sitting down at the tablethat night.
I was like exploring all myhealth benefits and I booked
that appointment.
I booked therapy, everything.
It was so easy.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
So I went on Thursday , friday, thursday, and I have
to get a crown.
Apparently they only doporcelain crowns and I don't
know what kind of if what dentalinsurance is good or not.
I've dealt to dental.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
I have to pay $1,200, after insurance, for this crown
on Monday.
That's not good, not only that,but the dentist was.
She was lovely, she brought mea rose, what and I was like quit
farting.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
Was it Mother's Day?
Speaker 2 (44:06):
It was white rose.
That means friendly right, oris that death?
That's yellow, what's?
Speaker 1 (44:10):
yellow what's?
Speaker 2 (44:11):
white Morning condolences.
I think so.
Yeah, for my teeth, for mypocketbook.
So while they're doing thex-rays, and they put that like
lead vest on you and he goestake it off, I was like, can you
leave it on?
So, cause it felt like a way toblanket.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
I was nervous as fuck .
Speaker 2 (44:28):
And then, after what I'm going to like book for my
crown, and then I have to booksomething else, um, to get fixed
too, and she was, like you werequite a bit nervous Do you want
us to prescribe you a sedativefor when you come back?
I was like, say that I've notprescribed that Okay, fine.
I took something to calm mynerves before.
(44:51):
Yes.
And I was still nervous.
So apparently this is strongerthan Xanax.
It's an old-school drug andI'll forget the name of it
Propanol.
No, that's a beta blocker.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
I don't know, I'm just throwing out words.
Oh, halcyon, it's a benzo,halcyon, it's a benzo.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Yeah, so halcyon is the medicine and apparently it
treats insomnia.
But she said I'll like itbecause it has an amnesia effect
.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
So you won't remember .
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Correct.
Okay, so that's my victory.
I finally went to the dentist.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
I am spending a lot of money on that and more money
to be spent and my vice continue.
Oh, my victory.
My victory was that I'm notunemployed anymore and I got
this job that I've wanted forprobably the last decade and I'm
very excited about it.
And the house is benefitingfrom it, because I'm getting
lots of samples of Mountain DewSnuggies.
(45:49):
My vice is a little tricky.
How do I explain it?
Speaker 2 (45:59):
I love a puzzle.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
Yeah, and it's kind of tied to my victory because
I'm in this new role back at acompany that I used to work for.
Um, you know, I left thatcompany to get into the wine
business.
Um, I did that wine thing for acouple of years got, became a
level two, level two, somalia,and, you know, worked for a
(46:22):
master sommelier, ran a Frenchwine import company, and now I'm
back.
How do I explain it?
I'm following.
This inner saboteur is kind ofcoming out at my new job.
Maybe it's just that I'm acouple weeks in, but even though
(46:43):
I'm very qualified and I knowthat I can do this job, like
with my eyes closed, it feelslike some voice inside my head
is telling me that I don'tbelong there or I don't deserve
to be at this, like you know,higher level, or that I'm.
You know I'm going to make amistake, or you know, or it's
(47:03):
all going to fall out from underme.
And so that little voice hasbeen like causing me a lot of
stress, but it has gottenquieter over the last couple of
weeks, so hopefully it continuesto get quieter until it's gone.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
What if your sister said all of that about a job?
What would you tell?
Speaker 1 (47:20):
her.
I guess I would ask her to giveme examples of the kind of work
that she's done that has shown,like proved to her, that she's
capable of doing the work thatshe's doing now.
Okay, so give me examples likeand crushed it, with my current
(47:52):
manager as my boss and now I'mdoing his job and he's a level
above me, so really it's justlike getting back into the same
dynamics.
And the one thing that I reallyenjoy working with with this
person and this kind of tiesback to our general theme of gay
wellness is it is reallyimportant for gay people to have
mentors that accept them andvalue them for who they are and
(48:14):
the voice that they bring, evenif that voice is different than
the rest of the company.
And I think he really taught methat, as a gay man himself, that
you can be loud and proud as agay person and you can use, you
know gay terminology and youdon't have to like fit into the
(48:40):
like corporate voice thateveryone else uses and you can
stand out and still be valuedand you don't have to hide who
you are.
And that's like a huge part ofwhy I chose to take this job was
because I knew I was going backto work with someone that was
(49:03):
going to value me and my voiceand the way that I present and
what I stand for as like aindividual and also like what I
can bring to the company, and sothat's kind of what I am like
holding on to, is just likeknowing that this person, really
(49:25):
, you know, taught me that I canjust be myself and show up and
that's enough.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
And not just accept you but celebrate you.
I'm glad that you shared that,because I think I would not have
guessed that, knowing you, thatyou were feeling that way.
Yeah, I'm good at hiding it,correct.
Speaker 1 (49:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
But thank you for sharing that because I also
think it brings up a good youknow, acknowledges the way
people feel, but also brings upa great conversation about like
using gay lingo in theprofessional work setting right,
it's not unprofessional right,like I will be.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
like.
We sold a million dollars inthis item Slay and everyone just
laughs.
But I was afraid to do that fora long time to just be myself.
And I don't think that that'sfair and it really does keep
(50:24):
people back from excelling attheir work.
When they show up and they feellike they can't just be
themselves, they have to fit in,they have to use, you know, the
corporate lingo and I wouldlove to hear from, like any of
our listeners who haveexperienced that before um, or
give examples of you know,moments that they've felt that
way or moments that they feltlike celebrated at work for
(50:45):
being different, because I thinkthe world needs more of it.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
You need to work in, live, laugh, love that at work,
I use that a lot.
Okay, I use work a lot.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
Slay At work.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
Yeah, but it's like work, like you need to come up
with, like a fun, like emailsign off, like.
Speaker 1 (51:01):
Mine is.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
Sesse you slayed or Sesse you slayed S-A-U, slade or
S-A-U.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Slade yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
Boots comma.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
Kyle Webber.
I am in the home department, soSlay house down boots.
I've been telling everyone that, yeah, love that.
Okay, Okay what's your vice ofthe week?
Speaker 2 (51:20):
Could you believe that my vice again kind of as a
consequence of my own action,but I didn't cause it to happen,
Okay, so it's a double whammy.
I don't want to talk about theone of them that much.
So we got into the pickleballleague.
We lost all the playoffs in thefirst round, but we dig into
next league.
Speaker 1 (51:39):
But we were ranked like number three.
Speaker 2 (51:41):
Yeah, Okay, yeah, I'm still upset about it.
We should have beat them.
But we're going to get them.
We're going to get them nextseason.
But I parked near the communitycenter, as you would.
I got there a little early.
There was no spots in thegarage.
We lose Kyle's like officejobby to my car.
I'm like no, I'm going to walkbecause I'm kind of pissed that
we lost.
I get all the way home.
(52:03):
Pull in the garage.
Look over at my passengerwindow.
Guess what's fucking cracked.
Speaker 1 (52:09):
The passenger window.
Speaker 2 (52:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
You didn't really bury the lead on that one.
I wasn't trying to.
Speaker 2 (52:16):
I was dramatizing it you don't have to guess, you
just said it Guess, guess, guessguess.
I'm pretty sure that's my thirdpassenger window since I
fucking moved here and theynever bash it in, thank God.
But it looks like someone tookthe edge or the butt of a
fucking flashlight and crackedit twice, or a gun Like the butt
of a gun.
Speaker 1 (52:33):
Pew pew yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
Right, and it's thank God I never got it.
If I contended so, then myinsurance, which is a whole
other story, got dropped.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
Tell them how much you pay for insurance.
For your car insurance you pay,how much a month.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
So when I moved here I paid it was still a lot.
But remember I was 24 when Imoved here and then all of these
things kept happening.
I think I paid like $170 amonth full coverage when I moved
here.
Since then my back window'sbeen broken.
My passenger window's beenbroken three times.
Someone kicked in my bumperLast month.
