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This week, we're diving into the world of skincare, with Jamil as our honored guest and skincare guru. If you're like Kyle, and know next to nothing about skincare, then tune in for easy, affordable, and accessible tips and tricks to take care of your skin. In the episode, we reminisce on our acne struggles, share our current skincare routines (or lack thereof), and discuss our favorite products.  We also dive into the pressure of looking young—especially in the LGBTQIA+ community. 

The conversation swerves from hilarious skincare confessions to tangents about the side effects of Accutane that’ll have you cackling. Between genuine advice and laugh-out-loud moments, this episode is a fun mix of beauty, friendship, and relatable chaos.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back listeners to another episode of
Unfamously Unwell Unrated.
First, we want to shout out toour listeners from Seattle to
Knoxville and from Sweden toTaiwan.
We have a listener in Frankfurt, germany, and we really want to
know who you are, so send us amessage, do your homework like
subscribe and review and we'dlove to get to know you wherever
you're listening from in theworld.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Depends on the day yeah we might be busy.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
I depends on the day they could be over they could.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
I would love the people to reach out, but it may
take me a little bit to respond.
But we love you anyway, yeah gofor it, girl.
Honey, you're leading the introand I'm just here for the ride
okay we have our first guest ofthis season, season two.
Season two, we have Jameel,which is easy to pronounce, but
I've known you not even a fullyear yet not yet so it just

(00:45):
feels right that I'm introducingyou um.
We met.
Through what was it thunderdown under?
my birthday, isle's birthdayparty, yes, day with brian at
moose knuckle casino um, I justlove the name of that, because I
also saw leanne rhymes there,which in the same exact room of
the casino, which just seemsincorrect.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
That room.
The room was so weird.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
It was like a conference space.
Yeah, yeah, very much so.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
And we were the only men that liked men there.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
I think Close to it, there were a couple.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
Yeah, yeah, mostly old, older women.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
But we were going wild just like balls to the
walls, getting so drunk andhandsy.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
It was wonderful.
Honestly, that's my favoritetype of vibe like no, maybe not
the handsy, but like when olderwomen are just get too drunk and
get like it's just nice to likesee them let loose, yeah, yeah,
because they don't have a tonof opportunities to do that
agreed.
Yeah, um, but then we.
I think I first met you when Ipicked you up yes, because I
drove us down.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
I'm like hello strangers.
I think kyle may have had ahand in organizing carpools oh,
yes and yep he assigned us toyour car and it was fabulous was
there someone else?
In there.
Yes, oh, it was evan and caesar.
Yep, yep.
Well, what a car ride.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
I know I was just riding with all of y'all and I
didn't even know them that wellanyway, that's off topic, but
that's how I've known jamil.
But kyle, you set this upobviously.
So how did you guys meet?
How do?
You know him.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
I think it took us a while to figure out how we
initially met, and I think yourfriend Tommy reminded us that we
met 10 or 11 years ago at anAIDS life cycle.
What is it?
Lifelong AIDS Alliance.

Speaker 3 (02:23):
Yeah, fundraiser it was hosted there.
Yeah, like fundraiser it washosted there.
Yeah, right, yeah, okay, Ithink it was probably hosted by
Amazon or something and we havelike friends that work at Amazon
.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Okay, I just like wonder why I was there, Cause it
must've been like the firstyear that I moved to Seattle and
I didn't know anyone, and itwas um why are you laughing, you
?

Speaker 2 (02:41):
why are?

Speaker 1 (02:42):
you laughing, you chose that event?

Speaker 2 (02:43):
I don't know.
I must have been invited bysomeone.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
Okay, yeah, I think I mean that's how I went, because
I didn't work at amazon at thetime, but like yeah they.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
It was like an open invite, so okay, like we had.
I mean I remember that knewyeah, if you had friends that
knew it was happening, then youcould find out, you could yeah,
you could show up, yeah knowneach other for a long time but I
feel like we more reconnectedin the last, like two oh yeah,
two years.
At another friend, braxtonQuinton's, going away party yes,
yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
And their wedding yeah.
First their wedding, followedby their going away party
because they decided to moveyeah, and now they live in Palm
Springs Bastards.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
But we must have got like.
We must have like become prettygood friends for a bit, because
I did invite you to my 25thbirthday party which was at a
private karaoke room in aninternational district and I
will never forget that Kyle wasthe person who taught me that
Ellie Goulding is a great artistto sing at karaoke.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
I do actually remember that.
Yeah, I think I sang Love MeLike you Do from 50 Shades.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yes, Love Me Like you Do.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yes, yeah, yeah yeah, jamil is also very good at
karaoke.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
He's a lot of fun.
You give Orville Peck in thebest way.
Oh thank you.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
That is such a compliment.
He does really hit the lownotes.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
Do you hear it?
It's fun Friends in low placescould be your go-to.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
But then we really didn't reconnect until I moved
back to Seattle from California.
Yes, and I feel like that wentabout mostly through JJ, your
husband.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
Yeah, yeah, okay.

Speaker 3 (04:04):
You don't sound convinced.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
What are y'all bonding over other than karaoke?
Are you texting?
Are you besties?
Give me the juicy details.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
I think we're going to be bonding about skincare
after this.
I feel like we just have a lotof common interests and a lot of
shared values.

Speaker 3 (04:21):
Kyle teaches us about wine.
We have movie nights every oncein a while we like to go out
and dance and have a good timedancing, movies, karaoke and
shared values oh yes, you guyswere a part of our Hannah
Montana experience we sure were.
We're just always down for agood time as a loyal listener, I

(04:43):
was waiting to see if I mightget a small shout out, and it
didn't happen.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
Okay, wow, we let you down, but we gave you a whole
episode.
This is Jamil's version.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
Since we didn't shout him out, he gets a whole
version dedicated to him, that'swhy we're doing this episode.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Okay, okay so.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
So we're here to talk about skincare today.
So we're here to talk aboutskincare today and, uh, kyle and
I were chatting about thepodcast, I think one time we
were hanging out I think I askedyou to be on the podcast and
you're like oh my gosh, whatwould I talk about?

Speaker 1 (05:12):
and then I was like just think about it, no pressure
you can like talk aboutwhatever you want.
Yeah, and then you came to meand you were like okay, I'm
really passionate about skincareyes, I just love talking about
yeah and I was like I knownothing about skincare, so
actually this could be like agreat learning um episode for me
too and for our listeners outthere who, like, don't know a
ton about skincare or break itdown or are like me and just

(05:34):
like like to hear other people'sperspective.
Yeah, all the above.

Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yeah, um, I think this is a perfect time also to
issue a broad disclaimer thatI'm not a medical expert or have
any formal training.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
He's not a doctor.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
He's not a doctor, exactly and neither are y'all as
far as I know Well other thanour other, than our, our, our
nurse over here, hospice nursingisn't primarily skincare
focused, but I bet you deal withsome like bed rash or something
.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
Yeah, bed sores, bed sores.
Yeah, we don't know.

Speaker 3 (06:06):
I'm not a doctor.
Clearly to the end, to learnhow to cure that.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
That's what we're going to be discussing today.
Um, I was because I'm sointrigued by I bet we're on the
same sides of tiktok because I'mso intrigued by skincare, and I
am.
We were just mentioninginfluencers favorite market
because you could tell me itchanged your life.
Okay, my life's going to bechanged.
I'm buying it yeah, so I lovethat we're doing this topic
because, for one, I don't know alot of like education behind it
, I just know it frominfluencers.

(06:27):
But, um, I would love to likegather a routine maybe from this
or like in some insights wait,so wait.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
I actually didn't know this about you.
You currently wouldn't say thatyou have a routine you follow I
pick and I have.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
What my issue is is I buy so many products from
influencers then I just don'tknow how to incorporate it.
So then, every once in a while,I'll just buy a kit.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
So you have a bunch of products that you don't know
how to use.
Is that correct, correct?

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Thank you for summarizing that, because, yes,
that's exactly it, and I hearthis word routine thrown around.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
Is it really important that we follow?
Follow a daily routine?
They do say consistency is key,and I mean they say that in a
lot of things, in life, but theydo say that about skincare.

