Monogamish in Montana

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's called psycho-urinary retention.
Like the airport Mm-hmm, that'sa big word Whoa?

Speaker 4 (00:04):
Yeah, you can't pee at the airport.

Speaker 3 (00:07):
I mean I do, it's just I don't like it.

Speaker 4 (00:09):
That's why I always, if you sit down, it makes you a
little bit more comfortable.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
But I also like we got to reform bathrooms, just in
general.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
Especially in gay bars.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
Yeah, just in general , Like I just like I just don't
know why.
I have no problem, let it beknown, I have no problem pooping
or peeing, he will shitanywhere he's like give me a
mountain dew bottle in the car,I'll pee in it yeah truly he
would shit in that room rightthere with the door open and I'd
be like I would talk to youyeah um, okay, so really quickly
at the cuff.

Speaker 5 (00:36):
So this one was a little bit.
This is like my limit so I haveto put all of a sudden, like a
poop hits on Sunday of pride.
We're all at the cuff.
We see y'all outside.
We're like, ah, talk, talk,talk.
I say to, I turn to Isaac.
I'm like I have to shit.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
And like right now.

Speaker 5 (00:51):
And you know the like , the hallway bathroom at cuff
that everybody goes up to fromthe dance floor there's one
stall.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
There were so many porta-potties there.
No, okay, yeah, yeah, you'regoing inside.

Speaker 5 (01:02):
No, we're going inside.
Okay, yeah, we're leaving theporta-potties for hookups.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
We're going inside, got it yes and so we More
sanitary.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
I have to shit, I'm like I don't want to do this
Because also that specificbathroom, the, so everyone knows
what I'm doing.

Speaker 5 (01:24):
I'm not doing drugs.
And then it's also it's likemore embarrassing that you're
actually shitting.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
I know, so everyone knows in there.
There's a huge line there withyou.

Speaker 5 (01:32):
Everyone knows yes, and there's a whole line of
people that are wanting to go inthere to do drugs.

Speaker 4 (01:37):
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:45):
And then also on top of that Pants at the ankles?

Speaker 5 (01:46):
Yeah, pants at the ankles, blowing up the bathroom
right Like we'd been out thenight before.
Tiktok videos on loud TikTokvideos on yes, yes, and then do
you remember that story that Itold, where the person the night
before had told me that theydidn't want to kiss me?

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Oh yes yes, and I said, maybe another day.
Who's outside of the stall whenI walk?

Speaker 5 (02:01):
out the door.
No, that fucking person.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
No, and I'm like hi.
I would have asked him if hewanted to kiss now.
Yeah, is now a good time.

Speaker 4 (02:08):
How about now, when?

Speaker 5 (02:08):
you said maybe another day, did you mean like
today, right?

Speaker 2 (02:11):
now.

Speaker 4 (02:11):
Yeah, it is the next day Should we kiss.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
This week we're welcoming fellow Seattle
podcasters, tyler and Isaac ofthere Are no Gays in Montana to
the show.
They were best friends incollege before either of them
were out and now they're married.
If you haven't listened totheir podcast, please do.
It's not quite as spicy as ours, but it's equally as
entertaining and they have somereally important things to say
when it comes to gay culture.

Speaker 4 (02:39):
In this episode, however, they have promised to
play by our rules.
We're going deep into openrelationships, since all of us
have either been in one or beenimpacted by one.
And then the psychology behindhow growing up gay impacts our
relationships later in life.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
Okay, so back to your introduction.

Speaker 5 (02:53):
I'm Isaac.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yeah, Um what do we want to know?

Speaker 3 (02:56):
Oh, give me what makes you unfamous and what
makes you unwell, the only one Ican think of is one, so I used
what I think of is one, so Iused to work in vegas in the
hotels oh yeah so I worked atthe cosmopolitan front desk and
then I worked in hotel sales forthe venetian, so you'd get a
lot of like high-level celebritythings that were coming in yeah
like one time they came in andthey filmed.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
I remember when the hills had like a reboot, new
beginning yeah, the city wait,no, not that long ago, but like
two or three years ago, rightduring during COVID, they
brought everybody back.
I lost interest after the cityFair.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
So you'd have lots of celebrity interactions like
that.
The one that I remember themost is do you guys, do you know
who Abigail Breslin is?

Speaker 1 (03:34):
Oh, yes, she was in.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
Little Miss Sunshine.
She's Little Miss Sunshine.

Speaker 4 (03:37):
Oh, the main, like main little one, main girl,
little Miss Sunshine.
Okay, a little bit of sunshine.

Speaker 3 (03:41):
Okay, well, now she's probably like 30.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:43):
So at the time, I don't know, she was like 25.
Anyway, she had a bungalowrented and one time she was like
blitzed out of her mind andneeded a room key made.
And I made her a room key.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
Oh my God, that makes you so unfamous, that's great
the closest.
I've been to celebrity fame.

Speaker 5 (03:59):
Okay, go ahead, okay go ahead, okay.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
Um, so my name is tyler.
Everyone can follow me at tl,nelson 55.
Just kidding, um, you canpromote yourself shamelessly.
It's what makes you unfamous.

Speaker 5 (04:11):
Yes, exactly so we grew up in montana.
Um, I've lived in seattle forthe last seven years, I would
say what makes me unfamous.
My closest like claim to fameis my grandma's step cousin.
Okay, your grandma's step isthe drummer for the band
survivor, which does the songeye of the tiger oh wow yeah

Speaker 1 (04:32):
so grandma's step cousin, I think, so follow up
with my grandma.
But it's.

Speaker 5 (04:38):
I don't think it's like a blood thing.
I think it's a marriage thingokay, by marriage.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
Yeah, growing up that was always like your second
cousin twice yeah, somethinglike that step cousin twice
removed something he's familyfamily.

Speaker 5 (04:50):
Yeah, he was at a family wedding once and everyone
was like oh, it's like it'sthree cents for every one
million plays.

Speaker 4 (04:56):
Yeah, check I would love he's still waiting for the
check yeah, yeah okay and yeah,isaac.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
What makes you unwell ?

Speaker 3 (05:04):
tyler and I were talking about this in the car
because I was like why don't youthink you're a toxic trader and
what's mine?
And then of course it turnedinto a bigger match of who has
the toxic trade.

Speaker 5 (05:11):
Yeah, you want to know what makes you unwell, I'll
tell you right now.

Speaker 4 (05:14):
Oh my god, that would be fun yeah, do it.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
Yeah, do you do each other's good.

Speaker 5 (05:17):
You had the right, you were right for yours.
Yeah, I just said your abilityto say sorry.
It's true.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
Oh my gosh, yeah, we went there.
I was going to say we wentthere in the Starbucks line.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
We're actually seeing it right here, live in the
studio.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
I'm a really bad apologizer.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
Is it just the?

Speaker 4 (05:32):
words itself, or you just don't ever feel sorry for
your actions.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
Problem is if you want to talk unwell.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
I think it's both.

Speaker 3 (05:39):
Oh my God, it's a bowl, oh my.
God, it's just not myvocabulary, sorry, yeah, I think
my family's really bad at itand I just inherited that trait,
and so it's just like we kindof we're really quick to move on
.

Speaker 5 (05:50):
So, we'll like, hash it out, we will have like His
family, not him and I.

Speaker 3 (05:54):
All out, knock out, say the worst things and then
like next day.
We're like okay, what do youwant?
Want to do for dinner?

Speaker 1 (06:00):
like that.

Speaker 3 (06:01):
It's just kind of and I think it's good because it
makes me.
I'm an extremely forgivingperson and just like move on
that could make up for it.

Speaker 5 (06:07):
Okay, but I'm a really bad apologizer which is
crazy to me because, like in myfamily hold me down if there's
something like that in my family, we're like broken up about it
for like 24 hours or untilsomeone apologizes, like there's
like a coming apart, don't talkfor a bit, come back and like
like I'm so sorry, I didn't meanto do that, I didn't mean to
say that.
Yep, cause like not being okayand not having harmony.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
I think it's healthier too.
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (06:30):
But to a degree sometimes, I think sometimes we
over index to where it becomeslike people don't get to
actually like, process theemotion.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
It's more about becoming harmonious rather than
actually getting through it.
Priority is harmony overhonesty.
Yeah, I'm very much like.
I want the honest truth of that.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
There is a middle road, regardless of feelings.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:51):
Like.
I just want to get to the truth.
And feelings are like abyproduct.

Speaker 5 (06:55):
And we have a lot of discussion about this.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
Like I, said very toxic oh okay, but Do you hold
grudges?

Speaker 3 (07:06):
This is my life, not at all okay okay because,
because I'm able to get to that,I'm just like not a grudge
holder, I'm like the importantthing is we got to the truth
yeah or we got to like yourhonest feelings.
The priority was not that Imade you feel okay about it or
made you feel fine, yeah, orbetter.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
I feel like I'm actually like closer to, yeah,
the way that you handle conflict.
Yeah, we're like, if somethingbothers me, like I'm okay with
that, like yep, if it keepshappening and I see a pattern,
then I'm like, okay, we need totalk about this you know, then I
can like, then I'll let out.
You know how I'm feeling yeahbut if it's just like, okay, you

(07:40):
kind of piss me off, then I'mlike like that's fine, let's
move on.
Yeah, okay, yeah, or I makedecisions to like, have less of
them in my life or you know like.
Is it worth it?
Am I getting out what I'mputting in?

Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
Now do it for me I don't know if that's healthy,
but Well, on the same note, Iwould say, yours is you've even
realized that this is the thing,maybe within the last year
toxic positivity oh, it's realfolks it's so unreal.
Yeah, it's like we don't haveto be okay about this yeah, I
think I've gotten better, but Ifeel like in relationships you

(08:14):
want there to be harmony.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yep, I think it's gotten better maybe you don't
yeah, right, no, we do but thething is is I?

