November 13, 2024 • 52 mins
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Prepare this week to laugh as we recount the chaotic pre-Halloween preparations that include makeshift costumes and unexpected party advice. From turning into Lara Croft and a grandma to cash-only drinks and unexpected encounters, the night proves to be a whirlwind of spontaneity and friendship. As if the night wasn’t eventful enough, a surprise hookup among friends adds a juicy twist with an unexpected bath-time snack of corn.
Our journey doesn’t end there; with a fun pre-trip waxing session filled with ADD-fueled chaos and playlist dilemmas, we gear up for Palm Springs. From a serendipitous business brainstorming session in Puerto Vallarta to humorous cooking misadventures, this episode is all about embracing life’s unpredictability. As we share our financial triumphs and prepare for a sommelier exam, we invite you, our cherished listeners, to continue sharing your stories with us. Let’s keep the laughter and unexpected adventures rolling!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Maybe it's like a tonal thing, not a volume thing
is what I'm saying, which reallydoes make sense, because you
can't sing Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
It's so interesting you mentioned that because
recently I went home and I wentto my Dogs can't hear certain
notes.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
I wish I couldn't hear the dog that lives with us,
but I do.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I went home and my mom's dad, my papaw, was there.
I'm close with my nana, herexhusband, who haven't we never,
really ever see and he comes upand says hi, and he's like you
know, I remember when I used totake you to your speech and
hearing and I looked at him.
I'm like I have no recollectionof that.
How old were you?
Like I know I went to speechand hearing because nana took me
(00:38):
every single day.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Oh, like I went during.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Like in elementary school, I went every single day
during school.
Right and then every single dayafter school to like.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
So you remember it, but you're like you didn't take
me.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
And I'm like, did I just like erase you from my
whole brain Because like thatseems like a weird story?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Maybe he was in the backseat of the car you were in
the front with Nana or Mamaw.
Nana, nana, it was Nana, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
And I'm like I don't remember that at all.
And then what I told him I saidoddly enough, the one like baby
little child memory I have ofmyself is me you picking me up
in your 18 wheeler.
He used to be a truck driverand I remember the sensation
that I shit in my pants.
What was I like three.
And then I think the reasonthat memory came back is because
(01:25):
the story I shared recentlywhen I shit my pants in the car.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
This year, so nothing's changed and that
sensation never leaves you.
Yeah, it just comes floodingback, wow, yeah, so I can't hear
and I can't hold my bowels.
I am a pad ball.
You are such a catch you'rereally selling yourself.
Yeah, what boy doesn't want todate?
You Can't hear, can't sing,can't hold his balls.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Bad attitude all the time.
Yeah, pretty much yeah.
Yeah, but I can make a meancraft.
Can't cook, can't cook, can'tcook, have no taste in wine.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Yeah, I was actually really pissed because when I was
in Palm Springs I just foundout that you made payday
spaghetti and apparently you didit out of spite because
literally the day you left youleft the 30th, yeah, Literally a
minute that I don't know whatcame over me.
I was like I'm gonna make it.
David was like what's thatextra spice in it?
Spite, it's spite.
(02:24):
Yeah, kyle left it's bite.
Yeah, kyle left.
It's like when a dog like shitswhen you like go on vacation,
you know, or like throws up orsomething.
It's like it's out of spite.
Yeah, it's a special spice,yeah, okay.
Well, I just go back from palmsprings, so we're gonna talk
about my palm springs trip alittle bit and then we're gonna
tie it into kind of a biggertopic today about just kind of
(02:48):
like the social anxieties ofbeing in a gay space with a
bunch of hot gay people and whatit feels like for some of us
out there who have socialanxiety, and whether or not the
people around us kind of affect,um, how that social anxiety
takes form or doesn't.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yeah, which I think is something I really talked
about a lot, not necessarilyaround gay people, but social
anxiety in general.
But before we get there, um, Iwant to talk about the elephant
in the room.
We didn't release an episodetoday.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Oh right, yeah, yeah, wednesday November 6, 2024.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
And I would like to personally apologize on Kyle's
behalf that he has been in.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
I'm so teasing.
I remember like we kept tryingto because I was like no, we're
not going.
No, you were just in a bad moodevery week.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
That's why we couldn't record.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Yeah, I was like no, we're not going to no, you were
just in a bad mood every week.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
That's why we couldn't record.
Yeah, I was like how about this?
Speaker 1 (03:47):
day?
How about this day?
How about this day?
We got to do two this week.
Then if we don't do it thisweek, oh okay, we need to skip
marketing Monday, because wehave to do a recording on Monday
, because it's the only day.
Cause I we could have recordedlike on a Wednesday, on a Sunday
(04:08):
, on a Monday, and I was likeokay, great, and I was like Kyle
this is absolutely I can't doit.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Why?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
couldn't that Sunday I gotta take a bath.
I went on a date to Krusty Krab.
I know, yeah, you chose yourdate over with a vampire for me,
but I was fucking hilariousthat day.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I'm sure you were painting and do you remember I
was hilarious, that's because Igave you a bunch of Adderall.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
You hadn't had it in like a week because you ran out,
so I gave you some Adderall andthen you were like I'm
hilarious, that's what happened.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
What is this reality that you live in?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Well, you were painting, but you were tickled
pink too.
I was.
I mean, you were hilarious, butyou just really thought you
were Hilarious, but you justreally thought you were.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
You were on one.
Oh look, kyle.
You have to look at this,because that's when I was
posting all the things from thedetails of our Halloween night.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Oh right, yeah, we do need to talk about that too.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Which doesn't really involve.
I guess you got involved withthe gay, but it doesn't really
tie into today's topic.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Oh my gosh it feels like it was so long ago I don't
even remember who did I getinvolved with.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I took notes.
Okay, maybe let's start thereso first off, this was the
Saturday before Halloween, sowhat was it Like the 26th-ish
type date?
Yeah, we started at Tristan'safter I spent so much of the
fucking day making your fuckinghats it pissed me off, so please
(05:28):
tell them what you were.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
okay, I was laura croft, tomb raider.
Good, I loved that moviebasically, I had no intention of
going out for halloween.
Caleb convinced me to go outand to go to tristan's house
beforehand.
I was like you know what, I'llgo have a couple drinks with
Tristan she's pretty chill and Iwill pull something out of my
ass to dress up in.
I had a bunch of black clothingand some harnesses, and you
(05:53):
gave me a little side satchelbag, which is classic Lara Croft
, and all I needed really was along braid.
So we went to what's it called?
Speaker 2 (06:03):
called Value Village.
We went to Value Village.
I took a coupon today, oh wowokay, well, next time I need a
long braid because I threw thatone away.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Yeah, yeah with the hat.
No, no, I kept the hat.
Oh, thank you yeah you betterwear it again, yeah yeah, got a
hat at Value Village as well,just a black hat.
And then I made Caleb like findthe font for um tomb raider and
uh, what's it called?
Speaker 2 (06:26):
transfer the vinyl transfer vinyl and you kept
picking the colors of the vinylthat were the most difficult to
do yeah, and you chose a moviefrom the early 2000s which,
trying to find a clear image, toconvert to an svg file.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yeah, I know it was hard and you did it because you
really wanted to be there, buthow the whole day came about.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I remember Tristan had FaceTimed me.
We were talking and she wasshowing me her outfit.
She said how would I do this?
I'm like I don't know and Icome shove her on FaceTime in
your face.
I'm like how will she fix this?
Right Because she was dressingup as Tinkerbell.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah, and she's like Kyle, do you want to come out?
Kyle, like, don't you sew,don't you want to come to my
party?
And I was like, um, okay, if Ihave to like alter this
Tinkerbell dress for your friend, you have to make me a fucking
hat at the very least.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
And where was I winning you?
You really did it, you reallydid it, you really did it.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
You really did it because you had like three
outfits like ideas SpongeBob wasthe first and you're like I
hate it.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I really, if I had the time.
I almost wanted to make a shirttoday that was to wear to
record this.
I hate it here becauseliterally that's all I said all
day.
Yeah, it's because that pissedme off.
I couldn't figure out an outfitand so we spent.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
But then you ended up getting your grandma outfit
together.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
And you went as a fat grandma and I was like sexy
Lara Croft and then we had likesexy Tinkerbell which you're
welcome, tristan.
I did like hem and alter thisdress so that it was gorgeous.
You slayed the fuck out of it.
I really did.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
So, after all of the shenanigans, of getting outfits
together.
We go to the place called thezoo where Tristan's neighbor's
birthday party.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Awful, he did it.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
I also agree.
Yeah, and the two memories Ihave from that is well, three
Cash only, Ugh Only had beer.
Remember when you came back andyou handed me a beer.
Yeah, I beer remember when youcame back and you handed me a
beer, I was like we gotta go,yeah.
And then at some point, me andtristan are sitting down with
this woman to tell her that sheshould leave her husband we just
met her that night.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
She's a stranger while you were having that
conversation, I met two girlswho were making a tiktok video
and I was having.
They were hot dressed as harrypotter and hermione or something
and they were making a tiktokvideo and they were showing me
how they were making it and Iwas like you guys need to be on
the podcast.
You're so funny and you're sopretty.
And they were like, oh my God,we would love to be on your
podcast.
And then in the morning Iwatched the TikTok that they
(08:53):
posted.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I was like they're not coming on the podcast, which
is funny because I posted onsocial media, tristan, making
fun of you.
She was like could you imagineyou at the bar telling people
about your podcast?
You're like and that I alsoknow, I think you sent it to me.
I was like wow, they're you.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
They are not coming on this podcast.
It's not good.
Yeah, I hope they're listeningnow.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, absolutely yeah , so then we go from there and
like subscribe the funniest partfor me that night was okay one.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
The thing I remember most about zoo is that you took
a great picture of laura croftin the bathroom we spent more
time in the bathroom absolutelyit was great, all the best shots
of the night bathroom at thezoo, good lighting, like great
background color, especially forlaura croft, lots of green.
And then the other thing Iremember of the night is how
(09:43):
many people asked me if my braidwas real, like literally it is
a braid that is bungee attachedto the top of the hat.
It does look like it goes likeunderneath the actual hat, so
it's like coming out from theback of it.
But I was like I think it'shorse hair, like it's so thick
it's never been conditioned.
It's so thick it's never beenconditioned.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
It's never been conditioned.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
It's terrible, terrible hair.
But people kept asking me isthat real?
I was like I'm not a lesbian,with the sides of his head
shaved and just one long rattail.
No, it's not real.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
It was just so.
Whenever you told me that, Isaid you're fucking lying.
At least three people.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
So we go to union like that wasn't really that
memorable?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
no, um, then we go to pony oh pony was great.
We had us a ball.
Yeah, uh, I still.
I actually think it was justyesterday.
I was chatting with the dairygirl, oh love the dairy girl.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
She is loved.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Rainbow bright, oh yeah, rainbow bright, yeah um,
the dairy girl, cute, so cute,and I was.
And no, tino, shade I, it's notlike I didn't think they.
She is Loved.
Rainbow Brite, oh yeah, rainbowBrite, yeah, the.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Dairy Girl, cute, so cute, and I was.
And no tea, no shade, it's notlike I didn't think they were
attractive.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
It's just hard to picture whenever you have very
80s hair Makeup on and yeah.
Poorly done makeup.
It's really tough.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
It's really tough Right To see someone attractive
Drag, very cute.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
So then, like we were there for a good amount of time
and then I finally get my wayand I'm like I have to dance
Mm-hmm.
Then we go to Queer Bar.
I really don't remember muchabout Queer Bar.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
No, no, no, no.
Me and Nick were like we shouldnot be going out.
There's only like 30 minutesleft.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
So we have like maybe 15 minutes left to dance and
two minutes left to dance and Ibegged and you were like, no,
I'm let's go, I'm paying and Ibegged you.
I was like this is what I need,because you know I need 10
minutes of dancing, uh, and Igot what I wanted.
So after that, like, I got mydancing, I got great
conversation, we got greatphotos.