Speaker 3 (07:11):
Yes, that consistency really is key, so well I do
have a routine.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
It's very minimal, though.
Hot water, yeah, hot water,that's pretty much it.
We'll get into it.
It, we'll get into it, yes, butI want to also talk about.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
Maybe we all share our experiences with acne or
skincare.
When did we get into it?
And since you're the guest, I'dlove for you to go first.
So what was your relationshipwith your skin when you were
younger?
Did you take care of it?
When did you get into skincare?

Speaker 3 (07:39):
Yeah, I don't think I thought much about my skin
around puberty when some acnestarted to show up and I was
thinking what the heck is this?
I would like to get rid of itas soon as I can, so started
using some of the you knowproactive.
Well, I was never a proactivekid.
I was a proactive, wanted to be, but oh, never happened I don't

(08:02):
know if I could, just I don'tremember the exact circumstances
, couldn't get my parents to payfor it or whatever.
What it may be.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah, um, but I was just doing everything I could to
get rid of my acne.
Acne is like so uncomfortableand I just like remember those
like fiery pimples where youjust like it would like brush up
against something and like yourface felt like it was on fire
yeah, you feel like everyone'sstaring at it when you go to
school or you go to like asocial event and you just, you
know, maybe very self-consciousyeah, so I was.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
I don't even know exactly what products I was
using back then.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
I mean, I remember like the biore strips back in
the day like trying to get ridof blackheads oh yeah and is
that when you like first startedlike educating yourself on like
, okay, I need like these threesteps, or I need you know
something to like I don't.

Speaker 3 (08:50):
I know I definitely did not think about it as like a
routine at that point.
I just didn't have that levelof sophistication around it.
Um yeah, it was just.
It was very informal and justlike very all about how do I get
rid of this acne.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
I didn't care about, like, sun protection, I didn't
care about anti-aging.
I mean, you just, you're soyoung, you just, yeah, you want
to get rid of it.
And all the products were likedrying it out, basically,
alcohol straight to your faceexactly like we.

Speaker 3 (09:13):
Yeah the um the pad like the oxy pad oh yeah oh yeah
, oh yeah.
But finally I went to thedermatologist and they
prescribed differinin at thetime, which I believe now is
over the counter, but back thenit was prescription only.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
And I do believe it's like a Is it like an acid?

Speaker 3 (09:35):
It's a retinoid.
But it comes in like a clearcream form or clear gel.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
It's a gel.
Yeah, because they sell it as adifferent gel now.
Yes, yeah, but it's like thehighest strength
over-the-counter retinol at thetime.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
A retinoid, yeah right yeah, and it um it.
It works pretty well, I think Imean depending on how severe
your acne is, but it workedreally well for me, like I
remember starting to use it inhigh school and I kept at it
through college and even gotsome friends onto it oh my gosh,
you've been influencingpeople's skin care for decades.
Yeah, yeah the originalinfluencer like I don't know

(10:07):
about that, but um, yeah, what'sthe like prescription that you
take that like really dries outyour skin.

Speaker 1 (10:11):
Oh yeah, did y'all take accutane?
Accutane, that's what it'scalled.
No, but I had some friends inlike high school that took it
and like I literally watchedtheir faces like shrivel up and
it was like crazy to see butthen like their acne also like
cleared up, it was miserable.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
Yeah, I did it I forget how long it is like.
You have to do it for like acertain.
It's not 90 days, maybe it isthree months, I don't remember.
But you just are miserable theentire time.
Your kidneys hurt, you're dryeverywhere.
Your lips are peeling.
That's when I got addicted tochapstick um smuckers.
But I would go back and gothrough all that I mean not
smuckers.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
That's jam.
What's it called?
No, what's the one that had allthe different flavors?

Speaker 2 (10:48):
lip smackers, smackers yes you really had me
until you said jam, I was likeit was pepper flavor.
Yeah, yeah or starburst, Iwasn't there for the you just
eat them for the meal.
I was there, like I was when.
Addicted is like picking whichtype of chapstick, like you
could oh yeah shittybut they taste so good yeah so,
uh, I had to like get very pickywith which chapsticks I used,

(11:11):
but Accutane was miserable and Ithink that if you're pregnant
while taking it, you will givebirth to like a cigarette or
like an alien or something whoknows what's.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
Oh, because you have to get like um pregnancy test.
I remember, like my friend whowas on it she would get like
cysts in her.
What's it called there's?
Like cystic acne yeah, maybethat's what it's called um, but
she was on accutane so she hadto like get pregnancy tested,
like every month or a couplemonths or something.
Yeah, one time she got like afalse positive and she was like,

(11:39):
oh my god, I'm pregnant andshe's like I haven't even had
sex, so how's that possible?

Speaker 3 (11:44):
I can take.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
I'll be pregnant.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
Yeah, I use tretinoin now, which is like a you know a
different type of retinoid.
Retinoid yeah, you also can'tuse it while you're pregnant,
like I don't think you can touchretinoids, retinols, whatever
you Okay, yeah, you don't wantto mix the two.
I don't entirely know why but Ithink we should just trust the
medical experts.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
No one should get pregnant.
All of our listeners don't getpregnant.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
This is your PE education class on sex
protection.
Don't have sex, Otherwiseyou're going to die.
I want to know like.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
How did it feel as a kid growing up with acne, caleb?
Like bad enough that you had tobe on Accutane.
Were you really self-consciousabout your skin?
Did you not really care?
But your parents were like, oh,we should fix this problem for
you and you should go onAccutane.
Did it cause insecurities lateron, when it came to your skin?

Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yes, all the above.
I will start by how I felt,because whenever I took,
accutane was around the sametime I was coming out and
exploring the gay world, and soI was already very
self-conscious.
He came out when he was 16.
Correct.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
How old were you, Jamil?

Speaker 3 (12:57):
18.
Oh wow, and you were 18 also, Iwas 18, yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
Oh, it must have been something in the water back
then.

Speaker 3 (13:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:05):
Come on 18 also.
Yeah, oh, it must have beensomething in the water back then
.
Yeah, um, come on, carrieunderwood.
Um, I, I remember so like I wastrying to get attention from
like boys and stuff, and then myacne used to be horrid like I
had cystic acne I can't wait forthe instagram post oh yeah,
I'll do like a before and after.
I don't care okay but like Iwould never do that now, uh like
, uh post any photos about thesame level of acne, like I was
so insecure about it.
But I think going into datingmen or trying to like get

(13:30):
attention from men when it wasalready so taboo, plus having
this deep insecurity I thinkboth of those aligned, like
insecurity about being gay,insecurity about my skin and my
acne, so I don't know, I feellike they just compounded.

Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yeah, and you said, jamil, that your like skin
wasn't like super bad, but youlike had some pimples every once
in a while.
Yeah, so, like what made youlike really like dive into
skincare, or did it not reallycome up until later in life?
It was later in life, yeah, I.
I mean I've had a few friendsthat have been a lot more into
skincare than I have for a lotlonger and just kind of being in
their.

Speaker 3 (14:02):
Yeah I, I mean I've had a few friends that have been
a lot more into skincare than Ihave for a lot longer and just
kind of being in their orbit.
I'll give them a shout out.
The ones that come to mind areandrew hoagie and martha foley,
so if you're out there listening, shout out for all of your
inspiration.
They were always, you know,trying new skincare products,
telling me about them,recommending that I tried them,

(14:23):
offering like hey, do you, hey,do you want to try this tonight?

Speaker 1 (14:24):
A little sample.
Andrew and I were roommates fora while.
Do they work at Nordstrom?
Are they little Nordstrombeauty people?

Speaker 3 (14:31):
No, I feel like every time I go into.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
Nordstrom someone's like here you go, try this.
It's going to be great.

Speaker 3 (14:35):
No, I started using SPF regularly a while before I
got fully into skincare, but itwasn't until I was like 27 or 28
, I think specifically okay,when I went to costco, as I do
every once in a while, to do acostco run, and I saw a korean
beauty kit okay everything Ineeded in a box that was like a

(14:58):
eight or maybe nine step routineand it was labeled with the
numbers with each product andyou just bought the box.
It was like 100 or 125 dollars.
I was like you know what thatsounds like.
It's worth it yeah, and thatjust gives me everything I need,
because before I felt sooverwhelmed by the options and
like which order and like againandrew martha others.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
The internet had been saying like oh, you know so you
just had like a short report ofthings, yeah, and you're like I
have all these things.