Speaker 3 (08:23):
want the harmony to be authentic because we went
through the honest, hard pointstalked through at the conflict
resolution to get to harmony,whereas sometimes people are
like let's just not talk aboutit, we're gonna be harmonious,
we're just gonna forget it.
Yeah, like that never works.

Speaker 5 (08:36):
Yeah but good luck yeah I would.
I I've thought about it a lot.
It's, I think, definitelysomething that's comes from like
my upbringing.
But yeah, so I would like if Ihated my job I wouldn't really
talk about it or say it, I wouldjust be like it's fine, down
right it's fine.
Everything's fine, everything'sgood or like if we were having,
if I was having, like an actualissue in a friendship.

(08:58):
Continue to just like, go thesame path and remain positive
rather than like actuallyaddressing it is, yeah, I guess
a toxic if you want to say toxictrait positivity toxic, but I
mean like it gives you a lot ofgood things.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
Yeah, like you are very much like, so even keel in
your life whereas I'm like updown, right down.

Speaker 5 (09:16):
We've been using the word equilibrium recently.

Speaker 4 (09:18):
Yeah, I like that, yeah, so how do you guys know
each other?
Uh, give us a little bit of abackstory.

Speaker 5 (09:24):
Yeah, perfect.
Have you ever heard of Sniffies?

Speaker 1 (09:26):
Oh my God, I just learned so much about it on your
most recent episodes.
Which bathroom was it?
The Cuff?

Speaker 5 (09:34):
No, apparently the airport SeaTac, terminal 17.
The airport, yeah, anyway, goahead.

Speaker 3 (09:38):
Okay, so the what do you say?
30 second elevator pitch of us30 second elevator pitch of us.
So Tyler and I are married.
We've been married for threeand a half years, going on four,
and Tyler and I've beentogether for we'll be 10 years
this spring.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
Oh my gosh.
So we'll add the applause inthe background.

Speaker 5 (09:56):
Yay, okay.

Speaker 3 (09:56):
Fun.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
Um, and we actually met in college, so we were both
straight growing up in Montana.
I'm from a tiny town calledStevensville, that's like about
2000 people.
Tyler's from the largest quotecity of Billings, which is like
a hundred and 110,000 people 120.

Speaker 5 (10:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
So like, even though people look at Montana and they
see that as like it's all thesame.

Speaker 3 (10:17):
It's all tiny towns, very different upbringings,
because Tyler was quote city kidand I was very much like farm
agriculture.
You played every sport becauseyou needed to have enough people
to play the sport or else theywouldn't have a team.
So grew up very rural and thenwe both met in Bozeman.
So I was actually an RA andTyler was a resident and we just

(10:39):
kind of had this like immediatebudding friendship oh, so
you're older.
Yes, I'm two years older thantyler, so I was actually a
junior and I was an assistantresident director and part of
what you do is you run what'scalled residence hall
association or hall council,which is like student government
for the building, and you takeeverybody's social fees and you
do like a bunch of events.
So tyler was on my hall councilas a sustainability chair.

(11:02):
Yep, that's how we met and thenit was just like an immediate
friendship.
I think we both grew up justlike not having like a strong
male best friend or strong,strong relationship with male
peers I would say definitely inthe classic traditional gay
sense.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
Yeah, all my friends were girls.

Speaker 3 (11:19):
Yeah yep, and so just immediate friends and just over
the next three years justbecame like best friends and
then eventually we came out toeach other.
Tyler came out to me and I waslike holy shit, me too when we
were roommates.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
It was at the same time two nights before we were?

Speaker 3 (11:37):
no, it was like six weeks apart.
Oh okay, like two nights beforewe were moving out.
We hooked up for the first timeBecause like six weeks before
Tyler came out and he was like Ineed to tell you something.
So he told me like that's great, I love you, that's awesome.
And then six weeks later I waslike, oh my God, me too.

Speaker 5 (11:54):
And then we hooked up the night before we moved out.
I had like best friends fromhigh school.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
So you could have been hooking up the whole time
um, so anyways, then we hookedup for the first time.
That really obviously promptedour like coming out journey.
I wasn't ready for it, so thenI proceeded to date more women
after that, and then realizedthat wasn't gonna get, that was
getting us nowhere.
And then so eventually tylerand I like all right, we're in

(12:19):
it started dating, and it's been10 years now we're married.

Speaker 4 (12:24):
So okay you're just gonna skip over the part that
you dated women after you hookedup with him your husband for
the first time before and afteroh my gosh, yeah, yeah, how did
that make you feel your?

Speaker 3 (12:32):
conversation about gold star gays.
I'm so glad you asked from yourlast episode.
Yeah, it was funny because Ifeel like both of us like we had
honestly like significantheterosexual relationships yeah
before we ever got together,because we just like that's what
we penetrative sex with thesewomen yeah correct.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
Were any of them satisfied?
I?

Speaker 5 (12:54):
I would love to get them.
Let's get them on the horse.
You should interview them.

Speaker 3 (12:57):
The funny thing is most of them were still pretty
good friends with.

Speaker 5 (13:00):
Yeah, obviously because, like it came out, my
significant girlfriend like allthe way like in and out or off
and on through high school andinto colleges, was in our
wedding party wow oh yeah,that's cute, yeah, um I want to
go back.

Speaker 4 (13:13):
Yes, you, how does that make you feel that you
hooked up?
He went and dated women andthen you guys got back together?

Speaker 1 (13:18):
it was a wild time, so wait before you start yeah,
you came out and you're like nomore girls, like I'm definitely
fully gay.

Speaker 5 (13:26):
No, I did the buy now , gay later thing.
Okay, yeah.
So I came out, I came out tohim and then like told him, like
my like line that I used withhim my parents, like the first
people that I came out to wasI'm definitely attracted to both
guys and girls and I kind ofleft it at that.
I think internally, if I wouldhave like done some true like

(13:47):
dig, digging deep, I'd figureout that this is where I would
be today.
But um and then, so I came outto him.
He was like I'm so happy foryou, da, da, da.
Then I was kind of goingthrough like an individual, a
little bit of a like coming outrenaissance oh okay, not a
crisis renaissance okay, yeah, Ilike that exploring.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
It wasn't better, it was yeah, so and like, like
hooking up with people, you'rebeing a slap and I yeah

Speaker 5 (14:12):
okay, like I'm now known in the bozeman gay scene,
a little bit.

Speaker 3 (14:16):
I was gonna say that's your unfamous moment.

Speaker 5 (14:18):
I was one of the original bozeman gays yeah right
, the founding founding, yeahfounding bag so then he came out
to me, then we hooked up, buthe was very adamant.

Speaker 3 (14:27):
Who topped, who bottomed?
No, we were nowhere near.

Speaker 4 (14:31):
Was this sides.

Speaker 5 (14:33):
That was a side interaction.
Yes, for a long time, for along time with us, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
And still today.

Speaker 3 (14:40):
We had this really funny moment where I remember me
being like okay, now we canjust have sex, Like thinking it
was this easy thing.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
Oh my God, I remember that too.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
And.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
I had been topping.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
Well, you both have other people.

Speaker 5 (14:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:53):
Yeah exactly.

Speaker 5 (14:54):
And I was like this is not just going to work like
that, and he's like no, I wantto try, stop, stop stop, stop,
stop, stop Ah.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
Not fine, God.
My butthole is peckering rightnow.
It's clenching, oh my God.

Speaker 3 (15:08):
It's like wait, what's lube?
We have to use lube.
When homophobes say it'sunnatural, I'm like, yeah,
you're right.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 4 (15:13):
You're so right.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
You really have to do it a few times, tight, continue
.

Speaker 3 (15:24):
It's called a sphincterectomy um or
sphincterotomy, I can't rememberwhich so it is a thing where
you can literally be so tightyes, okay that's what I've been
telling all my friends, becausethey're like well, you're just
not trying hard enough, so now Iknow that I actually need
surgery.
Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1 (15:38):
I have a great doctor I went to a um going away party
for a friend that I used tohook up with.
I talked about him on thepodcast and he also needed
surgery and I told him about itand as he was leaving, he's like
girl.
My sex life has improved somuch since.
I've had this surgery.

Speaker 2 (15:59):
Yeah, so I ask.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
I rave about it.
Can I ask what do they do?
Okay, so my problem was that Iwas having um like chronic
fissures, so like they were yeah.
I would like re-injure themevery time I would have sex, or
like take a big dump.
Basically yeah and my doctor waslike, oh my god, like I've
never seen a chronic fissurelike this bad, like where it's

(16:21):
been clearly for like sevenyears, like re-injuring itself,
like over and over again, so itlike feels like glass going in
or coming out, or you knowwhatever um, but what they do is
they put you under and theylike take a scalpel and they cut
open part of your sphinctermuscle caleb's showing us a
diagram here.

(16:42):
Okay, great Is that, mybutthole you're looking at.

Speaker 3 (16:45):
No, it's actually live footage.
Actually live, doesn't?

Speaker 2 (16:49):
make sense.
Sorry, it's real footage.

Speaker 4 (16:51):
It's coming live from the studio and he has a
butthole.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
Yeah, okay, anyway so it weakens the muscle, so as it
heals it doesn't fully close up, it doesn't like yeah so
basically yeah okay wow, it isvery painful and the like.
Recovery process is long, but Icould not bottom like without a
ton of pain and I was like Idon't think this is how it's

(17:14):
supposed to go right it's notgetting better it's not getting
better.
Yep, and I was like I want toenjoy sex, like, yeah, both ends
of the spectrum.
And after I got that surgeryand had like a couple months of
recovery, I was like girl, thisis what I was missing out on.
Yeah, Like and it's amazing.
Yeah, yeah, wow.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
Okay, it's confirmed, it's a sphincter rectomy.
Yeah, sphincter rectomy, yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
Wow, Thank you, nurse Anyway so.

