October 30, 2025 • 35 mins
What if waiting for love isn’t about pause, but about becoming? We sit with Pastor Bri DuPree, leader, mentor, and inspiring single woman in ministry, to explore how faith meets desire, how community heals loneliness, and how to prepare for marriage without losing yourself along the way.
Bri shares her path from psychology student to pastor and reframes “kingdom work” as simple, daily acts of presence: listening well, asking better questions, and dignifying people in ordinary moments. We press into the hardest parts of singleness, end‑of‑day loneliness and the ache for true companionship and talk about practical steps to build healthy friendships, create robust community, and grow emotional intelligence. Bree challenges churches to move beyond clichés, equipping singles with tools for real life, including candid conversations about sexual desire that remove shame and point toward wisdom.
Together we dismantle the myth that there’s only one person for you and replace it with a grounded vision of compatibility, shared values, and timing. We dive into non‑negotiables, why “you complete me” sets couples up to fail, and how to wait actively by cultivating hobbies, purpose, and spiritual depth. Bree’s theology of suffering brings hope after heartbreak: if God collects every tear, nothing is wasted. The invitation is clear, become whole, so you can love from abundance, not desperation.
If you’re navigating singleness with faith, longing, and a desire to do the inner work, this conversation offers clarity and comfort in equal measure. Listen, share with a friend who needs encouragement, and subscribe for more honest, hope‑filled talks on love, faith, and relationships. We’d love to hear your biggest takeaway from this week's episode!
Follow Bri's Church Here: https://www.instagram.com/theembracecollective_/?hl=en
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Renee Richel (00:42):
Hello Loves.
Welcome back.
I am so excited to introduce mynext guest of honor, Bri
DuPree, who is a lead pastor forThe Embrace Collective and an
Associate Pastorat the Experienced Christian
Center in Orlando, Florida,which is in our backyard.
(01:03):
And I just love Orlando.
We have so many incrediblehearts there that we are
constantly matching and findingour clients the love of their
life in your backyard.
So welcome.
I can't wait to learn moreabout you, share with our
audience, and just have anotherincredible pastor in our
backyard of Orlando, Florida.
Bri DuPree (01:25):
So welcome.
Thank you so much.
I'm honored to be here, Renee.
I'm excited.
It's gonna be great.
Renee Richel (01:29):
And I am excited when you come from a source of a
reliable human that we justalready love and that you've
known for 22-ish years, right?
Um, and how God brings ustogether in his perfect timing.
So uh thank you for joining us.
So let's dive into it.
I feel like I have a millionquestions I want to ask you.
So let's start off with yourjourney.
(01:50):
Can you share your personaltestimony and what led you into
ministry and how has yourrelationship with God grown and
shifted over the years?
Bri DuPree (02:01):
Yeah, so I was raised in a Christian home.
I was originally raised inPhiladelphia, Pennsylvania.
Um, my parents were involved inchurch.
So every time those churchdoors were open, my sister and I
were in the church.
So that was just life for us.
Um, and then I started going toChristian schools at about
fourth grade, I believe.
So I went to private Christianschools from fourth grade all
(02:24):
the way through um to college.
That's where I met Kate, wewere talking about before.
Yeah.
Um, I met her at CedarvilleUniversity, and so I actually
went to school for psychology.
So in high school, the Lordreally just started to develop
in me a passion and love forpeople.
I just love listening topeople, I loved hearing their
stories, and I wasn't reallygreat.
(02:44):
I at least I didn't think so,and giving advice.
I was like listening.
So once I found out, hey, I canget paid hundreds of dollars
just to have somebody sit on thecouch and talk to me.
Oh, yeah, that's the job Iwant.
So I went to school for that.
But during the process of mytime in school, the Lord really
started to pull on me forministry.
And ministry is something I'vealways been involved in, but I
(03:06):
never thought I'd be in any typeof like pastoral ministry.
I was like, I just want to beyour like number one volunteer.
Like, I love church, I lovechurch culture, I love I love
everything about it at thattime, and so I just said, hey,
I'll just I'll just keep servingthe church and doing this on
the side.
But the Lord really started topull me towards ministry, so I
changed my major from psychologyto comprehensive Bible, which
(03:26):
is just a fancy phrase for buildyour own Bible degree,
basically.
I started putting these piecestogether, and then um, long
story short, I had to do aninternship.
So I did an internship at whatwas then my home church in Ohio.
It was a house of prayer inZenia, Ohio, under the
leadership of then pastors Markand Anna Brooks, and um started
(03:47):
serving there doing theinternship there and
post-internship, they sawsomething in me and they said,
Hey, we think you'd be a greatassociate pastor of discipleship
and a great co-pastor for ourcollege ministry.
And so I was completely blownaway by that because I was not
in any way, shape, or form,Renee, trying to be a pastor.
I just wanted to come.
Renee Richel (04:05):
Isn't it funny how God shows us a different path
than what we think we're set outto do?
Which I think that all day longin matchmaking.
So I give it.
Bri DuPree (04:14):
I just I it wasn't for me, I thought, but uh, when
they asked me, I prayed aboutit, talked with my mom about it,
my family about it, and I feltlike I was supposed to say yes.
So I did that as well asserving at my alma mater as a
resident director.
So I did that for a period oftime, and then um from that
point forward, I was launchedinto ministry and the rest is
history.
Renee Richel (04:33):
That's amazing.
It's amazing.
I always say the steppingstones that get us to ultimately
his bigger plan are alwaysbetter than we imagine.
But when we're in it, it'slike, what is happening?
Right.
Bri DuPree (04:44):
Right, right.
Renee Richel (04:45):
So I love that.
Okay, so as a single woman inministry, because as a
matchmaking company, we areworking with single hearts all
the time, as well as ourno-match ones.
How do you personally definekingdom work and what does that
look like in your everyday life?
Bri DuPree (05:03):
Yeah, that's a great question.
I I think kingdom work is doinganything in your life that
helps advance the kingdom ofGod.
And I tell people all the timethat I think that looks a lot
simpler than we make it.
Like sometimes I think peoplethink it has to be like you have
to be serving in a churchministry or you have to be
serving in a ministry capacity.
But I really do think it boilsdown to what does God make you
(05:26):
passionate about and what do youget excited about ever when you
wake up every morning and openyour eyes?
You know, like what fuels youfor some people?
That's art.
I can't draw a stick figure, soit's just not me.
Renee Richel (05:36):
I'm the same way.
I agree.
We're better at working withpeople, right?
Bri DuPree (05:40):
But I got some people in my life who are
incredible artists and theythey're not making quote unquote
Christian art, they're makingincredible paintings and uh
incredible music and all thesethings that are really making an
impact for the kingdom of God.
And I think for me, it reallystarts with I took a class
actually at Cedarville where Ihad to write a personal mission
(06:01):
statement for my life or apersonal business statement for
my life.
And it came out to for me thatI want to help people embrace
their process.
I think sometimes you rush somuch to like the end goal or to
promise that there's so much inbetween that whole process part,
that's the hard part.
Renee Richel (06:16):
Once we like we stop and smell the roses or all
the little details we got to gothrough, right?
Bri DuPree (06:23):
Exactly.
It's like, man, that thatprocess is hard.
But I realize I can help peopleembrace their process by being
a barista at Starbucks by juststopping them in the middle of
their day and saying, Hey, I'mso glad you came this morning.
How's your morning going?
What's the day like?
Bad traffic, bad morning, yourkids getting your nerves?
Okay, you're gonna be allright, keep going.
That's a way to help youembrace your process.
So it doesn't really have to doout thing with the job, it has
(06:45):
to do with knowing what God hasreally uh infused you with as
far as your purpose and passion,and then living that out.
So I think in my everyday life,I just happen to be able to do
that as a pastor.
But I tell people all the timeI can do it as a janitor, I can
do it as a barista, I can do itas a pastor.
Renee Richel (07:00):
Right, it's called looking up, saying hello,
smiling, and being kind topeople.
And it's amazing how it's likea trickle effect that then as a
single too, you just never know.
Bri DuPree (07:11):
Right, exactly right.
So it's just it's loving onpeople, like you said, and it's
I love it, um, being passionateabout those things and letting
God use the gifts that He'sgiven you already.
But I think that's what likewhat kingdom work is to me.
Renee Richel (07:24):
I love it.
Okay, so from your vantagepoint, what are some of the most
pressing emotional andspiritual challenges singles
face today?
Bri DuPree (07:33):
There there are two I can think of right now.
I think one is loneliness.
