#181-Dad Up - Interview with Bryan Ward - A Brothers' Creed

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello and welcome to another episode of a Brothers Creed podcast,
where we inspire fathers to build the blueprint for the next generation.
We are the Thomas Brothers. I'm Ethan. And I'm Jared.
And today we have a conversation with podcaster, speaker, coach,
father, father, Brian Ward from the Dad Up podcast.
It's a great conversation that he, Brian, talks with his whole podcast he's

(00:23):
been doing for five years.
He talks with folks, fathers and even some mothers, about fatherhood and about
how we we can be better dads, which is what our podcast is about too.
Our podcast is centered in kind of building those creed, attributes of your
creed and those virtues that help you become a great dad.
And his is right along those lines as well. So it's a great conversation.

(00:46):
We talk about a lot of different things, give examples of good fatherhood, bad fatherhood.
I share some millennial movie references at one point, but it's a great conversation
and he's a great guy and we're We're glad to have him on.
So let's go ahead and jump into this podcast. All right, let's do it.
Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day.

(01:06):
Music.
You should be a monster, an absolute monster, and then you should learn how
to control it. No retreat, no surrender.
You can't conceive of what I'm capable of.

(01:27):
Music.
All right. Today we have with us Brian Ward from DadUp Podcast.
Thank you, Brian, for coming and being on the show with us.

(01:48):
Guys, I'm telling you, I've been looking forward to this for a while.
So I appreciate you both, not only for what you guys are doing,
but also for the podcast, spreading the word.
I mean, this is, you know, brother's creed, but you guys are all about fatherhood.
And anytime I run across other guys that have fatherhood podcasts.
It just helps to build the strength of fathers in the area. And I have to tell you something.

(02:14):
I've had people that have said, why do you go on other podcasts,
parenting podcasts? That's like your competition.
Like, no, it's not. We're all in this together, man. I'm trying to help each other out.
So thank you guys very much for having me. I'm really looking forward to the conversation.
Of course. Yeah. I mean, I totally agree with you. It's, we've had lots of different

(02:35):
podcasters on and I'm uplifted by their message. and there's certain things
that we have, you know, a little bit of a different bend on things.
Like, yeah, we're talking about fatherhood, but our podcast is a little more
focused on like building virtues with kids.
And like your podcast is probably along similar lines, but maybe it's just a
little bit of a different flavor.
And so like, there's everything coming together creates a great synergy and

(02:59):
you learn things from different people.
And I just love it. And at the very least, I love talking with other interesting
people that are interested in things that I'm trying to strive for in my own
life. So I appreciate you coming on.
Yeah, thank you. Yeah. So Dad Up podcast, how did you get there?
Where did you start from? And where did the name come from? Obviously,

(03:22):
when you're talking to someone and you're like, hey, you need to dad up.
That's kind of what I think of.
Man up, but dad up. It's kind of like man up, but dad up. How did you get there? Sure.
So that's how I came up with it. Man up, dad up. So my older son was in college at the time.
My younger son was a senior in high school.
I had been just an all-in dad at everything they did, whether it was sports,

(03:47):
I coached all their teams all the way up through high school,
whether it was parent-teacher conferences, field trips, all those things, I was there.
And when my younger son
was about to graduate high school he was approaching his his
in the end of the year i i'm not
kidding you i got scared i like i had i got

(04:07):
him serious anxiety i don't want to quite say depression but i felt like this
sadness in me because i literally felt like my fatherhood journey was coming
to an end like my boys are about to go off on their own and i'm like that's
all i've known now what what am i supposed to do and don't get me wrong I was
looking forward to being an empty nester with my wife. Yeah.
But at the same time, it's like, that's all I know. I know to just be a dad.

(04:32):
And now I don't know where I'm supposed to go next.
And I was talking to family members, a brother of mine in particular.
And he said, he goes, Brian, you have always been a phenomenal dad.
You need to try to help other dads.
And I'm like, what do you mean? Like, how should I do it? Like coach?
And he's like, yeah, maybe eventually, but how about a podcast where you're
just interviewing other dads and their experiences?

(04:52):
And maybe you'll, maybe you'll touch somebody out there that's going through the same experience.
And I thought, all right, I'll give it some thought. I talked to my wife and
she's like, definitely you have to do that.
And so that's kind of how it started. And then I just, I had knew nothing about
podcasts, maybe listened to a couple and I just reached out to a couple of podcasters
said, how do I get started?
They gave me some tips and strategies and stuff. And then the name, I had about 10 names.

(05:19):
I've had my list narrowed down to about 10 names. One of them was dads are us.
And my kid said, no, no, no, no, no. So I ran the names by my,
by my family, my two boys and my wife and the, the man, the dad up came from
the, the meaning of man up.
And we say that to guys, you know, like dude, man up.
And so that's kind of where it came from. And my boys, my wife were like, yep, that's the one.

(05:43):
I love it. That is in a quick story, how, how the dad up podcast got started.
And there's a slogan, you know, for dads about dads being dads,
but it's crazy. I have had moms on my show and my audience right now is, is 60% dads and 40% moms.
Wow. So even though it's a dad podcast, it's really a parenting podcast.

(06:04):
That's really what it is. And I, like I said, I've had my wife on,
I've had my sister-in-laws on, I've had reality stars on, I've,
I've a lot of different moms that I've had on my show.
So it's always good to get their perspective too. But I think that's how the journey got started.
I think any dad would agree that a good partner and a mom is important,

(06:26):
and any mom would agree that a good, strong partner and a dad is very important
as well. So I think it's an amazing effort.
Yeah, I was just going to say, I think that what you just mentioned is something
that's really important.
I think that there's a lot of podcasters and influencers out there right now
where they're in this kind of manliness or manhood podcast sphere where they

(06:53):
don't really talk about women at all.
In fact, they leave being a good partner or a good husband out completely.
It's something that is bizarre that I've been kind of watching over the past,
I don't know, since we've started a podcast where I've seen probably three or
two, four different major influencer, guy influencers who have gotten divorced.

(07:16):
Their marriages have crumbled underneath them because of their own egos or because
of alcohol or different things.
And I'm kind of like, Like, guys, you're kind of missing the point.
Being a good masculine man, being a good dad, a lot of these guys don't talk
about fatherhood, but some of them do.
It's about also being a good husband and caring about your wife and being a

(07:40):
good caretaker or a partner to her.
And I feel like that's left off a lot, which is probably why there's having a lot of issues.
So I appreciate you mentioning that because I think that's so important to bring up.
Yeah, I agree with you. And one thing that my wife and I, you know,
been together over 27 years.
And one of the things that we focus on as a couple is, is each other.

