September 8, 2025 • 36 mins
The best leaders know this.
This week on UPBEAT I’m joined by Elena Armijo, a former opera singer turned executive coach, for a conversation about her bold pivot from opera to executive coaching and how to lead with your real voice. A must-listen for anyone craving alignment and purpose.
Elena is a Master Certified Coach (MCC), Trauma-Informed Certified Coach, and the Founder of the C-Suite Collective where she works with top performers across industries to lead with authenticity and purpose.
This podcast is for creators, leaders, and purpose-driven people who want to build something meaningful without losing themselves along the way.
🎧 In this episode, we cover:
- Why the best leaders know how to lead with their authentic voice
- What it means to truly belong to yourself and serve others
- How to pivot without abandoning your past
- The truth about performance versus authenticity and purpose
Listen in and thanks for being here :)
Connect with Elena Armijo:
Elena Armijo on Instagram
https://elenaarmijo.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (00:00):
Loved music my whole life and music.
(00:02):
I think music chooses you.
I really believe that created an entirecareer from trying to prove my worth.
I had a lot of guilt that Iwasn't having fun, and I knew
that I just wasn't gonna be happy.
HOST (Parker Kane) (00:12):
We all have different fingerprints unique to us.
We all have different skills, interests,passions that we have for a reason.
I believe
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (00:20):
even the, the breath that flows through your body to make the
voice work right, those vocal chords.
That is so unique to you and your DNA.
Like there's no two vocal chordsin the world that look like yours.
So that powerful metaphor of breathbeing life and then the breath
supporting voice in the world.
What does that mean for all of us?
(00:40):
I'm really.
Sitting with your question, because I'mthinking about who I was as a performer,
and I don't ever think I got the chance.
I didn't give myself the chance tobe on stage and be authentically me.
If I could go back and tell that versionof myself anything, it would be, man,
just open up and be you on stage,because that's where the magic is.
(01:02):
Might people want to feel you and seeyou, not a perfect version of you.
HOST (Parker Kane) (01:14):
She's commanded stages as an opera singer, Lincoln
Center, Carnegie Hall, and more.
Today, she guides top performersand executives through one of the
most powerful performances of all,which is leading with authenticity.
A Elena Armijo is a master certifiedtrauma-informed executive coach.
Founder of the C-Suite collective andhost of the Collective Corner Podcast.
(01:37):
This episode today withher, I'm so excited.
We're gonna get into voice identityand the courage to reinvent yourself
and actually own your story.
Elena, welcome to Upbeat.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (01:48):
Thank you so much for having me, Parker.
I'm really excited to be with you.
HOST (Parker Kane) (01:52):
I'm excited too.
We've, you know, crossed paths a coupletimes and we have, and I've had the
pleasure of being a guest on your show.
I wanted to make sure you knowthat you're such a powerful host,
like you do a great job with that.
We've had two run throughs.
We have,
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (02:06):
we've
HOST (Parker Kane) (02:06):
had, and
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (02:07):
fun convos.
HOST (Parker Kane) (02:08):
It was really, really good.
So thanks for having me on yourpodcast and, and thanks for
taking time to be on this one.
Of
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (02:14):
course, anytime.
I'm always excited tohave a good chat with you.
HOST (Parker Kane) (02:18):
Same, uh, with you.
Thank you.
And so to kick off, Ilove starting with story.
Um, just to introduce you to thelisteners if they might not know you yet.
So we got into it a little bit withthat intro, just that you're an
executive coach, but if you don'tmind kind of expanding on that.
Um, yeah, what is it thatyou do and what fires you up?
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (02:37):
Yeah.
I love helping people, uh,experience their life differently.
That's kind of it in, um,a very short sentence.
I, I was a person who lovedmusic my whole life and music.
I think music chooses you.
I really believe that, that, that itcan be a calling and it's something that
(02:58):
collectively, everybody enjoys together.
It can create collectivism in a way thatpeople really identify with each other
and can find each other in different ways.
And so it was something I grew up around.
My parents really nurtured it.
They supported me in learning how toplay the piano and singing lessons.
And through my entire college career,learning how to be an opera singer.
(03:21):
And it was one of those things whereI just followed the path and I kept.
Following the bouncing ball tobe a singer, and I was having a
good time, but there was alwaysjust something missing for me.
I loved music.
I did not love the music business.
I didn't like the lifestyle thatI had set up where I had to give
up a lot to be able to do my art.
(03:44):
And I, I know now that I probablycould have set that up differently with
the tools and the skills that I havethrough coaching, but then I didn't.
And so I was at a cross crossroads whereI found myself really lonely and missing
out on a lot of, uh, life events, uh,birthday parties, uh, funerals, weddings,
anything that you could think of that.
(04:05):
You know, I think most peopleget to experience, um, on
a normal, everyday basis.
Uh, I was Was that
HOST (Parker Kane) (04:12):
just 'cause you're touring, like you're
all over kind of a thing?
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (04:15):
Yeah.
It was one of the things that, asa singer, at least back then, um, I
think it's changing a bit now, butback then, if you were on a contract,
you were on a contract that meantthat you had to be there and if you
didn't sing, you didn't get paid.
And it started to feel veryconstricting for my life.
That, and, and there was a lot ofguilt that came with that because
(04:35):
I was singing on, on the road and.
Um, starting to have a,a little bit of success.
I, I think it was kind of a mid-levelcareer, but it, I could see that the next
20 years were gonna breed what I wanted.
And, um, I had a lot of guilt thatI wasn't having fun, and I knew
that I just wasn't gonna be happy.
So I came off the road, uh, ata time where it was pretty low
(04:59):
and I, I was experiencing a lotof loneliness, but a lot of, um.
I think the, the word that I would usenow looking back was desperation to try
to find something that could be moresustainable that I loved equally as much.
I think that's the thing that wasthe hardest thing about my pivot was
(05:19):
I was afraid that I would never findanything I loved as much as I loved
music, and that was terrifying to mebecause it was like really loving this
thing, but knowing it wasn't making youhappy was such a, a swirl of emotions.
And so I, um, I came off theroad and I hired a coach myself.
I didn't know what a life coachwas at the time, or an executive
(05:41):
coach or any kind of coach really.
I kind of, uh, thought thatthe whole profession was, was a
bunch of BS if I'm being honest.
And I, I was like, I don't,I don't know where I'm from.
We don't, we don't do that.
And, um, it took a lot tohire this woman and work, work
with her for six months and.
In that six months, you know, I reallyjust was like, well, I've tried everything
(06:02):
else so I might as well try this.
And I learned a lot about myself.
I learned how I created an entirecareer from trying to prove my worth.
Uh, that something I love.
When I commoditized it became,uh, something I didn't love.
And more importantly, I learned that Iwas multidimensional and I was allowed
(06:22):
to have multiple things in my lifethat I, that I was interested in and
experiences that I could create andstill have music be a part of that.
So that's how I had my first experiencewith a coach, and then I ended up
joining a coach training program.
Uh, really because I thought that Icould game the system and learn all the
(06:43):
tools to fix myself and make sure thatI never made a mistake again, which is
hilarious on this side because now Iknow that you, you know, you'll always
be growing and learning and developingin your life, and I. I think that, you
know, the universe had just pointed mein the right direction because within
month four of a 12 month trainingprogram, I fell in love with coaching.
(07:05):
And I, I had all of a sudden, you know,universe, divinity, god, whatever you
wanna call it was like, here you go.
You asked for something thatyou would love as much as you
love music and this is it.
And so I trained and I opened a businessin 2015 and I never looked back.
HOST (Parker Kane) (07:22):
With coaching.
Wow, that is incredible.
Thanks for the introduction.
I feel like we got a good,like starting place now.
There's so many different Yeah.
Ways to take that.
You know, the first thing I'm,uh, that came to mind was what
you said about music choosing you.
Hmm.
I think that's powerful.
To me, the way I viewed music is it'salways like one language, no matter who
(07:45):
you are, where you are, what interestyou have, what your background is,
where you're headed, anything, uh, musicis a way of like letting loose, being
authentic and communicating with others.
Yes.
And, and you don't have to havelike the same of anything else.
You just have to.