(53:06):
I go to get on Farmers to paymy insurance A few days before
it's due canceled.
My policy didn't tell me.
So then I go like fuck, I haveto get insurance.
I'm like I'm not going back tothem.
I call all these otherinsurances.
They won't take me because Iwas uninsured.
There's a lapse in insurance bya few days since they dropped
(53:28):
me.
So I have to go back to farmers.
Not only do they reinstate mypolicy, they charge me more
because they say oh well, thepolicy that you signed up for in
october, you know the themarket price adjusted, so now I
pay 550550 a month.
That's more than my car payment.
(53:51):
And they all remember the fiascoof the fall about car insurance
that I went through, so to bereliving it.
So now I have to pay for thisfucking window out of pocket
because I'm not following thaton my insurance.
I'm half tempted to order thewindow from Amazon and figure it
out myself.
That would be a good littleproject for you, and I'm it's
like one of those approachable,like gently cocky about, like I
(54:12):
could do that.
Speaker 1 (54:12):
Yeah, you could.
Speaker 2 (54:14):
But I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (54:14):
You have to take the door apart, though.
Ah, what if you lose the?
Speaker 2 (54:18):
screw.
Imagine if I lose dopamine.
That car's dead to me.
Speaker 1 (54:23):
I don't have a door now.
I'm just driving without it youdon't have to take the inside
door.
I know you don't have to takethe whole door off, but you know
me If I lost over me mid doingit.
Speaker 2 (54:31):
the panel would sit in the trunk and I would drive
it with no panel.
Yep.
Speaker 1 (54:34):
Yeah, so, yeah, that's my advice.
So someone broke your windowand you can't use insurance.
550 a month, can you imagine ifyou made a claim and it goes up
to like 600?
Speaker 2 (54:47):
and it's what even sucks even more is because in
seattle I would try to learnpublic transportation if I had.
No, I wouldn't, no, I wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (54:54):
I was about to lie, but I was like I would have to
drive for work, but like thecrazy part is that I've I moved
here with a car and I have a carnow and I've never had an issue
with anyone breaking into mycar, damaging my car, anything
that has required an insuranceclaim in 10 years.
Speaker 2 (55:15):
You better knock on fucking wood.
For the longest time I thoughtit's because I had my Tennessee
license plate.
But this is the first incidentthat has happened since I
haven't had my Tennessee.
But then, even when I had mywork car, someone busted the
first one I had, and thensomeone sideswiped my mirror on
the work car after I had it noteven a week.
Speaker 1 (55:34):
Yeah, that's wild.
Speaker 2 (55:38):
So that's growth.
I'm getting in no car accidentsthis year.
That's my healthiest goal isfor 2025.
Speaker 1 (55:45):
Great Any other things you want to share?
No, I think it's time to signoff.
Speaker 2 (55:49):
Season three bitches.
Oh, just we should give alittle insight.
Speaker 1 (55:52):
We are not releasing weekly oh yeah, we're going to
do an every other week format,so stay tuned for two weeks from
today and you'll be getting ournext episode of Unfamously
Unwell.
Okay, you'll be getting ournext episode of unfamously
unwell, okay.
So we will see you back here intwo weeks in the studio.
Live in the studio with our umsnuggies, and you guys should
(56:15):
follow us on Instagram atunfamously unwell.
If you have stories to share ofyour own, or victory and vices,
then email us at unfamouslyunwell at gmailcom.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
And also any suggestions or any topics you
want us to cover.
Speaker 1 (56:28):
Absolutely.
Yeah, we definitely want tohear from you guys, and until
next week, we wish you well.
Speaker 2 (56:36):
Happy birthday, bitches.
Speaker 1 (56:39):
That was cute.
Thanks for listening to anotherepisode of Unfamously Unwell,
the unrated podcast hosted byyour two favorite Seattle
homosexuals on a journey tohigher health.
Listen each week as we deepdive into a new topic and give
you all the dirty details of oursuccesses and failures along
the way.
Speaker 2 (56:56):
You can send us your questions, feedback or share
your own victory advice bywriting to unfamouslyunwell at
gmailcom or by clicking the linkat the bottom of the
description to shoot us a text.
We'd love to hear from you andshare your stories on the pod.
Speaker 1 (57:07):
We'll see you back here next week for another
unhinged episode of UnfamouslyUnwell, unrated.
Welcome back everyone to Unfamously Unwell, the
podcast hosted by your twofavorite Seattle homosexuals on
a journey to higher health.
I love that opening.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
You're so energetic.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
It's probably because the Snuggie that you're wearing
yeah, I know the Mountain DewSnuggie.
You're drinking a Mountain Dewand I'm wearing a Mountain Dew
Snuggie.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It's the best gift you've ever given me, although
you did just give me a gift theother day.
What was?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
it's the best gift you ever ever given me, although
you did just give me a gift theother day.
What was it?
I give you good shit all thetime.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I can't name one thing, but I know I do mostly
because you just got your job,but we're gonna get into that
later.
Yeah, but no, you did give mesomething.
Oh, you bought me a littlepackage home the other day and I
let the candle had crystals init, oh yeah, were they real
crystals or were they like waxcrystals?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I haven't gotten to it yet.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Oh, okay, oh, that's like a touch them, they stick
out.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yeah, let me know, so I could touch them.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yeah, I also have that's like my fourth candle
that has crystals in it.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Okay, I have crystals on my counter next to my
candles, but none with crystalsin it.
You'll start healing.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I think I'm very confident.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Well, you are the expert in witchcraft, so what is
it supposed to do?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I think.
Do you think it's similar tolike recharging them like in the
moon?
If they're just sitting there,why are you?
Speaker 1 (01:18):
asking me You're the expert in witchcraft.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I did one spell Caleb .
Speaker 1 (01:21):
I did one spell, caleb, you got me my job.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
That's very fair.
That's very fair, which we dohave to get into that at some
point.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yeah, Caleb was dabbling in witchcraft while I
was unemployed.
And what was the spell?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Okay, so I remember doing this.
You need to have two candles.
I think, one was red and onewas green.
Yes, and one of them.
You had to draw arrows infacing towards the wick.
And the other one, you had toinscribe the name of the job
that you wanted, yes, or youremployer, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
But you also told me that like it had to be, like
last case resort, yeah, becauseyou put it off for like a month,
I think.
I mean, I offered it.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
And you were like no, there's still a couple jobs.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
And then you were like, can I I wanted to like,
know, until I was narrowed downto the like, the only one that I
really wanted, and then do thespell.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yes, so then we're setting it up.
You are using a needle to carveinto the candle.
I set up the alt cloth in yourbathroom.
I put all the differentcrystals on each side, like
Northeast, southwest.
Um, we get a bowl of milk.
Oh yeah, we had to make anoffering.
Yes, so we got a bowl of milkthat you put outside the front
(02:35):
door and then I left you aloneand you had to focus, yeah, like
, envision yourself, envisioninggetting this job.
And I didn't think anything ofit.
That was a Friday night.
You woke up on a Saturday Afteryou slept for like a million
hours.
You woke up to a voicemailsaying you got the job.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Yeah, like on a Saturday, like who does that?
Wild what recruiter calls youon a Saturday.
That was wild.
It was such a strong spell thatthe recruiter just like woke up
on a Saturday and was like I'mgoing to call this guy Do you
remember like even after Ifinished setting everything up,
I'm like this is going to work.
Absolutely, I knew it too.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
There was just this blind confidence.
I was like wait, this isactually going to work.
Yeah, and it did.
Yeah, the spell.
Yeah, it truly did.
Because then, also after you,like no, I have to wait for my
background check to come back.
So you did it again.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yes, well, they say you're supposed to keep burning
the candles until you have theoutcome that you desire.
And I got the recruiting call,but then I wanted the salary I
wanted and then I wanted mybackground check to go through.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
So I kept burning it until I got all the things and I
did, which is probably why I dobecause not long after you
started, or before you evenstarted, you got a call and you
got a raise.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Oh, yeah, like before , like either you just started,
or you hadn't even started yet.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
I hadn't even started yet.