Renee Richel (07:37):
Yeah.
Bri DuPree (07:38):
Like I'm 35 years old right now, and I'm still
single.
Um well, I'm sorry, I'm 37.
See, I tried to I tried to makemyself younger.
I'm 37 years old right now.
And I'm still single, but oneof the things that I battle with
more than like sexual desire,more than just you know, wanting
intimacy romantically orphysically with a man is like
(07:58):
after I've worked all day,talking to people all day, I
would love to just come home andhave someone who's going to be
the pastor, leader of my home,and just let me be.
I can just crumble in your armsand just go about my day,
right?
And I think that's something asI've gotten older that I can't
really say I've wrestled withbecause I think I've I've come
to terms with where I'm at,where God has called me to.
(08:18):
But something that I've reallyrealized, man, that's the thing
I'm missing.
I think is that loneliness andwanting that companion.
And I think that's the secondpart of first battling that
loneliness to feel like you'redoing ministry or life by
yourself.
But the second is like justwanting someone to do life with,
you know, that is just where wecan go hang out or have a
(08:39):
vacation or uh we're sharingeach other's burdens very
intentionally because we'retogether.
So your problems are myproblems, and my problems are
your problems, and we're gonnago for this together.
And I have incredible family, Ihave incredible community, but
I I realize even over the yearsas I've gotten older, people
some people are seasonal andsome people are there forever.
They can come in and out.
(08:59):
But for me, uh in a covenantrelationship with the man of God
that that God would have for meis like we're stuck with each
other.
So through through hell or highwater, we're gonna figure this
out together, okay?
All right.
And so I think it's those twothings I think is that that
wrestling with loneliness couldbe a really hard thing.
And I think that deep desirefor a companion that is for you,
(09:20):
regardless of what happens inthe world.
All your friends leave, youknow, you got this one person
there.
If your family starts actingcrazy, you know, you got that
one person there.
So I think those are are two ofthe things that I think a lot
of signals wrestle with attimes.
Renee Richel (09:32):
And I couldn't agree more.
And I think I always telleverybody you're only one part
of the equation of two, right?
And so I love that it soundslike you're preparing the space
and preparing the readiness forthat person to come in because I
think that's half the battle,is like people are alone, but if
they're not working andpreparing to be their best
(09:52):
version of themselves, God knowsthey're not ready yet.
So that person doesn't comeinto their life.
And we say all day long in ourwork of what we do, timing is
everything too.
So I love it that you'vealready prepared that that
place, being intentional inprayer and knowing that someday
when that day does come, Ialways do say, then we focus our
(10:15):
time on that other person.
And sometimes our relationshipwith God, it goes a little bit
astray, but having it togetheris stronger of what he also
wants, too.
So it's a special time whenit's just you and God, too.
But it's also rewarding whenyou have that one.
So, how do you think the churchcan do a better job at
addressing this?
Because I know this is aconversation I have with pastors
all across the globe about howthe singles in church
(10:40):
environments really struggle.
Bri DuPree (10:42):
Yes, they do.
And I think it has to go beyondlike just having a singles
ministry, which I'm not againstsingle ministries.
I actually think they can besuper helpful, but I think
churches need to do a better jobof helping people wrestle with
the reality of their lonelinessand not just say, just go to
your house and pray and readyour Bible.
That's not gonna, that's notgonna take care of it all the
(11:04):
time.
Again, I believe in the powerof the word of God, I believe in
the power of prayer, but likehow do I actually wrestle with
and deal with loneliness?
How do I develop healthycommunity?
Because I know I have somepeople in my life who are
wrestling with being single andthey have no good friends and
they never really learn how tobe a good friend.
So you don't even know how tooperate well in community
because you're so focused onfinding that man or finding that
(11:27):
woman of God that you're justyou're bent on that that you're
not actually spending timedeveloping community.
So I think as a church, we cando a lot better job of equipping
people for interpersonalrelationships.
Um, talking about emotionalintelligence, how to even uh uh
embrace what it means to be apart of a community.
The second thing I think thatchurches have to wrestle with
(11:47):
and deal with is how do you dealwith sexual tension?
Understanding, I tell the girlsI mentor all the time, like it
is not a sin to be horny.
My personal my personal opinionis not a sin to be horny, but
it's how do I handle that?
How do I handle these naturalphysical desires that God gave
me, but I don't have anopportunity to release it in a
way that is biblical?
(12:08):
Right.
So, how do I handle that?
And how do I, and I feel likeso many people struggle with
sexual repression because we'rejust told you gotta wait until
you're married, you gotta waituntil you're married, you can't
do this, you can't go too far,you can't go to this base.
And it's like, I hear you.
And I'm not trying to say movethe biblical standard, I'm
trying to say you have to giveme some tools to help me figure
out what to do while I'm havingthese uh natural things that God
(12:32):
gave me.
Renee Richel (12:32):
It's a good thing, and so I think Well, and I
think it's something that ofcourse nobody ever talks about,
so it's like taboo, right?
So you just feel like then whatdo I do?
And right there's gonna getinto the details.
Right.
I love your candidness in yourin your uh say what it is,
right?
Bri DuPree (12:49):
Yeah, exactly right.
And I think I think it's justthat's how you start to really
embrace true community where youyou realize that like you're
not crazy.
Like I know one time atCedarville, you're not alone,
right?
Exactly right.
We had a uh a girl who came atCedarville and she spoke on uh
masturbation for women, andafter she spoke, it was a whole
it was a whole uh uh likeassembly that we had for women
(13:11):
in our community.
At that time, I was a residentdirector at Cedarville, and so
after that assembly, I had somany girls from my dorm come
into my office saying, Brie,I've wrestled with this, that,
and the other.
Because it just opened up theopportunity for conversation,
and they just felt so relievedto know that they weren't the
only ones that had thesedesires, and I think it just it
(13:32):
brought a wave of healthyconversations around sexual
desire and relationship that umI wish happened more in church.
Renee Richel (13:39):
Yeah, I love that.
And for anybody that'slistening listening, you may be
getting a an influx of uh emailsand questions coming here.
Bring them on.
I will leave that to you in theuh pastoral role that you do
have.
Bri DuPree (13:52):
Bring them on.
Renee Richel (13:53):
Oh, I love it.
Okay, so singleness can be ascary season.
What biblical truths orpersonal um practices would you
encourage singles to embracewhile navigating this time of
waiting?
Bri DuPree (14:06):
Yeah, I think when we when we use the picture of
someone waiting, sometimespeople think waiting means I'm
sitting in a corner with mysitting on my hand.
Uh for me, waiting is not that.
For me, waiting is umdeveloping who God's called me
to be.
Um I think embracing what whoGod's called me to be, embracing
(14:28):
who um uh how I'm called tointeract with the world around
me, um, developing passions.
One of the things I was calledout recently by my therapist was
the fact that I had no hobbies.
She was like, You do ministry,great, you have like you know,
family time, friend time, butlike, what are your hobbies?
And I couldn't think of one.
So I was challenged to findsome hobbies because um I think
(14:52):
I I'm old enough now and havetalked people through.
I have married many couples,um, talked people through their
relationship relationship issuesand um their relationships
enough to know that once you getmarried doesn't mean that all
of your desires and passions andthose things go away.
So one of the things that Iwant to do is know like know who
Brie is, um know what Brielikes to do, know what I enjoy,
(15:15):
know uh uh who I am in God, um,so that my husband and I um have
the opportunity to really fullyexperience each other and not
having to work through again,we're all in process, and I'm
not saying I'm gonna be perfect,but I think I've I've taken
this mindset of waiting is notme waiting on my hands.
(15:35):
Um, waiting is me actuallyexploring and developing who
God's called for me to be.
And that has been a reallyexciting thing for me to do.
Renee Richel (15:43):
I love that.
And it ties right into ourcourse, Love Starts With You
with God, which is I always sayto my singles, God is waiting to
hear from you, and not to besomebody that we think we should
be or uh you know, dwell in ourpast decisions or things that
we've done.
But to meet you where you aretoday, to have like house talk
(16:05):
conversations, endless momentswith God that I always tell on
my singles.
I'm like, if anybody asks whyyou're still single or how you
haven't met that person, I'mlike, tell them you're dating
Jesus.
And truly the time ofsingleness and waiting should be
your most precious time thatyou're dating Jesus.
Because when you add somebodyelse into your life, I gotta be
(16:26):
honest, you then divide up yourtime because you also are
spending time with somebodyelse.
So it's like the coolest timeand it's the most undivided time
you have to find your purpose,your passion, and do something
of a hobby, right?
