June 24, 2025 • 24 mins
In this heartfelt episode, Jaime explores one of the most painful and often overlooked parts of trauma: the lingering burden of shame and self-blame. Many survivors — whether from childhood abuse, domestic violence, or other traumatic events — carry the false belief that they were responsible for what happened to them. These thoughts often stem from manipulation by abusers, societal stigma, or the brain’s own attempt to make sense of the pain.
🧠 Jaime breaks down:
Why survivors often blame themselves — even when they "know better"
How fight, flight, and freeze responses are survival, not weakness
The damaging myths around trauma and responsibility
Why compassion, not judgment, is the true key to healing
💗 The episode closes with a gentle, guided self-compassion meditation — offering listeners a moment of calm, grounding, and the chance to begin speaking to themselves with kindness.
You are not to blame. You are not broken.
You are surviving — and you deserve your own care, just as much as anyone else.
📝 Questions or feedback?
Do not forget to leave a comment if you wish to ask aquestion or make a request.
You can always drop me an email to podcast@online-cbt.com,if you want to have a question.
If you need to book therapy with one of our experts #onlinetherapy.
https://online-cbt.com/online-therapy-bookings-cbt-emdr/
Please follow or like the podcast if you wish, and share itwith others.
Hope you enjoy!
Jaime (CBT and EMDR therapist)
PS: our service is not an emergency services and emails arenot always monitored. Please contact your local mental health team if you needurgent help.
#HealingJourney #CompassionFirst #MentalWellbeing
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Thank you for listening again please podcast and.
Thank you for. All your feedback.
I'm glad that this is being healthy.
Today there was a bit of a discussion.
Or other message about. Shame and blame.
And how that how that affect us and how we sort of people with
(00:25):
survived trauma, they struggle with that shame and then self
forgiveness. So today we're going to be
talking about about a bit about that and.
Then at the end we'll be. Having a short.
Self compassionate. Meditation.
OK, so. Thank you again for joining in
(00:51):
on this podcast on mental healthand well-being about CBT and
EMDR. I'm Jaime and I'm a.
Therapist test. OK, so for many, many.
Survivors of trauma, they. That is what Toughen follows
after the trauma that they sometimes a sense of.
(01:11):
Shame or guilt? Feelings that can be painful and
they can be long lasting as the trauma.
Itself, so they can't go. Beyond the trauma.
And not beyond that. They continue with the trauma.
A central, Central. Part of.
(01:32):
Recovery is sort of. Learning.
To understand how this how thesefeelings are normal with among
many people and how these feelings are eventually.
Can be let go OK and understand what they are all about.
So first I'd like to speak aboutthe burden of self blame.
(01:56):
Many survivors. Internalize the message of their
abuser or the trauma. That.
Somehow what they've gone through is their fault.
They've done something because of that.
Even where they. Mind, rational mind, doesn't
believe it. Then the emotional bind, the
(02:17):
sort of beliefs, the core. Beliefs they have.
That. They truly believe.
It even when everything else is different and then those.
Strong emotions that sort of arebehind us, those beliefs.
This can come or because common stem from things that
(02:38):
perpetrators have said, especially around domestic
abuse, sexual abuse, females, males, any.
Human. Any human.
That he's been in in in some. Kind of abuse.
Or violence through their life and they've been more often than
not manipulated and control and the way that that is done or why
(03:04):
it's done is sort of the abuser can turn things around and.
Sort of blame you or blame a person being in this.
Situation. So there are a lot of examples
that I come across in my practice.
I don't want to go into details.This, you know, it's, it's about
a learning, it's about knowing about this.
(03:26):
What happens is that there are those messages that people in
your life that have abused you, have grafted, have.
Sort of made. Up.
To turn things. Around you and may look like or
they made ABS to look like that maybe you fault you wanted.
You were asking for it where? We know that certain people in
(03:50):
certain. Ages.
It's really unlikely for that tobe true.
And over time, the person who been under abuse, whether it's
an adult or a child, they may stop.
Believing. And the same narrative.
Of self blaming that it's because you.
Or it's because it's something wrong?
With you right similar in domestic?
(04:13):
Violence and similar in other. Areas, OK.
And then the. Ship the shame.
Keeps keeps keeps people trappedin.
Situations. The guilt.
And then the power. That.
Abusers have over the. Victims they.
Also stop them from rolling places and that's because
sometimes it's really difficult to come out.
