From Silent Treatment to Stronger Marriages: Communication with Love

Arguments are inevitable in even the strongest relationships, but the way we handle conflict determines whether it drives us apart or brings us closer together. The question isn't whether we'll fight—it's whether we're fighting in ways that heal or hurt. When conflict arises, the difference between healthy and unhealthy arguments becomes crucial. A constructive disagreement focuses on solving problems rather than attacking your partner, prioritizes listening over speaking, and leaves both people feeling heard and respected. Meanwhile, destructive patterns involve blame, yelling, bringing up past mistakes, and treating conversations like competitions. As Proverbs 15:1 beautifully reminds us, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Your tone can transform the entire conversation.

The silent treatment might feel like setting boundaries, but it's actually a harmful form of emotional withdrawal that creates distance rather than resolution. Instead of shutting down completely, try communicating your need for space: "I need a moment to gather my thoughts, but I want to talk about this." Two powerful tools can revolutionize your approach to conflict: the 5-hour rule (taking time to calm down, pray, and reflect before responding to something upsetting) and the 72-hour rule (addressing issues that still bother you after three days, while letting go of minor irritations). These practices help you choose your battles wisely and approach important conversations with clarity and compassion.

Ready to transform your arguments into opportunities for connection? Try implementing the 5-hour and 72-hour rules this week, start difficult conversations with prayer, and remember—God didn't call us to avoid conflict, but to handle it with wisdom and love. Share this episode with someone you care about, and join me next week as we explore faith over frustration and letting go with grace.

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Episode Transcript

Renee Richel (00:07):
Hi, I'm Renee Richel, the founder and
president of 1 True Match.
I'm here to help you find andcultivate the love of your life.
For over a decade, I'vededicated my life to the
importance, purpose and dynamicof human relationships.
My team and I are disciplinedby faith, love and integrity to
help our clients find thequality relationship they've

(00:28):
always dreamt of.
Each week, I will be sharingthe tools and tips I've learned
that have rooted my success as amatchmaker with other leaders
around the world.
Hello Loves, I hope you havehad an incredible week.
Welcome back to 1 True Talkswhere we have real conversations

(00:50):
about love, relationships andkeeping love at the center.
Today we're going to talk abouthealthy fights, stronger
marriage, breaking unhealthyhabits and communication with
love.
We're going to talk aboutsomething that every couple
deals with how to argue in a waythat's actually healthy.

(01:11):
Let's be real, fights happen.
Even in the best relationships.
There will be disagreements.
The question is are we fightingin a way that brings us closer
or are we fighting in a way thatpushes us apart?
So today we're covering thedifference between a healthy

(01:32):
fight and an unhealthy one, whythe silence treatment is toxic
and how the 5-hour rule and72-hour rule can help us break
bad communication habits Because, let's face it, god didn't call
us to avoid conflict, but hedid call us to handle it with

(01:53):
wisdom and love.
So grab your Bible, yourjournal and a beverage of choice
and let's get into it.
So what does a healthy fightactually look like?
A healthy argument focuses onsolving a problem, not attacking
the person.
Involves listening more thantalking, leaves both people

(02:18):
feeling heard and respected.
An unhealthy argument turnsinto a petty blame game,
involves yelling, shutting downand bringing up the past and
ultimately feels like acomplication instead of a
conversation.
One of the best verses to keepin mind when you're in the

(02:42):
middle of a disagreement isProverbs 15:1.
That reminds us.
A gentle answer turns awaywrath, but a harsh word stirs up
anger.
That means your tone matters.
The way you say something canmake it all the difference.

(03:04):
Are you speaking with love orare you speaking to win?
Okay, let's talk about thesilent treatment.
If you've ever been on thereceiving end of it, you know
how painful it feels.
And if you've ever been the onedoing it, let's be honest.
You were probably trying toprove a point right.

(03:27):
Here's the problem.
The silent treatment isn't away to set boundaries, it's a
way to shut someone out.
It's not solving anything.
It's creating more distance.
Now, there's nothing wrong withtaking a moment to calm down
before responding In fact,that's healthy.

(03:47):
But shutting down completely,that's not the move.
The Bible tells us in James1:19,.
Everyone should be quick tolisten, slow to speak and slow
to become angry.
So instead of shutting down,let's try this Sit.

(04:07):
I need a moment to gather mythoughts, but I want to talk
about this.
So set a time to come back tothe conversation, even if it's
later in the day.
Pray about your response beforeyou react.
Now here's a tool that canchange the way you communicate

(04:30):
the 5-hour rule and 72-hour rule.
The five-hour rule if you'reupset, don't react immediately.
Take a pause, calm down, prayabout it and reflect.
After five hours, I want you tocome back to your mate and try
to have a discussion about onetopic at a time.

(04:53):
This is when a lot of ourcouples take a pause to be able
to communicate truly deep downinside what they're feeling.
If, in five hours, you needmore time, at least you both
know you're coming back togetherbecause you love each other and
you've thought about it fromboth perspectives.
The 72-hour rule if somethingis bothering you more than three

(05:18):
days, it probably needs to beaddressed, but if, after 72
hours, you realize it's not thatbig of a deal, let it go.
So the 72-hour rule is reallydesigned to help us to reflect,
to process and respond in amatter of something that we feel

(05:43):
needs to be discussed and isn'tthat important in the moment.
This helps you avoidunnecessary fights while also
making sure you don't bottlethings up.
It's about choosing yourbattles wisely, and let's not
forget.
It's about choosing yourbattles wisely and let's not

forget in Proverbs 29 (06:01):
11, a fool gives full vent to his
anger, but a wise man holds itback.
Translation not every problemneeds a reaction, but the real
ones deserve a conversation.
So, in conclusion, at the endof the day, conflict is normal,

(06:23):
but the way we handle it, thatis what makes or breaks a
relationship.
Instead of silent treatment,choose communication Instead of
reacting.
Take time to reflect.
Instead of fighting to be right, fight to understand.
To be right, fight tounderstand.

(06:44):
This week, I challenge you touse the 5-hour rule and the
72-hour rule in the next timesomething upsets you and, most
importantly, invite God into theconversations.
Start it off with prayer.
Ask God to speak through thetwo of you and he will.
That's it for today, for 1 TrueTalks.
If this episode speaks to you,share it with your friends or

(07:06):
your partner, and always keepGod in the center and I promise
you love will follow.
Next week we're gonna talkabout faith over frustration,
letting go with grace.
I hope you have a fabulous weekand can't wait for our next
chat.
God bless.
It's been another great talk onthis episode of 1 True Talks by

(07:33):
Renee Richel.
I look forward to our next chat.
Please write in your questionsand comments so I can be sure to
talk about whatever it is youwant to discuss in our next
upcoming episode.
Lots of Love, God Bless.
XOXO.