Women Entrepreneurs: From Over-Serving to Self-Leadership (Heal Your Inner System, End Burnout)

Are you serving everyone but yourself? In this episode, Dr. Naleeni Partrap—an intuitive business coach and pharmacist—joins Kathy to unpack how inner system leadership (inspired by IFS principles) helps women entrepreneurs end burnout, set clean boundaries, and grow with ease.

We break down the “good girl” myths that fuel over-giving, why tactics fail without nervous-system alignment, and how to reassign the parts running your hustle (the Pleaser, the Perfectionist, the Firefighter). Expect practical prompts to upgrade your pricing, capacity, and energy—so your business stops taking from you and starts sustaining you.

Connect with Dr. Naleeni Partap at Instagram at The Being Institute or LinkedIN 

Explore more from Kathy at kathybaldwin.me and grab her books: Unlearn the Crap & Level UP: Your Soul is Calling and How I Unlearned MY Crap and the last of the trilogy The Unlearned Life (Amazon + bookstores).

Listen, share, and leave a review—your voice grows this movement. Show notes include Dr. Neela’s links and resources.

🎙️ Key Highlights

• Guest’s “Crap to Unlearn:” The world taught her to serve; her soul asked her to receive. People-pleasing, over-giving, and ignoring her own boundaries were glamorized—until she learned to lead her inner system (think: parts, beliefs, nervous system) and run a business from wholeness, not urgency.

• Kathy’s Tie-In: Kathy connects this to unlearning conditioned responses that keep women hustling for validation—then rebuilding success on aligned habits, self-trust, and clean systems.

• Context: We touch on Internal Family Systems (IFS) ideas and why inner self-leadership is the missing operational backbone for sustainable entrepreneurship.

• Relatable Signs & Patterns: Chronic burnout, resentment after “doing everything right,” fuzzy boundaries, under-pricing, perfectionism, stop-start marketing, and “I’ll rest when…” loops.

• Myths We Bust: “Service means self-sacrifice,” “Hustle is the only path,” “Emotions don’t belong in business,” and “Strong women don’t need help.”

• Action Step: Start an Inner System Audit: identify your over-functioning parts (the Saver, the Hustler, the Pleaser), give them new roles, and make one boundary or pricing upgrade this week.

• Guest CTA: Learn more about Dr. Neela’s inner-system coaching for women entrepreneurs (link in show notes).

💡 Memorable Quotes

• Dr. Neela: “We have to know that the Self lives within us—our parts aren’t bad; they just need leadership.”

• Dr. Neela: “You can’

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Welcome to Unlearn the Crap TV with your host,
Kathy Baldwin. Unlearn the Crap TV is more than
just a show. It's a movement towards breaking free from the
disempowering structures designed to benefit the few at
the expense of the many. It's about education,
healing, and unlearning the detrimental beliefs that have

(00:23):
been ingrained in society for generations. So now please welcome
the host of Unlearn the Crap tv, Kathy Baldwin.
Foreign welcome
to another episode of Unlearn the Crap and level
up, your soul is calling. I'm your host,
Kathy Baldwin. And on Unlearn the Crap

(00:47):
we discuss all of what is in
our way. With the acronym of CRAP
being conditioned responses, automatic programming that changes
our beliefs, our thoughts, our feelings,
which because we are in an interconnected,

(01:07):
interrelated body, also affects
our physical aspects. And so
that crap is also a physical excrement that
must really leave our bodies, otherwise it becomes
poison through our lymphatic system, our biochemistry

(01:29):
of our hormones, our stress responses, our central nervous system,
and even our gut microbiome. Because everything
we say, do, feel, experience matters.
And so I am so excited for
this conversation because our

(01:52):
guest today, Dr. Nalini Partrap.
She is the beautiful blend
of science and spirituality
and business. And when I first met
her and saw how she was integrating her life
and her mission the same way that the Unlearn the

(02:15):
crap principles are, that we are all interrelated,
I knew we had to have this conversation.
Welcome. I am so excited that you're here.
Thank you, Kathy, for that beautiful introduction.
And the crap that I had to unlearn to

(02:35):
be here with you today was that there are parts of me
that believe that there are parts of me that are bad, wrong or
unlovable. When these parts came, it meant that
I had to hide them in order to belong. It also led to the
belief that now I must perform, please or perfect

(02:56):
myself in order to be deserving and worthy
of the love, success, basically anything
I wanted. There was a barrier that I had to now overcome to get to
where I want to be. Yeah. Oh, there's so much that we're
going to talk about. There's so much that I think we have lived experience in.