(08:02):
We focus on each other a lot.
We actually have a marriage coach that we go and see every other month.
And we see her because not because we have problems. So we don't have problems.
Just kind of make sure that we're still in alignment with each other.
We have discussions, sit down discussions where just her and I,
we have our, we have of this certain thing that we do almost every night where

(08:23):
it's a marriage book that we read out of. She reads one chapter.
We have our same book. She reads one chapter. I read the same chapter.
We're quiet. We sit there and read, and then we close it up,
and then we talk about that chapter.
So we do things like that. But it's important because you're right.
If you don't have that, what I call the foundation of the husband and wife,

(08:44):
it's going to be very hard to have a very good, successful parenting journey
with kids if you don't have that good background or that good foundation.
Yeah, I'm just thinking if my wife and I read a chapter at the same time,
she'd finish in about five minutes and it'd take me about 30.
Yeah, that's how it happens for me.

(09:08):
I guess one thing that I'm interested to hear your thoughts on,
and this actually wasn't one of the questions we had kind of sent over to you
is that fatherhood has changed so much from, you know, when I was being raised,
you know, my dad, you know, maybe that boomer generation,
you seem to me, you know, you said your kids are grown.
You strike me as probably Gen X, but you mentioned how involved you were with

(09:31):
your kids and field trips, you know, parent-teacher conferences all through
all these sports. I would.
It seems that more fathers these days, especially millennial fathers who are
more of the fathers nowadays, they're becoming much more involved in the raising
of these children, which I think is a fantastic thing.

(09:53):
Back in the 60s and 50s and 60s, it was just like your wife's at the hospital
giving birth and you're at the bar doing whatever.
It's just like, oh, whatever. Or you don't even change a diaper ever.
And so I feel like in many ways, fathers are more equally yoked now to their wives.
It's more of a partnership than just like, you do the children thing and I'll

(10:17):
do the money thing. It's more of a partnership.
And so fatherhood has changed quite a bit.
And I imagine that on your podcast, you get some very different...
This is the question too.
Do you get some very different sentiments about what fatherhood is or what being a good dad is?
Some dads might say, hey, for me, being a good dad is being at all my kids'

(10:37):
plays or being at all my kids' sports teams.
And other dads are like, hey, I'm only going to be there if they win because
I'm not going to have a loser in my house. Some dads are like that.
So what kind of stuff do you hear on your podcast? Yeah.
What's interesting, and I agree with you, I see fatherhood, the role of dads
changing in that they're starting to become more and more involved.

(10:58):
And I've actually seen it over the last maybe five to 10 years,
I've just kind of seen, it's a slow, been a slow shift.
Like we were used to be called babysitters. That's what dads were.
We were the babysitters. So we would go out and work all day. Mom would stay home.
And then the weekends and moms are like, we have shop, I have shopping to do. I got a groceries.
I got to do this. You stay with the kids. All right. I'll, I'll babysit the

(11:21):
kids. And that's how it was.
And now that, that is shifting where you're seeing a lot more dads be involved.
And I think one of the reasons is because.
We see what's happening in the world with kids. They're growing up.
And if the fathers aren't involved, the statistics on the things that they get
in trouble with or the things, the paths that they go down, it's bad.

(11:44):
It's detrimental to those kids.
So yeah, the dads are starting to become more involved.
Now, I've had dads on my show that from the onset of the social media,
they appear to be great dads, right? Right.
And that hasn't always been the case. I have, I have interviewed guys going,
he's, he's posting all this stuff with his kids and blah, blah, blah.

(12:07):
And I'm like, I got to help this guy on. I put them on and all he wants to talk about is himself.
That's it. All he wants to talk about is his business. All he wants to talk
about is the things he's doing.
And I kept having to try to lean, you know, gear them back towards their kids.
So that's, that's hard when I come across people that I think,
you know, social media is, it's not everything.

(12:27):
It's not the whole story, right? You see all the good stuff on social media
and the behind the scenes stuff. Maybe dad really isn't involved.
He's posting a picture because he was, he spent time with his kid for an hour in the last month.
So he's posting that picture and we're like, Oh, I'm good for you,
man. You've been a good dad.
And yet the rest of the time he's, he's non-existent. Yeah. I also think that

(12:47):
dads carry a lot of weight on their shoulder.
They have a lot of, you said ego, some dads are like that, but I think dads
feel a lot of pressure to be the provider for the family.
So if you have somebody that's a dad that's working his corporate America or
something, and he's got to work 60, 70 hours a week, he thinks that he has to
do that in order to be a not only successful businessman or business person,

(13:11):
but also a successful parent or husband because he's providing for the family
the way that he should. good.
So I try to tell dads, you still can do those things and still be completely
involved and completely active because I worked in corporate America and I've
coached every single one of my boys' teams.

(13:33):
I was at all their stuff. And so I've been a successful dad,
a successful husband and successful in my business career.
So I've done it. So I know it's possible.
You just have to make that mental shift and be ready for it.
If you're wanting to to be a good dad, then you have to make that decision.
You have to make that shift. You have to sacrifice in other areas. I'm not rich.

(13:53):
I'm not rich, but I don't, I'll give you an example.
I bought my first car three months ago, brand new, my first brand new car,
brand new three months ago.
And the reason I did that is because both my boys are grown.
I'm not having to provide for them anymore.
Like my wife and I were very good about our boys come first.
And if we have to do without our own personal needs or wants because we want our boys to be,

(14:20):
to get the things that they need. That's, that's how we were.
So it's, it's tough. Cause you,
you interview some of these dads and it's like, I want to strangle you.
Yeah. I had about 10 years ago when my oldest, I have four kids,
Jared and I both have four kids.
When my oldest was just a baby, I had kind of had one of those pivotal moments

(14:43):
as a new father. father when I was at church one day.
It was just a normal Sunday, and my son, who was maybe a couple months old at
the time, started crying.
And so I took the baby up, and I took him out into the hallway so it wouldn't be disturbing.
Well, there was another dad that was out in the hallway, and he had probably
a two- or three-year-old. And I knew that he had a couple other kids as well

(15:05):
because I knew who he was.
And I walked out in the hallway, and I was holding the baby and the baby was
crying. I looked at him and I said, oh, you're on babysitting duty too.
And he looked at me and he goes, it's not called babysitting when it's your own kids.
And I was just like, oh, okay. And then we just kind of went on.

(15:26):
I kind of walked past and we kind of went on. But that has always stuck with
me. It's not babysitting if it's your own kid.
It's called fatherhood. Yeah, that to me was like, it was almost like this,
this, this air of responsibility that came upon me now towards just like,
oh, yeah, like this is, this is real.
And the baby was only like a month or two old.

(15:47):
And so it's just like, wow, okay, I had this kind of this mantle of fatherhood
that I felt like I came upon me at that time.
And I always look back at that. And I'm like, yeah, it's not,
it's not babysitting when it's your own kids, you know, and that's a lot of things I do.
It's not an obligation. It's not, you know, it's you made this choice to have
kids and it's your responsibility to.

(16:08):
And your privilege to enjoy the process and to create good people through whether
you're teaching. So you're an example.
So yeah, no, I have to go ahead.
No, you go ahead. I'll say that. I have to tell you two stories because that
just kind of hit me when you were talking about that. I had something that happened just today.
We were getting ready to leave Arizona.

