December 25, 2024 • 60 mins
Click here to send us your victory and vices!
Music isn't just background noise—it's the soundtrack to our lives. On the last episode of 2024, we chat about our top-played songs and how they reflect pivotal events, from energizing gym sessions to emotionally charged concerts. Join us as we explore the magical resonance of favorite artists like Pink and Jess Glynne, and debate Spotify's algorithmic quirks. Listen to how these melodies have become intertwined with our memories, shaping our daily routines and connecting us to deeper emotions.
Relationships can be our greatest teachers, and this year brought lessons in abundance. We recount stories of growth sparked by loved ones and even ex-partners, emphasizing the crucial role of a strong support system. Dive into our spirited discussions about overcoming self-doubt, embracing authenticity, and trusting our instincts more. With an eye on 2025, we celebrate the irreplaceable value of moments shared with friends and family, acknowledging that life's most cherished memories often lie beneath the surface.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Is there any updates you want to get from your
previous week?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I went to two Christmas parties.
One of them was for your ex.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
And then the other one was a cookie party, cookie
exchange, cookie exchange kindof party, but also a cookie
rating.
We all voted on which cookiethat we thought was the best.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Yours weren't, because they were out and stale
for a week.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I made them two days before I felt like they were out
there forever.
No, I made them on Friday.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Are you sure?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yes, because I put them in my it was like Friday
morning, mine were on the plate.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yeah, so I didn't take from your inside of your
cocoon thing but I'd mixed itwith my ice cream on Friday, I
felt like I was eating a hockeypuck A delicious hockey puck, oh
okay, but a hockey puck, Idon't know, they did like dry
out a little bit, but they werestill quite delicious.
You didn't win.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
No, who won?
I even, like, tried to givethem what's the right word, like
guilt, trip them into votingfor me and said that they're my
great grandma's recipe.
Well, your great grandma hasbad taste.
They were not.
They were not her recipe.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
You lied, and it still didn't get you a win.
No See, maybe that's why.
That's why you should tell thetruth, and you know what?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
won two categories Because there was like best
decorated, best flavor, bestoverall cookie and like best in
show or something like that youdidn't rent any category no fuck
you, fuck you, which one?
Who won a fucking dehydratedorange slice dipped in chocolate
which honestly did tasteamazing.
(01:39):
There's not a fucking cookie,but that's not a cookie.
There's no flour, there's nobutter.
Oh, fucking gays in theirhealth and there is sugar, but
and it did taste really good wasit dark chocolate?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
yeah, with some sea salt on top, it was really good
there's one upstairs, you canhave it but it's still cheating
yeah, someone boughtstore-bought okay, we get it.
You can't.
You can't bake, but like youbaked, yeah, and you still lost
yeah this is your sign to nottry as hard I know honestly in
general.
I know that's why you shouldalways buy things you can just
(02:09):
heat up in the microwave or theair fryer I want to do less of
that 2025 cooking.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
No more cooking.
Less heating things up in themicrowave oh yeah yeah, that's
not interesting on your list itdidn't make my list no.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
But you know what I will have.
My people put that in there asa potential for next year, Girl
you got to decide for yourselfwhat you want your priorities to
be.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Don't let me dictate, it's not about food no.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
You barely eat as it is, I know, I've been on my
hiatus of eating yeah yeah, butI did have an egg on a potato
cake this morning.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Oh yeah, you made breakfast for yourself.
Good for you, I did.
He does cook Sort of.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Because I told myself start your day with an
intention and not a reaction.
That's good.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Where'd you learn?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
that it was from?
Oh, I think it was from my book.
This is how you Heal, oh Ithink it's for my book um this
is how you heal, or somethinglike that.
I finally finished it.
Um audiobook, because I toldkyle about earlier.
He said you can read well I canread people for phil.
Yeah, um, but it was yeah, Ithink I heard it on there and I
(03:18):
thought it was very impactfulbecause I mean I love that, all
the chaos that goes on in mylife, I feel like I just react
to it and I decided I was goingto try and I had a very solid
work day and it wasn't any lessstressful than it usually is,
but I was just like I'm just notgoing to engage with that.
We should we name this episodea night of a thousand, a
thousand compliments like youjust compliment me the whole
(03:40):
time you've already insulted mygrant, my dead great
grandmother's cookies.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Well, your friend broke.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Our friend broke David's dead grandmother's
cookie holder.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah, there was no insults involved though.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
What the fuck.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
But it wasn't even your dead grandmother's.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
That's correct.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Okay, well, I know that this podcast has been
primarily about Kyle.
What the hell?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
No, I'm teasing, teasing.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
There's been plenty about you I know but not enough.
Maybe I'll go solo next year,we'll see imagine me having to
like hold myself accountable torecord and edit uh-huh.
No, that's too much you'reright.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Half the reasons you show up to record are because
you feel guilty?
I'm here waiting for you torecord with.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Fair.
So this episode.
Last week we recorded anepisode called the Unwelly
Awards.
Yes, and it reflected that wasa lot of fun it reflected on all
the unwell things and all thecrazy, fun, wild things we did
this year, and this episode isgoing to be more about just
wrapping up the year and Istarted doing this when I first
(04:45):
moved to Seattle is reflectingon the year and answering a
bunch of questions.
And journaling yes, andjournaling and writing a letter
to myself for the.
You know, this year I wrote aletter to myself for 2026, Caleb
, and I think it's just a goodlike level set and assess to
where you are and all that, whathas happened?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
as a good, you know, leaving 2024 yeah, this is
almost like a public letter toourselves, but also like an open
dialogue and discussion withyou.
Know our listeners about you,know what we want 2025 to look
like, what 2024 looked like andwhat we're going to change,
(05:25):
what's going to be different.
And obviously we want to hearabout your year in Wrapped and
what your intentions are for thenext year.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yeah, and I think it just creates I don't know.
It's a good way to summarizeall the stuff that we've done.
And like accountability.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Oh, I don't do all the time, yeah, but if it's
public, people are going to knowand they're going to be like
Caleb you said you weren't goingto do that and you're doing it.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
So you listen to podcasts?
You're a fan.
Oh my god, I love my fans.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Don't speak to me.
No, we don't take pictures.
No, we don't do that.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
But yeah, I think this is a good thing that I used
to do with a close friend andan ex each year, Like we would
answer them separately and thenkind of talk about it with
someone Like a long list ofquestions, yeah someone who like
means a lot to you to review,so they can like either like
call you out and say, like areyou fucking serious?
Or be like no, I actuallyreally noticed this about you,
(06:19):
or I think it's a good activityto do with someone that means a
lot to you.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yeah, love it, let's get into it.
Yeah, we're going to start offlighthearted and we're going to
get into our, like, top musicpicks for 2024.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Or like are we doing Spotify wrapped?
Speaker 2 (06:34):
I think that, like we , I have a lot of pride that
none of mine are Charlie,sabrina or chapel Um okay, I
can't say that that's true forme, but I do want to like
challenge you to go beyond likejust what spotify you know
wrapped told you and think about, like what songs really like
resonated with you in 2024that's a good question.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
I do.
I think we should share quicklywhat our top five are and then
from spotify yeah, because Ithink that's a good like preface
so people can like.
Okay.
Well, you're telling me thissong meant a lot to you, but
where was it?
Where was it?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
where did?
Speaker 2 (07:11):
it show up well that's the thing is like.
When I review my like toplisten to songs, they're always
just like songs that were on mygym playlist or you know
whatever like seasons playlistthat I listened to the most.
But there are so many likereally good ones from like
earlier in the year that didn'tget as many like listens, or
(07:34):
later in the year that didn'tget as many listens but I liked
more than the ones that wereearlier but I just like had more
time to listen to themthroughout the year.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
That makes sense.
You know, a lot of mine getthrown off because I always make
concert playlists and dependingon how early I make the
playlist in correlation to whenthe concert is exactly like last
year my top one was beyonce,because I went to her concert
and I there's a lot of songs Ididn't know, so I like listened
to it non-stop.
Um, I think the song that Ilike resonate with the most is a
(08:06):
Pink song.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Oh, okay, I love a Pink song, I know.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
I just keep finding it.
All I Know so Far by Pink.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Oh, my God, so good and.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I actually have a quote from it in my car that
says like let the walls crackbecause it lets the light in.
And yeah, I like a goodempowering song yeah, because my
, you know, trust fall.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
That's like one of my favorites from like a couple
years ago, but it's so good she,I don't, she just doesn't.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
She is a big artist and I but like I don't feel like
people are, like she is alittle underrated in my opinion,
because I think that, like whenyou ask people like what, who's
your like top 10?
Speaker 2 (08:43):
like female, like female artist?
Like she probably isn't like inthe top 10.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
No.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
What would she be for you?
Speaker 1 (08:51):
I probably wouldn't even like.
Now that I'm like in my pinkbag, which I'm really not, I'd
say like top 10.
Yeah, but not top five.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
No, but also like she just is vocally is phenomenal
too, but I wouldn't like chooseher as my top vocalist either.
Yeah, she is in like a weirdgray space, but I love her props
to pink with an exclamationmark at the end yeah, so that's
the song I probably resonatewith the most.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
What about you?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I really liked um casey musgraves album.
Oh, I don't like her, but butgo ahead, okay.
Well, I fucking adore her andshe just like sounds like an
angel.
And the song that I picked isArchitect and basically it like
talks about like is there thislike architect who's like in
(09:37):
charge of like all living things?
Or like the world spinning, orwhatever Like obviously like a
god, you know, or like the worldspinning, or whatever Like
obviously like a God, you know,but like using different words
to describe it, making it feellike accessible to someone who's
like more spiritual and notlike religious.
And yeah, I don't know, I justreally liked the message of it.
(09:57):
Go through your top five.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Number one is Hometown by Annie Tracy.
Okay, you probably don't evenknow that.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
No, I don't.
I think you've tried to make mesing it on karaoke, but I was
like I don't know this one.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
It's the song that goes like you don't follow, but
you watch my stories.
Come to my shows, but don'tclap for me.
Whoa, okay, I like that.
And then third one is my IdolsLie to Me by.
How do you pronounce that?
Ayanna, ayanna, ayanna Lee?
I don't know Ayanna Lee.
And then number four For theStreets by Anaya.
(10:30):
We went to that concerttogether.
And then Thing you Do by ToriKelly, number five, which is
interesting, the bottom three,bottom two, shocked by Okay,
this is the other thing thatlike kind of gets me about
spotify wrapped is.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
I downloaded another app where I can like import, you
know, all of my spotify dataand it like analyzes it and then
it gives you like how manytimes you listen to these songs
and I had like a tori kelly songin my top five on through like
the other app.
So I think there's like someweird like spotify push to like
(11:05):
have the sabrina carpenters, thechapel roans in people's like
top artists yeah, because peopleare going to post it more and I
wonder if they're marketingbudgets or they're paying them
right or if it's more of like arecency thing, like these are
your top artists, because youlisten to the most in the last
couple of months versus like theentire year, and I really want
to know, like neutral playingfield, like what, what artists
(11:28):
like really were my top played?
Speaker 1 (11:31):
well, do you have?
Did you screenshot your topartists of the year?
Because mine mine's a littledifferent than my top songs.
Yeah, okay, then wait, did youshare your top songs?
Speaker 2 (11:39):
my top songs were super graphic, ultra modern girl
I just fucking love.
You showed me that during prideand I was like wait it's so
good I was such a hater then andit's like it's no one's
favorite album or favorite songfrom the album, but it was
definitely like my first lovefrom her album and I played it a
(12:00):
lot.
Yeah, from chapel moan, chapelroone, yeah chapel moan chapel
moan, oh yeah, oh.
Number two was houdini by dualipa, which I also think that
that's like a a recent or like alatency thing because, like, it
came out first, but I listenedto the, the whole album um
(12:22):
radical optimism so many timesand these walls was definitely
like.
I definitely listened to itmore than did you hear?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
have you heard?
Listened to her live album atthat?
Albert alberton or albert hallor yeah, whatever hall, oh she
could sing.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Oh yeah, I love her I think that would like.
If I had to pick like not basedoff data, but just like the,
the album that resonated with methe most, I'd say that album
was probably my favorite slayokay, number three three was
ariana grande, yes, and yes,which also everyone hated on
that album it's like, of course,the single is going to like
(12:59):
have more listens to than therest of the songs in the album
because it came out, like youknow, months before.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
But I I really liked the we can't be friends, yeah,
well I think that entire,because it wasn't super long and
a lot of people were like, oh,that album shouldn't have been
nominated, for I loved it.
I well, we both were goingthrough breakups when it came
out, but, like we, I loved it.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I have it on my vinyl wall upstairs because it's,
it's such a slag, it's so goodokay, number four was red wine,
supernova.
Okay, also great chapel, chapelmoan.
And then I don't know wherethis one came from, but I kind
of love it.
It's whatever by kygo and avamax.
You know the.
It's like a shakira sample,yeah, we heard that.
(13:42):
We listened to it, yeah at theconcert interesting which I do
love that song and I love avamax that's in my 2024 playlist.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Okay, because I make a playlist every year.
