Gaycations & Honey Bucket Hookups

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Find out this week if Kaleb ever made his Dentist appointment and which celebrities Kyle ran into in Provincetown (spoiler alert! It was Tammy Brown and Billy Eichner). 

Ever wondered why gay vacation spots like P-Town or Puerto Vallarta hold such a special allure? We get real about the affordability, the unique dynamics in personal and romantic relationships, and the emotional rollercoaster that sometimes comes with these trips. With candid discussions about visualizing friends naked (thanks to their TMI stories) and an unforgettable underwear party encounter, we delve into the beautiful yet complex world of gay vacation culture and relationships.

Next, Kyle gives Kaleb a Gay Hookup Culture Quiz. We dive into the concept of demisexuality and share some personal stories about transformative journeys from homophobia to acceptance. Plus, you'll hear about an unforgettable birthday hookup that involves champagne, oysters, and an Aston Martin dealership, wrapping up with a playful "Fuck, Marry, Murder" game with a twist that ties natural disasters to relationship quirks. Tune in for a mix of humor, insight, and heartfelt moments!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
So, kyle, you know how you're always up my ass
about getting appointments.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
I like to see the dentist.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Okay, example Exhibit A.
That's still on my to-do list,but I did check off some.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
I thought you were going to tell me that you did it
.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
No, I did check off some things.
One thing, two things On mypersonal health.
That I've been like on yourcase about no on my personal
health that I've been like onyour case about, um no, because
those aren't bringing me any joy.
Nor is it like an immediate, animmediate emergency in my brain
.
So that's why I keep putting itoff.
Okay, but I did order contactstoday because that pair of my

(00:37):
eyes that's important.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, your health of your eyes is very important.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
When's?

Speaker 2 (00:41):
the last time you saw um a doctor an optometrist?
Yeah, that's a good questionfor the class.
That's also important.
Add that to your to-do list.

Speaker 1 (00:49):
Stop it Because now I'm a to-do.
No, because I did go a fewyears ago and they told me I had
train tracks in my eye, so theyhad to send me to a retina
specialist.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Turns out I was ain't got any senses, except for
smelling, if you have.
I can't see, I can't taste.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Okay, retinal issues you should definitely see the
eye doctor every year.
I did go to a retina specialist, okay, and they were like, oh
no, it's just like scar tissue,that could just happen to people
.
So but I wear monthly contactsso you sleep in them.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Oh, you mean you have scars on your eyes because you
wear your contacts too long see,the thing is that she saw that
before I.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
I was back when I was healthy, as in seventh grade,
you know that contact lenses arethe number one abused
prescription in the unitedstates can I fact check you on
that?
Yeah, where did you get thatfact from?
Someone told me one time werethey an optometrist, no
ophthalmologist oh, you know wecan.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
We can ask is um andrew travels.
He's an optometrist.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Oh, my god, those leg veins, oh my god, you are
melting right now, why did my?

Speaker 2 (02:00):
my mouth started salivating that's why I don't
know what to say back as soon asyou said his name.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
I pictured his thigh with the veins going down.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
It like oh girl, I know what you're talking about,
yeah we've been into him twice.
Oh yeah, I know he lives inseattle do you know who I met in
p-town this weekend?
Is there gonna be someone?
I know?
Um, okay, tammy brown the dragqueen was there.
When I know?
Um, okay, tammy brown the dragqueen was there.

(02:29):
Okay, she's rubal's drag waste,yeah.
And oh my gosh, it was so funny.
My friend patrick that wasthere with me.
His last name is brown and hismom's name is tammy brown and he
goes running up to her andshe's handing out flyers and he
goes.
I'm sorry to like bug you, butlike, I just have to tell you
that it's so funny that yourname is Tammy Brown and my mom's
name is Tammy Brown and sheturns to him and goes okay, move

(02:51):
along, honey.
I'm trying to advertise for myshow tonight.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
How can you ever say something even remotely hateful
or sassy to that man?

Speaker 2 (02:59):
He is just the funnest, cutest little.
Yeah, I mean, I thought it washilarious, but then, of course,
the outcome of the story is evenbetter.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
And that's I mean, tammy.
I don't even know who you are,let alone be meeting my friend,
sorry.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, it was not a great encounter, but we also met
Billy Eichner.
He's like a comedian.
The blank stare is back.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
The blank stare is back, stares back the blank.
Um, but he's just a comedian.
And then billy in the streetsno wait, yeah, he was like do
you know who this man is?
Yes, him.
And they're like no, yeah,that's me.
Yeah, so, yes, I do know thatvideo.
People not knowing him, yesthat's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Anyways, p town was a blast wait, is that man gay
billy?

Speaker 1 (03:40):
yeah, yeah, oh, I just thought he was like you
know quirky.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Oh no, he's definitely gay, homosexual.
Interesting, he gets theaterkid, yeah, but he was nice.
He was like oh, thanks so much.
Have a great day wait you haveto tell them about patrick's
other bit that he kept doing ohyeah, patrick decided it would
be funny if, um, while I'mtalking to cute boys in P-Town,
that he would walk up and ask totake a picture with me and say

(04:11):
that he's the number one fan ofFamously Unwell.
It was great.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
I love that he's just so willing to do that.
He's like you don't know whothe fuck this man is yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
I was just like.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
You know that happens all the time, so were you
really good at acting, of course, when I'm drunk, I can really
act.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
Uh-huh, it looks like you don't believe no, no, but
you can do it I will say this inmy head I acted great okay,
what's the topic today?

Speaker 1 (04:42):
um, I'm glad that you asked.
I'm going to be honest withthem that we shifted topics
because I picked you up from thelight rail station.
Was it Tuesday?

Speaker 2 (04:52):
Yeah, that was yesterday.
Today's Wednesday, that wasyesterday Last night.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
I picked you up from the light rail station and we
just get to gabbing when we'retogether and I was like stop
talking.
We need to talk about this onthe podcast tomorrow.
So we shifted the topic.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
I do hate that, though, to say save it for the
podcast, because it interruptsthe like gabbiness that we have
going on, but we do do itoccasionally for our listeners.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
And I think it's better that way, because then I
get to react in real time, yeah.
And I enjoy that journey more.
Me too, instead of having tore-hear it again, again and
again, and again, it's becauseyou're not a good actor.
Oh, I just don't care, yeah, andI'm not good at acting like I
do.
Yeah, maybe that's my flaw, butyes, so tell us about where you

(05:41):
went, what days.
Just give us the preface of theentirety of the trip, and then
I want to hear timeline, I wantthe deets, and we have a plan to
incorporate this into someother questions and content.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
Okay, so I went to Provincetown, massachusetts.
You fly into Boston, you take aferry to the Cape.
It's like a little gay seasidetown that's quaint and cute on
the exterior but has a filthyunderground scene I kyle, I can.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
My dilemma is is whenever people start telling me
about their sexual encounters,I can never not picture them
naked.
And what are you thinking about?
Me naked right now, yes, andhaving sex.
And that's just my friend Meland I.
We go through this all the time.
She'll start telling me I'mlike Melissa, I see you naked
and having sex when you'redescribing this.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
And I can't not do it .
Girl, you better buckle up forthis episode.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
I'm excited Okay.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
You look nervous, you look nervous.
I would say that highlights ofthe trip were one that, like
p-town, was a lot less expensivethan I thought it was going to
be.
Um it, like you and I just wentto puerto vallarta, you know
and like, would go to the pooland spend like 200 on drinks.
Nine of us went out to dinnerone night and went, or we went

(07:02):
to a piano bar and we all got,like you know, a couple drinks
throughout the night and thatwas like 200 for nine people oh
my gosh yeah, it's like veryreasonable you know what I will
say?

