April 14, 2025 • 30 mins
Have you ever set an ambitious goal only to fall completely short? In this heartfelt season premiere, I'm taking a different approach by sharing both my triumphs and failures from the past year. From the exhilaration of recording my Storm album live with a full band and string quartet to the quiet joy of watching my 77-year-old mother courageously complete her cancer treatments, life has offered much to celebrate.
But what about those ambitious songwriting goals I set? Despite promising myself to write eight songs monthly, I finished exactly zero. This failure led me to a fascinating discovery about Finland's International Day for Failure—a celebration of setbacks as essential steps toward success. Through examining my creative disappointments and financial risks that haven't yet paid off, I've uncovered valuable lessons about my natural rhythms, the importance of strategic decision-making, and the freedom that comes with simplifying.
The podcast landscape is shifting this season. While I'll continue featuring inspiring guests, I'm creating more space for personal reflections, songwriting insights, and those quiet thoughts that visit during early mornings or late-night ceiling-staring sessions. I'm also inviting you deeper into this conversation—call the Heartbeat Hotline (1-902-669-4769) with questions, topic suggestions, or just to say hello. Remember when people used to call each other spontaneously? Let's bring that back.
Success, I've learned, isn't measured by constant busyness but by what truly matters: healthy relationships, exciting projects, financial stability, and creative fulfillment. As we move forward together in Season 4, I'm embracing "less is more" and finding that hard work coupled with self-forgiveness creates the perfect foundation for authentic growth. Join me on this journey of connection, creativity, and courage—whether you're stuck in the middle of your muck or celebrating on the other side of your fears.
Send Christina a comment, question, or review!
Got a question for Christina? Call her Heartbeat Hotline in Canada: 1-902-669-4769
Explore Christina's music, videos and tour dates at christinamartin.net
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Christina (00:02):
Hey, you're listening to A Chat with Heart.
I'm your host, christina Martin.
I'm a singer-songwriter,curious human.
I live on a dirt road in ruralNova Scotia with my partner in
crime, dale, and our calico cat,olivia.
This podcast is basically justme chatting with people I admire
.
I like to ask questions thatfeed my curiosity, and my guests
(00:25):
have all taught me something.
They either crack me up or theypunch me right in the feels.
If you've got questions,comments or a burning desire to
join the conversation, pleasecall my heartbeat hotline, day
or night.
It's 1-902-669-4769.
You can also email me atchristinamartinmusic at gmailcom
(00:47):
, and if you want to throw alittle love my way and help keep
this thing going, visit myPatreon page.
That's how artists like me getpaid.
Thanks for showing up Warningheartfelt content ahead.
If we just talk about it, wecould shut it in.
(01:15):
We could break a dark day.
Hey friends, welcome to seasonfour of a chat with heart
podcast.
It's just me today, no guest,just you and me hanging out.
I wanted to ease into this newseason a little differently.
(01:39):
I'm still going to haveincredible guests, people who
are inspiring, cool, lovely,even titillating, but I'm also
thinking I'd like to spend moretime just sharing me with you
Maybe bits of my lifesongwriting, my experiences as
(02:02):
an entrepreneur songwriting myexperiences as an entrepreneur
specifically in my little musicbiz, and the stuff I think about
in those quiet early morningsalone or my late night
layarounds when I'm staring atthe ceiling and I can't fall
asleep and listen.
I really want you to feelcomfortable reaching out to me,
(02:27):
which will only shape thispodcast and make it stronger.
So don't be shy or be yourselfwhatever.
Call the Heartbeat Hotline.
It's not just a gimmick.
I swear I won't answer, but youcan leave a message.
You can call or text thatnumber.
It's in the show notes and it'sat the top of the beginning and
(02:49):
the end of every episode of achat with her podcast.
And so, yeah, just leave me amessage.
You can ask me a question aboutanything, suggest a topic for
the podcast or just say hi.
Seriously, I miss the days likewhen people would just call you
, you know, like they weren'ttexting to make a plan to call.
It wasn't on the calendar.
You just phone somebody, um,and and do leave a message for
(03:14):
the sake of connection.
I think that weirds people outlike people are shy about that.
I love leaving voice notes forany of my close friends
listening, they would know.
Um, it's one of my favoritethings too.
I don't like texting like I dotext, but I don't love it.
I don't like it, but I loveleaving voice messages and I do
(03:36):
like cold calling people like wedid in the good old days.
If you're listening from outsidethe country I, canada and you
don't want to rack up charges onyour phone, you can always just
email me instead, a voice noteor an email message,
christinamartinmusic at gmailcom.
If you really have time on yourhands, I do have some pen pals.
(03:58):
So if you want my mailingaddress, email me and we can
start that kind ofcorrespondence.
Mailing address, email me andwe can start that kind of
correspondence.
Anyway, unless it's like wildlyinappropriate, like in your
voice message or your email andhonestly I'm kind of into that
weird stuff I will read it on afuture episode you can ask me
(04:22):
anything like life, love, loss.
We could talk about depression,daily routines, relationships,
house sitting, being a nanny,singing, songwriting, the music
biz, making music videos,putting on shows, coffee talk,
(04:44):
coffee talk.
Or you can even ask me aboutthis new wholesome hobby that
Dale and I have stumbled intodiamond art.
Don't knock it till you try it.
Folks, I'm curious to hearabout your hobbies.
Okay, so here we are, season 4.
There's no real.
(05:05):
I was thinking.
Thinking is it?
Like you know, a lot ofpodcasts are very specific.
This, I think, the specificityof my podcast is it's a chat
with heart.
I'm interested in trying to,you know, always be as myself as
I can be, which is is hardsometimes, particularly if I'm
(05:27):
talking to people I don't knowsuper well but I'm really
curious about.