I'm ready.
I'm like my night is checkedoff the box.
(11:38):
Uh, he lives close.
It's piss pouring the rain.
Thank god, I have my pocketbookand I'm just carrying my
pocketbook with my rat tail init and a dnr, and then look, I
smell something.
I'm like I'm gonna get corn,I'll meet y'all there and then
y'all keep going back to hisplace.
Yes, and I waited for a hotminute and then I think I
(12:00):
respond.
Then I think I texted the bothof you and I was like Ubering
home.
He was like what?
I made the bed and I respondedit's wet.
He said the bed is dry.
My response was I have corn.
No more messages.
I paid $70 for an Uber from wayup there to back here.
I ate my corn in the bath.
(12:21):
I was happy when I woke up thenext day to get like go take a
shower.
There's so many little bits Ican drop that in my bath water.
Oh my god good soup.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
That's hilarious.
Well, I think yeah so you knew,subconsciously or drunkenly,
that he and I were gonna hook up.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I don't.
I kind of was like shocked.
I'm not that shocked, but likeI was like this is juicy.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
And then whenever you came.
We really haven't even reallydebriefed about it.
No, because when you came homethe next day, because this is
like Tristan's best friend, yes,which is like your best
friend's best friend.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Who had convinced me that the two of them dated oh,
Tristan and Nick.
And that because, like Tristanand Nick Because Tristan's
chaotic enough to where I couldsee it Right and whenever you
came home and you were notdressed as Lara Croft anymore.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
No, I wasn't.
You were wearing someone else'sclothes and I was like did?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
you.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
And I was like gagged to another level.
Well, all my clothes were wetand I needed new clothes, so he
gave me an outfit which I stillneed to get back to him.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
And then I was like you didn't even tell me.
I said wait, you did, and yougave me a look.
I was like you fucking did, youfucking had sex with him and
you were like it was good.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I was like that's not what I said.
I was like you slept with himthat night.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Thank god I didn't come there.
He's like not just that night,this morning too, yeah, I did,
and I was like what, and you're?
Speaker 1 (13:51):
like it was pretty good.
That's what I said.
That's what I said.
I was like, yeah, and it wasactually pretty good.
I'm here to dramatize it.
I know, I know, but you knowour audience wants the truth,
they don't everything I've saidhas been true.
I've been lying to this thiswhole time.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah, this is just a fever dream.
And then I finally get tristanon the phone and I'm like what
the fuck?
And she's like what the fuck.
So we just it was uh-huh what.
That was a lovely night yeah,and that's so.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Should I so?
Does that mean it's okay if Ilike have sex with him again?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Okay, everyone's okay with that.
The friend group says approved.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Yeah, see, what's fun is like we're both going to act
really gagged by it.
What the fuck?
Like we're going to give you ahard time about it, but like it
doesn't bother me at all.
So go for a girly pop pop.
And that's not a.
That's not a.
I was gonna say a tree, buthe's not a tree.
That's not a limb that I wouldclimb.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
So climb on, girl?
He did ask me because he droveme back to my car in the morning
.
He was like so like what doesthis mean?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
and I was like what I would have loved to, just like.
So, like, are we dating?
I was like, that's what I was.
You're gonna ask me thatquestion, um, but I was like,
did you?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
have fun?
I was going to ask me thatquestion, um, but I was like did
you have fun?
And he's like yeah.
I was like okay, well then,stop overthinking it.
He's like but I was like stopoverthinking it, which probably
made it worse yeah.
I was like I had fun, you hadfun, let's do it again sometime.
And Caleb and Tristan are goingto have a lot of fun hearing
(15:25):
about this, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I just wish I had more corn when I heard about
y'all having sex.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
So you're going to like spat it out like a machine
gun of corn.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Do you remember my story recently Me talking about
how much I shit because I ate?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
three cans of corn.
That's all I can think of whenyou mentioned corn ever I didn't
even poop the next day okay,which speaking.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Hold that thought, because that is going to be one
of my vices.
Okay, so we'll circle back onthat later.
Yes, but the meat and thejuices juices, the meat and the
juice of this story.
It almost kind of like how wetook my trip and turned it into
a topic.
I, we want to.
I want to take your trip, yeah,turn into a topic, yeah, but
before there's one last funstory that we have to share.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Go and after I had shut you down for recording the
podcast three times in a row,before you fly out, you're like,
Caleb, you have to wax my butt.
And Caleb, you have to wax mybutt.
And I'm like I don't want toand you're like, come on, it'll
be fine.
I think I made you do it.
Did you have to go get me wine?
I was like, okay, but I wantthis.
(16:29):
There had to be.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
There was some bribery involved.
I don't remember what it was.
I remember there was a lot ofwine because I needed to chug a
full glass of it before I letyou spread my cheeks, yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
The entire time.
Okay, so picture this y'all.
I had bought this butt waxingkit a while ago.
We mentioned it at thehousewarming party, correct?
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Which my friend Fernando I did.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
We mentioned him on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
for this reason, I did let him know that I have now
successfully completed myclinical hours.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
I performed my first patient Right Because we got the
waxing kit so that you couldwax Fernando's butt.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Yeah, oh, I mainly wanted mine done.
But then, like then I hadmentioned it at the housewarming
, he was like oh my God, wouldyou do mine?
Because like in my brain I'mlike I remember reflecting on it
, Like I was like this feelslike it should be like a funny,
giddy thing.
But in my brain as soon as,like my, I just switched like
nurse mode, Right once I spreadmy cheeks.
Yeah, and your brain shut downBecause I'm like this fucking
(17:34):
song is terrible and I'm overhere like more, worried about
the playlist, Because I'm likeKyle, I'm going to need some
kind of entertainment while I'mdoing this.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Your ADD was at like a 10 out of 10 while you were
waxing my butthole and I'm like,oh, Because you were like what
temperature does this need to beat?
Does it need to be covered?
Do I need to use a smallpopsicle stick?
Let's test it on your toe first.
Which song do I have to play?
This is not the right song forwaxing a butthole.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
And then me just like describing a song in a music
video why I like it as it'splaying and I'm like, oh, it's
not done yet.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
But we did find the perfect song for Waxing a
Butthole, and it was Tattoo.
Is that what it's called?
Speaker 2 (18:09):
By Lorene, by Lorene.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yes, it was perfect.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I thought it was going to be Disease by Lady Gaga
, right, and not even because wewere talking about booty holes
but just because it had justcome out which slay.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
I love that song.
Sorry if you don't.
If you disagree, it's very famemonster which I know which is
like I'm ready for this era ofher.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Yeah, and I think that especially we're not.
I know we don't.
We're not gonna talk about theelection much um with that.
I need something to lookforward to.
But right, I quite enjoyed thebooty whacking journey, but my
favorite is okay, y'all can'tcome for me.
This isn't that gross, but it'skind of gross.
Um, I have a million and a halfboxes in my craft room right
(18:46):
now that I need to put into therecycling, and so I the box that
the waxing kit came in.
I just threw like kyle's waxingstrips in them.
After I pulled off each one, Idid hold it in front of the
light.
I was like look at all thesehairs.
Each time I showed you, andthen, right over your booty hole
, I put one, just a real thickone, and it's hard wax to
clarify.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
So as you rip it off, it can, it remains in the same
shape as whatever it was layingagainst.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
It reminds me of like when you know you're a baby and
they do your footprint, or likethey put it into concrete, yeah
I have that of your booty hole.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Yeah, literally like an impression, like a dental
impression of my butthole,that's the best way to put it.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Did you keep it?
Oh, I mean, I still have thebox.
I didn't keep it intentionally.
But you haven't thrown it outRight, so maybe I'll put it in
resin and give it to you orbedazzle you know what.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Christmas is coming up.
Imagine if we turn it into anornament.
Okay, I like that plan.
Also, I was telling my friendin Palm Springs that lives there
about this story and he goes,or I was saying you know, I
think that I'm going to takethat like wax impression of my
butthole and I'm going to frameit and call it art.
And he's like no honey, that'snot art, that's fart.
I couldn't stop laughing wait Icould not stop laughing.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
We should, because you know I'm gonna put my rat
tail in a shadow box in my craftroom.
Can we get a shadow box foryour booty hole wax?
Yes, because they're both hairy.
Well, yours is not anymorethank you um, but there is hair
on the fart, but just imaginelike a shadow box, because you
know I just keep hanging upstuff that bring me joy and just
it's just your booty holeimpression yeah, next to my rat
(20:27):
tail.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
That's 20 years old.
Anyways, that was the nightbefore I went to palm springs
give us the date.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
This was the 29th.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
You left the 30th I left on the 30th, yeah, yes of
yes, of October.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Okay Now, last episode that came out was purely
all about me, which I wishevery week was.
I'm going to be a decentpodcast.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Pass the baton honey Pass the baton.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I will let you look at the baton.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Yeah, so go ahead, let's see which one gets more
listens your episode or mine?
I'm changing the Instagrampassword and I'm not posting any
posts about it.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Okay, which we don't get any from our own, I'll still
.
I'm teasing because there'salready been so much gold in
this, I'll still get more.
There's been so much gold inthis already.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Okay, I'm going to start off by talking about okay,
this is Wednesday the 30th.
My flight is.
How did talking about um, okay,this is uh wednesday, the 30th,
my flight.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
How did the palm springs trip happen?
Speaker 1 (21:22):
because you happy bottom autumn day, yeah, and it
was casually mentioned and then,like it became like, quickly
tell us that yeah, happy bottomautumn was our um boat day with
um, our pickleball friends andsome friends from the no gays in
mont there are no Gays inMontana and Lindsay from Peace
Love Local and one of ourfriends from Pickleball said
(21:47):
that they had an extra roomavailable in their house because
someone canceled last minute.
And I go to Palm Springs almostevery year for Palm Springs
Pride because it's the firstweek of November and my birthday
is the 25th of November and noone can ever do anything around
Thanksgiving.
So I always like, try to dolike a trip somewhere and what
(22:10):
better in November than to getout of Seattle and go to Palm
Springs and celebrate pride.
And you know everyone wants togo do that and hang out and be
in the sun and lay by the pooland party and it's just like a
great time.
So I've done this maybe likefive times now.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
So now it's like a tradition, kind of a tradition.
It's Kyle's birthdaycelebration.
Pride Palm Springs.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Yeah, but I wasn't planning on doing it this year
because I'm poor, let's behonest, because I'm poor, um.
But then this room opened up in.
We're going to call him theAustralian, our pickleball
friend, born again Australian.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
He's been here 15 years, yeah, and that accent
goes in and out.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
It does go in and out .
He also lived in Boston for awhile and Lindsay, she was like
I don't trust him.
She had a couple drinks and shewas like I don't trust him.
She had a couple of drinks andshe was like I don't trust him,
I don't think he's Australian,or like I can't figure out what
his accent is and it just makesme not want to trust him.
Anyways, so the Australianinvited me to stay in their
(23:15):
Airbnb and a bunch of guys thatI don't know were staying there.
I got added to like a WhatsAppchat ended up knowing one of
them.
We'll call him New Orleansbecause that's where he's from,
nola and he and I had I likethat, nola, we'll call him, nola
.
Nola, he and I had chattedbefore on Grindr but I didn't
(23:37):
know that going into the trip hewas going to be there and we
had like planned to like hook upa couple of times.
Never worked out.
You know how it is in Seattle,just people are yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Okay, you know how it is People cancel last minute.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
All the time I don't know what it is about Seattle,
but that's a thing, do you agree?
Reminds me of whenever youasked that guy I don't want to
do anything sexual you can giveme a blowjob, a massage, feed me
popcorn while I watch a movie,Continue, yeah, well, at least
I'm a friend about it, right,Okay?
Speaker 2 (24:04):
So you never actually connected in the city that you
both live in currently Correct.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah, but I knew that I wanted to get to know him a
little bit better, so I askedeveryone for their seat
arrangements on the flight andthe morning of my flight.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
I changed my seat so that I was sitting next to him.