Speaker 1 (07:13):
east coast drinks are cheaper because if I'm spending
15 on a fucking vodka,sugar-free red bull at a bar
here no maybe nine dollars backhome yeah, the bar that I worked
at in north car, we had like $1PBRs.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
Okay, we're supposed to be talking about hookup
culture.
Yeah, and we never got there.
I'm there.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
So I know you were just sharing some things about
P-Town, but it got my wheels aspinning, okay, do gay people go
to gay cities purely with theintention for sex is my question
for you oh my gosh and I and Idon't mean that to generalize I
mean like is that likeunderneath?
Like you, the psychologyresearcher, what do you think?

(07:53):
And you, as a gay man?

Speaker 2 (07:55):
I would say there's definitely people that do I
wouldn't say that all gay peopledo and I like to travel to like
gay cities because it feelslike when I get there I'm like
already in a space with peoplein a community that I'm going to
have fun with you know, becauseyou can already relate to them
because they're gay.
They already know the right gaybars to go to Right and it's

(08:20):
easy to like integrate and havefun and just like make friends
and be with people that you canspend the vacation with.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
You know, that's such a good point because I think
that what people don'tunderstand about gay bars are
like gay cities that's the oneplace they get to go and just be
themselves.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
Yeah, that's what's so cool about P-Town and share
and bond over the gay experience.
Yeah, I think a lot of peoplehave at least like past, like
exes and stuff.
They have been like very likeresistant to us as a couple
going on vacation to a gaydestination.
I think because of what you'retalking about right now, which
is that like there's this fearthat everyone there is going to

(09:01):
want to have sex with you oryou're going to get hit on all
the time or you know whatever,and it's not going to be about
your vacation anymore, it'sgoing to be about, you know,
hooking up, and I have foundthat, yes, like that is an
option, if that, if you want it,but it doesn't.
I've never felt like pressure,you know, or anxiety around,

(09:23):
like feeling like I needed tolike hook up with people while
I'm on vacation in a gaydestination.
It's just like nice as anoption.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
You know, that's very interesting because I think
that because you were in an openrelationship and like where
y'all had already agreed toterms and stuff, so I could see
like why that would be ananxiety.
But I think me as being someonewho was never in an open
relationship and never say never, but currently that wouldn't be
my vibe.
I would also be nervous.
I'm just like envisioning in myhead like if I had a partner

(09:55):
right now and that was happening, that would be really tough, I
think.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
And well, it definitely was, because I ran
into.
I mean, I was at an underwearparty and I was walking around
the dark room and there was thisguy outside who was like not
having a good time, I could tell.
So I went up to him to justlike check and see how are you
doing?
I'm like you seem like a reallynice guy, what's going on?

(10:19):
And he was like my boyfriend'sin the dark room and I didn't
want to go and now'm like feelweird and you know.
So that stuff does happen.
But then of course, my toxictrait is I started making out
with him and then took him tothe dick.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
Doc, I'm covering my mouth right now because, kyle, I
, literally on the tip of mytongue, was about to say kyle,
you're so fucking wonderful,like you're like.
Oh, I see that that person isupset.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
Well, I wanted him to have a good time and I showed
him a good time.
I know I just Because, like,the dark room isn't for everyone
.
Some people want to like danceand get to know each other and
then suck each other's dicks.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Did you do like a check-in with him after like,
did he feel better?

Speaker 2 (11:03):
yeah, I did, because I saw him the next night,
because we added each other oninstagram and he told me where
he was going, and so I saw himat the end of the night and I
was like how are things goingwith, you know, the fight that
you were having?
He was like, oh my gosh, likewe were just like kind of drunk
and like this stuff like happensall the time, and it's not
really a big deal, but he wasfine.

(11:24):
You should check in with him ina year to see if they're still
together I wonder if maybe hewas just kind of jealous that
his partner was getting actionand then he wasn't jealous
anymore after he got action Ithink that maybe a part, because
I always chop it up to himimmaturity whenever it comes to
like openness and sexuality andlike open relationships.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
But, um, I don't think it's necessarily all that.
I think that I my sex drivewith someone goes up when I'm
feeling more emotionallyconnected to them and so to see
them doing a sexual action thatemotionally makes me want to do
that.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
Sounded weird no, not at all.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
I totally, I totally get that but to see them do it
with like, almost like, sotransactionally it almost like
takes away from you.
Doing it with you, yeah, yeahand I think it's because it's
yeah don't get in an openrelationship?
Yeah, not at all which I wasvery honest with.
I've been very honest with allthree of my partners.
Like that's not from the veryget-go and I was like, if that's

(12:22):
not something you're into,that's fine it just is not for
me.
Yeah, and that's like I neversay never.
It's not right now, yeah, neverknow.
I got a dentist to worry aboutokay, not another boy down the
street.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
Do you know about?

Speaker 1 (12:34):
like weekend boyfriends?
Yeah, I'm familiar okay.
So, like you know, you end uplike hanging out all the time,
you end up like going out todinner together, just keeping
kind of in touch throughout theweekend, and experiencing a lot
and having a lot of sex, yeah Ilike, so prefer that over like a
different guy every nighthonestly, because there's like

(12:55):
safety and secure, like there'sjust like you know the
expectation, you know it's gonnabe good, but then also, like
you get the fun playful, likeout like outside of the sex yeah
, yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:05):
And you get to fun playful like out like outside of
the sex yeah, yeah.
And you get to like hold handswhen you're walking down the
street together and yeah, allthe other like cutesy stuff okay
, and that's where we can align.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
I support that journey because I think I could
do that yeah if like, especiallyif the sex is great the first
night.
So why do you prefer, preferthat over like you were there
like four nights, five nights,how like?
Instead of four or fivedifferent people?

Speaker 2 (13:30):
well, one is if you get an std or sti, then you know
who it came from.
Number two is because I likethe like, cutesy, romantic stuff
.
And number three is because forme, like, the more sex you have
with someone, the better itgets, because you learn each
other's body yeah, wow which Ilove.

(13:51):
Would you, I mean would youagree, like do you think that's?

Speaker 1 (13:56):
yes, the case for you .

Speaker 2 (13:57):
Yes or have you ever had a weekend boyfriend?
I have so at like softballtournaments, that that happens
to people frequently yeah,that's kind of what I was
thinking, or it's people wholive in other cities and you're
just constantly weekendboyfriends like multiple
weekends out of the year.
Oh, that gets dangerous.
No, because, like you justleave it there and then you know
, okay, okay, then you don'treally like stay in touch as
long as you can.

