January 10, 2023 • 51 mins
Dr Beverly Browning shares her Do’s and Don’ts lessons; "DO appreciate yourself", "DON’T be hard on yourself when you make mistakes", "Do celebrate yourself" and more. Hosted by Diana White
About Dr Beverly BrowningDr Beverly A. Browning (Dr Bev) – The Grant Doctor is a non-profit capacity-building consultant and revenue-generating visionary. She is a grant-writing consultant who uses thought leadership to work with eligible organizations struggling with the woes of revenue stream imbalances. Dr Bev and her team members have helped her clients win over $750 million in grant awards. She has been researching grant funding, grant making trends, and board-related barriers to non-profit capacity building for over 47 years.
Dr Bev is the founder and director of the Grant Writing Training Foundation and Bev Browning LLC. Dr Bev is the author of 47 grant writing publications, including seven editions of Grant Writing for Dummies (2001-2022), the 6th edition of Non-profit Kit for Dummies (2021), and the 4th edition of Fundraising for Dummies (2022).
She has also created six courses for Ed2go.com dba Cengage Learning. Her instructor-led online asynchronous courses include A to Z Grant Writing (1 & 2), Advanced Proposal Writing, Becoming a Grant Writing Consultant, Non-profit Manager, Winning RFP Responses. and Professional Grant Writing.
Dr Bev is an approved strategic planning facilitator and training provider for CFRE International (AFP), the Grant Professionals Association (GPA), and the Grant Professionals Certification Institute (GPCI). In addition, she has also created two Zoom-based live training courses, Coaching & Mentoring for New and Struggling Grant Writers (16 weeks) and Freelance Grant Writing Consultant’s Boot Camp (4 weeks). Her classes fill up months before they are offered. Dr Bev lives her life with faith and discernment.
Episode Notes
Lesson 1: DO appreciate yourself: I am worthy of success. 03:29 Lesson 2: DO create a spiritual foundation: I am a withering flower without faith. 06:38 Lesson 3: DO not be hard on yourself when you make mistakes: Mistakes fuel patience and do-overs.12:26 Lesson 4: DO live your life fully: Yesterday can’t be replayed, and tomorrow is not a promise. Live for today. 15:35 Lesson 5: DO celebrate yourself: Pat yourself on the back, create BIG PICTURE plans or incentives to celebrate your life. 20:27 Lesson 6: DON’T beat yourself up over mistakes. Move on with lessons learned. 30:35 Lesson 7: DON’T isolate yourself when you are going through hard or trying times. 34:53 Lesson 8: DON’T give up, ever! 36:49 Lesson 9: DON’T let your mind get stagnant. 43:06 Lesson 10: DON’T let your health decline! 44:27
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
hello and welcome to 10 Lessons Learned,where we talk to leaders and luminaries
from all over the world to dispense wisdomfor career, business, and life in order
to make the world wiser lesson by lesson.
My name is Diana White and I'myour host for this episode.
Our guest today is Dr.
Beverly Browning.
Dr.
(00:28):
Beverly A.
Browning, a k, a, Dr.
Bev, the grant doctor is a nonprofitcapacity building consultant and
revenue generating visionary.
Dr.
Bev and her team have helpedher clients win over 750
million dollars in grant awards.
She has been researching grantfunding, grant making trends, and
(00:49):
board related barriers to nonprofitcapacity building for over 47 years.
Dr.
Bev is the founder and directorof the Grant Writing Training
Foundation and Bev Browning, LLC.
Dr.
Bev is the author of 47 grantwriting publications, including
seven editions of Grant Writing forDummies, the sixth edition of Nonprofit
(01:12):
Kit for Dummies, and the fourthedition of Fundraising for Dummies.
She has also created sixcourses for Cengage Learning.
Dr.
Bev lives her life withfaith and discernment.
Welcome, Dr.
Bev.
Thank you so much for theinvitation to be on the show.
I really appreciate it.
Oh, I, you know, you're, you're oneof the most humble human beings I
(01:35):
know, but this is an honor for me.
I can tell you that.
Thank you.
Well, I, I am, uh, I'm notgonna pull any punches.
I'm gonna get started right awaywith the first question, Dr.
Bev, what would you tellyour 30 year old self
?That they're going to be rough years ahead?
You're going to lose a son at birth.
(01:57):
You're going to experience a moveto another state, unknown at 30, but
you know, you're leaving Michigan andyou have to finish your education.
You cannot climb the career ladderor even plot out your own dream.
If that dream happens to be abusiness with an associate degree.
(02:19):
You have to have more.
You have to polish yourcritical thinking skills.
You have to understand theways of the corporate world.
The ways of the nonprofit world andthe powers that be, that hold onto
the money that you have to produce abusiness plan or some kind of a magic
appeal to, to try to get that startupmoney for anything you wanna do.
(02:43):
I would just say have patience.
It's gonna be a long road.
And babe, you ain't done yet.
I love it.
I love it.
you know, I, I have been askedthat question myself, what would
I tell my 30 year old self?
I think I would tell my 30year old self wait for Dr.
Bev to come and tell you.
What's your ? I love it.
(03:06):
I love it.
So I will tell you,listeners and viewers, Dr.
Bev's lessons are listed askind of dos and don'ts for life.
And I love the way they're worded.
and the first two are kind of,I wanna say they're mantras.
I would use these as mantras.
But I wanna give you, uh, an ideabecause it's not our traditional.
(03:27):
Format, but I love it.
So, lesson number one, doappreciate yourself, and the
mantra is, I am worthy of success.
Dr.
Beth, tell us how you cameto know that to be true
by working with clients.
back in the day before, I had guidelinesand boundaries by spending six years
(03:51):
in the corporate sector where all of myconfidence was flattened, to zero and.
giving notice, giving a two weeknotice with no idea where my next
dollar was gonna come from becauseI had a non-compete contract, which
meant that during the six years Iwas with this corporation building
(04:11):
a division of their company, I hadto put my business on the side.
I couldn't take any clients, Icouldn't do any grant writing,
um, needed permission for anypublications that I was gonna write.
And honestly, I lost so much of me inthat corporate hustle that when I gave
(04:32):
that two week notice, I had no plan.
No clue.
And I just sort of threw my handsup and I said, I'm gonna let all of
my colleagues in the grant writingworld know I need subcontract work.
I need help bringing dollars inthe door until I can figure out
how to relaunch what I was doingbefore this six year disruption.
(04:56):
So that really is, iswhere that comes from.
we've all been flattened bysomeone or something in our
lives, multiple times, many of us.
But it's about how we pick ourselvesup, how we move on, and how we move
on without anger, without the stress,without the guilt, but in the innocence
(05:20):
to just believe in ourself and, and havea spiritual belief that when you close
the door or a door is closed for you.
There is something magnificentwaiting for you ahead.
You just have to inhale, exhale, and wait.
(05:42):
truer words have never been spoken.
And I know this to be true becausein my life, I consider myself to
be a, professional, loyal puppy.
I get ensconced in an organizationand, I'm there for life.
It really has to take something prettyoff-putting to get me out, right, or to
(06:03):
make me think maybe I, I need to move on.
And I've come to learn to be gratefulto those circumstances when they
happen because, it's been my onlyguide to let me know that I need,
there's something better for me.
And so anytime I've had, um, situationswhere, the work environment is,
hasn't been the happiest it could be.
(06:24):
.And I know it's timefor me to make a move.
I will look back upon and think of,the leadership fondly very fondly
because, without that agitation,I wouldn't be at this next level.
That's right.
Lesson number two, do createa spiritual foundation.
Here's another mantra foryou, listeners and viewers.
(06:47):
I am a withering flower without faith.
I am a withering flower without faith.
Dr.
Beth, talk to us about that.
I would have to say that my faithjourney started as a child, but because
I was a child, I just thought it wasmy job to step up and be baptized.
I didn't understand whatweight that carried with it.
(07:10):
So after we were married and Imarried at 18, my husband was
21, we, we had hardly anything.
We decided to, to have our firstchild, because I was in community
college, we were struggling.
We'd just gotten our first house,it, had a lot of things wrong
with it, and we went into debt andI just said, you know, not now.
(07:32):
I need to get my associate's degree.
Well, um, after we went through thatlittle period of, you know, hustling and
working and trying to pay things off.
We were ready to have our firstchild and nothing happened.
We found out that we couldn't, wewent to all these specialists and
doctors and they said, you know,you're just gonna have to settle.
(07:53):
You're, you're not going to have children.
And these were the days beforethey grew lab babies, by the
way, way back in the day.
And so we, you know, did whatany young couple would do.
We're both working.
Uh, we got a motorcycle, we got a boatand took it out, you know, on the lake.
And about that time, my mom, whodid not raise me, but we had a, a
(08:19):
good relationship, she said, I wannago to church, and there's a church
across the street from my house.
But it's a Catholic church,and in order to join it, you
have to take catechism classes.
And I said, well, mom, you should do that.
And she said, I, I'mafraid to do it alone.
(08:39):
And I said, so what does that mean?
And she says, I want you to go with me.
And I said, you want me to change frombeing Baptist to convert to Catholicism?
And she said, yeah, I really wannago, but I don't wanna go alone.
And she said, I want youto come here on Sunday.
And then we walk across thestreet together and we go.
(09:03):
And so I said yes.
And we took these classes.
I, they were forever, they were along time . Um, and then after we
took the classes, we were confirmedon Christmas Eve, of that year,
and I believe it was 1976 it was.
And we still had given upon having children and being
(09:25):
confirmed on Christmas Eve.
And then in January, my husband and Itook a trip to Toronto, Canada, because we
lived in Michigan, then Flint, Michigan.
That's where I was born.
And.
and I came back and Ihad some kind of a bug.
I was feeling sick, throwing up,coughing, blowing, you name it.
(09:46):
And I went to the doctor andhe gave me an antibiotic.
And when I got home and I had the pill inmy hand to take it, something said, stop.
You cannot take this medication.
And so I just flushed it down the toiletand it's like, what has come over me?
(10:08):
I'm gonna be sick forever.
So about six weeks later.
I went back to the doctor andI said, I still feel horrible.
I didn't take the medication.
Something told me to stop.
And he said, you need to haveanother script and I'm gonna put
you on Valium for this hysteria.