Participate in music.
Yeah.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (08:05):
You just have to wanna be a part of it and try.
Yeah.
HOST (Parker Kane) (08:08):
Right.
It is, that is really, really incredible.
And I got that a lotgrowing up, by the way.
Being a chubby white kid in glasses whowas beatboxing, like, it just, you know,
people would be like, what the heck?
I was not expecting you to beatbox.
And then Yeah.
Uh, but that was how I, itwas like an icebreaker or like
a way to fit in with people.
Um, so it really resonated with that.
(08:29):
Um, and then with the coachingstuff that you mentioned, how it,
you found a love for that in a waythat you didn't maybe anticipate?
Um, yeah.
What is it about coaching that drewyou into it or pulled you into it?
Was it just having impact on otherpeople, or, or what do you think it was?
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (08:49):
I think there were a couple things that I,
I do believe that anytime you canserve somebody else, whether it's.
By helping or supporting or donatingyour time or anything in the realm
of service in the world, it'sa quick way back to your heart.
So in the coaching world, we alwayslike to say that when you are supporting
other people, that's the most authenticplace you can be with your being.
(09:13):
Uh, it, it's the most you arealive, you feel when you are serving
others, which I think, you know.
I, I have a big belief thatwe're all here to help each
other and we're all connected.
And so if that is true, ofcourse serving other people would
bring you closer to your heart.
So I think that's, that's the first thing.
But I think the other thingthat I really love about it
is that I got to hear stories.
(09:35):
Um, every single client who walksthrough my door has a unique,
incredible, beautiful human story.
Um, we're all similar and we're allreally different at the same time.
And it's, um, it's really, it's oneof those things where I learn a lot
through every client about myself still.
There's always a gift that I getfrom working with, with my clients.
(09:59):
Um, and it's usually something thatI'm surprised by or I'm not expecting.
So I really, I really love that.
And again, just the, the massive amountsof stories I've heard in the world now.
Are just really fun.
It's really beautiful to rememberhow human we all are and that,
um, there's a lot of grace anddignity in our experience here.
HOST (Parker Kane) (10:24):
Wow.
That is, that is powerful.
Um, it's kind of like that hero journey.
Hmm.
Like all of us have the herojourney that we go through.
Like we have the same kind of storyarc maybe, but just in different ways.
Mm-hmm.
Um.
The way I like to look at it, youknow, is we all have different
fingerprints unique to us.
(10:45):
We all have different skills,interests, passions unique to us
that we have for a reason, I believe.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and then we all have different voices.
That's something I'mleaning into a lot lately.
Um, literally going to voice therapyand trying to fix my actual voice.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (11:05):
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
HOST (Parker Kane) (11:05):
But also, you know, voice being a way of.
Expressing you and like yourauthe authenticity and living
aligned, so that's powerful stuff.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (11:18):
Well, I'm, and I wonder, I'm so curious now
I'm gonna have to, we're gonnahave to have another conversation.
What you want, where even the, thebreath that flows through your body to
make the voice work right, those vocalcords that is so unique to you and your
DNA, like, there's no two vocal cordsin the world that look like yours.
Right?
And so that powerful metaphor of breathbeing life, uh, you know, we don't.
(11:42):
We don't live if we're not breathing.
And then the breathsupporting voice in the world.
What does that mean for all of us?
And what's the opportunityto say something, you know,
in contribution to the world?
HOST (Parker Kane) (11:56):
Right?
Yeah, you nailed it.
That's actually, I mean, we don'tneed to make this episode all about
my future keynotes, but that's,
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (12:03):
there you go.
HOST (Parker Kane) (12:04):
That's something that I, that I have been building
is I just gave a keynote where I wastalking about breath and leading them
through like a breath work exercise.
And it, it is fun stuff, but, uh,and really, really helpful stuff.
But I think the, the bigtakeaway from what you mentioned
is how it's aligned with.
Stories and how we all have uniquestories, really, I think a, a secret
(12:28):
weapon that we can all tap into isgauging how aligned or not aligned we
are with, uh, who we're, who we areand what we're supposed to be doing.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (12:39):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
HOST (Parker Kane) (12:40):
Uh, when it comes to your stories then that
you hear with these clients.
Are there any like really common threadsthat you see, um, that you see yourself
having to address or coach through a lot?
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (12:53):
Oh, yeah.
I would say the two.
There's two.
The first is, uh, the fear of irrelevance.
So I do a lot of work in, um,organizations with, uh, founders,
c-suite executives, leaders,entrepreneurs in the world and creatives.
And so the, the commontheme in these arenas.
(13:14):
Uh, can be, am I, am I still relevant?
Uh, usually at this point intheir career, they've, you know.
Done some magnificent things.
And so sometimes we're looking at can youexperience what you've created instead
of being afraid that you're alwaysbehind or chasing the next and the next.
So that is a, a common thing that I seeacross a lot of different generations
(13:37):
in a lot of different industries.
I think the other thing is,uh, the fear of belonging.
Uh, you know, I think belonging hasgotten a bad rap the last couple
years when it's been, uh, highlypoliticized and it's become a
conversation that's used for debatearound fair or unfair conversations.
(13:58):
And at the end of the day, I think mosthuman beings want to belong to themselves.
Yes, they wanna belong in societiesand, and communities and feel seen
and heard, which is another big theme.
But first you have to belong to yourself.
And so I think when you're searchingfor your soul or your experience
(14:18):
or making sure that whateveryou're doing in your life, whether
it's career wise or family wise.
Or even your wellbeing,like your health, right?
If, if it's all aligned with what youwant and what you wanna experience, um,
is sort of the place where we start.
Because once, once you look atthat, everything else tends to
be a lot less noisy in the world.
(14:39):
Uh, you get, get a lot clearer onthings that you want or don't want,
um, or the direction or the valuesystem that you wanna be walking.
HOST (Parker Kane) (14:49):
Incredible.
What's, so what is, I wannadive deeper into that.
Yeah.
What does it mean to belong to yourself?
Yeah.
I don't think I've everheard it put that way before.
So,
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (14:58):
yeah, it's, it, I mean, it can mean anything.
That's the, that's the non-answer.
Unique.
HOST (Parker Kane) (15:04):
Unique to, unique to each person kind of a thing.
Yeah.
It,
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (15:06):
it is unique, you know, belonging
to me means that I don't, um.
I don't hold back my truth in the worldthat I say the hard things, right?
Because if I say the hard things,that means I haven't abandoned
myself or stifled my voice.
Uh, belonging to me, uh, andmy body also means making sure
(15:27):
that I'm leading with love.
Uh, even when my humanity is presentand I'm like feeling like, you know,
really judgmental or opinionated thatday or not like, you know, woke up on
the wrong side of the bed, whateverit is in my humanity that I can
remember that at my core, my commitmentto the world is to lead with love.
(15:47):
Right.
That's, that's coming back to myself.
That's belonging.
Uh, when I belong to myself, it meansthat I actually am honoring myself
and my own humanity and my dignity,not from perfection, but from a place
that, again, just can remember thatthere are certain things that I believe
in this world that are important.
(16:08):
And another one is when I'm nothonoring my boundaries with people.
You know, when I, when I let, uh.
Clients get away with not showing upmultiple times, or I let certain people
talk to me a certain way that maybeI don't wanna be spoken to that way.
Uh, these are just some small examplesof places where you could actually speak
(16:29):
up from love and in service of connectionwith another human being that again,
makes sure you are part of the pictureas well, instead of self abandonment
or anything, anything else that wouldhave you not belong to yourself.
HOST (Parker Kane) (16:43):
Wow, love that.
And you know, it actually thoughtreminded me of something I was taught
in therapy, um, about boundaries.
So I just barely learned what boundarieswere and all that, like October last year.
So fairly recent.
And one thing powerful mytherapist said was, um.
(17:06):
It's not about like cutting people offunless you like Absolutely have to.
Mm-hmm.
He's like, it's more aboutcreating the healthiest and most
thriving relationships possible.
Being as close as you possibly can.
Mm-hmm.
In a healthy way.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (17:20):
Yeah.
And just work a good therapist.
HOST (Parker Kane) (17:23):
Right.
Yeah.