(16:31):
We were doing a little bit of shopping and we're standing outside of this Lego
store in the mall. mall and this dad and this girl, she had to be three,
maybe four, maybe she wanted to go into the Lager store so bad.
And the mom was walking right there and he, the dad's holding her hand and she's
pulling away and she wants to go into the Lager store. He's like,

(16:51):
no, we're not going to the Lager store. No.
I mean, he is like, I looked at my wife. I said, I'm about to punch this dude in the throat.
He was yelling at a little girl in the mall in front of everybody.
Buddy no no you're not going and then
he said we're going and he turned her around and literally put his
leg on her back to push her along going come
on and finally got to a point where he

(17:13):
picked her up and the whole time that he's holding her he's like no you're i
mean he is snapping at this kid and she doesn't understand that she's three
years old four years old right we're walking along and i i wanted my wife's
like brian just take it easy and you're like here here's my card I'm going to dad up this guy.
Listen to this guy. And he made this comment that I was just like, what?

(17:38):
He goes, looks at his wife and he goes, I hate kids that can't talk to me. I'm like, wow.
You hate kids that can't talk. Wow, dude. I'm like, I want to take that little
girl from you, man, because that's some crap.
I had another incident in an airport where I was sitting, we were waiting on
a flight. There was a flight delay and I saw two different dads.

(18:01):
Going this completely different direction. I had dad in the business role.
He's there with his family. I could tell he was on vacation and he's on the
phone with a business call.
His little kid kept coming up to him and he was literally like pushing the kid away.
Like, and he just wanted to show him something. The dad, the kid just wanted to show him something.
It's literally pushing the kid away, completely ignoring him,

(18:23):
completely ignoring him.
And he didn't like, if I was a dad in that situation, okay, I'm in a business call.
I'd say, son, give me one minute, let me finish this business call and then
you have all my attention, right? If it's an important business call. Yeah.
He was completely ignoring this kid, pushing him away. And I was just like.

(18:43):
Again, and then I saw just a few, maybe 10, 15 yards away, I saw this other
dad who was running around with his kids, playing with them,
keeping them entertained, like the complete opposite.
Like I was loving what he was doing and I was like wanting to kill this other dude.
And it just, you know what, listen, everybody's going to make mistakes.

(19:07):
It's hard. It is hard to be a dad, but I think it's rather easy if you put your
time and effort into it, it actually comes pretty easy.
Yeah. I was thinking that a lot of times people will say, oh,
the media, or television and movies and stuff, they're such a negative influence.
I think in a certain situation, I think that actually the media and movies have

(19:32):
actually influenced me for good. And I think back to a lot of movies I watched as a kid.
I think about all these deadbeat dads who I never wanted to be like.
Like the dad from Santa Claus.
Or like Tim Allen, right? Or like the dad from Elf. Or Jingle All The Way.
Or what was it? Getting Even With Dad. Or The Angels in the Outfield.

(19:56):
There's so many movies where there's these deadbeat dads. I don't know if you've
ever heard the song Cats in the Cradle. or about the, you know, that song.
I love that song. And I think that I've, like, as a kid, I was exposed to a
lot of these, like, I mean, even as an adult, you know, just thinking about this stuff.
There's a country song by, I think it's Tim McGraw. It's called Drive,
where he talks about his dad taking him on a drive on a boat as a kid.

(20:21):
And then how later, you know, he drove in a truck and then now he drives with
a Jeep with his daughters.
I love that song. And I love just the emphasis on fatherhood.
In those movies, obviously, there was like a deadbeat dad, which oftentimes
at the end of the movie, they kind of come around.
But you talked about earlier about dads that work 70 hours, you know,
and they're always, you know, crazy busy.

(20:41):
Oh, there's another, another Christmas one, a family guy with Nicholas Cage.
And it's just like, for me, like every, all this, all this other stuff is my
legacy is not necessarily the work that I do at work.
You know, if I die, they're gonna have my stuff boxed up in probably 24 hours
and just ship back to my house and they're like, okay, let's find a replacement at work.

(21:01):
But the work that I'm doing here in my home is critically important.
And so if I'm thinking about like, oh, I need to stay late and work,
I mean, occasionally that will happen.
But I really try to make time so that I can be there to do stuff.
For example, on Mondays, I usually go and help teach my youngest son, my five-year-old.

(21:22):
Well, he's not my youngest son, but my youngest son that does jujitsu.
I help teach his class. I leave at about four o'clock from work to go help teach his class.
And then I help teach the next class at five o'clock for my other son.
And I just love the opportunity to be there to help teach their class and also help other kids.
And it's just like, I can start work an hour earlier or work through lunch to be able to go do that.

(21:45):
And so I think that you just have to have your priorities aligned and what's
really going to matter in the long run.
If you have a bajillion dollars, but you have nobody that loves you,
no family, is it going to make that big of a difference.
So that's just something that was, you can, you, you have a lot of, a lot of debt.

(22:06):
I'm not, I mean, Lincoln, I'm not against, you know, you going out and making
a lot of money and doing, doing your running your business and doing the things
that you need to do to make that kind of money.
Yeah. That's great for you, but you have to also keep in mind,
what is my relationship like with my kids right now? Because I'm gone all the time.
And I try to tell dads, I coach a lot of dads and I try to tell them,

(22:27):
look, I know you have to work all these hours.
I know you're trying, I know you're, you know, you're maybe living paycheck
to paycheck and all that kind of stuff. I get it. I understand that. I have respect for that.
I get it. But you have to, on the times that you are home, because you are,
on the times that you are home, even though you may have no gas in the tank, you may be on empty,
you're still going to have to give out a little bit more to your family because

(22:51):
the problems that you have as a dad away from your home cannot be brought in
the house because your family didn't cause those problems outside of the home.
And I tell dads that, listen, your legacy is not the business you're building.
Your legacy is not the millions of dollars that you're trying or billions of
dollars that you're trying to make.

(23:12):
Your legacy is not the foundation that you're trying to get started.
Your legacy starts in the home, period.
That starts in the home. If your foundation is broken in your home,
and I call our Carl family a foundation, if there's cracks in that foundation.
It will affect everything else around the house.
Whether it's your relationships outside the home, your business outside the

(23:34):
home, your health, it will affect all those things that there's any of those
cracks that are happening in that foundation. So I told dad,
your legacy doesn't start trying to build that business. I'm trying to build it for my kids.
No, you need to start your legacy in the home because your kids are going to
remember it. Dad was never there for me.
And now guess what? I'm 16, 17 years old, and I have a major problem that I need a lot of help with.

(23:57):
And I'm scared and I don't know what to do, but I can't go to dad because he was never there.
I don't, he doesn't know me. He does not know me because he wasn't there.
And that's, that was a scary thing for me.
I grew up like that. My dad was a blue collar worker, constantly gone.
I can remember, I played a lot of sports.
I can remember on one hand how many sporting events they went to, my mom and dad.