And I said, wait a minute, wait a minute.
(10:30):
And I said, we were told we could neverhave a baby, but something keeps saying
maybe you should do a blood test.
And so he said, to please your psychosis.
I will.
And of course, this was a male doctorand he took the test and I, I came home
and then I got this call and he said,I'm so grateful you flushed those pills
(10:53):
down the toilet and that you refusedto take, antipsychotic medication.
The last time you were in the office.
He said, you are pregnant.
Congratulations.
And I just associated that with.
giving my life to Christ in theCatholic Church, along with my mom.
And I'll never forget that.
(11:15):
I have chills.
I have chills.
and viewers and listeners, youknow, we love sending these lessons
to younger generations that arestill trying to find their ways.
So you don't have to go throughthe hardships that we went through.
And a lot of things over theyears have gotten better.
Right.
(11:35):
But one thing that is still true is thatyou have to be your own health advocate.
Yes.
Even if you don't know, even if you'reyou, you would say, well, they're
the ones that went to med school.
I'm gonna put it in their hands.
Ask questions if somethingdoesn't feel right.
Whatever you believe in if youbelieve in your own self, Your gut
(11:58):
instinct is telling you something.
If you're a spiritual person,God is telling you something.
Listen, listen to it and ask thequestion and be brave like Dr.
Bev.
Say, I'm not taking these meds,until I get further testing.
That is absolutely an amazing story.
I mean, if you're a spiritual person,you just, you see, you see how it
(12:21):
all aligns and how it makes senseand how you were being protected.
Okay.
Lesson number three, Dr.
Bev.
Here we go.
Do not be hard on yourselfwhen you make mistakes.
Mistakes, fuel, patience, and do-overs.
So where has this manifesteditself in your life?
Dr.
Bev.
Making mistakes all of my life.
(12:43):
Listening to other people tell me Icouldn't do things or, you know, how
would this look in the community?
Or people expect better of you?
Or why would you leave a good jobthat you could have worked on for 30
years and had a retirement, um, togo out and launch your own business?
(13:05):
Foolish, foolish woman.
Don't you think if it were possibleto make a living being a grant
writer, 40, you know, 40 hours aweek, that we all would've done it.
We are all veteranexperienced grant writers.
You're going to go broke,you're not gonna be successful.
And I was in a meeting of a group.
(13:25):
Genesee County group of grant writersin Flint, Michigan, they were all older
than me and they had been out therewriting grants as an employee forever.
And they said, don't you think if we coulddo this and actually switch over, that any
of us would be working for somebody else.
We'd have our own consulting business.
What makes you think peoplewill even wanna work with you?
(13:47):
I mean, you're just a no name.
Why would they do that?
And I quit that group that day, and Icame home and it's like, I'm doing this.
I love it.
It takes patience.
I didn't curse.
I wasn't angry.
I just said, this is my last meeting.
I can't come back.
(14:07):
I can't believe that you're discouragingme from trying something that none
of you have been brave enough to try.
That's right.
I mean, and it's one of the thingsthat I've learned for sure in,
in my mentorship of young women,especially young women of color.
It's like cheerlead for them.
Give them the power.
Let them know they can do it.
(14:28):
And then get out of their way.
Exactly.
Exactly.
There were no dreams in that group.
Yeah.
Well they had a dream 30 yearsof working nine to five and then
retire and live a cushy life.
Yeah.
You know, You and I both know that,that is a prevalent thing and it's
something that I've talked about onthe show, uh, quite frequently, which
(14:49):
is the dynamic of the African Americanfamily nucleus, where it's like, get
that government job, work 30 years,get your watch, get your pension,
and, you know, shut up, head down.
And I did not follow that route.
And, there was a lot of worry, not,not so much ridicule, they didn't
ridicule, but there was a lot of worry.
(15:09):
What's gonna happen to this girl?
How's she gonna make it, you know?
I'm not saying that my path waseasier, and I'm not saying that
it was the right thing to do.
What I'm saying is whereI am now, I'm happy.
And I don't think I would've gottenthere if I hadn't taken my own path.
(15:31):
Ditto.
All right, lesson number four.
do live your life fully yesterday.
Can't be replayed andtomorrow is not a promise.
Live for today.
And again, you grew up Baptist, you grewup, uh, you know, Pentecostal, whatever
(15:54):
it is, we, we all hear those words.
Tomorrow is not promise.
God doesn't promise tomorrow, but Ilove the way you put it here yesterday.
Can't be replayed andtomorrow is not a promise.
So live for today.
I love that.
Talk to me about that, Dr.
Beth.
Well, I made a lot of mistakes and Icarried a lot of guilt for decades.
(16:15):
Um, and it wasn't just my guilt, it wasguilt that I heard from other people.
Um, maybe my mom, my parents,not so much my grandparents.
They were very encouraging.
but.
The demeanor.
You're never gonna have anything,you know, getting married
at 18, when's the baby due?
(16:38):
Um, you know, hey, and oh, and I haveto tell you, when's the baby due?
So I kept saying, I'm not pregnant.
I'm not pregnant, I'm gettingmarried to get outta your house,
This is not, this is not shotgun.
It's an escape.
It's an escape.
It's a prison break.
(16:58):
Yeah.
So 12 years later, when I gavebirth to our daughter and my parents
came to the hospital and I said,how does this 12 year baby look
I love it.
I
love it.
Oh, and, and I don't, I don't know aboutyou, but you know, in my experience,
(17:18):
I had my daughter, young, I was 22.
And I wasn't married and my entirepregnancy was, you know, disaster
upon the family, shame upon thefamily, oh, what are you gonna do?
How are you gonna get ahead?
And then as soon as this littlebrown bundle of joy came, it was
(17:39):
like, get out of the way, girl.
Give me my grandbaby.
You know, get, gimme my baby.
Where's that baby?
You know?
And I, and I said to my mom at one point,just a little tongue in cheek, I said,
you know, all this love that you'repouring on this baby, which I, which
I am so grateful for I if you, if youwould've, if you would've sent a sliver
(17:59):
of that my way when I was pregnant, maybe.
I don't know, maybe I would've been alittle bit mentally stable, a little
bit happier in my, in my pregnancyand what I was going through.
Um, and it's always fascinating tosee how, when, when, uh, something
happens that the family doesn't agreewith, and especially if it's around
birth or, or a child that, you know,the, the, the mom to be is carrying
(18:25):
a lot of weight on their shoulders.
And then as soon as the baby comes,everybody forgets the things that they
said or the things that they thought,because this new life is bringing
joy into everybody's world, you know?
So we have some things in common,um, but we also have differences.
My parents never acted excitedwhen my daughter was born.
(18:49):
In fact, the day they came to thehospital to see her, they informed
me that after 31 years of marriagethey had filed for divorce.
Oh my goodness.
The first five minutes in the door inmy room on postpartum, they announced
that they were getting a divorcebefore they even, before the nurse even
(19:09):
rolled in the isolate with the baby.
So like the mood went from excitementand balloons in the air and flowers all
over to everything kind of being popped.
. Oh my goodness, the sun going down.
And it's like, oh my God.
She was born into a dysfunctional family,
(19:30):
. No, she was born into love.
Grandparents are figuring it out.
Grandparents are figuring out.
But your love.
For sure.
For sure.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
The parents never foughtover who was gonna get to see
her, who was gonna keep her.
It was like begging, can you justwatch her so I can take a class?
I'm still in college.
(19:50):
Please help me out.
So I remember that and it'schanged my whole demeanor.
I don't wanna be that generationthat passes down bitterness and
craziness to the next generation.
Oh, listeners and viewers.
I think we just got a freelesson, . We got a free lesson
(20:12):
That is not part of the 10 lessons.
Let's, let's take that lesson into heart.
Don't pass down that traumato the next generation.
No, there's no need for it.
No.
Oh, goodness gracious.
Lesson number five, do celebrate yourself.
Pat yourself on the back.
(20:33):
Create big picture plans orincentives to celebrate your life.
Now, I want your take on this because I'ma believer in this as well, but, uh, you
know, I'm, I'm, I'm a tadpole practicingthis, and you are experienced, and you
are, have practiced this for a while.
Tell me, does it work?
(20:53):
Does it get better?
Tell me.
It gets better if you can takethe guilt and put it in a box and
tape it up with, uh, packing tapeand then lock it in a drawer and
then forget where you put the key.
when I first started doing that,making me feel good and stopped
taking care of others first, Ifelt guilty in the beginning.
(21:18):
Like, how can I deserve,you know, ordering.
, a couple of new pieces online thatwere marked down by 75% when I could
have done this for this person, or Icould have done that for that person.
Um, but then I, I felt so specialbecause I was treating me.
So I just wanna say this, no one elsebuys me fresh flowers every week.
(21:43):
I buy them for myself.
And I have, I'll be married56 years, um, in December.
My husband has multiple healthissues and memory issues, so
he's not gonna remember that.
You know, last year was our 55thanniversary and that was special for
me, but I remembered and I boughtmyself, uh, an anniversary ring.
(22:06):
This year I took on a hard project, aproject that I needed a whole team to
help finish because it was so difficultand it just happened, uh, last month.
But I made up my mind if I took itbecause it was blood, sweat, and tears
kind of a project drove me crazy.
But it got submitted, um, that I was gonnatreat myself to something for all the
(22:28):
stress and anxiety, late nights, earlymornings, middle of the night calls,
you name it, from the project team.
And I went out and I bought anotherring to fit under my anniversary ring.
And the first ring I bought, . I went inwith the Kmart blue light special mindset.
I said to the jeweler, I wantthe cheapest plane band you have
(22:49):
. And he gave me that and it was cheap.
And I, and I mean really cheap, I probablycould have gotten it out of a bubble gum
machine or something, . And I came homeand I put it on, on under my anniversary
ring and I kept looking at it and I wasso disappointed in me, in me for settling.
So I promised to wear it fortwo days to see if I loved it.
(23:13):
After two days and after thesecond day, it was troubling.
I didn't even want it on my finger.
And I thought, what can I do?
So I got the receipt and I went backand I walked in the store and I said,
I was here two days ago and I boughtbased on price, but I'm better than that.
and I wanna see something thatmakes me feel like a princess.