So, like that's a challenge forme, and I love asking people
about pivotal experiences intheir work or their life that
have shaped their path, and andI talk about a lot of those that
have happened to me as well.
So, if anything, it's all aboutauthenticity and a chill chat
(05:52):
with heart and pivotalexperiences that have helped
shape us.
Yeah, but for this episode Ithought of well, I thought I'd
kind of just do a little bit ofa catch-up, and I have shared a
lot of wins this past year in mypersonal and professional life.
(06:14):
All the love and the projectsand the music.
You've probably seen it all oneither my socials or my Patreon
page or we've chatted a bitabout it in previous episodes.
But I want to, I want to reviewthe wins because it's, this is
what I.
I do do that every year as akind of reminder, because if I
(06:36):
don't, I honestly get.
I just feel like I'm not doneenough or I've not accomplished
anything and and that's I don'tknow.
It's not really a great feeling.
I think it is important.
I don't want to, like this onegoes out to my friend Hannah, if
she ever listens to this.
I don't want to rest on mylaurels I don't, actually I
(06:59):
never do Because there's as soonas you kind of hit a mark and
you've done that thing for me,like I quickly go into oh my God
, I'm not doing anything, I'mnot doing enough.
So anyway, I want to go over itbecause I do want to celebrate
briefly with you and because you, my Little Heartbeat listeners,
(07:20):
a lot of you have been a bigpart of the wins.
Heartbeat listeners, a lot ofyou have been a big part of the
wins, and so the biggest one, Ithink last year, uh, was that
not just me alone, but I workedwith a real wonderful crew of
people, um, to put on this grandperformance in in Dartmouth,
nova Scotia, at Alderney LandingTheater, and we recorded uh, my
(07:41):
storm album live and we filmedit and now that is available.
When you buy the digital albumon my band camp, I will email
you the private link to watchthe whole performance, and that
was a huge undertaking.
Another win was Dale and Iadopted a kitten.
We named her Olivia.
(08:04):
We got her very young, so westarted training her with like a
harness and and it sounds likewe're treating her like a horse,
but like we, we got her used towearing a harness so that we
could, like take her on thetrails with us and you know she
has like a backpack that we willtake.
We would take her on hikes andand she would just fall asleep
(08:25):
in it and she's as a result.
A big win is that she's verygood at traveling, she loves it
and she's good around otheranimals.
These are in no superparticular order because if they
were, I should have listed thisone as my number one.
But my mom has nearly done hercancer treatments.
(08:46):
She was diagnosed with breastcancer last January and one year
later she did all thesesurgeries and lymph nodes
removed, breast removed, youknow chemo, radiation, all of it
.
She's 77 now I think she justturned 77.
And she's doing great.
She's 77 now I think she justturned 77 and she's doing great.
(09:08):
She's incredible.
She's never complained and it'sbeen one of my honors, my big
life honors to be around and andbe with her, to witness her
strength, and I, you know, Ihope she never has to go through
(09:31):
something quite like that again, but I know we'll have things
we have to go through again andI feel like we're stronger for
it.
So way to go, mom, and that'sit.
That was a win.
Another big win was I was ableto kick this really bad habit I
(09:51):
had.
I shouldn't say kick itcompletely, but I, for many,
many, many years, I just, I justreally would easily, as soon as
I had space in my day or myschedule, I would just fill it
right back.
You know this kind of had, thisfear of if I'm not busy, if I'm
not doing, if I'm not takingall the gigs, no matter how
(10:15):
soul-sucking some of them mightbe, um, I, just I, I would make
sure to fill the calendar.
And I've been working hard todo the complete opposite, to
only say yes to things based onthe fact that they really, you
know, fuel me, either bringimmense joy, there's a financial
bonus to it as well.
(10:37):
I mean because money to memeans I can have the freedom to
stay healthy a little easier, Ican pay my bills, and it's a
mental health thing really, andit's something I don't want to
be ashamed to say that I likemaking money, I mean.
I think that's what it is forall of us.
I'm not.
We did last year, though Iplayed less every show we did
(11:09):
was amazing fun.
I'm talking about shows likeBlueberry Jam and Mabu.
I'm talking about the big shinytunes at the Marquee Ballroom.
I'm talking about the stormlive at Alderney Landing Theatre
and playing with my band atGranville Green in Port
Hawkesbury and I'm sure therewere others.
There were house concerts,there was a tour in the UK and
(11:31):
actually we recorded a live atthe Green Note in London.
So I'm just about to launchthat very, very soon.
Stay tuned.
If you follow me on Patreon,you'll find out where the big
launch will be online so you canparticipate.
But that show is just Dale andI.
The storm at Alderney Landingshow was the full band and a
(11:52):
string quartet and a bespokevisual and lighting component as
well.
But there's something Dale andI don't actually have a show of
us for viewers, like a full showyet, and I really love what we
got.
So, so that's um, that's comingout soon too, and as well as
(12:16):
other things, I'm sure.
Okay, now we're gonna shift.
We're gonna shift to um.
Well, I think we don't alwaysshare openly which is our
failures.
And did you know that Finlandhas an International Day for
Failure?
Yeah, it's on October 13th.
(12:37):
It was started by students atAalto University, if I'm saying
that right in 2010.
And the idea is to celebratethe failures as a step towards
success, and I can totally getbehind this.
And also the goal, I suppose,is to reduce, like, the shame
(12:59):
and around failure and encouragepeople to take risks and be
okay with screwing up and tolearn, and then to share that.
So here are two questions Iinvite you to sit with monthly,
yearly or whenever I did it forlast year.
I'm about to share that withyou.
(13:19):
But the two questions are howhave you failed?
Ask yourself how I've failedand ask yourself what have I
learned from it?
Okay, so I'll go first Um, I'msure there are other things, but
I'm just naming the moreobvious things that came to my
mind.
So, how have I failed?
(13:40):
Um, okay.
