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May 8, 2025 67 mins


This episode with my friend Amy Ortloff originally aired in August 2021 with the title Teaching People To Grieve With Me. As part of my effort to highlight the best of my past episodes, I wanted to replay this conversation, which is one of the most important I've ever shared.


Content warning: Child loss and suicide


In 2017, Amy Ortloff lost her middle child Ryan to suicide. Ryan was just 17 years old. Less than a week after his death, Amy took to her personal Facebook page and starting sharing every single day. She began by sharing stories about Ryan, family memories and examples of the kind of kid he was. She didn't want her child to be forgotten. 


As the weeks went by, deep in grief, Amy also started sharing her own experiences of this devastating time she was living through. She shared what she was learning in therapy, she set and shared her personal boundaries for interaction for those in her small town Oklahoma community. 


Amy's sharing was raw and vulnerable. It was heartbreaking and powerful. I made a point to read her posts every day that first year after Ryan. 

This episode is about the effects of that real-time sharing during the hardest time of her life, the positive and the negative. Amy was teaching us how to grieve with her, and it made an enormous impact on me long before I ever wrote a book about sharing stuff. 


If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text TALK to 741741. 

Please share this episode with anyone who needs to hear it.


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