(23:36):
And I'm not worried about the pricebecause God will send me another
project soon and I'll take care of it.
And so they went right to the cabinetand they said, and and he said,
this is the one you tried on beforethat you loved, but when I told you
the price, you asked if there wasa chair nearby cuz you felt faint.
He said and now you're taking it?
(24:01):
And I said, I'm taking it.
I'm taking it.
And I promise I won'tbe back to trade it in
. Oh, another lesson.
Another lesson within a lesson,which is you get to a certain point
in your life if you plan your liferight, and you put yourself first.
Put your mask on yourselfbefore you save others.
(24:23):
And if you manage your finances theway you're supposed to, then you, are
allowed every once in a while to say,I don't have to buy based on price.
I wanna be treated like a princessor a prince, or a king or a queen.
I treat myself every week.
Not with that kind of money.
It could be very little, um, you know,like a $12 wallet on sale or something.
(24:48):
But I get a treat because it'slike, I'm be 74 this year.
Who else is gonna give me treats?
Nobody.
Okay.
So if I didn't already know you,I would've said, you know, you're
giving us some good lessons.
You ain't got to lie about your age, butI do know you and I know you're not lying.
But it, I think, I think part ofthat, youth that you keep, right?
(25:13):
I think we have to take pride in ourage, especially as you start to, well,
I think all the time, but as you startto get older, cause I've said this to
like new female friends and, and they'llsay, well, why are you still working
Seven days a week, and I saidone, um, because I have to
support myself and my husband.
Two, I never worked anywhereand earned a pension.
(25:34):
I've always been anentrepreneur for decades.
And if you, if you just make enoughto pay the bills, this is what you do.
You work until your last breath, butyou do what you love and you do it well.
And the universe will make sure thatyou're taken care of at the right time.
Oh, I, so we have to stop for a momentand unpack this because you hear that
(25:57):
old adage all the time, do what you love.
You never work a day in your life.
That's a lie.
That's a lie.
It's work.
It is always work.
Right.
But the way you said it,you work seven days a week.
You probably work till the day you die.
Yeah.
But you love what you do.
I do.
Right?
I do.
Right.
And that's what it's all about.
(26:18):
I get excited.
Creativity, innovation.
Um, I'm definitely fromthe school of Walt Disney.
I attended the, uh, Disney Institutein Anaheim and I've been three times.
And each time they remind youof the child inside of you and,
and it, it just makes you laugh.
It makes you smile, it makesyou appreciate silliness.
(26:43):
And it's okay to cry.
It's okay to laugh.
It's okay to do all of those things.
We have too many rules that tryto put us in these little boxes.
And you know, honestly, as a cultureand an ethnicity, we left those boxes
behind us, but other people kepttrying to put us in those boxes.
Well, our job is to push out thewalls, knock off the top, kick off the
(27:08):
bottom, and just do what we wanna do.
.That is truly our job.
And, and again, talking about passingdown that trauma, that's what we should
be teaching our next generations.
Harriet Tubman kickeddown one side of the box.
Martin Luther King kicked downthe other side of the box.
you know, Oprah kicked downanother side of the box.
(27:30):
Okay.
What side are you gonna kick down?
What side is the nextgeneration gonna kick down?
Right.
Absolutely.
We live in a, our ancestorspaved the way kind of history.
, but nobody's talking aboutwhat our next generation should
be doing to pave the way.
Well, they should bedoing more than TikTok
(27:53):
I absolutely agree.
Yes.
I absolutely agree Dr.
Bev, I feel like social media isunfortunately for some communities,
some marginalized communities.
The next, basketball star, rockstarsinger kind of, idolation, right?
Where back in my day, it waslike, I'm not gonna be rich.
(28:14):
I'm not gonna be able todo anything with my life.
I won't have fulfillment becauseI, I'm not gonna be the next,
Whitney Houston, you know?
Mm-hmm.
or something like that, right?
It was always nobody, nobody ever said.
Now they're saying it, which I'm soglad, but nobody ever said, um, uh, I'm
not gonna be the next deGrasse Tyson.
Right?
I , I'm not gonna be the next scientist.
It was always, I'm not gonnabe the next James Baldwin.
(28:35):
It was always, I'm not gonnabe the next Michael Jordan.
I'm not gonna be the next Whitney Houston.
So why try?
Right?
Yeah.
Flip that mindset.
Flip that mindset cuz we're morethan just sports entertainers
and singers and rappers.
And it has to come from within too.
Yeah.
I can't be going to, you know, theseself-help talks and all of this other
stuff, it has to come from within you.
(28:58):
And I think the only way that happens isthrough your spiritual whispering that
comes into your mind to give you ideas,to create, to innovate, to break away
from the pack, to do something different.
To dare to stand on the age of the cliffwithout a parachute and take a jump into
entrepreneurship or whatever you wanna be.
(29:20):
Whatever you wanna be.
Yeah.
We do interview a lot of entrepreneursand business leaders and authors on this
show, but viewers and listeners, it'sabout you figuring out what brings you
joy and what you can become better at.
Not necessarily what you're good at.
Because a lot of people, when theystart out, they're not good at the thing
(29:42):
that they end up loving to do in life.
They have to practice.
Right?
So you, you can get there and begood, but it doesn't matter if you
work a nine to five or if you startyour own business, or if you become
a novelist or if you become a dancer.
I'd like to take a short break tothank our affiliate partner Audible.
(30:02):
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(30:23):
Once again, that'saudibletrial.com/10lessonslearned all
lower case for a free 30 day trial.
The link will be in the show notes.
Let's welcome back Dr.
Bev and continue with lesson number six.
Lesson number six.
Don't beat yourself up over mistakes.
(30:44):
Move on with lessons learned.
Now that's kind of apropo for theshow , but uh, tell us about that, Dr.
Bev.
I made a lot of mistakes, with clientwork in the past, and I've recognized
that, and I've talked about it.
I actually called up and said things like,you know, did you know you paid me twice?
(31:06):
We made a mistake on thisapplication, but hey, you got funded.
That's the bright side of it.
Um, but they were still unhappy, sothey got a refund because the mistake.
But it was, it was a great,it was a play on a word.
Um, it was writing for a bunch of teacherswho were tired and, and drained and needed
paid time in the summer to be creative andcome up with new ideas for their teaching
(31:30):
plans or lesson plans in the fall.
So this was way back.
I, I was working on a T r S 80computer, um, probably if you were
born after 1970, you never heard of it?
Maybe 1980.
Um, but it was one of the firstcomputers out with a plain blue screen,
and it didn't really have the kind ofspell check and editing we have today.
(31:53):
However, I typed the word sabbatical.
at least 22 times in there,because it was the project name
we were asking for funding to, youknow, put them on a sabbatical.
However, it was typedsabbitical, nobody caught it.
Even the client who went over thedraft review did not catch it.
(32:13):
It was a State Department ofEducation grant application, and
it was submitted, and so we didn't,none of us knew we made a mistake
until we got a letter from the statesuperintendent saying, congratulations
to the x, Y, Z school district onsubmitting a highly successful project.
(32:35):
The blank blank blank Schooldress District SABBITICAL.
Project and they never, they just thoughtwe called it that because the teachers
were so bitter from being overworked
. Oh, that's a good marketing spin.
Dr.
Bev.
Oh my goodness.
Okay.
But the district was,
oh, livid , because then they wentback and looked at the doc and
(32:57):
they said, you did this 22 times.
How is that possible?
You know, we're paying you.
How could you make this mistake?
We want a refund.
And it's like, Hey,you're getting $250,000.
We want a refund.
And it's like, No problem, no problem.
I'll give you a refund.
so those were the days when in order tomaintain a business and to keep goodwill
(33:20):
and to not have one superintendenttell 300 other superintendents,
yeah, I don't work with her.
She really messed us up with the stateEd grant and now the superintendent
of the entire state thinks thatwe have bitter teachers here.
Which he did have bitterteachers cause I talked to them.
So I guess I learned that you just takeit with, with light and you don't downplay
(33:47):
yourself or hate yourself or, you know,stand in the mirror and beat on your brow.
We're all human.
We're gonna make mistakes.
We're not perfect.
And if anybody can't accept that,then maybe that's not the right
client for me to begin with.
Oh, truer words have neverbeen said once again.
(34:07):
and in my own consultingpractice, I have come across
times where I've had to eat crow.
I've had to say, you know what?
I messed this up.
And, what would you like tosee for it to be made right?
And I think it starts with justauthenticity of owning the mistake
(34:27):
and being fully transparent.
So many times we're so afraidof the ramifications that we
run or we lie or we cover.
Yes.
Yes.
And that causes more harm than good.
Not just for the relationship,but in your own psyche.
Because I feel like if you've run awayfrom something, if you've run away from
a mistake and you haven't fessed upto it in the mirror or to the person,
(34:51):
you're always subconsciously running.
Lesson number seven.
Don't isolate yourself when you aregoing through hard or trying times.
Oh my goodness.
Let's get into this one because itis, um, I think it's almost a natural
tendency for people who quote unquotethink they have strong personalities.
(35:13):
I'm too strong for this.
I don't need anybody.
Nobody can see my weakness.
Dr.
Beth, tell me how you cameto know this to be true.
by keeping things in to myself for toolong and becoming angry and going to
anger management counseling for two years.
Well stop one moment.
You're not telling me that my sweet Dr.
(35:34):
Bev had to actually go to anger managementclass are you saying this right now?
Lady I'm a Scorpio , smilingon the outside and planning
the demise on the inside.
Oh my goodness.
(35:55):
Oh my goodness.
That is, that's amazing.
Okay, continue.
Dr.
Bev, I apologize.
There are two sides to me, . I see.
And I have to get controlover the angry side.
I see, I see.
Well, good job.
Good job.
Well done.
. Yeah, I went to Christian counseling for two years to understand how
(36:19):
not to be angry and to, um, here'swhat I left with peace and joy.
The only way to put out the fires ofanger is to focus on what brings you
peace and joy and do those things.
And if you have to do somethingout of, love or whatever, that's
(36:40):
not bringing you peace and joy.
Remember, it's only a moment in time.
Oh, agreed.
Agreed.
All right, lesson number eight.