Speaker 5 (17:43):
We probably aren't going to get back there.
How?
Do you feel so, then it wentinto this, I would say year and
a half period.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
We're also closeted, so nobody knows that we've ever
hooked up.
We are best friends, we havethe same friend group, we're in
the same circle and Tyler's outhaving this journey.
I am very much like aheterosexual male to my friends.

Speaker 5 (18:01):
And I'm the only one who knows, and I literally at
this time think I'm probablygonna there's a good chance.
I'm the only one who's gonnaknow forever like oh my god he
was very pretty like steadfaston.
I don't think I can't likeconvince myself that I'm gonna
be happier if I start to comeout.
So like I'm comfortable tellingyou this and doing this, but I
don't know if I'll ever get tothe place where I actually want
to come out.

(18:21):
So this is probably like a yearand a half, yeah we're also
best friends.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
How does that make you feel, though?
Did you like know you were likeI in love with him and, like,
wanted to marry him at somepoint yes, I was pretty sure
positivity, I was pretty sure hewould life planned and it's
gonna be amazing and we're gonnaget married in exactly, yeah,
from night hookup one, I waslike whoa is this actually
happening is.
This is like everyone wants toend up with their best friend,
right does everyone rememberlike kissing their first boy and

(18:45):
being like I think I'm gonnamarry them?

Speaker 5 (18:46):
no, um, I did, I did mine so the first boy I kissed I
was very sure there would notbe any sort of romantic things
going on, okay, okay based onhis reputation in the bozeman
gay community oh, okay, anotherfounding father, yes, yeah, how
incestuous um, so, yeah, so, butI internally was pretty sure

(19:07):
like he's gonna come around andhe'll just take more time, more
exposure, like being actuallycomfortable and understanding
that he's happy and this is whathe wants.

Speaker 4 (19:14):
He doesn't know what this is what he wants, but I
know this is what he wants yeah,yeah, he can't resist this, um,
but yeah.

Speaker 5 (19:18):
So like a year and a half it was tough, like honestly
it was, I coped with it allright because I was in my mind
like they're still thinking solike a year and a half.
It was tough, like honestly itwas.
I coped with it All rightBecause I was in my mind like
there's still thinking there wasa chance and knowing there was
a chance, but he was just likecontinuing to go his regular
path dated another person, likedated another girl.
That part, I think, was reallytough, cause we would like we

(19:41):
all are this like big group offriends in college, like college
friends, and it was like Isaacand his cute little blonde
girlfriend and me, isaac's bestfriend, and everyone being like
doting over them because theywere like the hot blonde couple
I used to have hair.

Speaker 4 (19:56):
Yeah, the hot blonde couple, I'm picturing it.

Speaker 5 (19:58):
It was blonde and curly and in my mind I was like
none of these bitches have noidea what's actually going on,
do?

Speaker 1 (20:05):
you think that?

Speaker 5 (20:06):
everybody's like.
Look at these two smoke shows.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
Yeah, do you think that if they did know that, they
would have had a problem withit?
Cause I feel like there's likea double standard when it comes
to like guys that are by orgirls that are by.

Speaker 3 (20:18):
Absolutely.
That's a really good question.
I would not have had anothergirlfriend Right question I
would not have had anothergirlfriend right no, yeah, if
anyone had found out if tylerhadn't kept the secret.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
Absolutely yeah, yeah , especially in montana yes,
yeah, I would imagine.

Speaker 4 (20:30):
But if you wouldn't have kept the secret, you
probably would not be together.
If you would write him like, no, that would have broke up.

Speaker 5 (20:36):
Your I'm in, I'm in the mindset that I'm like I'm,
I'm if isaac truly does marry awoman, like I'm gonna be the
best man in this wedding.
I'm gonna be like, yeah, we arelike best friends, and so it
was just like a relationship.
That was like a movie foundedin friendship.

Speaker 3 (20:48):
So much that the other thing, too, is I knew I
could go my whole life, havingsharing that experience with
tyler and knowing that that waslike between us, because at the
end of the day, like we trulyare, just like friends best
friends, yeah and so I just liketrusted him with that and I
knew it was a safe space toexplore that part of myself, and
that's, that was our wholeconversation the night we hooked
up and like I came out to him.

Speaker 4 (21:10):
But yeah, yeah then, eventually he came around though
thank god, and I wrote him aletter.
Came around.

Speaker 5 (21:17):
I wrote him a letter that laid it all out and I was
like just basically said likeall top to bottom, this is what
I was thinking about it, this iswhat I have been thinking about
it.
I think it was like this iswhat we would want for our lives
.
If you were just likecomfortable enough to come out
and he read it this is so badand turns to me.

Speaker 3 (21:35):
Any karma that I get in life is from this year period
of my he read it all the waythrough.

Speaker 5 (21:39):
I've poured my heart out like all on the line and
he's like I'm reallyappreciative for you giving me
that right now and this is whyhe's dating the girl and he's
like but I'm just really happywith where I'm at in my life
this doesn't resonate with youready in front of him full stop.

Speaker 3 (21:52):
No, no, he's very okay.
So tyler's like a habitualletter writer, like if he needs
to like um if he needs to likeconvey anything.
It doesn't even have to beromance, like he's still
romantic.

Speaker 5 (22:03):
I think it's a really good way to convey information
and information.
I love it about you and you getto write it and you get to
think about it yeah to like nothave to like put up things on
the fly, because I'm really badat that and then yeah same the
other person can read it,process it, respond how they
want to take time not take timewhen he came out.

Speaker 3 (22:20):
He wrote letters to everyone in his family
individual.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
Yeah, I know I christmas card blasted it wow, I
love that.

Speaker 5 (22:27):
I literally took my mom's christmas card list
figured out who was important,because I just wanted to rip the
band-aid when I was moving frommontana to seattle wrote a
letter, had my family stuff thembefore I left like little
christmas elves, because theywere, I was out to them and then
I put them all in the mailboxand, like a dramatic bitch that
I am sometimes, then I droveaway to Seattle.

Speaker 3 (22:46):
It was crazy.
I always think there had to beso many people that opened that
and read it and they were likesecond cousins or whatever.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
And they're like cool .
The drummer from Iron Tigergets it.
I'm sure they're literally.
He's like who's Tyler?

Speaker 5 (23:00):
Who is this?

Speaker 1 (23:07):
Oh funny, who's tyler who?

Speaker 2 (23:07):
is this oh?

Speaker 1 (23:07):
funny, I also wrote a like three-page breakup letter
when I broke up with my ex and Imean I read it to him, but I
was like I have been working onthis letter for a while.

Speaker 5 (23:12):
Yeah, yeah, and you can change it as much as you
want you can like.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
I really felt that many iterations I was like will
I ever read it?
Will I ever give it to you?

Speaker 5 (23:19):
I don't know so I gave it to him.
He reacted like that.
It was a slap in the face.
He continued on, but I stillknew he couldn't resist it.
So then, like three monthslater, he wrote me a letter and
then it then became the likewhat is the timeline that we're
actually gonna?

Speaker 1 (23:33):
you're gonna come out , I guess, yeah because you were
like okay, like this ishappening, it's, we're gonna
make it work.
What?

Speaker 3 (23:39):
was like I can't turn this ship around, like I'm
planning wedding.

Speaker 5 (23:42):
I'm planning wedding at this point.
Yeah, I'm doing wedding.
Color, color, keep up.
Yeah, I'm doing wedding colors.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
Yeah, you're so full of shit I do.

Speaker 2 (23:52):
I think now you look back on it and you're like I had
that whole thing.

Speaker 5 (23:54):
No, no, the whole time and I'm like I don't think
it was once you and I wereactually getting together.

Speaker 3 (23:59):
Yeah, I was sure it was going to be the but I wrote
that letter and I was obviouslystill dating this person.
You wrote, you read the letter,you wrote no, I wrote him one
back like two months later.
That was like I cause.
We went through a period oflike 20 days of like not
speaking where we're like we gotto just have some like stuff
and not like in a hostile way.
Just like we have to put spacebetween us.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:19):
Because this is too hard.
I was like best friends andthen after that I'm like all I
can do is think about you.
I can't think about anythingelse.
I hate this.
I never wanted to be in love,and here we are.
What am I supposed to do now?
fuck you, no, but I basicallyjust said like my mouth is like
I basically just was like well,I guess I can't do anything
about this yeah, so then therewas like this period down yep

(24:41):
yeah, coming out with tylerbeing like, okay, I'm ready for
this, and then I also needed tobreak up with my girlfriend, and
then I was like time, so it'slike another three months before
this is you jumping to yourtoxic trade of like, always
forward projecting and notliving in the moment.
So then I was like this is somuch stress april, first april
fool's day of 2015 was like theday we're like, we're dating,

(25:02):
and then it was like anotheryear of coming out together did
you do it on April Fool's Day solike if you needed to change
your mind?

Speaker 1 (25:09):
you could be like April Fool's didn't even know
why.

Speaker 3 (25:11):
I think it was literally one of the things that
were my turn you turned over tome and you were like so what
are we doing?
I'm like well, we're dating,yeah, and there was that okay
interaction, just like that,yeah really, I just thought of
this.

Speaker 5 (25:23):
There was like a period of time that he still was
really not ready for otherpeople to know and like we
didn't know, so like the letters, we had this thing where I was
like if I die.

Speaker 3 (25:32):
The letter is in is in my calculus book, it's in my
consumer behavior book yeah,just so people wouldn't find it.
And I need you to burn thatfucking letter.

Speaker 5 (25:41):
It's like just so you know if I I've moved the letter
to my statics book and my nudiemagazines are under the couch.

Speaker 1 (25:51):
I am obsessed with this whole story.