My witchcraft spells are sopowerful.
There's like aftershocks ofmagic and then you told me that
I need to be responsible withRitzcraft.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Otherwise you could take over the world.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah, but that's a lot of effort, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
And a lot of commitment, but that's dabbling
for you it's like oops, I blewup the world Oopsies, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Y'all want to get some wine later.
The world's dead, but Well, Ihave plenty.
So this is.
I'm glad we started out talkingabout this, because I want
people to join my coven.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Okay, but I thought you were just dabbling.
Now you're a full on like covenleader, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Well, because the leader never does that much work
.
Okay, but I want to get likethe benefits of the power.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Is it like a sex cult , or oh no, okay, what's going
to happen in this cult?
In this cult, you?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
know what.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
What are the tenets and beliefs of your cult?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Because I only want revenge twinks in this cult.
Demon twinks, demon twinks,yeah, yeah.
Who can rage until 6 am andthen wake up and go to their
corporate job at 9 am?
Okay, those are the ones thatwill get the most done.
Can you do that?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
still, I, I think you can, I think you did when your
friend Clay was here last week.
Oh, yeah, every day, yeah,every day.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
And then that Sunday I slept for 15 hours Correct
Because my poor body, Because wedidn't go to bed until 5 am.
That first night he was here.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Yeah, and then I flew out to New York for work and,
speaking of Demon Twinks, myboss and I went to um moulin
rouge, the musical, and therewas this little like demon twink
on stage just causing all thismischief you loved him.
So I turned to my boss and Iwas like of course there's like
a demon twink causing mischiefat moulin rouge and, um, he
(05:39):
could not stop laughing and youloved that little twink, didn't
you?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
yeah, a little bit.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
The thing about you, kyle, is either like a I love a
short king, you do, or a reallytall.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Actually, you kind of love anything and everything
Because you're like is that a?
Really hot twink.
No, that's a lesbian.
Or you're into like a muscle,not daddy, but like a muscle,
thick-thighed, juicy man.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Or Talking about anyone in particular?
No, no.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
So, yeah, you're kind of all over the spectrum, but
demon twinks I could see youreally having a thing for.
Yeah, especially they have tobe short.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
You know, like some people like bad boys, I like
demon twinks Cast a spell on me,but they're not bad like
they're like low-key evil.
And that's why you like it yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Because it's different than being like a bad
boy, correct?
Oh, you're in a red light, ohwell.
Well, this demon twink justcast a spell on your entire
family.
Yeah, exactly, okay.
(06:47):
Anything else you want to shareabout your job?
Oh, I remember what else yougot me the Juicy Couture bag.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was from, yeah, New York
Market Week.
One of my suppliers is theywrap Juicy Couture.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Shut the fuck up.
Oh my God, I need anything andeverything to get your hands on.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
They have like little doggy, like chew toys and stuff
that are so cute, I'll takethem.
Oh, one of my vendors repsParis Hilton.
She has a line of like homeware.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Oh, I've seen this Like bedding and stuff.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
I've seen this.
It's kind of hideous but alsokind of amazing, like diamond
pillows, kyle wait, do you know?
Speaker 2 (07:30):
And like big throw pillows that say that's so hot
You're buying your home, right?
Imagine if they brought backlike 90s comforter sets Like the
moon, the like starry.
That would pop the fuck off forcollege people going into dorms
this fall.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
What Did you?
Is that what you brought tocollege?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
No, but like Moon sheets no, but.
That's for like children, Iknow that, but like people would
eat that up.
It's the same era as likepurple inflatable furniture.
That's 100% what's hot rightnow and it will be.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Mark my words.
Okay, mark Will be Mark mywords.
Okay, mark my words.
You were right about legs.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Legs are back.
Legs are in Surprise.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Mine was talking about being in the bathtub and
taking photos of your legs, butsemi-adjacent yeah but literally
Caleb, the day before I startmy job, just randomly turns to
me and goes I think legs aregoing to be really in this
season.
I thought he was fucking crazy.
Then I go to my first meetingat my first day at work and the
(08:31):
like VP who's at this meetinggoes.
I think legs are really backthis season.
I was like I don't even knowwhat that means.
What do you mean?
Legs are back.
They've always been there, notSusie Toots moms.
Well, apparently she meant likeleggings, tights, you know, I
don't know thigh high boots,what'd you say oh, oh, my god, a
(08:53):
thigh high boot.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
God, that's so back anyways, that's tangent.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah, what's our topic gonna be this?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
week.
So, reflecting back on lastseason thoughts, what come to
mind?
Did you hate it was the worstexperience of your life did?
Did you love it?
Do you feel indifferent aboutit?
Do you wish you were doing thisby yourself or with someone
else, like what's the tea?
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I feel like it's a great like time capsule of like
a moment in time of everythingthat was going on last year the
crazy shenanigans that we gotinto, my fun employment.
It's just like a crazy, youknow, transitional year.
It kind of all wrapped up intoa couple of fun episodes.
Okay, what?
(09:32):
What's your recap?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I reflection where we started you know, even back
when we were, there was three ofus to where we ended season two
very different.
I had no.
I like I would not have evenguessed that would it would have
gone there.
Um, I told you this earlier, Ithink it was in january.
I woke up one day and I waslike last season all it sounded
like on the podcast was I hatedmy job and I went through a
(09:59):
breakup.
That was my identity and so,yeah, it was a good time capsule
.
I think it it was good toreflect back of not letting
those things be my identity.
I had a larger thought but Icouldn't put into words what do
you think that this season'sgonna like?
Speaker 1 (10:14):
how are you gonna differentiate it from this
season?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
season three I think, although I still come home from
work some days just in theweeds burnout, not feeling it,
it happens less frequently.
And so I think I'm learning I'mnot there yet Learning how to
separate things and not letthings that are tough in my life
(10:39):
just boil over and kind of runinto every aspect.
So I feel like I'm learning howto keep that at work and be
able to hopefully show up betterthis season.
Maybe we'll see.
I think I will feel lighterthroughout the season.
I'll say that.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
That's my two cents.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
If you felt like Caleb felt heavy in the last
season and needed to lose acouple pounds, send us a message
on Instagram, or if I needed,to lose a couple pounds.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Send us a message on Instagram, or if I needed to
lose a podcast mate, actually nobecause we wouldn't be sitting
here.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Okay, so what I actually wanted to talk about
today was a couple weeks ago, itwas your birthday, and so we
celebrated, caleb.
We went to Portland, we tookthe train down.
And one I wanted to just likeshare some stories from that
weekend, um, cause they'rehilarious.
And two just wanted to like askyou some questions to reflect
(11:34):
on.
You know what it feels like tobe a year older.
Okay, okay, hit me, okay.
Well, first of all, story onewe get on the train to Portland
and your friend shows up with amedical wrist bracelet on.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
His hospital bracelet .
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Yeah, he's fresh out of the hospital and he what got
alcohol poisoning the nightbefore.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
No, he thought he was having a heart attack because
he had radiating arm pain andchest and back pain.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
He thought he was having a heart attack.
Yeah, okay, that's not what Itold.
Everyone else that I told thestory to, I said that he had
alcohol poisoning.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
No, you're thinking of the other hospitalization
that I took him to the ER for.
Oh yeah, but he had E coli then.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Still not alcohol poisoning.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
No, okay.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Well, everyone else that I told the story to.
The story goes like this heshows up with his medical
hospital bracelet and, fromhaving alcohol poisoning the
night before, and then proceedsto open up a fifth of Tito's
vodka and drink it directly withno mixer.
(12:46):
And then the guard comes overand is like um sir, sir, with
your medical bracelet on, youcannot drink alcohol of your own
on the train, and he had to putit away.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
So it started off really well yeah, and see,
there's parts of the story thatI'm like.