And this is short and sweet, but powerful.
Lesson number eight.
Don't give up.
Ever.
(37:01):
Take it away, Dr.
Bev.
There's always going to be naysayers thattell you all the things you can't do, all
the places you can't go, all the things.
You can't have all the neighborhoods andcommunities and houses you can't live in.
Because you're just thislittle bitty person and you
can't move the powers that be.
(37:23):
Well, you know what?
We don't have to move anything.
All we have to do is putit to prayer, speak it.
and it happens.
It happens even if we don't speak it.
There are times when I want something andI have no idea how I'm going to get it.
I write it down on an index card and Ijust open the Bible any place and put
(37:44):
that index card in there and close it.
I never even remember how many cardsI have in there at any given time, but
I do know that at the end of the year,typically, um, we don't go out or anything
on New Year's Eve or New Year's Day.
So I open that Bible up after a wholeyear of putting index cards in there and I
start looking at them and I see everythinghas come to being, it's come to fruition.
(38:09):
The thoughts have turned intoreal actions without me even
realizing this was what I asked for.
This was what I needed help in.
This is where I wanted to be.
I used to complain because when I wasworking differently, I don't travel
now, I, I do everything virtually, butwhen I was working differently, I used
to be on a plane 35, 40 times a year,and I used to hate running through
(38:34):
airports, going all over the world and,and the country, United States, um,
training people, teaching people, allof that just to bring a check back home.
What I didn't know was that at acertain time in our marriage, my husband
wouldn't be able to travel anymorebecause of his health, and I would need
(38:55):
to become his caretaker to make surethat he's okay to do things for him.
So I don't leave him overnight.
Uh, and I have a hard time ifI have to go out for a day.
But just think all the timesthat I regretted getting on
those planes, trains, and buses.
I saw states, I saw ruralareas, I saw urban areas.
(39:16):
I met hundreds of peopleat every location.
I made friends, I madeextended family members.
I got to go across the ocean and,and work in Africa and see that, you
know, I, I've been to Canada, I'vebeen to Mexico, I've been to The
Bahamas, all in the name of work.
(39:36):
Well, now we can't travel.
So what would've happened if I would'velived my life, like the average worker
thinking, well, let's just hunker down.
Let's save every penny.
Let's save every dollar.
Let's stay in the old neighborhood.
Let's just live in this house.
Even though we've gotta have burglarbars on every window and door, let's just
make sure we have something paid for.
(39:57):
So when we retire, oh, I can go toHawaii or we can go to here or there.
Okay.
You don't know what's ahead andeverything that's happening in your
life is the part of God's plan.
And while you are grumbling andcomplaining about airline seats and
people coughing and sneezing withoutcovering their mouth, you are seeing
(40:21):
things that you might not have achance to see later because you don't
know what the circumstances will be.
So instead of grumbling, takeevery task as a privilege.
Accept it with grace, learn from it.
Expand your territory.
Do everything you can to beoutside of your comfort zone
(40:43):
because that's when you grow.
And, and I just had the biggestepiphany, because I was, when you
were talking about this, I was goingback to the former lesson, which is,
you know, tomorrow is not a promise.
And it just occurred to me thatI think in our lives, when we
hear tomorrow is not promised.
(41:03):
We think of it in terms oflife and death mortality.
I do what you can today becauseyou might not be here in tomorrow.
You might not be here in in 40 years,but I think it's more than that.
I think it's enjoy the life that you haveright now because you may not be able
to have that same kind of life tomorrow.
(41:27):
Doesn't mean that you're gone.
It just means that what youthought tomorrow would look
like, may not look like that.
So enjoy it today.
I have no regrets.
I have no regrets over notbeing able to travel now.
I have no regrets over not workingin, in person and training.
This is a blessing to be able to stayhome, to stay outta harm's way, not
(41:51):
just because of the, you know, loomingpandemic one right after another.
But because I took vows, I tookmarriage vows, and it's for sickness
and in health for better or worse.
And now this is the worstpart, this is the health part.
So I'm supposed to be hereand that's where I'm planted.
(42:11):
And, and I'm happy about it.
Ugh.
All right.
I'm listeners and viewers.
I'm sorry.
It it, I'm blown away.
This is why I am, I'mstumbling over my words.
Uh, I, I am, I really am.
And I don't know if, uh, Robert is gonnacut this part out or not, but I am.
(42:35):
It's very rare that I get tongue tied.
You know, it's 30 yearsof sales in retail.
I can talk to just aboutthe best of them, but Dr.
Bev, your, your life is aninspiration, an absolute inspiration.
Your belief in your philosophy andthe way I see you still approach
life as a kid in a candy store.
(42:56):
I see that.
it just,
Hey, thanks to Walt Disney Institute.
Oh, I'm gonna have to go to the institute.
I'm telling you that.
All right, lesson numbernine and this is 100% Dr.
Bev.
Don't let your mind get stagnant.
That's 100%.
(43:17):
You, your mind is not gonna get stagnant.
I would say anytime soon at all.
You are constantly learning,constantly teaching.
Talk to us about that.
I found out that I'm a creator.
, and I find I have the most joy increating the ideas that come down into me.
(43:39):
Not that I think up on my own or lookon the internet or copy off of somebody
else, but they just come into me,these titles, and I know right away
I'm gonna have to do an outline andI'm gonna have to create curriculum.
I'm gonna have to get this to my marketingteam, and we're gonna have to push it out.
And this is gonna be another live classbecause I'm supposed to teach this.
(44:00):
And what do I teach?
It'll come into me right beforeI have to create the PowerPoint
and the re and the resource files.
So I live my life like that.
I just, and I wake up during the night,sometimes ideas are flooding into my
mind and it's like, I've gotta get up.
I've gotta come to my home office.
I have to write this down.
What does this mean?
What kind of a class could this be?
(44:22):
I've been given the title,now I have to do the rest.
What does the rest look like?
I love it.
And we're up to our final lesson, andI kind of don't want this to end, but
I'm not gonna hold you video hostage
. Lesson number 10, don't let your health decline.
(44:42):
And we've talked about theramifications of growing older and
health, uh, throughout the episode,but, uh, give us some, some words
of, of wisdom and advice on that Dr.
Bev.
Over the years rushing around thecountry and the world, uh, jumping
in and out of other people's vehiclesand super shuttle vans and everything
(45:03):
else, I've taken my share of falls,tripping, being tired, trying to
drag luggage early in the morning.
4:00 AM gotta get to theairport for a 6:00 AM flight.
I've fallen and I've ignored.
Even following up to see if anything wasfractured, if anything is outta place.
(45:23):
All of the above.
Well.
. Now I have a lot of specialistsand I get shots in my knees.
So I think back of all the times, if Icould have just stopped when the plane
landed and come home and put my suitcaseaside and called a doctor or gone to
urgent care, or gone to the emergencyroom to get some x-rays, I would've known
(45:47):
then that those falls were the beginningof osteoarthritis and likely would've
been able to do something preventative.
But once you have it, you live withthe pain, you live with the pain
of the cortisone injections, thegel injections, when you no longer
have fluid, between the bones.
(46:07):
And I think about that.
I could have stopped, I could have takencare of my body when it was sending
me signals, moving too fast, movingwhile sleeping, all of that stuff.
But I didn't, I was just in a hurryto get on to the next, you know,
next destination, the next paycheck.
My older self is not like that.
Uh, if I wake up, I got put on a new,uh, blood pressure medication a few
(46:29):
weeks ago, and the first night I wokeup with these strange pains behind
my right eye, right then and there Iam sending a message to my primary.
I am having strange pains behind my eye.
I think this is a side effect.
I'm not taking this medication.
You need to come up withsomething in a hurry.
I never would've done that 10 years ago.
(46:50):
I would've just pushed it offand said, oh, it's headache.
I'll take a Tylenol and keep going.
and I think also too, listeners andviewers, that that is another unfortunate,
side effect, if you will, of beingan, an entrepreneur or a solopreneur.
I mean, it's all on you.
Go, go, go, go, go.
And you know, I can't stopfor this little tummy ache.
(47:12):
I can't stop for this tickle in my throat.
I can't stop for this migrainethat comes every once in a while.
Stop.
Stop.
Because if something is wrong andyou can be proactive about it,
again, you can't go back in time.
No, you can't change whatyou didn't take care of.
(47:32):
Mm-hmm.
can't change with another free lesson.
Dr.
Beth.
Stop giving them away
. I love it.
I love it.
All right.
Well, we are done with your lessons,and I tell you what, this, this
has been a, an amazing episode, butI've got one more question for you.
Okay.
(47:52):
What have you had to unlearn?
Self-criticism, hearingother people's voices.
Negative, um, words in mymind, like stupid, dumb.
You don't know anything.
You can't do anything.
You're never gonna be anything.
(48:14):
Um, I've had to unlearn that thosevoices are just tricks that are still
in my brain because I believed whatpeople said when they said that I would
never be anybody, never do anything.
All of those things.
You'll never be a writer.
You know, you belong in remedialEnglish and community college and
(48:36):
that's what you're gonna take.
And I was insulted, I criedto be in a remedial class.
Uh, it was horrible.
But it's okay cuz if those people werestill alive today, and I don't know
if they are cuz they were much olderat the time they taught me in college,
I wish they could see how their wordsaffect the people that they talk to.
(48:59):
And it takes a very strong personto throw those words over their
shoulder and just move forward.
they have an expression, sometimes itonly takes one person to believe in you.
That expression is, is very powerful.
But it's sometimes hurtful when youknow for a fact that there really is
(49:19):
only one person that believes in you.
. Like, it's not just you have one person.
Right.
Right.
It but, but it's sad because a lot of us,when I say us, I mean marginalized groups.
We're we, we are lucky if weare given that one person.
Mm-hmm.
lucky.
So, Dr.
(49:40):
Bev, this has been lifechanging for me, but I knew it
would be, I knew it would be.
Thank you.
And, let us know whatprojects are you working on.
Where can we find you?
What are you doing?
You can find me onLinkedIn under my profile.
That's the best way to reach out to me.
I'm trying to build my connectionsso I get more perks from LinkedIn.
(50:01):
I'm almost at 20,000 and I love it.