So at the start of 2024, I um, Imade a promise to myself to
write.
Like I got really specific withthis goal eight songs a month,
which is a very lofty goal, veryambitious, very Virgo of me,
though I'm a Gemini, but youknow what?
(14:01):
I don't think I finished asingle song last year, okay.
So what did I learn from that?
What did I learn from that?
Because that can be crushing.
Like you set up a goal foryourself and or multiple goals,
and then, and then you feel likecrap because you didn't achieve
(14:21):
any of them.
And you know what?
My most of my life as a singer,songwriter, I have really
struggled with that feeling of,okay, I'm not doing enough of
this or that and I do want tochange that.
Ultimately, songwriting is oneof my biggest life joys and it
(14:42):
fuels everything else I do.
It fuels connection, healinggrowth.
Else I do, it feels connection,healing growth.
So you know, I've thought a lotabout it and I mean, well, why
haven't I done more of this?
And I'll share a little bitabout why that.
What I learned from thinkingabout that in a bit.
But in any case, what I learnedwas, first of all, I do think
(15:04):
it's okay not to do the thingyou set out to do?
Period.
I do think it's okay not to dothe thing you set out to do
period.
Like, I learned that eightsongs a month is just not how my
creativity works, at leastright now.
My, I guess, naturalprogression seems to be that I
(15:26):
chip away at ideas, I collectphrases, I hum ideas into my
phone, but I never force output.
It just doesn't light me up, itdoesn't.
You know, I've never workedwell in that fashion.
I also learned that, eventhough I love routine and I do
(15:46):
have, you know, routine to myday I share lots of them on the
podcast I have in the past Ifall into this pattern where I
work really hard and then Icrash and I hardly work and that
swing can mess with my mentalhealth.
So I'm thinking more about thatand trying to learn from it.
(16:11):
And maybe it's just that, like,what I'm trying to do now is
like work hard but like at acertain time, like step off,
like go chill.
Okay, save it for tomorrow.
Okay, save it for tomorrow,save your um, I understand this
need to, you know like follow anidea to the end, like get as
(16:35):
much out as you can, but, like,I guess, be, you know, being
more aware of my energy leveland like, um, even my body.
It's hurting my body to sit inthis position and, like you know
, bust my ass Like am I gettingenough sleep?
Like, for me, like, having ahealthy routine with eating and
(16:57):
sleeping affects everything.
So, like, having like set timesto do work, to do creative work
, that's something I'm messingaround with right now.
My mornings are for creativity.
I'm setting.
This goes back to like how do Ibreak these nasty habits of not
doing writing any songs?
I'm putting it on the calendar.
(17:18):
I'm making dates with friendsto co-write and showing up.
We're both showing up.
I'm treating it kind of like ajob, even though it's not like
immediate payback and some of itdoes not pay, you know, so,
yeah, so I guess what I'mlearning is, even though it is
(17:38):
okay, like to not finish anyprojects and to like let things
go, you know, because we'll havelike tons of ideas sometimes,
um, and then for three monthslater you're like I actually
don't want to write an albumthat's about guinea pigs.
Um, I would rather just dosingles and not have any
(17:59):
pressure to promote and launch awhole album, you know, okay.
So, uh, another big failure Ihave struggled with talking
about to people outside of, likemy husband.
My husband and I always talkabout money and risk and debt.
(18:19):
We're completely transparentabout where we're at with that.
But when I was growing up, myfather committed bank fraud and
disappeared and there was alwayslike a lot of I felt a lot of
shame around money not havingenough, being in debt and just
hearing how people talked aboutthat and about my father and you
(18:42):
know it's just didn't reallyhave a good understanding of any
of it.
So I think it's important totalk about your finances with
your partner and be completelytransparent and, if you're going
to take a risk, that you'reboth on board with that support
(19:03):
and no matter how it turns out.
So 2024 for me brought somewhatfinancial failure in that I did
go further into debt and my goalbefore that was to be debt free
.
I did pay off my personal debt.
We paid off our car.
We now own our home.
(19:23):
You know there are all theselike positives and wins, but I
want my business to be debt free.
And I went further into debtbecause I made a huge investment
in my creative work my livealbum and the film.
That was a big dream and Iwanted to capture a show I could
be proud of forever, and so wedid it.
(19:45):
I had the support of my husbandand it took a lot of money,
took a lot of risk, even withfunding and grants, and so now I
am paying it back.
I've got, you know, paymentplan, automatic payments and
blah, blah, blah.
It's all on lines of credit,two specifically One is not so
(20:08):
big, the other is a little bitbigger, but I don't know.
I guess I'm used to carryingdebt.
It's like debt management.
So, anyways, I also begansubmitting the show to lots of
festivals and showcase eventsand so on and so forth, and I
only got a few bites.
I am being patient, like I'mtrying not to freak out, but I
(20:34):
did hope to see the risk have aquicker financial return.
I really thought my summer in2025 was gonna be really filled
with like festival performances,because I really believe in the
show and my music and themusicians I work with.
So I guess what I learned fromthat is like there are no
(20:56):
guarantees.
It doesn't mean that we're notyou know, our music is crap or
that we're not good at what wedo, or that I'm not good.
It's just that it is reallyhighly competitive.
There are so many deserving, uh, wonderful musicians out there
vying for the same performanceopportunities, and so, um, does
(21:17):
that mean we shouldn't have doneany of it?
No, I don't believe that.
Um, what we did, we've, we've.
No one could take that awayfrom us.
You know, and I still noregrets.
But what I did learn, I've gotto be smarter about how I work.
Now I need the investment topay me back any investment I
make moving forward.
So that means I have to keep aclose eye on my budgets, which
(21:41):
I'm actually really good withbudgets.
I have to tour smarter.
Every performance counts.
I have to tour smarter.