Oh, like that's just theirpersonality, but it is wild to a
lot of people, yeah and then sowe take the train down, the
same guard is sitting acrossfrom a different guard on the
train next to us while we'replaying cards.
I forgot about this.
We're going to get off.
(13:21):
The big burly like the rock,comes up to me and he's like hey
, my friend would kill me fordoing this, but he thinks you're
really cute.
Can I get your number for him?
And I don't remember what thislittle boy looks like, so, like
sure, I'll give him my Instagram.
Uh-huh.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
So give him my Instagram.
I don't really use my phonevery often, but here's my
instagram what's a phone youjust give?
Him the, the um.
I'm famously unwell instagram.
Oh, I did write down both.
Oh, you did.
No, I didn't.
I lied, I wanted to like showup for you just now.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
But I wasn't, I was like, but anyway.
So then I'm like, can'tremember what he looks like, he
messages me.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Oh, I feel so bad, I'm an asshole, I open it uh-huh
immediately unfollow but thenokay, everyone else you can
block in on this?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Well, because he's private and I'm not private,
nevermind, okay, but chime in onthis.
He has, wasn't it like almost4,000 posts.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Oh my God, Do you remember that he had like 4,000
posts With like 200 followers?
Speaker 2 (14:18):
I'm like what is this ?
Speaker 1 (14:19):
4,000 posts and it's like names and like random ass
things like it's his like words,like words of affirmation or
like weird little yeah sayingsor something I don't know which
could be cut.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
But it wasn't.
No, that was a demon, twink, Ithink.
I think it was a born againdemon.
Yeah, trying to get right withthe lord.
Yeah short little ginger demontwink re-baptized, so there's
two stories in one.
That was just the train ridedown.
That was just the train ridedown.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
So I should start by saying that on the train ride
down I had a back spasm orsomething and I was walking with
a cane like a walking stick,like a hiking pole, because I
could not stand upright, like Iwas not homo erectus.
I was Neanderthal, like nothunchback, but like I had D.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I had D evolved.
Yeah, those knees are kind ofbuckling.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Yeah, it's like I either have a crick in my neck
or I tweak my back orsomething's going on.
How did you tweak your back forthis?
How did I do that?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
It made you and Lindsay went out.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Oh, yeah, um, right after my back recovered from,
like the last time, we, yeah, goout and see a nineties 2000
cover band and, um, I waslifting up Caleb and our friend
Lindsay on the dance floor anddid it a couple, two times too
many Throughout his back, yeah,throughout my back, in the
morning, just could not get outof bed, could not move.
(15:52):
Yeah, and you took that walkingstick everywhere, girl.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Yeah, all over Portland.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
People thought that I was blind.
Which very friendly people inPortland If you're a blind
listener move to Portland.
Everyone was asking me if Ineeded assistance, if they could
help, if they could open doorsfor me, if I needed help getting
on or off the train.
It was great.
I also had dark glasses on, soI think people really thought
that I was blind.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
And so, yeah, the first night we stay in.
It wasn't that wild, but all Iwanted to do was watch Coyote
Ugly.
So after everyone went to bed,that's exactly what I did.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Well, one of your friends who I have hooked up
with before was there and I,like that night, set the
intention that I would not behooking up with him that weekend
because I had a cold and myback was broken.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
So that's just a foreshadowing for a story that's
later to come.
And not only that.
I think I reached out to hispublicist and let her know hey,
my client's not really lookingto fool around this weekend.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Just so you know, because you got my back.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Yes, but I was well the broken back.
Someone had to, so the firstnight it wasn't that wild.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Then we so.
So the first night it wasn'tthat wild we.
Then we go to bed.
The next day, yeah, we go tobrunch and I fucked up the uber
and I, instead of calling a uberxl, we called a regular uber,
and so we all didn't fit.
So caleb and I went on our ownto brunch and three other people
got into their own uber.
When they showed up they werelike pale as a ghost and we were
like what happened on your Uberfive minutes behind ours, and
(17:29):
they were like it was so hot.
So, hot and muggy in that Uberand he was like swerving around
and we just got so carsick andthey walk to sit down and I
could tell they're not going tomake it, None of them.
They ordered soda waters orsprites to help with their
(17:50):
stomach and our friend Lindsaymade it halfway through and then
had to Uber home and thenproceeded to call all of us
because she's feeling queasy andsick and she needs to throw up.
Your friend with the medicalbracelet on is supposed to be
home but is not home.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
He went to go hook up with someone.
They came back and the smartlock was dead.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
The batteries ran out on the smart lock, so she's
locked out of the house.
Throwing up, throwing up overthe balcony of the airbnb yeah,
it's not even noon, not evennoon no and so everyone.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Then we just kind of go around like shopping and
stuff.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Oh, no, no, no, we also go to mcminniman's yeah,
tell them about the mcminniman'spassport oh god, I feel like um
, you know, most of ourlisteners are in the seattle
area, so they need to know aboutthis.
Oh my god, you are.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yes, I am, which I need to go to more I kind of put
my passport away, so anyway.
So mcminnumens is thisrestaurant, experience, hotel,
bar chain of things.
It's in the pacific northwestonly and they have all locations
like the ones we went to.
Like there's hundreds, right, Iwould say maybe a hundred or
less, well, depending, becausethere's like some, like
(19:09):
individual bars, but like theone we went to in Bothell was an
old school that they convertedto a hotel, and then all these
little bars around it are allthemed differently.
They have concert venues.
We went to a movie at one.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Movie theater Hotel.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
They're all themed so differently and each place you
go they have a passport and eachplace has a page.
So the one in Bothell isAnderson School, so there's
multiple selections for all thelocations at that one Bothell
location and you get stamps inyour passport if you go to all
of them.
But some of them you have toorder a special drink, some of
(19:47):
them you have to do a riddle,you have to do a picture, you
have to do something to get thestamp and if you get all the
stamps at one location you get aprize.
But if you go to every singlelittle mcminniamins, all your
stamps are, all your passportpages are stamped, you can turn
it in and you get invited to theCosmic Tripster event where
only people who have completed apassport get to go to this
(20:09):
event.
This is my new identity.
Best thing that vampire everbrought into my life was
McMinimins.
He's the one who told me aboutit.
Oh, okay, didn't even suck myblood, but at least I got
McMinimins and it was amazingand the food not bad.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
So we went to three down there, we went to three
different McMenamins in Portlandin one day.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Yeah, because during the day we went from one to
another one.
That's where we met the lovelylady and we were playing
checkers.
We went to brunch at one, thatwasn't one.
We go to a place, another placeto get a drink.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
And then we went to another drink.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Yeah, and that's where we got the tots.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Yeah, the place to get a drink.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
And then we went to another drink, and that's where
we got the tots.
Yeah, the tots are good.
And then after that, I think weCajun season tots, I think.
We went to the underwear storewhere you got your shirt, and
then we went back and got ready.
And then we went to aMcMenamin's that night dressed
as Hooter Girls, correct, yeah.
So that was the day activities.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
And then we get into the evening and then we get into
the evening, yeah, which Ididn't think I was going to make
it with my broken back.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
But I got a second wind.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
My back was feeling a little bit better, my cold was
feeling a little bit better, butI was still walking around with
my cane or my walking stick.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, so we go to this McMinimins Again.
People are trashed already.
It is 7 or 8 pm, uh-huh.
One of our friends literallyjust sits down, goes to order a
drink and the waitress was likeI don't feel comfortable serving
you.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Just like walks in.
Where had you guys been Atanother?
Speaker 2 (21:38):
bar we had walked from.
Oh yeah, something like that.
Yeah, I think I was followingbecause y'all went to go get us
a seat or something we didn'tknow how busy and then I was
bringing them behind no, I satthere by myself for like 20
minutes because you guys saidthat you were going there and I
had to like wait oh, becausethen we stopped at the bar that
(21:59):
lindsey wanted to rememberbefore um, and then I got there
and then I was like where areyou guys?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
and you and you're like wow, this drink's really
good.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
It's gone.
