July 30, 2025 • 49 mins
Nobody grows up thinking they'll become a human trafficking survivor. For Ali Allred, life began with childhood instability that created the first cracks in her foundation. Sexual assault at age three and eventual substance abuse as a teenager that formed a perfect storm of vulnerability that traffickers would later exploit.
Ali's raw, unflinching account reveals how trafficking often begins not with kidnapping, but through calculated manipulation. What followed was a nightmare of control, violence, and exploitation that spanned years and multiple traffickers. Making up to $10,000 daily while being allowed only $5 for herself, Ali experienced firsthand how thoroughly traffickers can strip away autonomy and identity.
The path to freedom proved treacherous. Multiple escape attempts, psychiatric hospitalizations, substance relapses, and system failures marked her journey. When she finally broke free, she faced the overwhelming challenge of rebuilding from scratch—without even basic identification documents. Yet through this impossible struggle, Ali discovered her purpose. "I never thought I would be a human trafficking, kidnapping, sexual assault or domestic violence survivor," she says. "It just happened and I have to live with it. At the end of the day, I want to take my pain and turn it not only into power but purpose."
Join us for this powerful conversation about survival against impossible odds. Ali's story isn't just about the horrific reality of trafficking—it's about reclaiming voice, agency, and meaning after unimaginable trauma. As she reminds us, "We've survived 100% of our worst days." If you or someone you know is struggling with exploitation or trafficking, resources are available. You are not alone.
Ali's links:
https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/ali-allred/
1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.
If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.
Contact 1 in 3:
- Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
- Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
- Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/
Thank you for listening!
Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, allie, I am super excited for you to come on
today.
You have an incredible, crazystory to tell and a lot of
information regarding youradvocacy as well, so we're going
to break this up into twoepisodes.
Episode one is your story.
Episode two we'll talk aboutyour advocacy, but I am so
appreciative of you coming onand taking the time today to go
(00:23):
over all of this information.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Well, thank you so much for having me on today.
It is an honor and a privilege.
I really admire what you'redoing.
This podcast is incredible.
Bringing awareness to theseverity of these issues is
imperative to making a change.
And you know, for me personally,as Allie all read, I never grew
(00:48):
up thinking these things wouldhappen to me.
Um, no one ever grows upthinking they're going to be a
human trafficking, kidnapping,sexual assault and domestic
violence survivor.
You know, as a kid I wanted tobe an actress.
I wanted to be a singer.
I wanted to be all the thingsthat I thought you know were
singer.
I wanted to be all the thingsthat I thought you know were
(01:08):
goals in my life and special andrainbows and butterflies.
You know what I mean.
But unfortunately, you know, um,I was not dealt a great hand.
Um, I was born to a prettyyoung mother.
Um, she was only married to myfather for about a year.
Um got divorced and I lived ina pretty volatile home.
(01:28):
You know, I had a lot of love,but there was a lot of
inconsistency and there was alot of fighting between my
family.
We primarily lived with mygrandparents, since my mom was
so young and she needed helpwith caretaking and she was
pretty absent the first sevenyears of my life, not
intentionally, just, you knowshe did the best she could and I
(01:50):
, you know, think that all thetime.
You know, she was going toschool she was doing whatever
she could, but I was primarilyin my grandparents' care and
they got divorced after 48 years.
So you can kind of imagine thevolatility that happened there
and my mom and my grandma justbutt heads, so you know when
they would get into fights.
She would pick me up, we wouldmove away to a friend's house
(02:11):
until you know resources ran outor money ran out, and then we
would come back home and it kindof just went like that.
On top of that, when I turnedthree, I started getting
sexually assaulted by my fatherand you know I remember doing my
first kind of sane kit with mymom and she was digging through
my private parts and I asked herwhat she was doing.
(02:33):
I was probably like five or six, you know, maybe five at the
time and she goes.
You know I'm looking for wormsand like at the time, like I
just knew that was not right,and she put me with hypnosis,
like I went under hypnosis.
I went through the legal system.
I did, you know, went withsocial workers, all sorts of
(02:54):
stuff, and ultimately there wasnot enough evidence to hold him,
so we just continued with life.
My mom ended up gettingremarried, uh, to my stepdad and
, uh, he legally adopted mebecause, you know, my father
obviously could care less aboutme and he gave up his rights to
me.
Um, you know he wasn't payingmuch child support so it didn't
(03:17):
really matter to him.
Uh and uh, you know, thingswere pretty good for a little
bit in my life and you know,things were pretty good for a
little bit in my life.
You know, my dad had aconstruction company at the time
.
He was a builder, so we wouldmove into spec homes and live
there for a little bit and movearound.
(03:37):
So I moved around a lot, youknow, during my life, and
especially in my childhood andmy adult life.
But you know I didn't have alot of stability.
And my adult life, but you knowI didn't have a lot of
stability.
I was really excited when mymom got pregnant with my first
sibling that I had prayed for.
I was very excited.
But, you know, once my siblingsstarted to be born, I kind of
(03:58):
felt like it was their familyand me and the dynamic really
changed for me and I eventually,you know, turned to drugs and
alcohol as a kid and I was about16 when I started drinking and
it was really affecting everyaspect of my life.
I eventually ended up, you know, being passed off to different
(04:18):
family members, you know,because no one could keep
custody of me.
I went back to my grandparents'house Um, you know, they were.
I remember, you know, taking aknife away from one of them and
using it as a talking stick onthe couch.
Um, you know, it was just likenow you talk, now you talk, now
you talk, kind of thing.
And it was just, it was.
(04:39):
I was like 17 at the time.
So my aunt in California waslike no, this isn't happening.
And swooped in and, you know,got custody of me.
And, you know, two weeks latermy uncle died of a heroin
overdose and I was just not in agood place and I just started
drinking and drugging even moreand I was probably 5'8 and 110
(05:01):
pounds.
I had developed trichotillomaniaas a kid, which means that you
rip out your own hair as aself-harm.
It's kind of like biting yournails, an uncontrollable urge.
I still struggle with it.
I've slicked my hair up becauseI still stress out, because I
still struggle with it, and thatgoes to say that these things
are everlasting.
(05:22):
Your childhood foundationreally does lay a solid
foundation of how it's going toaffect your life.
But it is in your control withhow you react to things.
But your hand, your adult, isnot in your control,
unfortunately.
But I ended up going to boardingschool and that's how I
graduated with a GED in Texas.
You know, after I graduated Ileft the boarding school.
(05:45):
I came back, moved in with mygrandparents.
They got divorced shortly after.
I tried being Mormon, as I wasraised for a little bit, because
I felt that was the right thing, even though that wasn't what
meshed with me.
But I ended up, you know,getting a college boyfriend.
We weren't necessarily in adomestic, but it was very toxic.
(06:06):
He was very mentally ill and Ididn't realize that.
I knew something was alwaysdifferent with me, but I hadn't
gotten a diagnosis.
At that time I was in my early20s, when we had broken up.
I checked myself inpatient tofigure out what was going on,
where I was diagnosed bipolar 1.
(06:27):
And I started an outpatienttherapy group for six months
where I met a group of fivepeople and then we became very
close.
One of them committed suicide,so the four of us became super,
super close.
I proceeded with my life.
I went to aesthetic school.
I worked as an esthetician fora doctor.
(06:49):
I became a patient carecoordinator, eventually ended up
leaving that job, became amedical rep and in 2020, after I
had got the great job you know,I had just adopted a dog, I had
just got my Audi, my dream car,everything.
I get a phone call.
I'm drinking wine you know it'sa Saturday night.
(07:13):
I'm watching Grey's Anatomy,not doing anything crazy, which
is really weird for me because Iwas such a party girl at that
time for me to be home doingthat, and so that was just so
odd because, like for me, like Iwas doing mushrooms on a
Tuesday, like you know, molly,on a Thursday, like you know, I,
I got an appendectomy from youknow, and I got shipped from the
(07:35):
T-Pain concert to the ER andthey couldn't even like operate
on me because I I was on Molly,my whole family showed up and it
was just like I was horrified,but I digress, you know.
So I get this call and it's oneof those people I had met in
the therapy group and he was animmigration lawyer.
(07:57):
We were very close.
I had, you know, babies, hadhis kids.
He had actually defended me ona rape case that I lost.
So, um, we wrote it, we weretight and he was hysterical.
I've never heard anyonehysterical like this in my whole
entire life.
And he said can you come checkon me?
And I said, well, I've beendrinking, you know I can't, I
(08:17):
can't come check on you, but, um, uh, you can call me an Uber,
and you know I can.
I can come see how you're doing.
I mean, I can't drive, but youcan call me an Uber.
And so I take an Uber overthere and I walk into the house
and there's a whole table fullof guns, passports, multiple
cell phones, ids and cash.
My stomach just dropped, myheart just dropped to my stomach
(08:41):
.
I felt like I was going tothrow up and I went to leave.
He grabbed me by the back of myhair, slammed me down and I
proceeded to get assaulted andbe you know for what felt like
days.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Was he the only person in the house?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Or were there other people?
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
There was no one in the house and he lived up in
kind of the hills of like way,kind of far out of the city in
Utah, so like the neighborsweren't close, he had just built
this house Like no one couldhear me screaming, no one could
hear me crying, and like he wasin a psychosis, I believe, of
some sort because he keptcalling me his ex-wife's name.
(09:20):
So I did what Oprah, you know,suggested to do and I humanized
myself.
I was like you know me.
We went to therapy together.
I'm Allie, like I went, likeyou know, I, you're hurting me,
you're hurting me, you'rehurting me, like all this stuff.
And eventually I was able tobreak away from him for a little
(09:41):
bit.
I ran upstairs, grabbed myphone as he was coming after me
I knew I wasn't getting out Ipressed voice record real quick
because it was one of the topthings.
I was a singer-songwriter, Iplay guitar and I sing, so it
was one of the top things.
When I scrolled down one of myapps, so I went boom, if I'm
going to die, people are goingto know how I die, right, which
is one of the things I broughtto court that you know he got
(10:05):
criminally charged, obviouslyfor.
