Mark 10:1-16---Divorce and Divine Intent: Understanding Marriage Through Jesus' Teachings

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
All right, mark, chapter 10, verse 1.
Last week we talked about hell,this week we'll talk about
divorce.
So yay, it's God's word.

(00:30):
All right, mark.
Chapter 10, verse 1.
We are cruising through thebook of Mark and you know the
move is toward Jerusalem Chapter10, as Jesus is heading towards
Jerusalem.
It's not a fast walk that we'redoing there.
In chapter 10, jesus hasministry in the area known as

(00:54):
Judea.
Now other gospels spend moretime on it.
Mark has one chapter, but thistime period in Judea seems to be
about six months, so we're nottold everything.
But there are some occurrencesthat Mark wants to point us to,
and so that's the backgroundhere.

(01:16):
We read in verse one then Jesusarose from there and came to
the region of Judea by the otherside of the Jordan, and
multitudes gathered to him againand, as he was accustomed, he
taught them again.
So easy to picture.
Here Jesus is taking time toteach the people, anyone who

(01:39):
would come to hear him, and wecan just imagine the sweetness
of that, to hear him.
And we can just imagine thesweetness of that Jesus teaching
about heaven, about the heartof the Father, about his mission
, all these different things.
We got to know that it was good, as Jesus sat there and taught
the multitudes.
I know it was good.
And all at once in verse two,all at once in verse 2, nasty

(02:04):
old Pharisees come.
Here we go, verse 2.
The Pharisees came and asked himIs it lawful for a man to
divorce his wife?
Testing him.
So all in the sweetness ofteaching with Jesus, all so

(02:26):
sweet, the multitude's justhanging on every word.
The Pharisees come and they aska question, testing him.
The Pharisees were good at this, testing Jesus.
They're trying to trap Jesus.
That word testing means to test, with the intention of making
something fail.
Right, a little different thanin school, right?

(02:47):
Your teachers generally don'ttest you to make you fail.
It's not good for you, it's notgood for them.
But it's more of a testing.
Maybe you would do with metalor something like that.
You want to see how far thisstuff will hold up.
And so testing here.
The Pharisees asked Jesus aquestion.
Their intention is to trap himand the question is about

(03:12):
divorce.
Again, their motive to trap him.
So this just doesn't sound funin any kind of way.
They ask him a question thereto make him fail.
They ask him a question thereto make him fail.
Now, maybe their motive in thiswas they knew that Jesus'
perspective on marriage anddivorce was strict, stricter

(03:35):
than most people in that worldand most people in our world.
Maybe they thought of John theBaptist.
You'll remember John theBaptist said it like it was.
He told Herod Herod, it's notright for you to have stolen
your brother's wife, it's notright for you, you're wrong.

(03:55):
And what did it do for John theBaptist?
It got him killed.
So maybe they want Jesus to puthis opinion out there, his
ideas out there, in front ofeverybody.
That area was Herod's area,judea there.
Maybe they were trying to gethim killed in that kind of way.

(04:15):
Whatever it is, we know thattheir intention on this is not
good.
They wanted him to fail.
Intention on this is not good.
They wanted him to fail.
So divorce, like it would betoday, back then was a charged

(04:37):
topic.
The Pharisees come asking aquestion and the question is
pretty simple Is it lawful for aman to divorce his wife?
Now, in Matthew, chapter 19, afew words are added to this.
A little more is told.
They say is it lawful todivorce your wife for any reason
?
Right, that's different.
That's even worse than whatthey're asking here.
But you know it was a chargedtopic and their reference was

(05:03):
Deuteronomy 24, verse 1 and 2.
Not much is said about marriageand divorce, especially in the
Bible.
But in Deuteronomy 24, verse 1,it says this when a man takes a
wife and marries her and ithappens that he finds no favor,
she finds no favor in his eyesbecause he has found some

(05:26):
uncleanness in her and he writesher a certificate of divorce,
puts it in her hand and sendsher out of his house.
So not a command, butinstruction on divorce.
Here Moses tells the peoplewhen a guy takes a wife and she
finds no favor, some uncleanness, and he sends her out of the

(05:56):
house, this is what needs tohappen.
And what is spoken of afterthis is some more instructions
on divorce.
But the idea here is not thatit's approved by God or
encouraged by God, but evil menare going to do it, evil women
are going to do it.
We're all going to fail and inmarriage and divorce sometimes
that does happen.
So with the idea that peopleare going to do it, people are

(06:16):
going to divorce, there's someinstruction.
But for argument's sake let'sjust look at this what we're
told in Deuteronomy 24.
I guess I should have you turnthere.
You can hold your place here.
Deuteronomy 24, verse 1.
When a man this is 24, verse 1.