Speaker 3 (15:23):
I don't know what to do with them, but now there's
this set that's like okay, yeah,everything's like in order, and
I know I have everything I needto be beautiful, exactly,
exactly I don't even know if Ihad even that many products
before that but yeah once I hadmy kit, I was set and I was
gonna follow every step and itwas just.
It really made me appreciate,like, how nice it can be to have
a skincare routine and just gothrough those steps and it feels

(15:46):
like a little bit of you timeevery day to really just take
for yourself yeah, way almostmeditative, yes yeah, okay, I
feel like I also started with acouple little products, but then
I got into like a kit that waspart of like nordstrom's
anniversary sale and it was likefive steps or something.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
And I like talked to the girl and she's like, okay,
do this in this order.
And I started using it and Istarted drying out my skin and I
started breaking out and I waslike, okay, fuck this, I'm not
doing this anymore.
Yeah, the purging, the purging.
What's the purging?

Speaker 2 (16:16):
like when you start new uh products.
Do you know about this?
Like, if you like, especiallylike acne products?
Like it brings a lot of the uhcrud out of your pores to the
top, so you, a lot of times, youwill react and get more acne at
the beginning, right and thenthat's why people stop using it.
Yeah, but when you're got your,you're talking about your eight
step, seven step skincareroutine and how there's.

(16:36):
There were so many products onthe market and even now there's
even more.
There's so many products, butvery little education and all
these companies.
It's like a free-for-all yeahthey're like oh no, use ours.
It's going to clear it like.
It's like it's like sooverwhelming yeah, and I think
it's so personalized too right,like would you say that, like
skincare routines are verypersonalized to like?

Speaker 3 (16:56):
what your goals are yeah, but how do you pick from
different brands and know like,like it's, there's not much
education for it yeah, I thinksomething to, something to keep
in mind too, and I will makesome comments, I'm sure,
throughout this conversation,that are counter to this, but I
hear a lot that less is more too.
You don't have to have a ton ofproducts and a really

(17:16):
complicated skincare routine,but I think you're going to love
my skincare routine.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
Oh boy, I'm a little nervous.

Speaker 3 (17:22):
I think everything that you choose choose.
You should know why you'rechoosing it not just because
someone says, use this like, youshould say I'm putting this
into my skincare routine becauseI'm hoping for this desired
effect, or I?
want more moisture, or moremoisture, or I want to help my
skin down the line, you know youshould always know why you're
putting something on your face,versus just like someone told

(17:45):
you to yeah, um, you should beasking why.
Now someone could tell you andif you really trust them, like
hey, but yet still you should belike asking why am I doing this
?
Like, what results have youseen?
And not everyone's gonna havethat like friend they can call
up, that's gonna know.
So you know there are lots ofresources online.
You just should be choosingwisely about what you're reading

(18:05):
and think about like who'spublishing this and are they
standing to gain anything from?

Speaker 1 (18:10):
it.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
You know, or are they just really just trying to get
information into the hands ofconsumers Right?

Speaker 1 (18:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
And, speaking of my friend, andrew also told me
about a resource thatunfortunately, no longer exists.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
It was called beautypedia.

Speaker 3 (18:24):
It was like Wikipedia , but just for beauty products.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
Wait, that sounds wonderful, and it's gone.

Speaker 3 (18:29):
I think it was purchased by another company
that I think well-intentioned,but it's just not the same
anymore.
And so it just doesn't functionthe same.
But that is where I did a tonof research, because I wanted to
find skincare products thatwere affordable, right for me,
addressing the needs of my skinthat I wanted to kind of resolve
and that were well-reviewed bycustomers and by skin experts.

(18:51):
So that's kind of what it didfor me at that point.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
So you are basically Beautypedia.
People say Skinpedia.
Do you have you memorized itbefore it came down?

Speaker 3 (19:00):
Yeah, yeah, I mean it was years ago, but I still
remember a lot of things thatstood out and one thing that I
learned as well like thinkingabout there's a lot of skincare
myths out there.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
Like, you do not have to spend a ton of money to take
care of your skin, there are acouple of you know types of
products that, yeah, you maywant to go for a fancier version
, but there are so many peopleout there throwing away their
money on super expensive facewashes, super expensive
moisturizers and those arethings where if you, I mean it's

(19:32):
just pretty easy and accessibleto find good quality products
at a affordable price it's sointeresting because I think a
lot of people who do havesensitive skin, they don't learn
until like they just have triedeverything and then they're
like let me less is moreapproach that you were talking
about, but I also love the dupeculture that we have right now
on social media for theseexpensive products.

(19:54):
Like this does the same andthey're explaining like it does
feel a little different but theresults are the same.
Or like this is the consistencyyou want, but La Mer
consistently gets really goodreviews, although it is super
crazy expensive.
I wrote down so many questionswhile you were just talking.

Speaker 1 (20:10):
Ask away.

Speaker 2 (20:10):
Okay, so you were talking.
So it relates to one of thesethings.
You were talking about puttingthings on your skin and it may
smell or feel great, but it maynot react well.
I immediately thought of semenon your face.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
Oh my gosh, which we don't have to include that part,
but it does tie.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
Which Wait, it does feel good on your face.
I don't like any of thatexperience.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
Oh, okay, but Some people love it, the smell, the
taste, the consistency, that's awhole nother topic.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
We don't have to include this too, but I let Walk
us through.
Like cleanser, do you do serumsLike what is your?

Speaker 1 (20:47):
What's your daily routine?

Speaker 2 (20:48):
Evolved into.

Speaker 1 (20:55):
So, I think every morning people should be washing
their faces and I go if I don'tdo it, or like ding ding ding
If I do.

Speaker 3 (21:02):
It's your podcast, I will say I will put an asterisk
around morning.
I do know some people and somedermatologists who skip the
morning wash because, they'vewashed at night.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
It also depends on the products you put on the
night before.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
Okay, wait, I want you to do it too.
Yeah, are the dings?
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
Oh, I wash my face every morning, okay Ding.

Speaker 3 (21:27):
Then you need to be either applying an SPF that is
moisturizing, or applying amoisturizer followed by an SPF.

Speaker 2 (21:38):
We have to get into that, because SPFs piss me off,
because the consistency of it ismiserable.
I've tried mineral ones, I'vetried all these.
I hate them.

Speaker 3 (21:48):
Have you heard about how the SPFs from other
countries are much more advancedbecause the US has not approved
any new sunscreen chemicalssince the 90s.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
Countries like south korea have these advanced
sunscreens that are much betterin so many ways absorption,
application, all these things,and and protection, because
their uh, health professionalsyeah whatever insert the right
terminology here have approvedthese things that the us has
just not prioritized for years,because I actually just used

(22:23):
like a korean sunscreen, uh,this past weekend and it went on
so smooth and light and no whatthe what's it called when?
Uh, white cast, white cast.
There's no white cast it waswonderful.

Speaker 3 (22:35):
Do you remember which , what it looked like or what
brand it was?

Speaker 2 (22:38):
it was called mermaid something mermaid sunscreen or
I don't know.
It's kind of gimmicky to meokay the name but I'm so.
I didn't get burned.
I am yeah.
Yeah, I've been influencedk-beauty.
I'm wearing.

Speaker 3 (22:49):
I'm wearing a korean sunscreen right now.
I applied it this morningwhat's the?
Brand.
Okay, so some of them arekorean names so bear with me you
don't speak korean no, no, no,sorry, um round lab is my
current favorite okay, it's verymoisturizing.
It has like birch sap or juiceor something in it it's spf 50.
Lovely, you should be wearingwhat's the minimum?

(23:10):
30 or higher, okay 30 is likethe the bare minimum, but you
should be wearing spf every day,even in the winter, um, because
there are still rays coming.
I mean, even if you just wantto prevent aging.
Yeah right, like we've only gotthis one face.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
Well, unless you got the money to get a new face.
Yeah, I started wearingsunscreen as like a means of
moisturizing because, yeah,every time I would get like a
new moisturizer to try out, itwould make me break out.
And so I was like the onlything that I could put on my

(23:48):
face that didn't make me breakout was like sunscreen, and for
the longest time, what I usedwas just like copper tone.
Oh, isn't that awful it's notawful because, your skin looks.
Yeah, that must be.

