May 20, 2025 • 42 mins
We're back after a three-week hiatus, and there's a good reason for our absence. Victoria has undergone two additional surgeries, including a spinal implant for her Complex Regional Pain Syndrome that has miraculously reduced her pain by over 80%. As she puts it with characteristic humor, "I really should get free HBO at this point with all these things I have to plug in and out."
But just as life seemed to be settling into a healthier rhythm, we experienced what we can only describe as a "tsunami of toxicity" – multiple estranged family members suddenly reaching out from both sides after years of no contact. The timing wasn't random. These reconnection attempts came after these individuals experienced health crises or deaths that shifted their perspectives about mortality and relationships. Yet the painful patterns quickly re-emerged, revealing the self-centered nature of these renewed connections.
What struck us most profoundly was how these same family members never reached out when our daughter was critically ill in organ failure, yet they didn't hesitate to repost about her condition on social media for sympathy. This brought us to the central question that survivors of narcissistic relationships often wrestle with: Can narcissists truly change? Our professional experience and personal journey suggest that while they might adjust their presentation temporarily, fundamental transformation is exceedingly rare.
The conversation takes a deep dive into what drives narcissistic behavior, exploring the calculated nature of how they manipulate and harm others. We discuss the impossibility of imagining life without empathy – the inability to comprehend how someone could go about their daily activities without genuine concern for a loved one in crisis. For those dealing with toxic family relationships, we offer a powerful starting point: ask yourself why someone would derive satisfaction from causing others pain, and why anyone would choose drama and negativity when unconditional love offers so much more fulfillment.
Whether you're currently navigating complicated family dynamics or healing from narcissistic abuse, this raw, heartfelt discussion offers validation, perspective, and practical wisdom. Join us as we explore how to protect your peace while setting appropriate boundaries with those who've caused harm. Life's too short for toxicity – choose joy, authenticity, and genuine connection instead.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Good evening and welcome to another episode of A
Pentecost Smile Unstoppable.
You have the redhead and theredneck.
He's jaw jacking on some cereal.
What would that be called?
Not jaw jacking?
What would it be You're goingto come up with?
Like it's eating, babe, that'sright.
So we've been a little busylately, don't you think?
(00:31):
Mm-hmm, uh-huh.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
So let me clarify this Y'all.
We've been gone for about threeweeks now, three weeks.
Something like that we have notput out a podcast and this is
the reason.
It's my fault.
It's not my wife's fault, it ismy fault, Something like that.
We have not put out a podcastand this is the reason.
It's my fault.
It's not my wife's fault, it ismy fault.
It is not.
It is that POS and that doctor.
It's their fault, anyway.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
There's a little more toxicity than that.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
But my wife has undergone two additional
surgeries in the past threeweeks.
Yeah, I didn't feel the need toput her health behind the
podcast, so I made her rest.
(01:20):
I made her sit on her butt.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
I still worked.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
I made her lay in the bed and so we didn't put out a
podcast.
So I do apologize for all youfaithful listeners out there.
You know we have severalhundred thousands on each
different platform, so you knowwe apologize, but I hope you all
understand.
(01:44):
having had the two surgeries, mywife is doing much, much better
.
Thank you all.
If you all follow her onFacebook or wherever, you'll see
that or hear that she isprobably somewhere between 80 to
92% pain less than she wasbefore.
2% pain less than she wasbefore.
(02:08):
She's a warrior, y'all.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Okay, that's quiet airtime.
Anyway, thanks babe.
I did a trial stem router forpain.
I also have CRPS, complexregional pain syndrome.
Not that this was this show isabout cause, it's not and I had
to do a temporary whichprohibited me from like
(02:34):
basically turning, twisting,bending anything, and the device
was externally placed upon myback and I wore it to see what
kind of relief I could get andit was amazing.
And then they pulled it out,cut stitches and then I got my
(02:56):
implanted device.
It was complicated surgery but,knock on wood, it all came out.
now I'm learning to live withthis and it's just one more
thing for me to plug in and plugout and I mean I really should
get better life.
I'm just like right, I meancome on now and I really think
they should be giving me likefree hbo at this point.
(03:17):
I mean he's just looking at melike this.
Okay, so we haven't reallytalked about, you know, our
foundation of how we help peoplesurvive domestic violence and
other types of abuse and thenall of a sudden, you know how
they, it's like the calm beforethe storm, and then all of a
sudden it's like whoosh, welcometo toxicity hell.
(03:39):
And that's where we have been.
We got just a Tosani.
What Did I say?
It wrong?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yes, you did.
You have three freaking doctors.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
So sleep deprived.
You probably have a 6.0.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
GPA.
I don't know if that's possible.
And you said a Tosami Tsunami.
Oh my God, yeah Y'all.
I've done Red Dead Fire tsunami.
Oh my God, Y'all.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
I've read that fire.
Wow, I can't believe I did that.
We had a tsunami of toxicity inthe last ten days.
We'll just go down seven.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
We had so much.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And any of you know, us know that the fundamentals of
our home because it's a home,not a house, and there's a huge
difference is simply fame nodrama, no toxicity,
unconditional love andacceptance and my husband's
chowing down on.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I've been looking for that duster, that feather
duster.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Left field hello.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Well, I need to dust some things in the house.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
The home.
We need to dust some toxicityout.
So this is really the basis ofour foundation, of what we talk
about and where would you sayour toxicity?
Level was taken to in the lastweek.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
We just had some old family members reacquaint
themselves with us out of leftfield, and it's you know.
So how do you read that?
You know, that you know.
After years and years of notspeaking to certain family
members, all of a sudden, herethey come out of left field, one
(05:25):
right after the other.
You're like what the heck isgoing on.
You know where's this comingfrom.
Are we being tried?
Are we being tested?
You know, is something going on.
You know the universe is sayingsomething we don't know, so
we're riding it out.
We're seeing how it's going.
Can we talk about?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
this for a minute.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
You can talk about it .
I'm going to continue eating myvittles and then you can add in
here.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
So, first thing, we were so happy to see my
husband's brother reach out andtalk to him and that was awesome
and they had a pretty lengthyconversation him and that was
awesome and they had a prettylengthy conversation and it was
asked if we would considertalking to his mom and we have
(06:14):
been no contact for a while andhis brother was very forthcoming
and saying that all he knew hedidn't have her side of the
story.
All he knew is what she hadtold him.
Correct me if I'm wrong which hesaid to us?
All she said was it was all ourfault and that's all the story
(06:39):
he knew.
That was what he said, right?
Nobody can see you shake yourhead.
I'm trying to figure out whereyou're going with this.
That's what he said, right?
Nobody can see you shake yourhead.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
I'm trying to figure out where you're going with this
.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Well, that's what he said, right.
But here's the thing and I talkabout this so much when I'm
talking with other people- whenI'm helping other people who are
in the healing process is doyou believe a narcissist can
change like perfect example, mysperm donor?
Do I believe he could change.
(07:09):
This is the very first time inmy entire life that I have ever
taken the stance that I haveafter.
We were no contact with themand literally I haven't been
reaching out and calling him ortexting him or or anything and
he came to you wanting to talkto you.
And then the next thing I knowhe needed something and this is
(07:32):
how it went, but I, for thefirst time ever, haven't you
know, reached back out because Imean, you nailed it when you
said it's about money with him,like it's all about money and
that's how some people are.
I want you to see how importantI am by all the monetary things
that I can show.
(07:52):
That doesn't impress me at all.
You've known that for 25 years.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I'll interject and say the answer is no.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
You don't think a narcissist can change?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
No, I believe they can persuade you that they're on
the straight and narrow,they're on the right path to
recovery.
They can glamorize what they'redoing Right, but the telltale
signs come out and they may noteven know it, but we've seen it
(08:29):
in both sides and it's not goingto change.
So I think the answer is no.
If you're asking me, if you'reasking the audience, the
listeners, no, I mean maybethey've had somebody in their
life.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
I would love for them to tell me about it, because in
the years that I've beenhelping people and working on on
this platform, I've never metone that changed.