Um, my marketing team works on itfive days a week, building the,
connections in the non-profit world, thefoundation world, the government world.
So the best way toreach me is on LinkedIn.
Um, you can also look at mywebsite, bev browning.com.
Definitely encourage you to figure outwhat you wanna be because just because
(50:25):
somebody else planned your career for you,it doesn't mean it's the one you love.
You can always change over.
You can always do what you wanna do.
That's the spirit and the essenceof living someplace where our,
our destiny is not dictated to us.
We might be nudged one way or theother, but we still have free choice.
(50:48):
So powerful.
I wanna thank my guest, Dr.
Beverly Browning, for sharingher lessons with us today.
Thank you so much.
It's an honor to be on the show.
Thank you for theinvitation and reaching out.
Oh, I, you're stuck with me, Dr.
Bev, uh, . I'm gonna, I'm gonnabe reaching out more often.
(51:10):
Let me, let me exit out here.
You've been listeningto 10 Lessons Learned.
This episode is produced by RobertHossary, supported as always by
the Professional Development Forum.
Please tell us what youthink of today's lessons.
You can email us atpodcast@10lessonslearned.com.
That's podcast at the number10 10 lessons learned.com.
(51:32):
Go ahead and hit that like buttonsubscribe and turn on the notification
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Lesson by lesson.
Thank you everyone.
Be safe out there.
hello and welcome to 10 Lessons Learned,where we talk to leaders and luminaries
from all over the world to dispense wisdomfor career, business, and life in order
to make the world wiser lesson by lesson.
My name is Diana White and I'myour host for this episode.
Our guest today is Dr.
Beverly Browning.
Dr.
(00:28):
Beverly A.
Browning, a k, a, Dr.
Bev, the grant doctor is a nonprofitcapacity building consultant and
revenue generating visionary.
Dr.
Bev and her team have helpedher clients win over 750
million dollars in grant awards.
She has been researching grantfunding, grant making trends, and
(00:49):
board related barriers to nonprofitcapacity building for over 47 years.
Dr.
Bev is the founder and directorof the Grant Writing Training
Foundation and Bev Browning, LLC.
Dr.
Bev is the author of 47 grantwriting publications, including
seven editions of Grant Writing forDummies, the sixth edition of Nonprofit
(01:12):
Kit for Dummies, and the fourthedition of Fundraising for Dummies.
She has also created sixcourses for Cengage Learning.
Dr.
Bev lives her life withfaith and discernment.
Welcome, Dr.
Bev.
Thank you so much for theinvitation to be on the show.
I really appreciate it.
Oh, I, you know, you're, you're oneof the most humble human beings I
(01:35):
know, but this is an honor for me.
I can tell you that.
Thank you.
Well, I, I am, uh, I'm notgonna pull any punches.
I'm gonna get started right awaywith the first question, Dr.
Bev, what would you tellyour 30 year old self
?That they're going to be rough years ahead?
You're going to lose a son at birth.
(01:57):
You're going to experience a moveto another state, unknown at 30, but
you know, you're leaving Michigan andyou have to finish your education.
You cannot climb the career ladderor even plot out your own dream.
If that dream happens to be abusiness with an associate degree.
(02:19):
You have to have more.
You have to polish yourcritical thinking skills.
You have to understand theways of the corporate world.
The ways of the nonprofit world andthe powers that be, that hold onto
the money that you have to produce abusiness plan or some kind of a magic
appeal to, to try to get that startupmoney for anything you wanna do.
(02:43):
I would just say have patience.
It's gonna be a long road.
And babe, you ain't done yet.
I love it.
I love it.
you know, I, I have been askedthat question myself, what would
I tell my 30 year old self?
I think I would tell my 30year old self wait for Dr.
Bev to come and tell you.
What's your ? I love it.
(03:06):
I love it.
So I will tell you,listeners and viewers, Dr.
Bev's lessons are listed askind of dos and don'ts for life.
And I love the way they're worded.
and the first two are kind of,I wanna say they're mantras.
I would use these as mantras.
But I wanna give you, uh, an ideabecause it's not our traditional.
(03:27):
Format, but I love it.
So, lesson number one, doappreciate yourself, and the
mantra is, I am worthy of success.
Dr.
Beth, tell us how you cameto know that to be true
by working with clients.
back in the day before, I had guidelinesand boundaries by spending six years
(03:51):
in the corporate sector where all of myconfidence was flattened, to zero and.
giving notice, giving a two weeknotice with no idea where my next
dollar was gonna come from becauseI had a non-compete contract, which
meant that during the six years Iwas with this corporation building
(04:11):
a division of their company, I hadto put my business on the side.
I couldn't take any clients, Icouldn't do any grant writing,
um, needed permission for anypublications that I was gonna write.
And honestly, I lost so much of me inthat corporate hustle that when I gave
(04:32):
that two week notice, I had no plan.
No clue.
And I just sort of threw my handsup and I said, I'm gonna let all of
my colleagues in the grant writingworld know I need subcontract work.
I need help bringing dollars inthe door until I can figure out
how to relaunch what I was doingbefore this six year disruption.
(04:56):
So that really is, iswhere that comes from.
we've all been flattened bysomeone or something in our
lives, multiple times, many of us.
But it's about how we pick ourselvesup, how we move on, and how we move
on without anger, without the stress,without the guilt, but in the innocence
(05:20):
to just believe in ourself and, and havea spiritual belief that when you close
the door or a door is closed for you.
There is something magnificentwaiting for you ahead.
You just have to inhale, exhale, and wait.
(05:42):
truer words have never been spoken.
And I know this to be true becausein my life, I consider myself to
be a, professional, loyal puppy.
I get ensconced in an organizationand, I'm there for life.
It really has to take something prettyoff-putting to get me out, right, or to
(06:03):
make me think maybe I, I need to move on.
And I've come to learn to be gratefulto those circumstances when they
happen because, it's been my onlyguide to let me know that I need,
there's something better for me.
And so anytime I've had, um, situationswhere, the work environment is,
hasn't been the happiest it could be.
(06:24):
.And I know it's timefor me to make a move.
I will look back upon and think of,the leadership fondly very fondly
because, without that agitation,I wouldn't be at this next level.
That's right.
Lesson number two, do createa spiritual foundation.
Here's another mantra foryou, listeners and viewers.
(06:47):
I am a withering flower without faith.
I am a withering flower without faith.
Dr.
Beth, talk to us about that.
I would have to say that my faithjourney started as a child, but because
I was a child, I just thought it wasmy job to step up and be baptized.
I didn't understand whatweight that carried with it.
(07:10):
So after we were married and Imarried at 18, my husband was
21, we, we had hardly anything.
We decided to, to have our firstchild, because I was in community
college, we were struggling.
We'd just gotten our first house,it, had a lot of things wrong
with it, and we went into debt andI just said, you know, not now.
(07:32):
I need to get my associate's degree.
Well, um, after we went through thatlittle period of, you know, hustling and
working and trying to pay things off.
We were ready to have our firstchild and nothing happened.
We found out that we couldn't, wewent to all these specialists and
doctors and they said, you know,you're just gonna have to settle.
(07:53):
You're, you're not going to have children.
And these were the days beforethey grew lab babies, by the
way, way back in the day.
And so we, you know, did whatany young couple would do.
We're both working.
Uh, we got a motorcycle, we got a boatand took it out, you know, on the lake.
And about that time, my mom, whodid not raise me, but we had a, a
(08:19):
good relationship, she said, I wannago to church, and there's a church
across the street from my house.
But it's a Catholic church,and in order to join it, you
have to take catechism classes.
And I said, well, mom, you should do that.
And she said, I, I'mafraid to do it alone.
(08:39):
And I said, so what does that mean?
And she says, I want you to go with me.
And I said, you want me to change frombeing Baptist to convert to Catholicism?
And she said, yeah, I really wannago, but I don't wanna go alone.
And she said, I want youto come here on Sunday.
And then we walk across thestreet together and we go.
(09:03):
And so I said yes.
And we took these classes.
I, they were forever, they were along time . Um, and then after we
took the classes, we were confirmedon Christmas Eve, of that year,
and I believe it was 1976 it was.
And we still had given upon having children and being
(09:25):
confirmed on Christmas Eve.
And then in January, my husband and Itook a trip to Toronto, Canada, because we
lived in Michigan, then Flint, Michigan.
That's where I was born.
And.
and I came back and Ihad some kind of a bug.
I was feeling sick, throwing up,coughing, blowing, you name it.
(09:46):
And I went to the doctor andhe gave me an antibiotic.
And when I got home and I had the pill inmy hand to take it, something said, stop.
You cannot take this medication.
And so I just flushed it down the toiletand it's like, what has come over me?
(10:08):
I'm gonna be sick forever.
So about six weeks later.
I went back to the doctor andI said, I still feel horrible.
I didn't take the medication.
Something told me to stop.
And he said, you need to haveanother script and I'm gonna put
you on Valium for this hysteria.
And I said, wait a minute, wait a minute.
(10:30):
And I said, we were told we could neverhave a baby, but something keeps saying
maybe you should do a blood test.
And so he said, to please your psychosis.
I will.
And of course, this was a male doctorand he took the test and I, I came home
and then I got this call and he said,I'm so grateful you flushed those pills
(10:53):
down the toilet and that you refusedto take, antipsychotic medication.
The last time you were in the office.
He said, you are pregnant.
Congratulations.
And I just associated that with.
giving my life to Christ in theCatholic Church, along with my mom.
And I'll never forget that.
(11:15):
I have chills.
I have chills.
and viewers and listeners, youknow, we love sending these lessons
to younger generations that arestill trying to find their ways.
So you don't have to go throughthe hardships that we went through.
And a lot of things over theyears have gotten better.
Right.
(11:35):
But one thing that is still true is thatyou have to be your own health advocate.
Yes.
Even if you don't know, even if you'reyou, you would say, well, they're
the ones that went to med school.
I'm gonna put it in their hands.
Ask questions if somethingdoesn't feel right.
Whatever you believe in if youbelieve in your own self, Your gut
(11:58):
instinct is telling you something.
If you're a spiritual person,God is telling you something.
Listen, listen to it and ask thequestion and be brave like Dr.
Bev.
Say, I'm not taking these meds,until I get further testing.