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I guess it would take you asecond to find it.
Deuteronomy 24, verse 1.
A man takes would take you asecond to find it.
Do you remember 24, verse 1?
A man takes a wife and marriesher.
It happens that she finds nofavor in his eyes, some
uncleanness, and that was thebig debate here.
For these guys, what doesuncleanness mean?

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If a person might get divorcedbecause of uncleanness, what
does that mean?
And you know the story.
There were two schools ofthought in the day, two teachers
, a guy named Rabbi Shema andRabbi Hillel.
Shema said uncleanness isunfaithfulness, infidelity in

(07:24):
marriage.
That's the uncleanness here.
So if a man finds that his wifehas been untrue, he could
divorce her.
Hillel was a little different.
You know, hillel, he was aliberal, right?
He said uncleanness could beanything.
It could be if she doesn't makehis favorite dinner,

(07:48):
uncleanness it could be.
You know she doesn't keep thehouse clean like he wishes.
She would right Uncleanness.
And even to the point of Ifound somebody prettier than her
uncleanness of.

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I've found somebody prettierthan her uncleanness.
And go figure.
Most men took Rabbi Hillel'steaching to heart.
Uncleanness was anything thatjust didn't please you For any
reason.
You could divorce your wife andthis, of course, was a proof
text of this.
It gave them liberty to dowhatever they wanted.
Now, the idea of uncleanness isany kind of deficiency, and

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that's what that word means.
But here's the thing we allhave deficiencies.
That's one thing you learnabout being human.
We all fall short, right,deficiency.
One of the big things inmarriage that sometimes shakes
you up is the morning after youget married.
You wake up and you realize youget bedhead, you have bad

(09:00):
breath in the morning.
No, my wife does not getbedhead.
You know you have bad breath inthe morning.
Now, my wife does not getbedhead or have bad breath.
She doesn't get eye boogers oranything like that.
But one thing you notice.
One thing you notice is we'reall deficient, we're all flawed
human beings, and so thisuncleanness, this uncleanness,

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we're all messed up right In 28years.
Well, actually, we acquiredthis saying early on.
We've acquired a sayingsometimes I wake up grumpy.
You know how to finish thisright.
Other times I just let himsleep and you know this is it,
this is life, right, sometimeswe have good attitudes and

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sometimes I'm just not verysweet, right?
And yet this was their prooftext of why they should be able
to separate imperfection andnotice.
Jesus asked them the questionverse three he answered and said
to them Jesus answers thequestion with a question, which
is great, that's Jesus style,right there, and he says what
did Moses command you?
And they said well, mosespermitted a man to write a

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certificate of divorce and todismiss her.
Deuteronomy 24, right?
And Jesus answered and said tothem it's because of the
hardness of your heart he wroteyou this precept.
It's because you are selfish,you are sinful, you are wicked,

(10:43):
and that's why Moses permitteddivorce Permitted but not
commanded.
Right here the Pharisees sayMoses did permit us.
In Matthew we find that some ofthem said he commanded a

(11:06):
certificate of divorce be given,and that's another story
altogether.
Isn't it In Matthew's gospel?
There he commanded.
Isn't it funny how we can takesomething that involves even our
own wickedness and selfishnessand see it as somehow a
spiritual obligation.
Selfishness and see it assomehow a spiritual obligation,

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right?
I've heard plenty of people saythings like well, god told me
to divorce my wife.
And you're like absolutely not,god would never tell you to do
that for lots of reasons.
But they go.
Oh, but it's spiritual.
I'm being spiritual in this.
I'm hearing from the Lord.
This is what God told me.
It's amazing how evil we canget, calling evil good and good

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evil.
So that's their response andit's pretty sorry.
But notice Jesus, he discussesthis further.
This regulation was because ofthe hardness of your heart.
God knows your stubbornness andyour selfishness, your

(12:14):
insistence on evil.
And God permitted you Now inthat God laid down more
regulations, we'll talk about ina little bit that God laid down
more regulations, we'll talkabout in a little bit.
But Jesus points them to thedeeper command Notice verse 6,.
But from the beginning ofcreation, god made them male and

(12:38):
female, and for this reason aman shall leave his father and
mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one
flesh.
They are no longer two but oneflesh.
Therefore, what God has joinedtogether, let not man separate.
So Jesus says well, here's thereal answer, guys, what did

(13:01):
Moses command?
Well, you gave me Deuteronomy24, but really you should have
gone further back to Genesis,chapter 1.
Now, Genesis, also penned byMoses.
Genesis, exodus, leviticus,numbers and Deuteronomy they're
all written by Moses.

