Tucking in Your Drunk Dad!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
It's mojo in the morning. SoI this weekend, I did Dad's Day
with Luke for his fraternity go ahead, Kevki every time, every time anybody
started talking and they said theta kai. In my head I heard Kev's voice
saying and it was one of thecoolest things I've ever done. I loved

(00:20):
spending time with my baby. Lukeis the coolest to hang out with.
He is. I say this aboutall of my boys. They're fun to
go one on one with, andthen they're great when they're all three together,
and the three of them are likeso good with each other. But
it was cool to be able togo and see him in his element with
these fraternity brothers of his. Idid not understand fraternities. I actually was

(00:45):
trying to convince him not to doa fraternity, not understanding how much for
being in a fraternity or sorority reallyenables you your your you know, freshman
year or you know, whatever yearyou're going to school, to make the
school so much smaller because you're goingto a school that is as big as
Michigan State and now you've just madeit go down from thirty plus thousand people

(01:11):
that are there down to the couplehundred people that are now your closest brothers
in the world. And then youbecome friends with all the girls at the
sororities and the sisters and all thatstuff. So I got a chance to
actually become, you know, closewith the dads that were there, and
it was really cool to meet someof these dads who you know, I'm
his fraternity has kids from San Francisco, Chicago, Virginia, Boston, you

(01:38):
know that place known as Ohio,and they they have all these they've all
these kids from all over the place, like dad, Oh, their dads
all came. It was unbelievable.These dads all traveled in from different places.
We golfed on Saturday morning, wewent back to the fraternity house.
If the mothers only saw what itlooked like, they would have been devastated.

(01:59):
It was the dirtiest thing I've everseen in my life. Megan was
so right in saying Mom's you knowday. She had said this on Friday
in the show when we were talkingabout it. Mom's day is definitely in
the fall because that's when the houseis the cleanest, and then Dad's day
is the spring, when the houseis just a pig style. You're right,
You're right, I got it.Luke showed me Luke's gonna live in

(02:19):
the house next year. And Lukeshowed me the room that he's hoping to
get, which could quite possibly bethe hardest room that we're gonna have to
try to move into, because it'slike the like narrow hall all the way
up to the very very top inthe attic, so to speak. I
felt like it. I don't knowif you guys have ever seen the movie
Animal House, but there's a classicmovie animal House. I felt like I

(02:39):
was John Belushian animal House. Iwas raring and ready to go. And
then I felt that I was thinkingof Will Ferrell's old school and I was
ready to go streaking in the quada. Did you do another kegstance? I
did not. I did not,but I left that up to I left
it up to a dad from Rochesterwho I met. That was very very

(03:02):
cool, that that was awesome touh to talk to. He did the
Keg stand. He actually is aforeigner, was a former uh the kai
U fraternity brother Yeah had legacy.It was cool. So yeah, I
don't even know. I was ina broadcasting school. We didn't have.

(03:23):
We would have if we had fraternities. It would be a bunch of geeks
hanging around hooking up things to aYamaha speaker, So we we went to
the fraternity house. They barbecued forus raw burgers. I saw these kids
bringing out like packets of of meat, the you know that they bought at
Kroger, and they're like patting theburgers. After the kids are like,

(03:44):
you know, I'm like thinking,man, if I don't get COVID,
I'm getting lysteria, you know whatI mean. It was unbelievable. They
tapped the keg and I'm not abeer drinker because I got uh gluten allergy.
And thank god Joel Shambry, youremember Jenny shamber used to work here.
Jenny's son, Tye, is aTheta Kai brother of Luke's, one

(04:06):
of his big brothers. And Joelwas there with Tye. Joel door dashed
bourbon to the house and all ofa sudden, this kid come was walking
up with a bag of bourbon.I'm like, Joel, You're a master.
I love it. So we allhung out with each other and it
was so much fun. We thenwent to Harper's and we had our own

(04:26):
little spot on a patio which waslike a private area. But here's the
part that I wanted to bring up. And I only saw one dad.
Let do this, and I'm gonnacall the guy out because I saw dads
that bought tray's worth of shots forthe kids. I saw dads that were
buying, like I think I boughtlike twelve rounds that day. I look
back at my credit card, Ithink I honestly spent five hundred bucks on
booze at Harper's. And then wewent to eat afterwards to what's the Mexican