(04:35):
Certain situations. When we look at this in other
traumas that perhaps are not such a complex meaning long term
but be perpetrated. Trauma on to.
You more of. A things like Rd. traffic
accident or. Fallings if you're at work.
(04:58):
And something happens or. Sometimes people blame
themselves for something that they had no power over.
That sort of is is less is less overarching and it's just
intense. It feels really true at the
time. It's less overarching.
It's not that. Ingrained and it.
Tends to have less the less impact in interpersonal
(05:21):
relationships and. Mood and emotions so.
The very important thing about. When we're feeling this, this
blame, this guilt is that. As we have spoken before, your
nervous system. Will then.
Start being activated, so the. Fear the threat.
(05:47):
Your brain, your body will. Respond automatically and that
comes through fight flight. And freeze.
You may have it now activated and your nervous system is in
over overworking or overacting. What happens is that as you
think from other from if it's anadverse childhood experiences
(06:09):
from a developmental perspectivethat survival instincts had to.
Be in place or if. It's an abuse, you know,
domestic violence, Those are keeping your life.
There freezing. Not saying anything or trying to
fight back and then being more abuse, that is what you're
(06:32):
trying to do to. Survive, right?
So what happens? Is that?
Sometimes. You may be feeling guilty.
Because you haven't done anything or.
Didn't do enough. Or you didn't do something for
someone else. Sometimes it's about.
Feeling the. Shame of having not responded or
(06:52):
not. Moved.
And then sometimes what happens is that that.
Normal and physical. Response that is.
There for survival. Is misunderstood by weakness,
weakness or willingness or wishingness?
Is misunderstood for something that is not that That is not
true. And what happens with abuse?
(07:15):
Is that then the perpetrator will make sure that they.
Turn this. Around onto you, so you believe
your own beliefs about what you haven't.
Done. Or you've.
Done. And they would.
Try to. Manipulate you.
And that will so. Come up time and time again, OK,
(07:35):
And then you will forget or you will not forget, sorry, you will
not have in your awareness that at the time you had no other
choice and then you were in an in that situation that was very.
Difficult. So what?
Happens is with this is when even with complex trauma, it's
(07:56):
it's slightly more complicated because sometimes this comes
this abuse comes from someone who you trust or someone who.
Is meant. To look after you that could be
close relative parents that. Could be teachers, that could be
community leaders, clergy. Could be someone that is meant
to be protecting you, right? And naturally people, especially
(08:23):
the children they are, tend to find.
Or they would. Like to find closeness they they
lack affection right and then what happens is that some
people. Exploit this trust.
This affection and gains. Trust with children.
And especially if children's arefrom families that they are
(08:47):
also. Having a lot of problem they.
Or families that they are havingdifficulties or family
difficulties and so on. Some of the abusers would take
advantage of these families. Now someone, someone, a child
(09:07):
doing what it does that is trying to find a faction.
Or they are. Being led to believe.
On to something. That is.
Going to be fun. Or.
Is child appropriate? Does not meaning that the child
is looking. To be.
Abused. That's absolutely not true.
And. Then what happens that the
(09:28):
guilt? Really is the.
Adult or the? Person.
That is doing. This inflicting this in you or
the person who has trauma. Not on the.
Person who's been abused and is surviving trauma.
Right, not that child. So that takes us to the next.
Step where abuse is never the victim's fault.
(09:55):
It is. Very.
Important but. And I do it all through my
career. I've done it for many years and
I do it through my therapy. With people, it's.
Crucial to understand. That no one's, no one.
Whatever they've done. No ones deserve abuse.
Abuse is never. Cause but what you've done abuse
(10:15):
is never. Cause for who you are or your
beliefs and what you did or didn't do, whether it.
Is physical, emotional? Psychological.
The responsibility comes, it goes down.
Right away to the person who committed the abuse, not the
(10:36):
person who has been harmed. And that is sometimes very it
takes a long time. To come to to that shift.
Because it's maybe years. Since you've been.
Off for many. Years since someone has been
told that. And then it sort of.
Feels true. Yet it's not.
We know it's not. And and it can be painful.
(11:00):
When we couldn't stop doing it. Right now there.
'D be situation situational factors.
Why that wouldn't be the case? Especially if we.
If you were cusperately. You wanted to stop and you have
no means in many cases. What is?