That is absolutely an amazing story.
I mean, if you're a spiritual person,you just, you see, you see how it
(12:21):
all aligns and how it makes senseand how you were being protected.
Okay.
Lesson number three, Dr.
Bev.
Here we go.
Do not be hard on yourselfwhen you make mistakes.
Mistakes, fuel, patience, and do-overs.
So where has this manifesteditself in your life?
Dr.
Bev.
Making mistakes all of my life.
(12:43):
Listening to other people tell me Icouldn't do things or, you know, how
would this look in the community?
Or people expect better of you?
Or why would you leave a good jobthat you could have worked on for 30
years and had a retirement, um, togo out and launch your own business?
(13:05):
Foolish, foolish woman.
Don't you think if it were possibleto make a living being a grant
writer, 40, you know, 40 hours aweek, that we all would've done it.
We are all veteranexperienced grant writers.
You're going to go broke,you're not gonna be successful.
And I was in a meeting of a group.
(13:25):
Genesee County group of grant writersin Flint, Michigan, they were all older
than me and they had been out therewriting grants as an employee forever.
And they said, don't you think if we coulddo this and actually switch over, that any
of us would be working for somebody else.
We'd have our own consulting business.
What makes you think peoplewill even wanna work with you?
(13:47):
I mean, you're just a no name.
Why would they do that?
And I quit that group that day, and Icame home and it's like, I'm doing this.
I love it.
It takes patience.
I didn't curse.
I wasn't angry.
I just said, this is my last meeting.
I can't come back.
(14:07):
I can't believe that you're discouragingme from trying something that none
of you have been brave enough to try.
That's right.
I mean, and it's one of the thingsthat I've learned for sure in,
in my mentorship of young women,especially young women of color.
It's like cheerlead for them.
Give them the power.
Let them know they can do it.
(14:28):
And then get out of their way.
Exactly.
Exactly.
There were no dreams in that group.
Yeah.
Well they had a dream 30 yearsof working nine to five and then
retire and live a cushy life.
Yeah.
You know, You and I both know that,that is a prevalent thing and it's
something that I've talked about onthe show, uh, quite frequently, which
(14:49):
is the dynamic of the African Americanfamily nucleus, where it's like, get
that government job, work 30 years,get your watch, get your pension,
and, you know, shut up, head down.
And I did not follow that route.
And, there was a lot of worry, not,not so much ridicule, they didn't
ridicule, but there was a lot of worry.
(15:09):
What's gonna happen to this girl?
How's she gonna make it, you know?
I'm not saying that my path waseasier, and I'm not saying that
it was the right thing to do.
What I'm saying is whereI am now, I'm happy.
And I don't think I would've gottenthere if I hadn't taken my own path.
(15:31):
Ditto.
All right, lesson number four.
do live your life fully yesterday.
Can't be replayed andtomorrow is not a promise.
Live for today.
And again, you grew up Baptist, you grewup, uh, you know, Pentecostal, whatever
(15:54):
it is, we, we all hear those words.
Tomorrow is not promise.
God doesn't promise tomorrow, but Ilove the way you put it here yesterday.
Can't be replayed andtomorrow is not a promise.
So live for today.
I love that.
Talk to me about that, Dr.
Beth.
Well, I made a lot of mistakes and Icarried a lot of guilt for decades.
(16:15):
Um, and it wasn't just my guilt, it wasguilt that I heard from other people.
Um, maybe my mom, my parents,not so much my grandparents.
They were very encouraging.
but.
The demeanor.
You're never gonna have anything,you know, getting married
at 18, when's the baby due?
(16:38):
Um, you know, hey, and oh, and I haveto tell you, when's the baby due?
So I kept saying, I'm not pregnant.
I'm not pregnant, I'm gettingmarried to get outta your house,
This is not, this is not shotgun.
It's an escape.
It's an escape.
It's a prison break.
(16:58):
Yeah.
So 12 years later, when I gavebirth to our daughter and my parents
came to the hospital and I said,how does this 12 year baby look
I love it.
I
love it.
Oh, and, and I don't, I don't know aboutyou, but you know, in my experience,
(17:18):
I had my daughter, young, I was 22.
And I wasn't married and my entirepregnancy was, you know, disaster
upon the family, shame upon thefamily, oh, what are you gonna do?
How are you gonna get ahead?
And then as soon as this littlebrown bundle of joy came, it was
(17:39):
like, get out of the way, girl.
Give me my grandbaby.
You know, get, gimme my baby.
Where's that baby?
You know?
And I, and I said to my mom at one point,just a little tongue in cheek, I said,
you know, all this love that you'repouring on this baby, which I, which
I am so grateful for I if you, if youwould've, if you would've sent a sliver
(17:59):
of that my way when I was pregnant, maybe.
I don't know, maybe I would've been alittle bit mentally stable, a little
bit happier in my, in my pregnancyand what I was going through.
Um, and it's always fascinating tosee how, when, when, uh, something
happens that the family doesn't agreewith, and especially if it's around
birth or, or a child that, you know,the, the, the mom to be is carrying
(18:25):
a lot of weight on their shoulders.
And then as soon as the baby comes,everybody forgets the things that they
said or the things that they thought,because this new life is bringing
joy into everybody's world, you know?
So we have some things in common,um, but we also have differences.
My parents never acted excitedwhen my daughter was born.
(18:49):
In fact, the day they came to thehospital to see her, they informed
me that after 31 years of marriagethey had filed for divorce.
Oh my goodness.
The first five minutes in the door inmy room on postpartum, they announced
that they were getting a divorcebefore they even, before the nurse even
(19:09):
rolled in the isolate with the baby.
So like the mood went from excitementand balloons in the air and flowers all
over to everything kind of being popped.
. Oh my goodness, the sun going down.
And it's like, oh my God.
She was born into a dysfunctional family,
(19:30):
. No, she was born into love.
Grandparents are figuring it out.
Grandparents are figuring out.
But your love.
For sure.
For sure.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
The parents never foughtover who was gonna get to see
her, who was gonna keep her.
It was like begging, can you justwatch her so I can take a class?
I'm still in college.
(19:50):
Please help me out.
So I remember that and it'schanged my whole demeanor.
I don't wanna be that generationthat passes down bitterness and
craziness to the next generation.
Oh, listeners and viewers.
I think we just got a freelesson, . We got a free lesson
(20:12):
That is not part of the 10 lessons.
Let's, let's take that lesson into heart.
Don't pass down that traumato the next generation.
No, there's no need for it.
No.
Oh, goodness gracious.
Lesson number five, do celebrate yourself.
Pat yourself on the back.
(20:33):
Create big picture plans orincentives to celebrate your life.
Now, I want your take on this because I'ma believer in this as well, but, uh, you
know, I'm, I'm, I'm a tadpole practicingthis, and you are experienced, and you
are, have practiced this for a while.
Tell me, does it work?
(20:53):
Does it get better?
Tell me.
It gets better if you can takethe guilt and put it in a box and
tape it up with, uh, packing tapeand then lock it in a drawer and
then forget where you put the key.
when I first started doing that,making me feel good and stopped
taking care of others first, Ifelt guilty in the beginning.
(21:18):
Like, how can I deserve,you know, ordering.
, a couple of new pieces online thatwere marked down by 75% when I could
have done this for this person, or Icould have done that for that person.
Um, but then I, I felt so specialbecause I was treating me.
So I just wanna say this, no one elsebuys me fresh flowers every week.
(21:43):
I buy them for myself.
And I have, I'll be married56 years, um, in December.
My husband has multiple healthissues and memory issues, so
he's not gonna remember that.
You know, last year was our 55thanniversary and that was special for
me, but I remembered and I boughtmyself, uh, an anniversary ring.
(22:06):
This year I took on a hard project, aproject that I needed a whole team to
help finish because it was so difficultand it just happened, uh, last month.
But I made up my mind if I took itbecause it was blood, sweat, and tears
kind of a project drove me crazy.
But it got submitted, um, that I was gonnatreat myself to something for all the
(22:28):
stress and anxiety, late nights, earlymornings, middle of the night calls,
you name it, from the project team.
And I went out and I bought anotherring to fit under my anniversary ring.
And the first ring I bought, . I went inwith the Kmart blue light special mindset.
I said to the jeweler, I wantthe cheapest plane band you have
(22:49):
. And he gave me that and it was cheap.
And I, and I mean really cheap, I probablycould have gotten it out of a bubble gum
machine or something, . And I came homeand I put it on, on under my anniversary
ring and I kept looking at it and I wasso disappointed in me, in me for settling.
So I promised to wear it fortwo days to see if I loved it.
(23:13):
After two days and after thesecond day, it was troubling.
I didn't even want it on my finger.
And I thought, what can I do?
So I got the receipt and I went backand I walked in the store and I said,
I was here two days ago and I boughtbased on price, but I'm better than that.
and I wanna see something thatmakes me feel like a princess.
(23:36):
And I'm not worried about the pricebecause God will send me another
project soon and I'll take care of it.
And so they went right to the cabinetand they said, and and he said,
this is the one you tried on beforethat you loved, but when I told you
the price, you asked if there wasa chair nearby cuz you felt faint.
He said and now you're taking it?
(24:01):
And I said, I'm taking it.
I'm taking it.
And I promise I won'tbe back to trade it in
. Oh, another lesson.
Another lesson within a lesson,which is you get to a certain point
in your life if you plan your liferight, and you put yourself first.
Put your mask on yourselfbefore you save others.
(24:23):
And if you manage your finances theway you're supposed to, then you, are
allowed every once in a while to say,I don't have to buy based on price.
I wanna be treated like a princessor a prince, or a king or a queen.
I treat myself every week.
Not with that kind of money.
It could be very little, um, you know,like a $12 wallet on sale or something.
(24:48):
But I get a treat because it'slike, I'm be 74 this year.
Who else is gonna give me treats?
Nobody.
Okay.
So if I didn't already know you,I would've said, you know, you're
giving us some good lessons.
You ain't got to lie about your age, butI do know you and I know you're not lying.
But it, I think, I think part ofthat, youth that you keep, right?
(25:13):
I think we have to take pride in ourage, especially as you start to, well,
I think all the time, but as you startto get older, cause I've said this to
like new female friends and, and they'llsay, well, why are you still working
Seven days a week, and I saidone, um, because I have to
support myself and my husband.