(14:18):
Yeah, which is crazy Because Ican be in like and like that,
like emotional trend, like uh,for a period of time and then
like they flutter away withoutthe commitment and once the
commitment gets there yeah, thecrazy switch is turned on okay
also, when I do just like hookup versus like a weekend
boyfriend or even like when I'mnot on vacation and I'm like

(14:39):
dating and I just like need tofuck and I I'm not just looking
for a date.
The people that I'm trying tohook up with are nines and tens.

Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yeah, sorry, I was trying not to make that much
noise at the wine bottle.
Yes, Do you feel like?
When you say that, are yousaying that when you're dating
you go for a seven or eight andthen?
Whenever you're trying to fuck,because you want to get your
money's worth Exactly.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
And then like or seven or eight, and then
whenever you're trying to fuck,because like you want to get
your money's worth exactly, andit's like a nine or a ten, like
they don't come around all thetime and maybe it's that I'm
like saving it up for someone,that's like really fucking hot.
But also like I don't care ifthey have a personality, I don't
care if I'm like going to beromantically interested in them,
like you're a nine or a ten.
So it's like I'm definitelygoing to fuck you.
But if it's like you know a sixor a seven, then I'm like well,

(15:29):
I don't even know if I'm goingto be able to get hard for you
and I, if I can't do itphysically, then I need like the
emotional connection to likeget me hard.
So if I, if that's not there,then I'm really risking the
biscuit so so are you.

Speaker 1 (15:44):
You're like almost in between demisexual and not.
I think so because yeah, but itdepends on that, so I'm just
like normal, yeah yeah, ifthey're really attractive, I'm
definitely gonna like try tohook up with you.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
If you're not, then I'm probably gonna try to date.
You wait, you know what I meanyeah, that makes so much sense.
Yeah, you're, yeah, type andthe guys that you unless I have
a caveat, I think so you hit thepillow guys.
If they're a nine or a ten, butthey used to be fat, then I'm
definitely gonna try to date youinteresting.

Speaker 1 (16:19):
You so confidently say that?
Because I think I yeah I lookfor more of like a nine with uh
nine inches do travels um?

Speaker 2 (16:32):
okay, so we're gonna do a segment called where I'm
gonna where.
I'm gonna ask Caleb some likegrinder terms, like part of like
gay hookup culture, and we'regoing to see if he knows the
answer.
Okay, what does host mean?

Speaker 1 (16:50):
Can you have, can we have sex at your house or your
place?

Speaker 2 (16:54):
Yeah, so the host is the person.
That is the host whose houseyou're going to physically,
geographically.
Yes, yeah, yeah okay, that'sright, okay, great, um okay,
what does bwc mean?
Is it big white?

(17:14):
Cock oh my gosh.
Okay, also there's bbc right,yeah, that's where I'd say it,
radio one, no, not bbc the radioor the tv station, that's big
black cock and I just feel like,if there's bbc and bwc and all

(17:37):
the colors of the sea, why don'tyou just say hung, that's what
it means.

Speaker 1 (17:43):
That's what it means, because unfortunately, people
love just to put like race intoit, yeah they're looking for a
specific color, complexion,color of a penis for their
experience, which is shit Isthere like an alopecia dick.
I'm not going to share that.
Caleb, why can't you share that?

Speaker 2 (18:06):
That's so fun.
Do you have alopecia?

Speaker 1 (18:07):
on your dick.
No, just that, like I'm notgoing to say that, yeah, it's so
juicy, but I, as someone whodoes look at the complexion of a
penis, Intently yeah, becauseyou're down there for a long
time.
No, because if I can justglance at it, I'm like no, no
thanks.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
Like you know if it's a good one or not.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
And I'm not even I'm such a.
It's almost like let me feelits aura real quick.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
With your mouth.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
No, okay.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
Just in its presence.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
Yeah, like, does it match the person I was dancing
with at the club?
You should start doing penisaura readings.
This is, and I describe them asCrayola colors, yeah, and then
you take a picture of it andlike the aura develops.

Speaker 2 (18:54):
Okay.
Next is BB.

Speaker 1 (18:57):
Bareback.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 (18:59):
You cannot spell bareback without Reba.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
Then what does that mean?
What does bareback mean?

Speaker 1 (19:03):
No condom, yep Just penis in booty hole, which is so
less common now because PrEPit's so approachable and
everyone has it and Doxy Pep.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
Did you say it's so much less approachable?

Speaker 1 (19:18):
I guess it's so much less used, I think Bareback.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
Oh, condoms yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:25):
But the bareback term is not used as much because of
that.
Like people are just, I thinkpeople are assuming it'll be
bareback, unless someone haslike condoms only.

Speaker 2 (19:31):
I would agree with you in my experience, that was a
cultural shift too was it not.

Speaker 1 (19:35):
I yeah like I was terrified to have sex without a
condom for my most of my like20s and because you know people
I was like I used the aidsepidemic to be homophobic yeah,
100 so like well, if you'regoing to do it without a condom,
you're going to die.
If you're going to do it anyway, this small piece of plastic

(19:58):
can help, maybe prevent yoursins from killing you yeah, I
mean talk about likeinternalized homophobia.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
I was like the thing that I'm doing, you know, the
gay sex is like so dirty or sowrong or is gonna kill me and
that's a huge turn off but likewhen prep came out, oh, my god,
I remember people getting on it,can you?
Explain, as like a nurse, whatPrEP is for our listeners.

Speaker 1 (20:25):
Yes, so um.
So CD4 cells have two receptorsand that's where HIV attaches
to.
So what PrEP does is it blocksone of the receptors, so HIV
molecules cannot attach to yourCD4 cells.

Speaker 2 (20:39):
So basically it's like a pill that you take every
single day so that if you areexposed to HIV during sex, that
you can't actually contract it.

Speaker 1 (20:48):
PrEP is a condom for one of the receptors on the CD4
cell.

Speaker 2 (20:51):
Most of my friends call PrEP birth control because
they take it every day just likebirth control.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
Yeah, yeah, that's what it is.
I need to share some fun factsabout PrEP because people are
well educated on it.
Prep doesn't start workinguntil seven days after you've
taken it consecutively.
It works best when you take itthe same time every day.
Um and I noticed it with umdescovy at first it made me more
nauseous than juvada so if youexperience that, don't let it

(21:17):
deter you, just eat it like.
If you feel like nauseous whenyou're taking it, eat it with
with some food.
But that's most important aboutPrEP is full seven days before
you can be.
Whatever percentage theypromise their med is effective.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
And then you can BB all you want.
Yeah, you can Reba all nightlong.
Oh my gosh, you're welcome.
Yeah, okay, the next term thatI have for you is safer sex,
because I feel the next termthat I have for you is safer sex
, because I feel like safe sexwas all I heard and then, all of
a sudden, safer sex came up andI was like wait, what does that
mean?

Speaker 1 (21:55):
Is that just like precautions, like?
Does that like, does it havelike a range Like precautions as
far as like condom and prep, orjust just condom or just prep,
or is that like you're prettyclose?
Is it like a?