Too.
Bri DuPree (16:38):
Absolutely.
Renee Richel (16:40):
I love that.
Okay, so ministry often umintersects with real life
relationships, which is kind ofwhat you were just saying.
So can you share a story eitherfrom your own life or a
pastoral experience where yousaw God move powerful,
powerfully through arelationship?
Bri DuPree (16:58):
For me, I've really um it's just going back to when
I was talking about like I feellike singles need to learn how
to embrace community is one ofthe things that I've really been
pushed to embrace, not only onebecause I'm a pastor, but also
two realizing that I need peoplearound me.
And some of my um, actuallysome of my friends from college,
especially especially some ofmy guy friends, I can think of
(17:20):
uh uh five of them right now.
We actually have a Marco Polofriend that we've had for the
last like eight years that wejust talk almost every day on
this thread.
But in my relationship withthem, they've really taught me
what it means to be a woman.
And what I mean by that is theyhave this way of respecting my
(17:40):
leadership in their life astheir pastor, but also
respecting my femininity.
So it's little things that Ihad to learn, like letting them
hold the door open for me.
You know, if they come over,let them take out the trash.
Because again, I live a lot bymyself, so I'm like, yeah, I can
do these things, but I think inour relationship um over the
years, they do a great job ofjust really still loving me and
(18:01):
saying, you know, Bree, we loveyou as our pastor, but also like
we're your big brothers.
So, and some of them areyounger than me, but they still
say themselves as my bigbrother.
Renee Richel (18:09):
So let him be a man, right?
Bri DuPree (18:10):
Let them be 100%.
So I gotta let them be men.
I gotta let them bet the guysthat I'm dating.
I gotta let them have thosehard conversations.
You know, my my father passedaway a few years ago from COVID.
So I don't really have thatlike strong male figure in my
life outside of my pastor, um,and uh outside of some of my
family members.
But as far as like brothers, Ihave one biological brother, but
(18:31):
he's younger than me.
Um uh uh and so we findourselves now in the space of
like, man, where are the likemale friendships that are really
teaching me how to like be awoman?
And it's been fun too, becauseuh uh three of them are married.
So I'm getting to know theirwives and they're getting to
know their kids and just beingin a relationship with all of
them.
It's like, okay, this is whathealthy relationships look like.
Renee Richel (18:51):
Like this is Yes, and amen to that.
Because I know how difficultand I remember in my season of
waiting and dating and takingyears and thinking, why, God,
why, or how long, right?
Right.
Also hanging out with marriedcouples and surrounding yourself
around healthy married couples.
Now, you don't always want tobe the third wheel, but there's
nothing better to start towitness and see.
(19:12):
So when you do meet thatperson, you're that much more
equipped to be married.
Like the secret I learned wasstart reading marriage books
while you're single.
So when you meet that person,you're already gonna be uh
frequent in how to communicatewith a the opposite sex and b,
think marriage-minded.
Because I always say if youwant to be forever single, then
(19:32):
read single books, and then theywill make sure that you are,
you know, you're only one sideof it.
And that's the one thing Idon't think people think through
is like a marriage is two,right?
Bri DuPree (19:41):
So absolutely.
No, I love that.
That's great advice.
Renee Richel (19:45):
So there's a lot of noise around love and dating,
obviously, in today's day andage we live in.
It's crazy, it's scary, it'srisky, it's tough out there.
What's one misconception youoften hear Christians believe
about relationships and how canwe reframe uh that through a
biblical lens?
Bri DuPree (20:07):
Yeah, I think the biggest one I can think of that
I've heard a lot is that there'sonly one person for you.
And um I think, especially insome of like church circles and
stuff, it's kind of like, well,God told me this is my man, and
then they get married tosomebody else, and everybody's
and then their whole worldcollapsed because that was
(20:27):
supposed to be the one that wasfor you.
And for me, I believe that thatGod really can join together
people who have similarpassions, beliefs, and all those
things.
And I'll leave all theconnecting points to you and
your couple, you guys know whatthat looks like, but I do
believe that there uh, as thephrase goes, that there is more
than one fish in the sea.
(20:48):
And so helping people realizeand like breathe after a heart
breakup or breathe after a hardbroken relationship, be able to
say, okay, there was more thanjust that one guy, there was
more than just that one girl.
Like, we can we're gonna moveforward, you're gonna find
someone else.
And I, you know, people we canget stuck in our mindset of
saying, Well, I'll find no onewho was as good as him.
He checked off all my boxes andeverything on my list.
(21:10):
And it's like, okay, that thatwas one guy, it's gonna be okay.
Let's keep moving forward.
And so I know that's one thingthat that I am even now helping
some people work through ofsaying, okay, I get it.
Your eyes were set on him, buthe's moved forward.
So we got to figure out a wayfor you to move forward too,
because there's somebody elsewho might have their eyes on
you, but you're so stuck on him.
(21:31):
And I actually have a friendnow who's married after having
dealt with some of this, andshe's married to a man who um
I'm glad it, I'm glad it was himand not the other guy.
I'll say it that way.
Like, I'm just it just wasobvious that, right?
Yes, it was obvious that it wasa God thing of like, oh, this
is the man for you 100%.
The other guy, he was good, hewas fine, there's nothing wrong
(21:51):
with him.
But man, the one you're marriedto now, oh yeah, you guys were
definitely made for each other,and they have a beautiful family
now.
So um, but yeah, I think that'sone of the misnomers is that
there's just that one person,and I think it stops people from
you might run into this, butwhat you do, it stops people
from dating because they'rewaiting for that one.
Renee Richel (22:10):
Yeah, and it's funny because I just did a
woman's uh talk last nightexactly on this topic.
And it's amazing how I'm like,you know, our most powerful tool
God gives us is our mind,right?
And it's amazing how if you goback to the trajectory of life,
even childhood and whatever, howmany times you could fall in
and out of love with somebodyand who you thought was your
(22:31):
high school, you know, love, youfall out of and you fall in
love again.
And vice versa, right?
And so the truth of it is thatwe do this needs and wants
analysis, which is like aroadmap in a prayerful way of
intentionally holding ourselvesaccountable for what are our
non-negotiables.
Because what happens in loveand in today's Instagram world
and just in general onlinedating is everybody's like
(22:53):
window shopping, right?
And so we fall in love a lotunless.
And then all of ournon-negotiables go quickly out
of the window, and then wewonder why it doesn't work out
down the road.
And so in our business, we holdour clients and just in
general, even our matches, likeaccountable for those
(23:14):
non-negotiables, because at theend of the day, the world is
full of plenty of options.
It's hard to find without amatchmaker, right?
Kind of into trusted handsbeing there between um both
parties.
However, I do say the one thingto stay steadfast in is your
non-negotiables that you've beenprayerfully intentionally
(23:34):
praying.
And they they don't align toyour forever.
And if you write a love letterto your future spouse and they
don't align with somebody you'redating, then get out.
There is somebody else.
I do believe you can fall inand out of love with multiple
people, but when you do find theone, because I am now there,
right?
Myself, I'm like, then you knowthat is the one.
Bri DuPree (23:57):
So I love that.
I love that.
That's excellent.
Renee Richel (24:00):
For the one who feels overlooked, weary,
heartbroken.
What words of encouragement ortruth would you speak to someone
who's discouraged in theirsingleness and healing from a
broken relationship?
Bri DuPree (24:16):
Yeah, I I think um one of the things I've learned
actually also at a class atCedarville was the importance of
developing a theology ofsuffering as a human, meaning an
understanding of God in themidst of suffering.
Because no matter where you arein life, we're all gonna suffer
through something.
However, when we develop kindof an understanding of suffering
(24:39):
when we're not suffering inthat moment, it helps us to kind
of, I think, uh wrestle withthose grief and those moments.
And for me, it's really it'shelped me realize like the pain
is still gonna be there, but Godis with me in that and he also
cares.
And I think what I would say tosomeone who is maybe wrestling
with loneliness or wrestlingwith a broken relationship is
(25:01):
knowing that God like does careabout what you're going through.
He's in fact, I believe, cryingwith you, weeping with you, um,
desiring and moving forwardwith you.
Um, and I think that's one ofthe most beautiful parts of
grief.
I experienced a lot of grief inmy life, um, of realizing that
I'm not dealing with this alone,that God cares and he actually
(25:21):
wants um good things for me.
I think it was A.
W.
Tozer who said that what webelieve about God is the most
important thing about us.