Wait, that's actually fuckingbrilliant, thank you, yeah, was
it Alaskan?
Speaker 1 (24:30):
yeah, alaska, wow, that's light, oh my god so I
changed my seat, so we sat nextto each other and you're like,
oh, my god, what are thecoincidences?
Yeah, I was like you're gonnalove me.
I brought all these snacks fromTrader Joe's.
I was like I'm gonna, you'regonna love me.
I brought all these snacks fromTrader Joe's.
I was like a man through a wayto the man's heart is through
his stomach Fucking bird trailmix shit, exactly that.
(24:50):
And Cheetos, the truffleCheetos.
Oh, my God yeah, and chocolatecovered pretzels, yeah, a lot of
stuff.
But we had a great timecatching up or like kind of
meeting each other for the firsttime on the flight there.
Then we get there, check intothe airbnb and there are there's
(25:11):
a bed for every person and, uh,for whatever reason, I was like
nola and I are gonna stay inthe king-size bed together well,
because you're used to aking-size bed.
Well, basically, like no onecould figure out like who's
staying in what bed, and sothere's eight people.
There's eight beds, yeah, andtwo people were not showing up
till the next day, so reallythere were eight, six, six
(25:34):
people for eight beds, butthere's a king-size bed.
I didn't want to feel like badabout like taking the king-size
bed.
But I didn't want to feel badabout taking the king-size bed,
but I was like, oh, it'll makeit seem better if I share it.
It's my birth month.
I was like it's my birth month.
I'm used to sleeping in aking-size bed at home, so David
and I want to let's take thisbed.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
I want to pause right there because we need a preface
of you eating bird food trailmix for the week and a half
leading up to this Second off.
You get there and you forgetone of your medicines.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Oh, my God, and you're like Prep.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I forgot my prep, you forgot your prep and you're
like Caleb, I need you toovernight it to me.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
I need you to overnight my prep.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
And I literally was like, okay, like I can.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Like do you think it's going to get?
Speaker 2 (26:19):
there in time.
Then I're like oh my God, thankyou.
You messaged in the WhatsAppand two people who weren't there
yet brought extra for you.
Yes, they really saved the day.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
I saved the day.
You did nothing.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
I gave you the idea.
I know.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
I know, I know I was panicking.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I was panicking.
You were like I prepped.
This is like your marathon.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
You're like I prepped for this for a while eating
bird seed for a week and a half,getting on my uh probiotics,
then getting off my probioticsbecause it made me fart.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Me trying to like me luring you in, like, oh, do you
want like this junk food thing?
And you're like, no, I'm eatingmy fucking dromics.
Thank you very much.
And imagine it all goes awrybecause you forget your prep.
I know that would be awful, soand that's all I wanted to
continue your storyline, yeah,good, tangent.
So first night there's six ofyou, eight beds, you decide you.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
And Nola, have to share the king's eyes.
Yes, okay.
So I planned a full familydinner for everyone because I
was there visiting a bunch ofother people there's probably I
don't know 40 people fromSeattle that I knew.
So I was like this is reallythe only night that I have like
to do a family dinner, so Iwould love it if you guys could
(27:30):
make the time and I'll cookdinner for everyone.
Then they're like okay, let'sgo get groceries.
And I was like I really coulduse a nap.
So can I just give you the listYou're the fucking worst.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
You're like, I really could use a nap, so can I just
give you the list.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
You're the fucking worst.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
You're like I am a visitor on this trip.
I want to be sleeping in a kingsize bed with Nola.
I had arranged my seat on theplane to sit next to him.
I forgot my prep.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Someone's bringing me my medicine.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
I know I'm such a mess.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
I forced my roommate to wax my butthole the night
before when he did one too.
It is your birth month, and youasked for what you fucking
wanted.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
I know and you're like wait, I don't know any of
these people.
I have to fucking show off myskill set.
I'm going to cook for everyone,Right?
Speaker 1 (28:11):
But I'm not going to do any fucking shopping.
But then I got tired, so yeah,I didn't know that detail, I
know.
So, yeah, I didn't know thatdetail, I know.
So I set them on their way andthey got all the groceries and
they came back and, um, I made awonderful dinner for all of us
and we got to know everyone alittle bit better and it was so
(28:32):
much fun getting to know them.
By the end of the night we werelike taking body shots of
people.
They were doing lap dances oneach other.
We were playing like um, likekind of like a truth or dare Uno
kind of thing, I don't know.
So what'd you make for dinner?
Oh, I made chicken kebabs and Imade a vegetable skewers and a
strawberry goat cheese salad andthat sounds fucking phenomenal
(28:58):
yeah.
Yeah, it was really good.
Did you have a sous chef?
No, nola did keep asking me ifI needed help and I was like I'm
not sure if I can trust you inthe kitchen yet it's too fast.
We're moving too fast.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
He was making this situation.
You're like just calm down.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Are you having fun?
Great Okay, then we'll do itagain.
Okay, oh, down.
Are you having fun?
Great okay, then we'll do itagain.
Okay, oh, and I forgot, I wasalso making um blended.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Uh, what do they call the coconut and pineapple pina
coladas?
Speaker 1 (29:32):
yeah, and so we're having those by the pool.
That was really fun, so I was.
I was just being a good host.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
So this is Wednesday the 30th.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Yeah, okay, okay.
So then the next day it's the31st, it's Halloween, mm-hmm, so
Not even your birth, fuckingmonth yet yeah.
So one of the reasons why I wentout to Palm Springs in addition
to my birthday and all theother things that I had going on
was because I met this woman.
We'll call her D.
I met D at a pool party inPuerto Vallarta, at the gay bar
(30:05):
or like the gay beach club.
What do you like a60-something-year-old woman was
doing with her 70 or 80-year-old, 80-something mom?
Yeah, I have no idea.
But I'm at this pool party and,of course, like, who do I talk
to when I'm surrounded by a tonof hot gay men the oldest women
(30:25):
at the bar and so we just hit itoff.
She lives in Palm Springs, somy friend and I we went and had
dinner with her.
She works for or, yeah, shevolunteers for a startup that,
um, helps, like youngentrepreneurs, get their
startups off the ground.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
So like shark tank, but not like yeah, yeah, yeah,
cause she was out there tryingto give away money and PV.
So yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
So we kind of like um , we're talking about opening up
a wine bar in Palm Springs, andso we had dinner with her to
kind of figure out whatresources are available to us
there and looking for potentialinvestors.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
And thank God you had your prep with you.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
And thank God I had my prep with me, so any hot
daddies along the way I couldsit on their deck.
Wait, so this was Halloweennight.
This is Halloween, yeah, yeah,kind of early evening, okay yeah
so then, my favorite part ofhalloween I just have to talk
about.
How did that go, though?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
oh, it went really well because I you can update me
.
You don't have to include allof it, but like, yeah, detail,
like really well she's likewhich friend did?
Speaker 1 (31:35):
she already wants us to come out for this like
investor dinner but god, that'sactually really.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
That's amazing, yeah, especially after you were
sharing with me today about howyou were so spot on about the
wine and stuff you were tastinglike it's all coming to.
I hope it's fruit ish and it'soh, that's good that's good yeah
, it's really exciting.
Yeah, get back to the chaos now.
But I just really wanted toknow because I forgot, forgot
there's so many levels to thisshort trip.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Okay, I know so that was Halloween early evening.
So it's Halloween.
So what do I go out dress up infor Halloween?
But my Lara Croft costume, butwithout the Lara Croft hat and
braid.
Instead I put on devil ears ordevil horns, because that's all
I got, that's what you found inthe tomb.
That's what I found.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yeah, I raided the tomb no, you were sent to hell
after you fucked our friend.
Uh-huh, yeah.
And then you came back with thepigeons.
Yeah, did you fuck the devil.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Yes, I did.
But some of my favoritecostumes of the night were, okay
, my friend uh in our landlordaustin.
He dressed up not only as one,not only as two, but three
different characters, all fromMonsters Inc.
One was Boo the little girl.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Yeah, I'm very familiar with the movie.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
So the cute little nightgown right, Mm-hmm Two.
Okay, the nightgown was kind ofpulled up to the side to reveal
a banana hammock with a singleeye on it, mike wazowski mike
wazowski mike wazowski, I'mwatching you.
Is that what his booty hole lipsaid?
And then that would be greatnext year and then no, then he
(33:15):
had like a little clutch thatwas like the solely um fur, so
he was like all three characterswrapped in up into one, you
know I think he's like a subtlecreative person.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
He's not gonna put it in your face, but like that,
being able to put that togetheroh yeah, he'll surprise you.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
He's also very punny, yeah.
And then his partner, our otherlandlord, brian, my best friend
.
He was sadness from.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Inside Out, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
And he's like.
But I got a little bit of joyhere and he was just wearing
like a neon jockstrap, so inthat kind of like yellow joy
color, so like joy is coming outin the middle of sadness, I'm
just tickled and his partner,after you, described this
amazing outfit just his sadness,then it's out of context, it's
(34:03):
just yeah, looking hilarious, sogood okay love.
Yeah, any other like um, okay,yes, one more was this like
crazy encounter was with thisgirl.
Okay, you're a fan of horrormovies, right?
Speaker 2 (34:16):
yes, I love something that gives me anxiety.
Me too, too Caused by my ownhead.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Yes, yeah, it's like self-inflicted pain, you know.
It's just like, yeah, I havecontrol over this.
I love it.
Yeah, so have you seen themovie X or Pearl or Maxine?
It's a trilogy.
No Girl, this is like one of myfavorite horror series.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
It sounds like mammal names other than x yeah, earl
and maxine.
Yeah, maxine's, my name ismiddle name.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Continue okay, so she was the main character from uh,
maxine, uh, or it's this, it'sthe main character from all
three, but she, like, wasdressed up as the version from
the third movie, maxine.
And the crazy thing was I was,because I spotted it from across
the room.
I was like, oh, my God, you aredoing such a good job with this
(35:04):
costume, embodying Maxine'scharacter.
And we started talking.
And she lives in Pioneer Town,which is like the town over
towards Joshua Tree.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Wait, one of the Real Housewives said they owned that
.
Yes, right, it was like a movieset.
That's true.
Yeah, yeah, yeah you know.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
So um two years ago, instead of going to palm springs
and staying there, I stayed inum joshua tree for my birthday
and we went out in pioneer townone night and we were going to
this uh concert and uh at arestaurant venue.
It's kind of like a duo likerestaurant plus concert venue,
(35:47):
and it was like a three-hourwait to get in and my friend
pulls out a hundred dollar billand bribes one of the waitresses
to push like some tablestogether to get us uh seated so
that we can have dinner beforethis concert and she goes.
That was me shut up.
She's like I work at thatrestaurant.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
I work at that, she remembered you yeah was the
friend.
Well, she didn't remember mespecifically.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
But she remembered like getting bribed that night
because you told the story.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Okay, yeah, what I bet you just had, like your
brain exploded the amount ofcoincidences.
You weren't even supposed to bein Palm Springs.
Yeah, you went with people youdidn't like.
Yeah, oh my God.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Yeah, anyways, so that was Halloween, and then.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Did you have sex?
Yes, because I do want toallude to you cutting your
finger down to the bone and meoffering you surgical glue
before you went on this trip andI'm like, and you're like, no,
it's going to be fine.
I'm like what if you stick itin?
Speaker 1 (36:44):
someone's butthole?
I know I smashed my finger in aJimmy John's store.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Because Not the?
Not Jimmy John the man.
The restaurant, no, therestaurant.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Yeah but so is me exiting and smashing my finger.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
You can't be seen.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
I fucking love Jimmy John's.
I am not ashamed of it.
Thank you very much, yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
Yeah, so that's why I wanted to say that before you
start telling your sexcomplaints.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
I had a flesh wound on my finger and, yes, I was
very worried about fingeringsomeone and getting blood all
over it.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Not that you could be sharing anything, but because
you had your prep?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Yeah, because I had my prep, so you had sex that
night.
Yes.