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So where was the originalcommand?
Well, it was all the way backin Genesis, chapter 1, verse 27.
And we reference that here.
If you're not in Mark, you canget in Mark.
We reference that in verse 6.
At the beginning of creation,god made them male and female

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Genesis 1, 27.
In the beginning, god created arelationship.
He saw that man was alone andhe saw that it wasn't good.
So God created woman, and thisis where we read he made them
male and female.
And he establishes thisrelationship of marriage very

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simply between one man and onewoman.
Right, this discusses a lot ofmodern issues.
Right, it makes polygamy notbiblical.
Right, because there was onlyone man and one woman.
It obviously makeshomosexuality unbiblical, a sin,

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because there was only one manand one woman.
No other options involved inthis.
Marriage was established as agood part of God's creation.
That's important for us toconsider, because marriage gets

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a lot of bad raps, but Godcreated it as good.
We mess it up, but God createdit as good.
One man, one woman for one life.
Now, in verse 7, jesus goes onto quote Genesis, chapter 2,
verse 24, quoting the words ofGod through Moses, for two
becoming one flesh.

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Leaving father and mother,that's an important part in
marriage.
For someone who's a father,that's a little heartbreaking,

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right, but our kids would leavefather and mother and be joined
to their spouse and the twobecome one flesh.
So it's leaving and cleaving isthe words used here, but it's
like two lumps of clay, and thisis childish, I know, but I've
got a blue lump of clay and apink.
This is man and woman, right,and I want to just demonstrate

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this.
All right, because it's cute.
Right, the two become one flesh.
Behold, right, two balls ofclay becoming one.
Ha ha, ha ha.
They should use this in awedding, right, just get right
there and start playing withPlay-Doh.
Right, and here it is.

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Ho Behold, the marriage of twoballs of clay.
The two become one flesh.
God joins two distinct peopleand makes one family unit.
And notice in verse 9 whatJesus says about this.
God joins two distinct peopleand makes one family unit.
And notice in verse nine whatJesus says about this.
Therefore, what God has joinedtogether, let not man separate.

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Now another picture is here, ifyou can handle, another picture
in the words what God has joinedtogether, it's another picture
of marriage.
Right, joined together.
It's actually we could use theword yoked what God has.

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Yoked together, joined together.
And in agriculture, you know,you would take two animals, two
oxen let's just say I thinkthat's the right plural of the
word ox, oxen and you would jointhem together with a brace
connecting both of them.
Now picture this.
This is marriage Twoindividuals working together for
a common cause.

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This is what marriage issupposed to be.
This is why Paul says in 2Corinthians 6 that you shouldn't
be unequally yoked in marriage,specifically with an unbeliever
, because here you are twopeople wanting to live for God's
glory.
Right?
You're a new creation in Christ, created for good works.

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Ephesians 2.10 says so.
God has good works for you as aperson, but when you get
married, god has good works foryou as a couple.
But when you get married, godhas good works for you as a
couple and you're joinedtogether in that.
That's a great way to look atmarriage.
What is God calling us to do?
Let's do it together, right?
That should be the way marriageis, and God makes it good.

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He made it good, he made itbeautiful.
Now that's marriage Twobecoming one, two joining
together for a common purpose.
But then verse 10.
And this is good.
This is good.
Verse 10.
In the house.
So all the crowds go away andthe Pharisees disappear In the

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house.
His disciples also asked himagain about this same matter.
So they got questions.
His disciples were like weheard what you said about
marriage and divorce, what aboutthat?
And they asked some deeperquestions, maybe about the
second part of Deuteronomy, 24there, which basically says this

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In verse 11, jesus explains it.
It's great to come to Jesuswith your questions.
So he said to them whoeverdivorces his wife and marries
another commits adultery againsther.
And if a woman divorces herhusband and marries another, she
commits adultery.
So some pretty hard words here.

(19:17):
But I think they kind of applyto what's mentioned in the end
of Deuteronomy, chapter 24,verses one through four.
That here's the picture.
If you get divorced permittedfor the hardness of our hearts
if you get divorced and you getremarried, you should not return
to the first husband or wife.
And you know that just seemslike extra information.