(24:19):
And I used to ride to practices and games with my friend's parents because my
parents, now they were working, they're blue collar workers.
They worked a lot of hours, but I mean, I had a wrestling match.
One of my parents came to my wrestling match on a Saturday.
I had two tournaments, two wrestling matches that I had to do.
The first one I did, I wrestled, I won.
I had to wait about two to three hours for my next match. And my dad's standing

(24:43):
there and he's mad. He's like, what are we doing?
And I'm like, I have to wait for my next match. My team's going right now,
but I've got to wait for my next match.
And he's like, I'm not waiting for that. Come on.
What? I can't leave, dad. He's like, no, no, no. We're out. We're out.
I'm not standing around here for three hours.
And he made me leave. I had to go tell my coach I was leaving.
And he was like, what? We're going to have to forfeit. I'm like,

(25:04):
my dad's making me leave.
Oh, geez. And I was in high school and I still remember that.
And it's that kind of thing that the times that you don't spend with your kids.
I mean, imagine this. You guys, do your kids play sports? Yeah.
Okay. So what sports do they play? Basketball?
Seasonal. Yeah. Soccer, swimming. My kids do jujitsu and then occasionally soccer

(25:27):
or basketball, depending on the season.
Okay. So you take soccer or basketball, for example, and you guys have to work.
You guys have a major project you're trying to get done and it's the one game
you're going to miss, but you're like, I'm sorry, honey, I have to be here.
I've got to get this done.
And then your son makes his first three-point shot ever, and you weren't there to see it.

(25:48):
I mean, how does that... I would be devastated if I didn't see that.
Yeah. Yeah. I agree with what you're saying, but I think I want to push back
a little bit and see what you have to say.
Just because I think that we can't set up an unrealistic expectation.
I think that there's a lot of pressure, especially for myself. I feel a lot of pressure.

(26:09):
I don't want to waste this time with my kids, right? And I got four boys.
So I'm constantly like trying to do everything. Sure.
So if I'm constantly, if like I have this crazy heightened level of like, I don't want to miss out.
I don't want to miss out to where I would be devastated if I missed a game.
Obviously I would be sad if I missed a great shot or a great goal. Right.
But like, I think that that's why you have two parents. Right.

(26:32):
So that my wife can be there to cheer him on. I don't always have to be there.
Like, for example, my wife took my, one of my older sons, not the oldest one,
but the next oldest, he's eight. She took him to Denver to visit her parents this past weekend.
It's like, he's having experiences. My wife's going to take my oldest son to
Harry Potter World later in the year because he read all the Harry Potter books.
And so I'm creating these experiences. I'm kind of earning money so that we

(26:56):
can afford these experiences.
But she's going to do these things.
I don't feel like I always have to be there to enjoy that with him.
Because my wife is there. We're a team. And I can't, if I guilt trip myself
every single time, I'm not there for one of my four kids, who's just like an
infinite variant of things that they're doing.
Like, I feel like I would, my personality is such that I would really beat myself

(27:19):
up if I held myself to that kind of a standard.
So I, that, that's how I would push back a little bit. Obviously I want to hear your thoughts.
I, I totally agree with you. And I'm not, I'm not for any dads that are out there watching this.
You're like, Brian, you're, you're, you're, you're a nut job when you think
that kind of stuff, because no, I'm not saying that that's not, that's not the case.

(27:39):
I mean, that does happen. That is, that's reality, right? Yeah.
I'm just saying that in the times that you are there, it has to be completely
like you have to be all in.
Yeah. It'll be like on your phone when you're watching the game,
right? The times that you're devoting to your job because you're trying to work
money, you're working on a project, you got a serious deadline you got to meet.
You're not thinking about anything but that project. You're like,

(28:00):
boom, boom, boom. I've got to focus on this laser focus. I'm going to get this thing done.
When you want to, you know, you got, you got an ailment that you're dealing with.
You don't just deal with it. You go to the doctor. I need a doctor to help me
out. Right. You go to the gym. You want to work out and you're focused at the gym.
But when you're with your family, you need to be focused with your family because
at That may be those times where you're not around a lot, so you have to make

(28:24):
sure that that time you are there is really focused on that.
You have to make them feel special when you're around. Yeah.
Totally agree. I wanted to get your thoughts on one other thing that we've talked
about a lot on the podcast, something that I've implemented in my family.
I don't know if you've done this in your family, but because I have four boys,
it's really easy to spend time with them collectively.

(28:47):
Collectively we can go to something collectively but i feel like there's such
a need to spend individual time so one thing
that i do is i i have a i call it a special night
but once a month i spend an individual time with each one of my kids just doing
something special for maybe it's like an hour you know so my my five-year-old
he really wants to go in the backyard and shoot bb guns so we'll go in the backyard

(29:10):
shoot bb guns and then he wants to do jujitsu moves so we'll do that a little
bit. My oldest son, he really wants to play Risk.
So we'll play Risk one evening or I'll watch him help him code one of his games
he's coding on the computer.
So taking time, at least just an hour, to spend individual time with your kids is so important.
I feel like to give that individual attention as opposed to just collective attention.

(29:34):
And when you have a lot of kids and you're giving collective attention,
you often just kind of give the most attention to the the one who's hitting
the most or whatever, or one who's the loudest.
So that's the way that I've found to kind of give that love intentionally to each of the kids.
I wanted to hear what your thoughts are about that or if that's something you've
heard about or done before.

(29:55):
Yeah, no, absolutely. I've done that. And I'll give you an example.
I have one event that I do with each one of my boys and I only do it once a
year, but it's, you know, kind of a big deal.
And my older son, it used to be, as he was growing up, it used to be magic mountain.
He loved magic mountains. So it was just me and him.
We would go spend the whole day at magic mountain, just the two of us doing that kind of stuff.

(30:16):
And then as he got older, it started to become more about sports and doing those kinds of things.
You know, I take him to the Patriots game or, you know, out here or when they
come out here and visit, or we go to a college basketball game or something like that.
So we do that. We're doing that every year.
My younger son, he is a diehard. It's because my wife's from Boston.
He's a diehard Red Sox fan.

(30:37):
Diehard. He watches their regular season games, and I think they're boring,
but he will watch every single game.
But every year they play the Angels out here in California.
And every year it's usually a three game or four game series.
We, me and him, we go to all games. We go to every single game.
And what we do is I, he and I go to the first one. We go out to dinner.