But anyway, I ended up escaping.
I was hospitalized for my injury.
Short after, and two weeksafter that I tried to commit
suicide.
I'd take a whole bottle ofXanax, I'd take a whole bottle
of Ambien and I'd drink it downwith a bottle of rum or whatever
I was drinking at the time Ithink it was rum and I get, you
(10:30):
know, sent to the hospital.
They pink slipped me in Utah iswhat they call it.
So I had to go, not by choiceand once I was released from the
hospital, I went right back towork.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
I was having debilitating breakdowns at work
Debilitating Did they mandateany kind of therapy or anything
after that?
Or are they just like?
Good luck to you, goodbye.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
And yeah they.
I mean my boss, who you know,him and his wife I'm still close
with now.
They're like a second family tome.
He essentially told me Allie,look, you got to take a six
month unpaid medical leave or wegot to put you on unemployment.
And I was like fuck I was likeyou know, I got to go on
unemployment and which I nevereven filed for because I started
(11:17):
doing a ton of coke to stayawake because this man claimed
that he had ties with the cartel.
Later finding out he's sayinghe's laundering money for the
cartel.
All this stuff making all thesethreats, and these cars are
following me and detectives aretexting me saying do you
recognize this car?
Do you recognize this car?
And I can't sleep at night.
I'm doing a ton of cocaine withmy upstairs neighbor just to
(11:37):
stay awake, who was a dancer andtaught me a lot of my moves
later in life.
And you know, I met my ex whowas our dealer and he knew all
about my situation.
He knew all about me.
You know, he was from the EastCoast.
Like he was tough, he was hard.
He was a Nigerian ex-marine LAcrip, like you know, super tough
(12:00):
guy, which made me feel supersafe because I felt like he was
scarier than the person I wasdealing with.
You know what I mean.
So when I was losing myapartment he said you know, come
move in with me, I'll take careof you.
Like it's going to be fine.
I got to two weeks into it he'slaying hands on me, you know,
fast forward.
Um, you know I'm living in likethe only sketchy part of Utah.
(12:24):
Um, you know, uh, I I stillhave my dog at the time Her
name's Misha.
Uh and, uh, you know, I end upgetting pistol whipped, uh,
raped, drowned in a bathtub withaspirational fluid in my lungs.
He chips my tooth a plethora ofthings.
(12:45):
I even eventually lost my childfrom a beating during that time.
And you know, one of thesetimes, like I finally admitted,
I had like a problem and Icalled my family, like after I
lost my child, and I was like Ineed to go to rehab.
And so I went to rehab to getaway from him primarily, but
because of the Stockholmsyndrome and the abuse and
(13:07):
everything, I ended up AMA-ingout of there and going straight
back to him.
I was only there two daysbefore.
I was begging to come back andyou know, by the grace of
whatever I believe in, theyallowed me to come back.
But then I asked if we could docouples therapy.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Yeah, did he let you go to rehab, or did you have, to
like, sneak out and go?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
I wasn't living with him at the time, because this
was one of the many times that Iwould pick up and leave and say
I'm done, I'm never going back.
So this was.
I was already out at that point, but he was actively trying to
get me back, you know.
I was like you know, activelyat that time.
So he was happy to pick me upfrom rehab when I left early.
(13:53):
He was delighted, you know, andlike he, he also was delighted
when I left, because he he getssick of me, like you know what I
mean.
Like he only wants me when I'mbehaving and doing what he's
wanting me to do, and the secondI'm acting out of pocket, you
know that's when he doesn't haveany regard for me or my life.
(14:14):
Um, you know I actually hadgotten a job after I lost my job
as an IT rep.
I was a sales and marketingdirector for an IT company.
I sold BK, kenwood, motoroladevices to cops and firefighters
and I would have to show up toconferences with handprints on
my arm, which I mean I was aheavy alcoholic at that time,
(14:36):
doing a ton of cocaine too, andnot only that, he had me dealing
cocaine.
He would leave me for days at atime bagging up for him and
like it was a mess.
But I eventually lost that ITjob.
And then when I went to rehabyou know I actually still had
that IT job until I had gottenout of rehab and you know they
(14:57):
let me go.
I actually still had that ITjob until I had gotten out of
rehab and they let me go.
But now my old boss is totallysupporting what I'm doing in my
nonprofit.
But it was a really, reallyscary time for me.
I had even tried to leave toCalifornia once and I crashed
out and ran out of money and hadto come to him.
I tried to leave to Vegas once.
(15:18):
I almost got trafficked again.
That was the first time Ialmost got trafficked and he
ended up fleeing to Costa Ricaafter he got arrested because my
ex called the cops because heknew each other.
They had beef.
He was actually from.
When I met him, he was actuallyfrom Salt Lake and said cancel
your plane ticket.
I had run away from my ex.
(15:38):
At one point um went to go.
Someone told me to escort outthere, which was like the first
time I had done that, um, otherthan like when I had posted ads
of myself on Craigslist as areally young girl, uh.
But I didn't know what I wasdoing Right and so, uh, I went
out.
I ended up, uh, you know,basically getting robbed and I
met this dude who was like I'mfrom Salt Lake, cancel your
(16:02):
ticket, let's get married inVegas, let's do all this stuff
and we ended up.
He ends up driving this stolencar that I come to find out back
to Salt Lake, gets my stuff.
We go to stay in my family'scondo and then my ex calls the
cops on him and he gets arrestedbecause my ex wants me to come
back to him.
So that's a totally differentstory.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
I don't think I've ever told many people well not a
lot of people but um, you knowthat's crazy and so um so you
know, and meanwhile, the firstguy, the one like with all the
arms and all of that, is he.
He's in jail.
Is he still threatening you?
So?
Speaker 2 (16:36):
he's in jail and he bails out very quickly because
he's a lawyer.
How, oh my God, he's a lawyerand he's on an ankle monitor
which he keeps violating todrink.
He's like taking it off andlike putting alcohol on it or
like whatever he's doing to likedisable it, I don't know, but
(16:56):
like he kept fucking up, oh myGod, like whatever he's doing to
like disable it, I don't know,but like he kept fucking up Like
and like they still, like I'mstill in a civil lawsuit with
him, and like he got criminallycharged but you know how many
years later, almost five yearslater, you know I'm in a civil
lawsuit still with him andbecause of what happened to me
after that, like I'm losingBecause, like in the state of
Utah, they very much frown uponanything sexually related and
(17:22):
because I was trafficked afterthat, I have a losing case now
Because they couldn't get a holdof me for so many years after
that, because I had to keepchanging numbers, I had to keep
getting phones.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
You were hiding.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
I was hiding, yeah.
So eventually I go into hidingaway from my ex.
I'm renting I'm like 45 minutesout away from him.
I'm renting month to month andI start getting ketamine
treatments from the doctor Iused to work for, who sells me a
dream of safety him and hiswife.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
So she was in on it too, okay.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
And I move in 24 hours or so I assume I move in
24 hours to his house in NewHampshire and my car and my dog
gets driven by a friend at thetime you know all the way across
country and basically it didn'ttake long to realize that in
order to live there, I had toexchange services to him, which
(18:22):
meant I needed to work for freefor him and I needed to exploit
myself sexually for him.
So I am going back and forthfrom New Hampshire, isolated 30
minute drive from the nearestgas station.
Uh, just me and my dog, everyday.
Um, and then, uh, you know, weend up going to this.
(18:46):
He, he flies me and anothergirl out to, uh, st Pete's beach
where we ended up gettingassaulted, uh and raped and um,
you know a lot of stuff, about alot of bad stuff happened.
Um, you know, I was terrified,she was terrified.
We ended up going back.
The house that I was in floodedwhile we were on that trip.
He sent me back.
I'm sleeping in a debride house.
(19:08):
My neighbor finds me um, it'sme and my dog always.
And I go to my neighbor's housecause it was his summer house
and he wasn't using it duringthe winter said you can use that
Like you know really great guyand you know he's actually my
prescribing doctor at this point.
So he has me on Ambien, xanax,adderall, stocks up a full bar
(19:30):
for me Like I could have diedand he's withholding meds when
I'm not doing what he wants todo and then over-prescribing and
making it really dangerous.
So I end up getting multiplewellness checks called on me by
my friends in Boston and youknow people back home and one of
those wellness checks you knowI apparently got charged with.
(19:56):
Well, I got held on a chargefor criminal threatening with a
deadly weapon against a policeofficer.
I have no recollection of thisright Because you're medicated?
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Yeah Well, no, I was unmedicated at that time oh, you
were not medicated Because hewasn't prescribing my meds to me
, and so I went into withdrawaland psychosis.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
And plus I'm a heavy alcoholic at this point.
Like heavy, my face is swollen.
I'm drinking vodka all day, Ihave nothing to do.
I'm on a lake in the middle ofthe woods, for fuck's sakes.
And so, two weeks into jail,federal agencies show up.
They end up helping me and thenI was thrown in the system.
(20:37):
So I went from a detox or arehab to sober, living in
Massachusetts.
And then I get assaulted by aLyft driver and, um, I end up
going to a safe house for womenwho have been exploited and
trafficked and, um, you know, itfor me at the time was too
strict.
(20:57):
I ended up leaving after fourmonths.
I got placed in a program inVirginia where I ended up
relapsing.
My aunt flew out fromCalifornia, brought me back to
Massachusetts where my insurancewas.
I went through detox again.
You know, I went to a halfwayhouse specific for women who had
been trafficked and like, mindyou, I didn't want to get sober
(21:19):
any of this time.
I had to do it because I had tohave a roof over my head.
So I was a dry drunk.
I wanted nothing more but todrink and drug, but I couldn't
and I didn't have the money to,or I couldn't afford to, and so
I'm on Tinder just doing all thewrong things and I meet this
guy, you know.
And so I'm on Tinder just doingall the wrong things and I meet
(21:41):
this guy you know super, supersexy Jamaican dude with a neck
tattoo Like you know, just yeah,yeah, okay, like, oh my gosh,
there's so many things.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
How did the federal agents get you Like, were they
watching this guy?