(03:17):
And I can't wait to go deeper into this conversation.
But before we do, could you please introduce
yourself to our audience? Tell them who you are,
how you serve now that you've unlearned that crap
and you've leveled up. Yes. So I'm Dr.
Nalini Prathop. I'm an intuitive business coach. And a pharmacist.

(03:42):
And the way I serve is I help women entrepreneurs align
and harmonize their internal systems. The parts within themselves
that are usually in conflict, like the ones that want to rest,
are the ones that want to push. And in aligning
this inner system, what I help them do is create external

(04:03):
results that are sustainable and rooted in their
being. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
We need every single one of us to
step into our zone of genius. And people like you who
can help them get there. I applaud you and I'm so excited to
have you here. Before we get started,

(04:26):
I scoped out your Instagram account and
I love your quotes, and there were so
many in there that I want to talk about. But the one I want to
begin with is you said the world taught
you to serve, but your soul is

(04:46):
asking you to receive. Could you expand
on that? And where did you come up with that amazing gem?
You had to have learned it. Yes,
definitely. That is a lived experience. And the ponderings that I
do and the reflections I do led to that realization. But being

(05:06):
Indo Fijian, growing up in a culture that is rooted
in serving and giving, which is a
part that I'm very proud of, I love
the part that we are giving. But there is a part when you give,
and there is no boundary or barrier that knows where
you end and others start. There can be an emphasis on over giving,

(05:29):
and you start giving and giving, and especially if you've internalized messages
that there's parts of you that are bad and wrong. Now you're giving,
but you're not okay receiving. So there's that imbalance between the two.
So you end up serving, depleting yourself.
Your energy is being depleted, but it's not being replenished because you
yourself are internally blocking yourself because you don't feel deserving or worthy.

(05:54):
How was that lived for you? How did you get
this epiphany?
It started from my realization as a pharmacist.
One day I stepped back and I said, noticed that I was very
depleted by the end of the day. And it was because of the.
I worked in a retail setting and, you know, I loved my

(06:17):
patients, but it was constant. I was always giving. Everyone needed
something from me. And it got to the point that I was being pulled in
so many different directions, and I internally could not
take it. I started realizing, wait, there's something wrong here. I'm over giving
and I'm becoming so depleted by the end. And without understanding

(06:39):
that I need to receive and replenish myself, I just kept Getting stuck
in the cycle of burnout. And I looked around in my
family systems as well. I was always the one willing to give and I
want to be giving more, you know, being there for people, but telling
everyone, I'm fine, I'm okay, you know, not really willing to receive. Not that

(07:00):
they wouldn't give it. It was, I was like, I'm fine, everything's good with me.
And so that's when it's, I was like, wait, there is something off
here that I must look deeper into. And so it led me on this journey.
So in a retail environment, which that
is part of my history and it's probably part of many

(07:23):
people's history and what we've been through,
you're not going to get that balance back from
your customers because it's transactional. The whole
system is designed as transactional, not experiential,
not transformational. It's just, here's money,

(07:45):
here's service or product.
How were you being treated by management,
by your co workers? Is that where the
burnout was coming from? It wasn't
actually. Was the norm, it had become the norm. It wasn't like we

(08:05):
were treated badly. If you could look at it from the sense of energetic imbalance,
yes, I would say the treatment was not in alignment with the exchange of
energy, but it was so normalized that that's what you do when you show up.
You give, you give and you give to your patients. You're there for them.
And it was a culture that's rooted in almost

(08:26):
like forgetting yourself to the point where you're there for other people.
And you know, it's constant movement and very much profit
based in a sense that, you know, we are, we are numbers driven,
but also we care about our patients to the point that we stay,
stop what we're doing and we look after them. So it

(08:46):
can be seen in a way of being both patient centered to
your expense, but also that we're here to serve and have
outcomes driven. So there's a need to perform as
well to be a business. It's a business at the end of the day,
to be a sustainable business as well. Yeah,

(09:06):
and unfortunately you are right. Our business has
been built on profit over people and
it has been built on us giving
this manual labor of constantly
give, give, give. And we're supposed to be getting

(09:31):
our fill when we go home to our regular life.
But what happens is by the time we get home,
we have the demands of our, whether it's
our families, our marriages, or even our home environment
feeding us Dinner. I mean, making dinner every night
has become a major stressor for so

(09:54):
many people. How did
it affect you? Because for me,
that statement that you made on your Instagram
that you didn't know it was burnout because you thought it
was normal, that was me too. And I bet there

(10:15):
are millions of millions of people who don't
know the signs of what burnout looks like.
Yeah. So same thing. Very depleted. Not knowing how
to replenish myself was another point that I
think led to the burnout as well. But luckily I lived in extended family,