Speaker 2 (22:08):
scale.
Yeah, you're pretty close.
Basically, the word safe sexhas been like retired because
there is no real safe sex, likeeven with a condom, like there
are chances of you gettingpregnant or not you, but you can
keep trying um or catching youknow a sti.

Speaker 1 (22:28):
But it's been replaced by the term safer sex
because there are precautionsthat you can take, whether
that's prep or a condom or whathave you, in order to stop the
spread of diseases, infectionsand unwanted pregnancies what
also de-stigmatizes the sti thatsomeone has, oh like dirty

(22:52):
versus clean like that used tobe you clean question mark
exactly, yeah, and I think thatthat's going away too yeah so
the whole idea I mean cleanquestion mark came from like I
want, want to have gay sex, butlike I was told that if I have
gay sex I will die, if I get HIV.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
That's what.
That is where it came from.
God, we're all, and that's why.
What I just asked now is when'sthe last time you were tested?
It was more than three monthsago.
We're not going to have sex,probably.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
Which you could tell that Grindr's getting more and
more with, like what's happeningin society, because I'll add
more and more questions.
Like monkey pox is on there.
Do you remember when that was athing?

Speaker 2 (23:31):
I was scared to death because you could get it just
like dancing at the bar yeah,and now they have your vaccine I
got both of them, yes and thenliterally then nothing, then it
went away.
I know, I kind of thought thatmight happen, but it was right
after covid, so it was like,well fuck, I better just like
get it.
Okay, I would say you didn'tquite get the how was that?

Speaker 1 (23:53):
it was not good okay um what's a non mean um, is that
like face down, ass up, likethey don don't want to be seen?

Speaker 2 (24:05):
Correct.
Okay, I mean, but it could beon either end.
They don't have to be thebottom, like they don't have to
be ass up.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
I think a lot of times people are like
advertising, like if they're thebottom, they are looking for
people just to come in and dothat.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah, do you know what anon stands for?
Anonymous?
Yeah, so basically it's likesex without connection, or like
ever meeting each other, ormaybe ever like seeing each
other's faces and like I wouldsay like glory hole.

Speaker 1 (24:32):
Stuff is like anon I so have to, god, I have to take
human sexuality, because I haveso many questions.
Keep going, keep going about.
Like where I was talking.
I was writing down how myexperience that which I don't
necessarily love to, to label asdemisexual, like my sexual
attractiveness or sexuality,increases when I'm more

(24:54):
attractive I you don't like toidentify as demisexual.

Speaker 2 (24:58):
Is that what I just heard?
I think so, but like maybe thisis not coming out as a
demisexual, I don't know,because it just feels weird to
label what feels normal to me assomething you know I'm already
gay and then to like have like afurther filter, just seems odd
yeah, that's why I love theyounger generation and they're
like fuck it, like I'm not gonnaput a label on whatever it is

(25:18):
that I am, because it's probablygonna change throughout my life
or mood or you know whateveryeah, because also, like I, have
done things that aren't verydemisexual and so like I just
feel like it's weird to label,is that?

Speaker 1 (25:33):
because it's almost like like oh no, caleb, you're,
you're demisexual.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
No, you can't do that well, it's like me and I had my
weekend boyfriend and we got toknow each other and had like
really good sex.
But I also took a guide to theTikTok.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
Every time you say that, I'm like, oh my God,
TikTok.
No, that's very different sotell us about this video
experience.
If someone was there recordingin real time, what did it look
like?
The TikTok, yes.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
Well, it was very dark and it was underneath um a
dock on the beach and all of thegay boys, after um the club
shut down, go out underneath thedock and there's just a lot of
getting naked and messing aroundand a lot of hard dicks and um

(26:21):
yeah, isn't sex in publicillegal?

Speaker 1 (26:25):
I would say, what is it called?

Speaker 2 (26:29):
public indecency yeah , but it's not.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
I think it's just not enforced in certain locations
because it's like a safe areaand so people can go, like
people of that community can gothere, feel that, feel the, but
then also like almost it's sofrequent, we don't even have
enough room for people.
If we're going to keep chargingthem with that.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
Some people like having public sex.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
No, I'm just saying, as far as the fact that there is
a section where people can dothat, that's wonderful.
But I just wanted to.
I'm just curious, because ifyou were doing that out here on,
the I-5, you'd get arrested.
I'm just curious because, likeif you were doing that out here
on the I-5, you'd get arrested.
It's kind of just like thisunspoken rule that like the

(27:11):
community knows it and then likepeople like law enforcement
around knows it, so they justkind of like turn the other way.

Speaker 2 (27:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
I mean, everyone knows what's going on and it's
very easy to avoid.
It's just like a gay beach.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
You can take a whole ferry avoid.
It's just like a gay beach youknow, a whole fairy or like a
nude beach.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
If you're straight you know it's just like.
It's usually like up around acorner where it's like beyond
the line of sight of the otherpeople who are clothed and don't
want to see naked people on thebeach.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
That is true what I will say majority of the LGBTQIA
are there.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
You forgot the plus.
You forgot the plus.
Oh, the plus.
Yeah, I'm so glad you called meout for that, because I really
try to be very, very cognizant.
Inclusive.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
Yeah, Um, I would say that my in my experience,
straight people are doing morelike PDA than gay people that I
see when I choose theenvironment, straight people
yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:03):
When I choose the environment, oh, straight people
yeah.
When I choose the environment,because if I'm at a gay bar,
that's different.

Speaker 1 (28:05):
Yeah, but that's to be expected.
But out in general publicthere's not as much PDA from gay
couples, and that's saying thateven moving from Tennessee to
Seattle in comparison tostraight couples, mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 (28:17):
Okay, but I do think that it's funny that straight
people think that it's like wildand crazy to get fingered in a
bathroom at a club.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
But for straight guy or for gay guys it's like pretty
common to like get banged byfive guys at once and that's not
really that wild or crazythat's so crazy because even if,
like if your sister came andtold you or no, I don't use that
even if you had a friend thatwas a girl and I was straight
told you the same story, wouldyou not, in your brain, react

(28:49):
differently?

Speaker 2 (28:51):
oh, told me that they got banged by five guys.
I think I would say get a girl,you just like get a girl?
yeah, I would just be like get agirl, I hope that's what you
were looking for that night.
Interesting, okay, yeah, Iwould just be like get a girl, I
hope that that's what you werelooking for that night.
Interesting, okay, yeah, Iactually people, girls have come
to me straight girls have cometo me in the past being like, oh

(29:14):
, I was like at this club andthere were these like five hot
guys and they like all wanted totake me home and I just like
really wanted to do it and thenmy friend who was being a bitch
just like took me away and Ididn't get to like you know it
to happen, but I would have andI was like, yes, I don't.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
I want to say something without sounding
ignorant.
And I think it's because fromthe location, geography, where I
was raised.
My innate reaction is there.
It is perceived differently andI think it's because the one.
There's probably some ignorancetied to it, but then, like I
think, my brain can like shiftfrom being in a straight

(29:53):
person's world to being in a gayperson's world and I think if
I'm speaking to a straightperson, depending on how much
they're like open about theirsexuality and like exploring,
like they share, share detailswith me, like some of my friends
are like, okay hell yeah, justfive, not more yeah um.
But then there's people that Ican like switch on my straight
brain and like well, how do wefeel about that?
Right like I, does that makesense?