Or how?
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Okay, I don't know, I don't know.
Well, I do think, now that Ithink about it, he did show up
to my court case with a bag ofmedications and flew into my
court case with a bag of meds,trying to get custody of me,
like Britney Spears.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
God.
So I think that was a red flagfor them and I think the jail
might have called them at thetime, you know, and so I digress
.
I mean, they show up, I wouldn'ttalk to them for two weeks.
I stayed two extra weeks injail because I thought I was in
trouble, right, like you know, Ithought this was, you know, my
(22:34):
problem, and so I was superscared.
But, you know, and I was stillin active psychosis, like I
thought I was pregnant with 50cents baby, I thought, like OT
Genesis was going to come pickup my dog, who I eventually lost
because my family and mytrafficker gave her up while I
was in jail.
I was devastated.
I still miss her to this day.
She's my best friend and thelogo for my nonprofit is
(22:56):
actually she looks exactly likeher and so that's why I use that
logo.
She was a German wolf mix.
Just, very, very precious,beautiful, okay.
But I met this Jamaican dude onTinder.
Okay, very, very, you know, hehad all the nice things and I
told him my whole story and hewas like thank you for being so
(23:17):
vulnerable with me and, you know, became my boyfriend and you
know, or you know, so it seemed,and you know, he starts
planting little seeds in my head.
He's like, you know, you don'thave to.
You're so beautiful Like youdon't have to do this, like you
could be a dancer.
I know so many clubs I couldget you into Y.
(23:52):
I know so many clubs I couldget you into yada, yada, yada.
I can get you an apartment, Ican get you.
You know, everything that Iwanted but that I didn't have
and I had no means of obtaining,you know, and so I ended up
leaving.
You know, I ended up meetingthis guy off of a sugar daddy
site because eventually hestarted pressuring me, saying
I'm not making enough money, I'mpaying his car payment, I'm
paying for the hotels, I'mpaying for everything, like
everything's coming out of mypocket.
You know I'm doing all thisfoul stuff at the club that I
didn't know I wasn't supposed to, because I've never been a
(24:13):
dancer before, right, and forvery little money, and I was
very unsafe doing that, and Ieventually, like got pressured
into getting on an escort sitewhich he set me all up with.
You know he chose the pictures,he managed it like you know he
(24:34):
was, he was pretty involved andum, you know, so I really didn't
want to be doing that ever andI so I wanted to like kind of
manipulate him in the system.
So I was like what if I go onsugar daddy sites, like I don't
have to like sleep with them,like I don't have to do anything
but I'm getting money?
So I meet this guy telling mystory, he invites me to his
(24:57):
house in Marshfield,massachusetts and I ended up.
You know my boyfriend at thetime, which is really a Romeo
pimp was what they call themthat pose as a boyfriend and
Romeo into exploitation.
You know he ends up showing upto that house.
You know that I was staying atand we get in a little tussle.
(25:19):
You know he backed me into acorner and was screaming at the
top of my lungs, at the top ofhis lungs.
Really triggered me because ofmy domestic.
I said, look, dude, you betterback the fuck up or get slapped
the fuck up.
And he wouldn't back the fuckup.
So he got slapped the fuck upand you know got a bloody nose.
Like all this stuff called thecops on me.
(25:40):
The cops show up, there's meand another girl there in
lingerie and like we tell himhe's a pimp you know all this
stuff and he has no registrationand the cops arrest him I mean
arrest me and her.
And we go to jail.
For what?
(26:03):
For assaulting him.
Yeah, I got a domestic violence.
I got an assault and batterycharge that I'm actually still
fighting right now.
Is that crazy, and they couldhave saved me right then.
They could have saved me rightthen from like all the rest of
the stuff that ended uphappening like right then.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
It's crazy, but I've heard there are so many stories
that are just like that, wherethe victim ends up getting
abused for defending themselves.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Right, I hear it all the time too.
I hear it all the time too, butanyway.
So he disappears and all I haveis that person that I met on a
sugar daddy website.
So I tell him my story.
He tells me a dream.
I move into the house.
You know, it didn't take longfor me to like not feel well
there.
You know I ended up trying tokill myself there.
(26:51):
And then I get out of the psychward and a week later he kicks
me out of the house because hesays I'm possessed and calls a
priest and like rids me of thehouse, gets oiled all down
because he's a nut.
This dude is a nut, I tell you,and you know I have nowhere to
(27:15):
go but my ex-boyfriend, and sohe ends up moving me.
We go to Beverly Hills.
I become a very high-end dancerin Beverly Hills and I start
noticing some really fishy stuff.
(27:35):
He is now, you know, copping upall this weed to like ounces
and ounces and ounces of weedhe's shipping back Like his
friends are now staying likeit's like a trap house right and
I'm dancing, I'm paying foreverything.
He's taking my money now andlike I'm hospitalized because he
has me working late, lateshifts, like long shifts at the
(27:55):
strip club, and you know I'm notsleeping.
I'm stressed because he has meworking late, late shifts, like
long shifts at the strip club,and you know I'm not sleeping.
I'm stressed.
I have to go to the hospital,like I was.
I was so sleep deprived.
They wheeled me into thehospital like this like, and
just pushed me.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
And they were like good luck, you know.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
And like they didn't even pick me up from the like
out of the hospital, I I had totake an Uber back, and so I had
threatened to leave him andquickly, you know, he
manipulated me into coming backto Massachusetts, you know where
he had me continue escorting,paying for everything.
I'm staying in these super,super sketchy motels.
(28:31):
And then I was like do you notknow anyone here that we could
stay with?
You're fucking from here, bro,how do you not know anyone here?
And he's like actually I dohave someone that I wanted to
introduce you to.
That someone is a gorilla pimpand hadn't claimed to be
anything but that.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
So what's a gorilla pimp versus Romeo pimp?
A Romeo pimp is a sweet talker,A gorilla pimp versus a Romeo
pimp.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
A Romeo pimp is a sweet talker, the one that kind
of grooms you and gets you usedto the life and acts like your
boyfriend and you even bringthem home to your family.
They're in your Christmaspictures, like all that stuff.
They're gorilla pimps, so theytake your money by manipulation
kind of thing and groom you.
A gorilla pimp takes it byforce.
(29:15):
Okay, they're much morevolatile and aggressive.
So eventually I end up gettingpassed off to this dude, this
gorilla pimp, and the Romeo pimpdisappears and I'm stuck with
this dude I have no idea in thehood of Worcester, massachusetts
(29:36):
, which is not a good area, andif anyone knows about Worcester,
it's not good, and he's alsoJamaican as well too.
So, it is a little potentialring and I didn't talk to this
(29:57):
man for three fucking days andthen he went into Walmart.
One time I went to Walmart hegave me $100.
I went and bought a bunch ofair dusters and I'm in his car
going as much as I could.
I almost overdosed in his carand then he came and ripped it
out of my hand and said I don'ttrust you with money.
Like we need to take care ofyou, like I'm going to handle
your money from here on out,like I want to make sure you're
(30:18):
safe, like.
And that's how he first startedtaking my money.
So now I'm becoming a full-timeescort.
Um, he is no longer allowing meto dance.
(30:40):
He forced me into prostitution,um, you know, and you know he
was nice enough to let me pickmy own prices, um, within reason
, uh and uh, you know I hadclients that were, you know I
was primarily in New York and,uh, cape Cod, uh, but I worked
all over the United States andlike he was very, very good at
this, like he had been doing itfor a very long time 20, 22 or
23 years, I want to say Um hadmultiple women at a time, like,
(31:01):
at that time I think I was hisonly one, because he had, like
he was older and like you know,I think he had kind of like died
down a little bit and was youknow, I don't know what happened
, but like he was always with me.
I was never alone, even when Ihad a date.
He'd be parked right outsidewaiting for me and I'd get in
the car and he goes where's mymoney?
And he's like you know, he'slike you know, are you going to
(31:23):
give it to me or am I going totake it by force, like kind of
thing.
And so I'm terrified, but alsoI don't know what's happening,
because he's saying he loves me,he wants to protect me.
Like I'm very confused andmanipulated and from a young age
I had come to believe thatabuse was love, right, and so I
brought that into my life.
I had all the red flags and thevulnerabilities of a
(31:46):
trafficking victim.
You know I was sexuallyassaulted as a kid.
I grew up in volatility.
I had instability.
Like I had been in a domesticyou know 85% of sex workers had
been abused as a kid.
70% had been in a domesticprior.
I was mentally ill.
I had addiction issues, likeyou know, I fit the ticket for
him and you know there was.
(32:08):
It just got worse and worse overthat point.
Like, he took me on a road tripback to Utah to like meet, meet
my family, to like assure themI was safe, which they knew.
Like my dad told him.
He was like, don't even bringthat man over to my house.
Or, like you know, I'm going tobring a shotgun.
And so, like you know, theyknew what was going on, but I
didn't.
Somehow, like you know, I wasjust so confused until we had
(32:32):
gotten back from that trip andyou know he started putting me
in like hotels with no windows,no showers, communal showers
Like you know, I'm sleeping inthe same bed that I had sex with
multiple men in not being ableto shower, eating out of vending
(32:54):
machines.
He also had me, you know,dealing crack at the time as
well too, because he was a crackdealer.
So not only was.
I had to be a prostitute but Ihad to deal crack cocaine.
I had clients that were Voguemodels and then I had clients
that were on ankle monitors forhomicide investigations.
So yeah, Terrifying.
(33:19):
Yeah, and they were veryaggressive to me.
Let me just state that, likethey were very aggressive, I
went, had a lot of veryaggressive clients, I was
bruised up all the time, um anduh, you know, ultimately, uh, he
started trusting me a littlebit and I kind of like I
realized that what was happeningto me at that time and I knew I
had to get out.
So I kind of like gained histrust until he allowed me to
(33:42):
like work independently for acouple of days at a time and
then he would come back andcollect the money and move me
into a different location.