And so if I believe that God isa God who gives good gifts,
like it says in scripture, thatif your father, if your early
father give you good good, giveyou good gifts, how much more
does your heavenly father wantto give you good gifts?
If I believe he does want togive me good things, then I have
(25:43):
to believe that that rightperson is coming.
I have to believe even afterthis, it's on the way because
that's just his nature, that'shis character, and that's what
I'm choosing to believe abouthim, not just from a feeling,
but from what scripture outlineshim to be, is the God who wants
us to have life and lifeabundantly.
And so I would encourage themto say that your season of tears
(26:05):
won't be forever, but I reallydo believe is what's uh the
thing.
The psalmist uh has thisbeautiful metaphorical language
where he says that God collectsour tears and God doesn't
collect things that he doesn'tend up using.
And so I know that there'sgoing to be a great harvest even
from this moment of grief andweeping.
Renee Richel (26:21):
I totally agree.
And I love that uh uh art wewere talking about earlier of
like footprints in the sand, andit's just one and you feel
alone, but you realize God'scarrying you and it's his
footprints, not two, right?
Just because it's him throughthat season of feeling lonely.
Um, and it's funny because Itell people all day long, too.
So I now at 45 finally met thelove of my life, right?
(26:44):
And it's very clear, but I lookback at it from all those years
and all those heartbreaks andall those, you know, good, bad,
or toxic or healthy, whateverrelationships.
I'm like, the moment of likewhen and why and how, why is it
taking so long?
And I look back at it as like Iwasn't a hundred percent ready.
And I look back at them that atthe time it didn't make any
(27:08):
sense and how many years it waslonely and dark and like I just
never gonna happen.
Um, but then when we get out ofour own way and we truly
prepare ourselves, then I'mlike, I wouldn't have been ready
15 years ago.
I wouldn't have been, I wasn'tthe person that I am even 10,
five, six years ago, right?
And so it really is one ofthose things that witnessing our
(27:29):
clients fall in love and whothey choose and who chooses them
back is nobody they ever wouldhave imagined, but it's so much
better than they imagined.
And I always say it's becausethey went through the stepping
stones of what God needed toteach them, and some are longer
than others.
I promise you, for hope, thatit does eventually happen and it
is so worth the wait when uhyou're patient through the
(27:50):
journey and trusting in the Lordand not giving up on that first
and foremost.
Bri DuPree (27:55):
That's right.
That's right.
That's beautiful.
Renee Richel (27:57):
If you could sit with every single person
preparing for marriage, what onepiece of wisdom or caution you
wish more people would take uhto heart earlier on in the
relationship?
Bri DuPree (28:12):
I would say give your spouse the gift of not
having to complete you.
One of the things that I'm veryexcited about when I do meet
the man that God has for me isthat he will never be pressured
by me to complete me.
Because I've had all this timeto find out who Bree is.
I know who Bree is, I know whatI want.
(28:45):
What we talking about before,those non-negotiables, like I
know that.
And when I do meet him, I'm notgoing to be looking for him to
complete me.
I'm going to be looking for himto be my partner, to be my
companion.
I want us to do life together.
He doesn't have to carry the healready has to carry the weight
and the responsibility of beingthe head of the home and loving
me like Christ loves thechurch.
That's enough pressure, Ithink.
(29:06):
So you told that part, I'mgonna do it my part of um making
sure I'm loving you well andsupporting you and covering you
and all those things.
And so I think that's one ofthe things that I tell,
especially women all the time,is like some I feel like some
people I've talked to, they'relooking for a man to complete
them.
They're like, my life willwon't be complete until
someone's there.
(29:26):
And I say I get the desire fora man 100%.
I understand.
I get the desire for acompanion, but man, that's way
too much pressure.
And that's why sometimes we runguys out of our lives,
honestly, if we're not careful.
And for guys running women outof your lives, is because you're
trying to make them completesome missing portion.
And I just say, Man, give themthe gift of saying, Hey, you
don't have to complete me, wejust get to walk alongside each
(29:48):
other.
Renee Richel (29:49):
And I do say what screwed that up for everybody is
that movie Jerry Maguire.
Bri DuPree (29:53):
Yes.
Renee Richel (29:54):
And we all heard that, I don't know, 10, 20 years
ago.
I have no idea how much this isdating me, but back.
But we saw it.
And he whatever, he or she runsout and says, You complete me.
The worst line ever.
And I think everybody felt thatway after that movie because it
was such a romantic movie,right?
But I'm like, no, if somebody'snot complete, you can't fix
(30:15):
them, nor do you want to have aproject.
So like make sure they'recomplete before.
And that's why, you know, whenpeople wonder why they're still
single, I'm like, because maybeask God, are you complete yet?
And if you're not, that's why.
Right.
Okay.
In what ways have your lifeexperience shaped how you lead
(30:36):
love and live out your faith?
And how do you hope yourjourney might speak to others
navigating similar paths?
Bri DuPree (30:43):
Part of it is because I am a pastor and I have
the privilege of talking to somany people.
I've heard so many stories.
And I tell people a lot oftimes I have a preventative
testimony.
My testimony isn't crazy.
My testimony is what I sharedat the beginning of this
podcast.
I grew up in the church,nothing really ever wild or
crazy happened to me.
I've had, you know, deaths inthe family and things like that.
(31:04):
But I don't really have one ofthose like crazy, like I did
this, that, and the other.
But my lot of my testimony'sbeen preventative because of all
the stories I've heard.
I've talked to so many peopleabout so much of their
processes, whether it be throughrelationships or life in
general.
And I think we can just do alot better job of um listening
(31:24):
well.
And I think that's something Istrive to do is just listen
well, listen to people'sjourney, listen actually caring
about people when I see them atchurch.
You know, when you go to churchand everyone's like, How you
doing?
Everybody says, Good and walkaway.
But people know that when I askthem, I really care.
And so I can even get caught upsometimes in that pastoral mode
of just saying hi to everybodyand say, How are you doing?
And everybody's like, uh, thisweek was rough.
And I go, and then I have tolike switch back and say, Oh,
(31:46):
wait, great, you care for real.
So let's stop.
Yes, greeting time, but I'mgonna stop for 30 seconds and
kind of hear about what yourweek was like real quick.
We'll talk about it afterservice, but I actually want to
know what's going on.
So um, for me, I think it'sjust the importance of helping
people embrace their process,embracing my own process.
But I think the key to that forme has been really learning to
(32:07):
listen well and um not talkingas much.
I'm an extrovert, I can talk alot, um, I preach a lot, so I
I'm a talker um by nature, butit's really learning the art of
just shutting up at times andjust listening, listening to
people's stories and theirjourney.
And I think that's reallyhelped me live out my faith well
because I say it all the timethat I rather sometimes um I I
(32:29):
want to be in a position where Ilove Jesus more than I love
being right about everything.
So I'm just gonna listen toyou, try to love you like Jesus
would, and um let God do his jobof convicting hearts and um and
guiding you in that way.
Renee Richel (32:42):
Well, that's awesome.
And I love that when we talkabout your hobbies, I think one
of it is that you're in yourcalling and that God uses your
voice and just your beauty andyour infectious personality of
allowing just people to sharesome things that they've never
shared with anybody before, andthat you just have this
accepting, unjudgmental justspirit about you that is
(33:05):
absolutely beautiful.
That is one of your hobbiesthat I think you put down
outside of what you do.
I know it goes hand in hand,but there's nothing better than
when you meet somebody that isin their calling and they're
living it out.
And you know, so many timespeople will say to me, How are
you so positive?
I'm like, Because every morningI wake up, I drink Jesus
Kool-Aid and I feel great.
(33:26):
And it makes a difference whenyou breathe it, when you walk it
and you talk it.
And uh things come from that.
So I I'm so excited that I havenow connected with you, met you
because now anybody you comeacross, or just yourself, we're
gonna have to get you to fillout a profile so that we know
you exist because that's wherewe work our magic in knowing
(33:49):
everybody's beautiful heart thatGod has created, because I do
believe there is someone foreverybody.
It's just hard to find.
But when a matchmaker knows alittle bit of everybody that's
placed a little bit ofeverywhere, and people have an
open mind too, it's not wherethey live, it's about finding
the right person.
And when it is the right one,God will move mountain and earth
(34:10):
for the two of you to betogether and wherever he wants
to place you and put you, right?
Bri DuPree (34:15):
Absolutely, absolutely he will.
I believe it.
Renee Richel (34:18):
So I will be keeping you in my prayers and
thoughts, and I can't wait towork together and continue to uh
speak this ministry for loveand that the great work that
you're doing for singles.