Every performance counts, andluckily I have a part time job
now, a remote job that I can dofrom anywhere.
That allows me this kind of.
It feels like a luxury to beable to pick and choose which
shows I want to do, and also thesupport of my Patreon helps me
(22:07):
have that freedom to not do thesoul-sucking shows that maybe
I've outgrown or they do notlight me up or they drain me
financially.
So just being smarter about thedecision to leave the house and
put on a show or makeconnections and I also.
(22:29):
I just need to make sure I'mnot burning more than I earn and
find new ways to connect withpeople who want to support the
work that I am doing, whichbrings me back to Patreon.
So this year there's been awonderful growth in free
membership signups and also asteady, slow growth in my paid
(22:50):
memberships.
I think we're up to about 70paying members now and I have a
total of like 150 members total,and that's where I share my
real updates music, writing,behind the scenes stuff and if
you're on there, you get anemail when I post an update,
just like the old days.
(23:12):
I just don't like this idea ofmy fans having to scroll and
like swipe endlessly on socialmedia because I don't.
I don't want to do that.
I catch myself doing itsometimes and I do not want to
spend my life scrolling onsocial media and a lot of it is
ads and I can get sucked in aswell.
Um, so you know I struggle withthat.
(23:33):
I'm trying to break it, but Ithink I'm doing myself and my
fans a favor by just kind ofkeeping all my stuff in one
place, which is my Patreon, andit's not that I'm never going to
post on Facebook or Instagram,again it.
You know they'll be the kind ofstandard posts from time to
time, but just a lot less.
I, yeah, I am stepping backfrom social media, but, uh,
(23:59):
again, it's just not.
I've learned that, uh, I want mytime to go into the places that
matters.
I want to write more songs,maybe not eight a month, um.
I want to read more books, liketo listen to some records, and
I don't need to know whateverybody's doing all the time,
(24:20):
like I.
Just it's not that I don't care, it's just that you know your
close friends.
I think you catch up with them.
When you went on the phone Well, I do, I like to catch up with
them on the phone.
Or when you see them in person,make a coffee date, go for a
hike it's kind of how I roll,okay, so I'm just going to do a
little overview again.
What I've learned overall isthat hard work and pushing
(24:43):
through your fears it really isworthwhile.
That's what I did last year,and I was so scared to screw up
my big investment.
But I was also scared that Iwouldn't live up to my own
vision.
But we did it and I'm sothrilled.
So check out on my bandcamp orjust send me an email, I can
(25:06):
direct you the new live Stormalbum.
On a side, but not really, I'vebeen working a lot on this idea
of forgiveness, like on thepersonal side, and learning to
let go, and that goes for likeme, like forgiving myself.
I'm still working on it, but Iam getting there and I think I
(25:27):
think last year I, you know, Imade a little bit of progress in
in forgiveness.
I learned that I do haveeverything I need.
You know, like I could still beambitious without feeling like
I'm lacking, uh, but at the endof the day, if I've tried for uh
(25:50):
, you know, and I keep workingtowards my dreams, I still like
I am, I have enough, I am enough, I have love, I'm good.
I'm not gonna cry about it,I'll keep trying, but I'm gonna
have more fun trying and not,you know, like be so wound up
(26:10):
and disappointed if things don't.
I guess, come my way easier.
I've learned that success isn'tabout being busy, it is about
what matters.
Are my key relationshipshealthy?
Yes, they are.
Am I working on projects thatexcite me Absolutely?
Am I paying my bills?
(26:30):
Yes.
Is my partnership with myhusband strong and healthy?
Yep, and my cat.
Yep, that's another check.
Um, as hard as it can be to paydown debt, it is, uh, super easy
to rack it back up again.
So, just keeping an eye on thatand um, and that, as long as
(26:53):
you know the facts of where yourmoney is, how much you owe,
there's always a way to worktowards paying that debt down.
I've always been able to makeit work and pay things down, but
, yeah, it's super easy to rackit right up again.
So, yeah, and then I keepworking with this idea, folks,
(27:15):
and I want to share it.
It's a big one, it's so simple,it's not.
I didn't make this up, but lessis more.
Less can be more.
Keep it simple In everything Ido.
I've worked hard to keep thingsas simple and and as possible
so that I can have space in mylife to enjoy the things that
(27:38):
matter.
So that is where I'm at, folks.
That is how I'm kicking offseason four.
I'm excited to share more.
I'm excited to hear from you,like to really hear from you.
So don't forget to call or textthe Heartbeat Hotline or email
me.
Let's keep this connection anda chat with heart alive.
(27:58):
And one more thing if you arestuck, if you need a bit of
encouragement, I want to hearfrom you.
If you're in the middle of yourmuck on your path with heart, I
want to hear about it.
And if you've faced your fearsand you've come out on the other
side, and if you've faced yourfears and you've come out on the
other side, I'm very proud ofyou and I want to hear about it.
(28:18):
Thank you for being here and,yeah, good luck, just being
yourself as hard as it can besometimes and calming the fuck
down when you need to.
And I'm here, I'm here and, uh,look forward to sharing more
(28:39):
chats with heart with you.
Oh, I don't want to say goodbyeto you.
Welcome to the HeartbeatHotline 1902-669-4769.
(29:11):
I'm the host of a Chat withHeart podcast, christina Martin,
and I'm so excited you called.
Leave me your question,suggestion for the podcast or a
comment about this episode.
Please be aware your messagemay be used on the podcast and
social media.
Tell me your name, where you'recalling from, and it's also
fine if you want to remainanonymous, thanks, thanks for
(29:33):
listening.
Have a great fucking day.
Hey, thanks for listening to AChat With Heart produced by me,
christina Martin, co-producedand engineered by my partner in
life and sound, dale Murray.
Dale's not just a wizard withknobs, he's also a killer,
singer-songwriter, sessionmusician and music producer.