(11:22):
Very often happens. Is when something goes wrong,
humans blaming tend to blame themselves and sort of is makes
it. Somehow easier and to carry
that. Weight for any reason,
especially the the weight of being powerless.
(11:46):
Wherever, however, what it happens is that more often than
not, not adults or. Children.
When you look at things back, they have no control over it,
right? And then you can realize you.
Cope the best way you could and use the tools to survive.
(12:09):
And that's what. I believe that.
Humans are designed to survive, and your body is going to your
body, your mind. Is going to do.
And act. In the.
Way that you can't survive, you can get through challenges.
And then I believe that people are very resilient, people
who've been through very difficult times in their.
(12:29):
Life they still carry on. And they may carry on for years.
Until they actually invest in themselves, have some therapy.
And then come to terms. And those people?
Sometimes it's. They are very successful people,
not only financially. Or job wise.
(12:50):
They are successful parents, aresuccessful partners.
They are very successful in the community.
Yes, they carry that burden inside them.
That's shame. And then guilt.
And I have asked this Question Time and time.
Again and I. Said if someone would have if
(13:11):
someone will be telling. You what you're saying and.
They were saying exactly what you're saying.
Would you say to them it's your fault?
Would you say you are? You are the one to blame,
especially if it's a child. And it probably, well probably
(13:31):
not majority of people. It not all says.
I would not. So somehow.
It's that double, double standards, right?
So when someone is describing what has happened to you, to
you, and they're blaming themselves, they say, no, that's
not your fault. The question is always why are
you blaming yourself? Right?
(13:52):
So we need to be putting the blame, but it belongs.
And that's what we do through therapy.
That's what we that's what it's about going through your
emotions, going. Through your beliefs.
And getting you through to whereyou want to be.
What not only your goals, your values, your connections, the
people around you who you you want to be better the the
(14:18):
version of yourself that you arecontempt the world around you
that you are. Contempt the relationship that
you are contempt that's. What we want so.
What I wanted to say is that theimportant thing is put the.
Shame and the guilt. Back where it belongs.
(14:39):
This is back to the abuser is the person who.
Caused the heart. And very often.
Often and unfortunately. Perpetrators don't take
responsibility, which means thatsurvivors as left holding to
that emotions that they carry for years and years.
(15:01):
So the very important thing of this is that.
To overcome. Guilt to.
Overcome shame, they hunt it up the.
Cure, if you must say, is. Compassion, A compassion that we
give to others. To give ourselves so.
Now what I want to introduce is a brief compassion script or
(15:23):
compassion script narrative for.For you to practice.
As and I always say. If you're driving, don't do.
It if you're listening, listening at public transport,
don't do it if you're in your home settled you feel.
Safe you feel. Calm.
You want to practice, you can doit.
Don't practice it when you feel safe, OK?
(15:45):
If not, you can just leave me a comment and.
Pick up this part of the of the podcast later on.
So I'm going to ask you. To close your eyes.
I'm going to ask you to. Start breathing.
In into your. Abdomen and breathing out
longer. If you have been following the.
(16:05):
Podcast. Most of the breathing is always
the same. That's the one I find the easier
you breathe in and you breathe out longer.
With your eyes closed, I'm goingto ask you to gently put your
hands on the top of your. Legs on the side.
Of your legs. Crossing your arms on the top of
(16:27):
your. Shoulders I'm.
Going to ask you to start tapping right and left.
Just breathing. In and breathing.
Out and then I'm going to ask you to listen to the words I'm
going to be reading now. Self compassion is not being.
(16:49):
Perfect self compassion is not about being perfect, it's about
being present, about being with yourself as you.
Are. In this moment.
It's about learning to. Relate to your pain and
(17:11):
struggles and even your flows with the same.
Warmth and tenderness. That you offer to someone you
care deeply. For or about right now, just as
(17:32):
you are, you are enough. You need to wait.
Until you are fixed everything or achieve more, or become
someone else should treat yourself.
With care and now you're. Here, offer yourself the gift of
(17:54):
kindness. Even if.
It feels unfamiliar and face might feel that way with
practice being noticing different.
Being kind to yourself. Includes for giving your past
mistakes and knowledge in the things you cannot control.
(18:18):
Letting go of the harsh self talk and gently remind yourself
as you breathe in and breathe out much longer.
I am doing the best. I can.
I am doing the best. I can.