And uh, if anybody wants towrite in and hear more of Bri's
pearls of wisdom that I thinkyou could really help a lot of
our singles with, uh, please dothat.
(34:39):
Um and I can't wait for morechats with you and more to come.
Bri DuPree (34:42):
Absolutely.
My pleasure.
Thank you so much, Renee, forhaving me.
It's been great.
Renee Richel (34:45):
Thank you for joining us.
Have a blessed day.
Bri DuPree (34:48):
Thank you.
Renee Richel (34:54):
It's been another great talk on this episode of 1
True Talks by Renee Richel.
I look forward to our nextchat.
Please write in your questionsand comments so I can be sure to
talk about whatever it is youwant to discuss in our next
upcoming episode.
Lots of love.
God bless.
XOXO.
Hello Loves.
Welcome back.
I am so excited to introduce mynext guest of honor, Bri
DuPree, who is a lead pastor forThe Embrace Collective and an
Associate Pastorat the Experienced Christian
Center in Orlando, Florida,which is in our backyard.
(01:03):
And I just love Orlando.
We have so many incrediblehearts there that we are
constantly matching and findingour clients the love of their
life in your backyard.
So welcome.
I can't wait to learn moreabout you, share with our
audience, and just have anotherincredible pastor in our
backyard of Orlando, Florida.
Bri DuPree (01:25):
So welcome.
Thank you so much.
I'm honored to be here, Renee.
I'm excited.
It's gonna be great.
Renee Richel (01:29):
And I am excited when you come from a source of a
reliable human that we justalready love and that you've
known for 22-ish years, right?
Um, and how God brings ustogether in his perfect timing.
So uh thank you for joining us.
So let's dive into it.
I feel like I have a millionquestions I want to ask you.
So let's start off with yourjourney.
(01:50):
Can you share your personaltestimony and what led you into
ministry and how has yourrelationship with God grown and
shifted over the years?
Bri DuPree (02:01):
Yeah, so I was raised in a Christian home.
I was originally raised inPhiladelphia, Pennsylvania.
Um, my parents were involved inchurch.
So every time those churchdoors were open, my sister and I
were in the church.
So that was just life for us.
Um, and then I started going toChristian schools at about
fourth grade, I believe.
So I went to private Christianschools from fourth grade all
(02:24):
the way through um to college.
That's where I met Kate, wewere talking about before.
Yeah.
Um, I met her at CedarvilleUniversity, and so I actually
went to school for psychology.
So in high school, the Lordreally just started to develop
in me a passion and love forpeople.
I just love listening topeople, I loved hearing their
stories, and I wasn't reallygreat.
(02:44):
I at least I didn't think so,and giving advice.
I was like listening.
So once I found out, hey, I canget paid hundreds of dollars
just to have somebody sit on thecouch and talk to me.
Oh, yeah, that's the job Iwant.
So I went to school for that.
But during the process of mytime in school, the Lord really
started to pull on me forministry.
And ministry is something I'vealways been involved in, but I
(03:06):
never thought I'd be in any typeof like pastoral ministry.
I was like, I just want to beyour like number one volunteer.
Like, I love church, I lovechurch culture, I love I love
everything about it at thattime, and so I just said, hey,
I'll just I'll just keep servingthe church and doing this on
the side.
But the Lord really started topull me towards ministry, so I
changed my major from psychologyto comprehensive Bible, which
(03:26):
is just a fancy phrase for buildyour own Bible degree,
basically.
I started putting these piecestogether, and then um, long
story short, I had to do aninternship.
So I did an internship at whatwas then my home church in Ohio.
It was a house of prayer inZenia, Ohio, under the
leadership of then pastors Markand Anna Brooks, and um started
(03:47):
serving there doing theinternship there and
post-internship, they sawsomething in me and they said,
Hey, we think you'd be a greatassociate pastor of discipleship
and a great co-pastor for ourcollege ministry.
And so I was completely blownaway by that because I was not
in any way, shape, or form,Renee, trying to be a pastor.
I just wanted to come.
Renee Richel (04:05):
Isn't it funny how God shows us a different path
than what we think we're set outto do?
Which I think that all day longin matchmaking.
So I give it.
Bri DuPree (04:14):
I just I it wasn't for me, I thought, but uh, when
they asked me, I prayed aboutit, talked with my mom about it,
my family about it, and I feltlike I was supposed to say yes.
So I did that as well asserving at my alma mater as a
resident director.
So I did that for a period oftime, and then um from that
point forward, I was launchedinto ministry and the rest is
history.
Renee Richel (04:33):
That's amazing.
It's amazing.
I always say the steppingstones that get us to ultimately
his bigger plan are alwaysbetter than we imagine.
But when we're in it, it'slike, what is happening?
Right.
Bri DuPree (04:44):
Right, right.
Renee Richel (04:45):
So I love that.
Okay, so as a single woman inministry, because as a
matchmaking company, we areworking with single hearts all
the time, as well as ourno-match ones.
How do you personally definekingdom work and what does that
look like in your everyday life?
Bri DuPree (05:03):
Yeah, that's a great question.
I I think kingdom work is doinganything in your life that
helps advance the kingdom ofGod.
And I tell people all the timethat I think that looks a lot
simpler than we make it.
Like sometimes I think peoplethink it has to be like you have
to be serving in a churchministry or you have to be
serving in a ministry capacity.
But I really do think it boilsdown to what does God make you
(05:26):
passionate about and what do youget excited about ever when you
wake up every morning and openyour eyes?
You know, like what fuels youfor some people?
That's art.
I can't draw a stick figure, soit's just not me.
Renee Richel (05:36):
I'm the same way.
I agree.
We're better at working withpeople, right?
Bri DuPree (05:40):
But I got some people in my life who are
incredible artists and theythey're not making quote unquote
Christian art, they're makingincredible paintings and uh
incredible music and all thesethings that are really making an
impact for the kingdom of God.
And I think for me, it reallystarts with I took a class
actually at Cedarville where Ihad to write a personal mission
(06:01):
statement for my life or apersonal business statement for
my life.
And it came out to for me thatI want to help people embrace
their process.
I think sometimes you rush somuch to like the end goal or to
promise that there's so much inbetween that whole process part,
that's the hard part.
Renee Richel (06:16):
Once we like we stop and smell the roses or all
the little details we got to gothrough, right?
Bri DuPree (06:23):
Exactly.
It's like, man, that thatprocess is hard.
But I realize I can help peopleembrace their process by being
a barista at Starbucks by juststopping them in the middle of
their day and saying, Hey, I'mso glad you came this morning.
How's your morning going?
What's the day like?
Bad traffic, bad morning, yourkids getting your nerves?
Okay, you're gonna be allright, keep going.
That's a way to help youembrace your process.
So it doesn't really have to doout thing with the job, it has
(06:45):
to do with knowing what God hasreally uh infused you with as
far as your purpose and passion,and then living that out.
So I think in my everyday life,I just happen to be able to do
that as a pastor.
But I tell people all the timeI can do it as a janitor, I can
do it as a barista, I can do itas a pastor.
Renee Richel (07:00):
Right, it's called looking up, saying hello,
smiling, and being kind topeople.
And it's amazing how it's likea trickle effect that then as a
single too, you just never know.
Bri DuPree (07:11):
Right, exactly right.
So it's just it's loving onpeople, like you said, and it's
I love it, um, being passionateabout those things and letting
God use the gifts that He'sgiven you already.
But I think that's what likewhat kingdom work is to me.
Renee Richel (07:24):
I love it.
Okay, so from your vantagepoint, what are some of the most
pressing emotional andspiritual challenges singles
face today?
Bri DuPree (07:33):
There there are two I can think of right now.
I think one is loneliness.
Renee Richel (07:37):
Yeah.
Bri DuPree (07:38):
Like I'm 35 years old right now, and I'm still
single.
Um well, I'm sorry, I'm 37.
See, I tried to I tried to makemyself younger.
I'm 37 years old right now.
And I'm still single, but oneof the things that I battle with
more than like sexual desire,more than just you know, wanting
intimacy romantically orphysically with a man is like
(07:58):
after I've worked all day,talking to people all day, I
would love to just come home andhave someone who's going to be
the pastor, leader of my home,and just let me be.
I can just crumble in your armsand just go about my day,
right?
And I think that's something asI've gotten older that I can't
really say I've wrestled withbecause I think I've I've come
to terms with where I'm at,where God has called me to.
(08:18):
But something that I've reallyrealized, man, that's the thing
I'm missing.