I mean I haven't.
They might change likesomething about them physically
to make themselves appeardifferent, but internal
psychologically they don'tchange.
Like something about themphysically to make themselves
appear different, but internalpsychologically they don't
(09:08):
change.
So we end up having this we cantalk about both.
We end up having thisconversation and, um, the tables
have turned with my biologicalfamily where you know they've
reached out because they needsomething.
They wanted to let me knowabout some things that have
happened to my biological motherand I feel horrible that she
(09:31):
has gone through what she has.
But it's just ironic when I'mtold you have no idea what it's
like to take care of somebodywho has medical needs, and
anybody who knows me or ourdaughter faith knows I don't
even know how to summarize thatright.
I mean, between the two of uswe have like 150 some surgeries
(09:52):
most of them, thank god, aremine, because who wants their
child to endure anything likethat and to to complain about
having to take care?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
of your spouse.
I couldn't fathom it, I willtake care of my husband.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
I'll wipe his butt, I will blow his nose.
Yeah, baby, come on, I willtend to his needs, no matter
what.
I won't put him in a home, Ijust won't.
I don't care, I won't do it.
I'll be like I'll put on myprosthetic and that has a hell
of a gripper.
I'll do what I need to do.
If I need to pull you on asheet or something, I'll get
that prosthetic on and use thatstrength of that gripper on that
(10:29):
hand, but to hear that, that'sheart-wrenching.
And then we get that story fromyour brother and then your mom
calls and what really botheredme is she said three things
really got to her and the threethings that got to her had to do
with her leaving dog food inthe bedroom, which caused bugs,
(10:54):
her messing up a couch and hertelling our daughter what to do
basically.
Telling our daughter what to dobasically.
And those three things trumpedher feeling the need to even
contact us when we almost lostfaith, and I could see the pain
in my husband's face and eyesand it really hurt him, because
(11:18):
there is no excuse for anybodyI'm not just talking about her
In general.
so many people on either side,nobody reached out to say what
can we do?
How can we help?
You know, just pray about it.
But so quickly we were and Imean them to post about it to
get sympathy from others.
I mean, how do you comprehendthat?
(11:41):
How do you justify that in yourmind?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Um, I don't.
So, going back to what I saidearlier, there was a death in
the family of friends circleback on my side of the family
(12:07):
and that's when my brotherreached out.
After three years no contactreached out.
Okay, and that's how theconversation got going with my
mother and you know, excuse me,I just burped the fact that
(12:30):
they're excuse me, y'all.
I'm burping on my hair.
That's rude, the fact that thatyou know they're realizing hey,
you know, we're only aheartbeat away from death.
Their perspective changed and,and I believe that's why- we
were contacted.
Okay, on my wife's side, herfather reached out to us shortly
(12:57):
after her mother had a stroke.
So now his perspective haschanged because he's having to
take care of his wife morephysically and it's taken a toll
on him, and so his perspectivehas changed, as my mother and
(13:18):
brother's perspective haschanged.
So, you know, can a narcissistchange?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I don't know, I don't think so, but it would have to
be a huge how do you justifythat None of those people you
just named, plus so many more,never reached out when faith was
literally complete organfailure, until it would make it
to tonight, and they all knewabout it?
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Right, but it's not right there in front of them.
It's not their child.
It was when they reposted it.
It's not their child.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
It was when they reposted it for sympathy.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
It's not their child.
It was when they reposted itfor sympathy.
It's not their child, right?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
It's their grandchild , it's their niece, it's their
but that doesn't make it okay,it's their friend who it was, a
friend who made everybodycontact you.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
It's not a niece, it's not a grandchild I can't
answer for them.
Right.
But the heavy part of it is isthat immediately I'm told well,
I know what she's about to saybecause of her tone.
You don't know what I'm going tosay because, right or wrong, I
said, if they reach out duringthis ordeal with faith, we need
to take the walls down and havethe support and the whole time,
(14:25):
you know what, and I've saidthis a million times, like the
end of time, literally, I havesaid I don't care, and my
husband's so, gentle, and sweetabout this with me because I
told him I was like you want toreconnect, that's on you, but,
and he was like, no, they needto contact my wife and they need
to contact my daughter.
I was like I don't care aboutme, I care about my daughter.
Why are you laughing?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
you call me gentle you are in ways.
I'm a big, soft stocky but Idon't care.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
You know that they don't ask about me.
I don't care about that.
I care about our daughter and Icare about you.
But even when they were on thephone, it wasn't.
How is she doing since thishappened?
It wasn't.
You know how has she been?
And then, even when she triedto speak her, her say it was I
don't like what you said to me.
Well, she was a child at thetime and, without going into any
(15:18):
of the specifics, that doesn'tmake it justifiable.
You're supposed to be the adultright and so I'm the one that
she decides to talk about on youknow all platforms that.
Well, if ever read her tiktok,she'll never accept my apology.
Well, I would if it was genuineyou know when you come after my
family.
This is a three team unit and wehave been happy and trauma-free
(15:44):
and drama-free and nottrauma-free trauma and I mean
and I'm talking about in therealm of narcissism.
I'm talking about in the realmand I you know, unfortunately I
hate to say.
I'm an expert in narcissism,but a lot of big universities
say that I am you know, and toknow and I even said I know
what's coming next.
Watch.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
And it was exactly.
And I don't want to be right.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I want to be proven wrong.
Show me to be proven wrong.
Show me right, just show me.
And that's the problem is thattoday, in general, people are
all about themselves.
you very rarely find somebodywho genuinely cares about others
right like it's notwholesomeness is gone out the
window and in the trash andthat's so sad, it really is, and
(16:31):
it's just like if you start toget close to somebody and then
you realize the facade that'sbeing played, then they're going
to spin it on you becauseyou're not supposed to be able
to figure them out Right, andthat's not what life is about.
I mean, you and I have both beenthrough trauma and and like
emotionally and physically andpsychologically abusive partners
(16:56):
and family members and I I'mtrying not to look at my husband
because if he starts slurpingthe milk and the cereal I'm
gonna laugh but we have bothbeen through like horrific
individuals, both intimately andin family, and you just want to
look at them and say what iswrong with you, Life is too
short, why and what makeswhatever you're doing so
(17:19):
important that you can't takefive minutes Right and just say
and the answer was well, Ididn't think he would talk to me
Are you?
Are you serious?
Like you?
Don't think we talked to you?
our daughter was in there onlife support, told we'd make her
comfortable through the nighthell.
One of them lives 30 minutesaway right it doesn't matter I
(17:43):
mean it's not advantageous fortheir growth and because of that
you're not going to hear fromthem until it's necessary that
they need something from you,and we're learning that.
And I mean, unfortunately, weknow it, but and it was just
like a too too much at one timeit was just like whoosh, here's
this huge wave of narcissists,like in a line that just got
(18:04):
picked up by a wave in the oceanand just landed at us, and the
thing is is is that you knowwhat?
Do you want to spend your lifedealing with the unhappiness of
others, because misery lovescompany, or do you want to have
happiness in your life?
Do you want unconditional love?
Do you want to look at yourspouse sitting across from you
(18:26):
and thank God that you have himor her because of how lucky you
are?
You know, my husband and I aregetting remarried next week.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Yippee, what that was , genuine, that was not genuine.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
That was genuine, that was not genuine.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
I promise it was.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
No, it wasn't Watch.
I can get him to say whoopeejust the same.
There's like eight boxes of methat you build with stuff in
there.
What See, what see.
But that's just me.
His life is too short.
But you know what I look at,how you look at faith and how
she don't make that curly look.
You're not elvis, and I see howmuch you just love her and I
(19:06):
see the genuineness and softnessof your heart to her.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Excuse me.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
And it's so authentic and sweet.
And why would anybody want tosettle for anything other than
that?
Like the realists, need to seethat that's what life is about.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Get rid of the toxicity, get rid of the
negativity, get rid of theheartache and enjoy life.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
I mean, look how much of a fighter Faith is right.
That kid is a fighter.
No, she's a warrior.