I used to do best season, butthat one's in it and I heard it
the other day I was like, wait,this is, it's so good, it's so
good yeah, slay, yeah.
Um, okay, what, who is your top?
Because only one of my topartists is in one of my top
songs.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
My top artist was Sabrina Carpenter.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
You are Carpenter.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
But that's what I mean.
Like none of her songs were inmy top songs.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Yeah, but you spread your listening across multiple
of her songs.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Yeah, but I definitely listen to Radical
Optimism more than I listen to.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
And is Dua in your top?
No, wow, I know.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
It doesn't make any sense.
We should write them a letter.
Yeah, you should.
I can't remember.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Oh, yeah, she is she actually is?
Speaker 2 (14:30):
She's number four.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Liar Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
My top artist was the Veronica's, because we went to
that concert and I didn't knowanything about them before we
met fell in love with them.
Yeah, rib cage by them is sogood, yeah, um, or like
something about this the girlyou never want a girl.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
You used to know.
Yeah, whatever it is, yeahwhatever.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
And then number two is anaya again another concert
playlist.
Number three was beyonce.
I'm shocked by wow.
Number four was ariana grande.
I'm really shocked by numberfive because it was later in the
year, griff griff.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
I only started listening to her like a week
before the concert and I can'tget enough.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
I know last night's mascara so good, so good and I
showed you the bet radio oneversion where she mixes it with
sabrina.
Yeah, so good but um moreimportantly, I am not a fake fan
of our podcast.
My, my, um no number?
Was it my number one?
Yeah, my number one podcast wasour podcast.
(15:29):
Number two is there's no gaysin montana, uh-huh, um which I
don't listen to podcasts yeah,so that's pretty much it because
I listen to ours, just so weget another download um not just
because you want to, like youknow, listen to your own content
.
That's fine but what meant a lotto me is someone that I follow.
I was scrolling throughinstagram and we were their
number two.
Oh wow, yeah, behind npr didthey tag us?
(15:53):
No rude, but we were theirnumber two podcast.
That's really sad.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
We have fans yeah, just are you surprised because
you're not even a fan.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Okay, listen to us.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
I'm sorry.
Uh, unfamously unwell was mynumber three podcast.
Number two was there are nogays in montana, and number one
you can't really be smart,smartless.
Oh, it's just pure comedy gold.
I listened to three episodestoday so you like tyler and
Isaac more than me.
I don't know how that'spossible as well.
(16:26):
Show me the data.
Well, Spotify did yeah.
Well, I think it's a little bitbiased, Like are there episodes
longer than us?
Is it like by the minute or bythe episode?
Because we have more episodesthan them.
It is by the minute I think andlike.
So we must have like shorterepisodes.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Because it tells you how many minutes you listen to
podcasts.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Right, I guess.
So which I'd say it's about,even between the two of us.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I feel okay about my relationship with them because
one of them finally registeredfor Pickleball and now we can
finally move forward.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Thank the Lord.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I know I felt like a mom.
Yeah, you know what Is that?
How you?
Speaker 2 (16:59):
feel about with me, they fill about with me, they
are like on vacation orsomething.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I saw them at the rodeo or something yeah, but
tyler, I can tell he's ananxiety girly because he got in
right away that doesn't meanhe's an anxiety girl.
Yes, because I would never wantto let someone down like that,
so I would have done the samething okay, or you're just like
assertive, proactive.
You know there's a millionother adjectives for you know
being on top of I also judge,because isaac's email was
outlook, like your work email,and the rest of us were Gmail
(17:25):
girlies Like that.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
So yeah, impersonal Right.
Yeah, like, are we even friends?
Do you want to be on this team?
I'm going to send him theAriana song.
We can't be friends.
You're off the team, which Ihope they're athletic Me too.
Well, they play a lot of gaysports, so Well, kickball.
They play other sports too.
(17:48):
What I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Archery Dodgeball maybe.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
No, they're not dodgeball girls, Okay well, but
I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Remember that big, tall man that we played against,
that beat us, that beat us.
We need to train Tyler to bethat.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
I feel like he's going to be in the like more
advanced league, but we'll seeokay, I have a couple more
questions for you about your topsongs.
Okay, um, is there a song onyour like playlist that keeps
coming back, like year afteryear, where it's it's like an
oldie but a goodie and it isalways in your top 50 or
(18:27):
whatever it is for your end ofyear wrapped.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yes, and I got to see her for the first time live
this year.
It's probably my favorite songof all time.
Okay, jess, glenn, don't Be soHard On Yourself.
Oh, yeah, we've talked aboutthis before, yeah, multiple
times.
There are songs like that I'lltake for, like the end, like the
songs like I've been addingover the last few weeks that
I'll put on my 2025 playlist,like carry over right, and that
(18:52):
song has never not been on myplaylist since it came out.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Yeah yeah, that's exactly the answer that I wanted
it.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
It well, you're welcome.
I'm a good study.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
You, yeah, you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
You got the assignment well, you probably
based the question off youraudience.
Um yeah, that one I it's stillto this day makes me cry like
it's just very emotive to me.
Yeah, what about you?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
mine is dancing on your own, dancing on my own by
robin.
It just comes out like everypride season and I play it like
a ton all summer long and itdoesn't matter where you are if
you're like dancing in the clubor on a boat or you know
whatever.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
In Mexico yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
In Mexico having a house party.
Like everyone loves that song,so I played a lot.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yeah, sly, yeah, okay , you have more questions for me
.
No, that was it More questions.
I know, yeah, slay, yeah, okay,you have more questions for me?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
no, that was it more questions, I know.
But then I like went throughand I realized, oh, we kind of
just covered all of them, okaybefore we get into more
emotional topics, what was yourfavorite concert of the year?
oh, I gotta go with the simmelconcert with the seattle
symphony.
It was a lot fun.
And just to like see an artistperform that's from Seattle,
(20:07):
who's like always dreamed ofperforming with the Seattle
Symphony, who, if you don't knowabout Simmel the lead singer,
is also, or used to be, part ofBarcelona, the band Barcelona,
(20:29):
the band barcelona, barcelonaand um started his own music
project called simmel and, butit's from seattle and um.
Just getting to see someone'sdream come true, like that was
so cool and the music wasamazing and his voice is like
hauntingly gorgeous you are asupportive girly yeah like you,
love witnessing peopleexperience the greatness that
life has to offer oh, that's agood way to put it, because
that's what it felt likeyeah, yeah, it's very motherly
(20:51):
in a way, but like you justyou're excited for other people
to win, yeah, to have victories,yeah, and you get to like see
that and that's like a reallycool thing to experience.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
So my favorite part about concerts is when people
just have that like holy fucklike I made it like so many
artists sold out madison squaregarden this year, to the point I
was like, is it hard to doanymore?
Right, because so many peopledid it?
Yeah, which could we do it?
No, we're going on tour.
I probably won't even show upI'm having a bad day.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
I missed my flight.
What if I have a bad day?
You missed my flight.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
That's why this podcast could never go on the
road.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
No.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
But I did get to see one of my favorite artists, jess
Glenn, and I got to see hersing Don't Be so Hard On
Yourself, live.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
I boohooed the entire time.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
I also got to see Renee Rapp Love her.
I also got to see Renee RappLove her, but I think up there
vocally.
Tori Kelly, yeah, she's laid.
The other one was Jessie Murph.
I saw her here last year andagain, her voice alone just
brings me to tears.
(22:01):
But that doesn't count.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
It was last year.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
No, but I saw her this past spring for the second
time.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Okay, got it.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Yeah, so Tori Kelly and Jesse Murph.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Jesse Murph's song what's it called.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
What Happened to Ryan .
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Nope, it's a duet.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Oh, someone in this Room, someone in this.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Room that album man, that gets me.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
But her, you know, that's the type of vocalist I
love that, just like her voicealone draws the emotion of the
song.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
And it's like, so distinct, like you know exactly
who's singing it as soon as sheopens her mouth and she sounds
like that live, yeah, oh wow.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
She has an unreleased song.
That's one of my favorite songsalso.
It's called Wild Flowers andWine.
You told me about this.
It makes me cry because ittalks about how your mom
deserves better love than she'sreceived yada, yada, yada.
That's enough about music.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Okay, the next question that I have is about
the most influential people inyour life in 2024.
So who really stood out to youas people that maybe, like,
helped guide you down like apath that you, like, weren't
expecting to go down, or werethere to support you in making
(23:11):
decisions that you needed tomake, or whatever you know,
whatever that means to you asmost influential?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Shockingly, my first answer is going to be my ex,
because I know that a splittingwasn't because someone didn't
care, but it also was.
It put me on a path of, I don'tknow, reconnecting with myself,
figuring things out.
Yeah, he gave me a newtransition in life, because I
(23:47):
heard this quote the other day,talked about how life is only
about transitions and the finaltransition being death.
But you transition between jobs.
You transition betweenfriendships and locations where
you live and relationships, yeah, and some transitions are
harder than others.
But, like without him doingthat, I would have stayed in a
(24:12):
relationship that would haveworked.
So I'm very appreciative of him, which you know.
Even a few months ago I don'tthink I would have said that, no
.
I would say that's a goodanswer.
Thank you, yeah.
Can you believe that shenoodled that?
Just that.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
No, I would say that's a good answer.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Thank you.
Yeah, can you believe that shenoodled that Just now?
Yeah, my second would be Idon't know, there's a lot of
relationships that I had withpeople that kind of let me down,
but it put me in a headspace oflike growing up.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
You learn something from it.
Yeah, like whether it was apositive or negative
relationship, you learnsomething about yourself from it
Another, the other influentialperson.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
she actually died this year with my mom all.
I think, that her place in mylife has always been like she
didn't give a fuck what anyonethought or said.
She always treated me just forme as I am.
Yeah, and her passing made merealize I don't know I'd work
(25:17):
with death all the time.
but it really really impacted me, because I've never really had
any other deaths like as anadult in my life.
To time is short, not to wasteit, yada, yada, yada.
My third one, of course, wouldbe you, kyle, um, oh and lord,
whenever you showed up to mybirthday party and I was like
(25:38):
I'm not gonna be friends withthis man because we hung out
independently and you were goingthrough a breakup.
Then you showed up to mybirthday, hung out independently
and you were going through abreakup.
Then you showed up to mybirthday party and been like, oh
, you just went through abreakup.
I'm like who the fuck is thisman?
Speaker 2 (25:46):
I'm teasing.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
I think that it's been hard for me to open up to
you, but you don't force it.
But you also are very gentlewhen I do, but also mix it with
reading me for filth at the sametime, because I don't want just
a friend who's just alwaysgentle, because fuck that yeah
so I like to build people upbefore I tear them down yeah,
that's a direct quote you usedon a previous episode.
(26:09):
Yeah, um so, yeah, I do it toyou all the time I would say
you'd be a top three and thentied for fourth would be lindsey
and tristan.
Oh yeah, and I think they bothbring things.
Lindsey was an unexpected, likecloser connection because I've
had met her before this year.
But um, seeing her grow andbeing vulnerable and sharing
(26:31):
like all this creativity thatshe's working through, yeah, um
has been very empowering,inspiring um.
And then tristan, she's thegirl in my life who just acts
the most like me and I just amdown to clown, yeah, but also
will show up and call me out andbe supportive.
So, yeah, those I have five,but they're scoring a four Okay.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Because two of them tied, okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Which I would not have thought my ex would have
been the first one.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
But yeah, I mean honestly, it makes sense the way
that you explained it, though,honestly, it makes sense the way
that you explained it, though.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Yeah, okay, what about you?
Who's been?
Speaker 2 (27:09):
the most influential, most impactful, most supportive
whatever term you want to useit.
I think my top person isdefinitely Lindsay and this is
Lindsay from Peace Love Localfrom episode nine of the first
season.
And shop now.
Shop now, yeah, um, what is itpeacelovelocalshop like?
We've always been like closefriends, but we've gotten closer
(27:33):
over the last year and I don't,I don't know why.
Maybe it's just that we've beenlike spending more and more
time together, and I think it'sthat she can make light of the
most serious things that aregoing on and make it feel like
she understands where you'recoming from, that she's been
(27:55):
through it too and that there'slike a safe path out of it.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
And she does it with such poise and grace.
Yeah, and it's not just likethe same chaotic responses like
Tristan or I give.
She does it where, like it'swisdom, but like I don't I get
what you're saying.
I guess that poise and grace isthe best, but also like she'll
be there with you in the middleof a rave or the club or doing
(28:22):
all these chaotic things too.
Yes, so it's nice that like,because very rarely do you get
like a friend that you lovegoing to the club with.
That also is a great bestfriend.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Right.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Because we talked about how people have different,
right, who's also like grounded?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yeah, I don't know, the best thing about life is
having such a strong foundationand base to explore from and you
can only explore as far as yourkite string, in this analogy,
will allow you to, and I feellike she has the longest kite
(28:57):
string.
She's lived so many lives.