Speaker 2 (30:15):
yeah, like I go out of.
Why do you?
Why are your reactionsdifferent for boys and girls?

Speaker 1 (30:21):
and I don't mean yeah , because straight people and
gay people.

Speaker 2 (30:23):
i'm't even.

Speaker 1 (30:24):
Yeah, because even if a straight man came to me, I'm
trying to think about that,because even if a straight man
came to me and this is going tomake me sound so ignorant- but
even if a straight man came tome.
I think it is gender and Ithink there's ignorance and I'm
just going to God that probablyshould be on the internet, but
Because?
But I'm just being honest, likeyeah that isn't an innate
reaction that I combat in realtime.

Speaker 2 (30:43):
I try to do it like you because it was not in the
right one.
Okay, what's npnc?
No pic, no chat uh-huh, which Imean people still like her on
tappy regardless oh 100, andthey're going to like send you a
picture of their butt orsomething, or their asshole and
there's never a time I'm gonnabe like, yeah, I don't engage in

(31:05):
that I know and like when youliterally say like you must show
your face in order to chat andthen they message you anyways
with a blank profile.
How fucked up is that it makesme so angry.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
I don't think it's why kyle.
You all have, you all have thesame goal.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
It really only makes me angry when they have like a
six pack and they look like theycould be a 10, but then they
don't send you their face pic.
I'm like, okay, I want torespond, but I'm not going to,
because it says on my Grindrprofile that I'm not going to
respond to you and you want tohold the boundary, and I do.

Speaker 1 (31:39):
I do Because if you start giving into that boundary,
it I do Because if you startgiving into that boundary, it's
almost like they're going toshare with the other headless
torsos.
Right, you have to enforce thatboundary, yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:54):
And did you know that actions influence beliefs more
than beliefs influence actions?
Are you losing your mind rightnow?

Speaker 1 (31:59):
Yes, do you know what that means?
Yes, I am following, but nowI'm just applying it to all the
topics that we're talking about.

Speaker 2 (32:05):
So, basically, beliefs if you have a strong
belief that, like you shouldn'tsmoke or you shouldn't drink or
do drugs because that's bad foryou, right, that's your belief.
That doesn't influence youractions to actually do those
things as much as doing thoseactions change your belief.

(32:25):
So there's more influence onthe actions you take.
So you do end up having a drinkor you do end up having a
cigarette or you do end up doingdrugs.
Those actions alter the beliefsthat you had before that you
shouldn't do those things.
And when do them?

Speaker 1 (32:43):
now, all of a sudden, you you think maybe they're not
as bad as they were this ispeople who are homophobic and
they go and they open their mindto like I'm going to experience
it, and then they slowly startbecoming less and less
homophobic, like if they're likeoh yeah, I mean by experience
experiencing it, are they?

(33:03):
Like instead of like being likehate speeching of it all, like
they're just gonna like.
Let me just try like go to apride event that are like be
around gay people, like that'sthe thing.

Speaker 2 (33:12):
People like oh, like oh, I thought you meant like
suck a dick kyle like I'll justtry.

Speaker 1 (33:18):
I'll just try it out I was thinking of like a little
mammal back home in Tennessee.
Like saying it's like spewingnegativity or something, but
like.
And then they finally meetsomeone who they really enjoy,
but like.
And they happen to be gay.
They're like well, maybe gaypeople aren't that bad.
Oh yeah, 100%.
That's like where I was tryingto get at, not the dick sucking.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
Now I get it.
Yeah, that is 100% true andit's been shown in like polling,
research and stuff that itworks with homophobic people to
pass gay marriage.
It's working with pro-lifepeople who want to ban abortion.
If you hear the stories and youexperience the stories of the
people living it, then that isthe best way to change someone's

(34:05):
belief.
You're humanizing it Exactly,but that's also why people
insulate themselves into littlebubbles and they don't go out
and see the pride parade orinteract with gay people or talk
to people who had to havelate-term abortion because there
were issues with the fetus orwhatever.

(34:26):
People don't like their beliefsquestioned, or people don't
like to have to question theirbeliefs because of new
information.

Speaker 1 (34:35):
Really, so then they remove themselves from the topic
or the conversation becausethat's their way of controlling
their belief system.

Speaker 2 (34:46):
Yeah, and all of that just from npnc.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
good work I'm so glad I need to write these down um
what does?

Speaker 2 (34:53):
dl mean I love a good deal.
The queer brain of it all um.
Is that like a southern thing?
I think so.
I think I have some homophobia.

Speaker 1 (35:03):
You know what we want to talk about.
Like our best sex.
Best sex ever had was with abisexual man but that's not DL.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
I know, but at the time they were, that's actually
the opposite of oh okay, got it.
It was my train of thought.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
DL is down low, yep, uh, but on the low is how I
think about it.
Like mean, like I don't besharing my pick with everyone,
but I think it's all a lie.
Like hey, like I'm not tryingto be outed.
Who the fuck's going out?
You bro?

Speaker 2 (35:29):
I think it's becoming the new kink I I could see it
as a kink in the kind of likethe anon family yeah, like a
straight for pay, but likethey're not getting paid yeah,
or yeah, a little queer babytiktok does it to me.
I think that that is your, thekink that you're most closely
aligned with like if I was goingto hook up.

Speaker 1 (35:51):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, if you're gonna go after a little,
hey, fuck yeah if you're gonnago after kink, that's where
you'd go yeah yeah, okay, um,what's a gold star gay?
Is that the top of them, justin the order?
So there's like platinum gold.
Gold is like C-section and thennever slept with a woman.
Or is that platinum gay?

Speaker 2 (36:12):
Gold is you've never slept with a woman.
Platinum is you've never evenlike touched a vagina.

Speaker 1 (36:19):
Because you were a C-section.
Because you were a C-sectionyeah, which is so crazy.
To me, it is insane.
Touched a vagina because youwere a c-section yeah, which is
so crazy, it is insane.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
Yeah, yeah, I've touched them, but only in a
medicinal way.
Oh yeah, you have becauseyou've given like catheters and
stuff, right, yeah, or that'snot the same hole, but yeah yeah
, but you're still.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
Uh, there's been a mini catheter center that ended
up in the vagina and not theurethra oh yeah, you told me
about that one who had a fistulaand it was coming back.
I had three of them in thatwoman's hoo-ha and it was still
coming out of a different hole.
It was perplexing oh my god,okay, okay.
Why do you think like?
Do you think it's almost like a?
No, I'm a gold star gay, but Ithink it used to be, but now

(36:57):
it's kind of like like hee, hee,ha ha right, I've always
thought it was just hee, hee, ha, ha like.

Speaker 2 (37:03):
Oh, I don't.
I never thought of it as like astatus symbol I don't even
think status is like.

Speaker 1 (37:08):
I think it was like come on, now you think me.
Oh yeah, that's that's more.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
That's more what I think like.
It's more like no, no, no, Iwould never like.