Speaker 3 (23:59):
Why.
What?
What age did you start that, doyou think?

Speaker 1 (24:02):
probably 16 or 17 or something.

Speaker 3 (24:06):
Yeah, that's great to this day that I mean yeah, your
skin looks wonderful and youwere in high school applying spf
every day you can't get thoseyears back because my proactive
moisturizer made me break out,so I used my toner and my
cleanser or whatever.
So you were just walkingthrough the high school halls
smelling like the beach andsunscreen.
I mean, I like the smell.
Personally it doesn't bother mebut people don't like it.

Speaker 2 (24:29):
So many of them are so oily and I'm a texture girly,
but okay, so Round.
Lab K-Beauty SPF.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
The other really popular brand right now is
Beauty of Joseon.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
Stop it.
I just recently got onto themyes, I have an eye cream coming
from them and my oil cleanserupstairs is from them.

Speaker 3 (24:44):
Okay, so now you just need to add maybe the SPF to
your cart as well.
I just prefer Round Lab alittle bit.
It's a toss-up and they'realways going on sale or changing
prices.
I think the price is prettycomparable.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
How much are we talking?
20 bucks, yeah, I would take 20bucks for a bottle that maybe
lasts a month, maybe a month anda half.

Speaker 1 (25:06):
See, I like to lather it on.

Speaker 3 (25:08):
That's great, yeah, I really do I buy the huge tubes
now of.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
Ulta MD Another good one.
Yeah, I like their stuff.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
Ulta MD is a really great brand.
I love crave beauty.
Start to the k k r a v.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
Is that another korean brand?

Speaker 3 (25:27):
uh, no, this one's in the us.
They're very like eco-conscious, eco-friendly, okay, um, really
good products.
They actually make another oneof my favorite products, which
we'll get to a little bit later.
I think, okay, um, but anyway,but in the morning, that's all
you really need to do, like youokay, say it again like bullet
point, because I've lost washyour face, wash my face, wash
your face.
Make sure you're using spf.
Yeah, either with a moisturizeror moisturize beforehand okay I

(25:50):
like to, you know, makeeverything easy.
So I have an spf that hasmoisture riser in it, which is
round lab.

Speaker 1 (25:56):
So that's it at night so just those two things that's
the bare minimum.
Oh my god, that's all youreally must do, okay yeah, but
I'm not gonna start cleansing myface or washing my face every
day.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
I'm a repulsor, I didn't why why do I have to do
it?
Think about everything you'reencountering throughout the day
like, yeah, like air pollution,yes, precisely cooking.
Um, if you're sitting oversomething while it's cooking, I
mean all of that all of that isgetting into your pore like
sitting on your face and you'regetting to wash all that away

(26:28):
and then put nutrients andmoisture on it.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
Skin is our largest organ.
Yeah, fun fact.
Yeah, I didn't know that, yeah,and you're just exposing it to
all of that every day.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
Okay, if we have any listeners.
In Columbia, south Carolina, Irecently met.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
I recently.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
sorry, it sounds like I just started an ad.

Speaker 1 (26:46):
It's possible.
I love this.
We want to hear from you.

Speaker 3 (26:50):
I recently met this great gal who runs her own I
don't know what you'd call itlike a beauty shop.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
She does spray tanning, she does facials, all
these things like an aestheticlike yes, yes, thank you, I
could not think of the wordmaybe um but I will.

Speaker 3 (27:07):
Maybe we can link to it or something.
She posted a great videoliterally like two days ago that
talks about like why you wouldnot want to skip washing your
face, and she has like thesegreat metaphors and it was.
It's pretty convincing, okay.
So at night, after you've gonethrough your day, you've been
exposed to air pollution.
You've been exposed to fumes,spices, aromatics, whatever the

(27:33):
world is throwing at you morecoffee.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
Food caught in your mustache that as well.

Speaker 3 (27:40):
Um, you want to wash again and I highly recommend
some kind of retinoid if you arenot pregnant or planning to get
pregnant only that sounded soaddy only at night.
Yes, oh yes, only at night Imean I mean I say that that's
just what's highly recommended.
Retinoids make your skin moresensitive to the sun.

Speaker 1 (28:02):
I've heard that.

Speaker 3 (28:03):
So they recommend that you just do them at night,
followed by a moisturizer andthen you can call it good if you
want to.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (28:09):
Okay, so those are the basics, like pretty, pretty
simple.
Wait, that's easy yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:14):
Okay, approachable.

Speaker 3 (28:15):
Another reason, though, why you may want to do
your retinoid at night because,going back to the morning, if
you want to get more complicated, the first step in kind of
advancing and uploading yourskincare routine is a vitamin C
serum.
I've heard enough peopletalking about how beneficial
vitamin C is for your skin andenlightening and brightening and
all the things I also recentlyheard about like ferulic acid.

Speaker 1 (28:37):
Never heard of it.

Speaker 3 (28:38):
Yes, and I found one.
So SkinCeuticals has a reallypopular one that is on the more
expensive side, but their patentis expiring next year, so that
means more dupes should be ableto come out.

Speaker 1 (28:54):
What does it do?

Speaker 3 (28:57):
I believe it's also about like lightening and
brightening and anti-aging.

Speaker 1 (29:01):
So you're saying I should try this once the patent
expires.

Speaker 3 (29:05):
Well, I found what someone says is the closest dupe
which is available at Targetand it was like I think it was
like 20 bucks for maybe twoounces or so, but you're using
so little of it that I thinkthat bottle's gonna last me
definitely a few months.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (29:24):
The next one on my list if you wanna continue to
try new skincare things is theMixsoon Bean Essence.

Speaker 1 (29:31):
Now Mixsoon Bean Essence.

Speaker 3 (29:33):
Yes, Bean Essence is the type of product, mixsoon's
just the brand.
Okay got it and this is forjust increased moisture and, you
know, elasticity of your skinand people just like love the
results they see and I like it.
It is what how it was describedto me is.

Speaker 1 (29:51):
People in korea have been using the snail mucin
forever and that like went viralin the us over the last couple
of years so is that like snailmucus yeah, oh yeah so I thought
for sure you were gonna be likeno, kyle, yes, it, it literally
is in, in, you know, obviouslyformulated into a bottle and it,
you know it doesn't.

Speaker 3 (30:12):
It's not really gross feeling in my opinion.
Okay, but I used it and, like I, I wasn't like wowed by my
results.
I was like, and it's, theapplication process, if you're
applying it correctly, is alittle like, in my opinion,
slightly too complicated.
During my skincare routines,I'm like I just I don't know
about this.
So I saw someone talking aboutthe bean essence.
They're like well, everyone inkorea has moved on from the

(30:32):
snail mucin now okay, um, andthis, and it's vegan, yeah,
exactly and one thing I think Iglossed over when it came to
retinoids and nighttime is I didnot discover tretinoin until a
handful of years ago.
I was going to thedermatologist, which is another
thing.
We should all be seeing adermatologist on an annual basis

(30:52):
oh, my gosh adam ripon wenttoday.
I said I will be talking abouthim later, oh great go to your
dermatologist on an annual basisand have your skin looked at to
see if there's any concerningareas in terms of skin cancer
specifically.

(31:12):
I mean you could be looking forany number of reasons, but you
should really be having yourskin examined by a professional
because you want to spot thingsearly.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
You know the A, b, c, d, e's of skin cancer and do
you want to say what they are?
Oh yeah, let's do them pop quizyou go ahead hey, asymmetry,
okay, yeah, okay, you guys gotit ding ding ding b.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
Border c.
Color d diameter e edges.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
That's right, I always forget E thank god
imagine.

Speaker 3 (31:41):
I don't think I knew any of them.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
I've been to the dermatologist once and it's
because I had scabies oh, ouch,yeah that sounds rough Caleb is
dying.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
I almost spit out my wine.
Thank you for sharing that.
Did you get it from a toiletseat?

Speaker 1 (31:56):
no, I think I got it from a yoga studio.
Ooh, did you get it from atoilet seat?
No, I think I got it from ayoga studio.
Fucking so I don't do yoga.
B-chrom yoga I like use someoneelse's matt.