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Why?
Well, I think the reason iskind of here is you're just kind
of making a mockery of thewhole thing.
What happens if you go andmarry someone else?
And you said well, that was amistake, I'm going to go back to
the original person and remarrythem.
You're kind of just making alegitimate adultery in that.
You're kind of just saying noneof it really matters, I'm going

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to do what I want.
You get married.
Well, I have God's blessing.
You get married.
Well, then you're going to goback into the other person.
You get married again.
I have God's blessing.
And you're really putting God'sstamp on the whole thing.
Our just kind of who cares what?
It's meaningless, I'll be withwho I want to be with, I'll do
what I want to do.
God blesses it and God says, no, you can't do that.

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You just can't do that.
There's consequences to ourdecisions.
So these are all hard things.
They have to do with thestubbornness of our hearts, the
selfishness it always includesselfishness, at least on behalf
of one person's selfishness.
There's hurt, there'sdestruction, all these things.

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Well, where are we in our worldtoday?
Well, statistic that I looked upthis morning says 33% of
marriages end in divorce.
And you're thinking, I knowyou're thinking, wait a second.
I heard that over 50% ofmarriages end in divorce.
That was true.

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Well, is it a revival?
No, less people are gettingmarried now than before.
More people decide.
You know what, forget marriagealtogether, let's just live
together, and when we get sickof each other we'll just move
out.
No harm done.
Right Now, obviously that's nottrue, but that's what's going
on in our world.

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Marriage has such a bum rap thatwe just most people just do
away with it altogether.
And yet you look and you go.
But God designed this for good.
We make it so ugly.
There's so much hurt from allthese things, and I know God
grieves.
We'll talk about that in asecond.
But essentially it's thecheapening that God was wanting

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to guard against in the firstplace.
Now, here we see what happensagain when two lives come
together as one.
Now you could say that happensin marriage.
Paul says this 1 Corinthians6.15.

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1 Corinthians 6.15.
Paul says this, and you canlisten or you can turn or
whatever, but just track with it.
Do you not know that yourbodies are members of Christ?
Shall I then take the membersof Christ and make them members
of a harlot?
Certainly not.
Do you not know that he who isjoined to a harlot is one body

(22:37):
with her?
For the two, he says, shallbecome one flesh, but he who is
joined to the Lord is one spiritwith him.
So Paul gives us another use ofthis verse the two become one.
He says Corinthians I know it'sthe Corinthian way to go visit
a harlot sexual immorality.

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But here's something you haveto know when you join up with
someone in sexual intimacy, youbecome one with them.
Now, it's not marriage.
I don't think we should everput on that that that equals
marriage, because it doesn't.
But two coming together joinstheir flesh together.
Paul says there's somethingthat happens in our mind and in

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our spirit, whatever it is tobecome one flesh.
Now, it's not marriage, butthere is that bond that happens.
So in a world where peopledon't care about marriage but
still engage in sexual intimacyoutside of marriage, there's
still a bond that happens.
So let's just take ourdemonstration of two becoming

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one again and let's considerdivorce.
Right, we're going to separatethese two, oh please.
Well, there's some blue, ok.
There's some pink, ok, there'ssome pink, I bet probably turn
gray, I don't know what it wouldbecome.

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And you look at this and you go.
What happens when you try toseparate this mess?
Lots of pain I'm just going tosay that looks pretty painful
for the ball and lots of turmoiland tragedy.
And we go.
That's exactly what God knewwas going to happen.
The two become one.

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You take those two and you ripthem apart.
It's not going to be clean,it's not going to be pretty, and
God knows what these things aremade for.
And he says don't do it.
Don't do it, it's not what youwere made for.
Now it happens and there's somuch pain and so much grief and

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I just picture the heaviness inthe room as Jesus, oh, he knows
what's best and he's there inthat room and he's explaining
these things to his disciples.
And I just got to think, youknow, it kind of just weighs on
your heart when you think aboutall the people you know or
whatever that have been throughit and you go pain, suffering
tears, and you go pain,suffering tears, all these

(25:13):
things.
And I see Jesus and you knowmost of our Bibles.
It just stops right there andwe could go on to the next study
next week and say this is agood place to stop, but I think
it's actually attached.
Notice verse 13.
We're going to attach it all,right.
Then they brought littlechildren to him that he might

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touch them, but the disciplesrebuked those who brought them.
They're kind of lame and doingthat, by the way, but anyways.
But jesus saw it and wasgreatly displeased and said to
them let the little childrencome to me, do not forbid them,
for such is the kingdom of God.
Assuredly, I say to you,whoever does not receive the
kingdom of God as a little childwill by no means enter it.