And then wherever it begins to teeteron, like not being healthy anymore
is where you have to set a boundary.
Um, what, regardless of, you know,you don't even have to voice it
to anybody else, but you justknow that that's not where you go.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (17:39):
Yeah.
So well said.
I think Brene Brown has a definitionthat I really love as well, that I
lean on a lot with boundaries is, uh.
Most of us in society are taught thatboundaries are a way to keep people out,
just like you're saying, like, uh, I justused this on a call with a client that I
was just on before our conversation where.
We were talking about a boundary can looklike you lock your door to keep people
(18:02):
out of your home from stealing yourstuff or coming in uninvited or strangers
that you don't want inside your house.
That is, that's typically the waythat we're taught boundaries in
society is stay out, stay away.
And Brene's definition, uh,lands in the realm of like the.
Having a boundary with you is theway that I can love you and me at
(18:25):
the same time, and we can still be inrelationship together and connection.
That connection you said,but you know where I stand.
I know where you stand.
And we can figure out a way to honorboth of us instead of one person
losing all the time or one person,uh, not getting what they need.
And so I really love that definitionbecause it honors again the the love.
(18:50):
And the connection, which is whatwe're really all after to again,
belong together in society and tohave an experience where we, um, we're
experiencing just more love and joy.
HOST (Parker Kane) (19:02):
Right.
That is such a cool, I'mglad we brought that up.
Yeah.
I think that's, I think that's animportant message to get out there.
Yeah.
Um, and you're the person toask about this 'cause you have
that background of performance.
Mm-hmm.
And.
This is something I'm also reallypassionate about as of recently, is
(19:22):
learning how to kind of un performor like strip, strip away the things
that are Yeah, that you got usedto as like a default, but they're
not actually like who you are.
So I. In your process of leaving thatlife or, or not totally abandoning?
'cause I know you stilllove music and do music.
Yeah.
But yeah.
(19:42):
Uh, in your process of switchingpaths a little bit and now in
your process of working withall these other professionals.
How much have you seen that peopleare just performing as a default and
what do they kind of do to strip thataway and get real with themselves?
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (19:59):
Oh man.
I think that's like 90% of us we're all,you know, when you're afraid you perform,
you do the best to you can to get by.
Like a lot of, a lot of executives fakeit till you make it right, or imposter
syndrome is another big thing that wetalk about a lot in coaching and I think
that, um, I. This is a, I, I'm, I'm reallysitting with your question because I'm
(20:23):
thinking about who I was as a performerand I don't ever think I got the chance.
I didn't give myself the chance tobe on stage and be authentically me.
And that's a missing, right?
Because I, I was sort of mid journeybefore I got off that, that road.
And if I could go back and tell thatversion of myself anything, it would be,
(20:44):
man, just open up and be you on stage,because that's where the magic is, right?
People want to feel you.
See you not a perfect version of youor the, the perfect sung line or, uh,
the movement that you think will bethe thing people really wanna see.
(21:04):
And, um, man, I I, I wish I had hadgiven myself that opportunity because
in that is a freedom that exists to,uh, be seen and also allow yourself to
be held at the same time in the world.
So for executives.
You know, this is what we seewhen people come in and they
(21:25):
have a way of leading, right?
Like, I need to not show weaknessin any of my meetings, or I need to
make sure that I hold the line aroundaccountability, uh, or boundaries, right?
If they're looking at boundaries as.
Specific way.
And oftentimes the work that we'redoing is letting themselves show in
real time in big rooms with peoplethat typ typically they wouldn't share
(21:49):
vulnerabilities with that they are human.
And this looks like showing up in ameeting and saying, uh, you know what I,
that's some really hard feedback to hearfrom you all, but I wanna take it on, and
it's very uncomfortable for me to receivethe feedback that you're telling me today.
But.
I wanna grow, and I'mwith you and I'm here.
It's not fun.
(22:09):
I don't like it, but I'mgonna take a look, right?
Like that's a, that's a really, um,vulnerable way of leading that most
people might not have access to.
So some of the ways we get there are, wepractice in small ways with gradients.
Um, maybe it's really easy to say thatto your partner or your spouse, but it's
not easy to say that to your boss yet.
(22:30):
Or vice versa.
Maybe it's really easy to say thatto your boss, but it's not so easy
to tell your your deep love that.
Right?
So, uh, we look for places where it'sa little easier to build that muscle.
We start slow and over time, you know,when you do it consistently, just like
anything, like learning to beatbox, right?
You get better at it.
(22:50):
It gets more comfortable.
I don't know.
I don't know that I'm ever gonna say that.
It's amazing and it's an amazingfeeling to show your humanity
and be vulnerable in spaces.
Um, that part will probably alwaysfeel a little bit nerve, you know,
nerve-racking or anxious, justlike it does when you get on stage.
But man, the payoff onthe other side is freedom.
HOST (Parker Kane) (23:14):
Gosh.
Yeah, that was really well said.
I was, I was just gonna ask too, um.
You know, what do you wishmost professionals understood
about being vulnerable?
Yeah.
And then I think you answered it at leastin a small way, right there when you were
like on the other side, it's freedom.
If
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (23:32):
freedom,
HOST (Parker Kane) (23:32):
that's powerful.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (23:34):
It's freedom.
And it's also, um, trustpeople, trust what they can see.
And what they can feel.
And as a leader, if you are lookingto develop deeper connections with
your people to have impact, tocreate things, innovation, brave
spaces, uh, to even move faster.
Although I don't als, I, I don't alwaysascribe to moving faster as better, but
(23:57):
you will move faster in your culturewith the things you're creating, whether
it's a product or a system or whateveryou're building in your company.
Uh, with trust.
So I think that's what's on the other sideof being human instead of inaccessible
or performing because you think that.
Your style of leadershipworks on everybody instead of
(24:19):
speaking multiple languages.
Right?
Right now we have, I think there's sixgenerations in the workforce right now.
If you don't have the ability to speakto many different types of people in your
workforce, you have one way of leading.
And sometimes that can bereally, really polarizing.
And sure, your people are missingout, but you're missing out too.
HOST (Parker Kane) (24:42):
Ru geez.
Really well said.
Thank you for doing the breakdown on that.
I think it's an, yeah,
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (24:48):
thanks for asking.
HOST (Parker Kane) (24:49):
Yeah, absolutely.
Um, man, there's two different waysI kind of feel pulled right now.
I, I wanna talk about likeleadership stuff, but I also
am being pulled to like mm-hmm.
You know who the person listeningright now who, and maybe this.
We'll go this way.
It feels more natural.
Um, the person listening right nowwho was where you were as an opera
(25:11):
singer in getting those signalsof like, there's more out there.
Um, I don't feel like I'mfully being me, you know?
Mm-hmm.
What advice would you have for them asfar as recognizing those signals and
the first things to do to try to get.
Clear.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (25:31):
The first thing I would say is utilize all
your free resources that you can.
There are so many free resources out thereto start getting curious about yourself.
So, uh, the very, the very firstplace you gotta look is you, right?
You gotta go inside.
You gotta do that deep inner work.
Uh, what does that even mean?
Uh, read some books likearound self-development,
(25:53):
um, around healing around.
Um, expansion of your mindsetwith different ways of thinking.
So any leadership books out there,any self-development, self-help,
even the books around, like I've readmany different types of books about,
um, ways of thinking or religion.
I'm not a religious person.
(26:13):
But I do have a deep connection toSpirit, so I would say I'm a, a very
spiritual person, but I've read thingslike The Tree of Life and the Ying
and the Bag Gita, and so, you know,just to open up your mind around what.
People in different cultures thinkand feel and to be exposed to it.
(26:34):
So I think the mo more exposure you canget to other ways of thinking is the first
thing to ask yourself, what do I believe?
Not just what I was raised in orwhere I grew up, or my family of
origin, but what, what do I believenow at this point in my life?
I think, um, any, if you haveresources, I think anytime you can
(26:54):
work with a therapist or a coach.
Take it.
Uh, it's not mandatory.
You're, you're gonna be just fine if youdon't, and you will go so much quicker
finding your path around what you wanna bedoing in this world if you have support.