With whom I went home at twoo'clock in the morning after
shutting down the bar, got intobed with my bedmate Nola.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Okay, thank God I had to mouth to you.
I was like, do not say theirname.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
And we proceeded to fornicate.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Was there penetration or was it just side?
Speaker 1 (37:42):
That night was foreshadowing, but that night
was just side Pisses me off.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Were you both like no , I can't.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
No.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Occupado.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
The first night we.
You wanted to explore eachother.
The first night we just madeout.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
The second night this is the second nightlloween
night is the second night oh sothe night that you were there
you cooked dinner you just madeout and you went to bed, yeah
okay, like a good night kissyeah yeah, and then you side
actioned halloween night at 2 amyeah okay then this is when it
gets juicy with Nola the nextday.
(38:21):
November 1st your birth month.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yeah, that's true.
Now we're into my birth month.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
Now we're getting lucky.
Yes, you're being celebrated.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Yeah, so the whole house goes to breakfast together
.
Everyone decides to go shoppingafter breakfast, but it's the
hottest day there and I do notwant to walk the streets, so I
decided to go home early.
I am so horny for some reason,probably because I only got side
action the night before.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
So that's like scratching an itch.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Right.
So I get home like I'm assumingit much earlier than everyone
else and I decided I'm going tojack off.
So I lay down in bed and put onsome porn and start jacking off
.
Did you have earphones in?
No, oh my god.
And then who walks in like fiveminutes later because, yes,
(39:10):
sorry, it takes me longer thanfive minutes you weren't even
like.
Oh, I was like lubed up oranything I was yeah, I was.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
You're like I was five minutes into the film who
walks in, but nola, what are youdoing?
Speaker 1 (39:27):
I literally was like, oh my god, is that what you
said?
Like how do you know?
Okay, so nola walks into theroom and I'm like like, do you
want to help me out?
Oh no, I'm so embarrassed, I'mso glad you're here and he's
like yeah, I can't figure thisthing out.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
I've never done it before.
I keep trying.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
I don't know Anyways.
So anyways, we take it to thebathroom.
You in the fucking showers,yeah.
And then we went to town.
You had sex, mm-hmm sex.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Did you top or bottom ?
Now I know what you're thinking.
Why did you cut us off?
We were in.
We're there, we're ready for it.
We're ready for the story.
I promise you it's not as juicyand interesting as you think it
is.
We decided that we're going togive you a twofer, so we are
interrupting this end of anepisode to give you regular
(40:17):
scheduled programming.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, here in the studio.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
We like to do it your way, but don't get crazy.
We wanted to come back with alittle victory advice for this
episode, to kind of hold you off, you know, to keep you coming
back for more, and I think thatwe should just quickly pop in
and give a quick victory advice,because our lives have been so
fruitful that's a call out toearlier in the episode so
(40:41):
fruitful here lately that Ithink that we have some pretty
decent victory and vices thisweek.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Yeah, so stay tuned for next week's episode, where
you can find the answer to thequestion of did I top or bottom?
Speaker 2 (40:55):
And we finally correlate feeling social anxiety
in a gay setting.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
You're not going to get any of that on this episode
but next week you shall yeah so,kyle, okay, my victory of the
week is that, after spending 45minutes on the phone with
seattle city lights, I thoughtthat we were gonna have a three
thousand dollar utility billthat we haven't paid in six
months since we moved in sincewe moved in in may.
(41:20):
Um, but my victory is that wedo not have to pay a three
thousand dollar utility bill,that we only have a three a
thousand dollar utility bill.
So, um, it was just a hugerelief off my back and hopefully
everyone else is back in umthis house.
I've had the best luck withphone calls recently and saving
(41:44):
a lot of money.
So one I saved $2,000 on thephone today.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
And it benefited me.
So I like that one the best yousupport.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Okay.
I also called my wirelesscarrier and I got $20 knocked
off my bill after threatening tocancel.
Let me just say that that's thebest way to save money from
whoever your wireless carrier is.
They cannot do anything if youcall customer service, but if
you call and you say I need tocancel my plan, they will do
(42:16):
anything to save the plan.
That's a hot tip.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
We also learned that we're both with Verizon, so we
should just get on a joint plan,a family plan, yeah that's next
on my list.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
The other thing that I did is I got $200 a month
knocked off my health insurancebill.
Isn't that insane?
I don't know if I wouldpersonally share the fraud that
I'm committing on the internet,but, kyle, what I love is that
we have such few people thatlisten to this episode right
you're probably going to be safeyeah, um, okay, then my vice of
the week is that okay, I am sixweeks into my w set, level two,
(42:54):
somalia training, and can youtell people what that means?
Yes, yes.
So basically, I go two hours aweek to Issaquah to taste a
bunch of wines and learn aboutdifferent varietals, where they
come from, the climate that theygrow in, the different flavor
(43:15):
characteristics that theyexpress and how they're blended,
what you know.
Certain regions are known for amillion different things and I
kind of thought that it wasgoing to be easy and I wasn't
going to need to study.
But we're finally six weeks inand I'm like shit, I haven't
studied a single day outside ofclass and I really need to like
dive in and start studying, um,otherwise I'm not going to pass
(43:38):
my test and get my certificate.
So I'm only like two weeks awayfrom my exam and I'm kind of
stressing out that I haven'tstudied that much other than
drinking wine while recording apodcast.
Okay, what are your victory andvices of the week, caleb?
Speaker 2 (43:54):
I'm going to just share an ongoing run on sentence
of a thought that I have, and Ithink it contains victory and
vices.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Okay, is it two and one or?
Speaker 2 (44:04):
We'll see.
Okay, We'll see.
So while you and David weregone, you know you were in Palm
Springs and David Was in Idaho.
Oh, that's where he went.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Anyway, regardless, I was here by myself and I
haven't had a weekend alone.
Five bedrooms, all to yourself,yes, and I slept on the couch
one night.
I just fell asleep there, but Ithink I, especially with my job
and then just like reallyfeeling the pressures of like oh
, I need to go and be social orI need to go and do this.
It's really like distracted mefrom being like in tune with
(44:41):
like what I actually want to goand be social or I need to go
and do this it's really likedistracted me from being like in
tune with, like, what Iactually want to go and do and
not go and do.
So definitely the vice of thisis, while you were gone, um, a
lot of the people that I lovethe most and that I kept, that
really kept me here in seattle,were my travelers friends, and
there were several of us thatstill live here seattle working
staff jobs.
She had a last minute, likefriendsgiving, the same day that
(45:06):
we were supposed to go tohalloween party, like that we do
with another traveler's friendsto host it, and I backed out of
the um, her going awayfriendsgiving and then you had
no plans other than passing outon the couch.
Yes, okay, but I and I I think Ieven mentioned this to you like
(45:27):
I enjoy doing certain things,but I feel like all I've been
doing a lot lately is like doingthings for others and I think
that a lot of that has to dowith my job like doing things I
don't want to do and like notlike just like having the
bandwidth or free time to go,like explore what Caleb would
enjoy or feel naturally drawn to.
So I felt so much guilt to whereI almost got talked into going
(45:50):
because my friend Drew stayedwith me when he was in town to
go out and I decided to stay inand I still started feeling
really, really guilty.
But having that weekend aloneof just really hardcore
advocating for myself andknowing I'll probably let people
down, I realized it was waymore important for me to I don't
(46:12):
know, just be with myself andsit with myself, because there's
a lot of shit that has happenedthis year that I don't think
I've truly allowed myself toprocess.
You know, with moving, thebreakup, my mom all dying, just
I've really felt like I've beenmissing my family a lot.
There's just a lot of thingsthat I've just been distracting
myself with, work, trying tostay busy.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
And you took a minute to like take care of yourself,
and so it just.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
I crafted a shit ton.
I got to just go on deep divesin movies.
I like had pizza three nightsin a row.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
That's true.
Self-care right there.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
It is, but it just it just felt nice to really feel
like I'm, like I was on my owntimeline and I think that it
kind of gave me a good resetyeah think that it kind of gave
me a good reset, yeah, and thenit caused this whole like
thought process that if I thepeople that are going to stay in
your life and be your constantsupporters, even if you do
(47:08):
something that could have anegative outcome or affect them,
if they would truly care aboutyou and your well-being, if
you're doing like if I, you know, had to do work or like I just
really needed some alone time,they're not going to hold it
against you and I don't know whyit's taken me so long to
connect those realizations.
So my advice was this heavy,heavy guilt that I felt like I
(47:31):
didn't go, but I think byfeeling that and ending the
weekend with such a positiveinternal connection with myself
kind of helped offset that.
So it was the action of stayinghome was my vice, but also a
victory, because I showed up formyself, which I haven't done in
a long time.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
And it's kind of nice to know that, like people are
going to like show up for youand support you being the best
version of yourself, even if itmeans taking time away from them
and, um, maybe not making thebest choice in their minds, but
the them knowing that you'redoing something that's right for
(48:13):
you, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
Right and I the way I think of it is like if someone
showed up to work and all theycould do is half ass and that
was their best that day.
To me, it's way more importantfor you just not to be there.
Do some work on yourself and bealone with yourself and come
back authentically.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
Take a personal wellness day yeah, or a weekend,
or a personal day yeah, or aweekend, yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:38):
Okay, to make this a little bit more funny, because I
was heavy, I do want to justmention advice I know that some
of the girly pops on here haveseen these onion boils on the
tiktok oh my god, you showed me,I've shown you like six or
seven times and I'm just like ohmy god, they just look so good
it's like kind of like ablooming onion right, but like
without the deep fried part.
Yes, and it's gonna make meemotional?
(48:59):
Not really, because do you knowthat you have to bake it in the
oven for an hour?
So somehow after time sauteingall the other shit, hard boiling
eggs, but making sure they'renot too cold in the ice bath so
it can still warm back up, I putthem over basmati rice and I
spent like so much money on allthese different spices.
Kyle, it tasted awful, oh no.
(49:24):
And to call back to one of thethings you previously said about
your probiotics, I had theworst gas.
I've never been woken up by ascent, yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:36):
Was it the eggs or the onions?
Speaker 2 (49:39):
All the seasonings on top of it, was it the eggs or
the onions?
All the seasonings on top of it.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
I literally had to come downstairs to get a glass
of water.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
To cleanse my palate.
I had to sleep with only a topsheet on, because I'm not
trapping that in there.
Did it blow off the sheet?
I almost would much rather havean experience of me shitting my
pants in the car again than tohave to go through what I went
through last night.
Wow me constantly farting andme constantly waking up between
(50:05):
my crazy ass fucking chantixdreams uh-huh, it was just a
wild ride were you in hell andthere was some like fire and
brimstone and a dragon and oneof them.
I'll share quickly.
Then we have to end um, I'mdefinitely afraid of
rattlesnakes any snakes ingeneral, and I had one and I'd
go back to sleep and it wouldliterally start where the last
(50:27):
dream left off and it woke me upsix times in one night wow,
yeah, not just your farts oh,also, my victory is I could it
could be that I was cocky and Iwent on a go-kart racing date
with someone who actually likeraces cars and I won two out of
the three races.
That's your victory.
Yeah, I listed a lot.
Oh, you have a lot of victoriesand races.
(50:47):
Well, they can decipher.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
All right.
So if you guys want to shareyour Halloween stories, please
write in to our email atunfamouslyunwell, at gmailcom.
Follow us on Instagram atunfamouslyunwell at gmailcom.
Follow us on Instagram atunfamouslyunwell and send us a
text with your victories andvices, your fun Halloween
stories.
We want to know what you werefor Halloween, what you dressed
(51:11):
up as and any crazy stories thatyou had along the way.
And other than that, we'll seeyou next week for regular,
scheduled programming.
Hashtag to be continued Untilnext week.
Speaker 2 (51:25):
We wish you well.
Boo, I was going to say raidsome tombs or something.
Speaker 1 (51:32):
Well, not too.
Thanks for listening to anotherepisode of Unfamously Unwell,
the unrated podcast hosted byyour two favorite Seattle
homosexuals on a journey tohigher health.
