June 25, 2024 • 43 mins
Text Brian & Shawna (Fan Mail)
What happens when we're faced with giants? Join us in this heartwarming episode as we explore the complex struggles of addiction and the journey to recovery with our special guest, Josh Wilson. Brian and Shawna Curee, also known as Mr. and Mrs.KillerB in the Metaverse, dive deep into the concept of facing life's giants, inspired by Louis Giglio’s devotional "Goliath Must Fall." Josh shares his personal story and performs live, offering a testament to the power of faith and community in overcoming life's giants.
Josh shares his travel stories, including a humorous roadside stop in Idaho, but he also opens up to discuss his battle against social anxiety and alcohol addiction, and celebrating seven years of sobriety thanks to the support of friends, counseling, and his wife. We address the importance of mental health, breaking the stigma within the Christian community, and the role of medication in managing anxiety. Josh’s performance of "God's Not Mad at You" leaves us with an uplifting message of hope and healing, reminding us that love and support are always within reach, even in our darkest moments.
Episode Links & Resources:
Josh shares his travel stories, including a humorous roadside stop in Idaho, but he also opens up to discuss his battle against social anxiety and alcohol addiction, and celebrating seven years of sobriety thanks to the support of friends, counseling, and his wife. We address the importance of mental health, breaking the stigma within the Christian community, and the role of medication in managing anxiety. Josh’s performance of "God's Not Mad at You" leaves us with an uplifting message of hope and healing, reminding us that love and support are always within reach, even in our darkest moments.
Episode Links & Resources:
- Stream Josh Wilson's latest album Mental Help on Spotify
- Goliath Must Fall Devotion by Louie Giglio
- Andrew Peterson's Wingfeather Saga
- Celebrate Recovery
- Narcotics Anonymous
- Alcoholic Anonymous
- Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services
- reddit Stop Drinking
- This Naked Mind by Annie Grace
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Josh Wilson (00:00):
If anybody out there has ever struggled with an
addiction or with a secret.
There comes a point where itfeels like you've passed the
point of no return.
It's like for a while you'relike I can get away with this.
And you're like wait a second.
And you keep trying and keepfailing.
And then it's been so long thatyou think to yourself I can't
(00:22):
ask for help now because I'vebeen doing this for so long.
The hardest thing was to tellmy wife, because she didn't know
that I had this problem.
Brian Curee (00:30):
Welcome to the New Horizons podcast.
I'm Brian Curee.
Shawna Curee (00:34):
And I'm Shawna Curee, also known as Mr and Mrs
Killer B, in virtual reality.
So this podcast is recordedlive from the metaverse at the
Killer Bee Studios where reallife stories and God experiences
are shared in a way only themetaverse at the Killer Bee
Studios, where real life storiesand God experiences are shared
in a way only the metaverse canoffer.
Brian Curee (00:48):
With that, let's go ahead and dive in to today's
episode.
We have a guest tonight joiningus.
His name is Josh Wilson andhe's going to share his story
and perform live afterwards.
How many of you would say thatyou've faced a giant in your
life at some point?
Throw some confetti if you cansay I have faced a giant, okay,
(01:09):
yes, have you faced any giants?
If so, what would be one of thegiants you've faced in your
life?
Shawna Curee (01:15):
Yeah, several, but I guess I would say the biggest
is loss Loss of family members,loss of the baby.
So, yeah, I would say thatthat's probably my biggest.
What about you?
Brian Curee (01:31):
I would say probably one of the things that
we just talked about recentlylast time we were in here was
talking about confidence.
So I would say that for me, butI wanted to.
As I was talking to Josh aboutwhat he was going to come share
tonight, I was trying to thinkof how to start this and it
really settled with giants.
And I wanted to start therebecause how many of you have
(01:53):
ever heard of Louis Giglio?
Anybody here know Louis Giglio?
Yeah, okay, yeah, okay.
I see some of you have Okay,cool.
So I want to read something toyou because I started doing a
actually, I just finished it.
There's a Bible story devotionon the YouVersion app.
I'm going to read a little bitto you guys because this is what
opened my eyes to some otherthings about giants that
sometimes giants can bedisguised as something that
(02:15):
maybe we would never consider tobe a giant in our life.
And I wanted to talk about thisat first, before we brought up
Josh, because I know he's goingto come and share about his
giant and there's probably a lotof people here that can relate
to it.
I know I can in different ways,but I want to let him share
that, but during this devotiontime I read this one day and he
pointed out this this is whatreally.
(02:36):
I wrote this down because I'mlike, wait a minute, giants
might be disguised as somethingthat we don't recognize as a
giant and I wanted to share thatso we can all be aware of this
as we go in this discussion.