I think is that loneliness andwanting that companion.
And I think that's the secondpart of first battling that
loneliness to feel like you'redoing ministry or life by
yourself.
But the second is like justwanting someone to do life with,
you know, that is just where wecan go hang out or have a
(08:39):
vacation or uh we're sharingeach other's burdens very
intentionally because we'retogether.
So your problems are myproblems, and my problems are
your problems, and we're gonnago for this together.
And I have incredible family, Ihave incredible community, but
I I realize even over the yearsas I've gotten older, people
some people are seasonal andsome people are there forever.
They can come in and out.
(08:59):
But for me, uh in a covenantrelationship with the man of God
that that God would have for meis like we're stuck with each
other.
So through through hell or highwater, we're gonna figure this
out together, okay?
All right.
And so I think it's those twothings I think is that that
wrestling with loneliness couldbe a really hard thing.
And I think that deep desirefor a companion that is for you,
(09:20):
regardless of what happens inthe world.
All your friends leave, youknow, you got this one person
there.
If your family starts actingcrazy, you know, you got that
one person there.
So I think those are are two ofthe things that I think a lot
of signals wrestle with attimes.
Renee Richel (09:32):
And I couldn't agree more.
And I think I always telleverybody you're only one part
of the equation of two, right?
And so I love that it soundslike you're preparing the space
and preparing the readiness forthat person to come in because I
think that's half the battle,is like people are alone, but if
they're not working andpreparing to be their best
(09:52):
version of themselves, God knowsthey're not ready yet.
So that person doesn't comeinto their life.
And we say all day long in ourwork of what we do, timing is
everything too.
So I love it that you'vealready prepared that that
place, being intentional inprayer and knowing that someday
when that day does come, Ialways do say, then we focus our
(10:15):
time on that other person.
And sometimes our relationshipwith God, it goes a little bit
astray, but having it togetheris stronger of what he also
wants, too.
So it's a special time whenit's just you and God, too.
But it's also rewarding whenyou have that one.
So, how do you think the churchcan do a better job at
addressing this?
Because I know this is aconversation I have with pastors
all across the globe about howthe singles in church
(10:40):
environments really struggle.
Bri DuPree (10:42):
Yes, they do.
And I think it has to go beyondlike just having a singles
ministry, which I'm not againstsingle ministries.
I actually think they can besuper helpful, but I think
churches need to do a better jobof helping people wrestle with
the reality of their lonelinessand not just say, just go to
your house and pray and readyour Bible.
That's not gonna, that's notgonna take care of it all the
(11:04):
time.
Again, I believe in the powerof the word of God, I believe in
the power of prayer, but likehow do I actually wrestle with
and deal with loneliness?
How do I develop healthycommunity?
Because I know I have somepeople in my life who are
wrestling with being single andthey have no good friends and
they never really learn how tobe a good friend.
So you don't even know how tooperate well in community
because you're so focused onfinding that man or finding that
(11:27):
woman of God that you're justyou're bent on that that you're
not actually spending timedeveloping community.
So I think as a church, we cando a lot better job of equipping
people for interpersonalrelationships.
Um, talking about emotionalintelligence, how to even uh uh
embrace what it means to be apart of a community.
The second thing I think thatchurches have to wrestle with
(11:47):
and deal with is how do you dealwith sexual tension?
Understanding, I tell the girlsI mentor all the time, like it
is not a sin to be horny.
My personal my personal opinionis not a sin to be horny, but
it's how do I handle that?
How do I handle these naturalphysical desires that God gave
me, but I don't have anopportunity to release it in a
way that is biblical?
(12:08):
Right.
So, how do I handle that?
And how do I, and I feel likeso many people struggle with
sexual repression because we'rejust told you gotta wait until
you're married, you gotta waituntil you're married, you can't
do this, you can't go too far,you can't go to this base.
And it's like, I hear you.
And I'm not trying to say movethe biblical standard, I'm
trying to say you have to giveme some tools to help me figure
out what to do while I'm havingthese uh natural things that God
(12:32):
gave me.
Renee Richel (12:32):
It's a good thing, and so I think Well, and I
think it's something that ofcourse nobody ever talks about,
so it's like taboo, right?
So you just feel like then whatdo I do?
And right there's gonna getinto the details.
Right.
I love your candidness in yourin your uh say what it is,
right?
Bri DuPree (12:49):
Yeah, exactly right.
And I think I think it's justthat's how you start to really
embrace true community where youyou realize that like you're
not crazy.
Like I know one time atCedarville, you're not alone,
right?
Exactly right.
We had a uh a girl who came atCedarville and she spoke on uh
masturbation for women, andafter she spoke, it was a whole
it was a whole uh uh likeassembly that we had for women
(13:11):
in our community.
At that time, I was a residentdirector at Cedarville, and so
after that assembly, I had somany girls from my dorm come
into my office saying, Brie,I've wrestled with this, that,
and the other.
Because it just opened up theopportunity for conversation,
and they just felt so relievedto know that they weren't the
only ones that had thesedesires, and I think it just it
(13:32):
brought a wave of healthyconversations around sexual
desire and relationship that umI wish happened more in church.
Renee Richel (13:39):
Yeah, I love that.
And for anybody that'slistening listening, you may be
getting a an influx of uh emailsand questions coming here.
Bring them on.
I will leave that to you in theuh pastoral role that you do
have.
Bri DuPree (13:52):
Bring them on.
Renee Richel (13:53):
Oh, I love it.
Okay, so singleness can be ascary season.
What biblical truths orpersonal um practices would you
encourage singles to embracewhile navigating this time of
waiting?
Bri DuPree (14:06):
Yeah, I think when we when we use the picture of
someone waiting, sometimespeople think waiting means I'm
sitting in a corner with mysitting on my hand.
Uh for me, waiting is not that.
For me, waiting is umdeveloping who God's called me
to be.
Um I think embracing what whoGod's called me to be, embracing
(14:28):
who um uh how I'm called tointeract with the world around
me, um, developing passions.
One of the things I was calledout recently by my therapist was
the fact that I had no hobbies.
She was like, You do ministry,great, you have like you know,
family time, friend time, butlike, what are your hobbies?
And I couldn't think of one.
So I was challenged to findsome hobbies because um I think
(14:52):
I I'm old enough now and havetalked people through.
I have married many couples,um, talked people through their
relationship relationship issuesand um their relationships
enough to know that once you getmarried doesn't mean that all
of your desires and passions andthose things go away.
So one of the things that Iwant to do is know like know who
Brie is, um know what Brielikes to do, know what I enjoy,
(15:15):
know uh uh who I am in God, um,so that my husband and I um have
the opportunity to really fullyexperience each other and not
having to work through again,we're all in process, and I'm
not saying I'm gonna be perfect,but I think I've I've taken
this mindset of waiting is notme waiting on my hands.
(15:35):
Um, waiting is me actuallyexploring and developing who
God's called for me to be.
And that has been a reallyexciting thing for me to do.
Renee Richel (15:43):
I love that.
And it ties right into ourcourse, Love Starts With You
with God, which is I always sayto my singles, God is waiting to
hear from you, and not to besomebody that we think we should
be or uh you know, dwell in ourpast decisions or things that
we've done.
But to meet you where you aretoday, to have like house talk
(16:05):
conversations, endless momentswith God that I always tell on
my singles.
I'm like, if anybody asks whyyou're still single or how you
haven't met that person, I'mlike, tell them you're dating
Jesus.
And truly the time ofsingleness and waiting should be
your most precious time thatyou're dating Jesus.
Because when you add somebodyelse into your life, I gotta be
(16:26):
honest, you then divide up yourtime because you also are
spending time with somebodyelse.
So it's like the coolest timeand it's the most undivided time
you have to find your purpose,your passion, and do something
of a hobby, right?
Too.
Bri DuPree (16:38):
Absolutely.
Renee Richel (16:40):
I love that.
Okay, so ministry often umintersects with real life
relationships, which is kind ofwhat you were just saying.
So can you share a story eitherfrom your own life or a
pastoral experience where yousaw God move powerful,
powerfully through arelationship?
Bri DuPree (16:58):
For me, I've really um it's just going back to when
I was talking about like I feellike singles need to learn how
to embrace community is one ofthe things that I've really been
pushed to embrace, not only onebecause I'm a pastor, but also
two realizing that I need peoplearound me.
And some of my um, actuallysome of my friends from college,
especially especially some ofmy guy friends, I can think of
(17:20):
uh uh five of them right now.