We had left you sitting therefor a long time, but anyway.
So not only did she get cut off, she goes to laugh, hits her
fucking eye on the corner of achair, busts open her eye this
is also remember Drunk, cut offand has a black eye.
And then you're at the bar withour other friend that you have
(22:29):
hooked up with in the past andall he's in his defense, all
he's doing is doing a check-inwith you.
Yeah, but it was like, oh, areyou okay?
And then you came over to ourtable and you were like on a
scale of not okay to fuckingamazing, no, I'm not okay or
something like.
That is what you said I'm likekind of in the middle, no, but
the way you were dramatic to meand lindsey.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Yeah, because he kept asking me over and over again
are you okay, Are you okay, Areyou okay?
And I'm like I'm not going tobe okay if you keep asking me.
I'm fine and I'm lookingforward to having fun.
I'm just sitting here at thebar eating my tater tots.
So on a scale of absolutelyterrible to incredibly amazing,
I'd say I'm kind of in themiddle, sitting there at the bar
(23:07):
by yourself.
It seems like you're kind ofupset.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
I'm like oh my God, so you do storm away from over
there and you come to this table, you stay here.
Meanwhile, my other friend, thealcohol poisoning one, is in my
ear telling me that he might begetting a divorce after they
just got married and I was justlike like a month ago that's
when I think I finally looked atyou and I was like everyone
(23:31):
needs to shut the fuck up.
Everyone is main character andI'm pissed off.
I was so irritable literallybecause someone's at the bar
sharing so much emotion.
Someone's next to me telling meabout a divorce.
She's getting cut off, hittingher eye open, and this is still
dinner.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Uh huh, and you're like, when is it my turn?
Yeah, and anytime.
Anytime you tried to talksomeone, it would interrupt you.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
What do you want to do?
I would go to say something.
No, but fell on deaf ears.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
So I think after that do we go to a couple of you
kept asking like insightfulquestions that you wanted to,
like you know, startconversation with, and they
wouldn't go anywhere.
No, and so you were kind ofgetting pissed.
Oh, I was livid, yeah, but Ialso.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
My toxic trait is I am livid, but in my brain I'm
like no, I should just bethankful that they even showed
up.
No, no, no Anyway.
So I think we go to the barsafter that, and that's where the
fun gets even less.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
I had a great time.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Yes, you did yeah, and I love that and I will get
to you.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
It's not your night, yeah well, I could sense all
this drama and, you know,someone in the group was pissing
me off, so I just went off onmy own and just his walking
stick and his walking stick,yeah, people kept coming up to
me on the dance floor and askingme if I was blind and I'd say
like 50-50.
I was either yes or no.
Yeah, which it workedAbsolutely.
(25:00):
Someone came up to me and theywere like really muscly and they
thought I was blind and starteddancing with me.
So I just started like touchingall over his body and I was
like I'm blind.
So you know, I need to feel howattractive you are.
How many inches, sir?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
please let me see get out your willy, which so I feel
like we were there forever, butalso nothing happened.
At the same time, I feel likeall I kept trying to do is calm
multiple people down, becausethere were just emotions.
And then I convinced them tocome out to the dance floor and
then one of them would storm off.
I'm like okay.
And I was like let's go home,we're going to go home.
(25:38):
Great idea, Because muscle mandoesn't go home alone, he comes
back to our home.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Well, to my defense, we all called an Uber.
I called an Uber for you andeveryone else.
We're waiting outside and I geta message on Instagram from
Muscle Boy and he says that he'sin the parking lot across the
street and that I should comemeet him.
And you turn to me and saywhat's the license plate lot
across the street?
And that I should come meet himand you turn to me and say
(26:09):
what's the license plate numberon the Uber, we'll get in the
Uber, you should go meet up withhim.
And I didn't know what wasgoing on but I was like, okay,
sure, sounds good.
You guys got in the Uber and Iwent up and met with muscle boy
and um, but then he ended upjust driving me back to our
airbnb and so what happened?
Speaker 2 (26:29):
did you text me or did you let me know?
Because I I knew that you,because we had an interaction, I
was like, yeah, you can hook upin my room.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Yeah, you were.
When we got home you were onthe couch like oh, on instagram
or or whatever okay, and, andyou're like you should just go
into my room and hook up Withthe teepee.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Yeah, and then as soon as that happened, I knew
that I so.
Then I go into the othergroup's room to try to make sure
there's no crossover so youcould be protected with your
peace and your muscles and noeyesight Correct.
And Lord, why did I go in thatroom?
Oh what happened and again Ienjoy these people.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
What the fuck was that I do, but at the same time,
they piss me off this wholetrip, but I do enjoy them.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
So I don't want to be that hateful, but I'm in there,
there's tears flowing and I'mtrying to comfort One of them is
belligerently drunk.
One of them is alsobelligerently drunk.
One of them is alsobelligerently drunk, sharing
every emotion under the fuckingsun, crying.
I'm like semi-sober, sittinghere on the night of my birth
trip and I'm like the best.
(27:36):
No, because he wouldn't let metouch him.
I was like oh, I'm so sober,Don't touch me.
I don't like to be touched.
And then the other one would belike you know, like this is
really big for him.
He never shares emotions likethis with anyone.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
I don't want to be big.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
I don't want to be big the best thing of the trip
is that you got to hook up inthere, yeah, in the teepee room.
So I think on the train ridethe next day I'm pretty sure
everyone didn't speak, yeah andthere was a two hour delay the
train was delayed for two hours.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
we had to sit in the Portland train station for two
hours just waiting.
We were all just sitting on thefloor, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Anyways, what a great birthday it was because I did
do my birth week of self-careactivities.
I got Botox for the first time,yep Massage for the first time,
pedicure, pedicure.
I took off an entire week of mybirthday, didn't and stayed
here, the week before portlandbest idea I've ever had.
Yeah, and you were still notemployed then, so it was lovely.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Yeah, I got to do everything yeah I yeah, I took
you to get botox for the firsttime.
I took you to red robin for thefirst time oh yeah, we did do
that, didn't we whiskey riverchicken wrap.
Oh, man I got an avocado saladAvocado.
Oh, is that what it's called?
Yeah, that's clever, I know.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Okay, that's about all my birthday trip.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Well, what does it feel like to be 27,?
Right?
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Yeah, oh God, I've gone through it.
I've come to you about like oh,this is how I feel about being
27,.
At least three or four timessince.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Yeah, kind of all over the place.
It is Keep track.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Because I think that this year I've had, I think I've
reflected the most you knowback on my life that I have in a
long time, because literally mylife was so fast paced, like
high school, then you go tocollege, which is always chaotic
, then I became a nurse soonerthan the pandemic happened, so
(29:31):
it was like an auto drive justcrazy life.
And then I moved to Cleveland,ohio, with a man who started
travel nursing move here as atravel nurse I'm traveling all
the time and I think this pastyear was like the first year.
That was like settled andtrying to create home, but then
I also had no aspects of home.
And so it just really hit mereally hard.
(29:52):
So I think reflecting for 27 ismy goal, and intention is to
find that home and like in thatcommunity, whether it be here or
moving or something like that.
I think that that's myintention.
My goal is to make long-term,solidified, great connections
with people and a lot ofgrounding, whether it be in the
(30:16):
activities I'm doing, lesschaotic, less unwell, because,
fuck, last year I showedsomebody.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Don't give up on that that's the entertainment that's
our viewership, hi so, yeah,that's my.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
I think that's my goal and intention.
I think it sums up a lot of allthe emotions I've shared with
you.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah yeah, it seems like you're.
I like I remember being 27 andI feel like up to you know a
certain everything is plannedout for you.
You go to college, you get yourdegree, you start a job and it
almost is like autopilot.
You don't have to make anydecisions.
(30:55):
But then you get to this pointin your life and you get to
start deciding what your futureis going to look like outside of
all of that, and there's noroadmap for it.
