The words "narcissist" and "gaslighting" get thrown around a lot these days, but do we truly understand what they mean? In this powerful conversation with Nova Gibson, author of the bestselling book "Fake Love" and host of "Fake Love and Flying Monkeys" podcast, we dive deep into the insidious world of narcissistic abuse and why recognizing it could literally save your life.
Nova shares her expertise as both a survivor and therapist who exclusively works with victims of narcissistic abuse. She explains how these relationships follow predictable patterns—from the initial love bombing phase that hooks victims with a false persona, to the devastating devaluation that leaves them questioning reality. Using the chilling "frog in boiling water" analogy, Nova illustrates how abuse escalates so gradually that victims become acclimatized to increasingly harmful behavior without realizing they're in danger.
What makes this episode particularly eye-opening is Nova's breakdown of specific manipulation tactics. We explore how gaslighting systematically destroys a victim's ability to trust their own perceptions, how triangulation creates artificial competition between people, and how flying monkeys and smear campaigns work to isolate victims from support. Nova emphasizes that these aren't random behaviors but calculated strategies used by abusers across cultures and contexts.
The conversation takes an empowering turn when we discuss the growing legal recognition of coercive control as domestic violence, with Australia recently implementing legislation that has already led to criminal charges. Most importantly, Nova delivers the crucial message that narcissists don't change—and understanding this truth is the first step toward healing.
Whether you've experienced narcissistic abuse firsthand, know someone who might be suffering, or simply want to understand these dynamics, this episode provides validation, clarity, and hope. Connect with Nova's work through her book "Fake Love" or her counseling services to continue your journey of understanding and healing.
Nova's links:
https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/nova-gibson/
https://www.brighteroutlooknarcissisticabusecounselling.com.au/
https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/fake-love-and-flying-monkeys/id1748520586
1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.
If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.
Contact 1 in 3:
- Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
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- Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/
Thank you for listening!
Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe
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