(10:36):
so the food was always made. You know, I didn't necessarily have to go home
and cook, but I still felt like there was, you know, the cleanup around the
house. There was always things to do with my daughter, so always staying,
constantly busy. My thing was like, oh, no, the day at work has ended,
but there's more to do in life. I got to keep going and going.
So that part about resting and being able to take

(11:00):
time out for myself, not there at all.
Yeah. Did you actually burn out and break down?
Yes. Yes. It led to me really having
a lot of resentment at first. It was like resentment at, you know, the job,
the system. I was like, oh, it's. It's my job. If I change this job

(11:22):
and a better management or something different, it would lead to.
It would help me, but I would switch jobs that it would not lead
to what I wanted. And then I realized, wait, we're all part of the system.
I cannot just change jobs and hop it.
I'm still in the same system. But I also realized

(11:43):
that at some point, some that
I needed to look deeper within because why is it that I felt like I
need to keep pushing? Why am I not giving myself rest? So the question started
arising where I had to step back, and especially at work.
I was literally getting panic attacks being there because I

(12:04):
was so burnt out and not replenished that I could not sustain the amount of
input coming in. It was just too much. And I was like, well, my system
cannot take it anymore and I need to step back. And that was the sign
when I said something was wrong here. I need to step back and
really look into this. Did you actually take time off?

(12:25):
I did. I started by reducing my hours.
I was very fortunate that I didn't have to work all five days,
like a 40 hour work week. I slowly started cutting down and
looked into ways, you know, I got into the coaching world
and started hiring my own coach and looking
into different ways to work with myself. And that's where I

(12:48):
started seeing this is something that deserves attention
because I was using my mind, but never seeing the
impact of my mind and the influence of my. In the
work I was doing. So that's when I was like, my mind,
my thoughts, my feelings, they deserve a space. So that's what led

(13:08):
to this. Yeah. I wanted
to ask you because anyone who has been a part of
the Unlearn the Crap story, whether reading my books or listening
to the podcast, knows that my breakdown was complete
and utter. I had a full mental breakdown.

(13:30):
I had a full emotional breakdown. My body broke down so I couldn't
even walk. What was happening with me was I was
going to the doctor with symptoms. I didn't know about
stress. I didn't know about mental health as far
as anxiety or depression or any of these things,

(13:51):
but I felt the effects. It was being created into fibromyalgia,
not being able to sleep, constant fatigue.
And what the medical system did was
gave me a different pill every time I went with this.
I can't sleep or my body hurts or. Or I

(14:14):
have no joy in my life. I'm flatlining all these things. I just got
another pill. And I went from someone who never, ever took
anything to taking handfuls of pills
where there was different side effects
for each one. And the combination of that cocktail

(14:36):
that I was on led to my full breakdown
because my system was now not only
dealing with the symptoms, but now my body was breaking down from all these chemicals
that were trying to deal with it. How much of
that do you see as a pharmacist in

(14:58):
our system, and were you affected by that?
Yeah, in the system. I have seen patients who are on medications
and in talking to them, as you build relationships with. With them,
you don't really see the change in symptoms to the point where they're saying,
okay, now I feel like I've some do. It's not saying that every step
for everybody, but the trend I started seeing is we're taking pills, but we're never

(15:21):
getting to the root cause. It's not really solving the root of what's
happening here. And that's what really triggered me to not
go that route. For me personally, I did not want, even though I was having
panic attacks and even though I was. Wasn't able to sleep
at night, was going to work. Very fatigued,
angry and resentful would be the other one. It was just this sense of,

(15:45):
like, anger about what is happening. Why can't I figure this out? You know,
I'm supposed to be successful. I have done Everything to be successful.
Why does success look like this? So that, that just didn't
feel right. But in the sense that I started seeing that
we are, to a certain extent, you know, not obviously 100% to
a certain extent, we are masking symptoms instead of solving the root

(16:09):
of what is happening. And being a spiritual person.
I, to me, everything went back to, you know, what,
what is the spiritual cause? What is happening at an energetic level. And I
wanted to dive more deeper into that realm.
Oh, that's really interesting because I
took it different.