And I think a lot of people think,uh, that support is only for
people who are at a certain levelor, um, support is a privilege.
(27:18):
So it can be a resourceconversation, but if you can.
Take it.
I have seen so many people do sowell later in their careers in life
because they spent the time on thefront end taking care of their soul
and their bodies and their mind.
Um, healing traumas, being in 12step work, uh, being in communities
that support them in being, uh,loving and abundant right mindsets.
(27:43):
So those are some of theplaces I would start.
Tons of podcasts out there.
Listen to other coaches,listen to you, listen
HOST (Parker Kane) (27:50):
to
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (27:50):
your keynotes.
Go expose yourself to things.
Um, and then I think the, the nextplace I would point you is art.
You know, I, I think we'retalking about that here.
There's something magicalabout music, movies, theater.
Uh, paintings, anything that youcan expose yourself to that will
(28:11):
have you feel, because learning howyou feel is part of the package.
Uh, a lot of times we are not sonuanced with our emotional language in
the world, and this is how you learn.
How else would, you know, how you feelif you haven't stared at a painting
and said something like, I thinkthat's really weird, or, I feel nothing
right now, or, I feel everything.
(28:33):
Um, I was just, I was thinkingof you because my, my partner
and I were listening to, um.
Uh, the Frank Ocean album, um, orange,uh, course, I'm gonna have to look
it up, but we were listening to theFrank Ocean album and I, I missed it.
Like there, you know, many people knowthis album very, very well, and I was
not at a time where I heard it and I,I asked him to put it on the other day
(28:56):
to listen to it from start to finish.
And, um, I had this visceral experience.
In my body, a feeling emotionlistening to this music.
And, and that happens a lot.
But I was really present to, wow, I,I, I can't believe I didn't give myself
the gift of sitting and listeningto this before to get this, this
(29:18):
emotional swelling that was happeningjust from being exposed to new music.
So those are kind of all thearenas that I like to play in.
And, and again, to.
Listen and awaken your body and yourmind and your heart so that you can
then hear what you want to be doing.
HOST (Parker Kane) (29:36):
Amazing.
Yeah.
That's powerful advice, and I highlyrecommend anyone listening, you know.
As long as you're notdriving or something.
Right?
Yeah.
To, uh,
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (29:45):
not driving
HOST (Parker Kane) (29:46):
to rewind that, you know, and take notes, you know,
that's, that's a powerful like blueprintessentially of like a way to get unstuck.
And I would say, you know, that
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (29:58):
I'm so sorry I had to say it right.
I had to say it right.
Yeah, I will think about it forever.
Channel Orange, I just, amazing.
I just heard it, so
HOST (Parker Kane) (30:06):
I'm gonna listen to that right after this for sure.
Um.
I love that kind of stuff.
And I think you're hitting onsomething powerful too, with
creative expression, right?
Mm-hmm.
When you do that, there's,there's something authentic
about it where you just connectwith what's out there, you know?
Yeah.
Um, and you live more aligned,which is just beautiful.
(30:28):
And I want to kind of tie allthat back into something you
mentioned previous too, about trust.
Hmm.
Um, if I could add onto what youwere sharing, it would just be that.
The advice, you know, the little nudgeof advice to not get stuck there.
Mm-hmm.
Um, that's what happenedto me the last 10 years.
Yeah.
I got so swamped into personaldevelopment, podcasts and books
(30:53):
and stuff with not as much action.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (30:56):
Ah, good call.
HOST (Parker Kane) (30:57):
And so I just want to say like, do all
those things that she just said.
But do it as a way to like propel yourselfforward and like start acting on those
things that are authentically you, thatyou discover through doing those things.
Um, and as you do those little baby stepsof like keeping promises to yourself or,
oh, that's me, I'm gonna do more of that,and then you do more of that, uh, you
(31:21):
build trust with yourself and it's justlike this momentum that starts building.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (31:27):
So well said.
Thank you for, thank you for saying that.
That's really important.
It's really, really important.
And I think that's why a coach ora therapist is pretty cool to have
by your side, because they're gonnabe the ones that don't let you
off the hook when you wanna stop.
Right.
When you wanna sit inself-development land or, um, yeah.
It, it's just a beautiful shoutout to have somebody that's holding
(31:50):
you accountable to move forward.
HOST (Parker Kane) (31:52):
Right.
Yeah.
And even if it's, you know, if it's.
Hard to like afford a, areally high level person.
There's so many communities out there.
I mean, yep.
There's communities, forums,Facebook groups, zoom group.
Coaching groups, all kinds of thingsthat are really, really either
free or very, very affordable.
(32:12):
And you get with those like-mindedpeople, that's, I guess, a whole other
side we haven't even tapped into yetabout the proximity effect and Right.
And like yeah, who's who you're around.
But yeah.
Um, this has been a really powerful.
Conversation, and I'm curious ifthere's anything that I haven't asked
about or that you've had on your heartthat you wanna share that uh, we can
(32:36):
talk about to kind of wrap things up?
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (32:38):
I think I would share that, just a reminder that
everybody has something to offer.
I think sometimes peoplethink that they don't have.
Something grand enough or big enoughin the world to make an impact or
difference, and just by being youauthentically you, whatever that means,
that you have to go find that personinside of you and pull them out and
(33:00):
live that life in the world is enough.
It doesn't have to be showy or big.
It can be small and quiet aslong as it's authentic to you.
HOST (Parker Kane) (33:10):
Out of this conversation today,
this one's kind of tricky.
It.
It catches people, includingme off guard sometimes, but
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (33:18):
Okay.
I'm ready.
HOST (Parker Kane) (33:18):
Out of all of today's conversation,
what's like a standout moment ortakeaway that you would highlight?
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (33:28):
I think, I think the piece about just bringing humanity,
like even like not knowing the name ofFrank Ocean's album is a big deal, right?
And in that moment, instead of.
Going into shame or blame or,oh, I should have known, or
all the things that came up.
Definitely.
It's just trusting that the, theconversation and the intention is enough.
(33:49):
So that's, that's the moment, right?
Like that's what we're talkingabout on the whole show today.
HOST (Parker Kane) (33:54):
Love that.
Intention is a powerful word.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (33:57):
Yeah.
HOST (Parker Kane) (33:57):
Um, very cool.
Well, so what's next for you, Elena?
And what can, um.
Upbeat listeners do to help.
Like would you wanna send them anywhere?
Um, who's your ideal client?
Whatever.
Whatever we can do to help.
GUEST (Elena Armijo): Oh, that's really kind. (34:12):
undefined
That's very, very kind.
If anybody wants to help.
Come check out the csuite collective.com,the c suite collective.com.
Uh, you can find me there, youcan find the group of coaches
that I partner with in the world.
We're all up to some really cool stuff.
So if you, uh, wanna come our way andhave a conversation about anything you
(34:32):
heard today, we're always open to that.
Um, for.
A free conversation to just come andsee how we can support you in the world.
And then the Collective Corner, thepodcast, it's a small but mighty
podcast that has a lot of gems onit that I think it's a great free
resource that if anyone's looking forsomething immediately that they want
to take on from this, you'll probablyfind some nuggets there for yourself.
HOST (Parker Kane) (34:53):
Amazing.
Yeah, definitely highly recommend.
Uh, if, uh, depending on whenthis comes out, you know, might
need to scroll back a little bit.
Try to find my episode.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (35:02):
Yeah, it's definitely there.
HOST (Parker Kane) (35:04):
That's funny.
Um, cool.
Well yeah, it's been a pleasure.
Uh, really appreciate you being on Upbeat.
I close out every episodebeatboxing the guest's name,
so I'm gonna do that for you.
Are
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (35:16):
you serious?
I'm
HOST (Parker Kane) (35:17):
serious and I'm crossing my fingers that,
uh, it's gonna come through.
Okay.
'cause I had to switch out mics.
You know, the system's been alittle glitchy here and there,
but we'll give it our best try.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (35:28):
Okay.
I'm ready.
I'm so excited.
This is great.
Okay.
HOST (Parker Kane) (35:49):
Rubs.
Thank you, Elena.
Rub Elena or Mi.
This Elena rubs Elena or Mijo.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (36:01):
Oh my God, that's so fun.