(31:01):
It's just the two of us. We watched the first game, the next game,
he goes with his brother. So the two of them go.
And then the last game, all four of us go. So two boys and my wife and I go,
and we do that every year without, we've done it for the last 15 years.
And it is a blast when the Red Sox played the Dodgers.
I i was when they when they played the dodgers in
the world series a few years back i've never been to

(31:24):
a world series game and i told my wife i
said it's going to cost us about 1800 bucks
for two tickets and i think i'm going to pull the trigger because this might
be a once in a lifetime opportunity for yeah our son to go and she was surprisingly
on board she's like you need to do it so we did i mean we they were nosebleeds

(31:44):
but they were right over home base nice and we had a
blast and it's something that we'll never forget.
Right. So yes, devoting individual times.
Yeah. Four is going to be a lot, you know, you've got to really,
you've got to schedule your time. Yeah. Schedule.
Yeah. Absolutely. Have to put it on your schedule. Two boys,
a little bit easier, but I am absolutely 100% in support of that.

(32:07):
I think traditions are important, right? Traditions like the baseball game or,
or, you know, kids look back and they say, Oh yeah, I remember we used to do
that. Or I remember we used to do that.
I think it's important to kind of form that types of traditions with your family.
Well, and they carry it on. They do carry it on. My boys, I mean,
I coached, like I said, I coached all their sports from age four,

(32:28):
all the way up through high school.
And both my boys now, when they have families, they want to coach their kids.
And that was just something that they were so used to and they want to do it
for their own families. So they just, they carry that kind of stuff on.
Yeah. And so, Brian, you've kind of told us about your kind of fatherhood and
some of your strategies before the podcast.

(32:49):
And then within the podcast, you've had the opportunity to talk with tons of
fathers and maybe even refine the craft a little bit more.
I'm sure that you've learned a lot of stuff along the way.
How has your experience with DadUp Podcast made you a a more efficient father.
Yeah. There's a lot of similarities to a lot of the, 90% of the dads that I

(33:12):
interview are great dads.
You get a couple that are just like, eh, but the ones that are really great,
there's a lot of similarities in what they have.
And that is, I noticed it. They had a lot of patience with their kids throughout
their whole lives. I did not, I was not that dad.
My, my dad, my parenting journey wasn't always that great.

(33:33):
I was, you know, I spent four years in the Marine Corps. I don't put up with BS.
It was the way I believed it. It was my way or the highway kind of attitude.
And there was times when my boys were little that I wasn't abusive,
but I'd lose my temper and I would get upset. And I was that dad.

(33:54):
And my wife would have to keep me in check. She'd be like, you need to step
away and let me handle this.
And so I had to learn that over time, but I've noticed a lot of dads have that
where they have this, this kind of this patience with their kids and their demeanor
and how they talk with their kids about different topics or issues that they might be going through.
And it's really cool to see that a lot of dads are, you know, are doing that.

(34:19):
And I mean, it's, yeah, I mean, it's trying to think there was an example I
was going to give you. And now it just like flew out the side of my head, but it's, it's.
Yeah. I mean, it's tough, but yeah, I have a thought. It'll come back to me.
No, no, it'll come back to you. Patience. No, I think that's great.
Just kind of, you've seen a lot of that patience as you've kind of been talking

(34:41):
with a lot of fathers and exploring more.
That's important to me. Yeah. One thing that, and I do remember the two things
that I want to tell you. Yeah, go ahead. It just popped up when you said that.
I had one guest on my show that he
said he made a comment to me and it was something that I've never heard.
And it was something you guys have probably heard it by now,
but I talk about it a lot now, is that kids spell love T-I-M-E.

(35:04):
And I hadn't heard that ever before. And this was a couple of years back,
but he made that comment to me and I'm like, bing.
I'm like, that is a phenomenal statement.
I've never heard it and I stole it from him and I use it all the time.
I had another guy on my show that said, parents come into this parenting journey,

(35:25):
not really knowing how to be parents, right? No one teaches us how to be a parent.
So when you're a parent, when you're in school as a child, right,
you get the lesson and then you get the test, right?
But when you're a parent, you get the test and then you learn the lesson,
right? So it's those kind of roles are reversed.
So those are two statements that have stuck with me for the last three or four

(35:49):
years that I've heard dad say, and it's pretty remarkable. Yeah.
I think that I like the first one you talked about.
That's like the kids spell love time because that's and that's why I try to
spend that individual time because I feel like they really feel it the most
when I'm individually spending that time with them.
The second one you mentioned, I've heard that anecdote before where it's like,

(36:12):
hey, there's no manual for parenthood, that kind of thing. I'm doing the best I can.
Personally, I feel like that is a little bit, I don't know, I feel like that's
a little bit of something that a parent would say who doesn't really care that much about parenting.
It's a cop-out. It's a cop-out, yeah. So someone who listens to your podcast,

(36:35):
someone who listens to our podcast, someone who's reading a book about fatherhood,
someone who's seeking these things
out, they're seeking out the lessons to learn how to be a good father.
They're not just like, well, I guess I'll learn one day.
So I think that when they say like, well, there's no manual for raising kids.
Yeah, but there's tons of people out there that are giving great advice.

(36:56):
There's tons of podcasters, there's books, there's psychiatrists or parental
coaches and all kinds of things. And all you have to do is- But that's what's changing now.
Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying over the last five, 10 years.
That's what's been changing. Yes. Yeah.
I agree with that, yeah. When it comes to the parenting manual,
I think there is a parenting manual out there. And I use this example.

(37:19):
Exactly. Not a lot of people like to hear me say it.
We have a parenting manual that everybody gets when they become a parent, and that's the Bible.
If you follow the things that the Bible preaches, that will help you become
a parent because the Bible talks about us following what our father teaches
us, how to be as people as we go through life.

(37:40):
And that kind of goes along the same lines as a parent. So I believe that the
Bible is that first parenting manual.
It's just people don't read it. yeah and i
think what kind of what you're saying too jared is that you
know yeah you can read all the books and stuff like that as well but
a lot of times with kids and what i've noticed is that sometimes
things come so fast that it's like you don't know what you don't know like sometimes

(38:02):
it comes you know like situations come up and you're like i don't even know
like you know my son will do something i'm just like i don't even know how to
react to that like i didn't right i didn't read Read that or hear about that on the podcast.
Like, you know, I got a call from the... You know, when my son was eight years
old, I got a call from the principal.

(38:22):
Your son pulled his pants down on the bus. It's like...
Okay. What do I do?
He's eight, bro. Yeah. It's like, what do I do about that?
If he's 16, that's a different story. Yeah. And so, yeah, that was the first
time I had to kind of react to that situation and kind of dig into the repertoire

(38:43):
of like, okay, well, do I go with this angry and stern and don't do that?
You know this? Or do I kind of go in more investigative and be like,
well, why did did you do that you know or do i just go
in loving and teaching and say hey you know that's not appropriate that's not
something we do and so there are some situations where you can't
really plan for them you just kind of you do take the test after the yeah oh

(39:06):
yeah absolutely you know you or you take the learning after you the test because
there's been a lot of times i look back and i've been like i shouldn't have
done it that way yeah there's there's a better way to do it but but i think
it's a mixture of both is definitely good i think approaching them with anger
is not I mean, it's just my opinion.
It's not the right approach because they know they messed up and they're getting
scolded not only by the principal.
Now they got to come to mom and dad and be scolded by them as well.