We actually have a Marco Polofriend that we've had for the
last like eight years that wejust talk almost every day on
this thread.
But in my relationship withthem, they've really taught me
what it means to be a woman.
And what I mean by that is theyhave this way of respecting my
(17:40):
leadership in their life astheir pastor, but also
respecting my femininity.
So it's little things that Ihad to learn, like letting them
hold the door open for me.
You know, if they come over,let them take out the trash.
Because again, I live a lot bymyself, so I'm like, yeah, I can
do these things, but I think inour relationship um over the
years, they do a great job ofjust really still loving me and
(18:01):
saying, you know, Bree, we loveyou as our pastor, but also like
we're your big brothers.
So, and some of them areyounger than me, but they still
say themselves as my bigbrother.
Renee Richel (18:09):
So let him be a man, right?
Bri DuPree (18:10):
Let them be 100%.
So I gotta let them be men.
I gotta let them bet the guysthat I'm dating.
I gotta let them have thosehard conversations.
You know, my my father passedaway a few years ago from COVID.
So I don't really have thatlike strong male figure in my
life outside of my pastor, um,and uh outside of some of my
family members.
But as far as like brothers, Ihave one biological brother, but
(18:31):
he's younger than me.
Um uh uh and so we findourselves now in the space of
like, man, where are the likemale friendships that are really
teaching me how to like be awoman?
And it's been fun too, becauseuh uh three of them are married.
So I'm getting to know theirwives and they're getting to
know their kids and just beingin a relationship with all of
them.
It's like, okay, this is whathealthy relationships look like.
Renee Richel (18:51):
Like this is Yes, and amen to that.
Because I know how difficultand I remember in my season of
waiting and dating and takingyears and thinking, why, God,
why, or how long, right?
Right.
Also hanging out with marriedcouples and surrounding yourself
around healthy married couples.
Now, you don't always want tobe the third wheel, but there's
nothing better to start towitness and see.
(19:12):
So when you do meet thatperson, you're that much more
equipped to be married.
Like the secret I learned wasstart reading marriage books
while you're single.
So when you meet that person,you're already gonna be uh
frequent in how to communicatewith a the opposite sex and b,
think marriage-minded.
Because I always say if youwant to be forever single, then
(19:32):
read single books, and then theywill make sure that you are,
you know, you're only one sideof it.
And that's the one thing Idon't think people think through
is like a marriage is two,right?
Bri DuPree (19:41):
So absolutely.
No, I love that.
That's great advice.
Renee Richel (19:45):
So there's a lot of noise around love and dating,
obviously, in today's day andage we live in.
It's crazy, it's scary, it'srisky, it's tough out there.
What's one misconception youoften hear Christians believe
about relationships and how canwe reframe uh that through a
biblical lens?
Bri DuPree (20:07):
Yeah, I think the biggest one I can think of that
I've heard a lot is that there'sonly one person for you.
And um I think, especially insome of like church circles and
stuff, it's kind of like, well,God told me this is my man, and
then they get married tosomebody else, and everybody's
and then their whole worldcollapsed because that was
(20:27):
supposed to be the one that wasfor you.
And for me, I believe that thatGod really can join together
people who have similarpassions, beliefs, and all those
things.
And I'll leave all theconnecting points to you and
your couple, you guys know whatthat looks like, but I do
believe that there uh, as thephrase goes, that there is more
than one fish in the sea.
(20:48):
And so helping people realizeand like breathe after a heart
breakup or breathe after a hardbroken relationship, be able to
say, okay, there was more thanjust that one guy, there was
more than just that one girl.
Like, we can we're gonna moveforward, you're gonna find
someone else.
And I, you know, people we canget stuck in our mindset of
saying, Well, I'll find no onewho was as good as him.
He checked off all my boxes andeverything on my list.
(21:10):
And it's like, okay, that thatwas one guy, it's gonna be okay.
Let's keep moving forward.
And so I know that's one thingthat that I am even now helping
some people work through ofsaying, okay, I get it.
Your eyes were set on him, buthe's moved forward.
So we got to figure out a wayfor you to move forward too,
because there's somebody elsewho might have their eyes on
you, but you're so stuck on him.
(21:31):
And I actually have a friendnow who's married after having
dealt with some of this, andshe's married to a man who um
I'm glad it, I'm glad it was himand not the other guy.
I'll say it that way.
Like, I'm just it just wasobvious that, right?
Yes, it was obvious that it wasa God thing of like, oh, this
is the man for you 100%.
The other guy, he was good, hewas fine, there's nothing wrong
(21:51):
with him.
But man, the one you're marriedto now, oh yeah, you guys were
definitely made for each other,and they have a beautiful family
now.
So um, but yeah, I think that'sone of the misnomers is that
there's just that one person,and I think it stops people from
you might run into this, butwhat you do, it stops people
from dating because they'rewaiting for that one.
Renee Richel (22:10):
Yeah, and it's funny because I just did a
woman's uh talk last nightexactly on this topic.
And it's amazing how I'm like,you know, our most powerful tool
God gives us is our mind,right?
And it's amazing how if you goback to the trajectory of life,
even childhood and whatever, howmany times you could fall in
and out of love with somebodyand who you thought was your
(22:31):
high school, you know, love, youfall out of and you fall in
love again.
And vice versa, right?
And so the truth of it is thatwe do this needs and wants
analysis, which is like aroadmap in a prayerful way of
intentionally holding ourselvesaccountable for what are our
non-negotiables.
Because what happens in loveand in today's Instagram world
and just in general onlinedating is everybody's like
(22:53):
window shopping, right?
And so we fall in love a lotunless.
And then all of ournon-negotiables go quickly out
of the window, and then wewonder why it doesn't work out
down the road.
And so in our business, we holdour clients and just in
general, even our matches, likeaccountable for those
(23:14):
non-negotiables, because at theend of the day, the world is
full of plenty of options.
It's hard to find without amatchmaker, right?
Kind of into trusted handsbeing there between um both
parties.
However, I do say the one thingto stay steadfast in is your
non-negotiables that you've beenprayerfully intentionally
(23:34):
praying.
And they they don't align toyour forever.
And if you write a love letterto your future spouse and they
don't align with somebody you'redating, then get out.
There is somebody else.
I do believe you can fall inand out of love with multiple
people, but when you do find theone, because I am now there,
right?
Myself, I'm like, then you knowthat is the one.
Bri DuPree (23:57):
So I love that.
I love that.
That's excellent.
Renee Richel (24:00):
For the one who feels overlooked, weary,
heartbroken.
What words of encouragement ortruth would you speak to someone
who's discouraged in theirsingleness and healing from a
broken relationship?
Bri DuPree (24:16):
Yeah, I I think um one of the things I've learned
actually also at a class atCedarville was the importance of
developing a theology ofsuffering as a human, meaning an
understanding of God in themidst of suffering.
Because no matter where you arein life, we're all gonna suffer
through something.
However, when we develop kindof an understanding of suffering
(24:39):
when we're not suffering inthat moment, it helps us to kind
of, I think, uh wrestle withthose grief and those moments.
And for me, it's really it'shelped me realize like the pain
is still gonna be there, but Godis with me in that and he also
cares.
And I think what I would say tosomeone who is maybe wrestling
with loneliness or wrestlingwith a broken relationship is
(25:01):
knowing that God like does careabout what you're going through.
He's in fact, I believe, cryingwith you, weeping with you, um,
desiring and moving forwardwith you.
Um, and I think that's one ofthe most beautiful parts of
grief.
I experienced a lot of grief inmy life, um, of realizing that
I'm not dealing with this alone,that God cares and he actually
(25:21):
wants um good things for me.
I think it was A.
W.
Tozer who said that what webelieve about God is the most
important thing about us.
And so if I believe that God isa God who gives good gifts,
like it says in scripture, thatif your father, if your early
father give you good good, giveyou good gifts, how much more
does your heavenly father wantto give you good gifts?
If I believe he does want togive me good things, then I have
(25:43):
to believe that that rightperson is coming.
I have to believe even afterthis, it's on the way because
that's just his nature, that'shis character, and that's what
I'm choosing to believe abouthim, not just from a feeling,
but from what scripture outlineshim to be, is the God who wants
us to have life and lifeabundantly.
And so I would encourage themto say that your season of tears
(26:05):
won't be forever, but I reallydo believe is what's uh the
thing.
The psalmist uh has thisbeautiful metaphorical language
where he says that God collectsour tears and God doesn't
collect things that he doesn'tend up using.
And so I know that there'sgoing to be a great harvest even
from this moment of grief andweeping.