Speaker 2 (32:03):
Never use someone else's matt, guys, I got scabies
well, you liked matt, he was anice guy not this one I want to
go back to your targetedconcerns, because then I would
love to go down the rabbit holeof food, alcohol and vaping
impact on skin, because that'slovely.
But okay, targeted, targetedconcerns.
We did eyes, we did retinoids.
Do you have?
Like?
Because like what is it now thebigger, like texture or

(32:26):
discoloration, vitamin C covers,or like what are other concerns
that people typically have?

Speaker 3 (32:32):
I think I mean anti-aging is just a big old
umbrella and no one intended itto be.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
I would say that that's my number one concern is
like wrinkles, yeah, yeah, orlike elasticity, yeah, which is
a newer thing, right like thelast decade, because, like 10
years ago, everyone was in thetanning bed every day right, but
we didn't fully understand.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
I don't think the impact of uvs on our skin.

Speaker 3 (32:55):
Yeah, and depending on your age when using said
tanning bed.
You may not have cared, even ifyou did know.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
Do you want to know a fun fact about skin elasticity?
Yes, do you know that peoplewho are like growers, not
showers, have more elasticity intheir skin and that's why it,
like, gets smaller and shrinksup when they're flaccid.

Speaker 3 (33:16):
That is not what I expected to come out of your
mouth Me neither I actually hada very clear prediction of what
you were going to say in my mind.

Speaker 1 (33:23):
That wasn't it?
No, well, that's a fun fact.

Speaker 3 (33:26):
That is fascinating.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
I am so glad you bought a penises because penis
skin complexion is so importantto me when it comes to like if
something is there is a doctorthat specializes in New York.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
Specializes in it in New York in the complexion of
penises.
I don't know, complexion is theright word, but um, let's just
say, like Botox for your privatearea.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
Oh, scrotox.
Have you heard of scrotox?

Speaker 3 (33:53):
I didn't know it was called that but yeah was called
that.

Speaker 2 (33:59):
Yeah, but yeah, yeah, to give you smooth balls.
So people should just startmasturbating with a moisturizing
vitamin c serum.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
Oh, we could is that gonna burn?
I don't again.

Speaker 2 (34:07):
I'm not a doctor, okay I thought you're speaking
from experience.
No, I do prefer moisturizer,but we don't have to include any
of that.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
But um, okay, wait I just like started using this
lube called uber lube.
It has vitamin a extract in it.
My dick has never been softer.

Speaker 3 (34:21):
I mean oh in a good way.
In a good way, Okay.
Well, I literally was like ohno, like the skin.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
He's like I'm no longer a shit eye in men and
women, anything.
So, bottom leg.

Speaker 1 (34:35):
That's cool.
That's nice.
That's cool.
I take care of my whole body.

Speaker 3 (34:40):
Yeah, I love that From tip to top to tail.
So, going just back to productsand skincare, the other one
that I want to give a big shoutout to is called Great Barrier
Relief, and this is by CraveBeauty.
A lot of their product namesare very punny, but this serum
slash moisturizer, it's kind ofa duel.

(35:01):
It is just so wonderful to myskin when I feel irritated, or
like my skin feels irritated, Ishould say not me when I'm
really irritated, I just slap onthe serum um my skin feeling
just a little irritated or dryor like maybe too much sun
exposure or shaving.
I mean like a lot of us well,all of us here at this table I

(35:23):
think, experience hair removalin some different way from our
faces and that has been aproblem for me in the past, just
getting irritated.
And that's actually when mydermatologist told me about
tretinoin, because it can helpwith skin irritation and it has
done wonders for me and ataround the same time.
So I don't know which productto award, like my like skin

(35:44):
savior more between tretinoin orgrape berry relief.
But my shaving irritation isalmost completely gone.
I still get it like a littlebit from time to time, but I was
at a point where I could notshave my face without just both
sides of my face being so redand I was so self-conscious and
just inflamed for at least a dayor two, yeah, and I was like

(36:07):
well, what do you do with that?
like I mean fortunately, thiswas, I think, during the
pandemic that this startedhappening to me, so like I was
staying home a lot but like andwearing a mask oh yeah, I'm sure
that wasn't helping, um, soanyways, I'm just super happy
with the irritation problembeing gone and I really just
recommend great barrier reliefto anyone who is just looking

(36:29):
for literally what it says likerelief for your skin like that's
like after shave, basically foryou I was always taught it's
important to exfoliate whenshaving, do you like?

Speaker 2 (36:40):
can you explain to me the idea of exfoliating Because
chemical versus physical?
Do you do it before or after?

Speaker 1 (36:45):
shaving.
I heard that because men shave,they don't have to exfoliate
their face as much.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
I've also heard that I think this is a really
person-dependent type ofquestion, but generally speaking
, I do think exfoliating isimportant to just kind of reset
your skin, clear everything off,get crap off your skin.
Um, the industry, from whatI've observed, is really moving

(37:12):
away from physical exfoliantsand moving towards chemical
exfoliants because they're somuch less disruptive to your
skin's barrier, because there'slike micro cuts yes exactly.

Speaker 2 (37:20):
Do you remember?

Speaker 1 (37:21):
St Ives apricot scrub yes.

Speaker 3 (37:23):
That's what.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
I used to use as a kid all the time and I like,
love that like it had likewalnut shells in it or something
and it would just like scrubyour face but it'll leave you so
dry.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
I don't think physical exfoliants are the end
of the road.
I mean, we think physicalexfoliants are the end of the
world we should not be using stives after, don't get me wrong.
Nothing but physical exfoliantsdo disrupt your skin barrier a
lot more and to your point,micro cuts etc.

Speaker 1 (37:48):
But you know, sometimes we really want to get
everything off and have thatnice soft feeling especially I
think on our bodies can be alittle different the other thing
that I've heard, and I don'tknow if this is true, but that
exfoliation prevents likeingrown hairs.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
So if you're like shaving your face or if you're
like prone to ingrown hairs,then you do want to exfoliate
well, chemical ones are workingbetter now because I well they
work better for me than aphysical one when I get my butt
waxed what is a chemicalexfoliant for your butt?
Like acid you put acid on yourbutt well, it's a tight, it's
like a serum and you're notgoing to understand like a skin,

(38:22):
a skin like a salad like an ahabha, oh, like a salicylic, or
okay.

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Yeah, I love it targeted concerns.

Speaker 2 (38:30):
Did you have more on your?

Speaker 3 (38:31):
list.
Oh well, we haven't talkedabout slugging.
When you really want to reset,okay, and I know it sounds kind
of gross and some people havetried it, some people hate it,
some people are very scared ofit.
I think it's.

Speaker 2 (38:44):
It sounds like you're describing a kink or something.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
It's like when you put banana slugs on their body.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
Or you can just pee on them and they shrivel up.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
Keep going.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
No, thank you.

Speaker 3 (38:54):
But slugging I have come to love especially.
But slugging I have come tolove especially after a maybe
overindulging on a night out orhaving a lot of sun exposure in
any given day or week or weekend.

Speaker 1 (39:07):
Okay, one, what is it ?
Two, what does it do?

Speaker 3 (39:13):
applying your moisturizer and then applying a
layer of some kind of purepetroleum, so a Vaseline or a
aquaphor.
Healing ointment is mypreferred one, and then you go
to sleep.

Speaker 1 (39:32):
I do that every day Go to sleep yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:35):
Cause you am I not supposed to do it?

Speaker 1 (39:38):
every day.
I mean you could, but Everymorning and every night.
So you're putting.

Speaker 3 (39:44):
It's like Ulta.

Speaker 1 (39:45):
MD post-procedure care.

Speaker 3 (39:48):
And you put it on your face every single day,
across your whole face.

Speaker 1 (39:51):
Uh-huh and neck, you've been slugging this whole
time.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
So I think you must have.
I'm a slugger.

Speaker 3 (40:00):
Straight men's skin.
I was.
I was gonna say, if you'reputting that on every day and
you're not appearing, greasy tous then you probably have pretty
dry skin, so your skin's reallytaking all that in, I think.