Speaker 1 (37:17):
I'm a gold star gay, I would never I also feel safe
in their company because I'mlike how are you a a gay man, to
have done that?
Because, oh, bless them.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
I also think it's more of like a bottom thing
Right, you're just fucked myworld.
Yes, because it's like oh honey, like you don't even know me.
I could never Like, I wouldnever, I could never.

Speaker 1 (37:39):
No.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
Like not in any hole.
That was the last one, okay.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
Should we not?
No, like not in any hole.
That was the last one, okay,should we do our victory advice
yes, and describe to them whatour category for the victory
advice?

Speaker 2 (37:51):
is okay.
Well, since we're like talkingsex positive stuff, I was
thinking that I was going toshare my best hookup and my
worst hookup as my victoryadvice my, so my victory is the
most memorable or funnest storyto tell okay uh about a sex, a
sex experience, and then I'mgonna think of my uh vice on the

(38:15):
fly okay, so I'll start with mybest hookup story.
It was when I was living inNorth Carolina and I was a
bartender there at a gay bar andthis like really cute guy walks
in and he was really tall and alittle bit like hippie-ish but
like young like I think I waslike 23, he's really like 24 or

(38:37):
25 and he was like a regular andkept coming back in and just
had like the best energy, justlike like so sweet, so nice, and
I just like had a big crush onhim.
And then he became like my kindof vacation boyfriend, if you
will like, short term boyfriend,because I knew I was only going
to be there for like a couplemonths.
And the day that I left NorthCarolina I think it was like

(39:03):
five or six months later I hadlike a goodbye party at the bar
that I worked at and he wasthere and he stayed throughout
the night and we had bar over tothis golf course and just like
watch the stars.
I was like fuck yeah.

(39:30):
So we went out there and it'slike, you know, pitch black.
We start making out and thenit's like it's like warm because
it's like August or something.
It's like humid.
You can like smell the grass onthe like freshly cut field and
it just starts like pouring downrain and we're like getting wet

(39:52):
so we go over to this bench.
It was like a couple yearsafter the whole like um, spider
man, like upside down kiss thing, so I laid him down on the
bench and then started makingout with him under like upside
down in the rain and then welike, yeah, fucked on the golf
course.
It was so romantic the way thatyou just explained it.

(40:17):
I'm just envisioning like staythere, and then you're turning
upside down and like he waslaying on the table with his
head kind of like off the tableand I was like above, standing
above him, oh, leaning over andmaking out with him upside down
yeah, that's a throat goat, asword swallower yeah, well, I'm

(40:39):
not gonna say, if we did thattoo, but we did.
I'm not'm not going to say, butwe did.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
Yeah, well, we did.
Okay, it was just like soromantic.
Okay, so you want me to go toSpy Victory next?
Yeah, okay, it was at the DixieChicks concert.
The Chicks, oh the Chicks, yeah, not the Dixie Chicks, bringing
them back up from our musicepisode, episode um, I was there
and so it's at the gorge andthere are just porta potties and

(41:10):
there's no like physicalshelter other than the one you
can physically drive behind or amotorhome camping car or
something, or 10 and so I had alittle fling at the post chicks
concert after stargazing.
Um, we like, we're likecanoodling and they're like okay

(41:31):
, it's time to go to bed so ofcourse me popped my z-quill as I
do oh, okay, yeah and then it'slike two, three, probably like
two or three am a ding, not a.
It was a ding, it was a text oh, okay and then are you awake.
Yeah, I'm like barely um sothere's equal.
Yeah, I get out I get out ofthe tent and, like we're just

(41:53):
frolicking, through the fieldsand then things get a little
sexual with the in the sleepingbag.
And then next thing, I knowyou're frolicking through the
fields in a sleeping bag.
We're frolicking in the fields,okay, and this person is acting
like, like a salmon fishbecause like their feet are out,
so like they can't really run,so they're kind of like, like,
flopping, like flopping, andthen like they fall, and then,

(42:15):
like you know, things happen ina sleeping bag.
And then like what's thenearest shelter?
A honey bucket uh-huh and letme just the porta potty yes, and
this time I knew what went inand went out.

Speaker 2 (42:26):
But um, unlike our last, this episode, oh my god,
uh-huh, um, so they weren'tdoing any inner child work in
there.
Is that what I'm hearing?

Speaker 1 (42:36):
I was barely, I was barely doing good to stay away
so I take my z-quilt and likeI'm feeling very horned up, but
then it kicks in and I'm likethere's no way I can do this
right now.
I'm about asleep, I don't knowwhat's going on back yonder, and
so what's the only logicaloption?
Me to top in a honey bucket.

Speaker 2 (42:56):
You're tired so you're going to top.
That seems counterproductive tome.

Speaker 1 (43:04):
No, because I mean, I was still like the top version
of starfishing.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
I was just sitting there, oh okay.
Oh, you sat on the honey bucket.
I put the and they wrote ityeah, wow, okay, I'm impressed.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
I feel like a very safe space.
You don't know what like ifthere's any smells that happen
to come up which there weren'tany, but like it creates safety.
But but you know what?
They may have hand sanitizerand honey buckets they don't
have lubricant, that's true,which is another reason why I
was like oh no, ma'am,absolutely not, no so, yeah,
that's my favorite.
And he didn't care.
No, and that's equal, and Iprobably would have been like

(43:36):
less to care, but I was likethat's not going back back
yonder wow, I guess we just goback to our tent is that your
victory or your vice?
It was my victory because it'smy favorite like sexual moment
to share because I enjoyed itwith the person, but then also
just like it happening.
And now my friends make fun ofme for the honey bucket.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
Oh, absolutely, we will do that forever.

Speaker 1 (43:56):
And I appreciate it because it brings back such a
lovely memory.

Speaker 2 (43:59):
Should we do a poll to see how many people have had
sex in a honey bucket or in aporta potty or any sort of porta
potty?

Speaker 1 (44:06):
yeah, yes, okay, great and people better be
fucking honest.

Speaker 2 (44:10):
I'm not even gonna out you, but I do need to know
yeah, that's two episodes in arow when we're talking about
porta potties.
Shit goes down in a porta potty.
I like oh stop that.

Speaker 1 (44:20):
stop it right now.
But I like the accessibilityand you know what Gays are
efficient, go ahead.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
Okay, my vice is my worst hookup and, oh, oddly Okay
.
So I was living in NorthCarolina with my friend Alex
Girl or boy.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
Girl, girl.

