68-Kick it Up, Or Take a Break, What's Your Me Time?

Hello and Welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman.

As many of you know, cruises, sailing, or being anywhere near or on the water is my happy place…my home away from home. I swear I was a mermaid in a past life. Or who knows! Maybe I was the Captain of a tall ship or a brilliant female pirate, like Anne Bonny. Whatever got me addicted to the water I am grateful.

This got me thinking about what draws us to places to just getaway.  And what kind of getaway do people crave?

I ask you… Kick it up or take a break? What’s your ME time?

So first let’s break down ME TIME! because I know so many of my listeners struggle to honor themselves and take the breaks that they need to recoup, replenish, revive themselves, and breathe.

And for some of them, it’s not the “quiet time” they need. Its playtime! Remember what it means to play? That’s having fun! Being Creative! Letting loose! Kicking up your heels! Laughing! Socializing! Dancing! Believe me, playtime is just as reviving to your soul as sleeping on a beach or gazing into the waves on the ocean, or reading a book in bed.

In my two businesses, therapy and my travel biz I love to explore what my clients need to be at peace and happy. I have women who spend their days taking so much care of others that they have not even realized how exhausted or on empty they are. And yet, those same women have not had any time for fun in their lives other than playing with their kids.  I have couples whose fun revolves around their kids and have not been on a vacation of their own in years. They have lost touch with all the fun they used to have before their kids were born. I have businesswomen who take their work with them on every vacation they take! They swear they couldn’t get away without their laptop or tablet. God knows what would happen if they missed an email or a call.

How is that downtime?

“DOWNTIME”…. time when you have no responsibility to anyone or anything except yourself. Let me repeat that.

DOWNTIME…. is when you have no responsibility to anyone or anything except yourself.

I love that when I looked up this phrase the Oxford dictionary says “it's a time during which a machine, especially a computer, is out of action or unavailable for use.”

So what does this mean for you? When are you out of action or unavailable for use by others? And how much guilt would you have if you decided that you deserve that ME time?

My goal for all of you is that you answer “None! I would have no guilt!”

During what my hubby calls “The Cove Times…during the height of covid lockdown….. people experienced what they thought was downtime. Some were forced into less activity. Yet, so many others had their responsibilities doubled! Taking care of a family, home, and animals and doing this working from home! Not to mention all the stress and fear that surrounded us about staying safe and healthy. What for some was a break… for others was their own tiny hell! Downtime during “the cove times” was not downtime.

So I ask you when was the last time you made a point to have ME time? Time for just ME? When was the last time you chose yourself over everyone else?

I can almost hear the rumblings through the airwaves. “I can’t take time for myself. No one can cover for me.”

Or… “I can take the time but I won’t because people will think I’m selfish.” Really what people? If they love you they would want you to recoup.  Besides, you know my saying… just tell them, “What you think of me is none of my business.” Usually, when my clients tell me this I remind them that no one else can make them feel anything. YOU are the one who is not standing up for yourself and choosing to feel guilty. You are the one choosing to not put yourself first.

ME TIME! Making a moment about just me!

Now back to my first question…  Kick it up or take a break? What’s your ME time? And do you even know?  When I help my clients both in travel and in therapy plan their ME time I help them look for balance.  If they are going going going, physically active, then I help them see if they need time for their body and mind to relax. And what would that look like for them? A beach? A Cabin in the woods? A balcony on a cruise looking out over the ocean?

Or if they are in a world that keeps them sedentary, behind a desk, or these days on zoom calls all day do they need action, to move, to have fun, high energy to recoup the life in their life? Do they need to dance, or run, or go skiing or sailing!

I have told this story before. But when I was in the last month of getting my Master's Degree I truly was on empty! A year and a half of school with no breaks, homework late into the night, and writing my thesis paper. Studying for my finals had taken its toll on me. It’s funny, here I was studying to be a psychotherapist and I had lost myse