Listen each week as we deepdive into a new topic and give
you all the dirty details of oursuccesses and failures along
the way.
Speaker 2 (51:48):
You can send us your questions, feedback or share
your own victory advice bywriting to unfamouslyunwell at
gmailcom or by clicking the linkat the bottom of the
description to shoot us a text.
We'd love to hear from you andshare your stories on the pod.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
We'll see you back here next week for another un.
Maybe it's like a tonal thing, not a volume thing
is what I'm saying, which reallydoes make sense, because you
can't sing Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
It's so interesting you mentioned that because
recently I went home and I wentto my Dogs can't hear certain
notes.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
I wish I couldn't hear the dog that lives with us,
but I do.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I went home and my mom's dad, my papaw, was there.
I'm close with my nana, herexhusband, who haven't we never,
really ever see and he comes upand says hi, and he's like you
know, I remember when I used totake you to your speech and
hearing and I looked at him.
I'm like I have no recollectionof that.
How old were you?
Like I know I went to speechand hearing because nana took me
(00:38):
every single day.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Oh, like I went during.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Like in elementary school, I went every single day
during school.
Right and then every single dayafter school to like.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
So you remember it, but you're like you didn't take
me.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
And I'm like, did I just like erase you from my
whole brain Because like thatseems like a weird story?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Maybe he was in the backseat of the car you were in
the front with Nana or Mamaw.
Nana, nana, it was Nana, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
And I'm like I don't remember that at all.
And then what I told him I saidoddly enough, the one like baby
little child memory I have ofmyself is me you picking me up
in your 18 wheeler.
He used to be a truck driverand I remember the sensation
that I shit in my pants.
What was I like three.
And then I think the reasonthat memory came back is because
(01:25):
the story I shared recentlywhen I shit my pants in the car.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
This year, so nothing's changed and that
sensation never leaves you.
Yeah, it just comes floodingback, wow, yeah, so I can't hear
and I can't hold my bowels.
I am a pad ball.
You are such a catch you'rereally selling yourself.
Yeah, what boy doesn't want todate?
You Can't hear, can't sing,can't hold his balls.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Bad attitude all the time.
Yeah, pretty much yeah.
Yeah, but I can make a meancraft.
Can't cook, can't cook, can'tcook, have no taste in wine.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Yeah, I was actually really pissed because when I was
in Palm Springs I just foundout that you made payday
spaghetti and apparently you didit out of spite because
literally the day you left youleft the 30th, yeah, Literally a
minute that I don't know whatcame over me.
I was like I'm gonna make it.
David was like what's thatextra spice in it?
Spite, it's spite.
(02:24):
Yeah, kyle left it's bite.
Yeah, kyle left.
It's like when a dog like shitswhen you like go on vacation,
you know, or like throws up orsomething.
It's like it's out of spite.
Yeah, it's a special spice,yeah, okay.
Well, I just go back from palmsprings, so we're gonna talk
about my palm springs trip alittle bit and then we're gonna
tie it into kind of a biggertopic today about just kind of
(02:48):
like the social anxieties ofbeing in a gay space with a
bunch of hot gay people and whatit feels like for some of us
out there who have socialanxiety, and whether or not the
people around us kind of affect,um, how that social anxiety
takes form or doesn't.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yeah, which I think is something I really talked
about a lot, not necessarilyaround gay people, but social
anxiety in general.
But before we get there, um, Iwant to talk about the elephant
in the room.
We didn't release an episodetoday.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Oh right, yeah, yeah, wednesday November 6, 2024.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
And I would like to personally apologize on Kyle's
behalf that he has been in.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
I'm so teasing.
I remember like we kept tryingto because I was like no, we're
not going.
No, you were just in a bad moodevery week.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
That's why we couldn't record.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Yeah, I was like no, we're not going to no, you were
just in a bad mood every week.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
That's why we couldn't record.
Yeah, I was like how about this?
Speaker 1 (03:47):
day?
How about this day?
How about this day?
We got to do two this week.
Then if we don't do it thisweek, oh okay, we need to skip
marketing Monday, because wehave to do a recording on Monday
, because it's the only day.
Cause I we could have recordedlike on a Wednesday, on a Sunday
(04:08):
, on a Monday, and I was likeokay, great, and I was like Kyle
this is absolutely I can't doit.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Why?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
couldn't that Sunday I gotta take a bath.
I went on a date to Krusty Krab.
I know, yeah, you chose yourdate over with a vampire for me,
but I was fucking hilariousthat day.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I'm sure you were painting and do you remember I
was hilarious, that's because Igave you a bunch of Adderall.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
You hadn't had it in like a week because you ran out,
so I gave you some Adderall andthen you were like I'm
hilarious, that's what happened.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
What is this reality that you live in?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Well, you were painting, but you were tickled
pink too.
I was.
I mean, you were hilarious, butyou just really thought you
were Hilarious, but you justreally thought you were.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
You were on one.
Oh look, kyle.
You have to look at this,because that's when I was
posting all the things from thedetails of our Halloween night.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Oh right, yeah, we do need to talk about that too.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Which doesn't really involve.
I guess you got involved withthe gay, but it doesn't really
tie into today's topic.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Oh my gosh it feels like it was so long ago I don't
even remember who did I getinvolved with.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I took notes.
Okay, maybe let's start thereso first off, this was the
Saturday before Halloween, sowhat was it Like the 26th-ish
type date?
Yeah, we started at Tristan'safter I spent so much of the
fucking day making your fuckinghats it pissed me off, so please
(05:28):
tell them what you were.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
okay, I was laura croft, tomb raider.
Good, I loved that moviebasically, I had no intention of
going out for halloween.
Caleb convinced me to go outand to go to tristan's house
beforehand.
I was like you know what, I'llgo have a couple drinks with
Tristan she's pretty chill and Iwill pull something out of my
ass to dress up in.
I had a bunch of black clothingand some harnesses, and you
(05:53):
gave me a little side satchelbag, which is classic Lara Croft
, and all I needed really was along braid.
So we went to what's it called?
Speaker 2 (06:03):
called Value Village.
We went to Value Village.
I took a coupon today, oh wowokay, well, next time I need a
long braid because I threw thatone away.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Yeah, yeah with the hat.
No, no, I kept the hat.
Oh, thank you yeah you betterwear it again, yeah yeah, got a
hat at Value Village as well,just a black hat.
And then I made Caleb like findthe font for um tomb raider and
uh, what's it called?
Speaker 2 (06:26):
transfer the vinyl transfer vinyl and you kept
picking the colors of the vinylthat were the most difficult to
do yeah, and you chose a moviefrom the early 2000s which,
trying to find a clear image, toconvert to an svg file.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yeah, I know it was hard and you did it because you
really wanted to be there, buthow the whole day came about.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I remember Tristan had FaceTimed me.
We were talking and she wasshowing me her outfit.
She said how would I do this?
I'm like I don't know and Icome shove her on FaceTime in
your face.
I'm like how will she fix this?
Right Because she was dressingup as Tinkerbell.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah, and she's like Kyle, do you want to come out?
Kyle, like, don't you sew,don't you want to come to my
party?
And I was like, um, okay, if Ihave to like alter this
Tinkerbell dress for your friend, you have to make me a fucking
hat at the very least.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
And where was I winning you?
You really did it, you reallydid it, you really did it.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
You really did it because you had like three
outfits like ideas SpongeBob wasthe first and you're like I
hate it.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I really, if I had the time.
I almost wanted to make a shirttoday that was to wear to
record this.
I hate it here becauseliterally that's all I said all
day.
Yeah, it's because that pissedme off.
I couldn't figure out an outfitand so we spent.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
But then you ended up getting your grandma outfit
together.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
And you went as a fat grandma and I was like sexy
Lara Croft and then we had likesexy Tinkerbell which you're
welcome, tristan.
I did like hem and alter thisdress so that it was gorgeous.
You slayed the fuck out of it.
I really did.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
So, after all of the shenanigans, of getting outfits
together.
We go to the place called thezoo where Tristan's neighbor's
birthday party.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Awful, he did it.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
I also agree.
Yeah, and the two memories Ihave from that is well, three
Cash only, Ugh Only had beer.
Remember when you came back andyou handed me a beer.
Yeah, I beer remember when youcame back and you handed me a
beer, I was like we gotta go,yeah.
And then at some point, me andtristan are sitting down with
this woman to tell her that sheshould leave her husband we just
met her that night.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
She's a stranger while you were having that
conversation, I met two girlswho were making a tiktok video
and I was having.
They were hot dressed as harrypotter and hermione or something
and they were making a tiktokvideo and they were showing me
how they were making it and Iwas like you guys need to be on
the podcast.
You're so funny and you're sopretty.
And they were like, oh my God,we would love to be on your
podcast.
And then in the morning Iwatched the TikTok that they
(08:53):
posted.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I was like they're not coming on the podcast, which
is funny because I posted onsocial media, tristan, making
fun of you.
She was like could you imagineyou at the bar telling people
about your podcast?
You're like and that I alsoknow, I think you sent it to me.
I was like wow, they're you.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
They are not coming on this podcast.
It's not good.
Yeah, I hope they're listeningnow.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, absolutely yeah , so then we go from there and
like subscribe the funniest partfor me that night was okay one.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
The thing I remember most about zoo is that you took
a great picture of laura croftin the bathroom we spent more
time in the bathroom absolutelyit was great, all the best shots
of the night bathroom at thezoo, good lighting, like great
background color, especially forlaura croft, lots of green.
And then the other thing Iremember of the night is how
(09:43):
many people asked me if my braidwas real, like literally it is
a braid that is bungee attachedto the top of the hat.
It does look like it goes likeunderneath the actual hat, so
it's like coming out from theback of it.
But I was like I think it'shorse hair, like it's so thick
it's never been conditioned.
It's so thick it's never beenconditioned.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
It's never been conditioned.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
It's terrible, terrible hair.
But people kept asking me isthat real?
I was like I'm not a lesbian,with the sides of his head
shaved and just one long rattail.
No, it's not real.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
It was just so.
Whenever you told me that, Isaid you're fucking lying.
At least three people.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
So we go to union like that wasn't really that
memorable?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
no, um, then we go to pony oh pony was great.
We had us a ball.
Yeah, uh, I still.
I actually think it was justyesterday.
I was chatting with the dairygirl, oh love the dairy girl.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
She is loved.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Rainbow bright, oh yeah, rainbow bright, yeah um,
the dairy girl, cute, so cute,and I was.
And no, tino, shade I, it's notlike I didn't think they.
She is Loved.
Rainbow Brite, oh yeah, rainbowBrite, yeah, the.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Dairy Girl, cute, so cute, and I was.
And no tea, no shade, it's notlike I didn't think they were
attractive.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
It's just hard to picture whenever you have very
80s hair Makeup on and yeah.
Poorly done makeup.
It's really tough.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
It's really tough Right To see someone attractive
Drag, very cute.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
So then, like we were there for a good amount of time
and then I finally get my wayand I'm like I have to dance
Mm-hmm.
Then we go to Queer Bar.
I really don't remember muchabout Queer Bar.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
No, no, no, no.
Me and Nick were like we shouldnot be going out.
There's only like 30 minutesleft.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
So we have like maybe 15 minutes left to dance and
two minutes left to dance and Ibegged and you were like, no,
I'm let's go, I'm paying and Ibegged you.
I was like this is what I need,because you know I need 10
minutes of dancing, uh, and Igot what I wanted.
So after that, like, I got mydancing, I got great
conversation, we got greatphotos.
I'm ready.
I'm like my night is checkedoff the box.
(11:38):
Uh, he lives close.
It's piss pouring the rain.
Thank god, I have my pocketbookand I'm just carrying my
pocketbook with my rat tail init and a dnr, and then look, I
smell something.
I'm like I'm gonna get corn,I'll meet y'all there and then
y'all keep going back to hisplace.
Yes, and I waited for a hotminute and then I think I
(12:00):
respond.