(39:31):
I mean, listen, you guys are going to make mistakes.
I still make mistakes to this day. I had, I had a little bit of an argument
with one of my sons over the weekend.
He was being just obnoxious. And I was like, dude, what in the world?
And he didn't like me just asking him like, what in the world's going on with you?
And he got started getting obnoxious again. And it was just like, that happens.
You know, we have those, those times and that's okay.

(39:52):
That's going to happen. We're not going to get through this parenting journey perfectly.
So yeah, I think, you know, in that situation, I'd have been like, dude, he's eight.
I'll talk to him. Relax, man. I mean, it's, I understand he's,
he's wrong. I understand it's not appropriate.
I get all that. I don't want them going down the wrong path,
but I will talk to him and I'll get it handled.
But here's the problem that's going on with society today, especially parents

(40:16):
with kids that are in school, is parents are coming to their kid's rescue too much.
There are too many times when kids are not taught to take responsibility for
the things that they're doing or not doing, right?
And you have parents that step in and a kid will get a demerit because he didn't

(40:39):
turn in his homework or because he pushed Billy on the playground or because
he was fighting and took a ball
away from somebody. He'll get a demerit or whatever they call them now.
And a parent will go, well, my son told me it didn't happen like that and he would never lie to me.
Okay your kid will never lie to you all right you can go ahead
and continue to believe that but you have too many parents that
just try to step in and rescue their kids

(41:01):
and that's completely the wrong approach you're setting them up
for failure because when life does hit them on the chin guess what they can't
come to mom and dad they're asked i shouldn't say that their butt's gonna get
fired you know if they do something at work you know and it's there's no mom
and dad coming to coming to help you yeah i had a situation when my son sold
his car he had a brand new Camaro, had it for like three years.

(41:23):
He's like, it's time to let it go. He wanted to buy a Tesla.
And he said, I got to sell this car. He took it to the dealership, sold it.
And it took them like two months to send him his equity check that he made from the car.
And he had been calling them and the guy was like ignoring his calls.
And then he would call him. And I'm like, I wanted to step in and go,

(41:44):
do you want me to handle it? Because I will.
And he's like, no dad, I, I, he's 25, right? Yeah.
No dad, I'll handle it. I'm like, okay, but it's your money.
It's like seven grand that he was waiting on. I do that. That's your money.
I don't want you to get taken advantage of. I would be more than happy to call
the guy. I could get a hold of the general manager.
I'll get a hold of the owner of the dealership. I'll be happy to step in. Yeah.
Yeah. But those situations I think are a little bit different because he didn't,

(42:07):
he's never handled that situation before. And that was a lot of money.
Right. Yeah. But too many parents are stepping in and not letting their kid take responsibility.
My kids always took responsible like oh dad
i got in trouble this teacher said this he they they
grounded me they grounded me they put me on the on the playground wall
for okay what did you do well i did this well
don't do that yeah i mean own it dude

(42:29):
you're on the wall for the next week i mean it is what it is you'll learn this
lesson don't do it again yeah i think there's a dichotomy of what you just mentioned
over protective parents helicopter parenting absolutely i think the other side
of the other side of the extreme is like, there's a lot of parents that just don't even care.
I remember when my kids went through this COVID thing, when we went to remote

(42:51):
learning, some of the kids in his class and their classes just totally dropped
off the map, never logged into anything, never saw them again.
And then he's seen them in subsequent years, but they're seriously behind.
So there's a huge problem, I think, especially with the inner cities where you
just don't have no parental involvement at all.

(43:12):
They're just like, Like, well, let's let the state raise my kid or let the teachers raise the kid.
And what happens to those kids? They find other avenues to support them, right?
If you're not stepping in as a parent and really providing the guidance and
the structure and the love and the attention that they need,
they're going to go seek it somewhere else.
It could be little Susie meeting up with this, you know, a guy that's five years older than her.

(43:36):
It could be somebody that's finding meeting somebody online,
thinking that they're talking to somebody and they're really not a predator
talking to a predator or a gang.
It could be the local gang that lures your kid in. And now he's part of the gang. It could be drugs.
It could be alcohol. I mean, all those different things happen if you're not engaged with your kid.

(43:57):
My wife's a school teacher. She's been a school teacher for almost 20 years. She sees it all the time.
And yeah, I mean, and as a basketball coach, I can tell you there were kids
on my teams. I coached thousands of kids.
There were kids on my team of parents that I have never met, never met.
And it just hurt me because I knew those players are out there,
like little billies out there, giving it his all on the basketball court,

(44:20):
never met his parents. They don't come to any of the games.
They don't come into the practices and he's out there giving it his all playing great.
Yeah. And all he wants to do is look up in the stands and see his parents smiling or cheering for him.
And he can't even do that because they're not there.
Yeah. I mean, imagine the effect on that. So he's got to seek that other elsewhere. Yeah.

(44:40):
No, you're absolutely right. Yeah. Well, when you allow your,
the institution to raise your kids, then they will be in the institutionalized
potentially in the future.
Yeah. I mean, there's exceptions to every rule, but statistics show that it
kind of leans towards the other way. Yeah.
Well, as we kind of lead up to the end here, I wanted to ask just a couple more questions.

(45:02):
What is, and this could be maybe from somebody that you've interviewed or from
your own experiences, but what is some of the best, maybe we've already talked
about it, but some of the best fatherhood advice that you've ever received?
Believed? Everybody that I talk to talks about intentionality, right?
We have to make sure that we're being totally intentional with our kids.

(45:23):
And that means you, one of you had mentioned it earlier about putting the phone down.
You have to be very intentional with your kids. And I mentioned it to you,
Jared, about scheduling your time, right?
Scheduling your time with kids. My wife and I sit down every Sunday evening
and we map out what our schedule looks like.
And when our boys were playing, playing sports, they were, I mean,
they were playing far enough in age that they had two different teams that they were playing on, right?

(45:47):
Now I was the coach, so I could kind of back their practices up.
You have to be able to schedule that time. If that's not on your schedule,
spending time with your kids, intentional time with your kids is not on your
schedule, more than likely it's going to get missed.
Because if you don't have, I mean, it's right. I mean, something comes up,
you get completely distracted and you know, you had to had plans.

(46:10):
You're going to spend time with your son on Wednesday, but now I've got to take
care of this. And I didn't even put it on the schedule. So I completely forgot about it.
But if it's on your schedule, it should be, it should be a non-negotiable.
If it's on your schedule, it's a non-negotiable unless some emergency happens.
It's a non-negotiable. So one of the common things that I hear from a lot of
parents is you have to have those non-negotiable things that are set.

(46:34):
You take your kids out, you spend time with each one of them individually every month.
That's a non-negotiable for you. It does not matter what happens in your life.
That is something that you're going to continue to do. That should be on your
schedule every single week, period.
And that's one of the most common things is those non-negotiables.
No, yeah. And I loved what you said about being intentional.