(18:44):
I'm going to invite you to repeat those.
Words in your mind. I'm going to ask you to imagine.
You're sat there with your eyes closed on play.
(19:10):
I'm going to ask you to imagine you're with someone.
You know. Something of Maya?
Somebody, your friend, child, a pet, they are hurting.
(19:33):
Notice the cat and gentleness that naturally arises in you and
offer the same care to that friend or child or pet.
Is it that it's that? Cat, now I'm going to ask you to
turn it around. Until you, you deserve.
(20:00):
You deserve it as much as anyoneelse.
And now I'm going to. Invite you to reply these words,
may I be? Kind to.
Myself, in this moment, may I forgive myself for being human.
May I allow myself to feel safe held alone.
(20:23):
May I be kind to myself in this model.
May I forgive myself for being human.
May I allow myself to feel safe,held alone.
And if your. Mind wanders when I just breathe
in again. Breathe out longer and remind
yourself I'm doing the best I can now and I'm going to.
(20:47):
Continue to be. Kind to myself in this moment,
and may I forgive myself for being human.
And may I allow myself? To feel safe, help and love.
And now as you're walking around, as you're sitting in the
chair and I. Invite you to imagine you're
(21:11):
walking. In a garden In a lovely garden.
That is your heart. Each breath in and breath out is
a breath of compassion and it's like water.
(21:31):
Each moment of self kindness by.Sunlight and I imagine you
should walk. Around the garden.
And like that and. You should patiently.
Gently and lovingly. Explore that garden in your
(21:56):
heart that it feels that this water.
Is compassionate. Water and kindness and light and
perhaps. When you walk around.
Some paths may be messy, or the OR the paths may be touched, may
be blooming some other nickel, and that they all are welcome.
(22:19):
And just remind. You that you're doing the best
you can to work on them and thisis the beauty of your females.
Now we're on the nuts here this June, as you walk into that
around that garden to find the most comfortable seat there
(22:45):
could be a bench, there could bea Would you notice?
That compassion. And bring those words, May I be
country myself in this moment. May I forgive myself for being
human. May I allow myself to feel safe
help alone. And as you notice in that.
(23:10):
I'm noticing. That you're doing the best you
can. I'm going to ask you to imagine.
What you've done so far, What? Things have come up.
This week, this month that you're grateful for.
That you're grateful. Right now I'm.
(23:40):
Going to ask you what? What is the one?
Time thing that you can offer yourself today or this week?
Or is that one thing that you can take forward, knowing that
you want to be kind to yourself now you're doing the best you
can? And I'm gonna ask.
(24:02):
You to. Take a car deeper.
Thing and a. Longer breath out.
And open your eyes when you're ready.
Thank you for joining in. Hope you enjoy it and this has
made sense to you if you've got any.
Questions just drop. An e-mail.
And podcast. At online.com or.
(24:23):
Put a comment and if you enjoyedthe.
Podcast, please share it and that's much appreciated.
Thank you.
Thank you for listening again please podcast and.
Thank you for. All your feedback.
I'm glad that this is being healthy.
Today there was a bit of a discussion.
Or other message about. Shame and blame.
And how that how that affect us and how we sort of people with
(00:25):
survived trauma, they struggle with that shame and then self
forgiveness. So today we're going to be
talking about about a bit about that and.
Then at the end we'll be. Having a short.
Self compassionate. Meditation.
OK, so. Thank you again for joining in
(00:51):
on this podcast on mental healthand well-being about CBT and
EMDR. I'm Jaime and I'm a.
Therapist test. OK, so for many, many.
Survivors of trauma, they. That is what Toughen follows
after the trauma that they sometimes a sense of.
(01:11):
Shame or guilt? Feelings that can be painful and
they can be long lasting as the trauma.
Itself, so they can't go. Beyond the trauma.
And not beyond that. They continue with the trauma.
A central, Central. Part of.
(01:32):
Recovery is sort of. Learning.
To understand how this how thesefeelings are normal with among
many people and how these feelings are eventually.
Can be let go OK and understand what they are all about.
So first I'd like to speak aboutthe burden of self blame.
(01:56):
Many survivors. Internalize the message of their
abuser or the trauma. That.
Somehow what they've gone through is their fault.
They've done something because of that.
Even where they. Mind, rational mind, doesn't
believe it. Then the emotional bind, the
(02:17):
sort of beliefs, the core. Beliefs they have.