Speaker 2 (44:42):
And her family came to San Francisco where I was
living after I moved out of herplace in North Carolina.
It was around Thanksgiving andmy birthday's around
Thanksgiving and they asked meto go to this really fancy
restaurant in San Francisco withthem to celebrate my birthday

(45:03):
because they were in town.
So it's very like strange thatmy best hookup happened around
them and my worst hookup but I'mon Grindr at dinner, which I
shame myself now for doing.
But I was like it's my birthday, so I want to have birthday sex
.
I'm in San Francisco.
I was like it's my birthday, soI want to have birthday sex.
I'm in San Francisco, you knowlike I should be getting

(45:24):
birthday sex.
And this really hot guy comes upon Grindr and is like talking
to me.
He's like what are you doing inSan Francisco?
I was like I'm celebrating mybirthday and he was like, oh,
like you should come overafterwards for a glass of
champagne and we'll like cheersto your birthday.
And I was like, oh, that soundsperfect because I was gonna get

(45:51):
my birthday sex.
So after dinner which wasamazing, thank you, alex and her
family I went over to thisguy's house in glenn park, which
is like kind of up on the hillin san francisco and he had this
like gorgeous house that likelooked over, uh, with like all
glass walls, to the bay bridge,and I was just like blown away.
He, we had some champagne, wehad some good sex, and then in
the morning he was like so thelike aston martin dealership is

(46:15):
having this like crazy financingthing and it's like zero
percent financing for like fiveyears, and so I was thinking
about like going to like buy anAston Martin.
Do you want to come test drivethem with me?
So I was like, of course I wantto go with you.
Also, like I think I've sharedin the past that like my

(46:36):
sister's dad bought and soldPorsches and Ferraris and like
exotic cars.
You never shared that.
I did not know that.
No, okay, that's what he doesfor a living.
So I grew up with like a lot offancy cars and so they're not
really that fancy in my head,but sure it is like impressive
to drop like a couple hundredthousand dollars like on your
second date or, like you know,day after your first hookup,

(46:59):
right.

Speaker 1 (46:59):
What else do you have to?

Speaker 2 (47:00):
do.
I had nothing else to do.
No, it was the weekend, youknow, so I was like sure, that
sounds great.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
It's your birthday.

Speaker 2 (47:07):
Yeah, it's my birthday, um, so I went with him
.
But before we left the house,this woman like barges in to the
house and she is like terrifiedand crying, and she's only
speaking french.
And have I never told you thisstory before?

Speaker 1 (47:27):
okay, she's if you tell me that's his wife or
girlfriend, I'm gonna shit breakokay, so she's crying anyways.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
He tells me that she is the ex-girlfriend of his
friend that had been like livingthere at the house with him
like for a month or two and hadjust moved out or something, and
that his car was still thereand she needed to borrow his car
.
So she was there to pick up thecar, but she was like
inconsolable and I was just like, oh my gosh, what's going on?

(47:57):
Like I need to give her a hug,like is everything okay?
I don't know how to speak anyfrench so away, yeah, yeah what
if I just started singing thatto her, oh my god.
So I'm like trying to consoleher.
She finally calms down and he'slike do you mind if she comes
with us?
I was like, okay, yes, that'sfine.

(48:17):
She clearly like shouldn't beon her own right now.
So she comes with us to theAston Martin dealership.
I don't know if you've everbeen in Aston Martin, but
there's like two really tinyseats that aren't really seats
in the back, at least the onethat we were test driving.
So it's like the guy that Islept with that is test driving

(48:39):
the car.
There's a guy from thedealership in the passenger seat
and then the two of us aresquished like in a space that's
small enough for like onesuitcase and, like a carry-on, I
will join you like a carry-on,yeah yeah, anyways, we test
drove one and I was like no, wedon't need to test drive anymore
.

(48:59):
And so he wants to test drive acouple more.
I sit with the girl and inaston martin dealerships you,
they give you like champagne anddrinks and whatever you want.
Basically, well, they're testdriving stuff.
So we're sitting there, you know, trying to converse via sign
language while we're sitting onyeah, while we're like drinking

(49:20):
some champagne after being likerocketed around in the back of
this Aston Martin feeling kindof queasy, and then he comes
back, we decide that we're allgoing to go out to oysters.
He's like signing the paperworkto buy one of these cars.
We go out to lunch, we get someoysters and more champagne and
he's paying for all of this,which I'm like, wow, thank you,

(49:41):
zaddy, this is so wonderful is aman of my dreams Like this,
man's just going to take care ofme.

Speaker 1 (49:46):
And bring a girl who only speaks French around.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
Yeah, I was like I can get past this.
It's fine, You're really pretty, you have a gorgeous house.
Now you have an Aston Martin,this little drama like a vishla.
You know what that is yeah,that's dogs type yeah it's like

(50:13):
they call them velcro dogs.
They're like they run and he waslike a runner and they're all
the same color and they're allthe same color, that kind of
like coppery brown color, andand we get back to his place
after lunch, he's sitting thereon the couch, we're like
cuddling on the couch, we'regoing to like turn on a movie to
watch or something, and he'sopening up his computer trying

(50:34):
to like transfer funds, to likeget this deposit to the car
dealership.
Hot, yeah right.
The Vizsla is facing the TVlike ass towards us and also
facing the front door.
The front doorbell rings atthis point the french woman had
left with the ex-roommate's car.
The dog starts barking, the doorstarts like rattling and then

(50:58):
the dog starts barking more andthen the door rings again and
this guy is just like sittingthere staring at his um computer
, not answering the door.
Did you answer the door?
No, okay, because then the doorlike busts open.
I guess he ended up having akey and maybe didn't think that
like anyone was home, eventhough the dog's barking and
clearly is upset.

(51:19):
I don't know exactly what hadhappened between him and the
ex-girlfriend, maybe they theyhad like just recently broken up
, but he is very annoyed thatthe dog is barking at him and so
he lunges towards the dog.
The dog is standing up facingthe door with his ass pointed at
me.
The dog, like projectile.

Speaker 1 (51:41):
Diarrhea is all over me at me the dog, like
projectile diarrhea is all overme, kyle, that is not where I
thought the story was going Iknow you're into scat play I
thought you were.
I thought that I thought theman had a french speaking
girlfriend, and then now there'sanother then, there's like a
french speaking or upset otherboyfriend that he has I thought

(52:02):
you got caught in like a lovefor square or something, but
you're telling me the story endswith you getting shit on by a
dog.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
Yeah, and then he doesn't even notice.
I'm like covered from like lipsto legs.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
Well, that that mustache needed some fertilizer.

Speaker 2 (52:15):
I guess this is before I had mustache, but I
like run off to the bathroom.
He's still like working on hislike astonston Martin paperwork.
I ran to his shower, showeredoff, took a pair of his like
sweatpants and a t-shirt and Icame out and I was like okay,
thanks so much, I got to go.

Speaker 1 (52:34):
Did you just like these clothes are dead to me?
Did you throw them away?

Speaker 2 (52:37):
Yeah, Yep, kyle, I know it started off so good and
then it just really wentdownhill fast.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
What the fuck?
Yeah, I thought I was watchinga movie because I couldn't guess
the ending.
And I was like okay, so there'sa girl.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
Well, the girl is just a character, and now the
Vizsla is the one who killed themurderer.