Speaker 4 (25:52):
This whole story.
I did not know any of this.

Speaker 3 (25:54):
We have like a self-destruct button for each
other.
He doesn't listen to yourpodcast.

Speaker 4 (25:59):
I do, I've listened to three of them in full, and
then I start and stop.

Speaker 5 (26:02):
Okay, listen to Homies, to Husbands, and you'll
get this again.

Speaker 4 (26:06):
My question came up while you guys were describing.
You came out to him.
You saw him with other people.
Do you think thatunintentionally helps set a
healthy foundation for an openrelationship?
Because you saw him with otherpeople, but you know how you
felt.

Speaker 5 (26:20):
No.

Speaker 4 (26:20):
Wait, can you ask that question?

Speaker 1 (26:22):
Ask that question again.

Speaker 4 (26:24):
You came out to him, y'all had hooked up and then you
guys were not together, but youstill had feelings and you saw
him dating other people anddoing things, Do you think?
And but you still were madefriends.
That allowed you to kind oftake away the sensitivity, to be
able to have an openrelationship.

Speaker 5 (26:40):
I'm like having exposed, you're saying like
cause I have an openrelationship.
I'm like having exposure.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
You're saying like because I'm having exposure to
watching him be like withsomebody else.
No, Okay.

Speaker 5 (26:51):
No, because I think in that situation, like I, it
was not on my terms.
Okay, it was the exact oppositeof my terms and exact opposite
of what I wanted to seehappening.

Speaker 3 (27:00):
You also have a very green monster in there, oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
What is that?
Yeah, what does that mean?

Speaker 2 (27:05):
Green monster is like your jealousy.
Oh okay, that like like kind oflike takes over.

Speaker 4 (27:10):
And so I have a green .

Speaker 3 (27:12):
It's funny cause you're Mr Toxic Positivity.

Speaker 5 (27:20):
But on the other flip side of that, you have that.

Speaker 2 (27:23):
Yeah, but I don't think I'm jealous of you with
other people.
Uh, real time, real time.

Speaker 5 (27:26):
I think it's more what is that other person got?

Speaker 2 (27:29):
that's better than me like it's not like I want you
for myself it's more like whatdo I like?

Speaker 5 (27:34):
why can't that person hotter than me Is that person?

Speaker 4 (27:36):
Oh, my God, was that?
Did those feelings come upduring?

Speaker 2 (27:40):
that time.

Speaker 5 (27:41):
Yeah, she was hot.
Wow, just kidding, she was.
No, I was supposed to marry acute little blonde five, five
darling girl and then I ended upwith this six, four, and that
girl's name is Sabrina Carpenter, just kidding.
That was absolutely my type.
That's what she looked like,but that was his type, yeah
arguably better.

Speaker 1 (28:01):
Okay, so I've been in an open relationship.
Um caleb's been in a openrelationship, I would say I
would define it as that, becausethe person that you were dating
was married yeah so I've likefelt those like feelings of like
jealousy and like why is mypartner looking for something
outside of our relationship tofulfill something that, like I

(28:24):
cannot fulfill, and like whereis that coming from?
So, like how do you guys likemanage those emotions in your
like current relationship andlike does it come up often and
like do you like set groundrules around, like what's um
allowed and what's not, and likeall of that kind of stuff?
How does that kind of like workin your relationship?

Speaker 3 (28:45):
So it sounds like we should probably start at the
beginning.

Speaker 4 (28:48):
Describe our relationship yeah.

Speaker 5 (28:50):
Yeah, I think you should do it because you're more
succinct than me.

Speaker 3 (28:54):
I would say too, you brought up a lot of really good
things.
So, like mark, I would say too,you brought up a lot of really
good things Like mark everythingyou do.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
I have all of those.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
It's all here Because first off.

Speaker 3 (28:59):
My question is in what world is one person ever
going to fulfill everything thatyou need as an individual?

Speaker 1 (29:06):
I don't think that it's possible.
You don't have to answer it yet, right?
But like I'm like, that's mythought, that's my response.
I do have an answer, I do havean, we've learned about that,
just in general in life.

Speaker 3 (29:15):
Like you're never going to find one person in your
life that fills everything,Like my best friend Allie fills
a part of my heart that like.
Tyler's not meant to Correct, Imean correct.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
Yes, so we have this like perception.
I don't know if it's like acultural thing, but like you
used to just get married tosomeone and it was like to like
grow your wealth.
You know, like combined to likegrow your wealth.
You know, yeah, like combinefamilies, yeah, and like all of
a sudden it turned into thislike cinderella story thing
where, like this, there's onlyone person out there for you the

(29:46):
soulmate that one person isgoing to like fill like every
empty space in your soul rightand they have to be your best
friend and you have to like besexually compatible and there
has to be passion and romancewith this person yeah and like
so many different things and Idon't know, as I continue to
like have more romanticexperiences and like date people

(30:08):
, if there's really just likeone person or that like you
should be putting that muchpressure on one person or one
relationship to fill all ofthose needs, absolutely, you
know what I mean yes.
Like I love having a best friendand relying on them for things
and then having a partner torely on, you know, for other
things.

Speaker 3 (30:27):
Yeah, yeah.
I think that is a higher levelthat Tyler and I haven't even
got to in our relationship ofhow you're thinking about it.
To describe our relationship,like Tyler and I've been
together for 10 years, I don't.
We've never really said that we.
We would never use the termopen necessarily right.
One of the things I've learned,or we've learned in our
experience of just immersing ingay culture is like there isn't

(30:48):
open and closed.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
There's not those, it's not a binary well, everyone
likes to like put a label onthere is such a like gray that
I've learned.
I called it monogamish.

Speaker 3 (30:58):
Yeah, that's a good way.

Speaker 1 (30:59):
Yeah, I'm like, well, we like are together, we're
committed to each other.
But, you know, in the rightcircumstances, you know things
happen.
Yeah, Right, yeah.

Speaker 3 (31:08):
I think, at the end of the day, both Tyler and I are
very curious people and we liketo.

Speaker 5 (31:14):
We want to like experience life together.

Speaker 3 (31:15):
I want to try everything so succinctly, like
tyler and I.
I never use the term openbecause that seems too free, but
we will be adventurous withother people like it kind of
first started when we weretraveling, though.
For example, I lived in vegasfor two years.
Yeah, like the concept of beingopen would have blown, like
blew my mind and then I also.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
But were you sleeping with other people?

Speaker 5 (31:34):
oh, no, no so closed like I think our relationship
fairly recent, sleeping withother people.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
Oh no, no, so closed, like I think, our relationship
fairly recent ish, yeah, ourrelationship like in the last
year.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
Okay, I mean, I've lived in seattle for like 10
years and I've only seen youguys on grinder right yeah, in
the last year probably right.

Speaker 3 (31:49):
We're gonna talk about that too, because I also I
also think it's like that's away for us to stay connected to
the gay community uh-huh grinder.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
Okay, in what way?

Speaker 3 (31:57):
well, because a lot of times if you're, if you're
married gays, you're kind ofclosed off like we don't, we
know, like one other gay marriedcouple yeah we finally have
finally got to a point wherewe're hanging out with them yeah
so we've really like broughtthat relationship up.
Because we've always been inlike similar circles, we've
never just like committed toactually starting to hang out,
so that's even been pretty newin the last year.

(32:18):
So for us I think it's a way tojust like we still want to like
meet new people, yeah, and likestay connected yeah but also
have this sense of, like,independence and individuality.

Speaker 5 (32:30):
Okay, yeah, I would say we're both yes, we're both
mutually like continuing toexplore and grow in that portion
of our like journey in life.
I hate the word journey, butthat portion of our life and I
think we're both very selfreflective and understanding
that we got together at a youngsomewhat, and very inexperienced
way.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (32:50):
And it was very natural and it happened and we
were very sure, and are stillvery sure, that, like that was
what was supposed to happen.
But we also, I think, want todo our both ourselves, like the
due diligence and the likeexperience life-wise, to like
chat with people and like haverelationship or like hook up or
whatever with other people thatare just other than us too.

(33:12):
We have never like hooked up.
We've always hooked up withpeople together.

Speaker 4 (33:16):
Okay, that was going to be one of my questions, yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:23):
So I think it's one of those gradients, yeah, and I
wouldn't even call it a groundrule.
It's just like what we'recomfortable with now, right,
right, okay because the wholetime in vegas, I think there was
there was such a level of usbeing long distance and then
learning that there were so manyopen relationships and just
having such as our own stigmasaround them and being like
that's a last ditch effort yeah,and that was our mindset and
then I think that's like a lotof people's mindset when it

(33:43):
comes to because then you seethem open and then you see them
break up like yeah yeah the.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
The tale is as old as time yes, and there's that
perception.

Speaker 5 (33:52):
There's also the perception of growing up in like
open relationships, gay orstraight was unheard of to us.
Those are swingers.

Speaker 3 (34:01):
Swingers, oh my God, swingers.
We have a swinger bar in myhometown.

Speaker 4 (34:05):
Yeah, it's so funny Right.

Speaker 5 (34:06):
So the concept of even a successful or an open
relationship blew my mind when Imoved to Seattle and he was
still in Vegas.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
That's just cheating.

Speaker 5 (34:13):
I met someone at Queer Bar once and they were
like that's my husband and hisat queer bar once and they were
like that's my husband and hishusband was like hitting on and
dancing with someone else at thebar and it like blew my mind.