That. They truly believe.
It even when everything else is different and then those.
Strong emotions that sort of arebehind us, those beliefs.
This can come or because common stem from things that
(02:38):
perpetrators have said, especially around domestic
abuse, sexual abuse, females, males, any.
Human. Any human.
That he's been in in in some. Kind of abuse.
Or violence through their life and they've been more often than
not manipulated and control and the way that that is done or why
(03:04):
it's done is sort of the abuser can turn things around and.
Sort of blame you or blame a person being in this.
Situation. So there are a lot of examples
that I come across in my practice.
I don't want to go into details.This, you know, it's, it's about
a learning, it's about knowing about this.
(03:26):
What happens is that there are those messages that people in
your life that have abused you, have grafted, have.
Sort of made. Up.
To turn things. Around you and may look like or
they made ABS to look like that maybe you fault you wanted.
You were asking for it where? We know that certain people in
(03:50):
certain. Ages.
It's really unlikely for that tobe true.
And over time, the person who been under abuse, whether it's
an adult or a child, they may stop.
Believing. And the same narrative.
Of self blaming that it's because you.
Or it's because it's something wrong?
With you right similar in domestic?
(04:13):
Violence and similar in other. Areas, OK.
And then the. Ship the shame.
Keeps keeps keeps people trappedin.
Situations. The guilt.
And then the power. That.
Abusers have over the. Victims they.
Also stop them from rolling places and that's because
sometimes it's really difficult to come out.
(04:35):
Certain situations. When we look at this in other
traumas that perhaps are not such a complex meaning long term
but be perpetrated. Trauma on to.
You more of. A things like Rd. traffic
accident or. Fallings if you're at work.
(04:58):
And something happens or. Sometimes people blame
themselves for something that they had no power over.
That sort of is is less is less overarching and it's just
intense. It feels really true at the
time. It's less overarching.
It's not that. Ingrained and it.
Tends to have less the less impact in interpersonal
(05:21):
relationships and. Mood and emotions so.
The very important thing about. When we're feeling this, this
blame, this guilt is that. As we have spoken before, your
nervous system. Will then.
Start being activated, so the. Fear the threat.
(05:47):
Your brain, your body will. Respond automatically and that
comes through fight flight. And freeze.
You may have it now activated and your nervous system is in
over overworking or overacting. What happens is that as you
think from other from if it's anadverse childhood experiences
(06:09):
from a developmental perspectivethat survival instincts had to.
Be in place or if. It's an abuse, you know,
domestic violence, Those are keeping your life.
There freezing. Not saying anything or trying to
fight back and then being more abuse, that is what you're
(06:32):
trying to do to. Survive, right?
So what happens? Is that?
Sometimes. You may be feeling guilty.
Because you haven't done anything or.
Didn't do enough. Or you didn't do something for
someone else. Sometimes it's about.
Feeling the. Shame of having not responded or
(06:52):
not. Moved.
And then sometimes what happens is that that.
Normal and physical. Response that is.
There for survival. Is misunderstood by weakness,
weakness or willingness or wishingness?
Is misunderstood for something that is not that That is not
true. And what happens with abuse?
(07:15):
Is that then the perpetrator will make sure that they.
Turn this. Around onto you, so you believe
your own beliefs about what you haven't.
Done. Or you've.
Done. And they would.
Try to. Manipulate you.
And that will so. Come up time and time again, OK,
(07:35):
And then you will forget or you will not forget, sorry, you will
not have in your awareness that at the time you had no other
choice and then you were in an in that situation that was very.
Difficult. So what?
Happens is with this is when even with complex trauma, it's
(07:56):
it's slightly more complicated because sometimes this comes
this abuse comes from someone who you trust or someone who.
Is meant. To look after you that could be
close relative parents that. Could be teachers, that could be
community leaders, clergy. Could be someone that is meant
to be protecting you, right? And naturally people, especially
(08:23):
the children they are, tend to find.
Or they would. Like to find closeness they they
lack affection right and then what happens is that some
people. Exploit this trust.
This affection and gains. Trust with children.
And especially if children's arefrom families that they are
(08:47):
also. Having a lot of problem they.
Or families that they are havingdifficulties or family
difficulties and so on. Some of the abusers would take
advantage of these families. Now someone, someone, a child
(09:07):
doing what it does that is trying to find a faction.
Or they are. Being led to believe.