It can be really stressful ifyou are struggling to figure out
what your community is or whatyou want your future to look
like, and so it's important totake time and really figure out.
(31:19):
What do I want my next year tolook like?
What do I want five years fromnow to look like?
What do I want future Caleb tothank me for later?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
You know, lack of wrinkles.
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
Yeah, that's really true, and Ithink that's a better way of
summer.
Summarizing what I said, likefeeling like I'm just going,
going, going until this is thefirst year.
I felt like I get to decide andset the intention of what's
going to happen.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Yeah, but you can like either choose to like set
down roots and solidify therelationship that you do have or
you know, I don't know get alittle more settled in where you
are now.
Or you can like choose to likeblow it up and move on and do
something new, and do you feellike you're being drawn to like
(32:09):
one way or another?
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Instinctually, yes, but that's I'm having a lot of
internal conflicts about it,cause I've come to you multiple
times.
I'm like I just need to move, Ijust want to uproot my life.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
And then, what is the instinctual part that the move.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Oh, okay, which, and so, and then I think the way the
reason there's so much internalconflict is because I'm like,
with all this weight of like, oh, I need to know and plan ahead
for my future and like, makeintentional decisions.
Now that's like arguing withthe instinct because it's like,
okay, well, you need to think oflike do you want to go back to
(32:48):
school?
Where's the best pricing forthat?
Do you, what do you want to dofor job?
Where do you even want to move?
Like all these things.
But I've never made a decisionbased solely on a logic and I
feel like, since I'm no longerin the autopilot, I've almost
feel the pressure to make alogical decision, but it doesn't
feel correct.
And so, like you know, I movedto Seattle, never had lived here
(33:10):
.
I'm like, in my gut that feltright, and so I think I'm just
trying to give myself grace oflike I will know when I know,
and trying to like, yeah, think,overthink.
It only makes like thein-between worse.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Yeah Well, it's hard to see the forest through the
trees, it's what they say.
So I think your gut hasn'treally led you astray, you know
thus far, and so I would justlean into that, yeah, healthy
choices for 2025.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Yeah, for 2025, what's your goal?
Are you going to go?
Are you going to start workingout?
I saw your stretching mat out.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Yeah, um, I did a three day juice cleanse cleanse,
oh my god all I drank was juice.
For three days I I came homefrom the holidays with my
parents juicer and a thrown outback, correct, yep?
So after caleb's birthday Ijuiced, was it after it was?
Speaker 2 (34:03):
before because remember we went out, I think
for tristan's birthday thing.
We went out with Nick and herand that woman said I remember
when I had an eating disorderbecause you were on a juice
cleanse.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Because I was on a juice cleanse, I did have a
mocktail and you had some sipsof wine.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
So, but I don't know, you literally go to a Mexican
restaurant and you didn't.
Well, you did have a chip.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
No, um, I think I tasted the salsa yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
And I had a, I had a couple um zero Coronas or
whatever.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
You were so strong Like NA.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Coronas, they were really good.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
You were so strong for that Cause, like they
Tristan and Nick were both likecome on, you should eat.
I'm like leave him alone.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
He eat.
I'm like, leave him alone.
He doesn't want to.
Yeah, it actually wasn't thathard for three days.
You can do anything for threedays, god, to have your will.
Put me in prison, beat me, I'mdamn okay, put me in the bottom
of a hole.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
Is that kind of what the juice cleanse felt like
being in prison at the bottom ofa hole?
Speaker 1 (35:00):
well that.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
But you have the most energy.
You've had a lot of tv videogames, distracting myself from
food because you're also stillunemployed, correct, yeah, and
you don't even have food to lookforward to.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
No but I did love my juice I really did.
Every day I wake up and I waslike, wow, I get to eat, like
drink this celery juice, andit's so good, and now you
haven't stopped doing it, I know, but I have started eating.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Yeah, I know but you still you haven't stopped ju it.
I know, but I have startedeating, yeah, I know, but you
haven't stopped juicing.
Like every once in a while,like probably, like every like
10 days or so.
You're like time to juice.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Because I make like 10, you know, at a time.
So I have like one everymorning now.
But when I was doing mythree-day juice cleanse, I had
like a celery juice in themorning, a carrot juice in the
afternoon.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
With the ginger, it was good yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
And then I did like a beet juice one, a green juice
one, anyways, and probably likea lemon ginger something.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
So the people want to know what was your stool like
during this cleanse.
I don't think I pooped.
Well, you do take all the fiberout.
Yeah, there's not a lot ofpooping going on.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Did you piss?
Speaker 2 (36:04):
a lot.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Was it a different color?
Speaker 2 (36:09):
did it smell differently?
No, actually going to mountduge's cleanse yeah, but I did
lose five pounds.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
You did.
That wasn't like the the goal,but I did really feel like my
face like really slimmed out.
And we also did dry january,that too I think think that
helped.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Wow, You're really starting off this year.
You got a new job, bought aGucci necklace, did dry.
January went on a juice cleanse.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Yeah, I did dry January until like the 28th or
something.
But then I had that baby showerin Santa Barbara and I had a
beer and I went to a moviepremiere for the movie Companion
with Dennis Quaid's son.
What's his name?
Jack Jack Quaid.
Yeah, I had a big crush onDennis Quaid growing up because
(36:53):
he was in Parent Trap withLindsay Lohan.
But, yeah, I had a healthy start, but then I threw out my back,
and so now I need to get back onthe workout train, or at least
let's go on walks or something,especially with the weather,
because it's getting nice out,yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
But see, I don't want to walk on the street, I want
to.
There's so many differentlittle lake beach front areas we
should just go walk at.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
I agree.
Should we get a dog too?
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Oh, absolutely not, we could go walk the dog, you
don't want to take the one thatwe already have?
No, no, we can get a littlelike a little chihuahua or one
of those like toy dogs.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
You just taking it to work would be so kind, yeah,
especially if it was likementally disabled and it had you
know tongue stick out like asenior dog.
Yeah, and maybe like couldn'tmove its hind legs but then it
had like wheels.
I would love that.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
Kyle, that's so your identity.
I know you would mother that tofucking health.
Yeah, by the time you're donewith it.
It's walking, it's runningabsolutely.
The wheels just break off, it'slike Forrest Gump.
It's like Forrest Gump, whenhe's running you're like that's
my baby.
Yeah, go, yeah, go, baby, yeah.
And then he gets in my car.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
I'm like all right.
Well, on to the next one.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
I can't fix them all.
I guess I'll get a boyfriendnow.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
That was funny, that was good.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Okay, are we done talking about healthy, because I
do want to talk about somethingbefore we get into victory
advice.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Okay, this feels very full circle.
Ariana grande released heralbum last year.
That people there was mixedreviews about kyle and I were
fans.
We were going through a breakup,though, but we ate it up.
A year later, she's releasedthe deluxe.
It is phenomenal, and I haven'tbeen this jazzed about an album
(38:50):
.
How many new songs are there?
Five, because you said four andI was like, no there's.
Because there's four memories,I was like, oh, there is a fifth
one, or maybe there's six,because the interlude he's
talking about the music video ohmy god, it's a short film.
26 minutes, yeah, and it'sphenomenal, but the songs.
I haven't been this excitedabout a cohesive entire album in
a long time.
(39:10):
Like jess glenn, you know hervery first album love all of it
damon lovato, tell me you loveme.
Era dangerous woman.
Like where you love every songon there.
But this shows a different sideof our underground day.
That she's so musicallycreative, storytelling, acting
and it's like gets a pointacross without coming across as
(39:35):
hateful, like cause you know shepreviously had a song is like I
would love to see me from yourpoint of view, and in this song
she was like I'd much rather die.
I'd rather be seen alive thandie in your point of view, or
something like that.
So like being yourself, likeyou know, because she broke up
with that man to get with thisother man.
Yeah, it ruined my reputation,people were talking shit, but
I'd much rather live my lifeauthentically than to stay in
(39:57):
that box.
Just so beautifully writtenlove her.