Yes.
Thank, what did she?
Of
HOST (Parker Kane) (36:07):
course.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (36:10):
Gift.
My gosh.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna likemark that and keep it feeling low.
I'm gonna be like.
I hear myself.
HOST (Parker Kane) (36:18):
You're right.
Like your own little walkon beat or theme beat.
Exactly.
Amazing.
Well thanks for being on the showand everyone, thanks for listening.
Thank you.
Loved music my whole life and music.
(00:02):
I think music chooses you.
I really believe that created an entirecareer from trying to prove my worth.
I had a lot of guilt that Iwasn't having fun, and I knew
that I just wasn't gonna be happy.
HOST (Parker Kane) (00:12):
We all have different fingerprints unique to us.
We all have different skills, interests,passions that we have for a reason.
I believe
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (00:20):
even the, the breath that flows through your body to make the
voice work right, those vocal chords.
That is so unique to you and your DNA.
Like there's no two vocal chordsin the world that look like yours.
So that powerful metaphor of breathbeing life and then the breath
supporting voice in the world.
What does that mean for all of us?
(00:40):
I'm really.
Sitting with your question, because I'mthinking about who I was as a performer,
and I don't ever think I got the chance.
I didn't give myself the chance tobe on stage and be authentically me.
If I could go back and tell that versionof myself anything, it would be, man,
just open up and be you on stage,because that's where the magic is.
(01:02):
Might people want to feel you and seeyou, not a perfect version of you.
HOST (Parker Kane) (01:14):
She's commanded stages as an opera singer, Lincoln
Center, Carnegie Hall, and more.
Today, she guides top performersand executives through one of the
most powerful performances of all,which is leading with authenticity.
A Elena Armijo is a master certifiedtrauma-informed executive coach.
Founder of the C-Suite collective andhost of the Collective Corner Podcast.
(01:37):
This episode today withher, I'm so excited.
We're gonna get into voice identityand the courage to reinvent yourself
and actually own your story.
Elena, welcome to Upbeat.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (01:48):
Thank you so much for having me, Parker.
I'm really excited to be with you.
HOST (Parker Kane) (01:52):
I'm excited too.
We've, you know, crossed paths a coupletimes and we have, and I've had the
pleasure of being a guest on your show.
I wanted to make sure you knowthat you're such a powerful host,
like you do a great job with that.
We've had two run throughs.
We have,
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (02:06):
we've
HOST (Parker Kane) (02:06):
had, and
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (02:07):
fun convos.
HOST (Parker Kane) (02:08):
It was really, really good.
So thanks for having me on yourpodcast and, and thanks for
taking time to be on this one.
Of
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (02:14):
course, anytime.
I'm always excited tohave a good chat with you.
HOST (Parker Kane) (02:18):
Same, uh, with you.
Thank you.
And so to kick off, Ilove starting with story.
Um, just to introduce you to thelisteners if they might not know you yet.
So we got into it a little bit withthat intro, just that you're an
executive coach, but if you don'tmind kind of expanding on that.
Um, yeah, what is it thatyou do and what fires you up?
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (02:37):
Yeah.
I love helping people, uh,experience their life differently.
That's kind of it in, um,a very short sentence.
I, I was a person who lovedmusic my whole life and music.
I think music chooses you.
I really believe that, that, that itcan be a calling and it's something that
(02:58):
collectively, everybody enjoys together.
It can create collectivism in a way thatpeople really identify with each other
and can find each other in different ways.
And so it was something I grew up around.
My parents really nurtured it.
They supported me in learning how toplay the piano and singing lessons.
And through my entire college career,learning how to be an opera singer.
(03:21):
And it was one of those things whereI just followed the path and I kept.
Following the bouncing ball tobe a singer, and I was having a
good time, but there was alwaysjust something missing for me.
I loved music.
I did not love the music business.
I didn't like the lifestyle thatI had set up where I had to give
up a lot to be able to do my art.
(03:44):
And I, I know now that I probablycould have set that up differently with
the tools and the skills that I havethrough coaching, but then I didn't.
And so I was at a cross crossroads whereI found myself really lonely and missing
out on a lot of, uh, life events, uh,birthday parties, uh, funerals, weddings,
anything that you could think of that.
(04:05):
You know, I think most peopleget to experience, um, on
a normal, everyday basis.
Uh, I was Was that
HOST (Parker Kane) (04:12):
just 'cause you're touring, like you're
all over kind of a thing?
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (04:15):
Yeah.
It was one of the things that, asa singer, at least back then, um, I
think it's changing a bit now, butback then, if you were on a contract,
you were on a contract that meantthat you had to be there and if you
didn't sing, you didn't get paid.
And it started to feel veryconstricting for my life.
That, and, and there was a lot ofguilt that came with that because
(04:35):
I was singing on, on the road and.
Um, starting to have a,a little bit of success.
I, I think it was kind of a mid-levelcareer, but it, I could see that the next
20 years were gonna breed what I wanted.
And, um, I had a lot of guilt thatI wasn't having fun, and I knew
that I just wasn't gonna be happy.
So I came off the road, uh, ata time where it was pretty low
(04:59):
and I, I was experiencing a lotof loneliness, but a lot of, um.
I think the, the word that I would usenow looking back was desperation to try
to find something that could be moresustainable that I loved equally as much.
I think that's the thing that wasthe hardest thing about my pivot was
(05:19):
I was afraid that I would never findanything I loved as much as I loved
music, and that was terrifying to mebecause it was like really loving this
thing, but knowing it wasn't making youhappy was such a, a swirl of emotions.
And so I, um, I came off theroad and I hired a coach myself.
I didn't know what a life coachwas at the time, or an executive
(05:41):
coach or any kind of coach really.
I kind of, uh, thought thatthe whole profession was, was a
bunch of BS if I'm being honest.
And I, I was like, I don't,I don't know where I'm from.
We don't, we don't do that.
And, um, it took a lot tohire this woman and work, work
with her for six months and.
In that six months, you know, I reallyjust was like, well, I've tried everything
(06:02):
else so I might as well try this.
And I learned a lot about myself.
I learned how I created an entirecareer from trying to prove my worth.
Uh, that something I love.
When I commoditized it became,uh, something I didn't love.
And more importantly, I learned that Iwas multidimensional and I was allowed
(06:22):
to have multiple things in my lifethat I, that I was interested in and
experiences that I could create andstill have music be a part of that.
So that's how I had my first experiencewith a coach, and then I ended up
joining a coach training program.
Uh, really because I thought that Icould game the system and learn all the
(06:43):
tools to fix myself and make sure thatI never made a mistake again, which is
hilarious on this side because now Iknow that you, you know, you'll always
be growing and learning and developingin your life, and I. I think that, you
know, the universe had just pointed mein the right direction because within
month four of a 12 month trainingprogram, I fell in love with coaching.
(07:05):
And I, I had all of a sudden, you know,universe, divinity, god, whatever you
wanna call it was like, here you go.
You asked for something thatyou would love as much as you
love music and this is it.
And so I trained and I opened a businessin 2015 and I never looked back.
HOST (Parker Kane) (07:22):
With coaching.
Wow, that is incredible.
Thanks for the introduction.
I feel like we got a good,like starting place now.
There's so many different Yeah.
Ways to take that.
You know, the first thing I'm,uh, that came to mind was what
you said about music choosing you.
Hmm.
I think that's powerful.
To me, the way I viewed music is it'salways like one language, no matter who
(07:45):
you are, where you are, what interestyou have, what your background is,
where you're headed, anything, uh, musicis a way of like letting loose, being
authentic and communicating with others.
Yes.
And, and you don't have to havelike the same of anything else.
You just have to.
Participate in music.
Yeah.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (08:05):
You just have to wanna be a part of it and try.
Yeah.
HOST (Parker Kane) (08:08):
Right.
It is, that is really, really incredible.
And I got that a lotgrowing up, by the way.
Being a chubby white kid in glasses whowas beatboxing, like, it just, you know,
people would be like, what the heck?
I was not expecting you to beatbox.
And then Yeah.
Uh, but that was how I, itwas like an icebreaker or like
a way to fit in with people.