Speaker 1 (40:07):
So I actually started using it, like when I started
using like concealer under myeyes, because, like I would put
the makeup on and it like wouldnot absorb and it would just
like sit and cake on top so thenI started using this, like
post-procedure care, as mymoisturizer.
I don't use any othermoisturizer yeah but it it's
really just like a really thinpetroleum jelly, or is that wait

(40:29):
?
Is that what?

Speaker 3 (40:30):
you use yeah, yeah, yeah okay that's fascinating,
though, and okay, I guess, ifyou're, that's the only
moisturizer you're using, thenyeah, I guess it makes a little
more sense.
Yeah, an spf but yeah it hasmoisturizer in it, if okay, if I
were to I mean, I don't knowyour specific product, but if I
were to have applied aquaphorthis morning, I think you'd

(40:52):
still be able to tell shinyright now, today.

Speaker 1 (40:54):
Yeah, I'd be like I mean I'm kind of shiny as it is,
but like I'd be so greasylooking I do do love a dewy look
too.

Speaker 3 (41:02):
Yeah, absolutely.
Dewy is very in A lot of peoplelove that it's very demure.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
It's very girl, it's very clean girl, cutesy, sweetsy
, okay I do have to say, one ofmy favorite things that I found
for my face are sheet masks.
They're like the Patchologysheet masks.
They come in this pack of threefor like 20 bucks.
There's like one that'shydrating, which just like makes
my skin feel so plump and likeyouthful, and then there's like

(41:29):
a illuminating one that justgives it like a little bit of
like glow I don't know what.
It is very like dewy, and thenthere's a soothe one if you're
feeling like irritated girl.
I think they recommend that youdo all three of them in one
sitting or something like thatSounds like a lot.
Yeah, I use them when I need it, but I love a good sheet mask.

Speaker 2 (41:51):
Do you rub in the extra serum?
Oh girl.

Speaker 3 (41:55):
Don't let it go to waste.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
Yeah, also, I went on a trip bali and we had a
layover in um hong kong and Iwent to like one of the little
like beauty stores in theairport and they sold these like
10 packs for like five dollarsor something and I got so many
of them and I love a good likehyaluronic acid moisturizing

(42:17):
sheet mask I love this for youyeah, I sent you a sheet mask
holder on your face thingy yes,I thank you for the reminder.

Speaker 3 (42:25):
I still need to order it um because that's a problem
I have.
Going back to facial hair, Ithink that does not help.
My sheet masks stay on I don'tuse them super often, but I like
to you know, I like to mix themin when I feel like it.
It's a nice little self-caremoment.
Self--care Sunday.

Speaker 1 (42:39):
Yeah, like a little spa day.
Yeah, we should get to the meatof things.

Speaker 3 (42:44):
I think it could be said that, as members of the
LGBTQIA plus community, there isa perception sometimes that
when we reach a certain age, weare no longer seen as desirable
or as part as part of the likeyou know, market, if you will,
yeah, and I know that's true forfolks that don't identify as

(43:05):
members of the community either,but I think there's a specific
type of stigma, if you will, umabout.

Speaker 1 (43:12):
I know people who have like like rip, like death
themed birthdays when they turnlike 30.
Yeah, yeah exactly.

Speaker 3 (43:21):
It's like oh you're, you're dead in the gay world
right, yeah, like I've heardthose types of phrases which are
so stupid and silly.
But it is out there, it'ssomething that exists, some
people's perspectives, and so Ithink that may kind of multiply
the anti-aging pressures we mayfeel as members of the community
.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
Do you feel that pressure to like stay young, and
do you think it's exacerbatedby being gay?

Speaker 3 (43:46):
I do feel a pressure to maintain a youthful
appearance, like I don't, youknow, I don't really want
wrinkles, et cetera.
I also have a thing about likelooking tired, like I think I
always have a tendency to looktired so I'm like trying to like
mitigate that.
But to answer the other part ofyour question, I haven't done
enough.
I think inward reflection toknow like, is it more so because

(44:09):
I'm gay or not?

Speaker 1 (44:10):
I'm just hypothesizing that in real time
right, yeah, yeah, do you feelthat way, caleb?

Speaker 2 (44:24):
a thousand percent, and I think my perception has
shifted over the last like yearor two, because a lot of the men
that I date or hang out with orwhatever, are typically older
than me.
So then I felt like I reallystarted aging, noticing signs of
aging like the first signs,like over the last like year or
so, and I know that when I sayaging loosely.

(44:47):
But even like the gray hair, oreven like waking up tired and
having under eye bags.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
I could go out for like a binger sleep for an hour,
you know, like a year ago, andbe fine, yeah, is the fear that
you're not going to beattractive or to be able to
attract the people that you areattracted to with gray hair?
Because I feel like the peoplethat you know you, that you
typically date, are older thanyou like.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
I feel like you have like so much time you know, like
to even get to the point whereyou know they are yeah, well,
like it's cutesy and fun, likehaving as many gray hairs as I
have at 26, but like you know,15 years from now, I I'm not
going to be like that's not socutesy and fun, or even just
like that's why I have been istrying to do the more proactive

(45:36):
skincare regimen, but it's sohard because I don't think a
future Caleb he's a lost cause.
But I definitely think there's ahuge impact on just being gay
and skin and like skincarerelation relationship, because I
think the skin is especially uh.
Complexion is one of the firstthings I compliment or notice

(45:58):
about people and I think thatsays a lot about my perception
of how big of an importance thatis as I'm just a human, let
alone a gay man.

Speaker 1 (46:07):
I don't know.
Listening to you guys talk aboutskincare over the course of
this episode and how it's notreally targeted towards gay
people, it's really towardseveryone, it makes me feel like
everyone feels that way.
Everyone is trying to be youngeror more supple, or it just like

(46:31):
reminds me of death, becomesher.
You know, like everyone wantsthat magic potion that's gonna
like make them young again, andI feel like it's an inherent
anxiety in all of us and I thinkit's like a portion of it is
due to like social media and thefact that, like we as humans
are so comparatively driven,like we're always looking at

(46:54):
what other people have and whatwe don't have in comparison to
them.
And I did like a little bit ofdigging into like the pool of
psychology research that's likekind of around this topic and
everything I'd say like the mainthemes that came up over and
over again were that the more wesee beauty like advertisements

(47:16):
in social media or like fitmodels, the more we feel less
about ourselves and it leads tolike body dysmorphia and eating
disorders and like the fact thatwe are constantly comparing
ourselves to like what othershave, it bogs down our own like
self-worth.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
And the skincare industry is marketing off that,
yeah, I know.
Or profiting, yeah.

Speaker 1 (47:44):
I don't think there's any way to like really get out
of it, you know because, like,people are going to sell
products and they want theirproducts to look good.
You know, like I was just doingthis photo shoot with lindsey
um, with peace, peace love local, which, um, her products are
live on the site now.
So go shop peace love local dotshop um, you know she had

(48:09):
beautiful models with beautifulskin that looked beautiful in
her clothes that, you know,looked really good.
I was one of them.
I love that.

Speaker 3 (48:17):
I love that.
Oh my gosh.
You're starting to lose theunfamously to just be famously.

Speaker 2 (48:23):
Wow, oh my gosh, you put your first modeling session.

Speaker 1 (48:26):
And I don't do anything with my skin.

Speaker 3 (48:28):
Okay, Did they touch you up with makeup though?
No, they didn't, wow, okay, hey, that's a huge compliment to
you.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
But the beauty industry.
They want their products tolook beyond beautiful faces and
youthful faces, and that's goingto cause us, as human beings,
to compare ourselves toadvertisements and social media,
and I don't really know ifthere's any way around that I'm
not sure if there is either, butit is reminding me of a recent
episode.

Speaker 3 (48:56):
Y'all did on just like relying less on technology
and thinking about, like ourinstagram feeds or whatever
social media platform of choice,as you're scrolling through and
you're seeing whether it'scelebrities or influencers or
your friend, and they're all,for the most part I'm going to
generalize showing the bestversion of themselves.