Go snoop around his world atdalemurrayca.
(29:55):
The podcast theme song, talkAbout it and I Don't Want to Say
Goodbye to you, were written byme and recorded by Dale.
Want to support what we do?
You can snag CDs, vinyl,digital music and some weirdly
delightful merch like custompuzzles and temporary tattoo
packs over on my bandcamp.
If you're into keeping indieart alive or just want good
karma, become a monthly oryearly member on my Patreon.
(30:19):
It's a platform that helpscreators get paid to keep making
stuff we love.
I swear by it.
Sign up free or paid atpatreoncom.
Backslash, christina Martin.
If this podcast made you laugh,cry, think or rage, text your
best friend, do me a solid shareit, rate it, review it and hit
(30:40):
that follow or subscribe buttonwherever you get your podcasts.
And to all my little heartbeatlisteners stay weird, stay
tender and I'll catch you nexttime.
Hey, you're listening to A Chat with Heart.
I'm your host, christina Martin.
I'm a singer-songwriter,curious human.
I live on a dirt road in ruralNova Scotia with my partner in
crime, dale, and our calico cat,olivia.
This podcast is basically justme chatting with people I admire
.
I like to ask questions thatfeed my curiosity, and my guests
(00:25):
have all taught me something.
They either crack me up or theypunch me right in the feels.
If you've got questions,comments or a burning desire to
join the conversation, pleasecall my heartbeat hotline, day
or night.
It's 1-902-669-4769.
You can also email me atchristinamartinmusic at gmailcom
(00:47):
, and if you want to throw alittle love my way and help keep
this thing going, visit myPatreon page.
That's how artists like me getpaid.
Thanks for showing up Warningheartfelt content ahead.
If we just talk about it, wecould shut it in.
(01:15):
We could break a dark day.
Hey friends, welcome to seasonfour of a chat with heart
podcast.
It's just me today, no guest,just you and me hanging out.
I wanted to ease into this newseason a little differently.
(01:39):
I'm still going to haveincredible guests, people who
are inspiring, cool, lovely,even titillating, but I'm also
thinking I'd like to spend moretime just sharing me with you
Maybe bits of my lifesongwriting, my experiences as
(02:02):
an entrepreneur songwriting myexperiences as an entrepreneur
specifically in my little musicbiz, and the stuff I think about
in those quiet early morningsalone or my late night
layarounds when I'm staring atthe ceiling and I can't fall
asleep and listen.
I really want you to feelcomfortable reaching out to me,
(02:27):
which will only shape thispodcast and make it stronger.
So don't be shy or be yourselfwhatever.
Call the Heartbeat Hotline.
It's not just a gimmick.
I swear I won't answer, but youcan leave a message.
You can call or text thatnumber.
It's in the show notes and it'sat the top of the beginning and
(02:49):
the end of every episode of achat with her podcast.
And so, yeah, just leave me amessage.
You can ask me a question aboutanything, suggest a topic for
the podcast or just say hi.
Seriously, I miss the days likewhen people would just call you
, you know, like they weren'ttexting to make a plan to call.
It wasn't on the calendar.
You just phone somebody, um,and and do leave a message for
(03:14):
the sake of connection.
I think that weirds people outlike people are shy about that.
I love leaving voice notes forany of my close friends
listening, they would know.
Um, it's one of my favoritethings too.
I don't like texting like I dotext, but I don't love it.
I don't like it, but I loveleaving voice messages and I do
(03:36):
like cold calling people like wedid in the good old days.
If you're listening from outsidethe country I, canada and you
don't want to rack up charges onyour phone, you can always just
email me instead, a voice noteor an email message,
christinamartinmusic at gmailcom.
If you really have time on yourhands, I do have some pen pals.
(03:58):
So if you want my mailingaddress, email me and we can
start that kind ofcorrespondence.
Mailing address, email me andwe can start that kind of
correspondence.
Anyway, unless it's like wildlyinappropriate, like in your
voice message or your email andhonestly I'm kind of into that
weird stuff I will read it on afuture episode you can ask me
(04:22):
anything like life, love, loss.
We could talk about depression,daily routines, relationships,
house sitting, being a nanny,singing, songwriting, the music
biz, making music videos,putting on shows, coffee talk,
(04:44):
coffee talk.
Or you can even ask me aboutthis new wholesome hobby that
Dale and I have stumbled intodiamond art.
Don't knock it till you try it.
Folks, I'm curious to hearabout your hobbies.
Okay, so here we are, season 4.
There's no real.
(05:05):
I was thinking.
Thinking is it?
Like you know, a lot ofpodcasts are very specific.
This, I think, the specificityof my podcast is it's a chat
with heart.
I'm interested in trying to,you know, always be as myself as
I can be, which is is hardsometimes, particularly if I'm
(05:27):
talking to people I don't knowsuper well but I'm really
curious about.
So, like that's a challenge forme, and I love asking people
about pivotal experiences intheir work or their life that
have shaped their path, and andI talk about a lot of those that
have happened to me as well.
So, if anything, it's all aboutauthenticity and a chill chat
(05:52):
with heart and pivotalexperiences that have helped
shape us.
Yeah, but for this episode Ithought of well, I thought I'd
kind of just do a little bit ofa catch-up, and I have shared a
lot of wins this past year in mypersonal and professional life.
(06:14):
All the love and the projectsand the music.
You've probably seen it all oneither my socials or my Patreon
page or we've chatted a bitabout it in previous episodes.
But I want to, I want to reviewthe wins because it's, this is
what I.
I do do that every year as akind of reminder, because if I
(06:36):
don't, I honestly get.
I just feel like I'm not doneenough or I've not accomplished
anything and and that's I don'tknow.
It's not really a great feeling.
I think it is important.
I don't want to, like this onegoes out to my friend Hannah, if
she ever listens to this.