(46:56):
And that's exactly what I was referring to earlier when I was just talking about
people who seek out our podcasts, people who read resources,
they're being intentional.
And I think that they're reading that lesson manual for fatherhood or for parenthood.
And I think that's what makes a good parent is just that intentionality of trying

(47:17):
to go out and seek out. How do I become a better father?
I'm going to go try to find out. I absolutely agree with that.
Well, let me flip that question.
What's one of these fatherhood advices that you've heard where you're like,
oh man, that's bad advice?
Anything out there that you've heard, you're like, oh, yeah,
I wouldn't say that or disagree with that wholeheartedly?

(47:39):
Most of the dads are very careful with what they say because they're on a podcast about parity, right?
So there might be some fabrications or, you know, so there might be like embellishing
a little bit on some of their stories that they might be telling, but gosh, gosh.
It doesn't have to be on a podcast or just like out there that you,
something that you've heard, I don't know, or something that,

(48:01):
that fathers do that. You're like, Hey, stop doing that.
Yeah. Well, I can tell you one thing right now that comes to my mind when I
think about it. It's not necessarily on a podcast, but it's something that I
experienced watching other dads do.
And it was something that we talked about earlier about them being so focused
on their business and making money and have to be the provider for the family
that they aren't ever around.
And the excuse that I used to hear is, Brian, you can make so much more money

(48:26):
than what you're doing right now if you just did X, Y, and Z.
And guess what? You do that, you're going to retire. You can retire by the age
of 40, and then you can spend all that time with your family.
I'm like, my kids are grown then. What are you talking about?
Now I've missed their whole childhood.
I've seen dads that have missed birthday parties because they wanted to go on

(48:50):
a business call or they wanted to go to a business meeting.
Missing birthday parties. It just boggles my mind that that's your mentality.
I would rather do without. I would rather get paid a lot less and have my quality
of my time with my family than focus on money and that be my main focus and

(49:11):
I'll see my kids when they're 18.
I mean, it's just ridiculous. Some priorities.
Yeah. I mean, some things like that might happen, right? I've had situations
where things like that have happened if I'm on a business trip and I might miss
something here or there.
But yeah, I think it's, it's intention being intentional and making sure that
your priorities are, are in line for sure.

(49:33):
I'm not here to, I'm not here to knock on parents that have,
you know, that, that can't make everything. I get it. That happens.
I mean, I understand it's life, right? But you have to make sure that the times
that you do have with them, they're 100% focused on them. You got to make your kid feel special.
You got to make your kid feel loved. You got to make your kid feel like you are.
Their guide, their role model, their hero.

(49:56):
I mean, think how many kids have heroes or role models that are not even their parents, right?
I want to be like Michael Jordan or, you know, at the time it was Kobe Bryant
or, you know, all these guys.
And it's like, I want my boys, I want my boys to see me as a hero.
I want my boys to look up to me as a hero and want to be a role model based
on what I did for them and what I showed them.

(50:18):
And yeah, so I I get it. Yeah.
Yeah, I totally agree with what you just said. I think it's so important.
I want to ask you a little bit more about just that last part that you said,
you talked about being a role model.
I think that in some cases, and I know that you're a marathon runner,
or at least you run from what I can see from your Instagram.
So you are someone who is striving to achieve personal achievements.

(50:40):
I was wondering if you could just speak with us for maybe just a minute about
the pursuit of personal achievements while also pursuing the achievements of your kids.
How much do you do on either side?
I mean, if you're like, oh, I got to do this Ironman and you're training all
the time, maybe you don't have time to go to your kids' basketball games and to their soccer games.

(51:04):
So what do you think that balances between striking saying, hey,
kids, It's, look, your dad can do
it, and I'm being a role model versus supporting them in what they can do.
Yeah. Well, I'll give you a little secret. There's no such thing as balance.
When people talk about, oh, work-life balance, there's absolutely no such thing because here's why.

(51:28):
If you're focused on work, you're not balancing life right now.
You're not balancing family time because your focus is there.
There's no way they can be equal.
There's no way because you'd be having to do both at the same time for it to be equal, right?
So that's my big, I truly believe So when it comes to me, yes,
I've ran a number of marathons. I'm training right now. I've got three more marathons this year.

(51:53):
And the reason I do that is I take care of myself, my health.
I take care of me mentally. I do a lot of meditation.
I do those things for me, but also for my family so I can become a better person for them.
I'm always looking to be just a little bit better each day.

(52:15):
And when it comes to my running, yeah, it's tough. I've got to devote a lot of time to running.
So I'm up at four 30 in the morning or four o'clock in the morning and going
for a run when, when everybody's still asleep.
That's what I used to do when I was coaching their sports and I had a,
you know, working in corporate America and I had this eight to five job,
I went to my boss and said, listen, I've got coaching coming up here. This is the schedule.

(52:40):
And I'm going to be here for the company. I'm going to do what I need to do,
but I'm going to have to leave at like two o'clock on these days.
And I always had situations where my boss would be like, no problem.
I know you do your work. You're all good. Just do what you need to do.
But if they had told me, nope, absolutely not. You need to be here.
We need you here until five o'clock, maybe even six o'clock.
I'm sorry. You just can't coach. I'd have been like, all right, then I'm out.

(53:04):
I would have left. I would have been, that's it. And I had to,
I had to sacrifice other areas.
And for me, it was sleep, but I used to get up at four o'clock in the morning
and go into my office at my job, into my office, because I knew I had to leave
at one or one or two o'clock in the afternoon to, to get to, to go coach a game.

(53:24):
So I would get in, get up and get in the office at four o'clock.
And that way I'm devoting a hundred percent of my time to my job.
They're not getting anything less out of me.
And then when two o'clock hits, now my family's getting a hundred percent of my time with them.
So it's just all about the little sacrifices that you have to make.
We, we, we just got back from a trip in Arizona and I had to do two runs on those trips.