You're not as jazzed about it.
I haven't listened to it yet,pardon me.
Doesn't think she's going toget a Grammy for it.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
No.
Okay, then you want to talkabout your queens she didn't get
a Grammy for the original,she's not going to get a Grammy
for the extended version.
I don't know.
These songs are pretty good.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
No, you know what she could get.
Isn't it an Emmy for, like themusic video?
What is that Emmy?
I don't think if it's onYouTube you can get a word for
it.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Oh no, it has to be on like primetime to get an Emmy
.
That is primetimed Nope.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Okay, we'll talk about your queen releasing her
album.
Gaga Slay Abba, Kadabba Boots,House Down Slay Queen, Queen,
Queen, Queen, Queen, Queen.
Tickets go on presale tomorrow,right.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Queen, queen, queen, queen, cut, cut the tickets go
on presale tomorrow, right, noTuesday, the day after tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
And our fake ass fucking friends.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
What.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
They got tickets because they know someone who
works there.
You're in the group chat, sothey did.
Yeah, works where At ClimatePledge?
Speaker 1 (40:59):
Did we get any tickets?
Speaker 2 (41:01):
No no.
That's fucked up and after wewere like oh, we have verizon,
we will try to get y'all some wehave verizon too no, we have
verizon, you and I, they don't.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
So we were like oh, we have and they didn't say like
, oh, can I get four?
Speaker 2 (41:15):
no, they got four, but none for us.
You're not.
You're literally in the chat.
It's on instagram, is that how?
Speaker 1 (41:19):
low tier.
We are with them, yeah, andthen, immediately after, invite
us to his birthday I'm not going.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
The goodie bag better be a Gaga ticket.
Yeah, no, yeah, because he saidthey already got tickets,
because, remember, he posted isgoing to Lady Gaga on Facebook
and I said someone's a littleconfident.
They're like oh, lol, weactually already did get tickets
and I said you're joking, no.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
But then he says yes, we're going to try to attend
the other pre-sales and try tobuy whatever we can to help
friends, so not even just us.
Yeah, fake, we're going to getin the ga pit and I'm going to
elbow my way in front of them.
Her album is insane.
I cannot wait to see her.
And, um, my favorite song ishow bad do you want me?
I play it every morning.
I'm sorry if you're sick of itand you keep listening to do
what you want with my body.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
Play it every morning .
I'm sorry if you're sick of itand you keep listening to Do
what you Want With my Body too.
I heard you listening to it theother morning.
Oh, kyle is a liar here, goahead.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Oh, it came on shuffle oh.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
I thought you were intentionally doing it, Because
to me they coincide.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
They do a little bit.
Speaker 2 (42:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
But she's just giving this dark pop era vibe that
like everyone all of her, likeOG fans have been waiting for.
And it's kind of like you know,the album's called mayhem and I
feel like it takes you on thislike mayhem ask journey where
you never really know what kindof song is going to come next,
cause there's you end up withdie with a smile.
(42:41):
Yeah, there's like a bunch ofdifferent genres in there, but
also a lot of um, just like popbangers and like clever lyrics
and just like great bops leftand right so I saw that's like
was her intention.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Whenever she did press about it she was like it's
controlled chaos.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
But mostly chaos, but there's a vision genius.
Okay, let's get into victoryand vice.
Okay, you go first.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
Great.
I think I want to start with myvictory.
It's a cold day in hell,because I finally went to the
dentist.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Oh my god, you finally did it.
This has been like months andmonths and months of me trying
to get you to go.
How did it go?
Speaker 2 (43:24):
Again whenever you're in the thick of life.
It wasn't bringing me joy.
I wasn't able to think aboutfuture, caleb, so I finally made
the remember.
I was sitting down at the tablethat night.
I was like exploring all myhealth benefits and I booked
that appointment.
I booked therapy, everything.
It was so easy.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
So I went on Thursday , friday, thursday, and I have
to get a crown.
Apparently they only doporcelain crowns and I don't
know what kind of if what dentalinsurance is good or not.
I've dealt to dental.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
I have to pay $1,200, after insurance, for this crown
on Monday.
That's not good, not only that,but the dentist was.
She was lovely, she brought mea rose, what and I was like quit
farting.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
Was it Mother's Day?
Speaker 2 (44:06):
It was white rose.
That means friendly right, oris that death?
That's yellow, what's?
Speaker 1 (44:10):
yellow what's?
Speaker 2 (44:11):
white Morning condolences.
I think so.
Yeah, for my teeth, for mypocketbook.
So while they're doing thex-rays, and they put that like
lead vest on you and he goestake it off, I was like, can you
leave it on?
So, cause it felt like a way toblanket.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
I was nervous as fuck .
Speaker 2 (44:28):
And then, after what I'm going to like book for my
crown, and then I have to booksomething else, um, to get fixed
too, and she was, like you werequite a bit nervous Do you want
us to prescribe you a sedativefor when you come back?
I was like, say that I've notprescribed that Okay, fine.
I took something to calm mynerves before.
(44:51):
Yes.
And I was still nervous.
So apparently this is strongerthan Xanax.
It's an old-school drug andI'll forget the name of it
Propanol.
No, that's a beta blocker.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
I don't know, I'm just throwing out words.
Oh, halcyon, it's a benzo,halcyon, it's a benzo.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Yeah, so halcyon is the medicine and apparently it
treats insomnia.
But she said I'll like itbecause it has an amnesia effect
.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
So you won't remember .
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Correct.
Okay, so that's my victory.
I finally went to the dentist.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
I am spending a lot of money on that and more money
to be spent and my vice continue.
Oh, my victory.
My victory was that I'm notunemployed anymore and I got
this job that I've wanted forprobably the last decade and I'm
very excited about it.
And the house is benefitingfrom it, because I'm getting
lots of samples of Mountain DewSnuggies.
(45:49):
My vice is a little tricky.
How do I explain it?
Speaker 2 (45:59):
I love a puzzle.
Speaker 1 (46:00):
Yeah, and it's kind of tied to my victory because
I'm in this new role back at acompany that I used to work for.
Um, you know, I left thatcompany to get into the wine
business.
Um, I did that wine thing for acouple of years got, became a
level two, level two, somalia,and, you know, worked for a
(46:22):
master sommelier, ran a Frenchwine import company, and now I'm
back.
How do I explain it?
I'm following.
This inner saboteur is kind ofcoming out at my new job.
Maybe it's just that I'm acouple weeks in, but even though
(46:43):
I'm very qualified and I knowthat I can do this job, like
with my eyes closed, it feelslike some voice inside my head
is telling me that I don'tbelong there or I don't deserve
to be at this, like you know,higher level, or that I'm.
You know I'm going to make amistake, or you know, or it's
(47:03):
all going to fall out from underme.
And so that little voice hasbeen like causing me a lot of
stress, but it has gottenquieter over the last couple of
weeks, so hopefully it continuesto get quieter until it's gone.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
What if your sister said all of that about a job?
What would you tell?
Speaker 1 (47:20):
her.
I guess I would ask her to giveme examples of the kind of work
that she's done that has shown,like proved to her, that she's
capable of doing the work thatshe's doing now.
Okay, so give me examples likeand crushed it, with my current
(47:52):
manager as my boss and now I'mdoing his job and he's a level
above me, so really it's justlike getting back into the same
dynamics.
And the one thing that I reallyenjoy working with with this
person and this kind of tiesback to our general theme of gay
wellness is it is reallyimportant for gay people to have
mentors that accept them andvalue them for who they are and
(48:14):
the voice that they bring, evenif that voice is different than
the rest of the company.
And I think he really taught methat, as a gay man himself, that
you can be loud and proud as agay person and you can use, you
know gay terminology and youdon't have to like fit into the
(48:40):
like corporate voice thateveryone else uses and you can
stand out and still be valuedand you don't have to hide who
you are.