I don't want to rest on mylaurels I don't, actually I
(06:59):
never do Because there's as soonas you kind of hit a mark and
you've done that thing for me,like I quickly go into oh my God
, I'm not doing anything, I'mnot doing enough.
So anyway, I want to go over itbecause I do want to celebrate
briefly with you and because you, my Little Heartbeat listeners,
(07:20):
a lot of you have been a bigpart of the wins.
Heartbeat listeners, a lot ofyou have been a big part of the
wins, and so the biggest one, Ithink last year, uh, was that
not just me alone, but I workedwith a real wonderful crew of
people, um, to put on this grandperformance in in Dartmouth,
nova Scotia, at Alderney LandingTheater, and we recorded uh, my
(07:41):
storm album live and we filmedit and now that is available.
When you buy the digital albumon my band camp, I will email
you the private link to watchthe whole performance, and that
was a huge undertaking.
Another win was Dale and Iadopted a kitten.
We named her Olivia.
(08:04):
We got her very young, so westarted training her with like a
harness and and it sounds likewe're treating her like a horse,
but like we, we got her used towearing a harness so that we
could, like take her on thetrails with us and you know she
has like a backpack that we willtake.
We would take her on hikes andand she would just fall asleep
(08:25):
in it and she's as a result.
A big win is that she's verygood at traveling, she loves it
and she's good around otheranimals.
These are in no superparticular order because if they
were, I should have listed thisone as my number one.
But my mom has nearly done hercancer treatments.
(08:46):
She was diagnosed with breastcancer last January and one year
later she did all thesesurgeries and lymph nodes
removed, breast removed, youknow chemo, radiation, all of it
.
She's 77 now I think she justturned 77.
And she's doing great.
She's 77 now I think she justturned 77 and she's doing great.
(09:08):
She's incredible.
She's never complained and it'sbeen one of my honors, my big
life honors to be around and andbe with her, to witness her
strength, and I, you know, Ihope she never has to go through
(09:31):
something quite like that again, but I know we'll have things
we have to go through again andI feel like we're stronger for
it.
So way to go, mom, and that'sit.
That was a win.
Another big win was I was ableto kick this really bad habit I
(09:51):
had.
I shouldn't say kick itcompletely, but I, for many,
many, many years, I just, I justreally would easily, as soon as
I had space in my day or myschedule, I would just fill it
right back.
You know this kind of had, thisfear of if I'm not busy, if I'm
not doing, if I'm not takingall the gigs, no matter how
(10:15):
soul-sucking some of them mightbe, um, I, just I, I would make
sure to fill the calendar.
And I've been working hard todo the complete opposite, to
only say yes to things based onthe fact that they really, you
know, fuel me, either bringimmense joy, there's a financial
bonus to it as well.
(10:37):
I mean because money to memeans I can have the freedom to
stay healthy a little easier, Ican pay my bills, and it's a
mental health thing really, andit's something I don't want to
be ashamed to say that I likemaking money, I mean.
I think that's what it is forall of us.
I'm not.
We did last year, though Iplayed less every show we did
(11:09):
was amazing fun.
I'm talking about shows likeBlueberry Jam and Mabu.
I'm talking about the big shinytunes at the Marquee Ballroom.
I'm talking about the stormlive at Alderney Landing Theatre
and playing with my band atGranville Green in Port
Hawkesbury and I'm sure therewere others.
There were house concerts,there was a tour in the UK and
(11:31):
actually we recorded a live atthe Green Note in London.
So I'm just about to launchthat very, very soon.
Stay tuned.
If you follow me on Patreon,you'll find out where the big
launch will be online so you canparticipate.
But that show is just Dale andI.
The storm at Alderney Landingshow was the full band and a
(11:52):
string quartet and a bespokevisual and lighting component as
well.
But there's something Dale andI don't actually have a show of
us for viewers, like a full showyet, and I really love what we
got.
So, so that's um, that's comingout soon too, and as well as
(12:16):
other things, I'm sure.
Okay, now we're gonna shift.
We're gonna shift to um.
Well, I think we don't alwaysshare openly which is our
failures.
And did you know that Finlandhas an International Day for
Failure?
Yeah, it's on October 13th.
(12:37):
It was started by students atAalto University, if I'm saying
that right in 2010.
And the idea is to celebratethe failures as a step towards
success, and I can totally getbehind this.
And also the goal, I suppose,is to reduce, like, the shame
(12:59):
and around failure and encouragepeople to take risks and be
okay with screwing up and tolearn, and then to share that.
So here are two questions Iinvite you to sit with monthly,
yearly or whenever I did it forlast year.
I'm about to share that withyou.
(13:19):
But the two questions are howhave you failed?
Ask yourself how I've failedand ask yourself what have I
learned from it?
Okay, so I'll go first Um, I'msure there are other things, but
I'm just naming the moreobvious things that came to my
mind.
So, how have I failed?
(13:40):
Um, okay.
So at the start of 2024, I um, Imade a promise to myself to
write.
Like I got really specific withthis goal eight songs a month,
which is a very lofty goal, veryambitious, very Virgo of me,
though I'm a Gemini, but youknow what?
(14:01):
I don't think I finished asingle song last year, okay.
So what did I learn from that?
What did I learn from that?
Because that can be crushing.
Like you set up a goal foryourself and or multiple goals,
and then, and then you feel likecrap because you didn't achieve
(14:21):
any of them.
And you know what?
My most of my life as a singer,songwriter, I have really
struggled with that feeling of,okay, I'm not doing enough of
this or that and I do want tochange that.
Ultimately, songwriting is oneof my biggest life joys and it
(14:42):
fuels everything else I do.
It fuels connection, healinggrowth.
Else I do, it feels connection,healing growth.
So you know, I've thought a lotabout it and I mean, well, why
haven't I done more of this?