If you want to check out thedevotion, just open up the
YouVersion, the Bible app, andjust look up.
It's called Goliath Must Fall.
Goliath Must Fall.
But here you guys cool if Iread this for just a second, for
(02:58):
you guys can hear what he saysabout this.
Okay, cool, here's what he says.
He says it may seem odd tothink of comfort as a giant, and
I was like whoa, wait a minutehere.
I never thought of comfort as agiant, he said, as something
that taunts us or hurts ourlives.
(03:19):
It's hard to think of comfortas something like that.
That's something that's goingto taunt us and hurt our lives.
But we all desire to provide asafe environment for our family.
We like to kick back at the endof the day with our shoes up
and watch our favorite TV show.
We like things to be orderly inour lives, not chaotic.
(03:40):
I mean, I don't know if anybodyelse can relate to this.
Right now I'm like, yeah, Ilike to go kick my feet up and
sit back and watch Probablybinge watch way too many shows,
but I don't know if anybody else.
Anybody else here, throw someconfetti if you can.
Yeah, okay, you can relate.
Yep.
He said we all want to do that.
We like things to be orderly inour lives, not chaotic.
(04:00):
None of these things are deadlyin and of themselves.
The trouble only arises whenthe desire for safety and
security becomes the dominanttheme of our lives.
He pointed out the story aboutthe Israelites.
He said the Israelites usedtheir battle cry every day when
Goliath was there taunting.
They would go out and use theirbattle cry every day.
(04:20):
They would get suited up andthey went to the front lines and
they knew that they had God ontheir side.
But then Goliath would come outeach morning and the Israelites
would say, no, not today,that's, that's too dangerous.
And they would run back, stayin their tents where it was safe
.
Have you ever thought of thatbefore as comfort, as a giant?
Shawna Curee (04:42):
I guess I've never really had the terminology of
giant, like when I'm thinkingthrough, you know, like
spiritual things, but I'vedefinitely noticed the danger of
comfort, because I think that'ssomething that I can fall into
wanting to be comfortable,wanting to be, you know, have
the things I love around me andthings like that and I've
definitely noticed that as adanger to like not want to get
(05:05):
out of my comfort zone.
So in that way I think I'verecognized it.
But yeah, this is all new to me, kind of this giant terminology
.
Yeah, it's powerful.
Brian Curee (05:14):
It was new to me too and I wanted to share it
because I know, since Josh isgoing to come out and share his
story and his giant that hefaced, you might have a giant in
your life that you're notrealizing is there and that's
okay.
I think that's what even thisI'm learning here, like wow, I
could see how that could be agiant, but I never put that
together before.
But what I want to do before Ibring out josh is I do want to
say one more thing aboutsomething that I learned in my
(05:36):
life, and it's always beensomething there to remind me.
You know there's times that wego in our life that are
struggles, and you know we gothrough seasons that aren't good
, that aren't fun.
There was something I waspraying for God because I was
struggling in a time in my lifethat I needed to be reminded
that God was there, because Ifelt like I'm going through some
crap in life and it doesn'tfeel good and I'm, you know I'm
(05:56):
praying God.
Why do I have to go throughthis?
How do I get moved beyond this?
I'm facing these giants in mylife and I'm looking for an
answer.
I was driving on the road and Ilooked in the mirror and here's
what I saw in the mirror.
It said objects in the mirrorare closer than they appear.
And when I saw that, it took meback to the time I was praying
for God.
Like God, where are you?
What's going on?
(06:17):
And what he showed me was it'sthe same way with him.
God is closer than we may think, and I know that Josh's story
is going to shine some light onthat as well for us.
We might be going throughthings that we're ashamed of.
We're facing giants and wemight be thinking God, where are
you?
Why am I going through this?
(06:37):
But I want to encourage you, ifyou're going through that,
whenever you look in your sidemirror and you see that on your
side mirror that objects in themirror are closer than they
appear, remember that's the sameway about God in your life.
You guys, we want to definitelyreign Josh with some confetti.
He's the meta age of two daysright now.
We did some training with himin here, so let's reign him with
(07:00):
confetti.
Give him a great Horizon Worlds.
Welcome Arkane.
Go ahead and cue the guestmusic and with that, let's go
ahead and bring out Josh Wilson.
Josh, come on out and we'll seeif you've got some better dance
moves than I had.
Let's see, there he is, josh.
Welcome to the Killer BeeStudios.
Look at this he did a jump.
That's impressive.
Shawna Curee (07:22):
He did a jump and everything yes.
Josh Wilson (07:25):
Awesome Josh.
How are you doing?