Two, I never worked anywhereand earned a pension.
(25:34):
I've always been anentrepreneur for decades.
And if you, if you just make enoughto pay the bills, this is what you do.
You work until your last breath, butyou do what you love and you do it well.
And the universe will make sure thatyou're taken care of at the right time.
Oh, I, so we have to stop for a momentand unpack this because you hear that
(25:57):
old adage all the time, do what you love.
You never work a day in your life.
That's a lie.
That's a lie.
It's work.
It is always work.
Right.
But the way you said it,you work seven days a week.
You probably work till the day you die.
Yeah.
But you love what you do.
I do.
Right?
I do.
Right.
And that's what it's all about.
(26:18):
I get excited.
Creativity, innovation.
Um, I'm definitely fromthe school of Walt Disney.
I attended the, uh, Disney Institutein Anaheim and I've been three times.
And each time they remind youof the child inside of you and,
and it, it just makes you laugh.
It makes you smile, it makesyou appreciate silliness.
(26:43):
And it's okay to cry.
It's okay to laugh.
It's okay to do all of those things.
We have too many rules that tryto put us in these little boxes.
And you know, honestly, as a cultureand an ethnicity, we left those boxes
behind us, but other people kepttrying to put us in those boxes.
Well, our job is to push out thewalls, knock off the top, kick off the
(27:08):
bottom, and just do what we wanna do.
.That is truly our job.
And, and again, talking about passingdown that trauma, that's what we should
be teaching our next generations.
Harriet Tubman kickeddown one side of the box.
Martin Luther King kicked downthe other side of the box.
you know, Oprah kicked downanother side of the box.
(27:30):
Okay.
What side are you gonna kick down?
What side is the nextgeneration gonna kick down?
Right.
Absolutely.
We live in a, our ancestorspaved the way kind of history.
, but nobody's talking aboutwhat our next generation should
be doing to pave the way.
Well, they should bedoing more than TikTok
(27:53):
I absolutely agree.
Yes.
I absolutely agree Dr.
Bev, I feel like social media isunfortunately for some communities,
some marginalized communities.
The next, basketball star, rockstarsinger kind of, idolation, right?
Where back in my day, it waslike, I'm not gonna be rich.
(28:14):
I'm not gonna be able todo anything with my life.
I won't have fulfillment becauseI, I'm not gonna be the next,
Whitney Houston, you know?
Mm-hmm.
or something like that, right?
It was always nobody, nobody ever said.
Now they're saying it, which I'm soglad, but nobody ever said, um, uh, I'm
not gonna be the next deGrasse Tyson.
Right?
I , I'm not gonna be the next scientist.
It was always, I'm not gonnabe the next James Baldwin.
(28:35):
It was always, I'm not gonnabe the next Michael Jordan.
I'm not gonna be the next Whitney Houston.
So why try?
Right?
Yeah.
Flip that mindset.
Flip that mindset cuz we're morethan just sports entertainers
and singers and rappers.
And it has to come from within too.
Yeah.
I can't be going to, you know, theseself-help talks and all of this other
stuff, it has to come from within you.
(28:58):
And I think the only way that happens isthrough your spiritual whispering that
comes into your mind to give you ideas,to create, to innovate, to break away
from the pack, to do something different.
To dare to stand on the age of the cliffwithout a parachute and take a jump into
entrepreneurship or whatever you wanna be.
(29:20):
Whatever you wanna be.
Yeah.
We do interview a lot of entrepreneursand business leaders and authors on this
show, but viewers and listeners, it'sabout you figuring out what brings you
joy and what you can become better at.
Not necessarily what you're good at.
Because a lot of people, when theystart out, they're not good at the thing
(29:42):
that they end up loving to do in life.
They have to practice.
Right?
So you, you can get there and begood, but it doesn't matter if you
work a nine to five or if you startyour own business, or if you become
a novelist or if you become a dancer.
I'd like to take a short break tothank our affiliate partner Audible.
(30:02):
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You can start your 30 dayfree trial by going to
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(30:23):
Once again, that'saudibletrial.com/10lessonslearned all
lower case for a free 30 day trial.
The link will be in the show notes.
Let's welcome back Dr.
Bev and continue with lesson number six.
Lesson number six.
Don't beat yourself up over mistakes.
(30:44):
Move on with lessons learned.
Now that's kind of apropo for theshow , but uh, tell us about that, Dr.
Bev.
I made a lot of mistakes, with clientwork in the past, and I've recognized
that, and I've talked about it.
I actually called up and said things like,you know, did you know you paid me twice?
(31:06):
We made a mistake on thisapplication, but hey, you got funded.
That's the bright side of it.
Um, but they were still unhappy, sothey got a refund because the mistake.
But it was, it was a great,it was a play on a word.
Um, it was writing for a bunch of teacherswho were tired and, and drained and needed
paid time in the summer to be creative andcome up with new ideas for their teaching
(31:30):
plans or lesson plans in the fall.
So this was way back.
I, I was working on a T r S 80computer, um, probably if you were
born after 1970, you never heard of it?
Maybe 1980.
Um, but it was one of the firstcomputers out with a plain blue screen,
and it didn't really have the kind ofspell check and editing we have today.
(31:53):
However, I typed the word sabbatical.
at least 22 times in there,because it was the project name
we were asking for funding to, youknow, put them on a sabbatical.
However, it was typedsabbitical, nobody caught it.
Even the client who went over thedraft review did not catch it.
(32:13):
It was a State Department ofEducation grant application, and
it was submitted, and so we didn't,none of us knew we made a mistake
until we got a letter from the statesuperintendent saying, congratulations
to the x, Y, Z school district onsubmitting a highly successful project.
(32:35):
The blank blank blank Schooldress District SABBITICAL.
Project and they never, they just thoughtwe called it that because the teachers
were so bitter from being overworked
. Oh, that's a good marketing spin.
Dr.
Bev.
Oh my goodness.
Okay.
But the district was,
oh, livid , because then they wentback and looked at the doc and
(32:57):
they said, you did this 22 times.
How is that possible?
You know, we're paying you.
How could you make this mistake?
We want a refund.
And it's like, Hey,you're getting $250,000.
We want a refund.
And it's like, No problem, no problem.
I'll give you a refund.
so those were the days when in order tomaintain a business and to keep goodwill
(33:20):
and to not have one superintendenttell 300 other superintendents,
yeah, I don't work with her.
She really messed us up with the stateEd grant and now the superintendent
of the entire state thinks thatwe have bitter teachers here.
Which he did have bitterteachers cause I talked to them.
So I guess I learned that you just takeit with, with light and you don't downplay
(33:47):
yourself or hate yourself or, you know,stand in the mirror and beat on your brow.
We're all human.
We're gonna make mistakes.
We're not perfect.
And if anybody can't accept that,then maybe that's not the right
client for me to begin with.
Oh, truer words have neverbeen said once again.
(34:07):
and in my own consultingpractice, I have come across
times where I've had to eat crow.
I've had to say, you know what?
I messed this up.
And, what would you like tosee for it to be made right?
And I think it starts with justauthenticity of owning the mistake
(34:27):
and being fully transparent.
So many times we're so afraidof the ramifications that we
run or we lie or we cover.
Yes.
Yes.
And that causes more harm than good.
Not just for the relationship,but in your own psyche.
Because I feel like if you've run awayfrom something, if you've run away from
a mistake and you haven't fessed upto it in the mirror or to the person,
(34:51):
you're always subconsciously running.
Lesson number seven.
Don't isolate yourself when you aregoing through hard or trying times.
Oh my goodness.
Let's get into this one because itis, um, I think it's almost a natural
tendency for people who quote unquotethink they have strong personalities.
(35:13):
I'm too strong for this.
I don't need anybody.
Nobody can see my weakness.
Dr.
Beth, tell me how you cameto know this to be true.
by keeping things in to myself for toolong and becoming angry and going to
anger management counseling for two years.
Well stop one moment.
You're not telling me that my sweet Dr.
(35:34):
Bev had to actually go to anger managementclass are you saying this right now?
Lady I'm a Scorpio , smilingon the outside and planning
the demise on the inside.
Oh my goodness.
(35:55):
Oh my goodness.
That is, that's amazing.
Okay, continue.
Dr.
Bev, I apologize.
There are two sides to me, . I see.
And I have to get controlover the angry side.
I see, I see.
Well, good job.
Good job.
Well done.
. Yeah, I went to Christian counseling for two years to understand how
(36:19):
not to be angry and to, um, here'swhat I left with peace and joy.
The only way to put out the fires ofanger is to focus on what brings you
peace and joy and do those things.
And if you have to do somethingout of, love or whatever, that's
(36:40):
not bringing you peace and joy.
Remember, it's only a moment in time.
Oh, agreed.
Agreed.
All right, lesson number eight.
And this is short and sweet, but powerful.
Lesson number eight.
Don't give up.
Ever.
(37:01):
Take it away, Dr.
Bev.
There's always going to be naysayers thattell you all the things you can't do, all
the places you can't go, all the things.
You can't have all the neighborhoods andcommunities and houses you can't live in.
Because you're just thislittle bitty person and you
can't move the powers that be.
(37:23):
Well, you know what?
We don't have to move anything.
All we have to do is putit to prayer, speak it.
and it happens.
It happens even if we don't speak it.
There are times when I want something andI have no idea how I'm going to get it.
I write it down on an index card and Ijust open the Bible any place and put
(37:44):
that index card in there and close it.
I never even remember how many cardsI have in there at any given time, but
I do know that at the end of the year,typically, um, we don't go out or anything
on New Year's Eve or New Year's Day.
So I open that Bible up after a wholeyear of putting index cards in there and I
start looking at them and I see everythinghas come to being, it's come to fruition.
(38:09):
The thoughts have turned intoreal actions without me even
realizing this was what I asked for.
This was what I needed help in.
This is where I wanted to be.
I used to complain because when I wasworking differently, I don't travel
now, I, I do everything virtually, butwhen I was working differently, I used
to be on a plane 35, 40 times a year,and I used to hate running through
(38:34):
airports, going all over the world and,and the country, United States, um,
training people, teaching people, allof that just to bring a check back home.