That kid is a warrior, and tohave she's got scars prove it.
Yes, she does, and she wearsthem like a badge of honor, as
she should, as she should.
And you know, I will say thisis.
(19:50):
I'll get some slack for thisand that's okay.
There was a girl who lived inthe neighborhood that was very
rude to our daughter, um, formultiple reasons, and I hadn't
seen her in a while, and then Idid see her and she was
incredibly rude, just likealways, and I, you know, I
(20:11):
mentioned the fact that you knowthe years didn't.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Diminish her attitude .
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Correct.
But I mean, what makes them somuch more important than her
that they can mistreat somebodyfor one reason or another?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
I mean who are they?
They're not.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
God.
So who are they?
They have zero reason to act asif they're better than her or
you or me or anybody else.
I mean, we're people, you know,and the whole respect thing is
out the window, but yet she'llhold an elevator door for an
elderly person and make thewhole elevator wait.
She'll open the door forsomebody.
She says please.
She says thank you, but yeah,that kid can hold her own.
(20:50):
There is no question that shecan't hold her own and you know
what.
She has a mouth on her and youknow what she's earned every
right to use it.
She has.
She sure has, but she won'tstart it, but she'll bring it.
I mean, she will bring ittenfold.
But that's just.
The kicker is, why do peoplebelieve that they are above
(21:12):
others?
You know, I was doing a classearlier today and somebody said
well, when you're not superfamous, or even famous really at
all, yet, how do you get yourname out there?
What would your billboard belike?
How would you do your billboard?
And then somebody said oh,victoria just has to have a face
like just do your face.
Said, oh, victoria just has tohave her face.
(21:33):
Like, just do your face.
I'm like that's not true.
And they said you know, you'reso humble about who you are and
where you are that you don'teither see it or you just don't
accept it.
And I don't.
I put well, I can't say that.
I was gonna say I put my pantson, just like everybody else but
that's not necessarily true, ifeverybody put their pants on
one-handed.
I put my pants on like everybodyelse, but I am no different
(21:53):
than my husband and my daughterand you know, Joey bag of donuts
, but I would say that I'mbetter than the narcissistic
abuser who constantly wants totorment and torture people
because they're unhappy withthemselves.
Instead of hurting others, whydon't you work on yourself?
(22:13):
Why don't you take?
a minute take a piece of paper.
Hell, do it in crayon if you'renot sophisticated enough to
write and pin and write downyour, your things about you that
are just evil.
They're horrible, heartless.
Why is it start?
With one basic question why doyou get satisfaction from
(22:37):
hurting others?
What a powerful way to startright.
Just take a piece of paper,write the number one and a dot
beside it I'm gonna break thisdown kindergarten style and
write, even if you have likewhatever, just write.
You can like short it.
Instead of the word y, writethe letter y and then do I get
(22:58):
enjoyment from seeing pain inothers, like why, and you know
what one of the things that wedid in one of the Yale courses
was we tried to figure out howthat is.
And the professor says if youcan't figure out how they get
satisfaction, congratulations,you will never be and never are
(23:19):
one of them Like, I can help yousolve it and I can help you
figure out why, but I can't bein the mindset to say well, they
want to make you miserablebecause X, y and Z, just like
that because that makes me nodifferent than them.
But I can't wrap around my headwhy somebody wants to bring
misery, uncertainty, defamationof character to somebody else,
(23:44):
especially a child, especially abeautiful child who said
nothing to you.
You know that's why you breakthe cycle.
But let's start with breakingyourself down.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Break it down, why do ?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
I get enjoyment from hurting someone else.
Why do I love to have a hugecauldron with a big freaking
spoon?
Why do I love to stir that potof drama?
Why do I need drama and hatingother people to be my air of
life, like that is my air?
Speaker 2 (24:17):
now that that begs the question, dr victoria, and
get your answer sure, um?
Are there wires crossed?
Is there something mentallywrong with them, or is it
they're upbreaking?
Speaker 1 (24:30):
no, well then, you and I would be or is it
self-taught?
It's self-taught.
You and I would be nuts.
Now we have the opportunity tocontinue on the pattern, but you
and I decided to break thecycle right.
So we broke the cycle, but no,and think about it like this,
and this is horrible so justbear with me a minute because
you'll see the point.
A narcissist is so manipulativeright that their game is so
(24:55):
manipulative and so like justtedious to every point that they
do.
I mean, think about it likeit's so planned out, it's
premeditated in its own way,that the the logic or lack
thereof right that they put intoit to bring misery onto others,
(25:17):
to bring them down to thatlevel that this individual is
sitting at, doesn't make them.
I mean it's almost calculatedin so many ways and it's it's a
little horrifying.
It's a little horrifying, Imean, when you think about it,
because anybody can have a badday.
(25:38):
Oh, I lost my arm, and what doI do?
I think my entire or staff priorto them whacking it off.
But I'm not this evil, horrific, few my french bitch about it.
Now you know, I tell kids I'mcaptain hook's sister you know,
I just lost my and they love it.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
They think it's hysterical now it's the adults
that stare more than anything.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
You know, I haven't gotten acclimated and it's been
a couple years, but I mean,there's still things people said
you'll never tie your shoeagain.
I tie my shoe, my shoe.
I can do it, thank you.
But the thing is is that, areyou going to allow yourself to
fall into the pattern, or areyou better than that and you can
(26:22):
dust yourself off and startwith number one?
What is it about me that lovesto see others suffer?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
May I interject something?
Yes, for those dirty-mindedrednecks out there, she did say
whack it off.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Oh my, I didn't even.
Okay, that's where you are withthat.
Oh my Lord, seriously, I wouldsay it's electr, electrifying,
but I'm getting that right now?
No, seriously, but I mean, whythink about it?
Speaker 2 (27:00):
you can't answer that question I can't because I just
can't.
I can't fathom, I can't, Icannot, I just can't.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Here's the perfect example, and I'm gonna shrink
you for a second, even thoughI'm not a shrink.
Let me ask you a question.
I want you to imagine not watchit.
I want you to imagine notgiving two rats the hounds about
Faith when she's in thehospital.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Ooh.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
And like what.
Going surfing, doing somethingselfish, just everyday life
without caring about it, butposting about it and asking for
prayers, and putting on a facade, a mask, if you will.
How?
Speaker 2 (27:41):
does that?
That would weigh on you so much, not some people.
I mean, if let's say, okay, shewas in the hospital, you're
there beside her, yes, and I'mout at Longhorns eating a steak
dinner and you never check onher Right Eating a steak dinner
with life support on that child.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
In full organ failure .
Speaker 2 (28:05):
No, way no.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
And I mean you.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
There's no way.
I couldn't know it.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
You had tears in your eyes right now.
You were crying when you werethere.
You were the most loving father,fat her, fat her, but no,
seriously, you were so devotedand you are so devoted to her.
But how does a narcissistjustify knowing that they have a
(28:31):
family member in the hospitalin that nature?
But then, when they do finallyspeak to you, they show no
remorse, they show no like, hey,how are you doing now?
How are you now?
You know nothing, nothing likethat mean.
Do you think that person canchange who they are and would
(28:54):
you allow them back around faithagain?
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Very tentatively as we are doing.
We are very protective, so wehave allowed both of them around
her.
Well, somewhat.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
And we're like I said , we're watching.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
We're listening, we're watching Our faith says
your actions speak louder thanthe words, and that is so true
for her.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
So then, what, as her dad, what do you do from there?
Speaker 2 (29:32):
I don't know yet we haven't gotten that far.
I was going to plug your booksin here somewhere, but we
haven't.
That moment's gone.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
Back.
Well, I'm almost done releasingmy next book.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Excuse me.
Excuse me what?
You have 41 classes under yourbelt.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
No, not 41 classes See Listen to you, I mean 41
books.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Sorry, you have 41 books published.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
But they're not all on Amazon.
They're different places.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
You have probably I don't know 97 classes listed.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
And now you're writing a third book.
How long is it?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
a third book.
If I've written 41?