So I was moving every 24, 72hours right To either a
different city or a differentstate or you know somewhere, and
I was primarily unmedicated, anunmedicated bipolar one PTSD,
(34:02):
anxiety, all that stuff.
Like you know, I should havebeen on meds and you know.
So I remember, you know, rightbefore I had left him, which he
wouldn't let me have more than$5 at a time, by the way, I was
making $7,000 to $10,000 a dayfor him.
I calculated, took all thescreenshots, everything like of
the money transfers andeverything $7,000 to $10,000 a
(34:24):
day.
He gave me $5 a day, which Iwould have to argue with him
over why I was entitled to that,but anyway.
So I was in the Bronx, I was inthis horrible rundown hotel that
he left me at for days.
You know, I heard this womanget beat and raped next to me
(34:45):
all night.
I was in fetal position in thecorner, just so triggered, and I
said this is my last fuckingday doing this, like I know, I
have to get out or die.
Trying, you know, and I tookthe $30 to my cash out that he
didn't know I had and I called afriend who lives in Jersey and
asked him to put me up in anAirbnb.
(35:06):
He did.
I started working independently.
Three days later someone brokeinto my Airbnb and raped me
brutally.
They had the passcode and Idon't know what happened, but
you know I knew.
After that I relapsed.
I went into a psychosis where,you know, I literally thought I
(35:27):
was like a Russian hitman forthe mob, like I was not well.
And then I get jumped inBrooklyn and left naked face
down in the streets of Brooklynby two what looked like two
Jamaican men.
So I think I was set up by mypimp.
I was about to ask, which heclaimed to do, no matter what if
(35:47):
I left.
You know they brought me to thehospital and you know I left
the life in a hospital gown andI called my family.
No one was coming to get me.
I called my pimp.
He wouldn't come and get me soI had no one to call.
But the guy I met on a sugardaddy site who was emailing me
(36:08):
and harassing me like just like,was obsessed with me Like
through this whole time.
Obsessed with me.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Obsessed, even though you're possessed.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Yes, he is.
He's a yes.
And so he picks me up.
I go back to Massachusetts andit doesn't take me long to
realize he's a psycho, and so Icall for a safe bet.
At the hospital, the cops showup, take me away in an ambulance
.
I go to the hospital, I'm in thepsych ward for a couple weeks,
for a couple of days, getreleased to I'm still in
psychosis, get released to asober house, which I eventually
(36:39):
had to go back to the psych wardfor about a month, and then I
got released again to anotherhalfway house and I still didn't
feel well.
And, mind you, I have nodocumentation at this time.
I have no birth certificate, Ihave no social, I have no ID.
I have nothing, nothing,nothing.
And so I was overwhelmed, youknow, very suicidal, very
homicidal, you know all thesidles.
(37:00):
And I went back to the psychward, where I also realized that
, like these delusions weren'treal.
And, you know, I finally cameto found proper medication, went
to a halfway house where peoplewere bullying me for my story.
I didn't want to be there.
So I went back to the dude thatI was dealing with and you know
(37:21):
we were in separate bedrooms.
I had laid my boundaries, saidyou know, I don't want to have
sex with anyone, I don't want tohave a relationship with anyone
.
Like, I just want to rebuild mylife.
Of course, I'll help you.
I don't want anything from you.
As soon as I started to rebuildmy life and make my nonprofit
and get my job and talk aboutmoving out and all this stuff,
all of a sudden it changed.
He became this entirelydifferent person.
He like wanted to marry me andI said no and he made it
(37:44):
impossible for me to leave.
He put everything in his name.
Um, he just made my life aliving hell.
Um, no wonder your familydoesn't love you.
Like all the, all this stuff.
I finally was just done and Iwas calling everyone under the
(38:05):
sun to like allow me to likestay with them.
I'm calling every shelter I'mdoing.
They're all full.
And then someone you knowthrough an anti-trafficking
organization here inMassachusetts called Treasure
Life Initiative.
They're amazing.
Uh, one of their foundersallowed me to come stay at their
house and we're really goodfriends now.
(38:26):
Um, and you know, I found whereI live now and, uh, you know, I
was able to maintain my jobthroughout it all.
But, um, you know, I'm stillrebuilding my life, and it
doesn't matter how long you'vebeen out of the situation
whether it's, you know, a month,six months, a year.
It takes a long time to likeheal and it takes forever to
(38:49):
heal, and you have to deal withdifferent challenges every
single day.
But, like I said, I neverthought I would be a human
trafficking, kidnapping, sexualassault or domestic violence
survivor.
It just happened and I justhave to live with it.
You know, because life moves on, with or without you and, like
(39:11):
at the end of the day, I want totake my pain and not only turn
it into power but purpose.
You know, this is just what Ihave done in my nonprofit as
well too, which we will talkabout at a different time.
But I think it's reallyimportant to talk about the
vulnerabilities and why I sharethe entirety of my story and the
details of my personal life,because it's in my childhood,
(39:34):
which is not going to make a lotof people in my family happy,
but at the same time, likepeople need to know the
realities of these things andthat people don't choose to have
these things happen to you.
Probably only about 10% of sexworkers are actually doing it by
choice and only 1% make it outand stay out, and less than 1%,
you know.
(39:54):
People go missing all the timeand they never come back.
Unfortunately, people die inthis.
They either die at the hands ofothers, die at the hands of
themselves, or they OD.
And that's like the reality.
But I could go on forever aboutthis topic because it is so
dear to my heart.
But I've taken my experienceand I've, you know, turned it
(40:18):
into helping others.
It's not an easy journey, youknow.
Survivors, as you know, can betough to deal with, including
myself Like dealing with myselfis tough at times.
But I think that what I wentthrough was for a reason and,
you know, for a long time Ididn't realize that purpose and
(40:39):
I felt so empty until I startedhelping others.
And you know, these survivorsthat I deal with heal me, and so
I feel very grateful that Icould come on and spread some
awareness about my story.
So thank you for that, ingrid.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
Thank you so much, allie, for coming on.
It's um, there's just, there'sso much.
I mean there are so many placesthroughout your life, starting
at three years old, where onesmall little intervention would
have stopped it.
Intervention would have stoppedit and you would have gone down
(41:20):
a completely different path.
And I think by you telling yourstory, that helps bring
awareness and that hopefullywill help somebody recognize
situations like this and thenthey can intervene, they can be
that person that changes thetrajectory of this life.
I had no idea one person getout of sex work.
That's what you said.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Yep only 1%.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
That's crazy to me.
That's so, so scary.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Only 1% make it out, and so it's just really crazy.
But I'm so happy to spreadawareness on this topic today
and I just want to thank you somuch for bringing me on today.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
I mean I feel like I have to like overdo the
appreciative, like feelings Ihave right now, because that's
when it's so vulnerable to gothrough and tell that story and
share that story.
But then you're doing it withthe purpose of raising awareness
and trying to help others andyou're the source of where
(42:23):
people can identify with and Ithink when you have people like
yourself telling your story andsharing your story, it erases
some of the shame that somebodywho has gone through even just
one piece of what you wentthrough it helps erase their
shame of like, okay, this isn'tmy fault and none of it is.
None of it is.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
None of it is.
We have these comorbidities inthe medical field.
They call it right.
We have these comorbiditiesthat make us vulnerable to other
tragedies.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
Right, right, and there's no reason to ever
apologize for anything that,like, somebody else caused, like
did to you, right?
You know, this is a life that,because of what other people did
to you, that's, I mean, youwere just surviving and trying
to survive.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
I have been in constant fight or flight until
actually, like a week ago orthis week, until I completely
eliminated myself out of theman's life that I met on that
site and was completelyindependent on my own.
You know, I was just in aconstant state of fight or
flight, right and so at thattime, you know, with the fight
or flight response, like it tookforever for me to calm down, um
(43:35):
, up until recently, and likethat was just, you know,
something that I didn't evenrealize until after it happened,
until, like that calmness andall of a sudden I felt like I
could breathe.
Like I felt like what?
And like I got this.
Like how do I explain it?
Like I was heavy in my energyfor like a long time because I
(43:56):
was so heightened for so long.
It took me like a week toadjust, like it was a week ago,
like it was a week ago that Iremoved myself from him and,
like you know, I've been out ofthe life almost nine months.
So, like, be patient withyourself, be patient with your
healing, be patient and begrateful because we fought so
(44:17):
hard to see this life.
We can't be ungrateful for alife we fought so hard to see.
And guess what?
We've survived 100% of ourworst days.
You know, we got to take ourpower back, take our voices back
.
We have to use our voices tospread awareness.
We have to use our resourcesand our network to make a
difference, because there aren'ta lot of options for people you
(44:40):
know, like us.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Right.
And not everyone has theability to speak out to share
their stories.
How did you get your identity?
Like you had no documentation,how did you get all of that?
How did?
Speaker 2 (44:52):
you get all of that.
I had to go reapply foreverything and it took forever.
I still don't have a license Iget at August 6th because the
dude I was dealing with when Imoved out of his house withheld
my vital documentation and thenI missed my appointment.
Oh my gosh, that I had waitedlike months to get, so I had to
wait more months to get it.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
I mean like one.
Your story gives an opportunityfor people to identify with and
, like I said, erase some of theshame, but then the resilience
that you have.
It also gives hope to peoplelike my God Allie.
If you can overcome that, whatwas it like?
40 minutes worth of this story?
(45:35):
You know, if you can overcomethat no documentation and then
create this independent life Imean, anybody can do it.
And not only are you justsurviving for yourself and
healing yourself, you're alsoadvocating for others, and
(45:57):
that's what we're going to getinto in the next episode.
I can't wait.
I know I'm so thrilled Beforewe end this one and we'll go
over in the next episode too,but do you want to give some of
your socials and how people canreach you?
Whatever you want to share.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
So my name is Allie Allred.
You can find me wearing red onmy Facebook, my Instagram, which
is tappedASF crazy ASF becauseI don't care but also we have
pages Survivors to Safety,Survivors to Safety on Instagram
(46:36):
and Facebook, and we have apodcast called Pain to Power.
Our first episode is calledYou're Safe here.
