35. Yes, I've Done Psychedelics, Part 2: From Psychonaut to Researcher

On episode 35 of A Chat with Uma, I provide the long‑overdue follow‑up to my 2023 episode “Yes, I’ve Done Psychedelics: From Psychonaut to Researcher!” Two years (and many trips) later, I walk you through how psychedelics have woven themselves into my recovery from OCD, PTSD, and treatment‑resistant depression--and how my relationship to them has evolved. I’m candid about the depression pattern I now recognize: months of slow improvement, a frightening slide into suicidal exhaustion, and finally the “as‑needed biological intervention” of a macro‑dose psilocybin session.

I share why I now treat psilocybin as an “as‑needed biological intervention,” how my move to Madison and recovery gains changed the cadence of those sessions, and how I’m learning to identify red‑flag symptoms earlier so I don’t wait until rock‑bottom. Throughout the episode I’m brutally honest about the hellish parts: intrusive‑thought torture, eye‑burning exhaustion, and the constant urge to postpone each dose because I hate the experience even while I depend on the after‑effects. I describe how each trip has dovetailed with psychotherapy treatment for OCD, PTSD, and depression, and what last week’s brutally intense—but surprisingly fast‑acting—trip has already done for my mental state. If you want a raw, first‑person account of using psychedelics to carve out months of functional life—and why I still need intensive mental health treatment, behavioral change, and a healthy life to continue through recovery—here it is in its fullest form.

Listen to these contextual episodes first:

• ⁠My Full Story: 0 to 26⁠
• My Mental Health Journey:⁠ Part 1,⁠ ⁠Part 2⁠, ⁠Part 3⁠, ⁠Part 4,⁠ ⁠Part 5⁠
• ⁠Yes, I've Done Psychedelics: From Psychonaut to Researcher⁠
• The Ketamine Diaries:⁠ Part 1,⁠ ⁠Part 2⁠

Topics Discussed (+ Timestamps):

(00:00:00) Recapping Part 1 from two years ago, where I left off with ketamine treatments, and how today’s episode picks up from where we left off

(00:02:40) Why I share these vulnerable stories, disclaimers on anecdotal use, and how personal experiences shape broader conversations about psychedelics

(00:09:00) The ‘As‑Needed’ Psilocybin Plan: How I decided to approach psilocybin