(04:50):
place called alas Tecar or something likethat. Oh, that place was so
good. So I saw one dadwho didn't understand that I would have been
exactly you if it wasn't that.I was on the radio. And there
are these things called phones, becauseI saw people videotaping everybody like you can't

(05:13):
do any And this is a messageto anybody that's in college or high school
or whatever, put your phones away, because this is what gets you in
trouble. Back when I was inschool, I'm going to tell you this,
we didn't have these, and guesswhat we did Exactly what you're doing
We never got in trouble because wedidn't have people documenting it. There was
a dad that was like dancing withthe girls and like the co eds and

(05:34):
stuff, and he was like basicallymaking it rain with everybody, and all
I kept seeing was his son basicallytrying to pull them back a little bit.
And I'm watching it the whole time, thinking to myself, this is
a great topic for Monday Morning Show. Have you ever had to parent your
parent? Have you ever had yourparent go so crazy partying wise that you

(05:58):
had to be the person to tuckthem in and put him to bed or
maybe take care of them because thenext morning they got a little crazy.
And I saw this dad at thetime when I probably had a little too
much of Joel Shembry's bourban, andI'm like, I'm pulling back. I
gotta stop this because I don't wantI stayed at the hotel, at the
Graduate Hotel. I didn't want Luketo have to tuck me in bed at

(06:19):
night. Could you imagine would beLuke and all of his buddies taking me
back to the hotel A kiss onyour forehead? Can I dad? I
think here's your room eight oh oneI'll see you in the morning, pops.
I'm like, oh my god.I like kept thinking to myself,
was I'm going to be that dad? And I did not want to do

(06:40):
that, but I wanted to knowif any of our listeners have ever had
to parent their parent where their parentgot a little too crazy and ended up
partying just a little too hard.I felt so bad for this poor guy
because I know the next morning thatpoor bastard woke up with probably twelve heads.

(07:01):
He probably will a lot of videosin his text messages. Oh,
I don't know, And honestly,I felt this is the part that I
felt the worst about with him.All I kept thinking to myself was is
he going to be proud of whathe did the next day? Or is
he going to the next day GoI don't think I'm coming the next year's
dad's day. I would. Iwas a little bit worried about about him.

(07:27):
When you're scared to check your textsfor photos and videos, never you're
not proud. Yeah, that's neverthe takeaway. I'm always got to check
those stories first thing in the morning. What did I post it is?
It's one of those Luke showed me, so I guess. The week prior
was Mom's Day for the sororities.They had. One of the sororities had

(07:48):
a Mom's Day and Luke showed mevideo of him dancing with somebody else's mom,
some girls mom, and this momwas like all over Luke, And
I ain't gonna tell you that.I'm too sad about it. I thought
it was Actually she was kind ofan attractive mom. She was definitely very
very hot. But I'm wondering ifhis mom knows that those videos are out

(08:11):
there, there's a there's a videoout there. Have you have you guys
ever, have you guys ever hadto do this? Like, my dad
was not my dad. I onlyremember him drunk, really drunk one time,
and I remember it was midday drinking, like he was like beautiful day,
like yesterday, and he was outdrinking and it went to his head
too far, you know, toomuch, and he missed dinner and we're

(08:33):
like, hey, where's dad,And we're like, let him sleep.
What's going on? I mean,I don't know if I got that.
I don't have any crazier, buty'all know my dad, y'all see my
dad, he likes to have agood hunt. Your dad is charming's we
met him for the first time onFriday. Yeah, he's flirty. Yeah.
Have you ever have you ever hadto have you ever been have you

(08:56):
ever been in a point where youget embarrassed by your props show? Oh?
Really? My dad likes to havea great time. He enjoys himself
to the fullest. And there havebeen moments. Yeah. I remember one
time he showed up to one ofJoe Siah's parties. Faded like I'm talking
about, like we had Chuckie cheesebro, Like, this ain't the time
for that. It's not it's notthe time for that. Yeah. Yeah,
have a conversation. But actually,isn't it though, because it's cheese.