It's a wolf logo, so, yeah, youcan find me there.
Speaker 1 (46:47):
Okay, great.
Well, we will talk again innext week's episode with all the
good stuff.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Thank you again, allie, for joining me today and
sharing your incredible story,and thank you, warriors, for
listening.
I've included the link toAllie's 1 in 3 profile, along
with other resources she wantedto share in the show notes, so
make sure to check those out.
Allie and I will be back nextweek with a follow-up episode in
(47:23):
which we will discuss herpowerful advocacy work and the
podcast she now leads.
Until then, stay strong andwherever you are in your journey
, always remember you are notalone.
Speaker 3 (47:57):
Always remember you review and subscribe.
One in three is a 0.5 Pinoyproduction music written and
performed by Tim Crow.
© transcript Emily Beynon.
Hi, allie, I am super excited for you to come on
today.
You have an incredible, crazystory to tell and a lot of
information regarding youradvocacy as well, so we're going
to break this up into twoepisodes.
Episode one is your story.
Episode two we'll talk aboutyour advocacy, but I am so
appreciative of you coming onand taking the time today to go
(00:23):
over all of this information.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Well, thank you so much for having me on today.
It is an honor and a privilege.
I really admire what you'redoing.
This podcast is incredible.
Bringing awareness to theseverity of these issues is
imperative to making a change.
And you know, for me personally,as Allie all read, I never grew
(00:48):
up thinking these things wouldhappen to me.
Um, no one ever grows upthinking they're going to be a
human trafficking, kidnapping,sexual assault and domestic
violence survivor.
You know, as a kid I wanted tobe an actress.
I wanted to be a singer.
I wanted to be all the thingsthat I thought you know were
singer.
I wanted to be all the thingsthat I thought you know were
(01:08):
goals in my life and special andrainbows and butterflies.
You know what I mean.
But unfortunately, you know, um,I was not dealt a great hand.
Um, I was born to a prettyyoung mother.
Um, she was only married to myfather for about a year.
Um got divorced and I lived ina pretty volatile home.
(01:28):
You know, I had a lot of love,but there was a lot of
inconsistency and there was alot of fighting between my
family.
We primarily lived with mygrandparents, since my mom was
so young and she needed helpwith caretaking and she was
pretty absent the first sevenyears of my life, not
intentionally, just, you knowshe did the best she could and I
(01:50):
, you know, think that all thetime.
You know, she was going toschool she was doing whatever
she could, but I was primarilyin my grandparents' care and
they got divorced after 48 years.
So you can kind of imagine thevolatility that happened there
and my mom and my grandma justbutt heads, so you know when
they would get into fights.
She would pick me up, we wouldmove away to a friend's house
(02:11):
until you know resources ran outor money ran out, and then we
would come back home and it kindof just went like that.
On top of that, when I turnedthree, I started getting
sexually assaulted by my fatherand you know I remember doing my
first kind of sane kit with mymom and she was digging through
my private parts and I asked herwhat she was doing.
(02:33):
I was probably like five or six, you know, maybe five at the
time and she goes.
You know I'm looking for wormsand like at the time, like I
just knew that was not right,and she put me with hypnosis,
like I went under hypnosis.
I went through the legal system.
I did, you know, went withsocial workers, all sorts of
(02:54):
stuff, and ultimately there wasnot enough evidence to hold him,
so we just continued with life.
My mom ended up gettingremarried, uh, to my stepdad and
, uh, he legally adopted mebecause, you know, my father
obviously could care less aboutme and he gave up his rights to
me.
Um, you know he wasn't payingmuch child support so it didn't
(03:17):
really matter to him.
Uh and uh, you know, thingswere pretty good for a little
bit in my life and you know,things were pretty good for a
little bit in my life.
You know, my dad had aconstruction company at the time
.
He was a builder, so we wouldmove into spec homes and live
there for a little bit and movearound.
(03:37):
So I moved around a lot, youknow, during my life, and
especially in my childhood andmy adult life.
But you know I didn't have alot of stability.
And my adult life, but you knowI didn't have a lot of
stability.
I was really excited when mymom got pregnant with my first
sibling that I had prayed for.
I was very excited.
But, you know, once my siblingsstarted to be born, I kind of
(03:58):
felt like it was their familyand me and the dynamic really
changed for me and I eventually,you know, turned to drugs and
alcohol as a kid and I was about16 when I started drinking and
it was really affecting everyaspect of my life.
I eventually ended up, you know, being passed off to different
(04:18):
family members, you know,because no one could keep
custody of me.
I went back to my grandparents'house Um, you know, they were.
I remember, you know, taking aknife away from one of them and
using it as a talking stick onthe couch.
Um, you know, it was just likenow you talk, now you talk, now
you talk, kind of thing.
And it was just, it was.
(04:39):
I was like 17 at the time.
So my aunt in California waslike no, this isn't happening.
And swooped in and, you know,got custody of me.
And, you know, two weeks latermy uncle died of a heroin
overdose and I was just not in agood place and I just started
drinking and drugging even moreand I was probably 5'8 and 110
(05:01):
pounds.
I had developed trichotillomaniaas a kid, which means that you
rip out your own hair as aself-harm.
It's kind of like biting yournails, an uncontrollable urge.
I still struggle with it.
I've slicked my hair up becauseI still stress out, because I
still struggle with it, and thatgoes to say that these things
are everlasting.
(05:22):
Your childhood foundationreally does lay a solid
foundation of how it's going toaffect your life.
But it is in your control withhow you react to things.
But your hand, your adult, isnot in your control,
unfortunately.
But I ended up going to boardingschool and that's how I
graduated with a GED in Texas.
You know, after I graduated Ileft the boarding school.
(05:45):
I came back, moved in with mygrandparents.
They got divorced shortly after.
I tried being Mormon, as I wasraised for a little bit, because
I felt that was the right thing, even though that wasn't what
meshed with me.
But I ended up, you know,getting a college boyfriend.
We weren't necessarily in adomestic, but it was very toxic.
(06:06):
He was very mentally ill and Ididn't realize that.
I knew something was alwaysdifferent with me, but I hadn't
gotten a diagnosis.
At that time I was in my early20s, when we had broken up.
I checked myself inpatient tofigure out what was going on,
where I was diagnosed bipolar 1.
(06:27):
And I started an outpatienttherapy group for six months
where I met a group of fivepeople and then we became very
close.
One of them committed suicide,so the four of us became super,
super close.
I proceeded with my life.
I went to aesthetic school.
I worked as an esthetician fora doctor.
(06:49):
I became a patient carecoordinator, eventually ended up
leaving that job, became amedical rep and in 2020, after I
had got the great job you know,I had just adopted a dog, I had
just got my Audi, my dream car,everything.
I get a phone call.
I'm drinking wine you know it'sa Saturday night.
(07:13):
I'm watching Grey's Anatomy,not doing anything crazy, which
is really weird for me because Iwas such a party girl at that
time for me to be home doingthat, and so that was just so
odd because, like for me, like Iwas doing mushrooms on a
Tuesday, like you know, molly,on a Thursday, like you know, I,
I got an appendectomy from youknow, and I got shipped from the
(07:35):
T-Pain concert to the ER andthey couldn't even like operate
on me because I I was on Molly,my whole family showed up and it
was just like I was horrified,but I digress, you know.
So I get this call and it's oneof those people I had met in
the therapy group and he was animmigration lawyer.
(07:57):
We were very close.
I had, you know, babies, hadhis kids.
He had actually defended me ona rape case that I lost.
So, um, we wrote it, we weretight and he was hysterical.
I've never heard anyonehysterical like this in my whole
entire life.
And he said can you come checkon me?
And I said, well, I've beendrinking, you know I can't, I
(08:17):
can't come check on you, but, um, uh, you can call me an Uber,
and you know I can.
I can come see how you're doing.
I mean, I can't drive, but youcan call me an Uber.
And so I take an Uber overthere and I walk into the house
and there's a whole table fullof guns, passports, multiple
cell phones, ids and cash.
My stomach just dropped, myheart just dropped to my stomach
(08:41):
.
I felt like I was going tothrow up and I went to leave.
He grabbed me by the back of myhair, slammed me down and I
proceeded to get assaulted andbe you know for what felt like
days.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Was he the only person in the house?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Or were there other people?
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
There was no one in the house and he lived up in
kind of the hills of like way,kind of far out of the city in
Utah, so like the neighborsweren't close, he had just built
this house Like no one couldhear me screaming, no one could
hear me crying, and like he wasin a psychosis, I believe, of
some sort because he keptcalling me his ex-wife's name.
(09:20):
So I did what Oprah, you know,suggested to do and I humanized
myself.
I was like you know me.
We went to therapy together.
I'm Allie, like I went, likeyou know, I, you're hurting me,
you're hurting me, you'rehurting me, like all this stuff.
And eventually I was able tobreak away from him for a little
(09:41):
bit.
I ran upstairs, grabbed myphone as he was coming after me
I knew I wasn't getting out Ipressed voice record real quick
because it was one of the topthings.
I was a singer-songwriter, Iplay guitar and I sing, so it
was one of the top things.
When I scrolled down one of myapps, so I went boom, if I'm
going to die, people are goingto know how I die, right, which
is one of the things I broughtto court that you know he got
(10:05):
criminally charged, obviouslyfor.
But anyway, I ended up escaping.
I was hospitalized for my injury.
Short after, and two weeksafter that I tried to commit
suicide.
I'd take a whole bottle ofXanax, I'd take a whole bottle
of Ambien and I'd drink it downwith a bottle of rum or whatever
I was drinking at the time Ithink it was rum and I get, you
(10:30):
know, sent to the hospital.
They pink slipped me in Utah iswhat they call it.
So I had to go, not by choiceand once I was released from the
hospital, I went right back towork.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
I was having debilitating breakdowns at work
Debilitating Did they mandateany kind of therapy or anything
after that?
Or are they just like?
Good luck to you, goodbye.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
And yeah they.
I mean my boss, who you know,him and his wife I'm still close
with now.
They're like a second family tome.