, it's going to revolve aroundthe first two, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Not exactly.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
No, it's going to be a pre-sequel sequel.
No.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Am I right?
No, close, no, okay, so I'mtotally different.
Yes, okay, good.
So your first book was who KeepFirst?
By Victoria Curieie, and theprequel to that was Nort Nort
who's there, correct?
By Victoria Curie.
Yes, now look it up, amazon.
(30:49):
What I'm proud of you.
I'm always proud of you, woman.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Even when people question my memory.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Yes, I have a horrible memory, but you
remember everything,unfortunately.
I have a horrible memory, butyou remember everything,
unfortunately.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
It's a curse.
It really is, it's just not.
It's not a gift people.
It's a gift.
It's not a gift.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
Earlier you were speaking and you and Dana sat up
just like what y'all weretalking about from the heart and
stuff, and I was like because Ilisten to some of her TikToks
when I'm sitting on the throne,yeah, Wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
So you're sitting on the throne listening to my
sister from another mister.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yes, I scroll through TikTok while I'm sitting on the
throne.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
I don't even know where to take that.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
You know it's for entertainment purposes only.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
So plop, plop, fizz, fizz.
Hey David, what a relief, whatno?
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Don't tell Dana, oh Lord.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Seriously, there's just something wrong with that
no, most guys do it.
That's why you have hemorrhoids.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
No hemorrhoids from driving so damn much.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
No hemorrhoids are proven, that men are getting
more and more hemorrhoidsbecause they're sitting in the
toilet and what Scrolling onsocial media.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
No, bullshit, bullshit.
I'm calling bullshit.
All you guys out there callbullshit.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
No, they're all sitting on a donut saying she's
right man.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
She's right, my booty hurts.
That's because they'restraining Right While they're on
.
You don't strain.
If you're scrolling, you don'tstrain.
True, that's true.
You let it flow natural, lord.
When your legs go numb and fallasleep.
That's when you get up.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
How do you get up if your legs are numb?
Speaker 2 (32:41):
You just soldier through it.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
You have to say that.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Oh hey, I was a soldier, I was Air Force.
I was proud of it.
I wear my Air Force hat everyday.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Can I even buy them for you?
You do?
Speaker 2 (32:56):
I carry my car with me everywhere.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Yeah, I'm married to a redhead car.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
I'm proud to have served my country.
I'm happy.
Always I wish our kids would gono.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Faith can't go.
Faith can't go in the military.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
No, I won't let her.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
You won't let her.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
That's my baby girl.
Don't tell her.
I said that, oh, I can't.
She'd be in like no girl.
Don't tell her.
I said that she's being like no, no.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Can you imagine just for a moment?
Speaker 2 (33:27):
No, Think about it no One drill sergeant get up in
her face.
That'd be over.
That drill sergeant's laid out.
She gets that from her mama, bythe way.
Y'all Stucco's doing great,Stucco's mama's great.
They recently had a spa day.
Oh, let me show you.
And you can describe this.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
You can describe this .
So this morning I go in thereinto Faith's room, okay, and
Stucco made her his way intoFaith's bedroom and I want you
to describe this danger.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
I took.
Alright, the bedroom is a messof shambles.
Our dog stuck out.
Our dog stuck out.
Golden retriever of 88 pounds.
Be quiet, that's my baby.
It appears that he is laying,he is cheering her laying behind
(34:24):
her as close as possible,snuggling our daughter with both
his legs up on her, just like alittle human would.
He is snuggling her from behind.
It is the cutest thing he hasone paw over her.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
He has another paw on her shoulder.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
And then his head and mouth are resting on her head.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
On her head.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
It's adorable.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
He's not a picture taker.
He let me take this picture.
And he just laid there with her.
Did you push it?
No?
No, she asked me not to.
So there with her.
Did you post it?
No, I would have posted it.
No, she asked me not to.
So I respect her.
He was so cute and sweet.
You even said he has such agood disposition.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
He's so sweet.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Did you hear that baby Funny.
That's my boy, that's my baby.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
He's a fat boy.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Really.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
So what have you got?
Speaker 1 (35:25):
going on next week besides getting remarried.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
That's enough.
Uh-uh, you're turning 50.
50, what?
No one likes to turn 50.
Well, that's because you're notturning 50.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
No one likes turning 51 either Is that's because
you're not turning 50.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
No one likes 3051 either.
Better than the alternative.
What 49?
Speaker 1 (35:45):
No, not being here anymore, Cracking the bottom of
your coffee.
Oh, that's nasty.
Let's start around.
That's nasty.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
It's better than the alternative not being here at
all.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
That's a good cappuccino I make.
Could you focus?
I'm very focused.
Yeah, so when will we bebuilding things that are
downstairs in boxes?
We're talking about podcasting.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Yep, I hope, so that we can talk about this more.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
So when will you be constructing all of which you
said that our daughter needed?
Speaker 2 (36:25):
And that should wrap up the show for tonight.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
No, you're the one who spoils her.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
Seriously, that's my baby doll.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
I said that once I have it, I can replay it.
No, oh yeah, I've got it onrecording.
Uh-huh, and besides, I knowwhat she's doing for you on your
birthday.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
So for those of y'all who think a narcissist can
change, reach out to us.
We have on our website.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
you can contact us and we'll respond, Get you on
the show or just write it downand we'll read it on the air and
if you're a narcissist, most ofthe time you will identify
yourself as a narcissist.
Ask yourself that question andsend us your answer.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
I would love to know if narcissists or come on the
show.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
It's not common that a narcissist would love to know.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
It's not common that a narcissist would want to come
on and show themselves as anarcissist.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
They're not going to want to come on and do that.
But a narcissist is not goingto want to come out of their
home or their house without thatmask, metaphorically, so that's
just not going to happen, sothat won't happen.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Very often so again, Victoria's doing great from the
recent surgeries and we're sorrythat it took so long to get
back on air, but I felt the needto put this aside.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
It has nothing to do with the fact you think your
voice is bad, even though myvoice is horrible.
No, it's not.
Even though I've got so manypeople who you've been a guest
on their show, who says you're amagnificent guest, and they
love, love, love, love, lovehaving you on.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Thank y'all for listening to Unstoppable A
Contagious Smile In our littlebitty office I don't know how we
get by with, but we do.
Those of y'all looking to startyour own podcast.
My wife does help you out withthe classes.
She teaches a class and she hasother friends that are great
(38:37):
helping get started on podcasts.
Check out the website,thecontagiousspinalcom, and
everything we do?
What about that mighty place?
I forgot that one.
The mighty yes.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Our online academy is called Roots and Leaves,
because you can settle down andlearn to flourish.
We have four differentcollection areas.
Um, we have one for speckosquad, which is for our kids.
Whether you have special needsor you just want to have some
(39:13):
fun, there's some great classesin there.
We have safe haven forsurvivors of all sorts of abuse,
including narcissism, which isa very toxic abuse not that they
all aren't, because they areand we have the limitless tribe
for recovery of anything, evenfrom abuse.
We have some in there as well.
(39:34):
And then we have the podcastgross, where we teach you how we
went from literally zerofollowers to millions, all of
the countless thousands of hoursand dollars and everything else
that went into learning whatworks and what doesn't work and
how to have a podcast.
(39:56):
That's in the top.
We've been as great as onepercent, but then, when faith
was in the hospital, we got upto five percent because we took
time off justifiably to be withher, and then we got down to
three percent and then I thinkwe're back at two um one of the
other podcasts is at one and ahalf percent, but globally
that's pretty impressive and sowhat was the last?
(40:20):
I mean, each of the podcastsgets six figure down notes.
So I mean, that's no, it'sbecause of our amazing followers
yes and if you go on uh, podstars like pop yeah, pop stars,
uh, I'll put the link in theshow notes.
They sent me a video that Iincluded in our instagram reel
(40:41):
that they used me as one oftheir spokespeople to advertise
for it's kind of like thecompetitor of canva uh cameo.
Sorry, kind of like cameo, soit's like a pepsi coke kind of
um thing.