Um, so it really resonated with that.
(08:29):
Um, and then with the coachingstuff that you mentioned, how it,
you found a love for that in a waythat you didn't maybe anticipate?
Um, yeah.
What is it about coaching that drewyou into it or pulled you into it?
Was it just having impact on otherpeople, or, or what do you think it was?
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (08:49):
I think there were a couple things that I,
I do believe that anytime you canserve somebody else, whether it's.
By helping or supporting or donatingyour time or anything in the realm
of service in the world, it'sa quick way back to your heart.
So in the coaching world, we alwayslike to say that when you are supporting
other people, that's the most authenticplace you can be with your being.
(09:13):
Uh, it, it's the most you arealive, you feel when you are serving
others, which I think, you know.
I, I have a big belief thatwe're all here to help each
other and we're all connected.
And so if that is true, ofcourse serving other people would
bring you closer to your heart.
So I think that's, that's the first thing.
But I think the other thingthat I really love about it
is that I got to hear stories.
(09:35):
Um, every single client who walksthrough my door has a unique,
incredible, beautiful human story.
Um, we're all similar and we're allreally different at the same time.
And it's, um, it's really, it's oneof those things where I learn a lot
through every client about myself still.
There's always a gift that I getfrom working with, with my clients.
(09:59):
Um, and it's usually something thatI'm surprised by or I'm not expecting.
So I really, I really love that.
And again, just the, the massive amountsof stories I've heard in the world now.
Are just really fun.
It's really beautiful to rememberhow human we all are and that,
um, there's a lot of grace anddignity in our experience here.
HOST (Parker Kane) (10:24):
Wow.
That is, that is powerful.
Um, it's kind of like that hero journey.
Hmm.
Like all of us have the herojourney that we go through.
Like we have the same kind of storyarc maybe, but just in different ways.
Mm-hmm.
Um.
The way I like to look at it, youknow, is we all have different
fingerprints unique to us.
(10:45):
We all have different skills,interests, passions unique to us
that we have for a reason, I believe.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and then we all have different voices.
That's something I'mleaning into a lot lately.
Um, literally going to voice therapyand trying to fix my actual voice.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (11:05):
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
HOST (Parker Kane) (11:05):
But also, you know, voice being a way of.
Expressing you and like yourauthe authenticity and living
aligned, so that's powerful stuff.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (11:18):
Well, I'm, and I wonder, I'm so curious now
I'm gonna have to, we're gonnahave to have another conversation.
What you want, where even the, thebreath that flows through your body to
make the voice work right, those vocalcords that is so unique to you and your
DNA, like, there's no two vocal cordsin the world that look like yours.
Right?
And so that powerful metaphor of breathbeing life, uh, you know, we don't.
(11:42):
We don't live if we're not breathing.
And then the breathsupporting voice in the world.
What does that mean for all of us?
And what's the opportunityto say something, you know,
in contribution to the world?
HOST (Parker Kane) (11:56):
Right?
Yeah, you nailed it.
That's actually, I mean, we don'tneed to make this episode all about
my future keynotes, but that's,
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (12:03):
there you go.
HOST (Parker Kane) (12:04):
That's something that I, that I have been building
is I just gave a keynote where I wastalking about breath and leading them
through like a breath work exercise.
And it, it is fun stuff, but, uh,and really, really helpful stuff.
But I think the, the bigtakeaway from what you mentioned
is how it's aligned with.
Stories and how we all have uniquestories, really, I think a, a secret
(12:28):
weapon that we can all tap into isgauging how aligned or not aligned we
are with, uh, who we're, who we areand what we're supposed to be doing.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (12:39):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
HOST (Parker Kane) (12:40):
Uh, when it comes to your stories then that
you hear with these clients.
Are there any like really common threadsthat you see, um, that you see yourself
having to address or coach through a lot?
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (12:53):
Oh, yeah.
I would say the two.
There's two.
The first is, uh, the fear of irrelevance.
So I do a lot of work in, um,organizations with, uh, founders,
c-suite executives, leaders,entrepreneurs in the world and creatives.
And so the, the commontheme in these arenas.
(13:14):
Uh, can be, am I, am I still relevant?
Uh, usually at this point intheir career, they've, you know.
Done some magnificent things.
And so sometimes we're looking at can youexperience what you've created instead
of being afraid that you're alwaysbehind or chasing the next and the next.
So that is a, a common thing that I seeacross a lot of different generations
(13:37):
in a lot of different industries.
I think the other thing is,uh, the fear of belonging.
Uh, you know, I think belonging hasgotten a bad rap the last couple
years when it's been, uh, highlypoliticized and it's become a
conversation that's used for debatearound fair or unfair conversations.
(13:58):
And at the end of the day, I think mosthuman beings want to belong to themselves.
Yes, they wanna belong in societiesand, and communities and feel seen
and heard, which is another big theme.
But first you have to belong to yourself.
And so I think when you're searchingfor your soul or your experience
(14:18):
or making sure that whateveryou're doing in your life, whether
it's career wise or family wise.
Or even your wellbeing,like your health, right?
If, if it's all aligned with what youwant and what you wanna experience, um,
is sort of the place where we start.
Because once, once you look atthat, everything else tends to
be a lot less noisy in the world.
(14:39):
Uh, you get, get a lot clearer onthings that you want or don't want,
um, or the direction or the valuesystem that you wanna be walking.
HOST (Parker Kane) (14:49):
Incredible.
What's, so what is, I wannadive deeper into that.
Yeah.
What does it mean to belong to yourself?
Yeah.
I don't think I've everheard it put that way before.
So,
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (14:58):
yeah, it's, it, I mean, it can mean anything.
That's the, that's the non-answer.
Unique.
HOST (Parker Kane) (15:04):
Unique to, unique to each person kind of a thing.
Yeah.
It,
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (15:06):
it is unique, you know, belonging
to me means that I don't, um.
I don't hold back my truth in the worldthat I say the hard things, right?
Because if I say the hard things,that means I haven't abandoned
myself or stifled my voice.
Uh, belonging to me, uh, andmy body also means making sure
(15:27):
that I'm leading with love.
Uh, even when my humanity is presentand I'm like feeling like, you know,
really judgmental or opinionated thatday or not like, you know, woke up on
the wrong side of the bed, whateverit is in my humanity that I can
remember that at my core, my commitmentto the world is to lead with love.
(15:47):
Right.
That's, that's coming back to myself.
That's belonging.
Uh, when I belong to myself, it meansthat I actually am honoring myself
and my own humanity and my dignity,not from perfection, but from a place
that, again, just can remember thatthere are certain things that I believe
in this world that are important.
(16:08):
And another one is when I'm nothonoring my boundaries with people.
You know, when I, when I let, uh.
Clients get away with not showing upmultiple times, or I let certain people
talk to me a certain way that maybeI don't wanna be spoken to that way.
Uh, these are just some small examplesof places where you could actually speak
(16:29):
up from love and in service of connectionwith another human being that again,
makes sure you are part of the pictureas well, instead of self abandonment
or anything, anything else that wouldhave you not belong to yourself.
HOST (Parker Kane) (16:43):
Wow, love that.
And you know, it actually thoughtreminded me of something I was taught
in therapy, um, about boundaries.
So I just barely learned what boundarieswere and all that, like October last year.
So fairly recent.
And one thing powerful mytherapist said was, um.
(17:06):
It's not about like cutting people offunless you like Absolutely have to.
Mm-hmm.
He's like, it's more aboutcreating the healthiest and most
thriving relationships possible.
Being as close as you possibly can.
Mm-hmm.
In a healthy way.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (17:20):
Yeah.
And just work a good therapist.
HOST (Parker Kane) (17:23):
Right.
Yeah.
And then wherever it begins to teeteron, like not being healthy anymore
is where you have to set a boundary.
Um, what, regardless of, you know,you don't even have to voice it
to anybody else, but you justknow that that's not where you go.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (17:39):
Yeah.
So well said.
I think Brene Brown has a definitionthat I really love as well, that I
lean on a lot with boundaries is, uh.
Most of us in society are taught thatboundaries are a way to keep people out,
just like you're saying, like, uh, I justused this on a call with a client that I
was just on before our conversation where.