He essentially told me Allie,look, you got to take a six
month unpaid medical leave or wegot to put you on unemployment.
And I was like fuck I was likeyou know, I got to go on
unemployment and which I nevereven filed for because I started
(11:17):
doing a ton of coke to stayawake because this man claimed
that he had ties with the cartel.
Later finding out he's sayinghe's laundering money for the
cartel.
All this stuff making all thesethreats, and these cars are
following me and detectives aretexting me saying do you
recognize this car?
Do you recognize this car?
And I can't sleep at night.
I'm doing a ton of cocaine withmy upstairs neighbor just to
(11:37):
stay awake, who was a dancer andtaught me a lot of my moves
later in life.
And you know, I met my ex whowas our dealer and he knew all
about my situation.
He knew all about me.
You know, he was from the EastCoast.
Like he was tough, he was hard.
He was a Nigerian ex-marine LAcrip, like you know, super tough
(12:00):
guy, which made me feel supersafe because I felt like he was
scarier than the person I wasdealing with.
You know what I mean.
So when I was losing myapartment he said you know, come
move in with me, I'll take careof you.
Like it's going to be fine.
I got to two weeks into it he'slaying hands on me, you know,
fast forward.
Um, you know I'm living in likethe only sketchy part of Utah.
(12:24):
Um, you know, uh, I I stillhave my dog at the time Her
name's Misha.
Uh and, uh, you know, I end upgetting pistol whipped, uh,
raped, drowned in a bathtub withaspirational fluid in my lungs.
He chips my tooth a plethora ofthings.
(12:45):
I even eventually lost my childfrom a beating during that time.
And you know, one of thesetimes, like I finally admitted,
I had like a problem and Icalled my family, like after I
lost my child, and I was like Ineed to go to rehab.
And so I went to rehab to getaway from him primarily, but
because of the Stockholmsyndrome and the abuse and
(13:07):
everything, I ended up AMA-ingout of there and going straight
back to him.
I was only there two daysbefore.
I was begging to come back andyou know, by the grace of
whatever I believe in, theyallowed me to come back.
But then I asked if we could docouples therapy.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Yeah, did he let you go to rehab, or did you have, to
like, sneak out and go?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
I wasn't living with him at the time, because this
was one of the many times that Iwould pick up and leave and say
I'm done, I'm never going back.
So this was.
I was already out at that point, but he was actively trying to
get me back, you know.
I was like you know, activelyat that time.
So he was happy to pick me upfrom rehab when I left early.
(13:53):
He was delighted, you know, andlike he, he also was delighted
when I left, because he he getssick of me, like you know what I
mean.
Like he only wants me when I'mbehaving and doing what he's
wanting me to do, and the secondI'm acting out of pocket, you
know that's when he doesn't haveany regard for me or my life.
(14:14):
Um, you know I actually hadgotten a job after I lost my job
as an IT rep.
I was a sales and marketingdirector for an IT company.
I sold BK, kenwood, motoroladevices to cops and firefighters
and I would have to show up toconferences with handprints on
my arm, which I mean I was aheavy alcoholic at that time,
(14:36):
doing a ton of cocaine too, andnot only that, he had me dealing
cocaine.
He would leave me for days at atime bagging up for him and
like it was a mess.
But I eventually lost that ITjob.
And then when I went to rehabyou know I actually still had
that IT job until I had gottenout of rehab and you know they
(14:57):
let me go.
I actually still had that ITjob until I had gotten out of
rehab and they let me go.
But now my old boss is totallysupporting what I'm doing in my
nonprofit.
But it was a really, reallyscary time for me.
I had even tried to leave toCalifornia once and I crashed
out and ran out of money and hadto come to him.
I tried to leave to Vegas once.
(15:18):
I almost got trafficked again.
That was the first time Ialmost got trafficked and he
ended up fleeing to Costa Ricaafter he got arrested because my
ex called the cops because heknew each other.
They had beef.
He was actually from.
When I met him, he was actuallyfrom Salt Lake and said cancel
your plane ticket.
I had run away from my ex.
(15:38):
At one point um went to go.
Someone told me to escort outthere, which was like the first
time I had done that, um, otherthan like when I had posted ads
of myself on Craigslist as areally young girl, uh.
But I didn't know what I wasdoing Right and so, uh, I went
out.
I ended up, uh, you know,basically getting robbed and I
met this dude who was like I'mfrom Salt Lake, cancel your
(16:02):
ticket, let's get married inVegas, let's do all this stuff
and we ended up.
He ends up driving this stolencar that I come to find out back
to Salt Lake, gets my stuff.
We go to stay in my family'scondo and then my ex calls the
cops on him and he gets arrestedbecause my ex wants me to come
back to him.
So that's a totally differentstory.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
I don't think I've ever told many people well not a
lot of people but um, you knowthat's crazy and so um so you
know, and meanwhile, the firstguy, the one like with all the
arms and all of that, is he.
He's in jail.
Is he still threatening you?
So?
Speaker 2 (16:36):
he's in jail and he bails out very quickly because
he's a lawyer.
How, oh my God, he's a lawyerand he's on an ankle monitor
which he keeps violating todrink.
He's like taking it off andlike putting alcohol on it or
like whatever he's doing to likedisable it, I don't know, but
(16:56):
like he kept fucking up, oh myGod, like whatever he's doing to
like disable it, I don't know,but like he kept fucking up Like
and like they still, like I'mstill in a civil lawsuit with
him, and like he got criminallycharged but you know how many
years later, almost five yearslater, you know I'm in a civil
lawsuit still with him andbecause of what happened to me
after that, like I'm losingBecause, like in the state of
Utah, they very much frown uponanything sexually related and
(17:22):
because I was trafficked afterthat, I have a losing case now
Because they couldn't get a holdof me for so many years after
that, because I had to keepchanging numbers, I had to keep
getting phones.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
You were hiding.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
I was hiding, yeah.
So eventually I go into hidingaway from my ex.
I'm renting I'm like 45 minutesout away from him.
I'm renting month to month andI start getting ketamine
treatments from the doctor Iused to work for, who sells me a
dream of safety him and hiswife.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
So she was in on it too, okay.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
And I move in 24 hours or so I assume I move in
24 hours to his house in NewHampshire and my car and my dog
gets driven by a friend at thetime you know all the way across
country and basically it didn'ttake long to realize that in
order to live there, I had toexchange services to him, which
(18:22):
meant I needed to work for freefor him and I needed to exploit
myself sexually for him.
So I am going back and forthfrom New Hampshire, isolated 30
minute drive from the nearestgas station.
Uh, just me and my dog, everyday.
Um, and then, uh, you know, weend up going to this.
(18:46):
He, he flies me and anothergirl out to, uh, st Pete's beach
where we ended up gettingassaulted, uh and raped and um,
you know a lot of stuff, about alot of bad stuff happened.
Um, you know, I was terrified,she was terrified.
We ended up going back.
The house that I was in floodedwhile we were on that trip.
He sent me back.
I'm sleeping in a debride house.
(19:08):
My neighbor finds me um, it'sme and my dog always.
And I go to my neighbor's housecause it was his summer house
and he wasn't using it duringthe winter said you can use that
Like you know really great guyand you know he's actually my
prescribing doctor at this point.
So he has me on Ambien, xanax,adderall, stocks up a full bar
(19:30):
for me Like I could have diedand he's withholding meds when
I'm not doing what he wants todo and then over-prescribing and
making it really dangerous.
So I end up getting multiplewellness checks called on me by
my friends in Boston and youknow people back home and one of
those wellness checks you knowI apparently got charged with.
(19:56):
Well, I got held on a chargefor criminal threatening with a
deadly weapon against a policeofficer.
I have no recollection of thisright Because you're medicated?
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Yeah Well, no, I was unmedicated at that time oh, you
were not medicated Because hewasn't prescribing my meds to me
, and so I went into withdrawaland psychosis.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
And plus I'm a heavy alcoholic at this point.
Like heavy, my face is swollen.
I'm drinking vodka all day, Ihave nothing to do.
I'm on a lake in the middle ofthe woods, for fuck's sakes.
And so, two weeks into jail,federal agencies show up.
They end up helping me and thenI was thrown in the system.
(20:37):
So I went from a detox or arehab to sober, living in
Massachusetts.
And then I get assaulted by aLyft driver and, um, I end up
going to a safe house for womenwho have been exploited and
trafficked and, um, you know, itfor me at the time was too
strict.
(20:57):
I ended up leaving after fourmonths.
I got placed in a program inVirginia where I ended up
relapsing.
My aunt flew out fromCalifornia, brought me back to
Massachusetts where my insurancewas.
I went through detox again.
You know, I went to a halfwayhouse specific for women who had
been trafficked and like, mindyou, I didn't want to get sober
(21:19):
any of this time.
I had to do it because I had tohave a roof over my head.
So I was a dry drunk.
I wanted nothing more but todrink and drug, but I couldn't
and I didn't have the money to,or I couldn't afford to, and so
I'm on Tinder just doing all thewrong things and I meet this
guy, you know.
And so I'm on Tinder just doingall the wrong things and I meet
(21:41):
this guy you know super, supersexy Jamaican dude with a neck
tattoo Like you know, just yeah,yeah, okay, like, oh my gosh,
there's so many things.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
How did the federal agents get you Like, were they
watching this guy?
Or how?
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Okay, I don't know, I don't know.
Well, I do think, now that Ithink about it, he did show up
to my court case with a bag ofmedications and flew into my
court case with a bag of meds,trying to get custody of me,
like Britney Spears.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
God.
So I think that was a red flagfor them and I think the jail
might have called them at thetime, you know, and so I digress
.
I mean, they show up, I wouldn'ttalk to them for two weeks.
I stayed two extra weeks injail because I thought I was in
trouble, right, like you know, Ithought this was, you know, my
(22:34):
problem, and so I was superscared.
But, you know, and I was stillin active psychosis, like I
thought I was pregnant with 50cents baby, I thought, like OT
Genesis was going to come pickup my dog, who I eventually lost
because my family and mytrafficker gave her up while I
was in jail.