But pop stars, uh, you can go onthere I'm right next to um john
schneider, which is veryexciting and go on there, talk
(41:04):
to him, or you could talk to me,and then you could also go on
their, like you know,competition, which is cameo, and
I'm on there too, and, uh, yourown cameo.
I yeah, and they got on meabout the fact that.
I don't charge what they thinkI should but, I don't think you
should have to pay $3,200 totalk to somebody that's you know
(41:25):
somebody you want to reach outto.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
It's a celebrity.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
I'm not a celebrity.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
I don't know why they think that but you know, hey,
Well, y'all go check her out onCameo Victoria Curie.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
C-U-O-R yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
C-U-O-R.
Yeah, y'all, we're signing off.
Have a good night and we'll seey'all.
Oh, what's today?
Tuesday?
We'll be back on this weekend.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
I have it recorded.
Now I know what are you goingto do.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
End the recording.
Bye y'all.
I didn't hear it.
We're still recording.
Good evening and welcome to another episode of A
Pentecost Smile Unstoppable.
You have the redhead and theredneck.
He's jaw jacking on some cereal.
What would that be called?
Not jaw jacking?
What would it be You're goingto come up with?
Like it's eating, babe, that'sright.
So we've been a little busylately, don't you think?
(00:31):
Mm-hmm, uh-huh.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
So let me clarify this Y'all.
We've been gone for about threeweeks now, three weeks.
Something like that we have notput out a podcast and this is
the reason.
It's my fault.
It's not my wife's fault, it ismy fault, Something like that.
We have not put out a podcastand this is the reason.
It's my fault.
It's not my wife's fault, it ismy fault.
It is not.
It is that POS and that doctor.
It's their fault, anyway.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
There's a little more toxicity than that.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
But my wife has undergone two additional
surgeries in the past threeweeks.
Yeah, I didn't feel the need toput her health behind the
podcast, so I made her rest.
(01:20):
I made her sit on her butt.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
I still worked.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
I made her lay in the bed and so we didn't put out a
podcast.
So I do apologize for all youfaithful listeners out there.
You know we have severalhundred thousands on each
different platform, so you knowwe apologize, but I hope you all
understand.
(01:44):
having had the two surgeries, mywife is doing much, much better
.
Thank you all.
If you all follow her onFacebook or wherever, you'll see
that or hear that she isprobably somewhere between 80 to
92% pain less than she wasbefore.
2% pain less than she wasbefore.
(02:08):
She's a warrior, y'all.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Okay, that's quiet airtime.
Anyway, thanks babe.
I did a trial stem router forpain.
I also have CRPS, complexregional pain syndrome.
Not that this was this show isabout cause, it's not and I had
to do a temporary whichprohibited me from like
(02:34):
basically turning, twisting,bending anything, and the device
was externally placed upon myback and I wore it to see what
kind of relief I could get andit was amazing.
And then they pulled it out,cut stitches and then I got my
(02:56):
implanted device.
It was complicated surgery but,knock on wood, it all came out.
now I'm learning to live withthis and it's just one more
thing for me to plug in and plugout and I mean I really should
get better life.
I'm just like right, I meancome on now and I really think
they should be giving me likefree hbo at this point.
(03:17):
I mean he's just looking at melike this.
Okay, so we haven't reallytalked about, you know, our
foundation of how we help peoplesurvive domestic violence and
other types of abuse and thenall of a sudden, you know how
they, it's like the calm beforethe storm, and then all of a
sudden it's like whoosh, welcometo toxicity hell.
(03:39):
And that's where we have been.
We got just a Tosani.
What Did I say?
It wrong?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yes, you did.
You have three freaking doctors.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
So sleep deprived.
You probably have a 6.0.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
GPA.
I don't know if that's possible.
And you said a Tosami Tsunami.
Oh my God, yeah Y'all.
I've done Red Dead Fire tsunami.
Oh my God, Y'all.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
I've read that fire.
Wow, I can't believe I did that.
We had a tsunami of toxicity inthe last ten days.
We'll just go down seven.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
We had so much.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And any of you know, us know that the fundamentals of
our home because it's a home,not a house, and there's a huge
difference is simply fame nodrama, no toxicity,
unconditional love andacceptance and my husband's
chowing down on.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I've been looking for that duster, that feather
duster.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Left field hello.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Well, I need to dust some things in the house.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
The home.
We need to dust some toxicityout.
So this is really the basis ofour foundation, of what we talk
about and where would you sayour toxicity?
Level was taken to in the lastweek.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
We just had some old family members reacquaint
themselves with us out of leftfield, and it's you know.
So how do you read that?
You know, that you know.
After years and years of notspeaking to certain family
members, all of a sudden, herethey come out of left field, one
(05:25):
right after the other.
You're like what the heck isgoing on.
You know where's this comingfrom.
Are we being tried?
Are we being tested?
You know, is something going on.
You know the universe is sayingsomething we don't know, so
we're riding it out.
We're seeing how it's going.
Can we talk about?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
this for a minute.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
You can talk about it .
I'm going to continue eating myvittles and then you can add in
here.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
So, first thing, we were so happy to see my
husband's brother reach out andtalk to him and that was awesome
and they had a pretty lengthyconversation him and that was
awesome and they had a prettylengthy conversation and it was
asked if we would considertalking to his mom and we have
(06:14):
been no contact for a while andhis brother was very forthcoming
and saying that all he knew hedidn't have her side of the
story.
All he knew is what she hadtold him.
Correct me if I'm wrong which hesaid to us?
All she said was it was all ourfault and that's all the story
(06:39):
he knew.
That was what he said, right?
Nobody can see you shake yourhead.
I'm trying to figure out whereyou're going with this.
That's what he said, right?
Nobody can see you shake yourhead.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
I'm trying to figure out where you're going with this
.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Well, that's what he said, right.
But here's the thing and I talkabout this so much when I'm
talking with other people- whenI'm helping other people who are
in the healing process is doyou believe a narcissist can
change like perfect example, mysperm donor?
Do I believe he could change.
(07:09):
This is the very first time inmy entire life that I have ever
taken the stance that I haveafter.
We were no contact with themand literally I haven't been
reaching out and calling him ortexting him or or anything and
he came to you wanting to talkto you.
And then the next thing I knowhe needed something and this is
(07:32):
how it went, but I, for thefirst time ever, haven't you
know, reached back out because Imean, you nailed it when you
said it's about money with him,like it's all about money and
that's how some people are.
I want you to see how importantI am by all the monetary things
that I can show.
(07:52):
That doesn't impress me at all.
You've known that for 25 years.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I'll interject and say the answer is no.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
You don't think a narcissist can change?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
No, I believe they can persuade you that they're on
the straight and narrow,they're on the right path to
recovery.
They can glamorize what they'redoing Right, but the telltale
signs come out and they may noteven know it, but we've seen it
(08:29):
in both sides and it's not goingto change.
So I think the answer is no.
If you're asking me, if you'reasking the audience, the
listeners, no, I mean maybethey've had somebody in their
life.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
I would love for them to tell me about it, because in
the years that I've beenhelping people and working on on
this platform, I've never metone that changed.
I mean I haven't.
They might change likesomething about them physically
to make themselves appeardifferent, but internal
psychologically they don'tchange.
Like something about themphysically to make themselves
appear different, but internalpsychologically they don't
(09:08):
change.
So we end up having this we cantalk about both.
We end up having thisconversation and, um, the tables
have turned with my biologicalfamily where you know they've
reached out because they needsomething.
They wanted to let me knowabout some things that have
happened to my biological motherand I feel horrible that she
(09:31):
has gone through what she has.
But it's just ironic when I'mtold you have no idea what it's
like to take care of somebodywho has medical needs, and
anybody who knows me or ourdaughter faith knows I don't
even know how to summarize thatright.
I mean, between the two of uswe have like 150 some surgeries
(09:52):
most of them, thank god, aremine, because who wants their
child to endure anything likethat and to to complain about
having to take care?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
of your spouse.