We were talking about a boundary can looklike you lock your door to keep people
(18:02):
out of your home from stealing yourstuff or coming in uninvited or strangers
that you don't want inside your house.
That is, that's typically the waythat we're taught boundaries in
society is stay out, stay away.
And Brene's definition, uh,lands in the realm of like the.
Having a boundary with you is theway that I can love you and me at
(18:25):
the same time, and we can still be inrelationship together and connection.
That connection you said,but you know where I stand.
I know where you stand.
And we can figure out a way to honorboth of us instead of one person
losing all the time or one person,uh, not getting what they need.
And so I really love that definitionbecause it honors again the the love.
(18:50):
And the connection, which is whatwe're really all after to again,
belong together in society and tohave an experience where we, um, we're
experiencing just more love and joy.
HOST (Parker Kane) (19:02):
Right.
That is such a cool, I'mglad we brought that up.
Yeah.
I think that's, I think that's animportant message to get out there.
Yeah.
Um, and you're the person toask about this 'cause you have
that background of performance.
Mm-hmm.
And.
This is something I'm also reallypassionate about as of recently, is
(19:22):
learning how to kind of un performor like strip, strip away the things
that are Yeah, that you got usedto as like a default, but they're
not actually like who you are.
So I. In your process of leaving thatlife or, or not totally abandoning?
'cause I know you stilllove music and do music.
Yeah.
But yeah.
(19:42):
Uh, in your process of switchingpaths a little bit and now in
your process of working withall these other professionals.
How much have you seen that peopleare just performing as a default and
what do they kind of do to strip thataway and get real with themselves?
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (19:59):
Oh man.
I think that's like 90% of us we're all,you know, when you're afraid you perform,
you do the best to you can to get by.
Like a lot of, a lot of executives fakeit till you make it right, or imposter
syndrome is another big thing that wetalk about a lot in coaching and I think
that, um, I. This is a, I, I'm, I'm reallysitting with your question because I'm
(20:23):
thinking about who I was as a performerand I don't ever think I got the chance.
I didn't give myself the chance tobe on stage and be authentically me.
And that's a missing, right?
Because I, I was sort of mid journeybefore I got off that, that road.
And if I could go back and tell thatversion of myself anything, it would be,
(20:44):
man, just open up and be you on stage,because that's where the magic is, right?
People want to feel you.
See you not a perfect version of youor the, the perfect sung line or, uh,
the movement that you think will bethe thing people really wanna see.
(21:04):
And, um, man, I I, I wish I had hadgiven myself that opportunity because
in that is a freedom that exists to,uh, be seen and also allow yourself to
be held at the same time in the world.
So for executives.
You know, this is what we seewhen people come in and they
(21:25):
have a way of leading, right?
Like, I need to not show weaknessin any of my meetings, or I need to
make sure that I hold the line aroundaccountability, uh, or boundaries, right?
If they're looking at boundaries as.
Specific way.
And oftentimes the work that we'redoing is letting themselves show in
real time in big rooms with peoplethat typ typically they wouldn't share
(21:49):
vulnerabilities with that they are human.
And this looks like showing up in ameeting and saying, uh, you know what I,
that's some really hard feedback to hearfrom you all, but I wanna take it on, and
it's very uncomfortable for me to receivethe feedback that you're telling me today.
But.
I wanna grow, and I'mwith you and I'm here.
It's not fun.
(22:09):
I don't like it, but I'mgonna take a look, right?
Like that's a, that's a really, um,vulnerable way of leading that most
people might not have access to.
So some of the ways we get there are, wepractice in small ways with gradients.
Um, maybe it's really easy to say thatto your partner or your spouse, but it's
not easy to say that to your boss yet.
(22:30):
Or vice versa.
Maybe it's really easy to say thatto your boss, but it's not so easy
to tell your your deep love that.
Right?
So, uh, we look for places where it'sa little easier to build that muscle.
We start slow and over time, you know,when you do it consistently, just like
anything, like learning to beatbox, right?
You get better at it.
(22:50):
It gets more comfortable.
I don't know.
I don't know that I'm ever gonna say that.
It's amazing and it's an amazingfeeling to show your humanity
and be vulnerable in spaces.
Um, that part will probably alwaysfeel a little bit nerve, you know,
nerve-racking or anxious, justlike it does when you get on stage.
But man, the payoff onthe other side is freedom.
HOST (Parker Kane) (23:14):
Gosh.
Yeah, that was really well said.
I was, I was just gonna ask too, um.
You know, what do you wishmost professionals understood
about being vulnerable?
Yeah.
And then I think you answered it at leastin a small way, right there when you were
like on the other side, it's freedom.
If
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (23:32):
freedom,
HOST (Parker Kane) (23:32):
that's powerful.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (23:34):
It's freedom.
And it's also, um, trustpeople, trust what they can see.
And what they can feel.
And as a leader, if you are lookingto develop deeper connections with
your people to have impact, tocreate things, innovation, brave
spaces, uh, to even move faster.
Although I don't als, I, I don't alwaysascribe to moving faster as better, but
(23:57):
you will move faster in your culturewith the things you're creating, whether
it's a product or a system or whateveryou're building in your company.
Uh, with trust.
So I think that's what's on the other sideof being human instead of inaccessible
or performing because you think that.
Your style of leadershipworks on everybody instead of
(24:19):
speaking multiple languages.
Right?
Right now we have, I think there's sixgenerations in the workforce right now.
If you don't have the ability to speakto many different types of people in your
workforce, you have one way of leading.
And sometimes that can bereally, really polarizing.
And sure, your people are missingout, but you're missing out too.
HOST (Parker Kane) (24:42):
Ru geez.
Really well said.
Thank you for doing the breakdown on that.
I think it's an, yeah,
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (24:48):
thanks for asking.
HOST (Parker Kane) (24:49):
Yeah, absolutely.
Um, man, there's two different waysI kind of feel pulled right now.
I, I wanna talk about likeleadership stuff, but I also
am being pulled to like mm-hmm.
You know who the person listeningright now who, and maybe this.
We'll go this way.
It feels more natural.
Um, the person listening right nowwho was where you were as an opera
(25:11):
singer in getting those signalsof like, there's more out there.
Um, I don't feel like I'mfully being me, you know?
Mm-hmm.
What advice would you have for them asfar as recognizing those signals and
the first things to do to try to get.
Clear.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (25:31):
The first thing I would say is utilize all
your free resources that you can.
There are so many free resources out thereto start getting curious about yourself.
So, uh, the very, the very firstplace you gotta look is you, right?
You gotta go inside.
You gotta do that deep inner work.
Uh, what does that even mean?
Uh, read some books likearound self-development,
(25:53):
um, around healing around.
Um, expansion of your mindsetwith different ways of thinking.
So any leadership books out there,any self-development, self-help,
even the books around, like I've readmany different types of books about,
um, ways of thinking or religion.
I'm not a religious person.
(26:13):
But I do have a deep connection toSpirit, so I would say I'm a, a very
spiritual person, but I've read thingslike The Tree of Life and the Ying
and the Bag Gita, and so, you know,just to open up your mind around what.
People in different cultures thinkand feel and to be exposed to it.
(26:34):
So I think the mo more exposure you canget to other ways of thinking is the first
thing to ask yourself, what do I believe?
Not just what I was raised in orwhere I grew up, or my family of
origin, but what, what do I believenow at this point in my life?
I think, um, any, if you haveresources, I think anytime you can
(26:54):
work with a therapist or a coach.
Take it.
Uh, it's not mandatory.
You're, you're gonna be just fine if youdon't, and you will go so much quicker
finding your path around what you wanna bedoing in this world if you have support.
And I think a lot of people think,uh, that support is only for
people who are at a certain levelor, um, support is a privilege.
(27:18):
So it can be a resourceconversation, but if you can.
Take it.
I have seen so many people do sowell later in their careers in life
because they spent the time on thefront end taking care of their soul
and their bodies and their mind.
Um, healing traumas, being in 12step work, uh, being in communities
that support them in being, uh,loving and abundant right mindsets.
(27:43):
So those are some of theplaces I would start.
Tons of podcasts out there.