(49:17):
Maybe it's slightly altered,maybe they put a filter on Maybe
they used a special app, ormaybe they just found really
incredible lighting or got theirmakeup done or did their makeup
themselves or whatever it maybe, and you don't know that
right going by the picture likeyour brain doesn't automatically
always know that and thinkabout that.
You put your phone down and youlook in the mirror and you

(49:37):
don't look like that becauseyou're you're just woke up irl.
Yeah, you're just like irl andbut like I think it's so easy to
be like, oh, why don't I?
Like I want to look like thatand it's like they look a lot
closer to what you look likeright now in real life than they

(49:58):
do on your feed.
Yeah, one of the studies that Iread it was.

Speaker 1 (50:04):
They took, you know, a group of people and they split
them randomly into twodifferent groups.
The whole whole group was askedquestionnaires about kind of
their perception of themselvesand their beauty and their
self-esteem and like those kindof measures.
And then half of the group wasshown these like you know,
models that like athletic models, beauty models, you know all of

(50:27):
these like unrealistic umexpectations of beauty.
And then the other was shownlike body positive images on
social media and then they tookthe test again about their
self-esteem and self-worth andum perceptions of their own body
image.
And the group that saw the bodypositive like had no effect and

(50:52):
the group that saw theunrealistic yeah, expectations
of beauty, like theirself-esteem went way down, yeah
I believe it so have more thingsin your feed that show you know
lizzo crushing it basicallyyeah, she was canceled, but um

Speaker 3 (51:17):
that's such a good point, though, because I try to
curate and clean up my feedperiodically when I'm actively
thinking about it, and I thinkit's a really good thing to
think about more frequently,like if you're looking at
something and it's not makingyou feel good about yourself,
like you should pay attention tothat signal.
Yeah, mute it.
Yeah, click, mute, click,unfollow whatever it may be.
I mean, yeah, if it's someoneyou know like, maybe you just

(51:38):
mute because, you don't want tocause some drama.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
Right or take a social media break.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (51:44):
Every once in a while .
All of the above, all of theabove, we have it on just our
iPads now.

Speaker 1 (51:49):
Yeah, social media is just on our iPads.

Speaker 2 (51:52):
Really, yeah, including Grindr.
Whoa For me.
Whoa, just, I'm envisioningbecause you know how you do an
iPad app.
Wait, that is only here.
Yeah, yeah, I know, oh, but you, can throw your location to
other places right.

Speaker 1 (52:07):
He doesn't pay for that.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
I don't know how to do that.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
I think that's free, isn't it?

Speaker 2 (52:10):
No, you can explore, but you get one free message.

Speaker 3 (52:12):
Oh, that's right, but I'm just envisioning him on his
iPad because they don't makethe iPad app, do they?

Speaker 2 (52:19):
So you have to hit the 2X where it's like the
iPhone 1X.
I think what I love seeing isbecause love seeing is because
you you mentioned I'm on thetiktok all the time is what's
blowing up is more naturalbeauty.
Yeah, and people calling outpeople for saying shit, like
there was this whole tiktokerwho was like everyone has to buy
this lash serum mascara andeveryone was like we can tell

(52:41):
you, tell you have on actualmascara, not just the like
lengthening.
So not like people are beingbitches and calling them out,
but like if you're trying tolike misrepresent something and
like people just like likeBrittany Broski, like you're
gonna get her like all dolled upor you're gonna get her from
like her nightstand table, likeI.
I think that's way moreapproachable and I enjoy seeing

(53:02):
it.
It's refreshing for sure.

Speaker 3 (53:03):
Billie Eilish.

Speaker 2 (53:04):
Charlie X, charlie xcx like those, see, maybe
they're just more clean girlaesthetic, but they have very
much more approachable.

Speaker 1 (53:09):
There's a little bit of that, yeah, yeah yeah, moral
of the story is everyone'sbeautiful exactly the way that
they are.
And all of these like productsthat we're talking about today,
like use them if they're gonnamake your life better, right?
Not because, in comparison toother people, they're gonna make
you feel better, becausethey're going to make the inside

(53:31):
.
That's beautiful.
Match the outside.

Speaker 3 (53:34):
Yes and yes.
Keep going.
Just be sure to clean and SPFlike protect your skin.

Speaker 1 (53:40):
I know I'm going to start washing.

Speaker 3 (53:42):
Because you don't want to have.
None of us want to have skincancer.
I don't think anybody wants toget cancer, and SPF is the
number one way to prevent thatyou know it not.
Obviously it's not a sure bet,but it's going to decrease your
odd significantly, so it I wouldjust add on to that.
I think what you said wasbeautiful and you just want to
also just protect yourself yeah,okay, let's do victory and vice

(54:06):
.

Speaker 2 (54:08):
Yes, I agree, jamil.
Would you like to go first?
Oh, okay, and you get to pickwhich one you want to start with
.

Speaker 3 (54:13):
I am going to go with my vice because you know not to
sound all sappy, but I justlove to end on a positive note.

Speaker 1 (54:19):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (54:19):
I don't want to give away the punchline, okay, so.
Punches in the face, jj and Iare going to a friend's wedding
in maybe about three weeks or soin Washington DC and we're
super excited.
Um, it's for my friend Mark andhis lovely fiance Nick If
they're listening at all shoutout maybe by the time you're
listening, you'll be married andum, we're very excited and Mark

(54:41):
is friends with Adam Rippon andhe's on the guest list.

Speaker 1 (54:49):
And I just said in the last podcast that he was
gonna be my next boyfriend soyou really did set it up.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
All right.
However, start washing yourface.

Speaker 3 (54:56):
I found out today that adam had to decline oh no
he had some like schedulingconflict.
He had originally said he wasgonna come, and then I think, I
think and then something fellthrough.
So unfortunately, my dreams ofmeeting adam in a couple of
weeks in DC have been shot andsetting him up with me.
I know he is married.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
What?
But you know, maybe there's.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
I'm into throuples, that's fine.
Yeah, people, exactly Peopleare doing all sorts of things
these days.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
Okay, so, yeah, oh God is my advice.

Speaker 3 (55:29):
I, mark and nick, I'm so excited to come celebrate
you.
It's going to be incredible.
I'm just the teeniest bitbummed but I I feel better for
being bummed, like I felt alittle kind of like an asshole
for being bummed.
It felt very selfish, yeah.
But then mark told me that theyhaven't told nick's mom yet
because they know howdisappointed she's going to be
because she's a huge fan did youthink he was going to do like
an ice skating routine at thewedding or something?
I think she just wanted to meethim.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
Yeah, she requested him to sit next to her, like on
the front row, and then she getsthere to the wedding and she's
like where?

Speaker 1 (55:54):
the fuck is he.

Speaker 2 (55:55):
I'm not coming, is the?

Speaker 1 (55:56):
bride or the groom friends with Adam.
So it's two men.

Speaker 3 (56:00):
Mark and Nick identify as male and Mark, who
is my friend, is friends withAdam and I.

Speaker 1 (56:08):
Mark, who is my friend is friends with Adam, and
I don't recall the specifics,so I'm two degrees of separation
away.
Exactly that's all I needed toknow, We'll try to make it
happen.

Speaker 2 (56:15):
Get into ice skating.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
I can ice skate.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
Do you want to share your victory next?

Speaker 3 (56:22):
My victory is that JJ's sister, so my husband's
sister, just had her second babytoday.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
Oh my gosh.
Yes, did she name it after you.
She did not name it after me.

Speaker 3 (56:34):
She gave it her maiden name, so JJ's last name
Brooks.
I guess it's fine to say that'sso cute.

Speaker 1 (56:43):
So Brooks.
Howell was born today I know acouple of Brooks and I love that
as a first name.

Speaker 3 (56:48):
Yeah, it's very cute he was almost nine and a half
pounds.
Wow, so it's a big guy but,it's very excited we are flying
out to meet him in just a coupleof days.

Speaker 2 (57:00):
That's so exciting.

Speaker 3 (57:00):
Yeah, very excited.
Do you like babies?
I like them.
I don't consider myself verygood with them.
I'm kind of that person thatdoesn't know what to do when,
like I get one, like I hold itfor a few minutes.
I'm scared to like stand andwhatever.
Jj's incredible with babies.
So, yeah, we're, we're veryexcited to meet the little new
one and have some good familytime and do all that stuff.