Yeah, and I'm just like I wantto like have a kite string that
long and just be like fearlessand be able to, like you know,
travel far away from that likesturdy foundation, and know that
at some point I'm gonna reelmyself back in and land on
sturdy ground and I feel likewhen I'm with her I can do that
(29:19):
what was the single best thingthat happened to you this year?
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Oh God, okay.
But while you're thinking on it, I wanted to speak on a topic
that I, when I was answeringthese questions, I had such a
tough time picking out thepositives or the good things
that happened this year.
Yeah, and then in my book, whichyou've mentioned before, it
talked about negativity, bias,okay, and how we allow one or
(29:46):
two or a few negative thingsovershadow all the great
positive things, and I've comeback to this question list to
answer so many times and eachtime I just feel so
hypercritical of myself andthere are so many bad things.
But what I think is differentabout this year is the great or
(30:06):
the wonderful things are in thesmall details of the year, yeah,
and not these grandioseadventures or grandiose
experiences, mm-hmm.
So yeah, while you're thinkingon that, I just wanted to touch
on that because this was reallytough for me to answer, because
I was like God.
I just sound like I'm fuckingnegative, nancy.
Speaker 3 (30:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
I would say, the best thing that happened to me this
year.
That's the question.
I would say it's the freedomthat I had this year to redefine
and like rediscover what'simportant to me.
And it took like losing my joband breaking up with my
(30:51):
boyfriend in order to do that,but at the end of the day, it
brought me this like bigopportunity to like have this
like space and time where Ididn't have like a ton of um
obligations and expectations setupon me, where I could, you
(31:13):
know, take some time to reallyfigure out, like kyle, what do
you want?
Speaker 1 (31:17):
and I'm still figuring it out, but like,
listen to yourself, yeah, andnot be so overwhelmed with the
distractions that all thoseother things like bring.
We talked about this and how Ithink identity crisis are people
just dropping a bomb and likedisrupting their lives.
So much to silence all of thatyeah and it takes huge changes
(31:41):
for you to finally getreconnected to yourself, because
it almost brings you out ofsuch a comfortable environment
that you're so uncomfortablethat you're just like, okay,
this is so vastly different.
The only person that hasremained the same in this is
myself, and I need to startlistening to that.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
And I was listening to that in my book yesterday.
It was talking about trying toget reconnected with yourself.
Start with small things liketrying new foods and like do I
like this, Do I not like this?
And to grow that intuition andthat trust in your gut.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Oh yeah, and I've definitely been on like a long
couple month journey figuringthat stuff out.
Slay, yeah, what about you?
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Single best thing.
This was the hardest one for meto answer.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
What I find sometimes with this podcast is I'll write
stuff down like almost likethis is like what people want to
hear.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Yeah, but that's not genuine to me, right, I think
you're really good at thatSecond guessing yourself, in the
best sense of that phrase.
You know that makes sense yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Yeah, because I could be like what I just said was
bullshit.
I actually don't believe it.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Literally like within the same sentence no, I do not.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
No, I do not yes, I do no.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
I do not.
So I wrote down the podcast andI don't mean that negatively,
like it was one of the topthings for me because it allowed
me, it challenged me and itheld me accountable.
I think the single best thingthat happened to me this year
was I don't want to sound like abroken record, but I don't give
(33:17):
a fuck because it feels moregenuine was my breakup.
Yeah, I almost said that too,because I would have kept going
on that course of life until theother person told me they
didn't want me, and I think thathe did me a service
unintentionally probably of mylight was dwindling and I could
(33:40):
feel it, but I didn't.
I wasn't paying any attentionand although this has probably
been the toughest year that I'veexperienced, um of my adult
life, I think that it's thebiggest year of growth because
it's not like oh, I went throughbreakup and I moved across the
country.
Look at me now.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
It's.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
I'm having to rebuild in the same foundation that it
all came tumbling down.
I couldn't run and then likedistract myself.
I couldn't run and like, oh,look over here, or I had to
learn.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Sit with it yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
And I feel like I've sat with it a lot this year and
it's challenging me to show upbetter for myself.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Yeah, good answer, good answer.
Yeah, good answer, good answer.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Yeah, but I did put down the podcast first so I was
like that's such a politicallycorrect answer, but it doesn't
seem genuine Rude Like you'refine.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Obviously, I listen to this podcast the most, so
yeah, not me.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
It's my third best thing, I know.
I will say, though, that thebenefits of this podcast have
been way surpassed myexpectations of what we started
it as Agreed, which was justlike a way for the three of us
to get together and like to chatand catch up and share kind of
(34:58):
our perspective on gay culture,which I think that we're talking
about, things that a lot ofpeople are not talking about, at
least publicly, and I thinkthat that's important for you
know, that information to be outthere and for it to be
normalized and, to you know,have it on a public platform for
(35:18):
people to access.
So, in that sense, yeah, that'skind of what I expected to get
out of it.
But, above and beyond that, therelationships that we've built
with you know, other podcastersin Seattle, the relationship
that we've built with each otherand how it's brought us closer
together, and the camaraderieand like going out talking about
(35:44):
it with people at gay bars andhaving that positive feedback
resonated back to me, wasanother unexpected benefit to it
.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
Yeah, I agree with all of what you said.
Especially, I don't think wewould be as close if we didn't
do this, because it kind of notforced.
We would still like hung outand obviously we live together.
But I think that it created aspace that you can be vulnerable
, you can share, you can go deep, you can be silly.
All other times I've been themost vulnerable on this episode,
(36:19):
on this podcast, has been theamount of time that I've gotten
the most positive feedback, yeah, and that people resonate with
it more like when you were uhadmitted to needing intervention
from franzia.
Get fucked and I, and you know Igave it up.
I gave up franzia.
Now I'm on my charter, joe'sbox, box, right.
But I've also like there's likewhy am I telling the internet?
(36:40):
I shit myself.
Why am I telling the internet?
I hooked up in a honey bucket,like there's a lot of chaos that
goes on in my life, that like Iwould only pick certain people
to know.
But all of the vulnerabilitythat we've shared, especially in
this year, I think that it wasthe perfect timing for the
podcast and our lives.
Yeah, Because, like I think wewould have given BS answers
(37:03):
years prior.
It is freeing.
You know what?
That's the best way to describethe podcast.
It's been very freeing, yeah,because then, like, oh, y'all
chose to listen to it, not me.
I didn't force this on you.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
Oh my god.
And like, if you don't want tohear it, then you just don't
listen to it.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Yeah, so yeah, it's been very freeing, love it.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Okay, okay, next question for you.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
What's the biggest hurdle that you've had to
overcome this year?
Numbing your problems will makethem go away or make them
quieter.
It honestly does the opposite.
The longer you numb, the louderyour problems become.
Is that a quote?
It the longer you numb, thelouder your problems become.
Is that a quote?
My biggest hurdle was um theamount of self doubt and self
negative talk that I've had.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
That's where I thought you were going with that
quote.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Yes, yeah, before I was interrupted, um, uh, I
should have been like oh, I havea quote for you.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
Should have started there.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Right, but I think that I've been very hard on
myself all year and that's beena hurdle that I've struggled
with in the past, but I Iusually would have dealt with it
better, but this year I'vetried to numb it out a lot
(38:21):
between being busy with work orjust busy in life, or wine, or
just lots of different avoidanttactics.
Yeah, because I don't know,it's very tough to speak
positively of yourself when youfeel like your worth was placed
(38:42):
on someone else and you losethat person.
So of course you're just goingto like speak negatively to
yourself.
But, I've been running from itall year instead of just dealing
with it head on.
So it's been my biggest hurdleand I still haven't gotten over
it.
Yeah, the hurdle yet, because Iwas trying to, you know, be
positive and speak highly ofmyself, but it's not easy.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
No, I think everyone struggles with that.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Honestly, yeah, a lot and I've dealt with it my
entire life.
But I think that it's alwaysbeen in like one area, like when
I was in college, like oh, Ifailed that test, or I haven't
been doing great at school, or Ihaven't been doing great at a
relationship or haven't beendoing great at this, but or I
haven't been doing great atschool, or I haven't been doing
great at a relationship, or Ihaven't been doing great at this
(39:22):
, but this year it feels likeit's been happening in multiple
areas.
So I think that that's why Ichose to numb it out is because
I didn't know how to deal withall of these different negative
self-doubts that I was goingthrough or have been going
through.
What can you do better in 2025to be better at your job?
I don't have a job, a career orum I could um apply to a job.
(39:50):
I was gonna.
You know what, we can skip thisone, but I was gonna tell you
when I say something like Icould learn to trust my instinct
or know my work at a job orlike trust my gut and like know
what I bring to the table, orlike I already know all that.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Okay, I think that I've also learned this year that
I'm a really good peoplemanager, and I didn't think I
wasn't sure that I was in thepast.
But yeah, I guess, just likelooking back, I would.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
I would give myself a pat on the back yeah, because
you see the worth so easily inother people, whether it be
professionally or romanticallyor in your private life, even
strangers.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
You see it, zach, on the fucking side of the street
blood on his knees that wehelped get up.
I think it comes down tounderstanding why each
individual person shows up onyour team to work, like whether
that's for a paycheck, whetherthat's for like work experience,
whether that's for like abetter title, you know, whether
it's just to like pass the timebecause they have nothing else
(40:50):
to do.
And knowing, like, how do youmotivate those people to show up
as the best version ofthemselves?
Do you motivate those people toshow up as the best version of
themselves and how do youincentivize them to grow their
skill set?
You know, grow within thecompany.
When I think that a lot ofpeople just like take one
standard approach to managementand they treat everyone the same
(41:12):
and that doesn't really work inmy eyes, because everyone's
showing up differently.
Everyone has differentbackgrounds, experiences and
motivations for coming to work.
And if you just are, you know,giving someone a three or three
to 5% raise every year andhoping that that's going to
motivate them to, you know, comeback year after year, I don't
(41:32):
think that really works.
Okay, what were your like?
Good or bad, or, like you know,best or worst habits of the
year?
Speaker 1 (41:45):
kyle, don't even look at me like that uh-huh uh,
start with, start with good,okay none I did.
No, I did.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
No.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Uh-huh, you got nothing.
I was just telling you how Inumbed out all of the year.
Thank you, that's not good.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
I know that's not like it feels, very important.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
Do you want me to sing your 12 days of Shut up?
Speaker 1 (42:16):
No, Okay, my good habits of the year.
I think that you brush yourteeth every morning.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
Yes, and every night that's a win your bath time,
your yeah yeah, your self-careroutine.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
Yeah.
I mean bath time's one of them.
Bath time Adding bath oil.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Because if it's drying my skin, why not hydrate
it Exactly?
Speaker 3 (42:40):
A little bath oil.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
But I can answer the Bad yeah, okay, vaping wine
avoidance.
Uh-huh, not responding topeople, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah,
that's plenty, that's plenty.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah, that's plenty,that's plenty.
Yeah, honestly, I don't thinkany of them are like that bad.
I mean, we give a differentadvice every single week and
we've talked about all, all ofthose in the past, um, but what
are you going to do differentabout 2025 to change those
habits?
Speaker 1 (43:16):
that's a good, oh, that's a good way to frame that
Cause they're not.
I felt a lot of guilt tosharing them, but going into the
new year, they're not habitsthat are holding me back.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
The habit is like not using them as a crutch anymore.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Yeah, but the habits that are holding me back are the
self doubt and like like ahabitual, you know, negative
self-doubt and like like ahabitual you know negative
self-talk or you know what.
The biggest thing that's uhheard me this year like as far
as habits go, is not being in aroutine.
I thrive on a routine and Inoticed that today I had my
(43:52):
whole routine throughout themorning and through the day, and
look at me thriving.
Speaker 3 (43:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Actually showing up to record this podcast, I'm
going to plus one that for me aswell.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
But why is?
And I think maybe it's the ADHDbrain, but whenever I'm not
feeling so great, I'm like fuckthat routine.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
The routine.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
I'm just going to react to everything throughout
my day and not have an intentionabout it.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
And that's when I have the worst days, yeah, and
in reality the routine is likewhat's you know?
Bringing it back to center.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Right, I need the predictability to that and low
dopamine help me thrive in a day.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
Yeah, so more routine , yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Yeah, that's how I'm going to better myself.
Yeah, I'm going to second thattoo.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
I was like driving here after dropping off candles
for Christmas presents for someof our friends, and I was like
man I used to have this sayinglike when I got back from
vacation, like okay, back on theprogram, you know, like back
into the routine, back into likethe you know morning workout,
(44:57):
the healthy lunch, the you knowgoing to going on a walk after
work or whatever.
And I think without the routineof like a nine to five job and
I don't know having someone athome to like cook dinner for or
whatever it was, that was likedriving that.
(45:18):
The program, as I call it, I'vejust like completely like
demolished my routine, so Idefinitely need to get back into
that how can I better supportyou in a routine like that?
Speaker 1 (45:28):
because I'm also the one that's like do you want
pizza?
I know I'm.
I'm like the devil on yourshoulder it's terrible, honestly
it's it's your fault.