(16:30):
I used my skills in business,
my, my ISO background,
my, you know, all of these business symptoms
are. Sorry, all of these business systems.
And I re engineered myself back to
health and wellness by going to root cause, just like I would do with a

(16:53):
business where you would have corrective action and you would, you know, figure out what
was wrong and then work our way back. And you used it
through spirituality. Tell me more about that process.
Yeah, so I've been spiritual all my life,
and I'm Hindu by religion, but very in line with
the Vedas and the spiritual concept of us all being consciousness

(17:17):
as supreme. There's a supreme consciousness, that which we are all part
of, but more in depth that one of the qualities of it,
you know, this consciousness is alive. It's love, it's,
it's in all of us. So there's a part of us that, you know,
is connected to the supreme. And when
I, from my understanding of reading everything is when there is a disconnect from

(17:40):
that source, that love, that acceptance
and guidance and truth. When there's a disconnect,
we are led into disease,
disharmony. That's where the root cause is. We have lost connection
with our truth of who we are. So we forget
that we're spiritual beings having a human experience. We think we're human and

(18:05):
that's, you know, and then being human means that certain things are okay
and certain things are not okay. When in spirituality it's a realm of duality
that all exists. It's all part of consciousness. The good, the bad,
the right, the wrong. And it all has a space. And putting that
perspective in, I started delving into like, what, what is happening? Why am

(18:26):
I upset? Okay, I don't like something, so I'm trying to reject it.
Why am I rejecting it? Who's rejecting it? What's happening?
Who am I? I think the question to who am I? Led me very deep
into understanding that I'm not one. There's many within me.
There are parts within me which led into the work of IFS informed

(18:47):
coaching with Dr. Richard Schwartz, and he
recognized that, working with his patients,
that we all have different parts within us. But apart from all these parts,
there's a self that he says is in alignment with spiritual
traditions that is calm, present, curious,
compassionate, that we are not giving ourselves access to internally,

(19:11):
which is leading to this dishwarmony. Yes,
I absolutely love the fact that you have
such a strong spiritual basis, but that
you also have the scientific. The chemical of
our physics with the chemistry

(19:31):
of being a pharmacist, which is connected to the
medical system, which is the physical body.
That's the thing that absolutely astounded
me, was you were so full circle.
How did that manifest positively

(19:52):
for you or how did it go against
you? Like, yeah,
very logical, you know, so I have both sides.
Like. Like you're saying I'm very logical and very spiritual. So my first
thing is trying to solve things and using my logical mind in the realm,
in the scientific way. But usually that led to me

(20:16):
blaming or holding myself responsible for
everything and then thinking that there was no way out. I was getting trapped in
my own logic of, you know, the reasoning that I was in there. That's when
I realized, okay, I need to borrow something beyond this because it's
leading to more. It was like,

(20:36):
you could see I was hurting more instead of healing more. So it was that
transition. But also, I've also introduced the work of Sarah
Payton and emergent constellations, which introduces a concept that we
are all part of a family system. There's internal
systems that can be placed on a field. It's a fascinating concept, but what it

(20:58):
does, it combines neuroscience, and I'm big on neuroscience. Yes. Give me the
proof. Give me how the amygdala does what's happening in the prefrontal
cortex. Those words, like, give me a solid foundation of,
okay, what I'm doing is rooted in science. So there is a good combination.
So I have that to build on it.

(21:18):
Tell me more about that. Yes.
So emergent constellations comes about in a
way that. It shows that when we have
experiences, certain experiences in our life where we do not feel that we were
accompanied, which means that we were seen and heard for what.

(21:40):
What has happened, or we were not attuned
to, that someone can feel into what is happening for us or
resonated with. They use language. Language is big. There's a way to.
We were not spoken to. It can lead to.
To trauma, which is in a way that blocks. Which. Which literally

(22:00):
blocks ourselves at certain stages in life, in our amygdala,
but using resonance and emergent constellations what work,
it causes shifts in. So it's not trauma
healing in the sense of therapy, which is a totally different realm. All this is
doing is introducing another way
of representation where you can see here and be

(22:24):
able to create shifts in the system. Because we
don't work in separation. We're relational beings, and whatever has happened to
us has happened in a relational setting. And, you know, not to
put blame on whoever, you know, caused it.
Yes, there is blame, but at some level, we were all unconscious.
It's been happening to us from generations because we were unconscious of

(22:48):
what's happening, to become conscious and to own that we
are part of a system and how we matters. But now their system
is internalized. That's what ifs internal family systems
does. And emergent constellations says that we have internalized
the system. So there's not just a doubter in us. There's a doubter there for

(23:08):
a reason. There's a critic that's constantly, you know,
putting the doubter in its place. Or there's some, you know,
there's different parts of us. And if you map these systems out and learn to
bring in attunement, presence, harmony, give them space
to be seen and heard. And as Richard Schwartz
says, there are no bad parts, you know, so recognize

(23:31):
that there are no bad parts. We can harmonize these and gain their
wisdom. They were saying things that are important and they had value
for our lives. Absolutely. I love this because
I believe that everything is just data.
It's just information. And we live in

(23:52):
a world of duality. And sometimes it requires us
to have the mirror to show us what we don't
want to see in order for us to turn around and.
And change direction. Because we have
to know where we are in order to know if we're