I'm doing okay.
Yeah, I'm two days old here, soI'm a wee toddler A wee lad A
wee infant.
A wee lad, but I'm having fun.
This is really really cool.
This is my first time in wellreally doing any of this stuff,
so I'm glad to be here.
Thanks everybody for coming.
(07:47):
Confetti for everybody.
I do know how to do confetti.
You know, what's going to bedisappointing is when I get off
of here and I go back up to mykitchen with my wife and my son
and I throw my arms up in theair and no confetti comes out.
I'm going to be verydisappointed.
Shawna Curee (08:02):
It's a huge disappointment.
Josh Wilson (08:04):
I need this to be a real-life thing actually.
Shawna Curee (08:06):
Yes, I say that all the time.
I need this to be a real lifething actually.
Yes, I say that all the time.
Brian Curee (08:08):
It's actually a real life struggle too, because
we've been in meetings andwanted to celebrate things with
our clients and we've literallythrown our hands up at times and
gone.
Oh, that looks really weird,that's amazing.
Yeah, because you're so used toit.
Josh Wilson (08:19):
I can't, and then the thumbs up Got it All right
Got it I think you can do aheart?
Brian Curee (08:25):
Oh, you can do a single hand.
Oh, that was a heart.
Josh Wilson (08:28):
So you'll find later.
Shawna Curee (08:29):
When you talk to some other people, they get all
kinds of interesting things likefrom different games.
I have all the boring ones, butother people look at all these
cool things.
Brian Curee (08:39):
Show us your cool emojis.
Josh Wilson (08:42):
Look, there's a chili pepper, a heart I saw a
chili pepper.
Music Wow.
You guys are like magiciansmusic wow, you guys are like
magicians?
Brian Curee (08:53):
yes, exactly, cameras I just saw a camera over
there and muscles like robotarms, like that was cool.
Josh Wilson (08:56):
Ribs and mic drop.
Brian Curee (08:56):
Yeah, look, there's do you say ribs?
You're making me?
Yeah, there's a ribs journey.
Drop some ribs there, you goright there boom smoke, yeah,
man that's amazing, making mehungry there's some people
that's got salt peppers too.
That drop salt, I mean peoplethat's listening to the podcast
are like what the heck are theytalking?
Shawna Curee (09:13):
about right now.
You've got to get a headset.
Come check it out.
Brian Curee (09:16):
Or come in on a mobile device.
We can send you that.
I will let you guys knowsomething before we let Josh
introduce himself.
If you guys have not checkedout the podcast, go check out
the podcast.
We have a now at the very topof it.
You can text us, so send us atext message about questions or
thoughts you may have and wemight talk about those as well.
(09:37):
So, josh, I would love for youto take a lot of people here.
Well, there's actually a lot ofpeople that knows Josh, so
that's amazing.
That's awesome For those ofthem that do not know who you
are or are listening to thepodcast, would you take about 30
seconds and just introduceyourself and tell everybody a
little bit about yourself?
Josh Wilson (09:54):
Yeah, so my name is Josh Wilson and I live in
Nashville, tennessee.
I grew up in West Texas and Ilived here in Nashville for just
over 20 years and I'm asinger-songwriter, so I write
songs, I record them and then Itour around the country and play
my music and just share aboutthe things that have happened in
(10:17):
my life and the hope that I'vefound in Jesus, and I'm so
thankful that I get to do that.
Shawna Curee (10:23):
Did you ever have a Texas accent or did you lose
it in your 20 years in Tennessee?
Josh Wilson (10:28):
I'm actually really pleased to hear you say that I
did, and I thought I think itstill comes out and in fact when
I'm with my friends and familyfrom Texas it definitely comes
out.
My wife likes to point that out.
She gets a kick out of that,but she's from Tulsa, oklahoma,
and she's extremely Southern.
Shawna Curee (10:45):
So she can't make fun of me too much for my accent
.
Josh Wilson (10:49):
So, yeah, I think maybe because I travel around
the country.
Uh, perhaps it has sort ofsettled down a little bit yeah,
seems like it okay.
Shawna Curee (10:56):
Well, I'm glad you're happy about that where's
been?
Brian Curee (11:00):
what where's where, would you say, your favorite
place of travel has been before?
Josh Wilson (11:04):
man.
Okay, so I've played in all 50states and I actually have
ranked my states.
I couldn't tell you off the topof my head.
Yeah, me and my musicianfriends get bored on the road
and so we do things like rankthe 50 states.
Shawna Curee (11:21):
I love that.
Josh Wilson (11:22):
And I'm not dare going to tell you what's in the
bottom 10.
Shawna Curee (11:25):
Oh, you've got to.