I can show up for walks.
You don't want?
Speaker 2 (45:41):
to work out with me in the morning.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Absolutely not.
I have little tiny three-pounddumbbells, the idea of lifting
something heavy at 7 am.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
What about like a wine bottle?
No, just lift the wine bottle.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
I'll go on walks with you.
Okay, I don't enjoy working outand it doesn't help me mentally
.
Yeah, going on walks.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Let's go on a walk Every evening and we're about to
build in some more fit routines, because I think, pickleball is
helpful.
You know what would be anothergood one If I join the Planet
Fitness and then you go to thetanning bed while I go do some
ab crunches.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
I think honestly I'm going to go there to study.
Like just get on the treadmilland just answer my questions.
Because then it also helps mybrain work through things and
I'm moving.
So that's my thought.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Okay, let's do that.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Okay, your turn.
Okay.
First off, did you have a wordfor this year, this past?
Speaker 2 (46:37):
year.
I don't think I did this year.
Speaker 1 (46:41):
I know it's terrible.
That's okay If I did.
I just started it two years ago, so Okay.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Yeah, I don't remember what it was.
Did you have a word?
Speaker 1 (46:50):
of the year I did For 2024?
.
I did, it was authenticity.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
So what's your word for 2025?
Speaker 2 (47:05):
oh, I wrote down a couple notes, but I think
intuition, oh, that's mine nofuck, that's mine, all four of
mine.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
I put a.
I remember I was like how to doan asterisk and I put wait, I
like literally, was just talkingto lindsey about this last
night intuition this year.
My goal is become more in tunewith myself and trust my gut
seriously wait, I love thisperiod.
Speaker 2 (47:22):
End of sentence.
Okay, I, there's this thing.
I'm like gonna go on a littlebit of a tangent that's fine,
I'll allow it okay, there's thisthing you know, I grew up
mormon and there's this thing inthe church called um the holy
ghost and, like you know, mostreligions have this concept of
the Holy Spirit or whatever.
Yeah, the Father, the Son, theHoly Spirit, amen.
(47:43):
Okay, but in the Mormon churchit's called the Holy Ghost and,
at like a really young age,you're taught that the Holy
Ghost is with you at all times.
It is like this still smallvoice inside of you that is
always helping guide yourdecision making and you're
(48:04):
taught at like a really youngage, to trust that voice, and I
feel like it's such a blessingI'm using the religious word,
you know hashtag blessed to betold that, at like a really
young age, that you can trustyourself, you can trust your gut
, and, yeah, they use areligious, you know framework in
(48:26):
order to explain it.
But I think it's true in youknow, a secular sense too, where
, like, we don't tell kids totrust their instincts.
We tell them this is how youshould live your life.
These are the decisions thatyou should make.
Actually, let me just make themfor you and then expect them to
grow out, yeah, as adults yeahand I feel like I've I've
(48:50):
definitely lost that over timeand I've seen people lose that
as they get older and older.
They trust themselves less andless, and I think that it's
really important to be able tolike trust your gut, and that's
going to be my intention for2025.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
Oh my God.
Yeah, we have the same word forthe year.
I love it.
I was not expecting that.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
Neither.
Speaker 1 (49:14):
Cause I've wrote down four like three other things
and I was like for some reasonthat one, just that's the one.
Because all of the most I don'tknow enjoyment that I felt in
life, but the most just peacethat I felt is and I have
mentioned this to several peopleis if you go with your gut,
answer your emotional responselike that, even if it's the
(49:34):
wrong choice, you're never goingto beat yourself up about it
because it felt right at thattime.
Because you're never going tobeat yourself up about it
because it felt right at thattime, right Because you're
trusting your gut, right.
But if you go with a logicbrain, you're like, oh, I should
have seen this coming, I shouldhave noticed that I should have
done this or I should havetried harder.
But if you really allow yourgut to be your guide, yeah, you
can.
You can't beat yourself up nearas much because at that time in
(49:56):
your life that's what you feltdrawn to do.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
Yeah, it's also, like it almost is reassuring
yourself, that you trustyourself, and that helps in like
other aspects of life too, youknow, with your own self.
Esteem your own self worth.
You know all of it.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
And the more in tune you become with your gut.
You can just like, even if youhave no logical reasons, like
something's off, I need toremove myself in this situation.
Or like, I don't know thisperson very well, but something
about like this situation ontheir fun, or like you just
start it naturally, going wherelife feels like you should be
going instead of like fightingagainst it.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:37):
Mm-hmm Slay.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Okay, then I want you to start with your victory of
the year.
Okay, actually, no, fuck that.
Start with your vice.
We need to end on victories.
Speaker 2 (50:49):
Okay, I like that.
Yeah, Okay, let's get intovictory and vice.
I'll go first with my vice.
So I think my biggest vice of2024 was that like I hate to say
that it's the vice, because Ireally enjoyed this part of 2024
, but it's really that Iprioritized my like having fun
(51:10):
with my family and friends somuch in 2024 that it kind of
like overshadowed my desire forlike personal growth from like a
financial perspective, from acareer perspective, from like a
health and wellness perspective.
Even and yes, those moments arewhat got me through 2024,
(51:35):
because they were so tough, arewhat got me through 2024,
because they were so tough.
But it also like kind of tooktime and resources away from
other things that matter too.
So I think it's in 2025, I wantto like find that a better
balance.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
Um, you know I interact with a lot of people in
their deathbed.
None of them have ever told methe brightest parts of their
life or the things that meantthe most to them were.
Were career, money?
Any of that related?
Speaker 2 (52:07):
is about those moments and memories right, and
I think that you really neededthat this year I did, and it's
so different than all the yearsprior yeah, that's why you
probably feel a little bit ofguilt about it, and that's why I
like I don't want to reallylike say oh, it's a vice,
because I I needed it, like itwas so important to my last year
to make that the top priorityand be feel connected and
(52:28):
supported by my family andfriends and having fun with them
and getting up to shenanigansand distracting myself from some
of the shit storm that wasgoing on throughout the year.
But you know, hopefully 2025becomes a little bit more stable
and I guess I'm just saying Idon't need to go on.
(52:51):
You know five gaycations nextyear.
Speaker 1 (52:54):
For under $2,000,.
You should go on 10.
Yes, I should.
You should go on 10.
Yes, I should.
Speaker 2 (52:58):
Yes, I should.
Speaker 1 (52:58):
Because, honestly, this podcast would have been
boring without it.
Speaker 3 (53:00):
I guess I have no vice, I guess.
I have no vice yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:06):
You get what I'm saying, though.
Yes, I'm following.
So it's a vice, because itdidn't feel as well balanced as
you would have liked it Right?
Speaker 2 (53:12):
yeah, oh balance.
Speaker 1 (53:20):
That year, my word for 2024.
Yeah, you did not meet that atall, nope nope.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
But you know what, though?
Sometimes you have to offsetthe balance.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Yeah, to get back on, yeah because then you would
have still been balanced, youwould have been prioritizing all
these logistical things right.
So again, you just need to havea britney year.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
I did you just grew a mustache instead of shaving
your hair.
Yeah, okay, what was your viceum?
Speaker 1 (53:36):
probably biggest vice of 2025, probably social
anxiety before.
Yeah, okay, that was reallydetrimental to me this year you
struggled with that, yeah, and Ithink I, in a lot of ways, I
prevented it from enjoying a lotof, like, small moments or
memories with people, but, um,yeah, that would be my biggest
vice.
Just to summarize, it would beokay social anxiety and I this
(53:59):
is the year that I've reallyonly ever dealt with it, other
than when I was mute as a child,I guess.
But the ultimate form right ofsocial anxiety now all these
people know that I speak, so Ican't just go mute again it
wouldn't be great if you did I'mlike, oh, this is my friend
kyle or caleb?
Speaker 2 (54:17):
he doesn't, but I just heard him talk last week.
No, he doesn't speak anymore, Ijust whispered in your ear.
Speaker 1 (54:22):
He's not, he's having fun.
Yeah, he's having a great time.
Where's your bathroom?
He needs to go.
So communicating to you Um,okay, what's your victory?
Speaker 2 (54:32):
Okay, my, my biggest victory of 2024 was just finding
my voice again after being in arelationship where I lost my
voice and I was with someone whoyou know didn't respect my
values.
And just getting to separatemyself from all of that and
(54:53):
rediscover you know what my realvalues are and just like being
proud of who I am yeah, slayingand you've surrounded yourself
with people that are buildingyou up.
Speaker 1 (55:04):
Oh yeah, you're great .
You're great right, and justkeep doing what you're doing
yeah, mary slaymas, thank youokay, um what's yours um I think
the amount of time that I spentwith myself this year, oh yeah,
although a lot of it wasdrowning a lot of things out and
(55:25):
numbing.
I think that each time it waslike almost like small identity
crisis.
We were just talking about how,like blowing up a bomb to
silence everyone.
I think the time alone that I'vehad this year gave me small
moments of reconnecting withmyself that I usually in the
(55:47):
past would try to find myself inother people and other
activities and being busy.
I think my vice of socialanxiety really allowed me to
just sit with myself, yeah,instead of being so busy, and
because, lord knows, at thebeginning of this year I wanted
(56:07):
to move again.
And I was hell bent undeterminedon doing that and I think that,
sitting with myself, I knowdeep down that I don't need to
run for my problems, and that'swhat that would have been.
Yeah, but 2025, low-key.
I want to move Same, we'll see.
Speaker 2 (56:26):
Yeah, we'll have to do this virtually.
Speaker 1 (56:29):
Hi, kyle, where are you?
The Bahamas, okay, how is thatfinancial wellness thing you're?
Speaker 2 (56:36):
doing Okay.
Speaker 1 (56:37):
Yeah, this is your sixth trip in two months.
Speaker 2 (56:40):
Okay, oh, and you have two Mai Tais in your hand,
oh okay.
Speaker 1 (56:43):
Oh well you do have two fists.
Why not?
Why not?
Yeah, is there any last phraseor thing that you want to leave
with the listeners to round outthe year, or even like a note to
your future self?
Speaker 2 (57:01):
I would say be flexible with your New Year's
resolutions, be flexible withyour goals, because I learned
this year that sometimes you'renot going to like meet your
goals and sometimes you're goingto have to like pivot, and it's
a hard thing to do.
In psychology there's thisthing called fictional finalisms
.
Basically, it's like when youhave this very like structured
(57:26):
mindset where you set a goal andthat goal becomes like an end,
all be all and your whole likeself worth is tied up into it
and you can't imagine your lifenot accomplishing that goal.
And it's like a reallymaladaptive like mindset to have
.
Because we find that people whostress themselves out to the
(57:49):
point of like exhaustion or, youknow, perfectionism, but people
who can adapt and change theirgoals and it doesn't have to be
like sweeping changes, but theycan make small adjustments to
what those goals are and thosepeople are usually the most
successful because they end upaccomplishing smaller goals and
(58:12):
they change those goals.
As you know, their environmentchanges.
Speaker 1 (58:16):
Could that same idea be applied to?
Like the mindset, especiallybeing from the South?
Oh, same idea be applied tolike the mindset, especially
being from the South.
Oh, I'll be happy when I'mmarried to have kids, have a job
after graduation.
And then people who get there,they're like this is not great.
Those goals didn't make mehappy, right Like, what do I do
now, now that I've reached them?
Is that like a similar mindset?
Speaker 3 (58:35):
framework.
Speaker 1 (58:35):
Definitely Okay, like a similar mindset framework.
Yeah, definitely okay.
So I understand that.
That makes sense.
Um, what about you?
Mine is a piece of advice thatyou've given me is just show up
in whatever way or version youcan that day, and it's not.
It may not be a version thatyou like or that other people
like, but just showing up ishalf the battle yeah and
(58:58):
sometimes you'll surpriseyourself true yeah, very true,
okay.
Speaker 2 (59:04):
Well, thank you for listening to this week's episode
.
We want to hear about yourfictional finalisms, how
maladaptive your thoughtprocesses are, and we want to
hear about your year in reviewwhat you're proud of, what
you're not so proud of.
And I would love to hear aboutyour year in review what you're
proud of, what you're not soproud of.
Speaker 1 (59:20):
I would love to hear people even just who is the most
impactful person for them thisyear, Even just something like
there doesn't have to be thisgrandiose idea, but I would just
like to hear because it also ishelpful.
We're giving our perspective ona lot of things.
I would love to hear otherpeople's perspective.
Speaker 2 (59:37):
Yeah, and what word of the year will be and why?
So?
Shoot us a email tounfamouslyunwell at gmailcom.
Follow us on Instagram atunfamouslyunwell and DMS there,
or you can click the link in thedescription and shoot us a text
and until next year, until nextyear, until next year.
(59:59):
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, we're going to take alittle break, but we will see
you in the new year.
So until next year we wish youwell.
Happy New.
Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
Year.
That's good.
That's better than what I hadto say.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
Thanks for listening to another episode of Unfamously
Unwell, the unrated podcasthosted by your two favorite
Seattle homosexuals on a journeyto higher health.