What I didn't know was that at acertain time in our marriage, my husband
wouldn't be able to travel anymorebecause of his health, and I would need
(38:55):
to become his caretaker to make surethat he's okay to do things for him.
So I don't leave him overnight.
Uh, and I have a hard time ifI have to go out for a day.
But just think all the timesthat I regretted getting on
those planes, trains, and buses.
I saw states, I saw ruralareas, I saw urban areas.
(39:16):
I met hundreds of peopleat every location.
I made friends, I madeextended family members.
I got to go across the ocean and,and work in Africa and see that, you
know, I, I've been to Canada, I'vebeen to Mexico, I've been to The
Bahamas, all in the name of work.
(39:36):
Well, now we can't travel.
So what would've happened if I would'velived my life, like the average worker
thinking, well, let's just hunker down.
Let's save every penny.
Let's save every dollar.
Let's stay in the old neighborhood.
Let's just live in this house.
Even though we've gotta have burglarbars on every window and door, let's just
make sure we have something paid for.
(39:57):
So when we retire, oh, I can go toHawaii or we can go to here or there.
Okay.
You don't know what's ahead andeverything that's happening in your
life is the part of God's plan.
And while you are grumbling andcomplaining about airline seats and
people coughing and sneezing withoutcovering their mouth, you are seeing
(40:21):
things that you might not have achance to see later because you don't
know what the circumstances will be.
So instead of grumbling, takeevery task as a privilege.
Accept it with grace, learn from it.
Expand your territory.
Do everything you can to beoutside of your comfort zone
(40:43):
because that's when you grow.
And, and I just had the biggestepiphany, because I was, when you
were talking about this, I was goingback to the former lesson, which is,
you know, tomorrow is not a promise.
And it just occurred to me thatI think in our lives, when we
hear tomorrow is not promised.
(41:03):
We think of it in terms oflife and death mortality.
I do what you can today becauseyou might not be here in tomorrow.
You might not be here in in 40 years,but I think it's more than that.
I think it's enjoy the life that you haveright now because you may not be able
to have that same kind of life tomorrow.
(41:27):
Doesn't mean that you're gone.
It just means that what youthought tomorrow would look
like, may not look like that.
So enjoy it today.
I have no regrets.
I have no regrets over notbeing able to travel now.
I have no regrets over not workingin, in person and training.
This is a blessing to be able to stayhome, to stay outta harm's way, not
(41:51):
just because of the, you know, loomingpandemic one right after another.
But because I took vows, I tookmarriage vows, and it's for sickness
and in health for better or worse.
And now this is the worstpart, this is the health part.
So I'm supposed to be hereand that's where I'm planted.
(42:11):
And, and I'm happy about it.
Ugh.
All right.
I'm listeners and viewers.
I'm sorry.
It it, I'm blown away.
This is why I am, I'mstumbling over my words.
Uh, I, I am, I really am.
And I don't know if, uh, Robert is gonnacut this part out or not, but I am.
(42:35):
It's very rare that I get tongue tied.
You know, it's 30 yearsof sales in retail.
I can talk to just aboutthe best of them, but Dr.
Bev, your, your life is aninspiration, an absolute inspiration.
Your belief in your philosophy andthe way I see you still approach
life as a kid in a candy store.
(42:56):
I see that.
it just,
Hey, thanks to Walt Disney Institute.
Oh, I'm gonna have to go to the institute.
I'm telling you that.
All right, lesson numbernine and this is 100% Dr.
Bev.
Don't let your mind get stagnant.
That's 100%.
(43:17):
You, your mind is not gonna get stagnant.
I would say anytime soon at all.
You are constantly learning,constantly teaching.
Talk to us about that.
I found out that I'm a creator.
, and I find I have the most joy increating the ideas that come down into me.
(43:39):
Not that I think up on my own or lookon the internet or copy off of somebody
else, but they just come into me,these titles, and I know right away
I'm gonna have to do an outline andI'm gonna have to create curriculum.
I'm gonna have to get this to my marketingteam, and we're gonna have to push it out.
And this is gonna be another live classbecause I'm supposed to teach this.
(44:00):
And what do I teach?
It'll come into me right beforeI have to create the PowerPoint
and the re and the resource files.
So I live my life like that.
I just, and I wake up during the night,sometimes ideas are flooding into my
mind and it's like, I've gotta get up.
I've gotta come to my home office.
I have to write this down.
What does this mean?
What kind of a class could this be?
(44:22):
I've been given the title,now I have to do the rest.
What does the rest look like?
I love it.
And we're up to our final lesson, andI kind of don't want this to end, but
I'm not gonna hold you video hostage
. Lesson number 10, don't let your health decline.
(44:42):
And we've talked about theramifications of growing older and
health, uh, throughout the episode,but, uh, give us some, some words
of, of wisdom and advice on that Dr.
Bev.
Over the years rushing around thecountry and the world, uh, jumping
in and out of other people's vehiclesand super shuttle vans and everything
(45:03):
else, I've taken my share of falls,tripping, being tired, trying to
drag luggage early in the morning.
4:00 AM gotta get to theairport for a 6:00 AM flight.
I've fallen and I've ignored.
Even following up to see if anything wasfractured, if anything is outta place.
(45:23):
All of the above.
Well.
. Now I have a lot of specialistsand I get shots in my knees.
So I think back of all the times, if Icould have just stopped when the plane
landed and come home and put my suitcaseaside and called a doctor or gone to
urgent care, or gone to the emergencyroom to get some x-rays, I would've known
(45:47):
then that those falls were the beginningof osteoarthritis and likely would've
been able to do something preventative.
But once you have it, you live withthe pain, you live with the pain
of the cortisone injections, thegel injections, when you no longer
have fluid, between the bones.
(46:07):
And I think about that.
I could have stopped, I could have takencare of my body when it was sending
me signals, moving too fast, movingwhile sleeping, all of that stuff.
But I didn't, I was just in a hurryto get on to the next, you know,
next destination, the next paycheck.
My older self is not like that.
Uh, if I wake up, I got put on a new,uh, blood pressure medication a few
(46:29):
weeks ago, and the first night I wokeup with these strange pains behind
my right eye, right then and there Iam sending a message to my primary.
I am having strange pains behind my eye.
I think this is a side effect.
I'm not taking this medication.
You need to come up withsomething in a hurry.
I never would've done that 10 years ago.
(46:50):
I would've just pushed it offand said, oh, it's headache.
I'll take a Tylenol and keep going.
and I think also too, listeners andviewers, that that is another unfortunate,
side effect, if you will, of beingan, an entrepreneur or a solopreneur.
I mean, it's all on you.
Go, go, go, go, go.
And you know, I can't stopfor this little tummy ache.
(47:12):
I can't stop for this tickle in my throat.
I can't stop for this migrainethat comes every once in a while.
Stop.
Stop.
Because if something is wrong andyou can be proactive about it,
again, you can't go back in time.
No, you can't change whatyou didn't take care of.
(47:32):
Mm-hmm.
can't change with another free lesson.
Dr.
Beth.
Stop giving them away
. I love it.
I love it.
All right.
Well, we are done with your lessons,and I tell you what, this, this
has been a, an amazing episode, butI've got one more question for you.
Okay.
(47:52):
What have you had to unlearn?
Self-criticism, hearingother people's voices.
Negative, um, words in mymind, like stupid, dumb.
You don't know anything.
You can't do anything.
You're never gonna be anything.
(48:14):
Um, I've had to unlearn that thosevoices are just tricks that are still
in my brain because I believed whatpeople said when they said that I would
never be anybody, never do anything.
All of those things.
You'll never be a writer.
You know, you belong in remedialEnglish and community college and
(48:36):
that's what you're gonna take.
And I was insulted, I criedto be in a remedial class.
Uh, it was horrible.
But it's okay cuz if those people werestill alive today, and I don't know
if they are cuz they were much olderat the time they taught me in college,
I wish they could see how their wordsaffect the people that they talk to.
(48:59):
And it takes a very strong personto throw those words over their
shoulder and just move forward.
they have an expression, sometimes itonly takes one person to believe in you.
That expression is, is very powerful.
But it's sometimes hurtful when youknow for a fact that there really is
(49:19):
only one person that believes in you.
. Like, it's not just you have one person.
Right.
Right.
It but, but it's sad because a lot of us,when I say us, I mean marginalized groups.
We're we, we are lucky if weare given that one person.
Mm-hmm.
lucky.
So, Dr.
(49:40):
Bev, this has been lifechanging for me, but I knew it
would be, I knew it would be.
Thank you.
And, let us know whatprojects are you working on.
Where can we find you?
What are you doing?
You can find me onLinkedIn under my profile.
That's the best way to reach out to me.
I'm trying to build my connectionsso I get more perks from LinkedIn.
(50:01):
I'm almost at 20,000 and I love it.
Um, my marketing team works on itfive days a week, building the,
connections in the non-profit world, thefoundation world, the government world.
So the best way toreach me is on LinkedIn.
Um, you can also look at mywebsite, bev browning.com.
Definitely encourage you to figure outwhat you wanna be because just because
(50:25):
somebody else planned your career for you,it doesn't mean it's the one you love.
You can always change over.
You can always do what you wanna do.
That's the spirit and the essenceof living someplace where our,
our destiny is not dictated to us.
We might be nudged one way or theother, but we still have free choice.
(50:48):
So powerful.
I wanna thank my guest, Dr.
Beverly Browning, for sharingher lessons with us today.
Thank you so much.
It's an honor to be on the show.
Thank you for theinvitation and reaching out.
Oh, I, you're stuck with me, Dr.
Bev, uh, . I'm gonna, I'm gonnabe reaching out more often.
(51:10):
Let me, let me exit out here.
You've been listeningto 10 Lessons Learned.
This episode is produced by RobertHossary, supported as always by
the Professional Development Forum.
Please tell us what youthink of today's lessons.
You can email us atpodcast@10lessonslearned.com.
That's podcast at the number10 10 lessons learned.com.
(51:32):
Go ahead and hit that like buttonsubscribe and turn on the notification
bell so you don't miss an episode of theonly podcast that makes the world wiser.
Lesson by lesson.
Thank you everyone.
Be safe out there.
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