(09:18):
No, not that jo live afour four six six five six five
four eight mal. We're talking abouthaving the parents the parents? What's up?
Yeah, I say, me andmy brothers. We was drinking Jamaican
web. So my father in lawwanted to you know, hey, what

(09:41):
is that? Wait? What isthat knowing? Oh, turn your radio
down? Turn turn the radio down. Okay, I thought you were in
that in the truck with that uhwith what's going on to work right now?
So long story short. You gota little too truck and fell off
the balcony of the porch and whodid you know? Them sticking bushes that's

(10:05):
about an inch and a half long, that's a little thick. Oh jeez,
this is your dad. He fellin there when they ripped his whole
top lip off and didn't think nothingof hero. When he got up,
his whole lip, top lip wasripped, ripped open. It i'ld not

(10:28):
saying. What did he sound likewhen he talks, laughing while even talking?
Oh my dad, he had toget thirty eight inches across the lips.
Oh jeez, I'm proud of you, Dad. You make again.

(10:50):
Thanks for the call, man,Jeffrey. What's happening? Yeah, my
myke Patther always told me you don'thave to streat. They have a good
time. And that not right?And what did he do? He got
hammered. We we had to helphim in the bed home. Do as

(11:11):
I say, not as I do, right, yep, Yes, sir,
that's the greatest. You got tolove when you got to actually lift
Dad's legs into the bed like that'sall I get picturing was that if I
was going to keep on drinking likeI was doing like, Luke's gonna have
to be all right. You gethis arms, you know, they're putting
me to bed. He's like hangingout with his best buddies. Uh,

(11:31):
you know John Reese and uh andBrian Lopez and you know, Zach Stagmeier
and they're like. I only keptthinking to myself, as these kids are
going to be carrying my ass home. I was their fifth and sixth grade
basketball coach. Now they're putting mein a tub in the bathroom of the
hotel. What's up, Hunter?Hi? Hey, how you doing good?

(11:52):
What's going on? Good? HNo? I just wanted to call
and tell my my dad. WhenI was young, When I was young
younger, my dad would, uh, he would walk around. He would
walk around with just with just withjust his underwear on, and we would
walk up you know, I wouldwalk upstairs and he would just be like,
oh, hey, just all nonchalant, like there's no big deal walking

(12:15):
around. Now. They had tobe boxers, right they were. They
were not boxers, No, theywere. They were not brief. They're
tidy whities, but they were grayusually drunk or was he just doing it
to do it? No, that'sjust my dad doing says, don't ever

(12:37):
bring dates over to the house whendad's walking around like that. Uh,
Selena, you had to actually parentyour mom? Oh my god, well
I didn't actually. I mean shewent to my bath word at party like
ten years ago, and uh sheended up getting so drunk that she told
me that she she passed out onmy grandma's front lawn. Oh my god,

(13:05):
we're all too lit and she,uh yeah, she ended up passing
out somewhere. Did you just leaveher sit there and then when people walk
by, you just go that's mymom probably would have. I was there.
Yep. Oh man, thank youfor the call. I appreciate it.
Take care of yourself. Yeah.Yeah. By the way, she's

(13:26):
invited to Megan's Bachelor to make sureshe comes to that. One last one,
Christina, how are you? I'mgood? How are you good?
Yours was having to parent your mom, not after alcohol, but after after
we after we she had like aton of cancers, and she had a
bone cancer one time, and afterthey removed it and everything, she couldn't

(13:50):
couldn't have her medicine that they gaveher, so like me and my best
friend gave her a one thousand milligramof THHD go. We why because she
was like in a lot of painand like she couldn't do anything, Like
she was just like kind of miserable, and like she she would like try
like edibles here and there, likejust like a little bite and it would

(14:11):
be fine. But like she wasin so much pain that we figured like
and she agreed to it too.Like I didn't like sneak it to her
or anything she didn't like, butshe was agreed to. You hate your
mom, no, you know,the poor lady needed to be without pain.
She was on cancer. You don'tgo to anybody else thousand a thousand.

(14:31):
It was okay, but she waslike she was like freaking out.
I was like using the bathroom withher boyfriend was like hanging up clothes in
the closet. We're like in separaterooms, and like when I came into
her room, she was like Iheard you guys talking. She's like,
I'm not going on that walk.She's like, you guys are not going
to kill me today. And likeI ended up having to like squeeze a
bunch of lemons and oranges and stufflike give her tart. Had her like

(14:54):
throw up like a fut seaboat tomake her think that she wasn't high anymore.
It was like, really, ohmy, so she was loose scinating
from now that it was fascinating offof weed. It was crazy. Oh
man, you know what, youbattle cancer like that, You can take
whatever you want, you can.Yeah, she's a poor lady. Oh
man, fifty once it's all God, you're oh my god,