Speaker 3 (34:21):
I'll never forget that, but one other thing too,
that it's really rooted in is Ifeel like when we came out,
tyler and I had, like we comefrom, very traditional family
values, and so I think we had alittle bit of a point that we
felt like we had to prove where,like you, can be gay and also
have traditional family valuesoh yeah like the pressure you

(34:43):
have this framework of like I'mgonna get married, I'm gonna
have children like veryheteronormative yep, it's like
now we're gonna flip that on itshead like 180 exactly where
it's like we're gonna do that,but we're gonna be gay while we
do it yeah but we're still gonnagrow up with these very like
traditional values yeah and liketraditional sense of morals and
I think the more that we'velike grown up and experienced

(35:05):
and seen the world and tried newthings, that can kind of goes
away well, like things likewhen you have kids, things of
the concept of do you need to bemarried, not married, does that
make you more committed, lesscommitted?
Like all of that has reallygone out the window for us,
where, if you asked us fiveyears ago, I think we would be
like I think we carried ourrelationship on a little bit of

(35:25):
a high horse mentality.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
That we've was unfounded we've gotten rid of
well, because I feel likethere's a perception that like
those two things, those twoconcepts, are like mutually
exclusive, like you can't, youcan't have, like strong morals
and you know, come from a smalltown and like want a
heteronormative lifestyle andlike be gay and want to explore

(35:49):
like what, what it means fullyto like be in a gay relationship
yeah and like all of the beautythat there is in that, those
two things I think most peoplethink are mutually exclusive and
I don't think that theynecessarily are right like you
can have like a strong moralcompass and like have a
religious back, come from areligious background, and like

(36:11):
have like certain values around,like what it means to be like
in a supportive relationship.

Speaker 3 (36:16):
Yeah, but you can also be fucking other people,
right yeah, and I think there'sjust a constant level for us of
being like grabbing each other'shand and being like are you
okay?

Speaker 5 (36:26):
yeah, how are we doing like?

Speaker 3 (36:27):
metaphorically of being yeah, and we've done that
since we've been best friends soI think there's a level here
that we were lucky and thatthat's how our relationship was
founded yeah I don't think youcan apply this to somebody who
is like in a new relationship,just started dating.
They want to be open, whatever Ithink, that's presents its own
challenges, but at the end ofthe day like this is what I I'm

(36:51):
100 confident.
If tyler and i's relationshipdid not last forever and we got
divorced, I 100 know that wewould continue to be absolutely
best friends because becauselike.
That is, honestly, what's thenumber one most important thing
to me in my life and myrelationship with tyler is he
really is my like best friendfor life and yes, I want to stay

(37:12):
and continue to be married toyou for all of it.

Speaker 1 (37:14):
What would be a deal breaker?
What would cause a divorce?
Just one thing.

Speaker 5 (37:19):
Each give me one thing I love that question it
would take I would say it wouldtake something that was
extremely repetitive over a longperiod of time.

Speaker 1 (37:29):
I cannot fathom a single act that was like, yeah,
this is it yep you know what Imean like I'm trying to like
like cheating or like but likeI'm like some, something that
would be like a let's definelike cheating in an open
relationship for our listenerswell, that's the other thing
people like don't understandwhat like that looks like yeah

(37:50):
you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (37:51):
I feel like we've learned along the way what that
looks like too yeah, I thinkit's doing.

Speaker 5 (37:54):
It's like if it feels bad, then it's probably
cheating yeah, yeah that's agood rule of thumb in your gut,
if it feels bad, then it's someform of cheating or some level
right, yeah?

Speaker 3 (38:05):
if you feel like you're doing something wrong
because you don't have that opencommunication with your partner
and it needs to be preemptivemy like number one rule for what
has been best for Tyler and I'smarriage.
If I know I don't want to talkabout it and I'm really nervous
about talking about it withTyler.

(38:25):
I know that that is the numberone thing I need to do, Like I
know that is like my cue in myhead that I'm like.
I have to bring this up withTyler.

Speaker 1 (38:34):
You feel guilty about something.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (38:36):
Or if it's just like a hard conversation I don't want
to have.
That's my number one cue that Ineed to just do it.

Speaker 4 (38:41):
Oh my gosh that takes a lot.
That applies to a lot ofdifferent types of relationships
.
That's a good one.
Any relationship, yeah, likeany of any kind.

Speaker 3 (38:48):
I think it's like if.

Speaker 5 (38:54):
I know this is not want to be extremely clear.
We also have a lot of struggleslike it's not yeah, it's
definitely not easy.
There's definitely challenges.
I think like our situationdefinitely comes with challenges
between the two of us too,individually and together.
Yeah, it's a lot ofcommunication.
I struggle with a littlehealthy part of body image

(39:15):
issues with it all so that's key, that's a hard part of open
relationships yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:22):
Body issue too, yeah body image issues.

Speaker 5 (39:24):
I'll just give you like a really quick like okay
example, I like if we're talkingto someone, one of us is
talking to someone mutually andwe're gonna maybe hook up with
them if isaac's talking tosomeone, and then, like they
figure out, it's like athree-person situation they
don't want to to automaticallythink that it's because he
doesn't think that I'mattractive enough to hook up
with Okay.
Body image issues where it'sreally likely not like that ever

(39:47):
.

Speaker 3 (39:47):
Right, but I constantly have to remind Tyler
like, tyler, you're six.

Speaker 1 (39:50):
Four, yeah, like that's pretty much all you have
to jump on your profile.
That's not true.

Speaker 3 (39:56):
Six, that's not true.
Six, four and a mustache.
I mean what else?

Speaker 5 (39:58):
but yes, so it does present its own challenges
because then we areautomatically in our state right
now, introducing another personinto like our dynamic yeah and
I just get.
Sometimes I get reallyself-conscious and I'm worried
that there's comparison going onit kind of takes out.
That is a challenge that comesalong with us not independently

(40:19):
hooking up.

Speaker 3 (40:20):
Yep, okay, so to give , like the brief, the brief,
like overview of how, like thehistory of our relationship, I
would say for the most partwe've been extremely monogamous.
But then there's also thispiece where, like I said, we
came out way later in life andwe don't want to suppress each
other's ability to, just likeeat the fruit you know what I
mean.
Like girl, just go enjoy, enjoyhoney we've already been so

(40:43):
suppressed, as gay people, ofwhat we think we need to be yeah
, and once you come out you getto like fucking scrap everything
, start over look at

Speaker 1 (40:51):
life differently and there are no rules and I love it
.

Speaker 3 (40:55):
It's like you can just like.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
It's like don't live your life like however you want
to, because the rules that arein place they don't.
They don't serve us as gaypeople you know, and so we get
to like create a new set ofrules, or whatever you want to
call them, or throw the likerule book out the window, and
you get to like decide okay,style that will benefit me, or

(41:20):
like that does work within, likemy framework.

Speaker 3 (41:21):
Yeah, and don't not experience something in life
because there's a fake rule outthere that says that you
shouldn't for no reason likequestion that rule, why does it
exist?
Yeah, and kind of say fuck it.
Yeah.
One of the things that Tylerand I will never do again now
that we're fully out is likelive by somebody else's rules
that are arbitrary that weren'tset up by gay people.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
I want to hear about your take on all of this,
because you have said on thepodcast before that like being
in an open relationship is justlike not really on the table for
you I never say never, uh,honestly are we selling?

Speaker 3 (41:51):
it yes, but ours is very like sex Like there is no
emotional currently I've one ofthe things I've really learned
is to not say never.

Speaker 5 (42:02):
Right.

Speaker 3 (42:02):
Because, like 25 year old me, talking like this right
now would be, like what thefuck happened.
And so we're very much like forus, like we are in a monogamous
relationship, we have nointerest in like dating.
It's really just for us.
It's kind of about sex, becauseit's like how do you even know
what you like when you've hadsex with one person?
Yeah, and it is like one of thefunnest adventures we've been

(42:24):
on about yourself.
Well, it's like a fun it's likea literally a hobby that we do
together and then it's like thisfunny thing of like that was
weird, that was so much fun thatlike we just have these stories
that was loud the debriefingafterwards would be so fun.

Speaker 4 (42:37):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:38):
I would love to I know yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:40):
Okay, yeah, and Tyler's like chatty, chatty,
chatty and I'm like, as soon asI'm done, I am like gotta go.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
Yeah, thanks for coming.

Speaker 4 (42:50):
Be careful on your drive home.
We were never officially dating.
We just enjoyed each other andwe're having sex.
And then but I could everyoneelse presented that we were
dating Okay.
But there was no, like I don'tknow like official terms put on
it or like, oh, we're together,or anything like that, until

(43:10):
they started splitting and thenI, we became more emotionally
connected and no, I only hookedup with one of them, okay, and I
think that y'all gave me apoint of view and I'll talk back
to the relationship, uh, that Ihaven't witnessed or heard or
seen before in someone who'sopen-ish it would be yeah,
monogamous yeah, because I'veonly ever really experienced

(43:34):
couples that do it separatelyand that and we talked about it
uh, I think it was the sexpodcast when I'm very, like,
demisexual.
So if I feel connected withsomeone, so my sex drive
increases and my attraction foryou increases if I'm feeling
more emotionally connected yeahyeah yeah.

(43:54):
So I even like with partnerslike my.
If we're I'm not feelingconnected with them, my sex
drive will significantlydecrease and then, like we get
back on the same wavelengthagain, then we can go do it
every day.
Um, so the idea of somethingthat if I feel emotionally
connected with someone, I wantto have sex with them yep, it's

(44:16):
so tied to emotion that seeingor thinking of them with another
person, it, if emotionally,affects me more.
I think, instead of it's hardfor to emotion, that seeing or
thinking of them with anotherperson, it emotionally affects
me more.
I think, instead of it's hardfor me to separate the physical
and the emotional.

Speaker 3 (44:26):
Yeah, but I also think one of the things that's
unique about us, or just gayrelationships in general,
compared to, like, heterorelationships.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
hetero relationships do not talk about the
attractiveness of other peopleRight, they just shut it off.