(24:13):
going in a direction that is serving us. And so if we
take all this information, which we can label as trauma,
or we can blame, or we can judge, or we can do all this,
or we can say, huh, this is what.
This is what's going on. This is what's happening. This is where I
am. And instead of us getting sick

(24:36):
because we're trying to normalize what's wrong and
what's disempowering and what's not working for us. And instead of taking that information
and saying, turn around, go the
polar opposite, or change your perspective by using the universal
law of relativity. That's my language, but I

(24:57):
hear you saying it in this familiar language,
which I think Is so comforting because we're all saying the same thing, aren't we?
Yes, we are. We are. And in my world, the way I say it is,
we're just. There's just parts of us that's just forgotten who
we are, that we are, that there's a source that we're connected to.

(25:19):
And we. All we're doing is trying to build that relationship
to that source, that compassionate love. At the end of the day, day, we all
just want space to be seen, heard, and loved and accepted for who we
are. The critic in us, the sabotager in
us. However you want to name the different parts of us, each one of us
is just looking for that compassion. And when you can sit back

(25:43):
and see, even when I have anger and I'm angry towards
myself for having that anger and I think it's bad, I can still love
each part of me because that compassion and love that I
am, it's. It's unaffected by trauma. It's unaffected by anything that
never changes. It's eternal. And the love and the compassion we give ourselves

(26:05):
and hold ourselves with, it transforms our lives.
It heals us. It heals us internally and externally.
Absolutely. But if we have not been taught
what self love looks like, if we have not
been taught any of these things and now

(26:25):
we go looking for a pill for an ill,
let's transition. You are now
an intuitive business coach.
You again are matching the spiritual
with the intuition with the
physical world manifestation of

(26:48):
business left brain, the these
masculine structures with the feminine and the intuition.
You are just so amazingly holistic
with that w beginning. How do you work
with people? What does an intuitive business coach

(27:09):
look like? Yeah, so it's creating space.
So very intuitive.
Not agenda based. It's just in the moment space that I create
with my women entrepreneurs. The space is designed for
holding safety. Now I can hold safety, but that

(27:31):
doesn't mean the client that comes feels safe. But it's a relationship
we build where they start learning to feel safe, safe with it. But what I
do is my goal is to help them introduce themselves to their self.
The self with the S that is compassionate,
caring, calm, curious.
With the other parts. With the other parts. So when overwhelm

(27:54):
comes up, instead of like, oh my gosh, I'm in overwhelm and I'm stressed out,
you step back and you become curious as to. Oh,
overwhelms. Here. Welcome. What. What do you have to say for me
today? Where are you? Where do you live? In my body. So building that relationship
where they start seeing and mapping out different parts. So they learn
the internal structures of, let's say the launch failed.

(28:17):
And so what showed up, what parts showed up when the launch failed?
When they show up, what, where do they lead to? What actions do they
lead to? So we connect what's happening externally, very results
driven kind of world of business into the internal and
kind of work together to harmonize it.

(28:37):
Yes, yes, yes, yes. Our world is
in such a massive, massive paradigm
shift. Everything is changing. From our politics
to our education, to our government, our,
our family systems, our financial

(28:58):
systems. We now have digital currencies. I mean,
there's not an area of our world that isn't in
massive change and it's speeding
up. My belief is that we are
all being called to come back to self,
get away from those massive questions, corporate structures

(29:23):
where we are replaceable and duplicatable.
That's what our technology is there for. But the
human being is being called to follow their dreams and bring
their passion and their joy and their creativity and their innovation and
their imagination and their empathy and their love to the

(29:43):
world. And I believe that that is
bringing a rise of entrepreneurship to
the world. Is that what you're seeing as well?
I, yeah, I totally agree. That's the shift I'm seeing
as well. And I'm seeing that there is a step involved. Before we can bring
it to the world, we got to bring it to ourselves. We have to know

(30:06):
that the self lives within us, that these parts are not bad.
And getting that message out to more and more people
in general, that there, there are no bad parts of you.
There are parts that are designed, that were, that became systems to
protect you. When you didn't feel safe, it didn't feel loved. And it's
natural, of course you're going to protect yourself. It makes sense that

(30:30):
these things, systems were developed, but what they need, what they're
looking for, is love, compassion, understanding.
And we're searching outside. Someone validate me. Somebody give me
what I'm looking for. Let me work harder enough to earn it. But actually you
have it within you. That source is within you. And if

(30:50):
we all take that time to learn how to access that source
and replenish ourselves, when we are replenished, we show up
differently to our business, to our worlds. And one person at a time,
it starts shifting. And Dr. Richard Short said this
best, this IFS is in the world of therapy.