Listen each week as we deepdive into a new topic and give
you all the dirty details of oursuccesses and failures along
the way.
Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
You can send us your questions, feedback or share
your own victory advice bywriting to unfamouslyunwell at
gmailcom or by clicking the linkat the bottom of the
description to shoot us a text.
We'd love to hear from you andshare your stories on the pod.
Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
We'll see you back here next week for another
unhinged episode of.
Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
Unfamously Unwell Unrated.
Is there any updates you want to get from your
previous week?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I went to two Christmas parties.
One of them was for your ex.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
And then the other one was a cookie party, cookie
exchange, cookie exchange kindof party, but also a cookie
rating.
We all voted on which cookiethat we thought was the best.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Yours weren't, because they were out and stale
for a week.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I made them two days before I felt like they were out
there forever.
No, I made them on Friday.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Are you sure?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yes, because I put them in my it was like Friday
morning, mine were on the plate.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yeah, so I didn't take from your inside of your
cocoon thing but I'd mixed itwith my ice cream on Friday, I
felt like I was eating a hockeypuck A delicious hockey puck, oh
okay, but a hockey puck, Idon't know, they did like dry
out a little bit, but they werestill quite delicious.
You didn't win.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
No, who won?
I even, like, tried to givethem what's the right word, like
guilt, trip them into votingfor me and said that they're my
great grandma's recipe.
Well, your great grandma hasbad taste.
They were not.
They were not her recipe.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
You lied, and it still didn't get you a win.
No See, maybe that's why.
That's why you should tell thetruth, and you know what?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
won two categories Because there was like best
decorated, best flavor, bestoverall cookie and like best in
show or something like that youdidn't rent any category no fuck
you, fuck you, which one?
Who won a fucking dehydratedorange slice dipped in chocolate
which honestly did tasteamazing.
(01:39):
There's not a fucking cookie,but that's not a cookie.
There's no flour, there's nobutter.
Oh, fucking gays in theirhealth and there is sugar, but
and it did taste really good wasit dark chocolate?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
yeah, with some sea salt on top, it was really good
there's one upstairs, you canhave it but it's still cheating
yeah, someone boughtstore-bought okay, we get it.
You can't.
You can't bake, but like youbaked, yeah, and you still lost
yeah this is your sign to nottry as hard I know honestly in
general.
I know that's why you shouldalways buy things you can just
(02:09):
heat up in the microwave or theair fryer I want to do less of
that 2025 cooking.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
No more cooking.
Less heating things up in themicrowave oh yeah yeah, that's
not interesting on your list itdidn't make my list no.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
But you know what I will have.
My people put that in there asa potential for next year, Girl
you got to decide for yourselfwhat you want your priorities to
be.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Don't let me dictate, it's not about food no.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
You barely eat as it is, I know, I've been on my
hiatus of eating yeah yeah, butI did have an egg on a potato
cake this morning.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Oh yeah, you made breakfast for yourself.
Good for you, I did.
He does cook Sort of.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Because I told myself start your day with an
intention and not a reaction.
That's good.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Where'd you learn?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
that it was from?
Oh, I think it was from my book.
This is how you Heal, oh Ithink it's for my book um this
is how you heal, or somethinglike that.
I finally finished it.
Um audiobook, because I toldkyle about earlier.
He said you can read well I canread people for phil.
Yeah, um, but it was yeah, Ithink I heard it on there and I
(03:18):
thought it was very impactfulbecause I mean I love that, all
the chaos that goes on in mylife, I feel like I just react
to it and I decided I was goingto try and I had a very solid
work day and it wasn't any lessstressful than it usually is,
but I was just like I'm just notgoing to engage with that.
We should we name this episodea night of a thousand, a
thousand compliments like youjust compliment me the whole
(03:40):
time you've already insulted mygrant, my dead great
grandmother's cookies.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Well, your friend broke.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Our friend broke David's dead grandmother's
cookie holder.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah, there was no insults involved though.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
What the fuck.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
But it wasn't even your dead grandmother's.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
That's correct.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Okay, well, I know that this podcast has been
primarily about Kyle.
What the hell?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
No, I'm teasing, teasing.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
There's been plenty about you I know but not enough.
Maybe I'll go solo next year,we'll see imagine me having to
like hold myself accountable torecord and edit uh-huh.
No, that's too much you'reright.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Half the reasons you show up to record are because
you feel guilty?
I'm here waiting for you torecord with.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Fair.
So this episode.
Last week we recorded anepisode called the Unwelly
Awards.
Yes, and it reflected that wasa lot of fun it reflected on all
the unwell things and all thecrazy, fun, wild things we did
this year, and this episode isgoing to be more about just
wrapping up the year and Istarted doing this when I first
(04:45):
moved to Seattle is reflectingon the year and answering a
bunch of questions.
And journaling yes, andjournaling and writing a letter
to myself for the.
You know, this year I wrote aletter to myself for 2026, Caleb
, and I think it's just a goodlike level set and assess to
where you are and all that, whathas happened?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
as a good, you know, leaving 2024 yeah, this is
almost like a public letter toourselves, but also like an open
dialogue and discussion withyou.
Know our listeners about you,know what we want 2025 to look
like, what 2024 looked like andwhat we're going to change,
(05:25):
what's going to be different.
And obviously we want to hearabout your year in Wrapped and
what your intentions are for thenext year.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yeah, and I think it just creates I don't know.
It's a good way to summarizeall the stuff that we've done.
And like accountability.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Oh, I don't do all the time, yeah, but if it's
public, people are going to knowand they're going to be like
Caleb you said you weren't goingto do that and you're doing it.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
So you listen to podcasts?
You're a fan.
Oh my god, I love my fans.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Don't speak to me.
No, we don't take pictures.
No, we don't do that.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
But yeah, I think this is a good thing that I used
to do with a close friend andan ex each year, Like we would
answer them separately and thenkind of talk about it with
someone Like a long list ofquestions, yeah someone who like
means a lot to you to review,so they can like either like
call you out and say, like areyou fucking serious?
Or be like no, I actuallyreally noticed this about you,
(06:19):
or I think it's a good activityto do with someone that means a
lot to you.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yeah, love it, let's get into it.
Yeah, we're going to start offlighthearted and we're going to
get into our, like, top musicpicks for 2024.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Or like are we doing Spotify wrapped?
Speaker 2 (06:34):
I think that, like we , I have a lot of pride that
none of mine are Charlie,sabrina or chapel Um okay, I
can't say that that's true forme, but I do want to like
challenge you to go beyond likejust what spotify you know
wrapped told you and think about, like what songs really like
resonated with you in 2024that's a good question.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
I do.
I think we should share quicklywhat our top five are and then
from spotify yeah, because Ithink that's a good like preface
so people can like.
Okay.
Well, you're telling me thissong meant a lot to you, but
where was it?
Where was it?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
where did?
Speaker 2 (07:11):
it show up well that's the thing is like.
When I review my like toplisten to songs, they're always
just like songs that were on mygym playlist or you know
whatever like seasons playlistthat I listened to the most.
But there are so many likereally good ones from like
earlier in the year that didn'tget as many like listens, or
(07:34):
later in the year that didn'tget as many listens but I liked
more than the ones that wereearlier but I just like had more
time to listen to themthroughout the year.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
That makes sense.
You know, a lot of mine getthrown off because I always make
concert playlists and dependingon how early I make the
playlist in correlation to whenthe concert is exactly like last
year my top one was beyonce,because I went to her concert
and I there's a lot of songs Ididn't know, so I like listened
to it non-stop.
Um, I think the song that Ilike resonate with the most is a
(08:06):
Pink song.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Oh, okay, I love a Pink song, I know.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
I just keep finding it.
All I Know so Far by Pink.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Oh, my God, so good and.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I actually have a quote from it in my car that
says like let the walls crackbecause it lets the light in.
And yeah, I like a goodempowering song yeah, because my
, you know, trust fall.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
That's like one of my favorites from like a couple
years ago, but it's so good she,I don't, she just doesn't.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
She is a big artist and I but like I don't feel like
people are, like she is alittle underrated in my opinion,
because I think that, like whenyou ask people like what, who's
your like top 10?
Speaker 2 (08:43):
like female, like female artist?
Like she probably isn't like inthe top 10.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
No.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
What would she be for you?
Speaker 1 (08:51):
I probably wouldn't even like.
Now that I'm like in my pinkbag, which I'm really not, I'd
say like top 10.
Yeah, but not top five.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
No, but also like she just is vocally is phenomenal
too, but I wouldn't like chooseher as my top vocalist either.
Yeah, she is in like a weirdgray space, but I love her props
to pink with an exclamationmark at the end yeah, so that's
the song I probably resonatewith the most.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
What about you?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I really liked um casey musgraves album.
Oh, I don't like her, but butgo ahead, okay.
Well, I fucking adore her andshe just like sounds like an
angel.
And the song that I picked isArchitect and basically it like
talks about like is there thislike architect who's like in
(09:37):
charge of like all living things?
Or like the world spinning, orwhatever Like obviously like a
god, you know, or like the worldspinning, or whatever Like
obviously like a God, you know,but like using different words
to describe it, making it feellike accessible to someone who's
like more spiritual and notlike religious.
And yeah, I don't know, I justreally liked the message of it.
(09:57):
Go through your top five.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Number one is Hometown by Annie Tracy.
Okay, you probably don't evenknow that.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
No, I don't.
I think you've tried to make mesing it on karaoke, but I was
like I don't know this one.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
It's the song that goes like you don't follow, but
you watch my stories.
Come to my shows, but don'tclap for me.
Whoa, okay, I like that.
And then third one is my IdolsLie to Me by.
How do you pronounce that?
Ayanna, ayanna, ayanna Lee?
I don't know Ayanna Lee.
And then number four For theStreets by Anaya.
(10:30):
We went to that concerttogether.
And then Thing you Do by ToriKelly, number five, which is
interesting, the bottom three,bottom two, shocked by Okay,
this is the other thing thatlike kind of gets me about
spotify wrapped is.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
I downloaded another app where I can like import, you
know, all of my spotify dataand it like analyzes it and then
it gives you like how manytimes you listen to these songs
and I had like a tori kelly songin my top five on through like
the other app.
So I think there's like someweird like spotify push to like
(11:05):
have the sabrina carpenters, thechapel roans in people's like
top artists yeah, because peopleare going to post it more and I
wonder if they're marketingbudgets or they're paying them
right or if it's more of like arecency thing, like these are
your top artists, because youlisten to the most in the last
couple of months versus like theentire year, and I really want
to know, like neutral playingfield, like what, what artists
(11:28):
like really were my top played?
Speaker 1 (11:31):
well, do you have?
Did you screenshot your topartists of the year?
Because mine mine's a littledifferent than my top songs.
Yeah, okay, then wait, did youshare your top songs?
Speaker 2 (11:39):
my top songs were super graphic, ultra modern girl
I just fucking love.
You showed me that during prideand I was like wait it's so
good I was such a hater then andit's like it's no one's
favorite album or favorite songfrom the album, but it was
definitely like my first lovefrom her album and I played it a
(12:00):
lot.
Yeah, from chapel moan, chapelroone, yeah chapel moan chapel
moan, oh yeah, oh.
Number two was houdini by dualipa, which I also think that
that's like a a recent or like alatency thing because, like, it
came out first, but I listenedto the, the whole album um
(12:22):
radical optimism so many timesand these walls was definitely
like.
I definitely listened to itmore than did you hear?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
have you heard?
Listened to her live album atthat?
Albert alberton or albert hallor yeah, whatever hall, oh she
could sing.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Oh yeah, I love her I think that would like.
If I had to pick like not basedoff data, but just like the,
the album that resonated with methe most, I'd say that album
was probably my favorite slayokay, number three three was
ariana grande, yes, and yes,which also everyone hated on
that album it's like, of course,the single is going to like
(12:59):
have more listens to than therest of the songs in the album
because it came out, like youknow, months before.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
But I I really liked the we can't be friends, yeah,
well I think that entire,because it wasn't super long and
a lot of people were like, oh,that album shouldn't have been
nominated, for I loved it.
I well, we both were goingthrough breakups when it came
out, but, like we, I loved it.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I have it on my vinyl wall upstairs because it's,
it's such a slag, it's so goodokay, number four was red wine,
supernova.
Okay, also great chapel, chapelmoan.
And then I don't know wherethis one came from, but I kind
of love it.
It's whatever by kygo and avamax.
You know the.
It's like a shakira sample,yeah, we heard that.
(13:42):
We listened to it, yeah at theconcert interesting which I do
love that song and I love avamax that's in my 2024 playlist.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Okay, because I make a playlist every year.
I used to do best season, butthat one's in it and I heard it
the other day I was like, wait,this is, it's so good, it's so
good yeah, slay, yeah.
Um, okay, what, who is your top?
Because only one of my topartists is in one of my top
songs.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
My top artist was Sabrina Carpenter.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
You are Carpenter.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
But that's what I mean.