I couldn't fathom it, I willtake care of my husband.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
I'll wipe his butt, I will blow his nose.
Yeah, baby, come on, I willtend to his needs, no matter
what.
I won't put him in a home, Ijust won't.
I don't care, I won't do it.
I'll be like I'll put on myprosthetic and that has a hell
of a gripper.
I'll do what I need to do.
If I need to pull you on asheet or something, I'll get
that prosthetic on and use thatstrength of that gripper on that
(10:29):
hand, but to hear that, that'sheart-wrenching.
And then we get that story fromyour brother and then your mom
calls and what really botheredme is she said three things
really got to her and the threethings that got to her had to do
with her leaving dog food inthe bedroom, which caused bugs,
(10:54):
her messing up a couch and hertelling our daughter what to do
basically.
Telling our daughter what to dobasically.
And those three things trumpedher feeling the need to even
contact us when we almost lostfaith, and I could see the pain
in my husband's face and eyesand it really hurt him, because
(11:18):
there is no excuse for anybodyI'm not just talking about her
In general.
so many people on either side,nobody reached out to say what
can we do?
How can we help?
You know, just pray about it.
But so quickly we were and Imean them to post about it to
get sympathy from others.
I mean, how do you comprehendthat?
(11:41):
How do you justify that in yourmind?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Um, I don't.
So, going back to what I saidearlier, there was a death in
the family of friends circleback on my side of the family
(12:07):
and that's when my brotherreached out.
After three years no contactreached out.
Okay, and that's how theconversation got going with my
mother and you know, excuse me,I just burped the fact that
(12:30):
they're excuse me, y'all.
I'm burping on my hair.
That's rude, the fact that thatyou know they're realizing hey,
you know, we're only aheartbeat away from death.
Their perspective changed and,and I believe that's why- we
were contacted.
Okay, on my wife's side, herfather reached out to us shortly
(12:57):
after her mother had a stroke.
So now his perspective haschanged because he's having to
take care of his wife morephysically and it's taken a toll
on him, and so his perspectivehas changed, as my mother and
(13:18):
brother's perspective haschanged.
So, you know, can a narcissistchange?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
I don't know, I don't think so, but it would have to
be a huge how do you justifythat None of those people you
just named, plus so many more,never reached out when faith was
literally complete organfailure, until it would make it
to tonight, and they all knewabout it?
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Right, but it's not right there in front of them.
It's not their child.
It was when they reposted it.
It's not their child.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
It was when they reposted it for sympathy.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
It's not their child.
It was when they reposted itfor sympathy.
It's not their child, right?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
It's their grandchild , it's their niece, it's their
but that doesn't make it okay,it's their friend who it was, a
friend who made everybodycontact you.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
It's not a niece, it's not a grandchild I can't
answer for them.
Right.
But the heavy part of it is isthat immediately I'm told well,
I know what she's about to saybecause of her tone.
You don't know what I'm going tosay because, right or wrong, I
said, if they reach out duringthis ordeal with faith, we need
to take the walls down and havethe support and the whole time,
(14:25):
you know what, and I've saidthis a million times, like the
end of time, literally, I havesaid I don't care, and my
husband's so, gentle, and sweetabout this with me because I
told him I was like you want toreconnect, that's on you, but,
and he was like, no, they needto contact my wife and they need
to contact my daughter.
I was like I don't care aboutme, I care about my daughter.
Why are you laughing?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
you call me gentle you are in ways.
I'm a big, soft stocky but Idon't care.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
You know that they don't ask about me.
I don't care about that.
I care about our daughter and Icare about you.
But even when they were on thephone, it wasn't.
How is she doing since thishappened?
It wasn't.
You know how has she been?
And then, even when she triedto speak her, her say it was I
don't like what you said to me.
Well, she was a child at thetime and, without going into any
(15:18):
of the specifics, that doesn'tmake it justifiable.
You're supposed to be the adultright and so I'm the one that
she decides to talk about on youknow all platforms that.
Well, if ever read her tiktok,she'll never accept my apology.
Well, I would if it was genuineyou know when you come after my
family.
This is a three team unit and wehave been happy and trauma-free
(15:44):
and drama-free and nottrauma-free trauma and I mean
and I'm talking about in therealm of narcissism.
I'm talking about in the realmand I you know, unfortunately I
hate to say.
I'm an expert in narcissism,but a lot of big universities
say that I am you know, and toknow and I even said I know
what's coming next.
Watch.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
And it was exactly.
And I don't want to be right.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I want to be proven wrong.
Show me to be proven wrong.
Show me right, just show me.
And that's the problem is thattoday, in general, people are
all about themselves.
you very rarely find somebodywho genuinely cares about others
right like it's notwholesomeness is gone out the
window and in the trash andthat's so sad, it really is, and
(16:31):
it's just like if you start toget close to somebody and then
you realize the facade that'sbeing played, then they're going
to spin it on you becauseyou're not supposed to be able
to figure them out Right, andthat's not what life is about.
I mean, you and I have both beenthrough trauma and and like
emotionally and physically andpsychologically abusive partners
(16:56):
and family members and I I'mtrying not to look at my husband
because if he starts slurpingthe milk and the cereal I'm
gonna laugh but we have bothbeen through like horrific
individuals, both intimately andin family, and you just want to
look at them and say what iswrong with you, Life is too
short, why and what makeswhatever you're doing so
(17:19):
important that you can't takefive minutes Right and just say
and the answer was well, Ididn't think he would talk to me
Are you?
Are you serious?
Like you?
Don't think we talked to you?
our daughter was in there onlife support, told we'd make her
comfortable through the nighthell.
One of them lives 30 minutesaway right it doesn't matter I
(17:43):
mean it's not advantageous fortheir growth and because of that
you're not going to hear fromthem until it's necessary that
they need something from you,and we're learning that.
And I mean, unfortunately, weknow it, but and it was just
like a too too much at one timeit was just like whoosh, here's
this huge wave of narcissists,like in a line that just got
(18:04):
picked up by a wave in the oceanand just landed at us, and the
thing is is is that you knowwhat?
Do you want to spend your lifedealing with the unhappiness of
others, because misery lovescompany, or do you want to have
happiness in your life?
Do you want unconditional love?
Do you want to look at yourspouse sitting across from you
(18:26):
and thank God that you have himor her because of how lucky you
are?
You know, my husband and I aregetting remarried next week.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Yippee, what that was , genuine, that was not genuine.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
That was genuine, that was not genuine.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
I promise it was.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
No, it wasn't Watch.
I can get him to say whoopeejust the same.
There's like eight boxes of methat you build with stuff in
there.
What See, what see.
But that's just me.
His life is too short.
But you know what I look at,how you look at faith and how
she don't make that curly look.
You're not elvis, and I see howmuch you just love her and I
(19:06):
see the genuineness and softnessof your heart to her.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Excuse me.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
And it's so authentic and sweet.
And why would anybody want tosettle for anything other than
that?
Like the realists, need to seethat that's what life is about.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Get rid of the toxicity, get rid of the
negativity, get rid of theheartache and enjoy life.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
I mean, look how much of a fighter Faith is right.
That kid is a fighter.
No, she's a warrior.
That kid is a warrior, and tohave she's got scars prove it.
Yes, she does, and she wearsthem like a badge of honor, as
she should, as she should.
And you know, I will say thisis.
(19:50):
I'll get some slack for thisand that's okay.
There was a girl who lived inthe neighborhood that was very
rude to our daughter, um, formultiple reasons, and I hadn't
seen her in a while, and then Idid see her and she was
incredibly rude, just likealways, and I, you know, I
(20:11):
mentioned the fact that you knowthe years didn't.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Diminish her attitude .
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Correct.
But I mean, what makes them somuch more important than her
that they can mistreat somebodyfor one reason or another?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
I mean who are they?
They're not.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
God.
So who are they?
They have zero reason to act asif they're better than her or
you or me or anybody else.
I mean, we're people, you know,and the whole respect thing is
out the window, but yet she'llhold an elevator door for an
elderly person and make thewhole elevator wait.
She'll open the door forsomebody.