On to something. That is.
Going to be fun. Or.
Is child appropriate? Does not meaning that the child
is looking. To be.
Abused. That's absolutely not true.
And. Then what happens that the
(09:28):
guilt? Really is the.
Adult or the? Person.
That is doing. This inflicting this in you or
the person who has trauma. Not on the.
Person who's been abused and is surviving trauma.
Right, not that child. So that takes us to the next.
Step where abuse is never the victim's fault.
(09:55):
It is. Very.
Important but. And I do it all through my
career. I've done it for many years and
I do it through my therapy. With people, it's.
Crucial to understand. That no one's, no one.
Whatever they've done. No ones deserve abuse.
Abuse is never. Cause but what you've done abuse
(10:15):
is never. Cause for who you are or your
beliefs and what you did or didn't do, whether it.
Is physical, emotional? Psychological.
The responsibility comes, it goes down.
Right away to the person who committed the abuse, not the
(10:36):
person who has been harmed. And that is sometimes very it
takes a long time. To come to to that shift.
Because it's maybe years. Since you've been.
Off for many. Years since someone has been
told that. And then it sort of.
Feels true. Yet it's not.
We know it's not. And and it can be painful.
(11:00):
When we couldn't stop doing it. Right now there.
'D be situation situational factors.
Why that wouldn't be the case? Especially if we.
If you were cusperately. You wanted to stop and you have
no means in many cases. What is?
(11:22):
Very often happens. Is when something goes wrong,
humans blaming tend to blame themselves and sort of is makes
it. Somehow easier and to carry
that. Weight for any reason,
especially the the weight of being powerless.
(11:46):
Wherever, however, what it happens is that more often than
not, not adults or. Children.
When you look at things back, they have no control over it,
right? And then you can realize you.
Cope the best way you could and use the tools to survive.
(12:09):
And that's what. I believe that.
Humans are designed to survive, and your body is going to your
body, your mind. Is going to do.
And act. In the.
Way that you can't survive, you can get through challenges.
And then I believe that people are very resilient, people
who've been through very difficult times in their.
(12:29):
Life they still carry on. And they may carry on for years.
Until they actually invest in themselves, have some therapy.
And then come to terms. And those people?
Sometimes it's. They are very successful people,
not only financially. Or job wise.
(12:50):
They are successful parents, aresuccessful partners.
They are very successful in the community.
Yes, they carry that burden inside them.
That's shame. And then guilt.
And I have asked this Question Time and time.
Again and I. Said if someone would have if
(13:11):
someone will be telling. You what you're saying and.
They were saying exactly what you're saying.
Would you say to them it's your fault?
Would you say you are? You are the one to blame,
especially if it's a child. And it probably, well probably
(13:31):
not majority of people. It not all says.
I would not. So somehow.
It's that double, double standards, right?
So when someone is describing what has happened to you, to
you, and they're blaming themselves, they say, no, that's
not your fault. The question is always why are
you blaming yourself? Right?
(13:52):
So we need to be putting the blame, but it belongs.
And that's what we do through therapy.
That's what we that's what it's about going through your
emotions, going. Through your beliefs.
And getting you through to whereyou want to be.
What not only your goals, your values, your connections, the
people around you who you you want to be better the the
(14:18):
version of yourself that you arecontempt the world around you
that you are. Contempt the relationship that
you are contempt that's. What we want so.
What I wanted to say is that theimportant thing is put the.
Shame and the guilt. Back where it belongs.
(14:39):
This is back to the abuser is the person who.
Caused the heart. And very often.
Often and unfortunately. Perpetrators don't take
responsibility, which means thatsurvivors as left holding to
that emotions that they carry for years and years.
(15:01):
So the very important thing of this is that.
To overcome. Guilt to.
Overcome shame, they hunt it up the.
Cure, if you must say, is. Compassion, A compassion that we
give to others. To give ourselves so.
Now what I want to introduce is a brief compassion script or
(15:23):
compassion script narrative for.For you to practice.
As and I always say. If you're driving, don't do.
It if you're listening, listening at public transport,
don't do it if you're in your home settled you feel.
Safe you feel. Calm.
You want to practice, you can doit.
Don't practice it when you feel safe, OK?
(15:45):
If not, you can just leave me a comment and.
Pick up this part of the of the podcast later on.
So I'm going to ask you. To close your eyes.