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And he took them up in his armsand he laid his hands on them
and he blessed them.
Man, is there anything sweeterthan seeing Jesus take little
children in his arms, just holdthem and bless them, love them.
Just hold them and bless them,love them.
And I think maybe he needed itat that point, you know.

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But I think it's a greatpicture here to see We've all
seen it the pain and destructionthat comes through divorce,
especially to the little ones.
The tears in the middle of thenight, and Jesus loves them,
especially to the little ones,the tears in the middle of the

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night, and Jesus loves them.
Now we got a couple minutes andwe're gonna go to, I think, one
of the most misused passages inthe Bible, malachi chapter two.
Can't talk about divorce andnot talk about Malachi chapter
two.
Malachi is the last, theItalian prophet right, the last

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book of the Old Testament.
So the easiest way to find itmight be to go to Matthew and
turn to the book right beforethat Malachi, chapter 2.
Malachi is a little bit of adebate between God and his
people and I got to say thepeople in the book are really
snotty, right.
God's people are like when didwe ever do anything wrong?

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Read the book.
I mean they'reused asconcerning divorce, we beat

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people up with Malachi 2, 16.
For the Lord, god of Israel,says that he hates divorce.
Did you know?
God hates divorce.
Let me say it again to you,those that have been through
divorce God hates divorce and wejust beat people with it in the
church.
We beat up little kids withthis verse God hates divorce.

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Your parents divorced.
God hates divorce.
Don't divorced, god hatesdivorce, don't you know it?
And you know we like to findthings God hates.
That we're not doing, maybe,and we just hold it over the
people that have had thattrouble and people have been
beat up with this verse.
But I want to see the heart ofGod in this.
Let's back up to verse 13.
This is the second thing you do.

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They're having a conversation.
This is the second thing you do.
You cover the altar of the Lordwith tears, with weeping and
crying.
So he does not regard theoffering anymore, nor receive it
with goodwill from your hands.
Yet you say for what reason Seeyou hear that so snotty?
For what reason?

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Because the Lord has beenwitness between you and the wife
of your youth, with whom youhave dealt treacherously.
Yet she is your companion andyour wife by covenant, but did
he not make them one, having aremnant of the Spirit?
And why one?
He seeks godly offspring, godlychildren.

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Children are involved.
Therefore, take heed to yourspirit and let no one deal
treacherously with the wife ofhis youth, for the Lord, god of
Israel, says that he hatesdivorce, for it covers one's
garment with violence, says theLord of hosts.
Therefore.
So here we see the wholepicture.
God says look, I got thisagainst you.

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You're covering the altar withtears, doing whatever you want,
leaving the wife of your youth.
She trusted you and you've donetreacherously.
I hate divorce.
God says, not because he hatespeople to get divorced, but you
know, and you can see it here,he hates it because of what it

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does.
It takes and just rips apartlives, the kids, the adults,
everyone.
It rips apart the good thingthat God made and I think Jesus
takes the little kids up in hisarms and he says love you,
blesses them.

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That's good ministry rightthere.
He takes people who have beenthrough it, even people who have
done stupid things with theirmarriages I think there's a
certain amount of.
He might take those up and likegive them a little whooping
first.
You know that probably would beappropriate.
God does that.
But we mess ourselves up sobadly and you look back to

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Genesis.
It's a good thing and God looksand goes it's good.
I made it good and we mess itup so badly.
But the grace of God would comein and fix what we've messed up
so many times.
Bring some joy out of thosetears and he can do it.

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God, heavy stuff, I think.
I just want to thank you formaking life good.
Though, god, we look at youroriginal intent and you've made
so many things good for us.
Your heart towards us is sokind.
You're so patient.
Your heart towards us is sokind.

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You're so patient.
God, help us to look to you forwhat we need in this life.
God, I just pray for those thathave been through it.
Maybe it was their fault, maybeit was someone else's fault.
But, god, I pray that you wouldjust restore the years that the

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locusts eat.
God, you're so good to do that.
You forgive us, you restore us,god, your heart towards us is
so kind, god, in all thesethings, that we would see the
good things that you have for us, that we would follow you and

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obey you.
Our own stubbornness we'd setaside God.
We need your grace even forthis.
God, work these things in ourheart.
However you want to God, wetrust you.