She says please.
She says thank you, but yeah,that kid can hold her own.
(20:50):
There is no question that shecan't hold her own and you know
what.
She has a mouth on her and youknow what she's earned every
right to use it.
She has.
She sure has, but she won'tstart it, but she'll bring it.
I mean, she will bring ittenfold.
But that's just.
The kicker is, why do peoplebelieve that they are above
(21:12):
others?
You know, I was doing a classearlier today and somebody said
well, when you're not superfamous, or even famous really at
all, yet, how do you get yourname out there?
What would your billboard belike?
How would you do your billboard?
And then somebody said oh,victoria just has to have a face
like just do your face.
Said, oh, victoria just has tohave her face.
(21:33):
Like, just do your face.
I'm like that's not true.
And they said you know, you'reso humble about who you are and
where you are that you don'teither see it or you just don't
accept it.
And I don't.
I put well, I can't say that.
I was gonna say I put my pantson, just like everybody else but
that's not necessarily true, ifeverybody put their pants on
one-handed.
I put my pants on like everybodyelse, but I am no different
(21:53):
than my husband and my daughterand you know, Joey bag of donuts
, but I would say that I'mbetter than the narcissistic
abuser who constantly wants totorment and torture people
because they're unhappy withthemselves.
Instead of hurting others, whydon't you work on yourself?
(22:13):
Why don't you take?
a minute take a piece of paper.
Hell, do it in crayon if you'renot sophisticated enough to
write and pin and write downyour, your things about you that
are just evil.
They're horrible, heartless.
Why is it start?
With one basic question why doyou get satisfaction from
(22:37):
hurting others?
What a powerful way to startright.
Just take a piece of paper,write the number one and a dot
beside it I'm gonna break thisdown kindergarten style and
write, even if you have likewhatever, just write.
You can like short it.
Instead of the word y, writethe letter y and then do I get
(22:58):
enjoyment from seeing pain inothers, like why, and you know
what one of the things that wedid in one of the Yale courses
was we tried to figure out howthat is.
And the professor says if youcan't figure out how they get
satisfaction, congratulations,you will never be and never are
(23:19):
one of them Like, I can help yousolve it and I can help you
figure out why, but I can't bein the mindset to say well, they
want to make you miserablebecause X, y and Z, just like
that because that makes me nodifferent than them.
But I can't wrap around my headwhy somebody wants to bring
misery, uncertainty, defamationof character to somebody else,
(23:44):
especially a child, especially abeautiful child who said
nothing to you.
You know that's why you breakthe cycle.
But let's start with breakingyourself down.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Break it down, why do ?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
I get enjoyment from hurting someone else.
Why do I love to have a hugecauldron with a big freaking
spoon?
Why do I love to stir that potof drama?
Why do I need drama and hatingother people to be my air of
life, like that is my air?
Speaker 2 (24:17):
now that that begs the question, dr victoria, and
get your answer sure, um?
Are there wires crossed?
Is there something mentallywrong with them, or is it
they're upbreaking?
Speaker 1 (24:30):
no, well then, you and I would be or is it
self-taught?
It's self-taught.
You and I would be nuts.
Now we have the opportunity tocontinue on the pattern, but you
and I decided to break thecycle right.
So we broke the cycle, but no,and think about it like this,
and this is horrible so justbear with me a minute because
you'll see the point.
A narcissist is so manipulativeright that their game is so
(24:55):
manipulative and so like justtedious to every point that they
do.
I mean, think about it likeit's so planned out, it's
premeditated in its own way,that the the logic or lack
thereof right that they put intoit to bring misery onto others,
(25:17):
to bring them down to thatlevel that this individual is
sitting at, doesn't make them.
I mean it's almost calculatedin so many ways and it's it's a
little horrifying.
It's a little horrifying, Imean, when you think about it,
because anybody can have a badday.
(25:38):
Oh, I lost my arm, and what doI do?
I think my entire or staff priorto them whacking it off.
But I'm not this evil, horrific, few my french bitch about it.
Now you know, I tell kids I'mcaptain hook's sister you know,
I just lost my and they love it.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
They think it's hysterical now it's the adults
that stare more than anything.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
You know, I haven't gotten acclimated and it's been
a couple years, but I mean,there's still things people said
you'll never tie your shoeagain.
I tie my shoe, my shoe.
I can do it, thank you.
But the thing is is that, areyou going to allow yourself to
fall into the pattern, or areyou better than that and you can
(26:22):
dust yourself off and startwith number one?
What is it about me that lovesto see others suffer?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
May I interject something?
Yes, for those dirty-mindedrednecks out there, she did say
whack it off.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Oh my, I didn't even.
Okay, that's where you are withthat.
Oh my Lord, seriously, I wouldsay it's electr, electrifying,
but I'm getting that right now?
No, seriously, but I mean, whythink about it?
Speaker 2 (27:00):
you can't answer that question I can't because I just
can't.
I can't fathom, I can't, Icannot, I just can't.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Here's the perfect example, and I'm gonna shrink
you for a second, even thoughI'm not a shrink.
Let me ask you a question.
I want you to imagine not watchit.
I want you to imagine notgiving two rats the hounds about
Faith when she's in thehospital.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Ooh.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
And like what.
Going surfing, doing somethingselfish, just everyday life
without caring about it, butposting about it and asking for
prayers, and putting on a facade, a mask, if you will.
How?
Speaker 2 (27:41):
does that?
That would weigh on you so much, not some people.
I mean, if let's say, okay, shewas in the hospital, you're
there beside her, yes, and I'mout at Longhorns eating a steak
dinner and you never check onher Right Eating a steak dinner
with life support on that child.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
In full organ failure .
Speaker 2 (28:05):
No, way no.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
And I mean you.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
There's no way.
I couldn't know it.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
You had tears in your eyes right now.
You were crying when you werethere.
You were the most loving father,fat her, fat her, but no,
seriously, you were so devotedand you are so devoted to her.
But how does a narcissistjustify knowing that they have a
(28:31):
family member in the hospitalin that nature?
But then, when they do finallyspeak to you, they show no
remorse, they show no like, hey,how are you doing now?
How are you now?
You know nothing, nothing likethat mean.
Do you think that person canchange who they are and would
(28:54):
you allow them back around faithagain?
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Very tentatively as we are doing.
We are very protective, so wehave allowed both of them around
her.
Well, somewhat.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
And we're like I said , we're watching.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
We're listening, we're watching Our faith says
your actions speak louder thanthe words, and that is so true
for her.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
So then, what, as her dad, what do you do from there?
Speaker 2 (29:32):
I don't know yet we haven't gotten that far.
I was going to plug your booksin here somewhere, but we
haven't.
That moment's gone.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
Back.
Well, I'm almost done releasingmy next book.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Excuse me.
Excuse me what?
You have 41 classes under yourbelt.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
No, not 41 classes See Listen to you, I mean 41
books.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Sorry, you have 41 books published.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
But they're not all on Amazon.
They're different places.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
You have probably I don't know 97 classes listed.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
And now you're writing a third book.
How long is it?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
a third book.
If I've written 41?
, it's going to revolve aroundthe first two, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Not exactly.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
No, it's going to be a pre-sequel sequel.
No.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Am I right?
No, close, no, okay, so I'mtotally different.
Yes, okay, good.
So your first book was who KeepFirst?
By Victoria Curieie, and theprequel to that was Nort Nort
who's there, correct?
By Victoria Curie.
Yes, now look it up, amazon.
(30:49):
What I'm proud of you.
I'm always proud of you, woman.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Even when people question my memory.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Yes, I have a horrible memory, but you
remember everything,unfortunately.
I have a horrible memory, butyou remember everything,
unfortunately.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
It's a curse.
It really is, it's just not.
It's not a gift people.
It's a gift.
It's not a gift.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
Earlier you were speaking and you and Dana sat up
just like what y'all weretalking about from the heart and
stuff, and I was like because Ilisten to some of her TikToks
when I'm sitting on the throne,yeah, Wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
So you're sitting on the throne listening to my
sister from another mister.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yes, I scroll through TikTok while I'm sitting on the
throne.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
I don't even know where to take that.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
You know it's for entertainment purposes only.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
So plop, plop, fizz, fizz.