And I'll share a little bitabout why that.
What I learned from thinkingabout that in a bit.
But in any case, what I learnedwas, first of all, I do think
(15:04):
it's okay not to do the thingyou set out to do?
Period.
I do think it's okay not to dothe thing you set out to do
period.
Like, I learned that eightsongs a month is just not how my
creativity works, at leastright now.
My, I guess, naturalprogression seems to be that I
(15:26):
chip away at ideas, I collectphrases, I hum ideas into my
phone, but I never force output.
It just doesn't light me up, itdoesn't.
You know, I've never workedwell in that fashion.
I also learned that, eventhough I love routine and I do
(15:46):
have, you know, routine to myday I share lots of them on the
podcast I have in the past Ifall into this pattern where I
work really hard and then Icrash and I hardly work and that
swing can mess with my mentalhealth.
So I'm thinking more about thatand trying to learn from it.
(16:11):
And maybe it's just that, like,what I'm trying to do now is
like work hard but like at acertain time, like step off,
like go chill.
Okay, save it for tomorrow.
Okay, save it for tomorrow,save your um, I understand this
need to, you know like follow anidea to the end, like get as
(16:35):
much out as you can, but, like,I guess, be, you know, being
more aware of my energy leveland like, um, even my body.
It's hurting my body to sit inthis position and, like you know
, bust my ass Like am I gettingenough sleep?
Like, for me, like, having ahealthy routine with eating and
(16:57):
sleeping affects everything.
So, like, having like set timesto do work, to do creative work
, that's something I'm messingaround with right now.
My mornings are for creativity.
I'm setting.
This goes back to like how do Ibreak these nasty habits of not
doing writing any songs?
I'm putting it on the calendar.
(17:18):
I'm making dates with friendsto co-write and showing up.
We're both showing up.
I'm treating it kind of like ajob, even though it's not like
immediate payback and some of itdoes not pay, you know, so,
yeah, so I guess what I'mlearning is, even though it is
(17:38):
okay, like to not finish anyprojects and to like let things
go, you know, because we'll havelike tons of ideas sometimes,
um, and then for three monthslater you're like I actually
don't want to write an albumthat's about guinea pigs.
Um, I would rather just dosingles and not have any
(17:59):
pressure to promote and launch awhole album, you know, okay.
So, uh, another big failure Ihave struggled with talking
about to people outside of, likemy husband.
My husband and I always talkabout money and risk and debt.
(18:19):
We're completely transparentabout where we're at with that.
But when I was growing up, myfather committed bank fraud and
disappeared and there was alwayslike a lot of I felt a lot of
shame around money not havingenough, being in debt and just
hearing how people talked aboutthat and about my father and you
(18:42):
know it's just didn't reallyhave a good understanding of any
of it.
So I think it's important totalk about your finances with
your partner and be completelytransparent and, if you're going
to take a risk, that you'reboth on board with that support
(19:03):
and no matter how it turns out.
So 2024 for me brought somewhatfinancial failure in that I did
go further into debt and my goalbefore that was to be debt free
.
I did pay off my personal debt.
We paid off our car.
We now own our home.
(19:23):
You know there are all theselike positives and wins, but I
want my business to be debt free.
And I went further into debtbecause I made a huge investment
in my creative work my livealbum and the film.
That was a big dream and Iwanted to capture a show I could
be proud of forever, and so wedid it.
(19:45):
I had the support of my husbandand it took a lot of money,
took a lot of risk, even withfunding and grants, and so now I
am paying it back.
I've got, you know, paymentplan, automatic payments and
blah, blah, blah.
It's all on lines of credit,two specifically One is not so
(20:08):
big, the other is a little bitbigger, but I don't know.
I guess I'm used to carryingdebt.
It's like debt management.
So, anyways, I also begansubmitting the show to lots of
festivals and showcase eventsand so on and so forth, and I
only got a few bites.
I am being patient, like I'mtrying not to freak out, but I
(20:34):
did hope to see the risk have aquicker financial return.
I really thought my summer in2025 was gonna be really filled
with like festival performances,because I really believe in the
show and my music and themusicians I work with.
So I guess what I learned fromthat is like there are no
(20:56):
guarantees.
It doesn't mean that we're notyou know, our music is crap or
that we're not good at what wedo, or that I'm not good.
It's just that it is reallyhighly competitive.
There are so many deserving, uh, wonderful musicians out there
vying for the same performanceopportunities, and so, um, does
(21:17):
that mean we shouldn't have doneany of it?
No, I don't believe that.
Um, what we did, we've, we've.
No one could take that awayfrom us.
You know, and I still noregrets.
But what I did learn, I've gotto be smarter about how I work.
Now I need the investment topay me back any investment I
make moving forward.
So that means I have to keep aclose eye on my budgets, which
(21:41):
I'm actually really good withbudgets.
I have to tour smarter.
Every performance counts.
I have to tour smarter.
Every performance counts, andluckily I have a part time job
now, a remote job that I can dofrom anywhere.
That allows me this kind of.
It feels like a luxury to beable to pick and choose which
shows I want to do, and also thesupport of my Patreon helps me
(22:07):
have that freedom to not do thesoul-sucking shows that maybe
I've outgrown or they do notlight me up or they drain me
financially.
So just being smarter about thedecision to leave the house and
put on a show or makeconnections and I also.
(22:29):
I just need to make sure I'mnot burning more than I earn and
find new ways to connect withpeople who want to support the
work that I am doing, whichbrings me back to Patreon.
So this year there's been awonderful growth in free
membership signups and also asteady, slow growth in my paid
(22:50):
memberships.
I think we're up to about 70paying members now and I have a
total of like 150 members total,and that's where I share my
real updates music, writing,behind the scenes stuff and if
you're on there, you get anemail when I post an update,
just like the old days.