And that's like a huge part ofwhy I chose to take this job was
because I knew I was going backto work with someone that was
(49:03):
going to value me and my voiceand the way that I present and
what I stand for as like aindividual and also like what I
can bring to the company, and sothat's kind of what I am like
holding on to, is just likeknowing that this person, really
(49:25):
, you know, taught me that I canjust be myself and show up and
that's enough.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
And not just accept you but celebrate you.
I'm glad that you shared that,because I think I would not have
guessed that, knowing you, thatyou were feeling that way.
Yeah, I'm good at hiding it,correct.
Speaker 1 (49:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
But thank you for sharing that because I also
think it brings up a good youknow, acknowledges the way
people feel, but also brings upa great conversation about like
using gay lingo in theprofessional work setting right,
it's not unprofessional right,like I will be.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
like.
We sold a million dollars inthis item Slay and everyone just
laughs.
But I was afraid to do that fora long time to just be myself.
And I don't think that that'sfair and it really does keep
(50:24):
people back from excelling attheir work.
When they show up and they feellike they can't just be
themselves, they have to fit in,they have to use, you know, the
corporate lingo and I wouldlove to hear from, like any of
our listeners who haveexperienced that before um, or
give examples of you know,moments that they've felt that
way or moments that they feltlike celebrated at work for
(50:45):
being different, because I thinkthe world needs more of it.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
You need to work in, live, laugh, love that at work,
I use that a lot.
Okay, I use work a lot.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
Slay At work.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
Yeah, but it's like work, like you need to come up
with, like a fun, like emailsign off, like.
Speaker 1 (51:01):
Mine is.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
Sesse you slayed or Sesse you slayed S-A-U, slade or
S-A-U.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Slade yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
Boots comma.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
Kyle Webber.
I am in the home department, soSlay house down boots.
I've been telling everyone that, yeah, love that.
Okay, Okay what's your vice ofthe week?
Speaker 2 (51:20):
Could you believe that my vice again kind of as a
consequence of my own action,but I didn't cause it to happen,
Okay, so it's a double whammy.
I don't want to talk about theone of them that much.
So we got into the pickleballleague.
We lost all the playoffs in thefirst round, but we dig into
next league.
Speaker 1 (51:39):
But we were ranked like number three.
Speaker 2 (51:41):
Yeah, Okay, yeah, I'm still upset about it.
We should have beat them.
But we're going to get them.
We're going to get them nextseason.
But I parked near the communitycenter, as you would.
I got there a little early.
There was no spots in thegarage.
We lose Kyle's like officejobby to my car.
I'm like no, I'm going to walkbecause I'm kind of pissed that
we lost.
I get all the way home.
(52:03):
Pull in the garage.
Look over at my passengerwindow.
Guess what's fucking cracked.
Speaker 1 (52:09):
The passenger window.
Speaker 2 (52:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
You didn't really bury the lead on that one.
I wasn't trying to.
Speaker 2 (52:16):
I was dramatizing it you don't have to guess, you
just said it Guess, guess, guessguess.
I'm pretty sure that's my thirdpassenger window since I
fucking moved here and theynever bash it in, thank God.
But it looks like someone tookthe edge or the butt of a
fucking flashlight and crackedit twice, or a gun Like the butt
of a gun.
Speaker 1 (52:33):
Pew pew yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:34):
Right, and it's thank God I never got it.
If I contended so, then myinsurance, which is a whole
other story, got dropped.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
Tell them how much you pay for insurance.
For your car insurance you pay,how much a month.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
So when I moved here I paid it was still a lot.
But remember I was 24 when Imoved here and then all of these
things kept happening.
I think I paid like $170 amonth full coverage when I moved
here.
Since then my back window'sbeen broken.
My passenger window's beenbroken three times.
Someone kicked in my bumperLast month.
(53:06):
I go to get on Farmers to paymy insurance A few days before
it's due canceled.
My policy didn't tell me.
So then I go like fuck, I haveto get insurance.
I'm like I'm not going back tothem.
I call all these otherinsurances.
They won't take me because Iwas uninsured.
There's a lapse in insurance bya few days since they dropped
(53:28):
me.
So I have to go back to farmers.
Not only do they reinstate mypolicy, they charge me more
because they say oh well, thepolicy that you signed up for in
october, you know the themarket price adjusted, so now I
pay 550550 a month.
That's more than my car payment.
(53:51):
And they all remember the fiascoof the fall about car insurance
that I went through, so to bereliving it.
So now I have to pay for thisfucking window out of pocket
because I'm not following thaton my insurance.
I'm half tempted to order thewindow from Amazon and figure it
out myself.
That would be a good littleproject for you, and I'm it's
like one of those approachable,like gently cocky about, like I
(54:12):
could do that.
Speaker 1 (54:12):
Yeah, you could.
Speaker 2 (54:14):
But I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (54:14):
You have to take the door apart, though.
Ah, what if you lose the?
Speaker 2 (54:18):
screw.
Imagine if I lose dopamine.
That car's dead to me.
Speaker 1 (54:23):
I don't have a door now.
I'm just driving without it youdon't have to take the inside
door.
I know you don't have to takethe whole door off, but you know
me If I lost over me mid doingit.
Speaker 2 (54:31):
the panel would sit in the trunk and I would drive
it with no panel.
Yep.
Speaker 1 (54:34):
Yeah, so, yeah, that's my advice.
So someone broke your windowand you can't use insurance.
550 a month, can you imagine ifyou made a claim and it goes up
to like 600?
Speaker 2 (54:47):
and it's what even sucks even more is because in
seattle I would try to learnpublic transportation if I had.
No, I wouldn't, no, I wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (54:54):
I was about to lie, but I was like I would have to
drive for work, but like thecrazy part is that I've I moved
here with a car and I have a carnow and I've never had an issue
with anyone breaking into mycar, damaging my car, anything
that has required an insuranceclaim in 10 years.
Speaker 2 (55:15):
You better knock on fucking wood.
For the longest time I thoughtit's because I had my Tennessee
license plate.
But this is the first incidentthat has happened since I
haven't had my Tennessee.
But then, even when I had mywork car, someone busted the
first one I had, and thensomeone sideswiped my mirror on
the work car after I had it noteven a week.
Speaker 1 (55:34):
Yeah, that's wild.
Speaker 2 (55:38):
So that's growth.
I'm getting in no car accidentsthis year.
That's my healthiest goal isfor 2025.
Speaker 1 (55:45):
Great Any other things you want to share?
No, I think it's time to signoff.
Speaker 2 (55:49):
Season three bitches.
Oh, just we should give alittle insight.
Speaker 1 (55:52):
We are not releasing weekly oh yeah, we're going to
do an every other week format,so stay tuned for two weeks from
today and you'll be getting ournext episode of Unfamously
Unwell.
Okay, you'll be getting ournext episode of unfamously
unwell, okay.
So we will see you back here intwo weeks in the studio.
Live in the studio with our umsnuggies, and you guys should
(56:15):
follow us on Instagram atunfamously unwell.
If you have stories to share ofyour own, or victory and vices,
then email us at unfamouslyunwell at gmailcom.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
And also any suggestions or any topics you
want us to cover.
Speaker 1 (56:28):
Absolutely.
Yeah, we definitely want tohear from you guys, and until
next week, we wish you well.
Speaker 2 (56:36):
Happy birthday, bitches.
Speaker 1 (56:39):
That was cute.
Thanks for listening to anotherepisode of Unfamously Unwell,
the unrated podcast hosted byyour two favorite Seattle
homosexuals on a journey tohigher health.
Listen each week as we deepdive into a new topic and give
you all the dirty details of oursuccesses and failures along
the way.
Speaker 2 (56:56):
You can send us your questions, feedback or share
your own victory advice bywriting to unfamouslyunwell at
gmailcom or by clicking the linkat the bottom of the
description to shoot us a text.
We'd love to hear from you andshare your stories on the pod.
Speaker 1 (57:07):
We'll see you back here next week for another
unhinged episode of UnfamouslyUnwell, unrated.
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