Speaker 2 (57:21):
That's so exciting Is your victory advice, juicy, um
see um, because mine's not notreally okay, it's kind of short
and sweet.
Okay, then you, you can go okay, I'll go next.

Speaker 1 (57:31):
Uh, my victory is that I accepted my job offer why
are you making that face?
No, because I'm so excitedbecause we talked about it a lot
but yeah, I'll be like runningthe events program for a master
sommelier over in Bellevue,washington, and I'm excited to

(57:52):
get started.
But I'm even more excited thatI'm taking a couple of weeks off
before I start.
I'm leaving for a P towntomorrow and I'm going to be
celebrating my friend.
I'll be his 40th birthday.
Shout out to Albie and that'sit.

Speaker 2 (58:08):
That's what I'm.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
I'm really excited because I was there for the
journey of the whole job and,like the decision, everyone all
of our listeners have beenthrough the ups and the downs
yeah, but then you talking aboutlike finding clarity and then I
remember you coming back.

Speaker 2 (58:22):
I was asking you on the trip.
You're like oh, I need thistrip to decide you haven't
decided, and then you yeah, Iaccepted it.
So yeah, I'm just very excitedfor you.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
Yeah, me too um, and then my vice is that I'm going
to p-town and I'm probably gonnamake some bad decisions while
I'm there, but it'll be fun.
And, um, I'm probably gonnaspend too much money while I'm
there.
But, like I said to caleb, Ihave my, my little uh savings
account that's for spending, youknow, on vacations and whatnot.
Hopefully I don't go over mybudget, but I probably will.

(58:52):
All right, kayla, what's yourvice in victory?

Speaker 2 (58:56):
I'm going to say my vice has been shopping.
Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
There's lots of deliveries from Amazon lately,
but I'm benefiting from some ofthem.

Speaker 2 (59:06):
Truly, I am over here picking off my nail polish
because I maybe want to do my.
I got a new gel nail kit thatI'm excited to try.
I got a new butt waxing kitthat.

Speaker 1 (59:17):
I'm excited to try Shout out to our friend Fernando
, because we got it for him towax his butt Medically.

Speaker 3 (59:24):
Only I have so many follow-up questions.

Speaker 2 (59:27):
I will be going at it with the medicinal insight Also
.
I think I may have told youwhenever we pre-planned this, I
went to nursing school because Iwanted to do medical aesthetics
.

Speaker 3 (59:36):
Yes, and that was on a former episode as well, I
believe.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
Yes, you mentioned um , so I'm actually really excited
to.
So if anyone wants their buttwax, please let me know.

Speaker 1 (59:43):
I would love to do it I thought that you were taking
on the gel manicure and I wastaking on the butt waxing, and
so we were turning the ADU intolike a uh esthetician studio as
well.

Speaker 2 (59:53):
Um no.

Speaker 1 (59:54):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 (59:55):
Well, you know, I'll review the clientele for each
one and then decide from there.
Okay, Okay.
I'm going to book you with Kylefor both of your sessions.
That's good Um so, yeah, I'vebeen shopping.
I literally the other day waslike, oh my God, come look at my
thrift haul.

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
Oh, yes, hold on.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
Is this your victory or your vice?
This is my vice shopping.
I've been distracting myself.

Speaker 1 (01:00:12):
Sounds like a victory , I know, but I've been.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
The products are great, but I've just been
distracting myself from otherthings in my life.
My victory is that I and shethere's something I feel I don't
know this odd guilt when I seeperformers who used to sell out
arenas and then not at an arena.
There's just this like feel.

Speaker 1 (01:00:35):
I feel the need to like sell it to them that I'm
enjoying it even though I, eventhough I enjoy it less because
you feel like you're selling itI feel like sometimes yes yeah I
felt that way with jessemccartney, but her I like,
started crying during umconcrete angel, always with a
broken wingthat one because she, like, hit

(01:00:55):
the fucking high no, was thisinspired by, like the music we
were listening to on our roadtrip?
The uh me going to the concert?
Yeah, she was already on mylist but it made me like
solidified even more.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
yeah, because I think that you gave it more meaning,
like it reminded me, I guess, ofof what it meant when I was
younger and I got these two cutelittle cacti with cowboy hats.

Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:15):
Yeah, that's my victory.
Someone that I've admired for along time, and she hadn't been
to Seattle since 1995.
And last time she was here, timMcGraw opened for her, wow.

Speaker 3 (01:01:29):
Yeah, see, I mean, and that's an incredible
statistic, but that to me soundslike she was ignoring Seattle
during her peak fame.
That's true.

Speaker 2 (01:01:36):
But I mean a lot of like.
That era of like Jodi Messinadoesn't come out here.

Speaker 3 (01:01:40):
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
Like Tanya Tucker.

Speaker 1 (01:01:42):
Yeah, jamil's also a fan of the Shania Twain era of
country.

Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:01:47):
Female pop country.
It's the only way to go.

Speaker 2 (01:01:49):
Yeah, so cunt, so slay.

Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
Got engaged at a Shania Twain concert.

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
That's right.
I didn't know this, you didn'tknow that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:55):
No wait, no, no, no, sorry, not the one in Seattle, I
did it at the Vegas residency.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
Okay, not the new one .
I'm currently doing another one.
I saw her in Nashville for thattour.

Speaker 3 (01:02:07):
And it was so great, the one where Kelsey Ballerini
opened Stop oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (01:02:12):
Well, she's from my hometown, but then she also
brought on Tanya.

Speaker 3 (01:02:14):
Tucker and Wynonna Jo , half of my hometown.
You better sing it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:18):
Well, we should have done that one.
You could be Kenny.

Speaker 3 (01:02:20):
I'll be Kelsey.

Speaker 2 (01:02:22):
Fine, but thank you for joining us on this topic.
I really enjoy the idea ofskincare and like, but I just
it's all fed to me so quickly onthe internet that I'm like, oh
my God, this is great, I'm goingto use this and then, out of
sight, out of mind, you're likeyou should see my drawers
upstairs.
But now I feel like I am moreintrigued by it because I know,

(01:02:43):
like the why behind it.
Yeah, so thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
Yeah, thank you, jamil, for coming on and
teaching us all about skincare.

Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
I needed to learn a lot clearly, but I just, I just
admire you for your skin.
We can end the episode, butlike I'm just so jealous because
it's giving straight men skinand who, like, put Dove on their
face and like don, you'retalking to me.
Yeah, oh, wow, yes which Iadmire you for your skin, and
you say you always look tired.

Speaker 1 (01:03:08):
You never do but remember that I'm gonna start
like cleaning my face everynight.
Cleansing, is that the rightword?

Speaker 3 (01:03:16):
you can use both.
They're fine.
Okay, we're gonna keep a chart.

Speaker 2 (01:03:19):
We'll keep our couture chart and then tell me
again if I still have it.
We'll do it.

Speaker 3 (01:03:24):
Get dry.
That means you need moremoisturizer.

Speaker 1 (01:03:27):
If you get dry, apply yes, okay, that works too I
mean apply regardless, but applymore if you get dry.

Speaker 3 (01:03:36):
And maybe invest also , let's say, in just a straight
up moisturizer so you can applyit whenever you want Don't worry
about it In addition to yourL2MD gel situation.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do usehyaluronic acid.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
Oh, that's right.
L to MD gel yeah, yeah, I douse hyaluronic acid.
Oh that's right.
Yeah, I like that.
That's a serum, is it Okay?
Well, there you go.

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
Now I know Thanks all for listening to this week's
episode of unfamously unwell andum know that everyone out there
is beautiful inside and out, nomatter what beauty products you
use.

Speaker 2 (01:04:09):
But until next week.
We wish you well.
Wash your face.

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
You're beautiful.
Thanks for listening to anotherepisode of Unfamously Unwell,
the unrated podcast hosted byyour two favorite Seattle
homosexuals on a journey tohigher health.
Listen each week as we deepdive into a new topic and give
you all the dirty details of oursuccesses and failures along
the way.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
You can send us your questions, feedback or share
your own victory advice bywriting to unfamouslyunwell at
gmailcom or by clicking the linkat the bottom of the
description to shoot us a text.
We'd love to hear from you andshare your stories on the pod.

Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
We'll see you back here next week for another
unhinged episode of UnfamouslyUnwell, unrated.