Listen to other coaches,listen to you, listen
HOST (Parker Kane) (27:50):
to
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (27:50):
your keynotes.
Go expose yourself to things.
Um, and then I think the, the nextplace I would point you is art.
You know, I, I think we'retalking about that here.
There's something magicalabout music, movies, theater.
Uh, paintings, anything that youcan expose yourself to that will
(28:11):
have you feel, because learning howyou feel is part of the package.
Uh, a lot of times we are not sonuanced with our emotional language in
the world, and this is how you learn.
How else would, you know, how you feelif you haven't stared at a painting
and said something like, I thinkthat's really weird, or, I feel nothing
right now, or, I feel everything.
(28:33):
Um, I was just, I was thinkingof you because my, my partner
and I were listening to, um.
Uh, the Frank Ocean album, um, orange,uh, course, I'm gonna have to look
it up, but we were listening to theFrank Ocean album and I, I missed it.
Like there, you know, many people knowthis album very, very well, and I was
not at a time where I heard it and I,I asked him to put it on the other day
(28:56):
to listen to it from start to finish.
And, um, I had this visceral experience.
In my body, a feeling emotionlistening to this music.
And, and that happens a lot.
But I was really present to, wow, I,I, I can't believe I didn't give myself
the gift of sitting and listeningto this before to get this, this
(29:18):
emotional swelling that was happeningjust from being exposed to new music.
So those are kind of all thearenas that I like to play in.
And, and again, to.
Listen and awaken your body and yourmind and your heart so that you can
then hear what you want to be doing.
HOST (Parker Kane) (29:36):
Amazing.
Yeah.
That's powerful advice, and I highlyrecommend anyone listening, you know.
As long as you're notdriving or something.
Right?
Yeah.
To, uh,
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (29:45):
not driving
HOST (Parker Kane) (29:46):
to rewind that, you know, and take notes, you know,
that's, that's a powerful like blueprintessentially of like a way to get unstuck.
And I would say, you know, that
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (29:58):
I'm so sorry I had to say it right.
I had to say it right.
Yeah, I will think about it forever.
Channel Orange, I just, amazing.
I just heard it, so
HOST (Parker Kane) (30:06):
I'm gonna listen to that right after this for sure.
Um.
I love that kind of stuff.
And I think you're hitting onsomething powerful too, with
creative expression, right?
Mm-hmm.
When you do that, there's,there's something authentic
about it where you just connectwith what's out there, you know?
Yeah.
Um, and you live more aligned,which is just beautiful.
(30:28):
And I want to kind of tie allthat back into something you
mentioned previous too, about trust.
Hmm.
Um, if I could add onto what youwere sharing, it would just be that.
The advice, you know, the little nudgeof advice to not get stuck there.
Mm-hmm.
Um, that's what happenedto me the last 10 years.
Yeah.
I got so swamped into personaldevelopment, podcasts and books
(30:53):
and stuff with not as much action.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (30:56):
Ah, good call.
HOST (Parker Kane) (30:57):
And so I just want to say like, do all
those things that she just said.
But do it as a way to like propel yourselfforward and like start acting on those
things that are authentically you, thatyou discover through doing those things.
Um, and as you do those little baby stepsof like keeping promises to yourself or,
oh, that's me, I'm gonna do more of that,and then you do more of that, uh, you
(31:21):
build trust with yourself and it's justlike this momentum that starts building.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (31:27):
So well said.
Thank you for, thank you for saying that.
That's really important.
It's really, really important.
And I think that's why a coach ora therapist is pretty cool to have
by your side, because they're gonnabe the ones that don't let you
off the hook when you wanna stop.
Right.
When you wanna sit inself-development land or, um, yeah.
It, it's just a beautiful shoutout to have somebody that's holding
(31:50):
you accountable to move forward.
HOST (Parker Kane) (31:52):
Right.
Yeah.
And even if it's, you know, if it's.
Hard to like afford a, areally high level person.
There's so many communities out there.
I mean, yep.
There's communities, forums,Facebook groups, zoom group.
Coaching groups, all kinds of thingsthat are really, really either
free or very, very affordable.
(32:12):
And you get with those like-mindedpeople, that's, I guess, a whole other
side we haven't even tapped into yetabout the proximity effect and Right.
And like yeah, who's who you're around.
But yeah.
Um, this has been a really powerful.
Conversation, and I'm curious ifthere's anything that I haven't asked
about or that you've had on your heartthat you wanna share that uh, we can
(32:36):
talk about to kind of wrap things up?
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (32:38):
I think I would share that, just a reminder that
everybody has something to offer.
I think sometimes peoplethink that they don't have.
Something grand enough or big enoughin the world to make an impact or
difference, and just by being youauthentically you, whatever that means,
that you have to go find that personinside of you and pull them out and
(33:00):
live that life in the world is enough.
It doesn't have to be showy or big.
It can be small and quiet aslong as it's authentic to you.
HOST (Parker Kane) (33:10):
Out of this conversation today,
this one's kind of tricky.
It.
It catches people, includingme off guard sometimes, but
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (33:18):
Okay.
I'm ready.
HOST (Parker Kane) (33:18):
Out of all of today's conversation,
what's like a standout moment ortakeaway that you would highlight?
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (33:28):
I think, I think the piece about just bringing humanity,
like even like not knowing the name ofFrank Ocean's album is a big deal, right?
And in that moment, instead of.
Going into shame or blame or,oh, I should have known, or
all the things that came up.
Definitely.
It's just trusting that the, theconversation and the intention is enough.
(33:49):
So that's, that's the moment, right?
Like that's what we're talkingabout on the whole show today.
HOST (Parker Kane) (33:54):
Love that.
Intention is a powerful word.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (33:57):
Yeah.
HOST (Parker Kane) (33:57):
Um, very cool.
Well, so what's next for you, Elena?
And what can, um.
Upbeat listeners do to help.
Like would you wanna send them anywhere?
Um, who's your ideal client?
Whatever.
Whatever we can do to help.
GUEST (Elena Armijo): Oh, that's really kind. (34:12):
undefined
That's very, very kind.
If anybody wants to help.
Come check out the csuite collective.com,the c suite collective.com.
Uh, you can find me there, youcan find the group of coaches
that I partner with in the world.
We're all up to some really cool stuff.
So if you, uh, wanna come our way andhave a conversation about anything you
(34:32):
heard today, we're always open to that.
Um, for.
A free conversation to just come andsee how we can support you in the world.
And then the Collective Corner, thepodcast, it's a small but mighty
podcast that has a lot of gems onit that I think it's a great free
resource that if anyone's looking forsomething immediately that they want
to take on from this, you'll probablyfind some nuggets there for yourself.
HOST (Parker Kane) (34:53):
Amazing.
Yeah, definitely highly recommend.
Uh, if, uh, depending on whenthis comes out, you know, might
need to scroll back a little bit.
Try to find my episode.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (35:02):
Yeah, it's definitely there.
HOST (Parker Kane) (35:04):
That's funny.
Um, cool.
Well yeah, it's been a pleasure.
Uh, really appreciate you being on Upbeat.
I close out every episodebeatboxing the guest's name,
so I'm gonna do that for you.
Are
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (35:16):
you serious?
I'm
HOST (Parker Kane) (35:17):
serious and I'm crossing my fingers that,
uh, it's gonna come through.
Okay.
'cause I had to switch out mics.
You know, the system's been alittle glitchy here and there,
but we'll give it our best try.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (35:28):
Okay.
I'm ready.
I'm so excited.
This is great.
Okay.
HOST (Parker Kane) (35:49):
Rubs.
Thank you, Elena.
Rub Elena or Mi.
This Elena rubs Elena or Mijo.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (36:01):
Oh my God, that's so fun.
Yes.
Thank, what did she?
Of
HOST (Parker Kane) (36:07):
course.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
GUEST (Elena Armijo) (36:10):
Gift.
My gosh.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna likemark that and keep it feeling low.
I'm gonna be like.
I hear myself.
HOST (Parker Kane) (36:18):
You're right.
Like your own little walkon beat or theme beat.
Exactly.
Amazing.
Well thanks for being on the showand everyone, thanks for listening.
Thank you.
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