I was devastated.
I still miss her to this day.
She's my best friend and thelogo for my nonprofit is
(22:56):
actually she looks exactly likeher and so that's why I use that
logo.
She was a German wolf mix.
Just, very, very precious,beautiful, okay.
But I met this Jamaican dude onTinder.
Okay, very, very, you know, hehad all the nice things and I
told him my whole story and hewas like thank you for being so
(23:17):
vulnerable with me and, you know, became my boyfriend and you
know, or you know, so it seemed,and you know, he starts
planting little seeds in my head.
He's like, you know, you don'thave to.
You're so beautiful Like youdon't have to do this, like you
could be a dancer.
I know so many clubs I couldget you into Y.
(23:52):
I know so many clubs I couldget you into yada, yada, yada.
I can get you an apartment, Ican get you.
You know, everything that Iwanted but that I didn't have
and I had no means of obtaining,you know, and so I ended up
leaving.
You know, I ended up meetingthis guy off of a sugar daddy
site because eventually hestarted pressuring me, saying
I'm not making enough money, I'mpaying his car payment, I'm
paying for the hotels, I'mpaying for everything, like
everything's coming out of mypocket.
You know I'm doing all thisfoul stuff at the club that I
didn't know I wasn't supposed to, because I've never been a
(24:13):
dancer before, right, and forvery little money, and I was
very unsafe doing that, and Ieventually, like got pressured
into getting on an escort sitewhich he set me all up with.
You know he chose the pictures,he managed it like you know he
(24:34):
was, he was pretty involved andum, you know, so I really didn't
want to be doing that ever andI so I wanted to like kind of
manipulate him in the system.
So I was like what if I go onsugar daddy sites, like I don't
have to like sleep with them,like I don't have to do anything
but I'm getting money?
So I meet this guy telling mystory, he invites me to his
(24:57):
house in Marshfield,massachusetts and I ended up.
You know my boyfriend at thetime, which is really a Romeo
pimp was what they call themthat pose as a boyfriend and
Romeo into exploitation.
You know he ends up showing upto that house.
You know that I was staying atand we get in a little tussle.
(25:19):
You know he backed me into acorner and was screaming at the
top of my lungs, at the top ofhis lungs.
Really triggered me because ofmy domestic.
I said, look, dude, you betterback the fuck up or get slapped
the fuck up.
And he wouldn't back the fuckup.
So he got slapped the fuck upand you know got a bloody nose.
Like all this stuff called thecops on me.
(25:40):
The cops show up, there's meand another girl there in
lingerie and like we tell himhe's a pimp you know all this
stuff and he has no registrationand the cops arrest him I mean
arrest me and her.
And we go to jail.
For what?
(26:03):
For assaulting him.
Yeah, I got a domestic violence.
I got an assault and batterycharge that I'm actually still
fighting right now.
Is that crazy, and they couldhave saved me right then.
They could have saved me rightthen from like all the rest of
the stuff that ended uphappening like right then.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
It's crazy, but I've heard there are so many stories
that are just like that, wherethe victim ends up getting
abused for defending themselves.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Right, I hear it all the time too.
I hear it all the time too, butanyway.
So he disappears and all I haveis that person that I met on a
sugar daddy website.
So I tell him my story.
He tells me a dream.
I move into the house.
You know, it didn't take longfor me to like not feel well
there.
You know I ended up trying tokill myself there.
(26:51):
And then I get out of the psychward and a week later he kicks
me out of the house because hesays I'm possessed and calls a
priest and like rids me of thehouse, gets oiled all down
because he's a nut.
This dude is a nut, I tell you,and you know I have nowhere to
(27:15):
go but my ex-boyfriend, and sohe ends up moving me.
We go to Beverly Hills.
I become a very high-end dancerin Beverly Hills and I start
noticing some really fishy stuff.
(27:35):
He is now, you know, copping upall this weed to like ounces
and ounces and ounces of weedhe's shipping back Like his
friends are now staying likeit's like a trap house right and
I'm dancing, I'm paying foreverything.
He's taking my money now andlike I'm hospitalized because he
has me working late, lateshifts, like long shifts at the
(27:55):
strip club, and you know I'm notsleeping.
I'm stressed because he has meworking late, late shifts, like
long shifts at the strip club,and you know I'm not sleeping.
I'm stressed.
I have to go to the hospital,like I was.
I was so sleep deprived.
They wheeled me into thehospital like this like, and
just pushed me.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
And they were like good luck, you know.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
And like they didn't even pick me up from the like
out of the hospital, I I had totake an Uber back, and so I had
threatened to leave him andquickly, you know, he
manipulated me into coming backto Massachusetts, you know where
he had me continue escorting,paying for everything.
I'm staying in these super,super sketchy motels.
(28:31):
And then I was like do you notknow anyone here that we could
stay with?
You're fucking from here, bro,how do you not know anyone here?
And he's like actually I dohave someone that I wanted to
introduce you to.
That someone is a gorilla pimpand hadn't claimed to be
anything but that.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
So what's a gorilla pimp versus Romeo pimp?
A Romeo pimp is a sweet talker,A gorilla pimp versus a Romeo
pimp.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
A Romeo pimp is a sweet talker, the one that kind
of grooms you and gets you usedto the life and acts like your
boyfriend and you even bringthem home to your family.
They're in your Christmaspictures, like all that stuff.
They're gorilla pimps, so theytake your money by manipulation
kind of thing and groom you.
A gorilla pimp takes it byforce.
(29:15):
Okay, they're much morevolatile and aggressive.
So eventually I end up gettingpassed off to this dude, this
gorilla pimp, and the Romeo pimpdisappears and I'm stuck with
this dude I have no idea in thehood of Worcester, massachusetts
(29:36):
, which is not a good area, andif anyone knows about Worcester,
it's not good, and he's alsoJamaican as well too.
So, it is a little potentialring and I didn't talk to this
(29:57):
man for three fucking days andthen he went into Walmart.
One time I went to Walmart hegave me $100.
I went and bought a bunch ofair dusters and I'm in his car
going as much as I could.
I almost overdosed in his carand then he came and ripped it
out of my hand and said I don'ttrust you with money.
Like we need to take care ofyou, like I'm going to handle
your money from here on out,like I want to make sure you're
(30:18):
safe, like.
And that's how he first startedtaking my money.
So now I'm becoming a full-timeescort.
Um, he is no longer allowing meto dance.
(30:40):
He forced me into prostitution,um, you know, and you know he
was nice enough to let me pickmy own prices, um, within reason
, uh and uh, you know I hadclients that were, you know I
was primarily in New York and,uh, cape Cod, uh, but I worked
all over the United States andlike he was very, very good at
this, like he had been doing itfor a very long time 20, 22 or
23 years, I want to say Um hadmultiple women at a time, like,
(31:01):
at that time I think I was hisonly one, because he had, like
he was older and like you know,I think he had kind of like died
down a little bit and was youknow, I don't know what happened
, but like he was always with me.
I was never alone, even when Ihad a date.
He'd be parked right outsidewaiting for me and I'd get in
the car and he goes where's mymoney?
And he's like you know, he'slike you know, are you going to
(31:23):
give it to me or am I going totake it by force, like kind of
thing.
And so I'm terrified, but alsoI don't know what's happening,
because he's saying he loves me,he wants to protect me.
Like I'm very confused andmanipulated and from a young age
I had come to believe thatabuse was love, right, and so I
brought that into my life.
I had all the red flags and thevulnerabilities of a
(31:46):
trafficking victim.
You know I was sexuallyassaulted as a kid.
I grew up in volatility.
I had instability.
Like I had been in a domesticyou know 85% of sex workers had
been abused as a kid.
70% had been in a domesticprior.
I was mentally ill.
I had addiction issues, likeyou know, I fit the ticket for
him and you know there was.
(32:08):
It just got worse and worse overthat point.
Like, he took me on a road tripback to Utah to like meet, meet
my family, to like assure themI was safe, which they knew.
Like my dad told him.
He was like, don't even bringthat man over to my house.
Or, like you know, I'm going tobring a shotgun.
And so, like you know, theyknew what was going on, but I
didn't.
Somehow, like you know, I wasjust so confused until we had
(32:32):
gotten back from that trip andyou know he started putting me
in like hotels with no windows,no showers, communal showers
Like you know, I'm sleeping inthe same bed that I had sex with
multiple men in not being ableto shower, eating out of vending
(32:54):
machines.
He also had me, you know,dealing crack at the time as
well too, because he was a crackdealer.
So not only was.
I had to be a prostitute but Ihad to deal crack cocaine.
I had clients that were Voguemodels and then I had clients
that were on ankle monitors forhomicide investigations.
So yeah, Terrifying.
(33:19):
Yeah, and they were veryaggressive to me.
Let me just state that, likethey were very aggressive, I
went, had a lot of veryaggressive clients, I was
bruised up all the time, um anduh, you know, ultimately, uh, he
started trusting me a littlebit and I kind of like I
realized that what was happeningto me at that time and I knew I
had to get out.
So I kind of like gained histrust until he allowed me to
(33:42):
like work independently for acouple of days at a time and
then he would come back andcollect the money and move me
into a different location.
So I was moving every 24, 72hours right To either a
different city or a differentstate or you know somewhere, and
I was primarily unmedicated, anunmedicated bipolar one PTSD,
(34:02):
anxiety, all that stuff.
Like you know, I should havebeen on meds and you know.
So I remember, you know, rightbefore I had left him, which he
wouldn't let me have more than$5 at a time, by the way, I was
making $7,000 to $10,000 a dayfor him.
I calculated, took all thescreenshots, everything like of
the money transfers andeverything $7,000 to $10,000 a
(34:24):
day.
He gave me $5 a day, which Iwould have to argue with him
over why I was entitled to that,but anyway.
So I was in the Bronx, I was inthis horrible rundown hotel that
he left me at for days.
You know, I heard this womanget beat and raped next to me
(34:45):
all night.
I was in fetal position in thecorner, just so triggered, and I
said this is my last fuckingday doing this, like I know, I
have to get out or die.