Like none of her songs were inmy top songs.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Yeah, but you spread your listening across multiple
of her songs.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Yeah, but I definitely listen to Radical
Optimism more than I listen to.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
And is Dua in your top?
No, wow, I know.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
It doesn't make any sense.
We should write them a letter.
Yeah, you should.
I can't remember.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Oh, yeah, she is she actually is?
Speaker 2 (14:30):
She's number four.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Liar Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
My top artist was the Veronica's, because we went to
that concert and I didn't knowanything about them before we
met fell in love with them.
Yeah, rib cage by them is sogood, yeah, um, or like
something about this the girlyou never want a girl.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
You used to know.
Yeah, whatever it is, yeahwhatever.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
And then number two is anaya again another concert
playlist.
Number three was beyonce.
I'm shocked by wow.
Number four was ariana grande.
I'm really shocked by numberfive because it was later in the
year, griff griff.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
I only started listening to her like a week
before the concert and I can'tget enough.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
I know last night's mascara so good, so good and I
showed you the bet radio oneversion where she mixes it with
sabrina.
Yeah, so good but um moreimportantly, I am not a fake fan
of our podcast.
My, my, um no number?
Was it my number one?
Yeah, my number one podcast wasour podcast.
(15:29):
Number two is there's no gaysin montana, uh-huh, um which I
don't listen to podcasts yeah,so that's pretty much it because
I listen to ours, just so weget another download um not just
because you want to, like youknow, listen to your own content
.
That's fine but what meant a lotto me is someone that I follow.
I was scrolling throughinstagram and we were their
number two.
Oh wow, yeah, behind npr didthey tag us?
(15:53):
No rude, but we were theirnumber two podcast.
That's really sad.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
We have fans yeah, just are you surprised because
you're not even a fan.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Okay, listen to us.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
I'm sorry.
Uh, unfamously unwell was mynumber three podcast.
Number two was there are nogays in montana, and number one
you can't really be smart,smartless.
Oh, it's just pure comedy gold.
I listened to three episodestoday so you like tyler and
Isaac more than me.
I don't know how that'spossible as well.
(16:26):
Show me the data.
Well, Spotify did yeah.
Well, I think it's a little bitbiased, Like are there episodes
longer than us?
Is it like by the minute or bythe episode?
Because we have more episodesthan them.
It is by the minute I think andlike.
So we must have like shorterepisodes.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Because it tells you how many minutes you listen to
podcasts.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Right, I guess.
So which I'd say it's about,even between the two of us.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I feel okay about my relationship with them because
one of them finally registeredfor Pickleball and now we can
finally move forward.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Thank the Lord.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I know I felt like a mom.
Yeah, you know what Is that?
How you?
Speaker 2 (16:59):
feel about with me, they fill about with me, they
are like on vacation orsomething.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I saw them at the rodeo or something yeah, but
tyler, I can tell he's ananxiety girly because he got in
right away that doesn't meanhe's an anxiety girl.
Yes, because I would never wantto let someone down like that,
so I would have done the samething okay, or you're just like
assertive, proactive.
You know there's a millionother adjectives for you know
being on top of I also judge,because isaac's email was
outlook, like your work email,and the rest of us were Gmail
(17:25):
girlies Like that.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
So yeah, impersonal Right.
Yeah, like, are we even friends?
Do you want to be on this team?
I'm going to send him theAriana song.
We can't be friends.
You're off the team, which Ihope they're athletic Me too.
Well, they play a lot of gaysports, so Well, kickball.
They play other sports too.
(17:48):
What I don't know.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Archery Dodgeball maybe.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
No, they're not dodgeball girls, Okay well, but
I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Remember that big, tall man that we played against,
that beat us, that beat us.
We need to train Tyler to bethat.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
I feel like he's going to be in the like more
advanced league, but we'll seeokay, I have a couple more
questions for you about your topsongs.
Okay, um, is there a song onyour like playlist that keeps
coming back, like year afteryear, where it's it's like an
oldie but a goodie and it isalways in your top 50 or
(18:27):
whatever it is for your end ofyear wrapped.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yes, and I got to see her for the first time live
this year.
It's probably my favorite songof all time.
Okay, jess, glenn, don't Be soHard On Yourself.
Oh, yeah, we've talked aboutthis before, yeah, multiple
times.
There are songs like that I'lltake for, like the end, like the
songs like I've been addingover the last few weeks that
I'll put on my 2025 playlist,like carry over right, and that
(18:52):
song has never not been on myplaylist since it came out.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Yeah yeah, that's exactly the answer that I wanted
it.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
It well, you're welcome.
I'm a good study.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
You, yeah, you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
You got the assignment well, you probably
based the question off youraudience.
Um yeah, that one I it's stillto this day makes me cry like
it's just very emotive to me.
Yeah, what about you?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
mine is dancing on your own, dancing on my own by
robin.
It just comes out like everypride season and I play it like
a ton all summer long and itdoesn't matter where you are if
you're like dancing in the clubor on a boat or you know
whatever.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
In Mexico yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
In Mexico having a house party.
Like everyone loves that song,so I played a lot.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yeah, sly, yeah, okay , you have more questions for me
.
No, that was it More questions.
I know, yeah, slay, yeah, okay,you have more questions for me?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
no, that was it more questions, I know.
But then I like went throughand I realized, oh, we kind of
just covered all of them, okaybefore we get into more
emotional topics, what was yourfavorite concert of the year?
oh, I gotta go with the simmelconcert with the seattle
symphony.
It was a lot fun.
And just to like see an artistperform that's from Seattle,
(20:07):
who's like always dreamed ofperforming with the Seattle
Symphony, who, if you don't knowabout Simmel the lead singer,
is also, or used to be, part ofBarcelona, the band Barcelona,
(20:29):
the band barcelona, barcelonaand um started his own music
project called simmel and, butit's from seattle and um.
Just getting to see someone'sdream come true, like that was
so cool and the music wasamazing and his voice is like
hauntingly gorgeous you are asupportive girly yeah like you,
love witnessing peopleexperience the greatness that
life has to offer oh, that's agood way to put it, because
that's what it felt likeyeah, yeah, it's very motherly
(20:51):
in a way, but like you justyou're excited for other people
to win, yeah, to have victories,yeah, and you get to like see
that and that's like a reallycool thing to experience.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
So my favorite part about concerts is when people
just have that like holy fucklike I made it like so many
artists sold out madison squaregarden this year, to the point I
was like, is it hard to doanymore?
Right, because so many peopledid it?
Yeah, which could we do it?
No, we're going on tour.
I probably won't even show upI'm having a bad day.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
I missed my flight.
What if I have a bad day?
You missed my flight.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
That's why this podcast could never go on the
road.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
No.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
But I did get to see one of my favorite artists, jess
Glenn, and I got to see hersing Don't Be so Hard On
Yourself, live.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
I boohooed the entire time.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
I also got to see Renee Rapp Love her.
I also got to see Renee RappLove her, but I think up there
vocally.
Tori Kelly, yeah, she's laid.
The other one was Jessie Murph.
I saw her here last year andagain, her voice alone just
brings me to tears.
(22:01):
But that doesn't count.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
It was last year.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
No, but I saw her this past spring for the second
time.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Okay, got it.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Yeah, so Tori Kelly and Jesse Murph.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Jesse Murph's song what's it called.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
What Happened to Ryan .
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Nope, it's a duet.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Oh, someone in this Room, someone in this.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Room that album man, that gets me.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
But her, you know, that's the type of vocalist I
love that, just like her voicealone draws the emotion of the
song.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
And it's like, so distinct, like you know exactly
who's singing it as soon as sheopens her mouth and she sounds
like that live, yeah, oh wow.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
She has an unreleased song.
That's one of my favorite songsalso.
It's called Wild Flowers andWine.
You told me about this.
It makes me cry because ittalks about how your mom
deserves better love than she'sreceived yada, yada, yada.
That's enough about music.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Okay, the next question that I have is about
the most influential people inyour life in 2024.
So who really stood out to youas people that maybe, like,
helped guide you down like apath that you, like, weren't
expecting to go down, or werethere to support you in making
(23:11):
decisions that you needed tomake, or whatever you know,
whatever that means to you asmost influential?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Shockingly, my first answer is going to be my ex,
because I know that a splittingwasn't because someone didn't
care, but it also was.
It put me on a path of, I don'tknow, reconnecting with myself,
figuring things out.
Yeah, he gave me a newtransition in life, because I
(23:47):
heard this quote the other day,talked about how life is only
about transitions and the finaltransition being death.
But you transition between jobs.
You transition betweenfriendships and locations where
you live and relationships, yeah, and some transitions are
harder than others.
But, like without him doingthat, I would have stayed in a
(24:12):
relationship that would haveworked.
So I'm very appreciative of him, which you know.
Even a few months ago I don'tthink I would have said that, no
.
I would say that's a goodanswer.
Thank you, yeah.
Can you believe that shenoodled that?
Just that.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
No, I would say that's a good answer.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Thank you.
Yeah, can you believe that shenoodled that Just now?
Yeah, my second would be Idon't know, there's a lot of
relationships that I had withpeople that kind of let me down,
but it put me in a headspace oflike growing up.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
You learn something from it.
Yeah, like whether it was apositive or negative
relationship, you learnsomething about yourself from it
Another, the other influentialperson.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
she actually died this year with my mom all.
I think, that her place in mylife has always been like she
didn't give a fuck what anyonethought or said.
She always treated me just forme as I am.
Yeah, and her passing made merealize I don't know I'd work
(25:17):
with death all the time.
but it really really impacted me, because I've never really had
any other deaths like as anadult in my life.
To time is short, not to wasteit, yada, yada, yada.
My third one, of course, wouldbe you, kyle, um, oh and lord,
whenever you showed up to mybirthday party and I was like
(25:38):
I'm not gonna be friends withthis man because we hung out
independently and you were goingthrough a breakup.
Then you showed up to mybirthday, hung out independently
and you were going through abreakup.
Then you showed up to mybirthday party and been like, oh
, you just went through abreakup.
I'm like who the fuck is thisman?
Speaker 2 (25:46):
I'm teasing.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
I think that it's been hard for me to open up to
you, but you don't force it.
But you also are very gentlewhen I do, but also mix it with
reading me for filth at the sametime, because I don't want just
a friend who's just alwaysgentle, because fuck that yeah
so I like to build people upbefore I tear them down yeah,
that's a direct quote you usedon a previous episode.
(26:09):
Yeah, um so, yeah, I do it toyou all the time I would say
you'd be a top three and thentied for fourth would be lindsey
and tristan.
Oh yeah, and I think they bothbring things.
Lindsey was an unexpected, likecloser connection because I've
had met her before this year.
But um, seeing her grow andbeing vulnerable and sharing
(26:31):
like all this creativity thatshe's working through, yeah, um
has been very empowering,inspiring um.
And then tristan, she's thegirl in my life who just acts
the most like me and I just amdown to clown, yeah, but also
will show up and call me out andbe supportive.
So, yeah, those I have five,but they're scoring a four Okay.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Because two of them tied, okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Which I would not have thought my ex would have
been the first one.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
But yeah, I mean honestly, it makes sense the way
that you explained it, though,honestly, it makes sense the way
that you explained it, though.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Yeah, okay, what about you?
Who's been?
Speaker 2 (27:09):
the most influential, most impactful, most supportive
whatever term you want to useit.
I think my top person isdefinitely Lindsay and this is
Lindsay from Peace Love Localfrom episode nine of the first
season.
And shop now.
Shop now, yeah, um, what is itpeacelovelocalshop like?
We've always been like closefriends, but we've gotten closer
(27:33):
over the last year and I don't,I don't know why.
Maybe it's just that we've beenlike spending more and more
time together, and I think it'sthat she can make light of the
most serious things that aregoing on and make it feel like
she understands where you'recoming from, that she's been
(27:55):
through it too and that there'slike a safe path out of it.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
And she does it with such poise and grace.
Yeah, and it's not just likethe same chaotic responses like
Tristan or I give.
She does it where, like it'swisdom, but like I don't I get
what you're saying.
I guess that poise and grace isthe best, but also like she'll
be there with you in the middleof a rave or the club or doing
(28:22):
all these chaotic things too.
Yes, so it's nice that like,because very rarely do you get
like a friend that you lovegoing to the club with.
That also is a great bestfriend.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Right.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Because we talked about how people have different,
right, who's also like grounded?
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Yeah, I don't know, the best thing about life is
having such a strong foundationand base to explore from and you
can only explore as far as yourkite string, in this analogy,
will allow you to, and I feellike she has the longest kite
(28:57):
string.
She's lived so many lives.
Yeah, and I'm just like I wantto like have a kite string that
long and just be like fearlessand be able to, like you know,
travel far away from that likesturdy foundation, and know that
at some point I'm gonna reelmyself back in and land on
sturdy ground and I feel likewhen I'm with her I can do that
(29:19):
what was the single best thingthat happened to you this year?
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Oh God, okay.
But while you're thinking on it, I wanted to speak on a topic
that I, when I was answeringthese questions, I had such a
tough time picking out thepositives or the good things
that happened this year.