Then I think I texted the bothof you and I was like Ubering
home.
He was like what?
I made the bed and I respondedit's wet.
He said the bed is dry.
My response was I have corn.
No more messages.
I paid $70 for an Uber from wayup there to back here.
I ate my corn in the bath.
(12:21):
I was happy when I woke up thenext day to get like go take a
shower.
There's so many little bits Ican drop that in my bath water.
Oh my god good soup.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
That's hilarious.
Well, I think yeah so you knew,subconsciously or drunkenly,
that he and I were gonna hook up.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I don't.
I kind of was like shocked.
I'm not that shocked, but likeI was like this is juicy.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
And then whenever you came.
We really haven't even reallydebriefed about it.
No, because when you came homethe next day, because this is
like Tristan's best friend, yes,which is like your best
friend's best friend.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Who had convinced me that the two of them dated oh,
Tristan and Nick.
And that because, like Tristanand Nick Because Tristan's
chaotic enough to where I couldsee it Right and whenever you
came home and you were notdressed as Lara Croft anymore.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
No, I wasn't.
You were wearing someone else'sclothes and I was like did?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
you.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
And I was like gagged to another level.
Well, all my clothes were wetand I needed new clothes, so he
gave me an outfit which I stillneed to get back to him.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
And then I was like you didn't even tell me.
I said wait, you did, and yougave me a look.
I was like you fucking did, youfucking had sex with him and
you were like it was good.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I was like that's not what I said.
I was like you slept with himthat night.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Thank god I didn't come there.
He's like not just that night,this morning too, yeah, I did,
and I was like what, and you're?
Speaker 1 (13:51):
like it was pretty good.
That's what I said.
That's what I said.
I was like, yeah, and it wasactually pretty good.
I'm here to dramatize it.
I know, I know, but you knowour audience wants the truth,
they don't everything I've saidhas been true.
I've been lying to this thiswhole time.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah, this is just a fever dream.
And then I finally get tristanon the phone and I'm like what
the fuck?
And she's like what the fuck.
So we just it was uh-huh what.
That was a lovely night yeah,and that's so.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Should I so?
Does that mean it's okay if Ilike have sex with him again?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Okay, everyone's okay with that.
The friend group says approved.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Yeah, see, what's fun is like we're both going to act
really gagged by it.
What the fuck?
Like we're going to give you ahard time about it, but like it
doesn't bother me at all.
So go for a girly pop pop.
And that's not a.
That's not a.
I was gonna say a tree, buthe's not a tree.
That's not a limb that I wouldclimb.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
So climb on, girl?
He did ask me because he droveme back to my car in the morning
.
He was like so like what doesthis mean?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
and I was like what I would have loved to, just like.
So, like, are we dating?
I was like, that's what I was.
You're gonna ask me thatquestion, um, but I was like,
did you?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
have fun?
I was going to ask me thatquestion, um, but I was like did
you have fun?
And he's like yeah.
I was like okay, well then,stop overthinking it.
He's like but I was like stopoverthinking it, which probably
made it worse yeah.
I was like I had fun, you hadfun, let's do it again sometime.
And Caleb and Tristan are goingto have a lot of fun hearing
(15:25):
about this, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I just wish I had more corn when I heard about
y'all having sex.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
So you're going to like spat it out like a machine
gun of corn.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Do you remember my story recently Me talking about
how much I shit because I ate?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
three cans of corn.
That's all I can think of whenyou mentioned corn ever I didn't
even poop the next day okay,which speaking.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Hold that thought, because that is going to be one
of my vices.
Okay, so we'll circle back onthat later.
Yes, but the meat and thejuices juices, the meat and the
juice of this story.
It almost kind of like how wetook my trip and turned it into
a topic.
I, we want to.
I want to take your trip, yeah,turn into a topic, yeah, but
before there's one last funstory that we have to share.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Go and after I had shut you down for recording the
podcast three times in a row,before you fly out, you're like,
Caleb, you have to wax my butt.
And Caleb, you have to wax mybutt.
And I'm like I don't want toand you're like, come on, it'll
be fine.
I think I made you do it.
Did you have to go get me wine?
I was like, okay, but I wantthis.
(16:29):
There had to be.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
There was some bribery involved.
I don't remember what it was.
I remember there was a lot ofwine because I needed to chug a
full glass of it before I letyou spread my cheeks, yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
The entire time.
Okay, so picture this y'all.
I had bought this butt waxingkit a while ago.
We mentioned it at thehousewarming party, correct?
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Which my friend Fernando I did.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
We mentioned him on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
for this reason, I did let him know that I have now
successfully completed myclinical hours.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
I performed my first patient Right Because we got the
waxing kit so that you couldwax Fernando's butt.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Yeah, oh, I mainly wanted mine done.
But then, like then I hadmentioned it at the housewarming
, he was like oh my God, wouldyou do mine?
Because like in my brain I'mlike I remember reflecting on it
, Like I was like this feelslike it should be like a funny,
giddy thing.
But in my brain as soon as,like my, I just switched like
nurse mode, Right once I spreadmy cheeks.
Yeah, and your brain shut downBecause I'm like this fucking
(17:34):
song is terrible and I'm overhere like more, worried about
the playlist, Because I'm likeKyle, I'm going to need some
kind of entertainment while I'mdoing this.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Your ADD was at like a 10 out of 10 while you were
waxing my butthole and I'm like,oh, Because you were like what
temperature does this need to beat?
Does it need to be covered?
Do I need to use a smallpopsicle stick?
Let's test it on your toe first.
Which song do I have to play?
This is not the right song forwaxing a butthole.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
And then me just like describing a song in a music
video why I like it as it'splaying and I'm like, oh, it's
not done yet.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
But we did find the perfect song for Waxing a
Butthole, and it was Tattoo.
Is that what it's called?
Speaker 2 (18:09):
By Lorene, by Lorene.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yes, it was perfect.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
I thought it was going to be Disease by Lady Gaga
, right, and not even because wewere talking about booty holes
but just because it had justcome out which slay.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
I love that song.
Sorry if you don't.
If you disagree, it's very famemonster which I know which is
like I'm ready for this era ofher.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Yeah, and I think that especially we're not.
I know we don't.
We're not gonna talk about theelection much um with that.
I need something to lookforward to.
But right, I quite enjoyed thebooty whacking journey, but my
favorite is okay, y'all can'tcome for me.
This isn't that gross, but it'skind of gross.
Um, I have a million and a halfboxes in my craft room right
(18:46):
now that I need to put into therecycling, and so I the box that
the waxing kit came in.
I just threw like kyle's waxingstrips in them.
After I pulled off each one, Idid hold it in front of the
light.
I was like look at all thesehairs.
Each time I showed you, andthen, right over your booty hole
, I put one, just a real thickone, and it's hard wax to
clarify.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
So as you rip it off, it can, it remains in the same
shape as whatever it was layingagainst.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
It reminds me of like when you know you're a baby and
they do your footprint, or likethey put it into concrete, yeah
I have that of your booty hole.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Yeah, literally like an impression, like a dental
impression of my butthole,that's the best way to put it.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Did you keep it?
Oh, I mean, I still have thebox.
I didn't keep it intentionally.
But you haven't thrown it outRight, so maybe I'll put it in
resin and give it to you orbedazzle you know what.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Christmas is coming up.
Imagine if we turn it into anornament.
Okay, I like that plan.
Also, I was telling my friendin Palm Springs that lives there
about this story and he goes,or I was saying you know, I
think that I'm going to takethat like wax impression of my
butthole and I'm going to frameit and call it art.
And he's like no honey, that'snot art, that's fart.
I couldn't stop laughing wait Icould not stop laughing.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
We should, because you know I'm gonna put my rat
tail in a shadow box in my craftroom.
Can we get a shadow box foryour booty hole wax?
Yes, because they're both hairy.
Well, yours is not anymorethank you um, but there is hair
on the fart, but just imaginelike a shadow box, because you
know I just keep hanging upstuff that bring me joy and just
it's just your booty holeimpression yeah, next to my rat
(20:27):
tail.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
That's 20 years old.
Anyways, that was the nightbefore I went to palm springs
give us the date.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
This was the 29th.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
You left the 30th I left on the 30th, yeah, yes of
yes, of October.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Okay Now, last episode that came out was purely
all about me, which I wishevery week was.
I'm going to be a decentpodcast.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Pass the baton honey Pass the baton.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I will let you look at the baton.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Yeah, so go ahead, let's see which one gets more
listens your episode or mine?
I'm changing the Instagrampassword and I'm not posting any
posts about it.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Okay, which we don't get any from our own, I'll still
.
I'm teasing because there'salready been so much gold in
this, I'll still get more.
There's been so much gold inthis already.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Okay, I'm going to start off by talking about okay,
this is Wednesday the 30th.
My flight is.
How did talking about um, okay,this is uh wednesday, the 30th,
my flight.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
How did the palm springs trip happen?
Speaker 1 (21:22):
because you happy bottom autumn day, yeah, and it
was casually mentioned and then,like it became like, quickly
tell us that yeah, happy bottomautumn was our um boat day with
um, our pickleball friends andsome friends from the no gays in
mont there are no Gays inMontana and Lindsay from Peace
Love Local and one of ourfriends from Pickleball said
(21:47):
that they had an extra roomavailable in their house because
someone canceled last minute.
And I go to Palm Springs almostevery year for Palm Springs
Pride because it's the firstweek of November and my birthday
is the 25th of November and noone can ever do anything around
Thanksgiving.
So I always like, try to dolike a trip somewhere and what
(22:10):
better in November than to getout of Seattle and go to Palm
Springs and celebrate pride.
And you know everyone wants togo do that and hang out and be
in the sun and lay by the pooland party and it's just like a
great time.
So I've done this maybe likefive times now.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
So now it's like a tradition, kind of a tradition.
It's Kyle's birthdaycelebration.
Pride Palm Springs.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Yeah, but I wasn't planning on doing it this year
because I'm poor, let's behonest, because I'm poor, um.
But then this room opened up in.
We're going to call him theAustralian, our pickleball
friend, born again Australian.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
He's been here 15 years, yeah, and that accent
goes in and out.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
It does go in and out .
He also lived in Boston for awhile and Lindsay, she was like
I don't trust him.
She had a couple drinks and shewas like I don't trust him.
She had a couple of drinks andshe was like I don't trust him,
I don't think he's Australian,or like I can't figure out what
his accent is and it just makesme not want to trust him.
Anyways, so the Australianinvited me to stay in their
(23:15):
Airbnb and a bunch of guys thatI don't know were staying there.
I got added to like a WhatsAppchat ended up knowing one of
them.
We'll call him New Orleansbecause that's where he's from,
nola and he and I had I likethat, nola, we'll call him, nola
.
Nola, he and I had chattedbefore on Grindr but I didn't
(23:37):
know that going into the trip hewas going to be there and we
had like planned to like hook upa couple of times.
Never worked out.
You know how it is in Seattle,just people are yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Okay, you know how it is People cancel last minute.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
All the time I don't know what it is about Seattle,
but that's a thing, do you agree?
Reminds me of whenever youasked that guy I don't want to
do anything sexual you can giveme a blowjob, a massage, feed me
popcorn while I watch a movie,Continue, yeah, well, at least
I'm a friend about it, right,Okay?
Speaker 2 (24:04):
So you never actually connected in the city that you
both live in currently Correct.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah, but I knew that I wanted to get to know him a
little bit better, so I askedeveryone for their seat
arrangements on the flight andthe morning of my flight.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
I changed my seat so that I was sitting next to him.
Wait, that's actually fuckingbrilliant, thank you, yeah, was
it Alaskan?
Speaker 1 (24:30):
yeah, alaska, wow, that's light, oh my god so I
changed my seat, so we sat nextto each other and you're like,
oh, my god, what are thecoincidences?
Yeah, I was like you're gonnalove me.
I brought all these snacks fromTrader Joe's.
I was like I'm gonna, you'regonna love me.
I brought all these snacks fromTrader Joe's.