Hey David, what a relief, whatno?
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Don't tell Dana, oh Lord.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Seriously, there's just something wrong with that
no, most guys do it.
That's why you have hemorrhoids.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
No hemorrhoids from driving so damn much.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
No hemorrhoids are proven, that men are getting
more and more hemorrhoidsbecause they're sitting in the
toilet and what Scrolling onsocial media.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
No, bullshit, bullshit.
I'm calling bullshit.
All you guys out there callbullshit.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
No, they're all sitting on a donut saying she's
right man.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
She's right, my booty hurts.
That's because they'restraining Right While they're on
.
You don't strain.
If you're scrolling, you don'tstrain.
True, that's true.
You let it flow natural, lord.
When your legs go numb and fallasleep.
That's when you get up.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
How do you get up if your legs are numb?
Speaker 2 (32:41):
You just soldier through it.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
You have to say that.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Oh hey, I was a soldier, I was Air Force.
I was proud of it.
I wear my Air Force hat everyday.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Can I even buy them for you?
You do?
Speaker 2 (32:56):
I carry my car with me everywhere.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Yeah, I'm married to a redhead car.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
I'm proud to have served my country.
I'm happy.
Always I wish our kids would gono.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Faith can't go.
Faith can't go in the military.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
No, I won't let her.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
You won't let her.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
That's my baby girl.
Don't tell her.
I said that, oh, I can't.
She'd be in like no girl.
Don't tell her.
I said that she's being like no, no.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Can you imagine just for a moment?
Speaker 2 (33:27):
No, Think about it no One drill sergeant get up in
her face.
That'd be over.
That drill sergeant's laid out.
She gets that from her mama, bythe way.
Y'all Stucco's doing great,Stucco's mama's great.
They recently had a spa day.
Oh, let me show you.
And you can describe this.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
You can describe this .
So this morning I go in thereinto Faith's room, okay, and
Stucco made her his way intoFaith's bedroom and I want you
to describe this danger.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
I took.
Alright, the bedroom is a messof shambles.
Our dog stuck out.
Our dog stuck out.
Golden retriever of 88 pounds.
Be quiet, that's my baby.
It appears that he is laying,he is cheering her laying behind
(34:24):
her as close as possible,snuggling our daughter with both
his legs up on her, just like alittle human would.
He is snuggling her from behind.
It is the cutest thing he hasone paw over her.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
He has another paw on her shoulder.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
And then his head and mouth are resting on her head.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
On her head.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
It's adorable.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
He's not a picture taker.
He let me take this picture.
And he just laid there with her.
Did you push it?
No?
No, she asked me not to.
So there with her.
Did you post it?
No, I would have posted it.
No, she asked me not to.
So I respect her.
He was so cute and sweet.
You even said he has such agood disposition.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
He's so sweet.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Did you hear that baby Funny.
That's my boy, that's my baby.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
He's a fat boy.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Really.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
So what have you got?
Speaker 1 (35:25):
going on next week besides getting remarried.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
That's enough.
Uh-uh, you're turning 50.
50, what?
No one likes to turn 50.
Well, that's because you're notturning 50.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
No one likes turning 51 either Is that's because
you're not turning 50.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
No one likes 3051 either.
Better than the alternative.
What 49?
Speaker 1 (35:45):
No, not being here anymore, Cracking the bottom of
your coffee.
Oh, that's nasty.
Let's start around.
That's nasty.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
It's better than the alternative not being here at
all.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
That's a good cappuccino I make.
Could you focus?
I'm very focused.
Yeah, so when will we bebuilding things that are
downstairs in boxes?
We're talking about podcasting.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Yep, I hope, so that we can talk about this more.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
So when will you be constructing all of which you
said that our daughter needed?
Speaker 2 (36:25):
And that should wrap up the show for tonight.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
No, you're the one who spoils her.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
Seriously, that's my baby doll.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
I said that once I have it, I can replay it.
No, oh yeah, I've got it onrecording.
Uh-huh, and besides, I knowwhat she's doing for you on your
birthday.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
So for those of y'all who think a narcissist can
change, reach out to us.
We have on our website.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
you can contact us and we'll respond, Get you on
the show or just write it downand we'll read it on the air and
if you're a narcissist, most ofthe time you will identify
yourself as a narcissist.
Ask yourself that question andsend us your answer.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
I would love to know if narcissists or come on the
show.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
It's not common that a narcissist would love to know.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
It's not common that a narcissist would want to come
on and show themselves as anarcissist.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
They're not going to want to come on and do that.
But a narcissist is not goingto want to come out of their
home or their house without thatmask, metaphorically, so that's
just not going to happen, sothat won't happen.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Very often so again, Victoria's doing great from the
recent surgeries and we're sorrythat it took so long to get
back on air, but I felt the needto put this aside.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
It has nothing to do with the fact you think your
voice is bad, even though myvoice is horrible.
No, it's not.
Even though I've got so manypeople who you've been a guest
on their show, who says you're amagnificent guest, and they
love, love, love, love, lovehaving you on.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Thank y'all for listening to Unstoppable A
Contagious Smile In our littlebitty office I don't know how we
get by with, but we do.
Those of y'all looking to startyour own podcast.
My wife does help you out withthe classes.
She teaches a class and she hasother friends that are great
(38:37):
helping get started on podcasts.
Check out the website,thecontagiousspinalcom, and
everything we do?
What about that mighty place?
I forgot that one.
The mighty yes.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Our online academy is called Roots and Leaves,
because you can settle down andlearn to flourish.
We have four differentcollection areas.
Um, we have one for speckosquad, which is for our kids.
Whether you have special needsor you just want to have some
(39:13):
fun, there's some great classesin there.
We have safe haven forsurvivors of all sorts of abuse,
including narcissism, which isa very toxic abuse not that they
all aren't, because they areand we have the limitless tribe
for recovery of anything, evenfrom abuse.
We have some in there as well.
(39:34):
And then we have the podcastgross, where we teach you how we
went from literally zerofollowers to millions, all of
the countless thousands of hoursand dollars and everything else
that went into learning whatworks and what doesn't work and
how to have a podcast.
(39:56):
That's in the top.
We've been as great as onepercent, but then, when faith
was in the hospital, we got upto five percent because we took
time off justifiably to be withher, and then we got down to
three percent and then I thinkwe're back at two um one of the
other podcasts is at one and ahalf percent, but globally
that's pretty impressive and sowhat was the last?
(40:20):
I mean, each of the podcastsgets six figure down notes.
So I mean, that's no, it'sbecause of our amazing followers
yes and if you go on uh, podstars like pop yeah, pop stars,
uh, I'll put the link in theshow notes.
They sent me a video that Iincluded in our instagram reel
(40:41):
that they used me as one oftheir spokespeople to advertise
for it's kind of like thecompetitor of canva uh cameo.
Sorry, kind of like cameo, soit's like a pepsi coke kind of
um thing.
But pop stars, uh, you can go onthere I'm right next to um john
schneider, which is veryexciting and go on there, talk
(41:04):
to him, or you could talk to me,and then you could also go on
their, like you know,competition, which is cameo, and
I'm on there too, and, uh, yourown cameo.
I yeah, and they got on meabout the fact that.
I don't charge what they thinkI should but, I don't think you
should have to pay $3,200 totalk to somebody that's you know
(41:25):
somebody you want to reach outto.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
It's a celebrity.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
I'm not a celebrity.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
I don't know why they think that but you know, hey,
Well, y'all go check her out onCameo Victoria Curie.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
C-U-O-R yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
C-U-O-R.
Yeah, y'all, we're signing off.
Have a good night and we'll seey'all.
Oh, what's today?
Tuesday?
We'll be back on this weekend.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
I have it recorded.
Now I know what are you goingto do.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
End the recording.
Bye y'all.
I didn't hear it.
We're still recording.
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