I'm going to ask you to. Start breathing.
In into your. Abdomen and breathing out
longer. If you have been following the.
(16:05):
Podcast. Most of the breathing is always
the same. That's the one I find the easier
you breathe in and you breathe out longer.
With your eyes closed, I'm goingto ask you to gently put your
hands on the top of your. Legs on the side.
Of your legs. Crossing your arms on the top of
(16:27):
your. Shoulders I'm.
Going to ask you to start tapping right and left.
Just breathing. In and breathing.
Out and then I'm going to ask you to listen to the words I'm
going to be reading now. Self compassion is not being.
(16:49):
Perfect self compassion is not about being perfect, it's about
being present, about being with yourself as you.
Are. In this moment.
It's about learning to. Relate to your pain and
(17:11):
struggles and even your flows with the same.
Warmth and tenderness. That you offer to someone you
care deeply. For or about right now, just as
(17:32):
you are, you are enough. You need to wait.
Until you are fixed everything or achieve more, or become
someone else should treat yourself.
With care and now you're. Here, offer yourself the gift of
(17:54):
kindness. Even if.
It feels unfamiliar and face might feel that way with
practice being noticing different.
Being kind to yourself. Includes for giving your past
mistakes and knowledge in the things you cannot control.
(18:18):
Letting go of the harsh self talk and gently remind yourself
as you breathe in and breathe out much longer.
I am doing the best. I can.
I am doing the best. I can.
(18:44):
I'm going to invite you to repeat those.
Words in your mind. I'm going to ask you to imagine.
You're sat there with your eyes closed on play.
(19:10):
I'm going to ask you to imagine you're with someone.
You know. Something of Maya?
Somebody, your friend, child, a pet, they are hurting.
(19:33):
Notice the cat and gentleness that naturally arises in you and
offer the same care to that friend or child or pet.
Is it that it's that? Cat, now I'm going to ask you to
turn it around. Until you, you deserve.
(20:00):
You deserve it as much as anyoneelse.
And now I'm going to. Invite you to reply these words,
may I be? Kind to.
Myself, in this moment, may I forgive myself for being human.
May I allow myself to feel safe held alone.
(20:23):
May I be kind to myself in this model.
May I forgive myself for being human.
May I allow myself to feel safe,held alone.
And if your. Mind wanders when I just breathe
in again. Breathe out longer and remind
yourself I'm doing the best I can now and I'm going to.
(20:47):
Continue to be. Kind to myself in this moment,
and may I forgive myself for being human.
And may I allow myself? To feel safe, help and love.
And now as you're walking around, as you're sitting in the
chair and I. Invite you to imagine you're
(21:11):
walking. In a garden In a lovely garden.
That is your heart. Each breath in and breath out is
a breath of compassion and it's like water.
(21:31):
Each moment of self kindness by.Sunlight and I imagine you
should walk. Around the garden.
And like that and. You should patiently.
Gently and lovingly. Explore that garden in your
(21:56):
heart that it feels that this water.
Is compassionate. Water and kindness and light and
perhaps. When you walk around.
Some paths may be messy, or the OR the paths may be touched, may
be blooming some other nickel, and that they all are welcome.
(22:19):
And just remind. You that you're doing the best
you can to work on them and thisis the beauty of your females.
Now we're on the nuts here this June, as you walk into that
around that garden to find the most comfortable seat there
(22:45):
could be a bench, there could bea Would you notice?
That compassion. And bring those words, May I be
country myself in this moment. May I forgive myself for being
human. May I allow myself to feel safe
help alone. And as you notice in that.
(23:10):
I'm noticing. That you're doing the best you
can. I'm going to ask you to imagine.
What you've done so far, What? Things have come up.
This week, this month that you're grateful for.
That you're grateful. Right now I'm.
(23:40):
Going to ask you what? What is the one?
Time thing that you can offer yourself today or this week?
Or is that one thing that you can take forward, knowing that
you want to be kind to yourself now you're doing the best you
can? And I'm gonna ask.
(24:02):
You to. Take a car deeper.
Thing and a. Longer breath out.
And open your eyes when you're ready.
Thank you for joining in. Hope you enjoy it and this has
made sense to you if you've got any.
Questions just drop. An e-mail.
And podcast. At online.com or.
(24:23):
Put a comment and if you enjoyedthe.
Podcast, please share it and that's much appreciated.
Thank you.
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