Speaker 3 (44:38):
Right, they're like don't talk about that.
That makes me uncomfortable orjealous sometimes.
I think we're moving away fromcouples traditionally, though,
it's like if a guy says he alsothinks this girl is hot, that is
an immediate threat.
So I think we kind of get ridof that in gay relationships to
a degree.
Yeah, but like tyler and I werebest friends and all of a
sudden we were both gay, so it'slike two school girls being

(44:58):
like oh my god, do you thinkhe's hot?
I was like well, no that's notmy type, because xyz, I'm like
oh my god, that's fascinating,why?

Speaker 2 (45:03):
yeah, that's so.
Let's digest that we like itwas like such a.

Speaker 3 (45:07):
We've done it forever so I think you just take little
like micro steps and then checkin with each other over a long
period of time.

Speaker 5 (45:14):
Yeah, that's why ours has been successful.
Yeah when we traveled, we liketo play this game who's the
Cutest Boy at the Bar.
We each pick out one.
I love that game.

Speaker 3 (45:21):
It's really fun.
You have history of consistentcommunication.

Speaker 2 (45:31):
Oh, that's on my list of questions too.

Speaker 4 (45:35):
It sounds like history of consistent
communication has allowed you toeven initiate this journey.

Speaker 3 (45:41):
Also, that's failed occasionally too, and so I want
to be really clear that, like,we have misstepped.
But the important thing is,like every time you do, you can
always just take a step back,and be like oh, I fucked up and
that like whatever it is, or didsomething that's yeah, who
fucks up more a?

Speaker 5 (45:59):
step further like taking a step further by
yourself, rather than both of ustaking a step at the same time
and then us being like whoa.
I felt like you took that stepyourself without me, yeah, and
then, oh sorry, you're right.

Speaker 3 (46:10):
Yeah, yeah, and maybe it was like hormones, man yeah,
just kidding and alcohol yeah,never a physical step yep, and
maybe it was like all of asudden we used to have what we
call it marriage conference.

Speaker 5 (46:23):
Marriage conference, yeah when it kind of first
started.

Speaker 3 (46:25):
You'd be like a cuff dancing like this and then one
of the things like a misstepwould be like me making out with
someone without being liketyler, are we like good tonight,
like what's our plan fortonight?

Speaker 1 (46:36):
yeah, and so that would be like a way of like not
preemptively communicatingsomething so then, we always do
like a marriage conference,where it's like, let's, can I
see in the bathroom like youknow what I mean, and we'll just
like caleb, it's like, it'slike our debriefs, yeah, yes,
and we're just like how are youfeeling tonight?

Speaker 3 (46:52):
and it's like feeling great, let's all go have fun.
Or it's like you know what I'mkind of like ready to go home.
Then we go home, like you justhave that like moment, but those
are.
Those exist because we'vefucked up before.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
Like it hasn't been perfect.
Does it ever happen when you'relike, um, I want to go home and
you're like, no, I really wantto stay out and I'm enjoying
time with this other person onthe dance floor?

Speaker 2 (47:13):
No no.

Speaker 3 (47:14):
We're very much a unit in that way.
I think, yeah, there's probablybeen times where we're like one
of us is like, oh, I am havinga good time, but at the end of
the day it's like I always wantto go home with you.

Speaker 5 (47:24):
So yeah, right.

Speaker 2 (47:24):
If it's time, that's so cute.

Speaker 3 (47:26):
And a lot of times I feel like I trust your judgment
where I'm like I need to go home.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
If I'm saying it's 9 pm.
One of my favorite parts aboutan open relationship is that it
gives you like this I mean, ifyou have a solid foundation to
your relationship and therearen't a bunch of like cracks in
that, in that foundation youhave, like this safe, sturdy
place to go back to you.
You know, like you guys aretalking about like I always want
to go home with you at the endof the night to explore from,

(48:07):
and like you're tethered to thatlike safe foundation and each
other, and it gives you moresecurity in exploring.
You know the world around you,and that's what a healthy
relationship should look like,whether it's open or not.
But you know, if you'reexploring in a sexual way,
that's what a healthyrelationship should look like
right, whether it's open or not.
But you know, if you'reexploring in a sexual way,
that's great.
Or if you're exploring in yourcareer or other friendships or

(48:30):
whatever, you always have tohave that like safe place to
come back to and you want to beexcited, to like have sturdy
ground underneath you whenyou've been like walking down
like a dirt road, you know itjust always goes back to like uh
two girls gabbing about theirexperiences in bed like that's
how I feel the next morning.

Speaker 3 (48:48):
It's like, yeah, that was weird.

Speaker 4 (48:49):
Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah who initiated the
potential of like doing otherstuff with other people but in
your relationship so kind of ourjourney started with travel
like it was like free, likewhenever you're we.

Speaker 3 (49:04):
It's very new that we would ever do any of this in
seattle, honestly, within likethe last year, and we wouldn't.
We weren't like on grinder, onanything like that, but then we
would travel somewhere and itwas probably like I mean less
than like five times over 10years right, I would say right
and I think we just kind oftalked about it both being like
well, I'm obviously not likewasn't super sexually

(49:26):
experienced.
Tyler was like a little bit,but not much.
So it's like well, let's dothis fun thing together.

Speaker 5 (49:31):
So it's kind of like so it started with, like I think
it was still a mutualconversation.
I don't know who like initiatedit.

Speaker 3 (49:38):
I'm sure we just talk about everything.
So at some point we were like,would you ever want to have a
threesome?
Probably really early on, andyou'd be like, well, yeah, why
wouldn't I?

Speaker 5 (49:45):
right, it was a long time ago.
I just based on how we are, Ibet I probably brought it up
because I will just like say itdirectly.
Usually yeah so then yeah, sothen the progression was like we
would like download apps whenwe were on a trip together
outside of the zip code ruleyeah, my friends back

Speaker 4 (50:02):
home call zip code open is what they call.
They would call themselves yeah, okay, yeah that's another one
of like.

Speaker 3 (50:07):
Our foundational things is like we talk about
hypothetically everything what,what would?
Happen if you?
What if you were superattracted to someone you worked
with?
How would we handle that?
What would you do if we gotdivorced?
Like, how would you handle that?

Speaker 4 (50:22):
like, we talk about everything good, bad I like that
, yeah, because you couldprocess it before that.
You just get presented with theproblem, right, and you're like
reacting to everything is apossibility, right like
obviously we got married andwe're.

Speaker 5 (50:33):
There's no plan of not working out, but it's still
a possibility.

Speaker 3 (50:37):
Yeah, like it always is what would you do if I won
the lottery tomorrow?

Speaker 1 (50:41):
love.

Speaker 5 (50:42):
That is this like bedtime chat sometimes, yeah,
but a lot of times driving homefrom places a lot of drives to
montana over eight hours yeah,there's a lot of hypothetical of
like I love that situationswhere I'm like.

Speaker 3 (50:52):
What would you do in the situation?
Yeah what if you found out Iwas the heiress to the bacardi
fortune and I've been hiding itfrom?

Speaker 5 (50:57):
you.
So yeah, I think it wasmutually, mutually like
initiated, and then it went thatway.
Then eventually we were likeare we good to do this, like
we're?
There was like one profile andwe were on one profile in
Seattle, and then we each hadone now.

Speaker 1 (51:14):
Okay, yeah, I know a lot of couples that do like like
a couple's account.

Speaker 3 (51:19):
This is hard because you never know which one you
were talking to.
We're obviously two independentpeople.
We're very different in how wetalk with people and communicate
with people.
What's?

Speaker 4 (51:30):
your opener, your first message.

Speaker 3 (51:34):
Mine's not exciting.
I'm on the edge.

Speaker 4 (51:38):
A video, an audio clip of you singing that.

Speaker 5 (51:40):
Just that.
Kinks edging okay, we're verydifferent in how we interact, so
like having separate accountsis good and it was a really good
step for us because isaac's alot more into chat.

Speaker 3 (51:51):
I'm a lot more you're just resorts results, oriented
about everything.

Speaker 4 (51:55):
Yeah I appreciate that what outcome.

Speaker 3 (51:57):
I don't like the games tyler's like what time
would you like to have sex withus?
I?
I don't want to go back andforth.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
I'm very surprised because I thought it was going
to be the opposite.

Speaker 5 (52:05):
Fair.

Speaker 3 (52:06):
I like the flirting, I like the build up, I like the
slow burn.
That kind of like you saidmakes me more attracted to them
because it lets my mindfantasize.
And sometimes for Tyler he'slike the goal is sex.
So why don't we just get tothat?

Speaker 4 (52:19):
and I'm like sometimes it's about the journey
like sometimes, like thatpart's not just the transaction.
You want, the cashierexperience you want to.

Speaker 1 (52:26):
Yeah and I want to like know about them a little
bit more, and it allows me tolike fantasize about what it's
going to be like in the bedroom,and then I can make it happen
which is also so funny becausethat's a good point.

Speaker 5 (52:37):
Yeah, also really funny because when the hookup
actually happens, I'm the chat Iknow that's transactional.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
That's why I thought and he's getting it out of the
way.

Speaker 3 (52:47):
He's getting it out of the way oh my god, the pre
hookup, the 20 minutes wherethey show up and you're chatting
around minutes chatting aroundthe island.
It depends on how long is it Ihate it.

Speaker 4 (52:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah I you're like, let me show you my
new art piece.
Yeah, what do?

Speaker 3 (53:00):
you think of these new clothes.

Speaker 1 (53:01):
I just immediately start kissing them and taking
off their clothes see, and Ithink that makes sense unless I
like know them and I want tocatch up with them and in a
one-on-one scenario thatabsolutely makes sense.

Speaker 3 (53:10):
It's normal.
Yeah, you have this like funnymind reading game you're trying
to do with each other rightwhile this third person's in the
room and like I'm like we don'tneed to know their fucking
favorite teacher from thirdgrade, I think.