(53:45):
And the first run I did was on Saturday. It was a little seven miler that I had to do.
And I told my wife, Hey, you know, my boy, my one son was at his house sleeping.
My younger son, he was still out.
I said, Hey, this will take me an hour, a couple hours, one and a half hours, something like that.
I'll be back in plenty of time for us to go to breakfast and do the things.
She's like, go, just go do it.
Yesterday, today I got up super early before they were even up and went down

(54:10):
and jumped on the treadmill and ran four miles on the treadmill.
So then when I came back to the room, they were awake and I showered and we left.
I mean, they, those kinds of things where I'm like not taking away from them,
but it's important for dads to understand you have to make time for yourself.
You have to, because if your cup, I talked about it earlier,
if your cup is not full, there's absolutely no way that you can be all in 100%

(54:33):
and give everything you've got to your kids. You're going to be exhausted.
You're going to be worn out if you do not take care of your own health.
Yeah. Yeah. Totally agree. I think that many ways, it's like,
I feel like my dad raised me and he wants me to achieve things in my life.
And so if I'm at the prime of my life and I'm like, well, I can't achieve anything

(54:55):
because I have to teach my kids to do stuff.
That doesn't make any sense it's like my dad
wants me to achieve and i want to achieve and things and
i think it's important for me to model that to my kids that it's not just about
teaching that next generation which is important but it's also about achieving
things that you want in your own life and so your kids can say hey i remember
when my dad did this that and the other and it took courage for him to do this

(55:18):
or that and hopefully you can bring your kids along the way which is you know You know,
something that, that's why, one reason why I like jiu-jitsu is because I can
do it and I can do it with them.
And we can all go to a tournament and I can watch them go and I can coach them
and then they can watch me go.
And so it's kind of like a unique thing where everybody can do it.
Unlike a soccer team or whatever, you know, most adults don't play,

(55:41):
you know, professional soccer, like in a league or anything like that.
So it's kind of a cool thing that we've kind of found and settled on that is
a great way for all of us to kind of see that accomplishment of each other.
And I think that that is a, one of the reasons why I used to coach or why I
coach their sports, because I have to take them to practice.

(56:04):
I've got to, I'm going to take them to the games because I'm going to watch
the games. Why not get involved?
And yeah, I just, I remember my older son was signing up.
I went to sign him up for Little League, had no intention on coaching,
sign him up for Little League. I've never coached in my life.
And the guy says, Hey, you want to coach?
And I go, nah, man, I want to coach. I'm good. I just want to watch my boy.

(56:27):
And he goes, Oh, we need coaches. You don't have to be the head coach if you
don't want to, but you can be an assistant coach just to help them out.
I'm like, dude, I don't know anything about coaching.
And he looks at me and he goes, bro, they're four.
They're going to play with grass. So you need to just go and just teach them
how to run a base and catch a ball. That's it. You're going to, you're going to be fine.
And so I ended up not being the assistant coach. I Dana being the head coach,

(56:47):
and I never looked back. I was the head coach forever.
And yeah, I get to be there and participate with them. But now this gives us
an opportunity as father and son to kind of hang out together.
And we got to do these things together. Yeah, for sure.
Well, I love it. The last question, Brian, that we always ask to our guests
here on the podcast is about your personal creed.

(57:10):
So a creed is a set of beliefs or principles principles that guide your actions in life.
And that's kind of what our whole podcast is based off of, right?
A brother's creed, Jared and I trying to build our own personal creeds so that
we can help our children to just kind of grow and be the best thems that they

(57:32):
can be as we are trying to be the best us that we can be.
So I was wondering, you know, sometimes a creed is maybe a scripture or a quote
or a topic or something, but I was wondering if you could share even just a
little piece of your personal creed with us.
Yeah, it's not, it probably should be a scripture. It's not a scripture,
but it's something that I have, I have heard over the years for such a long time.

(57:56):
And it's something that I try to live by every single day.
But my goal as a dad, as a husband, as a human being, as a follower of Jesus,
my goal is just to get 1% better every day. That's it.
That's all I need to do. I know that if I'm getting 1% better every day,
can you imagine where I'll be a year from now?

(58:18):
That's the kind of mentality that I play with. I have to make sure that I'm
a little bit better than I was yesterday.
And so I focus on that a lot. And there are days that I mess up and I own it.
I did miss this. I didn't do this. I've got to fix that.
So tomorrow, I've got to make sure I'm better than I was today because I took a step back.

(58:41):
And so I constantly focus on being 1% better every day, because that's not a whole lot.
That's not a whole lot. And over a course of a year, over a course of five years,
if I'm really focused on that, imagine if people were really focused on it,
imagine where their life would be.
Just getting 1% better every day. Thousands of percent better.
A whole new person. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right.

(59:03):
No, that's great. And you talked about that over the lifetime of being a father,
you've become a much better father than you were when you were much younger.
And people have said to you, hey, you're a great dad. You should continue this.
And so you've created the podcast and you've continued that legacy of being
a good, caring, loving father to others, which I think is great.
So thank you so much. Yeah.

(59:24):
So for our listeners out there, Brian, where can they find you?
Well, the best place is Instagram, Datapodcast. They can find me there.
I respond to all my DMs, unless you're going to send me a weird DM,
then I'm not going to respond to you.
But all my DMs, I respond to commenting on the posts and stuff.

(59:44):
I always respond to people.
I believe in that connection. I believe in that networking.
So that's the main place. I'm on Facebook. I'm on LinkedIn.
I'm on TikTok. I'm on all those other places, but Instagram's my main spot.
And then I have my YouTube channel that posts all my podcast episodes.
But yeah, I mean, if you want to reach out to me, I have a gal that handles all my email stuff.

(01:00:07):
She takes care of all that backend stuff where I don't have to focus on it.
I have an editor that takes care of all my editing and stuff.
So all I have to do is when I do a podcast, I just send him the clips and he
just does everything for me. So it saves me some time.
It costs me a little bit of money, but I I think my time is much more valuable
than the cost of what I'm paying them.

(01:00:28):
So, but yeah, my email, I mean, you guys, I think you guys know it.
DatupTribe at Gmail. See, I don't even remember. Yeah, no, we'll put it in the show notes. Yeah.
Yeah, DatupTribe at Gmail. If you have questions, but DMs, if you send me a DM, I look at all those.
I always look at DMs. So if you have a question, want to know something.
Need anything, I'm always there.

(01:00:49):
And I know your podcast is at least on Apple, Apple Podcasts.
I'm assuming it's on Spotify and other platforms. Everywhere.
IHeart, Amazon, Spotify, Apple.
It's everywhere. Nice. Okay. You just go on the internet and you type in Brian Ward or Dad Up.
Brian, it'll pop up. Excellent. It's there.

(01:01:12):
No, hey, we love it. And we appreciate you coming on today, Brian, to chat with us.
I just love hearing from another dad who's focused on the same things that we're focused on.
And sometimes I have ideas in my head about things I'm thinking about,
things I'm doing. And I was loving just bouncing some of those ideas off of you.
And it's great to talk to someone else who's in the same mode that I'm in and

(01:01:35):
to really see maybe if you have an enhanced idea of what I'm doing,
or if you think what I'm doing is good, but it could use this or that.
And so I think you've given some great, some validation for some of the stuff
that I'm doing today, but also some great ideas on things that I could do new.
So appreciate that. Yeah.
Well, thank you guys. yeah yeah awesome well to
all of our listeners out there we always end with

(01:01:58):
the charge and we want to you to know that this is a journey that all of us
are on together jared and i and brian we're all trying to to dad up right we're
all trying to to be the best that we can so you know to all of our listeners
out there let's build that creed together thank you brian for coming on let's
do it thanks thanks guys i appreciate it you guys rock.

(01:02:20):
Music.

All Episodes

#181-Dad Up - Interview with Bryan Ward

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club

Dateline NBC

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#181-Dad Up - Interview with Bryan Ward