Renee Richel (26:21):
I totally agree.
And I love that uh uh art wewere talking about earlier of
like footprints in the sand, andit's just one and you feel
alone, but you realize God'scarrying you and it's his
footprints, not two, right?
Just because it's him throughthat season of feeling lonely.
Um, and it's funny because Itell people all day long, too.
So I now at 45 finally met thelove of my life, right?
(26:44):
And it's very clear, but I lookback at it from all those years
and all those heartbreaks andall those, you know, good, bad,
or toxic or healthy, whateverrelationships.
I'm like, the moment of likewhen and why and how, why is it
taking so long?
And I look back at it as like Iwasn't a hundred percent ready.
And I look back at them that atthe time it didn't make any
(27:08):
sense and how many years it waslonely and dark and like I just
never gonna happen.
Um, but then when we get out ofour own way and we truly
prepare ourselves, then I'mlike, I wouldn't have been ready
15 years ago.
I wouldn't have been, I wasn'tthe person that I am even 10,
five, six years ago, right?
And so it really is one ofthose things that witnessing our
(27:29):
clients fall in love and whothey choose and who chooses them
back is nobody they ever wouldhave imagined, but it's so much
better than they imagined.
And I always say it's becausethey went through the stepping
stones of what God needed toteach them, and some are longer
than others.
I promise you, for hope, thatit does eventually happen and it
is so worth the wait when uhyou're patient through the
(27:50):
journey and trusting in the Lordand not giving up on that first
and foremost.
Bri DuPree (27:55):
That's right.
That's right.
That's beautiful.
Renee Richel (27:57):
If you could sit with every single person
preparing for marriage, what onepiece of wisdom or caution you
wish more people would take uhto heart earlier on in the
relationship?
Bri DuPree (28:12):
I would say give your spouse the gift of not
having to complete you.
One of the things that I'm veryexcited about when I do meet
the man that God has for me isthat he will never be pressured
by me to complete me.
Because I've had all this timeto find out who Bree is.
I know who Bree is, I know whatI want.
(28:45):
What we talking about before,those non-negotiables, like I
know that.
And when I do meet him, I'm notgoing to be looking for him to
complete me.
I'm going to be looking for himto be my partner, to be my
companion.
I want us to do life together.
He doesn't have to carry the healready has to carry the weight
and the responsibility of beingthe head of the home and loving
me like Christ loves thechurch.
That's enough pressure, Ithink.
(29:06):
So you told that part, I'mgonna do it my part of um making
sure I'm loving you well andsupporting you and covering you
and all those things.
And so I think that's one ofthe things that I tell,
especially women all the time,is like some I feel like some
people I've talked to, they'relooking for a man to complete
them.
They're like, my life willwon't be complete until
someone's there.
(29:26):
And I say I get the desire fora man 100%.
I understand.
I get the desire for acompanion, but man, that's way
too much pressure.
And that's why sometimes we runguys out of our lives,
honestly, if we're not careful.
And for guys running women outof your lives, is because you're
trying to make them completesome missing portion.
And I just say, Man, give themthe gift of saying, Hey, you
don't have to complete me, wejust get to walk alongside each
(29:48):
other.
Renee Richel (29:49):
And I do say what screwed that up for everybody is
that movie Jerry Maguire.
Bri DuPree (29:53):
Yes.
Renee Richel (29:54):
And we all heard that, I don't know, 10, 20 years
ago.
I have no idea how much this isdating me, but back.
But we saw it.
And he whatever, he or she runsout and says, You complete me.
The worst line ever.
And I think everybody felt thatway after that movie because it
was such a romantic movie,right?
But I'm like, no, if somebody'snot complete, you can't fix
(30:15):
them, nor do you want to have aproject.
So like make sure they'recomplete before.
And that's why, you know, whenpeople wonder why they're still
single, I'm like, because maybeask God, are you complete yet?
And if you're not, that's why.
Right.
Okay.
In what ways have your lifeexperience shaped how you lead
(30:36):
love and live out your faith?
And how do you hope yourjourney might speak to others
navigating similar paths?
Bri DuPree (30:43):
Part of it is because I am a pastor and I have
the privilege of talking to somany people.
I've heard so many stories.
And I tell people a lot oftimes I have a preventative
testimony.
My testimony isn't crazy.
My testimony is what I sharedat the beginning of this
podcast.
I grew up in the church,nothing really ever wild or
crazy happened to me.
I've had, you know, deaths inthe family and things like that.
(31:04):
But I don't really have one ofthose like crazy, like I did
this, that, and the other.
But my lot of my testimony'sbeen preventative because of all
the stories I've heard.
I've talked to so many peopleabout so much of their
processes, whether it be throughrelationships or life in
general.
And I think we can just do alot better job of um listening
(31:24):
well.
And I think that's something Istrive to do is just listen
well, listen to people'sjourney, listen actually caring
about people when I see them atchurch.
You know, when you go to churchand everyone's like, How you
doing?
Everybody says, Good and walkaway.
But people know that when I askthem, I really care.
And so I can even get caught upsometimes in that pastoral mode
of just saying hi to everybodyand say, How are you doing?
And everybody's like, uh, thisweek was rough.
And I go, and then I have tolike switch back and say, Oh,
(31:46):
wait, great, you care for real.
So let's stop.
Yes, greeting time, but I'mgonna stop for 30 seconds and
kind of hear about what yourweek was like real quick.
We'll talk about it afterservice, but I actually want to
know what's going on.
So um, for me, I think it'sjust the importance of helping
people embrace their process,embracing my own process.
But I think the key to that forme has been really learning to
(32:07):
listen well and um not talkingas much.
I'm an extrovert, I can talk alot, um, I preach a lot, so I
I'm a talker um by nature, butit's really learning the art of
just shutting up at times andjust listening, listening to
people's stories and theirjourney.
And I think that's reallyhelped me live out my faith well
because I say it all the timethat I rather sometimes um I I
(32:29):
want to be in a position where Ilove Jesus more than I love
being right about everything.
So I'm just gonna listen toyou, try to love you like Jesus
would, and um let God do his jobof convicting hearts and um and
guiding you in that way.
Renee Richel (32:42):
Well, that's awesome.
And I love that when we talkabout your hobbies, I think one
of it is that you're in yourcalling and that God uses your
voice and just your beauty andyour infectious personality of
allowing just people to sharesome things that they've never
shared with anybody before, andthat you just have this
accepting, unjudgmental justspirit about you that is
(33:05):
absolutely beautiful.
That is one of your hobbiesthat I think you put down
outside of what you do.
I know it goes hand in hand,but there's nothing better than
when you meet somebody that isin their calling and they're
living it out.
And you know, so many timespeople will say to me, How are
you so positive?
I'm like, Because every morningI wake up, I drink Jesus
Kool-Aid and I feel great.
(33:26):
And it makes a difference whenyou breathe it, when you walk it
and you talk it.
And uh things come from that.
So I I'm so excited that I havenow connected with you, met you
because now anybody you comeacross, or just yourself, we're
gonna have to get you to fillout a profile so that we know
you exist because that's wherewe work our magic in knowing
(33:49):
everybody's beautiful heart thatGod has created, because I do
believe there is someone foreverybody.
It's just hard to find.
But when a matchmaker knows alittle bit of everybody that's
placed a little bit ofeverywhere, and people have an
open mind too, it's not wherethey live, it's about finding
the right person.
And when it is the right one,God will move mountain and earth
(34:10):
for the two of you to betogether and wherever he wants
to place you and put you, right?
Bri DuPree (34:15):
Absolutely, absolutely he will.
I believe it.
Renee Richel (34:18):
So I will be keeping you in my prayers and
thoughts, and I can't wait towork together and continue to uh
speak this ministry for loveand that the great work that
you're doing for singles.
And uh, if anybody wants towrite in and hear more of Bri's
pearls of wisdom that I thinkyou could really help a lot of
our singles with, uh, please dothat.
(34:39):
Um and I can't wait for morechats with you and more to come.
Bri DuPree (34:42):
Absolutely.
My pleasure.
Thank you so much, Renee, forhaving me.
It's been great.
Renee Richel (34:45):
Thank you for joining us.
Have a blessed day.
Bri DuPree (34:48):
Thank you.
Renee Richel (34:54):
It's been another great talk on this episode of 1
True Talks by Renee Richel.
I look forward to our nextchat.
Please write in your questionsand comments so I can be sure to
talk about whatever it is youwant to discuss in our next
upcoming episode.
Lots of love.
God bless.
XOXO.
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