Yeah, and then in my book, whichyou've mentioned before, it
talked about negativity, bias,okay, and how we allow one or
(29:46):
two or a few negative thingsovershadow all the great
positive things, and I've comeback to this question list to
answer so many times and eachtime I just feel so
hypercritical of myself andthere are so many bad things.
But what I think is differentabout this year is the great or
(30:06):
the wonderful things are in thesmall details of the year, yeah,
and not these grandioseadventures or grandiose
experiences, mm-hmm.
So yeah, while you're thinkingon that, I just wanted to touch
on that because this was reallytough for me to answer, because
I was like God.
I just sound like I'm fuckingnegative, nancy.
Speaker 3 (30:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
I would say, the best thing that happened to me this
year.
That's the question.
I would say it's the freedomthat I had this year to redefine
and like rediscover what'simportant to me.
And it took like losing my joband breaking up with my
(30:51):
boyfriend in order to do that,but at the end of the day, it
brought me this like bigopportunity to like have this
like space and time where Ididn't have like a ton of um
obligations and expectations setupon me, where I could, you
(31:13):
know, take some time to reallyfigure out, like kyle, what do
you want?
Speaker 1 (31:17):
and I'm still figuring it out, but like,
listen to yourself, yeah, andnot be so overwhelmed with the
distractions that all thoseother things like bring.
We talked about this and how Ithink identity crisis are people
just dropping a bomb and likedisrupting their lives.
So much to silence all of thatyeah and it takes huge changes
(31:41):
for you to finally getreconnected to yourself, because
it almost brings you out ofsuch a comfortable environment
that you're so uncomfortablethat you're just like, okay,
this is so vastly different.
The only person that hasremained the same in this is
myself, and I need to startlistening to that.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
And I was listening to that in my book yesterday.
It was talking about trying toget reconnected with yourself.
Start with small things liketrying new foods and like do I
like this, Do I not like this?
And to grow that intuition andthat trust in your gut.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Oh yeah, and I've definitely been on like a long
couple month journey figuringthat stuff out.
Slay, yeah, what about you?
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Single best thing.
This was the hardest one for meto answer.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
What I find sometimes with this podcast is I'll write
stuff down like almost likethis is like what people want to
hear.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Yeah, but that's not genuine to me, right, I think
you're really good at thatSecond guessing yourself, in the
best sense of that phrase.
You know that makes sense yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Yeah, because I could be like what I just said was
bullshit.
I actually don't believe it.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Literally like within the same sentence no, I do not.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
No, I do not yes, I do no.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
I do not.
So I wrote down the podcast andI don't mean that negatively,
like it was one of the topthings for me because it allowed
me, it challenged me and itheld me accountable.
I think the single best thingthat happened to me this year
was I don't want to sound like abroken record, but I don't give
(33:17):
a fuck because it feels moregenuine was my breakup.
Yeah, I almost said that too,because I would have kept going
on that course of life until theother person told me they
didn't want me, and I think thathe did me a service
unintentionally probably of mylight was dwindling and I could
(33:40):
feel it, but I didn't.
I wasn't paying any attentionand although this has probably
been the toughest year that I'veexperienced, um of my adult
life, I think that it's thebiggest year of growth because
it's not like oh, I went throughbreakup and I moved across the
country.
Look at me now.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
It's.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
I'm having to rebuild in the same foundation that it
all came tumbling down.
I couldn't run and then likedistract myself.
I couldn't run and like, oh,look over here, or I had to
learn.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Sit with it yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
And I feel like I've sat with it a lot this year and
it's challenging me to show upbetter for myself.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Yeah, good answer, good answer.
Yeah, good answer, good answer.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Yeah, but I did put down the podcast first so I was
like that's such a politicallycorrect answer, but it doesn't
seem genuine Rude Like you'refine.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Obviously, I listen to this podcast the most, so
yeah, not me.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
It's my third best thing, I know.
I will say, though, that thebenefits of this podcast have
been way surpassed myexpectations of what we started
it as Agreed, which was justlike a way for the three of us
to get together and like to chatand catch up and share kind of
(34:58):
our perspective on gay culture,which I think that we're talking
about, things that a lot ofpeople are not talking about, at
least publicly, and I thinkthat that's important for you
know, that information to be outthere and for it to be
normalized and, to you know,have it on a public platform for
(35:18):
people to access.
So, in that sense, yeah, that'skind of what I expected to get
out of it.
But, above and beyond that, therelationships that we've built
with you know, other podcastersin Seattle, the relationship
that we've built with each otherand how it's brought us closer
together, and the camaraderieand like going out talking about
(35:44):
it with people at gay bars andhaving that positive feedback
resonated back to me, wasanother unexpected benefit to it
.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
Yeah, I agree with all of what you said.
Especially, I don't think wewould be as close if we didn't
do this, because it kind of notforced.
We would still like hung outand obviously we live together.
But I think that it created aspace that you can be vulnerable
, you can share, you can go deep, you can be silly.
All other times I've been themost vulnerable on this episode,
(36:19):
on this podcast, has been theamount of time that I've gotten
the most positive feedback, yeah, and that people resonate with
it more like when you were uhadmitted to needing intervention
from franzia.
Get fucked and I, and you know Igave it up.
I gave up franzia.
Now I'm on my charter, joe'sbox, box, right.
But I've also like there's likewhy am I telling the internet?
(36:40):
I shit myself.
Why am I telling the internet?
I hooked up in a honey bucket,like there's a lot of chaos that
goes on in my life, that like Iwould only pick certain people
to know.
But all of the vulnerabilitythat we've shared, especially in
this year, I think that it wasthe perfect timing for the
podcast and our lives.
Yeah, Because, like I think wewould have given BS answers
(37:03):
years prior.
It is freeing.
You know what?
That's the best way to describethe podcast.
It's been very freeing, yeah,because then, like, oh, y'all
chose to listen to it, not me.
I didn't force this on you.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
Oh my god.
And like, if you don't want tohear it, then you just don't
listen to it.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Yeah, so yeah, it's been very freeing, love it.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Okay, okay, next question for you.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
What's the biggest hurdle that you've had to
overcome this year?
Numbing your problems will makethem go away or make them
quieter.
It honestly does the opposite.
The longer you numb, the louderyour problems become.
Is that a quote?
It the longer you numb, thelouder your problems become.
Is that a quote?
My biggest hurdle was um theamount of self doubt and self
negative talk that I've had.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
That's where I thought you were going with that
quote.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Yes, yeah, before I was interrupted, um, uh, I
should have been like oh, I havea quote for you.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
Should have started there.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Right, but I think that I've been very hard on
myself all year and that's beena hurdle that I've struggled
with in the past, but I Iusually would have dealt with it
better, but this year I'vetried to numb it out a lot
(38:21):
between being busy with work orjust busy in life, or wine, or
just lots of different avoidanttactics.
Yeah, because I don't know,it's very tough to speak
positively of yourself when youfeel like your worth was placed
(38:42):
on someone else and you losethat person.
So of course you're just goingto like speak negatively to
yourself.
But, I've been running from itall year instead of just dealing
with it head on.
So it's been my biggest hurdleand I still haven't gotten over
it.
Yeah, the hurdle yet, because Iwas trying to, you know, be
positive and speak highly ofmyself, but it's not easy.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
No, I think everyone struggles with that.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Honestly, yeah, a lot and I've dealt with it my
entire life.
But I think that it's alwaysbeen in like one area, like when
I was in college, like oh, Ifailed that test, or I haven't
been doing great at school, or Ihaven't been doing great at a
relationship or haven't beendoing great at this, but or I
haven't been doing great atschool, or I haven't been doing
great at a relationship, or Ihaven't been doing great at this
(39:22):
, but this year it feels likeit's been happening in multiple
areas.
So I think that that's why Ichose to numb it out is because
I didn't know how to deal withall of these different negative
self-doubts that I was goingthrough or have been going
through.
What can you do better in 2025to be better at your job?
I don't have a job, a career orum I could um apply to a job.
(39:50):
I was gonna.
You know what, we can skip thisone, but I was gonna tell you
when I say something like Icould learn to trust my instinct
or know my work at a job orlike trust my gut and like know
what I bring to the table, orlike I already know all that.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Okay, I think that I've also learned this year that
I'm a really good peoplemanager, and I didn't think I
wasn't sure that I was in thepast.
But yeah, I guess, just likelooking back, I would.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
I would give myself a pat on the back yeah, because
you see the worth so easily inother people, whether it be
professionally or romanticallyor in your private life, even
strangers.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
You see it, zach, on the fucking side of the street
blood on his knees that wehelped get up.
I think it comes down tounderstanding why each
individual person shows up onyour team to work, like whether
that's for a paycheck, whetherthat's for like work experience,
whether that's for like abetter title, you know, whether
it's just to like pass the timebecause they have nothing else
(40:50):
to do.
And knowing, like, how do youmotivate those people to show up
as the best version ofthemselves?
Do you motivate those people toshow up as the best version of
themselves and how do youincentivize them to grow their
skill set?
You know, grow within thecompany.
When I think that a lot ofpeople just like take one
standard approach to managementand they treat everyone the same
(41:12):
and that doesn't really work inmy eyes, because everyone's
showing up differently.
Everyone has differentbackgrounds, experiences and
motivations for coming to work.
And if you just are, you know,giving someone a three or three
to 5% raise every year andhoping that that's going to
motivate them to, you know, comeback year after year, I don't
(41:32):
think that really works.
Okay, what were your like?
Good or bad, or, like you know,best or worst habits of the
year?
Speaker 1 (41:45):
kyle, don't even look at me like that uh-huh uh,
start with, start with good,okay none I did.
No, I did.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
No.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Uh-huh, you got nothing.
I was just telling you how Inumbed out all of the year.
Thank you, that's not good.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
I know that's not like it feels, very important.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
Do you want me to sing your 12 days of Shut up?
Speaker 1 (42:16):
No, Okay, my good habits of the year.
I think that you brush yourteeth every morning.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
Yes, and every night that's a win your bath time,
your yeah yeah, your self-careroutine.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
Yeah.
I mean bath time's one of them.
Bath time Adding bath oil.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Because if it's drying my skin, why not hydrate
it Exactly?
Speaker 3 (42:40):
A little bath oil.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
But I can answer the Bad yeah, okay, vaping wine
avoidance.
Uh-huh, not responding topeople, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah,
that's plenty, that's plenty.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah, that's plenty,that's plenty.
Yeah, honestly, I don't thinkany of them are like that bad.
I mean, we give a differentadvice every single week and
we've talked about all, all ofthose in the past, um, but what
are you going to do differentabout 2025 to change those
habits?
Speaker 1 (43:16):
that's a good, oh, that's a good way to frame that
Cause they're not.
I felt a lot of guilt tosharing them, but going into the
new year, they're not habitsthat are holding me back.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
The habit is like not using them as a crutch anymore.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Yeah, but the habits that are holding me back are the
self doubt and like like ahabitual, you know, negative
self-doubt and like like ahabitual you know negative
self-talk or you know what.
The biggest thing that's uhheard me this year like as far
as habits go, is not being in aroutine.
I thrive on a routine and Inoticed that today I had my
(43:52):
whole routine throughout themorning and through the day, and
look at me thriving.
Speaker 3 (43:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Actually showing up to record this podcast, I'm
going to plus one that for me aswell.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
But why is?
And I think maybe it's the ADHDbrain, but whenever I'm not
feeling so great, I'm like fuckthat routine.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
The routine.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
I'm just going to react to everything throughout
my day and not have an intentionabout it.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
And that's when I have the worst days, yeah, and
in reality the routine is likewhat's you know?
Bringing it back to center.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Right, I need the predictability to that and low
dopamine help me thrive in a day.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
Yeah, so more routine , yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Yeah, that's how I'm going to better myself.
Yeah, I'm going to second thattoo.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
I was like driving here after dropping off candles
for Christmas presents for someof our friends, and I was like
man I used to have this sayinglike when I got back from
vacation, like okay, back on theprogram, you know, like back
into the routine, back into likethe you know morning workout,
(44:57):
the healthy lunch, the you knowgoing to going on a walk after
work or whatever.
And I think without the routineof like a nine to five job and
I don't know having someone athome to like cook dinner for or
whatever it was, that was likedriving that.
(45:18):
The program, as I call it, I'vejust like completely like
demolished my routine, so Idefinitely need to get back into
that how can I better supportyou in a routine like that?
Speaker 1 (45:28):
because I'm also the one that's like do you want
pizza?
I know I'm.
I'm like the devil on yourshoulder it's terrible, honestly
it's it's your fault.
I can show up for walks.
You don't want?
Speaker 2 (45:41):
to work out with me in the morning.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Absolutely not.
I have little tiny three-pounddumbbells, the idea of lifting
something heavy at 7 am.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
What about like a wine bottle?
No, just lift the wine bottle.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
I'll go on walks with you.
Okay, I don't enjoy working outand it doesn't help me mentally
.
Yeah, going on walks.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Let's go on a walk Every evening and we're about to
build in some more fit routines, because I think, pickleball is
helpful.
