49-Domestic Violence During the Holidays: Protecting Yourself and Others

The holiday season is often a time of joy and togetherness, but for many, it also brings heightened stress and danger, especially for those affected by domestic violence. Join me, Ingrid, as I share crucial insights into why instances of domestic violence surge during this festive period. From financial strain to the emotional toll of past traumas resurfacing, I explore the various pressures that escalate tensions and the unique challenges survivors face in seeking help during holiday closures. I offer practical advice for victims on how to protect themselves and their loved ones, from escape planning to setting boundaries, and maintaining mental well-being amidst the chaos.

This episode isn't just for those who are directly affected; it's a call to action for bystanders, family members, and colleagues. Learn how to spot the signs of abuse and establish safe communication methods to support those in need. Discover ways to provide moments of respite and foster an environment where victims feel supported and understood. Remember, abuse is never okay, and help is always available. Tune in for a heartfelt discussion aimed at ensuring a safer holiday season for everyone, and be sure to check the show notes for additional resources and information.

Sources:
https://www.cawc.org/news/why-domestic-violence-increases-during-the-holiday-season/
https://www.dvact.org/post/why-does-domestic-violence-increase-over-christmas
https://womenagainstcrime.com/domestic-violence-and-the-holidays-what-you-should-know/
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/safety-planning-for-the-holiday
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/safety-planning-with-children/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

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If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

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Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi Warriors, welcome to 1 in 3, I'm your host, ingrid
.
I know I said I was going tohave a guest on this week, but I
have some important informationI want to get out before we get
too much further into theholiday season.
The reason is because thisepisode is about just that the
holiday season.

(00:40):
While full of love and cheerfor many, it's often full of
dread and fear for others.
The already staggeringstatistics surrounding domestic
violence surge this time of year.
Some reasons for the rise inviolence include financial
strain, stress from work orfamily obligations and an

(01:02):
increase in alcohol and drugconsumption.
Remember the abuse includesviolent acts against children as
well.
It may also be difficult forvictims to secure assistance
with domestic violence agenciesdue to potentially reduced hours
surrounding the holidays.
We need to recognize thosesurvivors who have successfully

(01:23):
left their abusive homes mayfind the holiday season
difficult to navigate too.
Again, financial strain plays alarge role in this, but we have
to consider the emotional tollof feeling alone as well.
This time of year may also betriggering, as past memories of
violence can resurface.
So what are we supposed to dowith this information?

(01:46):
Well, listen up, because I'mgoing to give you some
suggestions For the victim orsurvivor.
Have an escape plan.
Get a bag packed and a safelocation secured in advance.
Make plans for your childrenand pets, if that applies to
your situation.
Check in with someone routinely, create a code word with that

(02:11):
person and make sure you areboth clear on what that code
means.
For example, come over or callthe police, etc.
You can also consider creatinga code word regarding your
mental health.
Like I mentioned before, workand family obligations are at a
high this time of year.
You may find yourself in acrowd that feels uncomfortable

(02:39):
or triggering.
Use the code word for yoursupport person to talk you
through or physically get youout of that situation.
Come up with ways to get out ofthe house, like present
shopping, getting groceries,taking pets to the vet or going
to doctor's appointments.
You may just need a break frombeing in the same environment as
your abuser, or you could takethis opportunity to run If

(03:02):
traveling.
Pay attention to opportunitiesfor escape if necessary.
Don't be afraid to setboundaries with anyone and
everyone and finally, keep yourmental and emotional well-being
in check.
Indulge in whatever self-carepractices you need to keep

(03:24):
yourself grounded.
If children are involved, makesure they are aware of safe
places within the home toretreat, if necessary.
Educate them on not gettinginvolved or stepping in during
violent attacks.
Create code words with them asto when to go to their safe

(03:44):
place or when to run away, etc.
Teach them who the safe adultsare that they can trust, and
consider having them stay withtrusted adults if anticipating
violent behavior For thebystander, family member or
colleague recognize signs ofpotential abuse.

(04:07):
This could include bruises orwearing long-sleeved clothing or
turtlenecks, regardless ofweather, in order to cover
injuries, using heavy makeup todisguise injuries.
There could be changes inpersonality, like becoming
withdrawn, becoming moreemotional, anxious, depressed or
avoiding social interactions.

(04:30):
Support the victim or survivor.
Do not abandon them, even ifyou are frustrated with them.
Let them know you are there forthem, despite not leaving their
abuser, and you are willing tohelp when they do decide to
escape.
Discuss safe ways tocommunicate with a victim or

(04:51):
survivor.
They may not be able to takephone calls or text messages.
Create code words, as Imentioned earlier.
Try to find ways to get thevictim or survivor out of the
house, even if it's only for ashort time.
Invite them to go shopping orto lunch or schedule a play date
.
Understand the victim orsurvivor, is doing what they can

(05:15):
to survive.
They are struggling.
They feel overwhelmed, confused, possibly embarrassed and, most
likely, alone.
And this information is foreveryone.
Contact the National DomesticViolence Hotline for questions

(05:35):
or assistance at any time bycalling 1-800-799-SAFE, that's
1-800-799-7233.
You can also text the wordSTART to 88788 or go to their

(05:56):
website, which is thehotlineorg.
Remember, it doesn't matter whattime of year it is or what the
excuse is Abuse is never okay.
Thank you for listening.
Sources for today are found inthe show notes.
I wish all of you a happy and,more importantly, safe holiday

(06:23):
season.
I'm going to be taking the nexttwo weeks off, but I will be
back next year with anotherepisode for you.
This time I will have my guest.
Until then, stay strong andwherever you are in your journey
, always remember you're notalone.

(06:44):
Find more information, registeras a guest or leave a review by
going to the website1in3podcastcom.
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(07:06):
One in three is a 0.5 Pinoyproduction music written and
performed by Tim Crow.