Speaker 5 (53:24):
Sometimes, though, you also just are afraid to just
jump the gun and go.
So you leave it on me, and thenI will assess it out and figure
it out you also?
Don't like making the move.
I hate small talk, but youdon't like making the move
either.

Speaker 3 (53:36):
but I think it's one of those things where you
operate differently if it'sone-on-one versus if it's like
both of us, I guess maybe.

Speaker 4 (53:43):
I've hooked up with a married couple before and it is
odd.
Is it intimidating it is, ifthere's been good and bad
experiences.
It's almost like they aretrying to read each other's mind
, but they're not speaking andthey're both just like talking
at me and I'm like this isoverstimulating.
And we all have our clothes onalready, so I think a mixture of

(54:03):
both would be nice.

Speaker 3 (54:05):
One of my fantasies is for Tyler to let me go hook
up with a married couple so Ican get the experience from the
other side.

Speaker 1 (54:11):
As well, as I just want to give back to the
community that's given us somuch, and that's how.

Speaker 3 (54:15):
I want to do my charity work.

Speaker 1 (54:16):
Such a giver Gross, oh my God.

Speaker 3 (54:22):
Well, such a giver, oh my god well, you need data,
data.

Speaker 5 (54:24):
We're collecting data .
At the end of the day, we'rescientists.

Speaker 1 (54:26):
Was there a question with that?
I don't think so.
Okay, oh yeah.
Who initiated?

Speaker 3 (54:28):
oh yeah I think it was both of us our first time we
ever did.
It was really funny we were.
We were all in vegas.
We went on like a tyler.
I was graduating from college,so we were with like three of
our best friends they're allwomen and it was Tyler and I and
everyone was kind of havingthis conversation throughout
about threesomes and hooking up,and this was very much.

(54:48):
When Tinder became a thing.
So we were traveling fromMontana so we went to Vegas
where, like a Tinder communityexisted.
So we immediately are all onTinder being like what is this
about?

Speaker 2 (54:57):
What's going on?

Speaker 3 (54:58):
here and there's this funny moment where, like then,
we agreed like let's try it,let's not like focus the trip on
it, but if it happens, ithappens.
So I remember like we made aprofile together, we did the
swap pics, whatever we end uplike everyone's doing that
independently.
We're all at the monte carlohotel, which is now park mgm,
and at like two in the morningwe all are having these

(55:19):
interactions, but we are sharinga two queen hotel room oh my
god, five of us, oh my god.
So at one point in time wefinally go meet our guy at the
like lobby bar.
We're sitting there havingsmall chat, I actually.
Before he got there I realizedI'm like well, we're just gonna
have to get a room but, this isthe timer.

Speaker 1 (55:39):
It was like.
Why doesn't he have one?

Speaker 3 (55:41):
This is because he's from Vegas.

Speaker 5 (55:43):
He's getting off his bartender shift Okay From Vegas.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
But also this was a point in time where it was like
$25 a night with a resort feeand so I was just like, okay,
I'll go get a room.
So I remember, like, walkingthrough the casino, I see him
walking and I'm like that's theguy.
That's the guy he goes and hemeets Tyler at the log bar.
I get us a room.
It's this funny moment whereall of our friends are walking
through the casino with theirhookups.

Speaker 1 (56:07):
I'm picturing like.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
Ocean's Eleven At one point.

Speaker 3 (56:08):
I look across and my best friend and we both look at
each other and she just gives methis big wave with her other
hand attached to a man and thenI just give a big wave back.
And it's like we all have thisfunny agreement going on of like
.

Speaker 1 (56:27):
Just we were like kids from montana divide and
conquer.
The three of us got hit on bysex worker las vegas.
I'm sure never recovered.

Speaker 5 (56:29):
No, no, it's never been the same marty carlo, like
closed that week, yeah, but Iremember us sitting at this
lobby bar, sitting at this lobbybar with this man.

Speaker 3 (56:38):
We're about to go, but the first time is our first
experience.
Sex worker comes up to try tohit on all three of us, looking
like we're three eligiblebachelors and just being like so
sorry, miss, but this is notyour tree.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
Oh no, it was a woman .

Speaker 4 (56:49):
Oh yeah, Imagine you should have just thrown her in
there, absolutely, I mean before.

Speaker 5 (56:57):
She's like I want to have drinks in the room she's
like some rooms have been in desand I was like not once, we
afford, not the $25 one yeah so,anyways, that was our first
experience and then it was justkind of sparse.

Speaker 3 (57:07):
it would be like whenever we'd travel, so like
one to, maybe twice a year, yeah, and then I would say, within
the last year we were kind oflike comfortable at a point
where I'm like, why are welimiting ourselves to even that?

Speaker 1 (57:19):
So on your guys' podcast you talk about how like
incestuous the circle of gaysare in Montana because it's a
small group.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
You talked about this on your last episode.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
Yes, how everyone has kind of dated everyone or slept
with everyone, and that youmoved to Seattle with the
intention of creating acommunity of gay friends.
Right, so do you feel like, insome ways, that you're
recreating that like incestuousgroup of gays that you like grew
up with in montana, here inseattle?

(57:52):
Like, do you find like somesort of like comfort almost in
having like a group of gayfriends that you do hook up with
or don't hook up with, or oneof the things that we, one of
the things that we learned evenlast year or last week doing
that episode with my cousin whois 10 years younger than us.

Speaker 3 (58:10):
Everything there is very relationship based and
they're like looking for apartner so any sort of grinder
activity, them going out likethey're going on dates, because
that's like the mindset thatthey're in and there's so few
people, so it is very like sexhookup relationship based yeah
so that was very new, that Ifeel like I learned.
So I think that makes it reallyincestuous because it's based

(58:30):
on that right, whereas here I'vealways felt there is just like
tyler and I just wanted a gayfriends like we'd never had that
.
Yeah, like I didn't have acircle of friends that we could
talk about all gay things andgay life and even, like our
first three years in seattle,was all straight friends,
because that's what we were likeused to and it happened to be
the people we connected with andhow we met.
But us having like this big,continuously growing circle of

(58:54):
gay friends and community ispretty new within the last like
two years yeah and I think so.

Speaker 5 (58:59):
Yeah, I moved a little like back context.
I moved to seattle two yearsbefore isaac did so.
I came here, wanted gay friendsbecause I quite literally like
I would see in social media likeon instagram everyone at the
top of a mountain.

Speaker 1 (59:12):
I kept calling them the gaggles of gays yeah, like I
want my own gaggle of gayswhere like it's my 10 people
that I we go.

Speaker 5 (59:18):
I'll do everything together we go to cap hill block
party, we go to pride we hike,whatever, yeah, um, and then I
moved to seattle and I, likeisaac said, our first three
years we like were in a group ofmostly hetero friends, yeah,
which we are still our friends,but um, and I still was like
really trying to find that likecommunity, friend group and

(59:39):
community um, I in fact like oneof the steps in our
relationship, remember I askedyou?
I was like I think I'm gonna goon bumble bff yeah, yeah and see
if I could meet like gayfriends through that yeah, I
should have put together that Icould just join a gay sports
league and do it that way.
That's fucking huge right,right, yeah um, so then, yeah,
so to like kind of answer yourquestion, I think it's a little

(01:00:01):
bit different in that, like Iwanted, platonic gay friends
which is what we kind ofnaturally created.
And it was really in part byour kickball team.

Speaker 2 (01:00:14):
The incest part came later.

Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
Yeah, oh, if you can't make out with your friends
, how do you know your friends?

Speaker 1 (01:00:22):
Fair, I don't know.
I feel like that's a veryprogressive gay idea.

Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
Yeah, I just learned what a polycule was and I had to
explain it and I was like Icall him a polymolly.
I was like Tyler, are we in apolycule?
Is that what's going?
Are you?
I can't define it.

Speaker 4 (01:00:45):
No comment on that.
No, I don't think so.

Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
No comments no questions at this time, I think
it goes back to I think I'm aDemi.

Speaker 4 (01:00:49):
Gorgon, is that what you said?

Speaker 5 (01:00:49):
we were Demi-sexual, uh-huh.

Speaker 3 (01:00:50):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (01:00:51):
Demi Lovato Demi.

Speaker 3 (01:00:51):
Lovato.
I feel like that a lot.
One of the things that I'velearned through this is when
it's casual and it's fun and atthe end of it you can just like
fucking laugh with your friends.
So I think there's a like deepconnection there yeah, and I
think there's a level of trustof knowing like this is fun and
like can be intimate, but likethat's kind of what it is and
it's with people that you trustand you can be yourself and like

(01:01:13):
, yeah, sex is just funnysometimes like absolutely, you
don't have to be this likeawkward dance that you have to
be perfect and like funny thingsjust happen and you laugh about
it.
Yeah, and then it's just betterlike I've, always been a firm
believer that it's better withour friend group.

Speaker 5 (01:01:26):
I think they have taught me and I have learned
about myself, like the line, butI feel like the line between
like being romantically feelingfor someone and deep friendship
feeling for someone is very thinat this point, whereas I was
very compartmentalized, yeah, upuntil probably being 30 of.
Like.
This is my romantic partner andall my romantic energy and

(01:01:49):
feelings are going toward thisperson.
Yeah, and then these are all myfriends and it's very like
clearly defined.
I think internally I can feelmyself being like wow, but like
oh, that's, I have a littlecrush on that person and like
that being okay yeah, I'm beinglike whoa, I'm excited to see so
and so like we connect and wetalk about certain things and

(01:02:11):
like I have like a almost like acrush feeling and maybe we
called it a friend crush at onepoint in time but the like razor
thin line between what would bea crush and what is like a deep
friendship.

Speaker 3 (01:02:22):
Yeah, is, and I'm okay because I trust and love
those people so much.

