Think frustration is just anger? Think again. In this episode, Andrew Oxley breaks down the Four Faces of Frustration (Red, Yellow, Green, Blue) and hands you a simple filter for leading when emotions get loud. You'll discover why self-diagnosing under stress rarely works, how to run the people vs. task and speed up vs. slow down tests, and the one question every leader needs to ask: "What's it like to be on the other side of you?" We also tackle the difference between problems to solve and tensions to manage, the First Law of Problem-Solving, and a practical path to influence: serve the people you already have. Clear. Actionable. Memorable.
00:00 – Cold open & setup
03:07 – "The least frustrating interview" (ironic hook)
03:48 – Why frustration? Making complex ideas simple (Mark Twain shout-out)
05:55 – Are these literal faces? Not all frustration = anger
08:20 – The tour: Red (intense), Yellow (optimistic), Green (quiet), Blue (worried)
10:50 – How to know your face; why self-diagnosis fails
11:10 – Two quick axes: People vs. Task; Speed Up vs. Slow Down
17:40 – The question: "What's it like to be on the other side of you?"
18:44 – Why the book is a fable (story vs. lecture)
22:27 – How long it is and how to use it
25:56 – Can we eliminate frustration? Problems vs. Tensions
27:41 – First Law of Problem-Solving: long-running issues = you're managing, not solving
30:00 – Mission over paycheck: engaging younger teams without the doom loop
31:14 – Litmus test: "Is it effective?" and why leaders change first
33:35 – Where to get it: Amazon + free copy via live workshop (transformingresults.com)
34:16 – "Serve, serve, serve" and the real measure of influence
Website: https://www.transformingresults.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrew-oxley-tog
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/andrew.oxley.758
Twitter/X: https://x.com/AndrewOxley
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@andrewoxley-theoxleygroup
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