(31:11):
So he's given the way to go complete with it in
therapy. But for coaches, there's a step we stop at and we say,
okay, up to there still powerful, makes very big
transitions. But if they need more, then it's a referral to therapy.
But he said he wanted to introduce this to the world of
computer coaches so we can access the entrepreneurs, the leaders that are parts of these

(31:34):
systems so we can start bringing the self energy. And the self
is contagious. If the leader is in self, it starts spreading.
And imagine what the world would become if all
our leaders started to be in self. Absolutely,
absolutely. That is my dream and my fantasy.
Because I believe that if every, every single person was

(31:58):
living a full aligned life,
living with their passions and their in peace
and bringing their gifts and special magic
to the world, there would be no room for hate or war or
famine or racism or any

(32:21):
of these other things that are bubbling to the surface right now.
That it's external reflection
of an internal rejection. We've rejected ourselves so much, created so much
inner hatred and separation that it's now being reflected globally in,
you know, the whole, the collective consciousness, as you can say.

(32:45):
And yes, I share that dream with you and I can
see that when we are at peace, one person at a time,
the world becomes at peace. Yes.
So how do you help women find their magic?
Because I believe that everything that we have learned and gone through

(33:06):
in our lives is designed to show us our
zone of genius. And sometimes it shows up in the
polar opposite of our challenges or our pains.
But sometimes it's just a tweak or
a little nudge, a change in perspective.
How do you help them find? Because women are

(33:28):
the driving force that is coming into this world.
But yet we are still only paid
69 cents to a male dollar.
To the way I help them find it is introducing
them to the parts and the self. I. We do the process of introduction

(33:51):
to. Hey, this, it's a separation. This is for
so many of us and me included. I believed I was
bad, as in the whole of me is bad. But when you get introduced to
this work, you see, oh, it's a part of me that's bad. Okay, if the
part is bad, who's the one that's observing this part? And that's the
self. Like, welcome, here's yourself. The self

(34:14):
just doesn't observe. It has qualities, it's compassionate, it's loving.
And each, each time we meet, you get to know the self more and more.
And you're like, okay, wait a minute. I am overwhelmed. Yes, I'm feeling
bad, but maybe this part. I know what this part needs. It needs myself.
So I know where to go now. So it's giving them direction as to know.
Understand that at the root of it is they're needing the self to guide them,

(34:37):
to lead them. And we give that inner self leadership to these women.
When they have inner self leadership, they know not to solve
for their emotions or their behaviors. Externally first, it starts
internally, let the self lead. Then we ask the self, okay, from the
self, what do I do now? What is the next step now?

(34:57):
So apart responding and the self responding, it's a
very different response. And do you find that
women come to you in a business environment understanding
that they need to go inward, that all the answers are
within themselves? Or do they, do they

(35:21):
come to you and say, just give me another tool, another strategy and stay
masculine? Right. It usually starts with give
me another tool, another strategy. Unless they've done this work or have read
up on it and are starting to see, wait a minute, it's an internal
system that I need to work on first, not my business system,

(35:41):
externally, me, internally first. So it's a transition. But wherever
they are, I meet them. If it is a tool, I ask why? What part
of you wants the tool? Let's talk to that part and why. And as we
had developed that relationship, they start seeing
that shift in perspective as they align more with the self and saying,
oh, wait, I'm just trying to protect myself here. And what is it leading to?

(36:05):
The outcome I want, is it serving me? And then with that awareness, they start
saying, oh, wait, let's, let's check back in what part
is leading here? So we want to be. They start learning that am
I being parts led or am I being self? And then they'll automatically
want to be self led because it just feels good to be loving, compassionate and

(36:25):
kind to yourself and give everyone space inside of you.
Absolutely. I love the analogy. It's one
that I've used for many, many years, that we can't look
at the scale and get angry at the number that
pops up and then just keep focusing
in on that number to make it change, to make our body

(36:49):
a different scale size, to make our body a different health, we must
go inward first and, and deal with what we're putting into
our body. Our food, our beverage,
but our thoughts, our feelings, our stress,
all of it, all of it is what changes the results.

(37:09):
It does. And I think part of the reason, in my experience,
what I've seen is I just never felt safe with my motions.
It just felt overwhelming and too much. So doing this in small shifts,
not like we got to go all in, all at once. It's a small shift,
makes I think gives you that reassurance that we're not going to open
up can of worms or big volcano. Is the small shifts that

(37:32):
we're going towards. Or also that there are no bad
parts. If you can keep remembering there are no bad parts. Everything has a message.
All it wants is the self. It's looking for the self. If you can just
keep rephrasing yourself and reminding yourself of that,
the journey becomes a little easier. More willingness to
go internally. Because it's the fear. The fear. What am I going to find

(37:55):
inside? It's keeping us looking for external solutions. A lot
of the times. Yeah. Because the things that we're afraid
to look at are the things that we have been taught to judge.
Judgment is big. Yes. Judgment keeps us from accessing ourselves.