You know what would be anothergood one If I join the Planet
Fitness and then you go to thetanning bed while I go do some
ab crunches.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
I think honestly I'm going to go there to study.
Like just get on the treadmilland just answer my questions.
Because then it also helps mybrain work through things and
I'm moving.
So that's my thought.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Okay, let's do that.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Okay, your turn.
Okay.
First off, did you have a wordfor this year, this past?
Speaker 2 (46:37):
year.
I don't think I did this year.
Speaker 1 (46:41):
I know it's terrible.
That's okay If I did.
I just started it two years ago, so Okay.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Yeah, I don't remember what it was.
Did you have a word?
Speaker 1 (46:50):
of the year I did For 2024?
.
I did, it was authenticity.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
So what's your word for 2025?
Speaker 2 (47:05):
oh, I wrote down a couple notes, but I think
intuition, oh, that's mine nofuck, that's mine, all four of
mine.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
I put a.
I remember I was like how to doan asterisk and I put wait, I
like literally, was just talkingto lindsey about this last
night intuition this year.
My goal is become more in tunewith myself and trust my gut
seriously wait, I love thisperiod.
Speaker 2 (47:22):
End of sentence.
Okay, I, there's this thing.
I'm like gonna go on a littlebit of a tangent that's fine,
I'll allow it okay, there's thisthing you know, I grew up
mormon and there's this thing inthe church called um the holy
ghost and, like you know, mostreligions have this concept of
the Holy Spirit or whatever.
Yeah, the Father, the Son, theHoly Spirit, amen.
(47:43):
Okay, but in the Mormon churchit's called the Holy Ghost and,
at like a really young age,you're taught that the Holy
Ghost is with you at all times.
It is like this still smallvoice inside of you that is
always helping guide yourdecision making and you're
(48:04):
taught at like a really youngage, to trust that voice, and I
feel like it's such a blessingI'm using the religious word,
you know hashtag blessed to betold that, at like a really
young age, that you can trustyourself, you can trust your gut
, and, yeah, they use areligious, you know framework in
(48:26):
order to explain it.
But I think it's true in youknow, a secular sense too, where
, like, we don't tell kids totrust their instincts.
We tell them this is how youshould live your life.
These are the decisions thatyou should make.
Actually, let me just make themfor you and then expect them to
grow out, yeah, as adults yeahand I feel like I've I've
(48:50):
definitely lost that over timeand I've seen people lose that
as they get older and older.
They trust themselves less andless, and I think that it's
really important to be able tolike trust your gut, and that's
going to be my intention for2025.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
Oh my God.
Yeah, we have the same word forthe year.
I love it.
I was not expecting that.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
Neither.
Speaker 1 (49:14):
Cause I've wrote down four like three other things
and I was like for some reasonthat one, just that's the one.
Because all of the most I don'tknow enjoyment that I felt in
life, but the most just peacethat I felt is and I have
mentioned this to several peopleis if you go with your gut,
answer your emotional responselike that, even if it's the
(49:34):
wrong choice, you're never goingto beat yourself up about it
because it felt right at thattime.
Because you're never going tobeat yourself up about it
because it felt right at thattime, right Because you're
trusting your gut, right.
But if you go with a logicbrain, you're like, oh, I should
have seen this coming, I shouldhave noticed that I should have
done this or I should havetried harder.
But if you really allow yourgut to be your guide, yeah, you
can.
You can't beat yourself up nearas much because at that time in
(49:56):
your life that's what you feltdrawn to do.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
Yeah, it's also, like it almost is reassuring
yourself, that you trustyourself, and that helps in like
other aspects of life too, youknow, with your own self.
Esteem your own self worth.
You know all of it.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
And the more in tune you become with your gut.
You can just like, even if youhave no logical reasons, like
something's off, I need toremove myself in this situation.
Or like, I don't know thisperson very well, but something
about like this situation ontheir fun, or like you just
start it naturally, going wherelife feels like you should be
going instead of like fightingagainst it.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:37):
Mm-hmm Slay.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Okay, then I want you to start with your victory of
the year.
Okay, actually, no, fuck that.
Start with your vice.
We need to end on victories.
Speaker 2 (50:49):
Okay, I like that.
Yeah, Okay, let's get intovictory and vice.
I'll go first with my vice.
So I think my biggest vice of2024 was that like I hate to say
that it's the vice, because Ireally enjoyed this part of 2024
, but it's really that Iprioritized my like having fun
(51:10):
with my family and friends somuch in 2024 that it kind of
like overshadowed my desire forlike personal growth from like a
financial perspective, from acareer perspective, from like a
health and wellness perspective.
Even and yes, those moments arewhat got me through 2024,
(51:35):
because they were so tough, arewhat got me through 2024,
because they were so tough.
But it also like kind of tooktime and resources away from
other things that matter too.
So I think it's in 2025, I wantto like find that a better
balance.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
Um, you know I interact with a lot of people in
their deathbed.
None of them have ever told methe brightest parts of their
life or the things that meantthe most to them were.
Were career, money?
Any of that related?
Speaker 2 (52:07):
is about those moments and memories right, and
I think that you really neededthat this year I did, and it's
so different than all the yearsprior yeah, that's why you
probably feel a little bit ofguilt about it, and that's why I
like I don't want to reallylike say oh, it's a vice,
because I I needed it, like itwas so important to my last year
to make that the top priorityand be feel connected and
(52:28):
supported by my family andfriends and having fun with them
and getting up to shenanigansand distracting myself from some
of the shit storm that wasgoing on throughout the year.
But you know, hopefully 2025becomes a little bit more stable
and I guess I'm just saying Idon't need to go on.
(52:51):
You know five gaycations nextyear.
Speaker 1 (52:54):
For under $2,000,.
You should go on 10.
Yes, I should.
You should go on 10.
Yes, I should.
Speaker 2 (52:58):
Yes, I should.
Speaker 1 (52:58):
Because, honestly, this podcast would have been
boring without it.
Speaker 3 (53:00):
I guess I have no vice, I guess.
I have no vice yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:06):
You get what I'm saying, though.
Yes, I'm following.
So it's a vice, because itdidn't feel as well balanced as
you would have liked it Right?
Speaker 2 (53:12):
yeah, oh balance.
Speaker 1 (53:20):
That year, my word for 2024.
Yeah, you did not meet that atall, nope nope.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
But you know what, though?
Sometimes you have to offsetthe balance.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Yeah, to get back on, yeah because then you would
have still been balanced, youwould have been prioritizing all
these logistical things right.
So again, you just need to havea britney year.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
I did you just grew a mustache instead of shaving
your hair.
Yeah, okay, what was your viceum?
Speaker 1 (53:36):
probably biggest vice of 2025, probably social
anxiety before.
Yeah, okay, that was reallydetrimental to me this year you
struggled with that, yeah, and Ithink I, in a lot of ways, I
prevented it from enjoying a lotof, like, small moments or
memories with people, but, um,yeah, that would be my biggest
vice.
Just to summarize, it would beokay social anxiety and I this
(53:59):
is the year that I've reallyonly ever dealt with it, other
than when I was mute as a child,I guess.
But the ultimate form right ofsocial anxiety now all these
people know that I speak, so Ican't just go mute again it
wouldn't be great if you did I'mlike, oh, this is my friend
kyle or caleb?
Speaker 2 (54:17):
he doesn't, but I just heard him talk last week.
No, he doesn't speak anymore, Ijust whispered in your ear.
Speaker 1 (54:22):
He's not, he's having fun.
Yeah, he's having a great time.
Where's your bathroom?
He needs to go.
So communicating to you Um,okay, what's your victory?
Speaker 2 (54:32):
Okay, my, my biggest victory of 2024 was just finding
my voice again after being in arelationship where I lost my
voice and I was with someone whoyou know didn't respect my
values.
And just getting to separatemyself from all of that and
(54:53):
rediscover you know what my realvalues are and just like being
proud of who I am yeah, slayingand you've surrounded yourself
with people that are buildingyou up.
Speaker 1 (55:04):
Oh yeah, you're great .
You're great right, and justkeep doing what you're doing
yeah, mary slaymas, thank youokay, um what's yours um I think
the amount of time that I spentwith myself this year, oh yeah,
although a lot of it wasdrowning a lot of things out and
(55:25):
numbing.
I think that each time it waslike almost like small identity
crisis.
We were just talking about how,like blowing up a bomb to
silence everyone.
I think the time alone that I'vehad this year gave me small
moments of reconnecting withmyself that I usually in the
(55:47):
past would try to find myself inother people and other
activities and being busy.
I think my vice of socialanxiety really allowed me to
just sit with myself, yeah,instead of being so busy, and
because, lord knows, at thebeginning of this year I wanted
(56:07):
to move again.
And I was hell bent undeterminedon doing that and I think that,
sitting with myself, I knowdeep down that I don't need to
run for my problems, and that'swhat that would have been.
Yeah, but 2025, low-key.
I want to move Same, we'll see.
Speaker 2 (56:26):
Yeah, we'll have to do this virtually.
Speaker 1 (56:29):
Hi, kyle, where are you?
The Bahamas, okay, how is thatfinancial wellness thing you're?
Speaker 2 (56:36):
doing Okay.
Speaker 1 (56:37):
Yeah, this is your sixth trip in two months.
Speaker 2 (56:40):
Okay, oh, and you have two Mai Tais in your hand,
oh okay.
Speaker 1 (56:43):
Oh well you do have two fists.
Why not?
Why not?
Yeah, is there any last phraseor thing that you want to leave
with the listeners to round outthe year, or even like a note to
your future self?
Speaker 2 (57:01):
I would say be flexible with your New Year's
resolutions, be flexible withyour goals, because I learned
this year that sometimes you'renot going to like meet your
goals and sometimes you're goingto have to like pivot, and it's
a hard thing to do.
In psychology there's thisthing called fictional finalisms
.
Basically, it's like when youhave this very like structured
(57:26):
mindset where you set a goal andthat goal becomes like an end,
all be all and your whole likeself worth is tied up into it
and you can't imagine your lifenot accomplishing that goal.
And it's like a reallymaladaptive like mindset to have
.
Because we find that people whostress themselves out to the
(57:49):
point of like exhaustion or, youknow, perfectionism, but people
who can adapt and change theirgoals and it doesn't have to be
like sweeping changes, but theycan make small adjustments to
what those goals are and thosepeople are usually the most
successful because they end upaccomplishing smaller goals and
(58:12):
they change those goals.
As you know, their environmentchanges.
Speaker 1 (58:16):
Could that same idea be applied to?
Like the mindset, especiallybeing from the South?
Oh, same idea be applied tolike the mindset, especially
being from the South.
Oh, I'll be happy when I'mmarried to have kids, have a job
after graduation.
And then people who get there,they're like this is not great.
Those goals didn't make mehappy, right Like, what do I do
now, now that I've reached them?
Is that like a similar mindset?
Speaker 3 (58:35):
framework.
Speaker 1 (58:35):
Definitely Okay, like a similar mindset framework.
Yeah, definitely okay.
So I understand that.
That makes sense.
Um, what about you?
Mine is a piece of advice thatyou've given me is just show up
in whatever way or version youcan that day, and it's not.
It may not be a version thatyou like or that other people
like, but just showing up ishalf the battle yeah and
(58:58):
sometimes you'll surpriseyourself true yeah, very true,
okay.
Speaker 2 (59:04):
Well, thank you for listening to this week's episode
.
We want to hear about yourfictional finalisms, how
maladaptive your thoughtprocesses are, and we want to
hear about your year in reviewwhat you're proud of, what
you're not so proud of.
And I would love to hear aboutyour year in review what you're
proud of, what you're not soproud of.
Speaker 1 (59:20):
I would love to hear people even just who is the most
impactful person for them thisyear, Even just something like
there doesn't have to be thisgrandiose idea, but I would just
like to hear because it also ishelpful.
We're giving our perspective ona lot of things.
I would love to hear otherpeople's perspective.
Speaker 2 (59:37):
Yeah, and what word of the year will be and why?
So?
Shoot us a email tounfamouslyunwell at gmailcom.
Follow us on Instagram atunfamouslyunwell and DMS there,
or you can click the link in thedescription and shoot us a text
and until next year, until nextyear, until next year.
(59:59):
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, we're going to take alittle break, but we will see
you in the new year.
So until next year we wish youwell.
Happy New.
Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
Year.
That's good.
That's better than what I hadto say.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
Thanks for listening to another episode of Unfamously
Unwell, the unrated podcasthosted by your two favorite
Seattle homosexuals on a journeyto higher health.
Listen each week as we deepdive into a new topic and give
you all the dirty details of oursuccesses and failures along
the way.
Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
You can send us your questions, feedback or share
your own victory advice bywriting to unfamouslyunwell at
gmailcom or by clicking the linkat the bottom of the
description to shoot us a text.
We'd love to hear from you andshare your stories on the pod.
Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
We'll see you back here next week for another
unhinged episode of.
Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
Unfamously Unwell Unrated.
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