(23:12):
I just don't like this idea ofmy fans having to scroll and
like swipe endlessly on socialmedia because I don't.
I don't want to do that.
I catch myself doing itsometimes and I do not want to
spend my life scrolling onsocial media and a lot of it is
ads and I can get sucked in aswell.
Um, so you know I struggle withthat.
(23:33):
I'm trying to break it, but Ithink I'm doing myself and my
fans a favor by just kind ofkeeping all my stuff in one
place, which is my Patreon, andit's not that I'm never going to
post on Facebook or Instagram,again it.
You know they'll be the kind ofstandard posts from time to
time, but just a lot less.
I, yeah, I am stepping backfrom social media, but, uh,
(23:59):
again, it's just not.
I've learned that, uh, I want mytime to go into the places that
matters.
I want to write more songs,maybe not eight a month, um.
I want to read more books, liketo listen to some records, and
I don't need to know whateverybody's doing all the time,
(24:20):
like I.
Just it's not that I don't care, it's just that you know your
close friends.
I think you catch up with them.
When you went on the phone Well, I do, I like to catch up with
them on the phone.
Or when you see them in person,make a coffee date, go for a
hike it's kind of how I roll,okay, so I'm just going to do a
little overview again.
What I've learned overall isthat hard work and pushing
(24:43):
through your fears it really isworthwhile.
That's what I did last year,and I was so scared to screw up
my big investment.
But I was also scared that Iwouldn't live up to my own
vision.
But we did it and I'm sothrilled.
So check out on my bandcamp orjust send me an email, I can
(25:06):
direct you the new live Stormalbum.
On a side, but not really, I'vebeen working a lot on this idea
of forgiveness, like on thepersonal side, and learning to
let go, and that goes for likeme, like forgiving myself.
I'm still working on it, but Iam getting there and I think I
(25:27):
think last year I, you know, Imade a little bit of progress in
in forgiveness.
I learned that I do haveeverything I need.
You know, like I could still beambitious without feeling like
I'm lacking, uh, but at the endof the day, if I've tried for uh
(25:50):
, you know, and I keep workingtowards my dreams, I still like
I am, I have enough, I am enough, I have love, I'm good.
I'm not gonna cry about it,I'll keep trying, but I'm gonna
have more fun trying and not,you know, like be so wound up
(26:10):
and disappointed if things don't.
I guess, come my way easier.
I've learned that success isn'tabout being busy, it is about
what matters.
Are my key relationshipshealthy?
Yes, they are.
Am I working on projects thatexcite me Absolutely?
Am I paying my bills?
(26:30):
Yes.
Is my partnership with myhusband strong and healthy?
Yep, and my cat.
Yep, that's another check.
Um, as hard as it can be to paydown debt, it is, uh, super easy
to rack it back up again.
So, just keeping an eye on thatand um, and that, as long as
(26:53):
you know the facts of where yourmoney is, how much you owe,
there's always a way to worktowards paying that debt down.
I've always been able to makeit work and pay things down, but
, yeah, it's super easy to rackit right up again.
So, yeah, and then I keepworking with this idea, folks,
(27:15):
and I want to share it.
It's a big one, it's so simple,it's not.
I didn't make this up, but lessis more.
Less can be more.
Keep it simple In everything Ido.
I've worked hard to keep thingsas simple and and as possible
so that I can have space in mylife to enjoy the things that
(27:38):
matter.
So that is where I'm at, folks.
That is how I'm kicking offseason four.
I'm excited to share more.
I'm excited to hear from you,like to really hear from you.
So don't forget to call or textthe Heartbeat Hotline or email
me.
Let's keep this connection anda chat with heart alive.
(27:58):
And one more thing if you arestuck, if you need a bit of
encouragement, I want to hearfrom you.
If you're in the middle of yourmuck on your path with heart, I
want to hear about it.
And if you've faced your fearsand you've come out on the other
side, and if you've faced yourfears and you've come out on the
other side, I'm very proud ofyou and I want to hear about it.
(28:18):
Thank you for being here and,yeah, good luck, just being
yourself as hard as it can besometimes and calming the fuck
down when you need to.
And I'm here, I'm here and, uh,look forward to sharing more
(28:39):
chats with heart with you.
Oh, I don't want to say goodbyeto you.
Welcome to the HeartbeatHotline 1902-669-4769.
(29:11):
I'm the host of a Chat withHeart podcast, christina Martin,
and I'm so excited you called.
Leave me your question,suggestion for the podcast or a
comment about this episode.
Please be aware your messagemay be used on the podcast and
social media.
Tell me your name, where you'recalling from, and it's also
fine if you want to remainanonymous, thanks, thanks for
(29:33):
listening.
Have a great fucking day.
Hey, thanks for listening to AChat With Heart produced by me,
christina Martin, co-producedand engineered by my partner in
life and sound, dale Murray.
Dale's not just a wizard withknobs, he's also a killer,
singer-songwriter, sessionmusician and music producer.
Go snoop around his world atdalemurrayca.
(29:55):
The podcast theme song, talkAbout it and I Don't Want to Say
Goodbye to you, were written byme and recorded by Dale.
Want to support what we do?
You can snag CDs, vinyl,digital music and some weirdly
delightful merch like custompuzzles and temporary tattoo
packs over on my bandcamp.
If you're into keeping indieart alive or just want good
karma, become a monthly oryearly member on my Patreon.
(30:19):
It's a platform that helpscreators get paid to keep making
stuff we love.
I swear by it.
Sign up free or paid atpatreoncom.
Backslash, christina Martin.
If this podcast made you laugh,cry, think or rage, text your
best friend, do me a solid shareit, rate it, review it and hit
(30:40):
that follow or subscribe buttonwherever you get your podcasts.
And to all my little heartbeatlisteners stay weird, stay
tender and I'll catch you nexttime.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.