I was like a man through a wayto the man's heart is through
his stomach Fucking bird trailmix shit, exactly that.
(24:50):
And Cheetos, the truffleCheetos.
Oh, my God yeah, and chocolatecovered pretzels, yeah, a lot of
stuff.
But we had a great timecatching up or like kind of
meeting each other for the firsttime on the flight there.
Then we get there, check intothe airbnb and there are there's
(25:11):
a bed for every person and, uh,for whatever reason, I was like
nola and I are gonna stay inthe king-size bed together well,
because you're used to aking-size bed.
Well, basically, like no onecould figure out like who's
staying in what bed, and sothere's eight people.
There's eight beds, yeah, andtwo people were not showing up
till the next day, so reallythere were eight, six, six
(25:34):
people for eight beds, butthere's a king-size bed.
I didn't want to feel like badabout like taking the king-size
bed.
But I didn't want to feel badabout taking the king-size bed,
but I was like, oh, it'll makeit seem better if I share it.
It's my birth month.
I was like it's my birth month.
I'm used to sleeping in aking-size bed at home, so David
and I want to let's take thisbed.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
I want to pause right there because we need a preface
of you eating bird food trailmix for the week and a half
leading up to this Second off.
You get there and you forgetone of your medicines.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Oh, my God, and you're like Prep.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I forgot my prep, you forgot your prep and you're
like Caleb, I need you toovernight it to me.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
I need you to overnight my prep.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
And I literally was like, okay, like I can.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Like do you think it's going to get?
Speaker 2 (26:19):
there in time.
Then I're like oh my God, thankyou.
You messaged in the WhatsAppand two people who weren't there
yet brought extra for you.
Yes, they really saved the day.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
I saved the day.
You did nothing.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
I gave you the idea.
I know.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
I know, I know I was panicking.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I was panicking.
You were like I prepped.
This is like your marathon.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
You're like I prepped for this for a while eating
bird seed for a week and a half,getting on my uh probiotics,
then getting off my probioticsbecause it made me fart.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Me trying to like me luring you in, like, oh, do you
want like this junk food thing?
And you're like, no, I'm eatingmy fucking dromics.
Thank you very much.
And imagine it all goes awrybecause you forget your prep.
I know that would be awful, soand that's all I wanted to
continue your storyline, yeah,good, tangent.
So first night there's six ofyou, eight beds, you decide you.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
And Nola, have to share the king's eyes.
Yes, okay.
So I planned a full familydinner for everyone because I
was there visiting a bunch ofother people there's probably I
don't know 40 people fromSeattle that I knew.
So I was like this is reallythe only night that I have like
to do a family dinner, so Iwould love it if you guys could
(27:30):
make the time and I'll cookdinner for everyone.
Then they're like okay, let'sgo get groceries.
And I was like I really coulduse a nap.
So can I just give you the listYou're the fucking worst.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
You're like, I really could use a nap, so can I just
give you the list.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
You're the fucking worst.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
You're like I am a visitor on this trip.
I want to be sleeping in a kingsize bed with Nola.
I had arranged my seat on theplane to sit next to him.
I forgot my prep.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Someone's bringing me my medicine.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
I know I'm such a mess.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
I forced my roommate to wax my butthole the night
before when he did one too.
It is your birth month, and youasked for what you fucking
wanted.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
I know and you're like wait, I don't know any of
these people.
I have to fucking show off myskill set.
I'm going to cook for everyone,Right?
Speaker 1 (28:11):
But I'm not going to do any fucking shopping.
But then I got tired, so yeah,I didn't know that detail, I
know.
So, yeah, I didn't know thatdetail, I know.
So I set them on their way andthey got all the groceries and
they came back and, um, I made awonderful dinner for all of us
and we got to know everyone alittle bit better and it was so
(28:32):
much fun getting to know them.
By the end of the night we werelike taking body shots of
people.
They were doing lap dances oneach other.
We were playing like um, likekind of like a truth or dare Uno
kind of thing, I don't know.
So what'd you make for dinner?
Oh, I made chicken kebabs and Imade a vegetable skewers and a
strawberry goat cheese salad andthat sounds fucking phenomenal
(28:58):
yeah.
Yeah, it was really good.
Did you have a sous chef?
No, nola did keep asking me ifI needed help and I was like I'm
not sure if I can trust you inthe kitchen yet it's too fast.
We're moving too fast.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
He was making this situation.
You're like just calm down.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Are you having fun?
Great Okay, then we'll do itagain.
Okay, oh, down.
Are you having fun?
Great okay, then we'll do itagain.
Okay, oh, and I forgot, I wasalso making um blended.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Uh, what do they call the coconut and pineapple pina
coladas?
Speaker 1 (29:32):
yeah, and so we're having those by the pool.
That was really fun, so I was.
I was just being a good host.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
So this is Wednesday the 30th.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Yeah, okay, okay.
So then the next day it's the31st, it's Halloween, mm-hmm, so
Not even your birth, fuckingmonth yet yeah.
So one of the reasons why I wentout to Palm Springs in addition
to my birthday and all theother things that I had going on
was because I met this woman.
We'll call her D.
I met D at a pool party inPuerto Vallarta, at the gay bar
(30:05):
or like the gay beach club.
What do you like a60-something-year-old woman was
doing with her 70 or 80-year-old, 80-something mom?
Yeah, I have no idea.
But I'm at this pool party and,of course, like, who do I talk
to when I'm surrounded by a tonof hot gay men the oldest women
(30:25):
at the bar and so we just hit itoff.
She lives in Palm Springs, somy friend and I we went and had
dinner with her.
She works for or, yeah, shevolunteers for a startup that,
um, helps, like youngentrepreneurs, get their
startups off the ground.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
So like shark tank, but not like yeah, yeah, yeah,
cause she was out there tryingto give away money and PV.
So yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
So we kind of like um , we're talking about opening up
a wine bar in Palm Springs, andso we had dinner with her to
kind of figure out whatresources are available to us
there and looking for potentialinvestors.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
And thank God you had your prep with you.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
And thank God I had my prep with me, so any hot
daddies along the way I couldsit on their deck.
Wait, so this was Halloweennight.
This is Halloween, yeah, yeah,kind of early evening, okay yeah
so then, my favorite part ofhalloween I just have to talk
about.
How did that go, though?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
oh, it went really well because I you can update me
.
You don't have to include allof it, but like, yeah, detail,
like really well she's likewhich friend did?
Speaker 1 (31:35):
she already wants us to come out for this like
investor dinner but god, that'sactually really.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
That's amazing, yeah, especially after you were
sharing with me today about howyou were so spot on about the
wine and stuff you were tastinglike it's all coming to.
I hope it's fruit ish and it'soh, that's good that's good yeah
, it's really exciting.
Yeah, get back to the chaos now.
But I just really wanted toknow because I forgot, forgot
there's so many levels to thisshort trip.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Okay, I know so that was Halloween early evening.
So it's Halloween.
So what do I go out dress up infor Halloween?
But my Lara Croft costume, butwithout the Lara Croft hat and
braid.
Instead I put on devil ears ordevil horns, because that's all
I got, that's what you found inthe tomb.
That's what I found.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yeah, I raided the tomb no, you were sent to hell
after you fucked our friend.
Uh-huh, yeah.
And then you came back with thepigeons.
Yeah, did you fuck the devil.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Yes, I did.
But some of my favoritecostumes of the night were, okay
, my friend uh in our landlordaustin.
He dressed up not only as one,not only as two, but three
different characters, all fromMonsters Inc.
One was Boo the little girl.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Yeah, I'm very familiar with the movie.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
So the cute little nightgown right, Mm-hmm Two.
Okay, the nightgown was kind ofpulled up to the side to reveal
a banana hammock with a singleeye on it, mike wazowski mike
wazowski mike wazowski, I'mwatching you.
Is that what his booty hole lipsaid?
And then that would be greatnext year and then no, then he
(33:15):
had like a little clutch thatwas like the solely um fur, so
he was like all three characterswrapped in up into one, you
know I think he's like a subtlecreative person.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
He's not gonna put it in your face, but like that,
being able to put that togetheroh yeah, he'll surprise you.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
He's also very punny, yeah.
And then his partner, our otherlandlord, brian, my best friend
.
He was sadness from.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Inside Out, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
And he's like.
But I got a little bit of joyhere and he was just wearing
like a neon jockstrap, so inthat kind of like yellow joy
color, so like joy is coming outin the middle of sadness, I'm
just tickled and his partner,after you, described this
amazing outfit just his sadness,then it's out of context, it's
(34:03):
just yeah, looking hilarious, sogood okay love.
Yeah, any other like um, okay,yes, one more was this like
crazy encounter was with thisgirl.
Okay, you're a fan of horrormovies, right?
Speaker 2 (34:16):
yes, I love something that gives me anxiety.
Me too, too Caused by my ownhead.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Yes, yeah, it's like self-inflicted pain, you know.
It's just like, yeah, I havecontrol over this.
I love it.
Yeah, so have you seen themovie X or Pearl or Maxine?
It's a trilogy.
No Girl, this is like one of myfavorite horror series.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
It sounds like mammal names other than x yeah, earl
and maxine.
Yeah, maxine's, my name ismiddle name.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Continue okay, so she was the main character from uh,
maxine, uh, or it's this, it'sthe main character from all
three, but she, like, wasdressed up as the version from
the third movie, maxine.
And the crazy thing was I was,because I spotted it from across
the room.
I was like, oh, my God, you aredoing such a good job with this
(35:04):
costume, embodying Maxine'scharacter.
And we started talking.
And she lives in Pioneer Town,which is like the town over
towards Joshua Tree.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Wait, one of the Real Housewives said they owned that
.
Yes, right, it was like a movieset.
That's true.
Yeah, yeah, yeah you know.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
So um two years ago, instead of going to palm springs
and staying there, I stayed inum joshua tree for my birthday
and we went out in pioneer townone night and we were going to
this uh concert and uh at arestaurant venue.
It's kind of like a duo likerestaurant plus concert venue,
(35:47):
and it was like a three-hourwait to get in and my friend
pulls out a hundred dollar billand bribes one of the waitresses
to push like some tablestogether to get us uh seated so
that we can have dinner beforethis concert and she goes.
That was me shut up.
She's like I work at thatrestaurant.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
I work at that, she remembered you yeah was the
friend.
Well, she didn't remember mespecifically.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
But she remembered like getting bribed that night
because you told the story.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Okay, yeah, what I bet you just had, like your
brain exploded the amount ofcoincidences.
You weren't even supposed to bein Palm Springs.
Yeah, you went with people youdidn't like.
Yeah, oh my God.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Yeah, anyways, so that was Halloween, and then.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Did you have sex?
Yes, because I do want toallude to you cutting your
finger down to the bone and meoffering you surgical glue
before you went on this trip andI'm like, and you're like, no,
it's going to be fine.
I'm like what if you stick itin?
Speaker 1 (36:44):
someone's butthole?
I know I smashed my finger in aJimmy John's store.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Because Not the?
Not Jimmy John the man.
The restaurant, no, therestaurant.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Yeah but so is me exiting and smashing my finger.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
You can't be seen.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
I fucking love Jimmy John's.
I am not ashamed of it.
Thank you very much, yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
Yeah, so that's why I wanted to say that before you
start telling your sexcomplaints.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
I had a flesh wound on my finger and, yes, I was
very worried about fingeringsomeone and getting blood all
over it.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Not that you could be sharing anything, but because
you had your prep?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Yeah, because I had my prep, so you had sex that
night.
Yes.
With whom I went home at twoo'clock in the morning after
shutting down the bar, got intobed with my bedmate Nola.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Okay, thank God I had to mouth to you.
I was like, do not say theirname.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
And we proceeded to fornicate.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Was there penetration or was it just side?
Speaker 1 (37:42):
That night was foreshadowing, but that night
was just side Pisses me off.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Were you both like no , I can't.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
No.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Occupado.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
The first night we.
You wanted to explore eachother.