Speaker 1 (53:00):
Is the murderer at the dinner table.
Yeah, okay, what's your vice?
Okay, that was not near as funas that.
Okay, I think that I'll behonest.
I think I do have a lot ofshame around sex.
God, honestly after me talkingabout me shitting at a
port-a-potty, it just feelsnormal to share this on the
internet.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
But like a year ago I would never.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
I do have insecurities, like with my body
and how I feel or whatever umhow you feel.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
Uh like attractive yeah, okay, I think it ebbs and
flows and, but you get like likeeveryone wants to like dance
with you or make out with you orhook up with you in the clubs.
I mean, people literally comeup to you and you're like,
they're like, you're the mostgorgeous person here at the
Hannah Montana show.

Speaker 1 (53:46):
The times that it happened I was having way more
fun with y'all and didn't needthat, but I think that that
doesn't discredit the fact thatthat happens.

Speaker 2 (53:55):
Yeah, you're right.
You're desired, I want to Oneof my favorite things in the
entire world is like there'sliterally like it removes all
the pressure when you're likethank you so much and in a
different circumstance, likeyeah, maybe we would hook up.
But there's just like gettinghit on by someone and you know

(54:18):
you are not looking for it andyou're not going home with them
like you know what I mean itdoesn't feel that way to me at
all I know, but if you like setthe intention of like.
I'm just gonna appreciate thefact that this person is like,
adoring me like any othercompliment.

Speaker 1 (54:34):
Yeah, yeah, removing like the.
Oh, they won't have sex with memine and just be like oh,
they're just like.
Oh, you got a nice smile or youhad this.

Speaker 2 (54:40):
Or like a normal okay , yeah, I feel that I listened
to this real the other day.
That was like you know howsometimes someone says something
to you and it like really hurtsyour feelings because you know
that it's not true only becauseyou feel that way about yourself
yeah, so like someone calls youlike a little pussy bitch or

(55:05):
something you know and you'relike okay example I know that's
not true about myself, but like,why do you see that in me?
and it's like really pissing meoff or like causing me to like
go into this panic state or likestate of anxiety.
The like same thing is truewith people who can't take
compliments, like someone'stelling you that you're like

(55:27):
pretty, someone's saying thatthey're, that you're desirable,
and if you don't feel that wayabout yourself, then you're
gonna have that same anxietyresponse as someone telling you
that you're a pussy ass bitch100.

Speaker 1 (55:41):
But all of this to say is my vice is if you're
getting worth or validation fromsex and then if someone turning
you down or if you don't feelgreat about yourself but you're
looking for sex to fulfill that,it never will fulfill that part

(56:03):
of you.
And to me I felt that waymultiple times.

Speaker 2 (56:07):
That a wake-up call, it's like okay, you got to be
doing some inner child work onyour way to the port-a-potty or
something because yeah, well, Ithink the problem with it is
that it does give you a littlebrief moment of filling that
hole, you know if, if that'swhat you're looking for.
And so it's just like that hitof dopamine when you get when

(56:27):
you open up your cell phone andcheck your instagram or social
media or whatever, like you justkeep chasing that like high or
that like break that you getfrom feeling worthless or like
you're not enough okay, okay, um.

Speaker 1 (56:42):
before we close out and say goodbye to everyone, I
want to tell you my fun newthing to say on dating apps, or
even on grinder Um.

Speaker 2 (56:49):
Oh, my God, yes.

Speaker 1 (56:50):
Instead of just like a howdy looking question mark.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
Hey.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
I started recently and you should try it with a
nine or 10 out of 10 people,because it has gotten the most
responses.

Speaker 2 (57:00):
Oh, I can't wait Um, it has gotten the most responses
.

Speaker 1 (57:01):
Oh, I can't wait.
I was watching the Royal.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
Court.
I'll do it right now.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
I was watching the Royal Court the other day with
the girl from Twisters, the newmovie, and Brittany Broski, and
she asked her.
She said fuck, marry, kill,natural disasters Go.
Oh my God.
So let's start with fuck.
Okay, fuck and let's open.
Let me set the scene to naturaldisaster.

(57:23):
It could be a mudslide.
Yep, it can be an earthquake,so it doesn't have to be just be
crazy storms.

Speaker 2 (57:28):
It could be the fucking earthquake because it's
like high vibration.
I love an unsteady foundationgirl.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
Yeah, okay, so who are you okay?

Speaker 2 (57:36):
marry something like a little more boring you like a
little every day.

Speaker 1 (57:41):
Yeah, like a little like, what about?

Speaker 2 (57:43):
like a whirlpool?

Speaker 1 (57:45):
but I don't know that gives you a mean spin about.
Yeah, but they're like once youkind of once, you kind of like
learn, like used to it, like thecycle of the whirlpool, I think
like or a sinkhole.

Speaker 2 (57:56):
Maybe I like a sinkhole, that could be, I would
I would.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
that's pretty hot because, like you, like the
foundation being pulled fromunderneath you Fuck.

Speaker 2 (58:08):
I mean there's no good answer to marry.
I think St Cole's probably theleast of the evils.

Speaker 1 (58:14):
I think that an avalanche would be a decent one
to marry.
Okay, because you know thatit's probably going to be
happening and their top's goingto blow off at any time, but you
can prepare for it like I'mlooking up, like I know how,
like, if there's an avalanche,you have to create air pockets
like you're already you're ableto prep for it when it's built
up.

Speaker 2 (58:32):
When the snow's built up to a certain level, you
always have to have youremergency preparedness kit on
you truly, and that's like everyrelationship, really, I mean
honestly seeing things build up,taking your prep and being
prepped honestly yeah, that'swhat you're looking for, yeah
I'm glad that I could help youget there.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
Okay, who are we killing?

Speaker 2 (58:48):
and don't think of it as like, how, like the natural
disaster that kills the mostprobably like a hurricane or
something, just because I feellike there's no really good spin
on a hurricane.
Just really fuck shit up allthe time like okay, what do you
mean?

Speaker 1 (59:00):
you're telling their class five, they were just a
class one, two seconds ago.

Speaker 2 (59:03):
Right, yes, yeah, what made them?

Speaker 1 (59:05):
what made them get angrier?

Speaker 2 (59:06):
right, what did I?
Just a little bit of warm water, like that's it, and all of a
sudden they went from a two to afive.

Speaker 1 (59:13):
Okay, honestly, that's the most dramatic of all
the natural disasters.

Speaker 2 (59:17):
I think so too, and plus it could take out like an
entire state.
So I think you should sure.
Well, it's not like a littletornado.
Tortilla makes sense.

Speaker 1 (59:27):
You grew up in california yeah, tornadoes don't
really happen over there.
No, um, oh my god, we shouldend this because we've been
talking for a long yeah allright.

Speaker 2 (59:36):
Well, thank you all for listening and until next
week we wish you well, that wasbetter.
Thanks for listening to anotherepisode of Unfamously Unwell,
the unrated podcast hosted byyour two favorite Seattle
homosexuals on a journey tohigher health.
Listen each week as we deepdive into a new topic and give

(59:56):
you all the dirty details of oursuccesses and failures along
the way.

Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
You can send us your questions, feedback or share
your own victory advice bywriting to unfamouslyunwell at
gmailcom or by clicking the linkat the bottom of the
description to shoot us a text.
We'd love to hear from you andshare your stories on the pod.

Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
We'll see you back here next week for another
unhinged episode of Unfamously.
Unwell Unrated.