Trying, you know, and I tookthe $30 to my cash out that he
didn't know I had and I called afriend who lives in Jersey and
asked him to put me up in anAirbnb.
(35:06):
He did.
I started working independently.
Three days later someone brokeinto my Airbnb and raped me
brutally.
They had the passcode and Idon't know what happened, but
you know I knew.
After that I relapsed.
I went into a psychosis where,you know, I literally thought I
(35:27):
was like a Russian hitman forthe mob, like I was not well.
And then I get jumped inBrooklyn and left naked face
down in the streets of Brooklynby two what looked like two
Jamaican men.
So I think I was set up by mypimp.
I was about to ask, which heclaimed to do, no matter what if
(35:47):
I left.
You know they brought me to thehospital and you know I left
the life in a hospital gown andI called my family.
No one was coming to get me.
I called my pimp.
He wouldn't come and get me soI had no one to call.
But the guy I met on a sugardaddy site who was emailing me
(36:08):
and harassing me like just like,was obsessed with me Like
through this whole time.
Obsessed with me.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Obsessed, even though you're possessed.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Yes, he is.
He's a yes.
And so he picks me up.
I go back to Massachusetts andit doesn't take me long to
realize he's a psycho, and so Icall for a safe bet.
At the hospital, the cops showup, take me away in an ambulance
.
I go to the hospital, I'm in thepsych ward for a couple weeks,
for a couple of days, getreleased to I'm still in
psychosis, get released to asober house, which I eventually
(36:39):
had to go back to the psych wardfor about a month, and then I
got released again to anotherhalfway house and I still didn't
feel well.
And, mind you, I have nodocumentation at this time.
I have no birth certificate, Ihave no social, I have no ID.
I have nothing, nothing,nothing.
And so I was overwhelmed, youknow, very suicidal, very
homicidal, you know all thesidles.
(37:00):
And I went back to the psychward, where I also realized that
, like these delusions weren'treal.
And, you know, I finally cameto found proper medication, went
to a halfway house where peoplewere bullying me for my story.
I didn't want to be there.
So I went back to the dude thatI was dealing with and you know
(37:21):
we were in separate bedrooms.
I had laid my boundaries, saidyou know, I don't want to have
sex with anyone, I don't want tohave a relationship with anyone
.
Like, I just want to rebuild mylife.
Of course, I'll help you.
I don't want anything from you.
As soon as I started to rebuildmy life and make my nonprofit
and get my job and talk aboutmoving out and all this stuff,
all of a sudden it changed.
He became this entirelydifferent person.
He like wanted to marry me andI said no and he made it
(37:44):
impossible for me to leave.
He put everything in his name.
Um, he just made my life aliving hell.
Um, no wonder your familydoesn't love you.
Like all the, all this stuff.
I finally was just done and Iwas calling everyone under the
(38:05):
sun to like allow me to likestay with them.
I'm calling every shelter I'mdoing.
They're all full.
And then someone you knowthrough an anti-trafficking
organization here inMassachusetts called Treasure
Life Initiative.
They're amazing.
Uh, one of their foundersallowed me to come stay at their
house and we're really goodfriends now.
(38:26):
Um, and you know, I found whereI live now and, uh, you know, I
was able to maintain my jobthroughout it all.
But, um, you know, I'm stillrebuilding my life, and it
doesn't matter how long you'vebeen out of the situation
whether it's, you know, a month,six months, a year.
It takes a long time to likeheal and it takes forever to
(38:49):
heal, and you have to deal withdifferent challenges every
single day.
But, like I said, I neverthought I would be a human
trafficking, kidnapping, sexualassault or domestic violence
survivor.
It just happened and I justhave to live with it.
You know, because life moves on, with or without you and, like
(39:11):
at the end of the day, I want totake my pain and not only turn
it into power but purpose.
You know, this is just what Ihave done in my nonprofit as
well too, which we will talkabout at a different time.
But I think it's reallyimportant to talk about the
vulnerabilities and why I sharethe entirety of my story and the
details of my personal life,because it's in my childhood,
(39:34):
which is not going to make a lotof people in my family happy,
but at the same time, likepeople need to know the
realities of these things andthat people don't choose to have
these things happen to you.
Probably only about 10% of sexworkers are actually doing it by
choice and only 1% make it outand stay out, and less than 1%,
you know.
(39:54):
People go missing all the timeand they never come back.
Unfortunately, people die inthis.
They either die at the hands ofothers, die at the hands of
themselves, or they OD.
And that's like the reality.
But I could go on forever aboutthis topic because it is so
dear to my heart.
But I've taken my experienceand I've, you know, turned it
(40:18):
into helping others.
It's not an easy journey, youknow.
Survivors, as you know, can betough to deal with, including
myself Like dealing with myselfis tough at times.
But I think that what I wentthrough was for a reason and,
you know, for a long time Ididn't realize that purpose and
(40:39):
I felt so empty until I startedhelping others.
And you know, these survivorsthat I deal with heal me, and so
I feel very grateful that Icould come on and spread some
awareness about my story.
So thank you for that, ingrid.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
Thank you so much, allie, for coming on.
It's um, there's just, there'sso much.
I mean there are so many placesthroughout your life, starting
at three years old, where onesmall little intervention would
have stopped it.
Intervention would have stoppedit and you would have gone down
(41:20):
a completely different path.
And I think by you telling yourstory, that helps bring
awareness and that hopefullywill help somebody recognize
situations like this and thenthey can intervene, they can be
that person that changes thetrajectory of this life.
I had no idea one person getout of sex work.
That's what you said.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Yep only 1%.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
That's crazy to me.
That's so, so scary.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Only 1% make it out, and so it's just really crazy.
But I'm so happy to spreadawareness on this topic today
and I just want to thank you somuch for bringing me on today.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
I mean I feel like I have to like overdo the
appreciative, like feelings Ihave right now, because that's
when it's so vulnerable to gothrough and tell that story and
share that story.
But then you're doing it withthe purpose of raising awareness
and trying to help others andyou're the source of where
(42:23):
people can identify with and Ithink when you have people like
yourself telling your story andsharing your story, it erases
some of the shame that somebodywho has gone through even just
one piece of what you wentthrough it helps erase their
shame of like, okay, this isn'tmy fault and none of it is.
None of it is.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
None of it is.
We have these comorbidities inthe medical field.
They call it right.
We have these comorbiditiesthat make us vulnerable to other
tragedies.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
Right, right, and there's no reason to ever
apologize for anything that,like, somebody else caused, like
did to you, right?
You know, this is a life that,because of what other people did
to you, that's, I mean, youwere just surviving and trying
to survive.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
I have been in constant fight or flight until
actually, like a week ago orthis week, until I completely
eliminated myself out of theman's life that I met on that
site and was completelyindependent on my own.
You know, I was just in aconstant state of fight or
flight, right and so at thattime, you know, with the fight
or flight response, like it tookforever for me to calm down, um
(43:35):
, up until recently, and likethat was just, you know,
something that I didn't evenrealize until after it happened,
until, like that calmness andall of a sudden I felt like I
could breathe.
Like I felt like what?
And like I got this.
Like how do I explain it?
Like I was heavy in my energyfor like a long time because I
(43:56):
was so heightened for so long.
It took me like a week toadjust, like it was a week ago,
like it was a week ago that Iremoved myself from him and,
like you know, I've been out ofthe life almost nine months.
So, like, be patient withyourself, be patient with your
healing, be patient and begrateful because we fought so
(44:17):
hard to see this life.
We can't be ungrateful for alife we fought so hard to see.
And guess what?
We've survived 100% of ourworst days.
You know, we got to take ourpower back, take our voices back
.
We have to use our voices tospread awareness.
We have to use our resourcesand our network to make a
difference, because there aren'ta lot of options for people you
(44:40):
know, like us.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Right.
And not everyone has theability to speak out to share
their stories.
How did you get your identity?
Like you had no documentation,how did you get all of that?
How did?
Speaker 2 (44:52):
you get all of that.
I had to go reapply foreverything and it took forever.
I still don't have a license Iget at August 6th because the
dude I was dealing with when Imoved out of his house withheld
my vital documentation and thenI missed my appointment.
Oh my gosh, that I had waitedlike months to get, so I had to
wait more months to get it.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
I mean like one.
Your story gives an opportunityfor people to identify with and
, like I said, erase some of theshame, but then the resilience
that you have.
It also gives hope to peoplelike my God Allie.
If you can overcome that, whatwas it like?
40 minutes worth of this story?
(45:35):
You know, if you can overcomethat no documentation and then
create this independent life Imean, anybody can do it.
And not only are you justsurviving for yourself and
healing yourself, you're alsoadvocating for others, and
(45:57):
that's what we're going to getinto in the next episode.
I can't wait.
I know I'm so thrilled Beforewe end this one and we'll go
over in the next episode too,but do you want to give some of
your socials and how people canreach you?
Whatever you want to share.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
So my name is Allie Allred.
You can find me wearing red onmy Facebook, my Instagram, which
is tappedASF crazy ASF becauseI don't care but also we have
pages Survivors to Safety,Survivors to Safety on Instagram
(46:36):
and Facebook, and we have apodcast called Pain to Power.
Our first episode is calledYou're Safe here.
It's a wolf logo, so, yeah, youcan find me there.
Speaker 1 (46:47):
Okay, great.
Well, we will talk again innext week's episode with all the
good stuff.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (46:59):
Thank you again, allie, for joining me today and
sharing your incredible story,and thank you, warriors, for
listening.
I've included the link toAllie's 1 in 3 profile, along
with other resources she wantedto share in the show notes, so
make sure to check those out.
Allie and I will be back nextweek with a follow-up episode in
(47:23):
which we will discuss herpowerful advocacy work and the
podcast she now leads.
Until then, stay strong andwherever you are in your journey
, always remember you are notalone.
Speaker 3 (47:57):
Always remember you review and subscribe.
One in three is a 0.5 Pinoyproduction music written and
performed by Tim Crow.
© transcript Emily Beynon.
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