The first night we just madeout.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
The second night this is the second nightlloween
night is the second night oh sothe night that you were there
you cooked dinner you just madeout and you went to bed, yeah
okay, like a good night kissyeah yeah, and then you side
actioned halloween night at 2 amyeah okay then this is when it
gets juicy with Nola the nextday.
(38:21):
November 1st your birth month.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yeah, that's true.
Now we're into my birth month.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
Now we're getting lucky.
Yes, you're being celebrated.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Yeah, so the whole house goes to breakfast together
.
Everyone decides to go shoppingafter breakfast, but it's the
hottest day there and I do notwant to walk the streets, so I
decided to go home early.
I am so horny for some reason,probably because I only got side
action the night before.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
So that's like scratching an itch.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Right.
So I get home like I'm assumingit much earlier than everyone
else and I decided I'm going tojack off.
So I lay down in bed and put onsome porn and start jacking off
.
Did you have earphones in?
No, oh my god.
And then who walks in like fiveminutes later because, yes,
(39:10):
sorry, it takes me longer thanfive minutes you weren't even
like.
Oh, I was like lubed up oranything I was yeah, I was.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
You're like I was five minutes into the film who
walks in, but nola, what are youdoing?
Speaker 1 (39:27):
I literally was like, oh my god, is that what you
said?
Like how do you know?
Okay, so nola walks into theroom and I'm like like, do you
want to help me out?
Oh no, I'm so embarrassed, I'mso glad you're here and he's
like yeah, I can't figure thisthing out.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
I've never done it before.
I keep trying.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
I don't know Anyways.
So anyways, we take it to thebathroom.
You in the fucking showers,yeah.
And then we went to town.
You had sex, mm-hmm sex.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Did you top or bottom ?
Now I know what you're thinking.
Why did you cut us off?
We were in.
We're there, we're ready for it.
We're ready for the story.
I promise you it's not as juicyand interesting as you think it
is.
We decided that we're going togive you a twofer, so we are
interrupting this end of anepisode to give you regular
(40:17):
scheduled programming.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, here in the studio.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
We like to do it your way, but don't get crazy.
We wanted to come back with alittle victory advice for this
episode, to kind of hold you off, you know, to keep you coming
back for more, and I think thatwe should just quickly pop in
and give a quick victory advice,because our lives have been so
fruitful that's a call out toearlier in the episode so
(40:41):
fruitful here lately that Ithink that we have some pretty
decent victory and vices thisweek.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Yeah, so stay tuned for next week's episode, where
you can find the answer to thequestion of did I top or bottom?
Speaker 2 (40:55):
And we finally correlate feeling social anxiety
in a gay setting.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
You're not going to get any of that on this episode
but next week you shall yeah so,kyle, okay, my victory of the
week is that, after spending 45minutes on the phone with
seattle city lights, I thoughtthat we were gonna have a three
thousand dollar utility billthat we haven't paid in six
months since we moved in sincewe moved in in may.
(41:20):
Um, but my victory is that wedo not have to pay a three
thousand dollar utility bill,that we only have a three a
thousand dollar utility bill.
So, um, it was just a hugerelief off my back and hopefully
everyone else is back in umthis house.
I've had the best luck withphone calls recently and saving
(41:44):
a lot of money.
So one I saved $2,000 on thephone today.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
And it benefited me.
So I like that one the best yousupport.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Okay.
I also called my wirelesscarrier and I got $20 knocked
off my bill after threatening tocancel.
Let me just say that that's thebest way to save money from
whoever your wireless carrier is.
They cannot do anything if youcall customer service, but if
you call and you say I need tocancel my plan, they will do
(42:16):
anything to save the plan.
That's a hot tip.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
We also learned that we're both with Verizon, so we
should just get on a joint plan,a family plan, yeah that's next
on my list.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
The other thing that I did is I got $200 a month
knocked off my health insurancebill.
Isn't that insane?
I don't know if I wouldpersonally share the fraud that
I'm committing on the internet,but, kyle, what I love is that
we have such few people thatlisten to this episode right
you're probably going to be safeyeah, um, okay, then my vice of
the week is that okay, I am sixweeks into my w set, level two,
(42:54):
somalia training, and can youtell people what that means?
Yes, yes.
So basically, I go two hours aweek to Issaquah to taste a
bunch of wines and learn aboutdifferent varietals, where they
come from, the climate that theygrow in, the different flavor
(43:15):
characteristics that theyexpress and how they're blended,
what you know.
Certain regions are known for amillion different things and I
kind of thought that it wasgoing to be easy and I wasn't
going to need to study.
But we're finally six weeks inand I'm like shit, I haven't
studied a single day outside ofclass and I really need to like
dive in and start studying, um,otherwise I'm not going to pass
(43:38):
my test and get my certificate.
So I'm only like two weeks awayfrom my exam and I'm kind of
stressing out that I haven'tstudied that much other than
drinking wine while recording apodcast.
Okay, what are your victory andvices of the week, caleb?
Speaker 2 (43:54):
I'm going to just share an ongoing run on sentence
of a thought that I have, and Ithink it contains victory and
vices.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Okay, is it two and one or?
Speaker 2 (44:04):
We'll see.
Okay, We'll see.
So while you and David weregone, you know you were in Palm
Springs and David Was in Idaho.
Oh, that's where he went.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Anyway, regardless, I was here by myself and I
haven't had a weekend alone.
Five bedrooms, all to yourself,yes, and I slept on the couch
one night.
I just fell asleep there, but Ithink I, especially with my job
and then just like reallyfeeling the pressures of like oh
, I need to go and be social orI need to go and do this.
It's really like distracted mefrom being like in tune with
(44:41):
like what I actually want to goand be social or I need to go
and do this it's really likedistracted me from being like in
tune with, like, what Iactually want to go and do and
not go and do.
So definitely the vice of thisis, while you were gone, um, a
lot of the people that I lovethe most and that I kept, that
really kept me here in seattle,were my travelers friends, and
there were several of us thatstill live here seattle working
staff jobs.
She had a last minute, likefriendsgiving, the same day that
(45:06):
we were supposed to go tohalloween party, like that we do
with another traveler's friendsto host it, and I backed out of
the um, her going awayfriendsgiving and then you had
no plans other than passing outon the couch.
Yes, okay, but I and I I think Ieven mentioned this to you like
(45:27):
I enjoy doing certain things,but I feel like all I've been
doing a lot lately is like doingthings for others and I think
that a lot of that has to dowith my job like doing things I
don't want to do and like notlike just like having the
bandwidth or free time to go,like explore what Caleb would
enjoy or feel naturally drawn to.
So I felt so much guilt to whereI almost got talked into going
(45:50):
because my friend Drew stayedwith me when he was in town to
go out and I decided to stay inand I still started feeling
really, really guilty.
But having that weekend aloneof just really hardcore
advocating for myself andknowing I'll probably let people
down, I realized it was waymore important for me to I don't
(46:12):
know, just be with myself andsit with myself, because there's
a lot of shit that has happenedthis year that I don't think
I've truly allowed myself toprocess.
You know, with moving, thebreakup, my mom all dying, just
I've really felt like I've beenmissing my family a lot.
There's just a lot of thingsthat I've just been distracting
myself with, work, trying tostay busy.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
And you took a minute to like take care of yourself,
and so it just.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
I crafted a shit ton.
I got to just go on deep divesin movies.
I like had pizza three nightsin a row.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
That's true.
Self-care right there.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
It is, but it just it just felt nice to really feel
like I'm, like I was on my owntimeline and I think that it
kind of gave me a good resetyeah think that it kind of gave
me a good reset, yeah, and thenit caused this whole like
thought process that if I thepeople that are going to stay in
your life and be your constantsupporters, even if you do
(47:08):
something that could have anegative outcome or affect them,
if they would truly care aboutyou and your well-being, if
you're doing like if I, you know, had to do work or like I just
really needed some alone time,they're not going to hold it
against you and I don't know whyit's taken me so long to
connect those realizations.
So my advice was this heavy,heavy guilt that I felt like I
(47:31):
didn't go, but I think byfeeling that and ending the
weekend with such a positiveinternal connection with myself
kind of helped offset that.
So it was the action of stayinghome was my vice, but also a
victory, because I showed up formyself, which I haven't done in
a long time.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
And it's kind of nice to know that, like people are
going to like show up for youand support you being the best
version of yourself, even if itmeans taking time away from them
and, um, maybe not making thebest choice in their minds, but
the them knowing that you'redoing something that's right for
(48:13):
you, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
Right and I the way I think of it is like if someone
showed up to work and all theycould do is half ass and that
was their best that day.
To me, it's way more importantfor you just not to be there.
Do some work on yourself and bealone with yourself and come
back authentically.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
Take a personal wellness day yeah, or a weekend,
or a personal day yeah, or aweekend, yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:38):
Okay, to make this a little bit more funny, because I
was heavy, I do want to justmention advice I know that some
of the girly pops on here haveseen these onion boils on the
tiktok oh my god, you showed me,I've shown you like six or
seven times and I'm just like ohmy god, they just look so good
it's like kind of like ablooming onion right, but like
without the deep fried part.
Yes, and it's gonna make meemotional?
(48:59):
Not really, because do you knowthat you have to bake it in the
oven for an hour?
So somehow after time sauteingall the other shit, hard boiling
eggs, but making sure they'renot too cold in the ice bath so
it can still warm back up, I putthem over basmati rice and I
spent like so much money on allthese different spices.
Kyle, it tasted awful, oh no.
(49:24):
And to call back to one of thethings you previously said about
your probiotics, I had theworst gas.
I've never been woken up by ascent, yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:36):
Was it the eggs or the onions?
Speaker 2 (49:39):
All the seasonings on top of it, was it the eggs or
the onions?
All the seasonings on top of it.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
I literally had to come downstairs to get a glass
of water.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
To cleanse my palate.
I had to sleep with only a topsheet on, because I'm not
trapping that in there.
Did it blow off the sheet?
I almost would much rather havean experience of me shitting my
pants in the car again than tohave to go through what I went
through last night.
Wow me constantly farting andme constantly waking up between
(50:05):
my crazy ass fucking chantixdreams uh-huh, it was just a
wild ride were you in hell andthere was some like fire and
brimstone and a dragon and oneof them.
I'll share quickly.
Then we have to end um, I'mdefinitely afraid of
rattlesnakes any snakes ingeneral, and I had one and I'd
go back to sleep and it wouldliterally start where the last
(50:27):
dream left off and it woke me upsix times in one night wow,
yeah, not just your farts oh,also, my victory is I could it
could be that I was cocky and Iwent on a go-kart racing date
with someone who actually likeraces cars and I won two out of
the three races.
That's your victory.
Yeah, I listed a lot.
Oh, you have a lot of victoriesand races.
(50:47):
Well, they can decipher.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
All right.
So if you guys want to shareyour Halloween stories, please
write in to our email atunfamouslyunwell, at gmailcom.
Follow us on Instagram atunfamouslyunwell at gmailcom.
Follow us on Instagram atunfamouslyunwell and send us a
text with your victories andvices, your fun Halloween
stories.
We want to know what you werefor Halloween, what you dressed
(51:11):
up as and any crazy stories thatyou had along the way.
And other than that, we'll seeyou next week for regular,
scheduled programming.
Hashtag to be continued Untilnext week.
Speaker 2 (51:25):
We wish you well.
Boo, I was going to say raidsome tombs or something.
Speaker 1 (51:32):
Well, not too.
Thanks for listening to anotherepisode of Unfamously Unwell,
the unrated podcast hosted byyour two favorite Seattle
homosexuals on a journey tohigher health.
Listen each week as we deepdive into a new topic and give
you all the dirty details of oursuccesses and failures along
the way.
Speaker 2 (51:48):
You can send us your questions, feedback or share
your own victory advice bywriting to unfamouslyunwell at
gmailcom or by clicking the linkat the bottom of the
description to shoot us a text.
We'd love to hear from you andshare your stories on the pod.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
We'll see you back here next week for another un.
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