Speaker 2 (01:02:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:02:27):
If I were to die tomorrow?
Whoa I like foresee and wouldbe like I hope Tyler ends up
with one of those people.
And like, like continues.

Speaker 2 (01:02:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:02:38):
I love and trust our friends so much.

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
Yeah, and I love them .
Yeah, and I think those likelabels, like continues, yeah, no
, I love and trust our friendsso much.

Speaker 3 (01:02:41):
Yeah, and I love them .
Yeah, and I think those likelabels don't necessarily matter
at the end of the day like thecore is here.
It's tyler and I yeah, and it'sso founded, it's been rooted in
that and so long we know thatthe worst, the worst to happen,
yeah for anyone.
We still have each other.
It's like you have a friendcrush, feelings where you're
like I a I want to be your bestfriend and then, but also do I
want to be your best friend.

Speaker 4 (01:02:59):
And then, but also do I want to kiss you.
Yeah, wait, should we?

Speaker 2 (01:03:03):
This is going through your brain, the entire time.

Speaker 4 (01:03:05):
Yeah, yeah Uh okay, so we do wrap it up with victory
.
We got victory in mind.

Speaker 3 (01:03:11):
Yeah, okay, I'm going to start with my advice, then
Okay To and, on a positive note,see growth.
So my advice is I'm a hugeorville peck fan.
I love him.
I think for somebody who's arural gay he just like connects
with that so deeply becausethere's not a lot of country
representation for gay artists.

(01:03:31):
But anyways, um, he's in.
He's at chateau saint michelleon wednesday been planning for
this.
I bought all the tickets foreverybody.
There's's like eight of usgoing Outfits.
I went for Oval Peck forHalloween two years ago.
I'm imagining a lot of fringe, alot of fringe.
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:03:49):
A lot of leather.

Speaker 3 (01:03:49):
Anyways.

Speaker 5 (01:03:50):
I learned like a month ago.

Speaker 3 (01:03:52):
Yep.
A month ago I have to go towork for Denver on Tuesday.

Speaker 1 (01:03:57):
No, so you can't go, so I'm not going.
Oh my god, that is a vice.

Speaker 3 (01:04:01):
It is a big vice.
It's definitely on my top tosee.

Speaker 1 (01:04:04):
Does that mean you have an extra ticket?

Speaker 3 (01:04:05):
We were supposed to see him at Pride.
Yeah, somebody already took it.
Yeah, supposed to be at Pridelast year and then he stepped
out for his own reasons and thenwas replaced by the Mariah
Carey of Pride, betty.
Who Love Betty.

Speaker 5 (01:04:18):
Beatrice Hoomst.
Anyways so this is the secondtime I was supposed to see him
and I'm not seeing him.

Speaker 3 (01:04:22):
Wow, but that's okay, because I'm sending all my
friends.
I know they're going to have agreat time.
I want them to send me all thevideos, of course, everything.

Speaker 4 (01:04:30):
I think I'm going to see him at ACL Fest.

Speaker 3 (01:04:32):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:04:35):
He's playing, he's going, so I might not see it as
a victory, but last night,yesterday, my number one girly
it's also music related mynumber one girly, forever and
ever, katherine Hudson, aka KatyPerry, released her sixth
studio album.
I'm not taking questions aboutwhether yeah, I'm not taking

(01:04:58):
questions at this time about mythoughts on it, whether people
can shit on it or not, but forme it's a big deal and for the
rest of Katie cat it's a reallybig deal.
So I've been, I've been.

Speaker 1 (01:05:06):
The fans are called Katie cats.
Yes, I've never heard of that.

Speaker 5 (01:05:08):
Okay so I've listened to it five times now through in
like less than 48 hours.
Um.
So it's just.

Speaker 3 (01:05:16):
I'm currently working on his PR responses.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
I'm working on my PR responses for when I get asked
about it and the haters, comefor me.

Speaker 3 (01:05:22):
Yep, he's getting ready with his facts.
Stats data, but a really big.

Speaker 5 (01:05:25):
It's a long awaited.
It's been a long time since shereleased an album.

Speaker 4 (01:05:28):
So it's a big deal.
Give me your top song.

Speaker 5 (01:05:30):
It's a big deal for me.
I really like Crush.

Speaker 1 (01:05:34):
I love.

Speaker 5 (01:05:35):
Crush.

Speaker 1 (01:05:46):
And I really like, like wonder, minus the part
where her daughter's singing atthe beginning of it, and I hate
that she should have just leftit at the end, but it's at the
beginning too.
Oh so it really starts like,starts off on a bad note
literally okay, isaac, what'syour victory?

Speaker 3 (01:05:51):
okay, my victory is we're really on the music trend,
which is not usually my lane,but so last night we also went
to one of my top artists thatI've wanted to see, and casey
musgraves was in seattle lastnight oh my god, and when I my
original.

Speaker 1 (01:06:05):
I love her my original fucking sexual

Speaker 3 (01:06:08):
my original she's just she's one of my like
original.
I just have known her from thebeginning and I remember on my
eye home that my ipod pluggedinto.
Oh, yeah, same trailerdifferent park was her first
album and that was my alarmclock every morning and it was
right at the same time thatTyler and I were roommates,
hooking up like it very muchlike all goes back to this time,

(01:06:29):
and then there was like Followyour Arrow.
I think was such a so good oh mygod, like queer song, more so
even than that, and I didn'tknow that she talked about it at
the concert last night.

Speaker 1 (01:06:39):
Like how she's become a queer icon.
I'm like I don't understand,but I'm so for it.
Did you know that song gotbanned on country?

Speaker 3 (01:06:45):
radio stations, they wouldn't play it.

Speaker 1 (01:06:47):
It's like a pretty tame song.

Speaker 2 (01:06:48):
I could see that.

Speaker 3 (01:06:49):
Anyways, and then Rainbow was the song that our
best friend Jordan sang as wewalked down for our wedding,
like there's so much with Caseyand I just love her so much.
It was an amazing show.
She also did Pink Pony Club.
She did a little rendition ofthat.
She just really is truly aqueer ally.

Speaker 4 (01:07:06):
It was phenomenal.
It's great to see her.
My favorite song about her isMary Go Round from her first
song, love it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:13):
If you're a country kid, that song relates so hard.

Speaker 4 (01:07:17):
Let's end with your advice.

Speaker 5 (01:07:18):
Yeah, the only thing I can think of right now,
because my life is just sopositive.
One thing I need to do, andI've been thinking about this
like weekly and I haven't beento the eye doctor.

Speaker 4 (01:07:31):
Oh God.

Speaker 1 (01:07:34):
In four years.
I will remind you every weekbecause that's what I have to do
for him.

Speaker 5 (01:07:37):
But I'm kind of nervous because I'm really
terrified I'm to do for him, butI'm kind of nervous because I'm
really terrified I'm to thepoint, or going to get to the
point, where I have to havecontacts.
I can't do contacts.
I can't do eye things.
I can't watch someone else putcontacts in my eyes water and
it's horrible.
So I've been avoiding it.
But I really like I'm reallyI've been good about the dentist
recently.
I just went to the eye doctorfor the first time in a very

(01:07:59):
long time and I've been avoidingit and it just keeps popping up
in my mind being like youshould do that, you should do
that.
It's like an ankle biter.

Speaker 4 (01:08:05):
Yeah, yeah, but they make so many new different types
of contacts Like some of themare more breathable, you barely
feel them.

Speaker 1 (01:08:13):
Like mine, stay in for 30 days.
Just get LASIK.
We wish you well.

Speaker 3 (01:08:17):
Thank you so much for having us.
It's been like really, reallyfun.
This is the first podcast we'veever been on.

Speaker 1 (01:08:22):
Whoa yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:08:23):
So it's been really interesting to see it from the
other side.
I'm like this is whateveryone's going through when we
interview them.

Speaker 2 (01:08:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:08:30):
But yeah, definitely check out.

Speaker 1 (01:08:35):
There are no gays in.

Speaker 3 (01:08:35):
Montana.
It's a fabulous show onInstagram and Tik.

Speaker 5 (01:08:44):
TOK at no Gays in Montana and we kind of just talk
honestly.

Speaker 3 (01:08:46):
Growing up gay rural America Experiences we had,
thoughts we had on things,things that have changed in our
thought process, how we gottogether everything that we're
exploring, that we're learningin, just like queer culture, so
it's been really fun.
It's been really great.

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
Yeah, I love that you guys have like a very distinct
voice and the topics that youlike.
Some some of the topics thatyou talk about, we do too, but
we have like very different likeperspectives on them, yeah, and
like our voices are sodifferent but at the same time,
it's kind of coming from thislike same, like filter of like
living, your like authenticqueer life.

Speaker 3 (01:09:15):
We're all trying to get the same place, yeah.
While understanding wherepeople are at currently.

Speaker 1 (01:09:19):
Yeah, so yeah, thank, while understanding where
people are at currently.
So, yeah, thank you guys forcoming on the show, and we are
also going to be doing acrossover episode with the no
Gays in Montana, so stay tunedfor that.
We'll be on their show, butuntil next week we wish you well
.
Bye, bitches.
Thanks for listening to anotherepisode of Unfamously Unwell,

(01:09:41):
the unrated podcast hosted byyour two favorite Seattle
homosexuals on a journey tohigher health.
Listen each week as we deepdive into a new topic and give
you all the dirty details of oursuccesses and failures along
the way.

Speaker 4 (01:09:54):
You can send us your questions, feedback or share
your own victory advice bywriting to unfamouslyunwell at
gmailcom or by clicking the linkat the bottom of the
description to shoot us a text.
We'd love to hear from you andshare your stories on the pod.

Speaker 1 (01:10:05):
We'll see you back here next week for another
unhinged episode of.
Unfamously.

Speaker 4 (01:10:09):
Unwell.

Speaker 3 (01:10:10):
Unrated.

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