(38:15):
We. So even the judgment part of us,
it's probably the first one that needs the self, needs the compassion, the understanding
as to the reason why it's there. What is it protecting? What is it
doing? So when you learn to not judge the judgment, judge the judger
in you, you can start shifting more. Yes.

(38:37):
So let me talk to you about masculine
and feminine traits because we started with this conversation with
intuitive business coach. We've got the
masculine, we've got the feminine. The feminine is
the creator, the chaotic,

(38:57):
the ideas, the imagination. And when I say feminine,
I mean traits, not, not gender.
So those feminine qualities is
where all of the intuition and the business development
comes from. But it can't happen without

(39:18):
the strong masculine structures,
the safety, the foundations.
And I know for me, I am building all
of my foundational structures so that I have
the safety to be creative. Is that part of

(39:38):
what you do with clients? Yeah. And,
and actually I don't do it. When the self comes in, the self does
it themselves. The self knows which part needs to come
and be in. You know, it's not, I don't even see it as balance.
You're not wanting to balance the feminine and the masculine. It's just the self is
intuitive, it's all knowing and knows what is needed in this moment

(39:59):
for you to move towards what you want. So the next step is self directed.
And yes, it's, it's both, both has a space, it's, it's giving an
emergent constellation world because I'm so into my field, field work
now that everything deserves a space and it has a time and place to be
used. You don't overuse any of it. It has a strategic, almost a

(40:21):
sacred way of being used. So bringing sacredness to everything that
we're doing, even what we're speaking and the experiences
we're having is sacred. It's part of a sacred journey. Return to the self.
This makes me so happy. I did
not know that you were going to say this. I knew. Knew that I wanted

(40:45):
to have this conversation with you. The very first moment I met you, I knew
I wanted to go here. Because I have always said,
just like the wizard of Oz when Dorothy
got to the end and Linda the good witch said,
my dear, you've always had it within you.

(41:05):
It sounds to me that you are not one of these
coaches that says, I have the system.
Follow my system step by step, and you will be successful.
You are guiding your clients back to themselves.
Yes, exactly. And my best work is when

(41:26):
I know nothing about what you need. I know nothing what you need in your
business. I'm. I know that there is a self within, and I know how to
lead you back to yourself. And that is the work I do.
Oh, yes, because we all have that genius within
us. We all have the answers. It's only
the crap that's been piled upon us that needs clearing

(41:49):
out so that we can see the truth and see our soul and see
what we're really here for. Oh, my goodness. I'm getting goosebumps
that you are saying all the magic things that I.
I know. I know. Like, I know
this is what we're all being called for right now.

(42:13):
I do, too. I feel it's time for me to share this
with the world. I've done a lot of work, a lot of work to learn
and be in self and you know, know how to where we are
when we're not in self. To know what happens when you're in self and just
to transition. It's just a guide who walks you back home.
Yes. Like you said, I'm just a guide. I help you back home. And you

(42:35):
know, you're not alone. We're all doing this together. We are. It may seem like
we're on separate journeys, but at the heart of it, we're all returning to the
self. Yes. And when we return to
community and collaboration where
we reach out and ask for help. Because asking
for help is one of the most empowering

(42:59):
things that we can do. It is not a sign of weakness.
A sign of weakness is hiding from the things that we
don't know or we can't access or we can't see or whatever.
When we ask for help and look for guidance from someone like
you, it is the strongest, most empathy Empowering thing

(43:20):
we can do. Could you do all of us a favor?
Could you paint the picture of what
it looks like when you have a client who feels lost and confused
and is not getting the results they want and they come back
to themselves? What is the transformation?

(43:42):
It's a joy of being with yourself.
I think just seeing the self, it's like excitement. It's a sense
of like, wow, this was within me. That love, the compassion that I searched
for everywhere, the work and the effort I'm putting in
everywhere, I don't have to earn it. It's already within me. That's. That's just whole

(44:02):
realization in itself. But it's not like the, the worry,
the pain, any of this goes away. It's just someone is there to
hold it. And that someone is you. It's within, within you that holds your pain,
that holds your sorrow, but it also gives you permission to have
joy and happiness. Because now all these parts aren't bad.
So, yes, you're welcome to rest, you're welcome to have joy.

(44:25):
So it's a balance, it's an internal balance that just reflects a
success. Externally, it's just a reflection. Is what you will see outside.
Yes, yes. Part of the crap that we were taught is that we're
supposed to. To earn our joy.
We don't need to earn it, we just need to receive it, accept it.

(44:46):
Yeah. We need ourselves to show the self can show us
that you are always worthy of it. In your badness. When you're.
In your badness, whatever your bad is, if you're criticized too much
or I have anger and it's bad. If when your anger is met with love
and compassion, it's no longer bad, it's accepted. It's accepted into
the consciousness, into the this field. Every,

(45:10):
I believe every emotion that doesn't get expression is denied
access to the field, which is a loving space. And of course it's
going to hurt and it's going to cause you to. It's going to keep bubbling
up in symptoms. It's going to keep bubbling up and you know, in different ways
in your life because it's not getting the attention and love it wants and
everything it's deserving of. Absolutely. And it's not

(45:33):
going to go away. It stays within our body
until it is seen,
heard, and its message comes through. And if
it's trapped in our body, it's creating disease.
Yes, Yes. I think that's the key thing.
It's not going to go away. And the reason I struggle with

(45:55):
doing this work Alone because I was very resistant to getting any help from anybody
that it was. I felt like, oh, I'm smart enough, I could probably
figure this out. But if you haven't been shown compassion, if you haven't
been shown love, if you don't know that there's a self in here and how
it can what the relationship is, if you don't know how to build that relationship
with it, you can't. It's very, very difficult. I won't say impossible,

(46:18):
but I would say probably take you 15, 20 years to really,
I don't know how long to get get there. When there's
so it's not just me, there's so many of us doing this work that
can help you and guide you to, you know, be in that relationship.
You learn to have that relationship with yourself that reflects
in your relationship with money, with others. It's all the same. Everything is just a

(46:41):
relationship with yourself. Absolutely.
Absolutely. There have been a lot
of people who've heard you today who have
become inspired, who become educated,
who have thought, oh maybe,
maybe for me. And they want

(47:05):
to reach out to you. Who do you help and
how can they find you? Yeah, I help women entrepreneurs
who are ready to move out of the hustle, the burnout,
the self doubt that plagues them every day in their business.
Even if they've created success, it's from that place of hustle and they're ready to

(47:25):
receive the rest, love and abundance and start with giving it
to themselves. And above all, I love those spiritual women who want
to meet the self and be in relationship with the self and introduce it to
all their parts, you know, and you know and have it reflected in their life,
the joy and the love reflected in their while having space for
every emotion, the anger and you know, the good and the bad

(47:49):
and the way to find me two places I'm on Instagram at the
Beam Institute and also on LinkedIn at Dr. Nalini.
Beautiful. I will have the connections both
visibly on the video but as
well as in the show notes that anyone can reach. And I'm.

(48:10):
I am going to highly recommend
that anyone who is feeling called,
knowing that their soul is calling them to
level up, that they have something special, that they have
it already. That's why the calling is there. And all

(48:30):
they need to do is get rid of the crap that is hiding
them from, from their beauty, their soul and you can help
guide them to back to themselves because everybody
is in not entitled or I it
is entitled because we all belong in prosperity

(48:52):
and peace with passion and purpose and.
That'S at the heart of it. That is who we are and we all will.
What an amazing thing to know yourself, the truth of who you are,
not what you got conditioned to believe about yourself, but the truth about capable,
how powerful, how you know, like you can transform.

(49:13):
You can literally create your own reality because you have that power
within you to know that about yourself and to live it, to experience it.
Absolutely. Thank you so, so very much
for this time. Thank you for sharing your,
your wisdom, your experience, your optimism.
Thank you for doing the work you do.

(49:36):
Thank you for having me on here. It's been my joy and
pleasure. Again. If you are feeling called,
knowing that your soul is calling you to level up,
if you're struggling on the edge of burnout and breakdown,
if you know now is the time that each and

(49:56):
every one of us is being called to live our life of genius,
I encourage you to reach out to myself at Unlearnthecraft,
KathyBaldwin me or Dr.
Nalini and reach out and find the support
that you need. Remember to challenge
everything so that you can achieve anything.

(50:20):
Until next time, I'm Kathy Baldwin,
your host and this is Unlearn the crap and level up.
Your soul is calling. Thank you.
If this hit home, don't just listen. Level up.
Subscribe to the show, drop me a five star review or

(50:42):
share it with someone who's done playing small.
Then head over to my website,
KathyBaldwin Me. That's where the real magic
happens. You'll find my books, my podcast
and all the tools to help you reclaim your voice,
rewrite your patterns and level up

(51:04):
into the version of you that you have been waiting
for. Your soul isn't wasted whispering anymore,
it's roaring. And this is
just the beginning.