Josh Wilson (11:26):
No, I'm not for fear that anyone here is from
those places.
But I'll tell you my top.
Let's see Colorado is up there.
Washington State, let's seehere.
Well, yeah those are a couple.
Tennessee, honestly, which iswhere I live, is beautiful.
We have the Smoky Mountains,lots, lots of rolling hills,
(11:48):
trees, um, and just beautifulplaces to hike.
I love being outdoors, I loveto mountain bike, and so
tennessee is really a beautifulplace for that, and then also
wherever each one of youindividually are from is also
one of my favorite states let'sget some confetti for that.
Yeah, there you go.
I love this guy we're just flor.
Brian Curee (12:08):
Florida rank on you , is it I need to?
Some people it's like no, it'sway too hot, but some people.
Josh Wilson (12:13):
I like Florida.
It's not an.
I don't think it's in my topfive.
That's the end of the show guys.
Brian Curee (12:18):
You guys thanks for coming out.
Josh Wilson (12:21):
All right, peace out.
Brian Curee (12:24):
I do love Florida, I mean top five that's a tall
order, you know, but yeah it is.
We vacation in florida quiteoften.
I I do think it's too hot tolive there, but not too hot to
visit.
Yeah, yeah, you just gotta jumpin the largest human bathtub
all the time.
That's what you gotta do.
You gotta live in there.
I do love the ocean uh.
Shawna Curee (12:41):
Arcane has a question yes, arcane so you've
played both Alaska and.
Josh Wilson (12:48):
Hawaii yes, actually.
So Hawaii I played.
It's actually a funny story.
Actually, I played in Hawaiibecause years ago my friend and
manager at the time his name wasChris he called me and he said
let me back up.
I have always been pretty shyabout just public speaking.
(13:09):
I don't mind sharing my songsand like the stories behind the
songs and even something likethis.
I don't mind.
I actually enjoy answeringquestions and just talking, but
like to stand up and to give aspeech or even like a sermon.
that's just not my thing.
You know, a lot of us have afear of public speaking and and
that particular scenario is justnightmare fuel for me.
(13:31):
But my manager called me.
He was like, hey, we have anoffer and it's to do a
commencement speech for a highschool graduation.
And I was like absolutely not.
And he was like it's in Hawaii.
And I said, sign me up.
So I anyway I went to Hawaiiand I did the speech and I mixed
(13:53):
in a couple of songs and it wasreally fun, but yeah, I got
over my fear pretty quick.
So yes, arcane, that's when Iplayed in Hawaii, and then,
about five years ago, I finallygot the chance to play in Alaska
, which was it was a festivalthere Beautiful.
It was in Ketchikan, which is acruise ship destination,
(14:14):
beautiful place.
I actually got to see somewhales surfacing in the bay.
It was amazing.
So yeah, I've played in all 50states.
Brian Curee (14:21):
That's amazing.
Shawna Curee (14:22):
That's amazing.
Brian Curee (14:23):
This is great, just to share with you guys how I
met Josh.
I knew who Josh was, obviouslybecause we work in Christian
Radio, but I've never really gotto sit down with him and got to
know him personally.
But we have a retreat that wedo every year in Idaho and up in
the mountains where there's somuch snow and it's a beautiful
area, and Josh came and we werethere too, me and Arcane, so I
(14:45):
got to hang out with him, talkto him.
We actually all got toexperience a once in a lifetime
event I guess you would call itthat I don't think any of us
will ever forget, because whenyou come down those mountains
it's a really long, windy roadand there's really nowhere to
pull off and stop and take abreak, except for the side of a
(15:05):
mountain.
So how many of us were in thatvan?
Was there one, two, three, four, five, five or six of us?
That was in there in that SUVand we all had to go to the
bathroom.
So we all pulled over on theside of a mountain and we're
relieving ourselves as carsdrove by, honking and waving at
us.
Josh Wilson (15:25):
Well, we're just telling all aren't we?
We'll just say guys have thisstory.
Shawna Curee (15:29):
I could have done without this story.
Josh Wilson (15:31):
Guys have it a lot easier.
Yeah, I can't believe youactually told that.
You joked about telling it andI was like ha-ha, wouldn't that
be funny, he's told it and youjust told it.
Shawna Curee (15:38):
So this just in.
We go to the bathroom Justbetween the two of us hold much
back.
He'll tell anybody anything.
Brian Curee (15:46):
These people already know we might get some
merch made about it.
That's not happening.
Josh Wilson (15:55):
I'm out.
I'm out on the merch.
Shawna Curee (15:59):
Leave me off the merch.
You don't want to be associatedwith that.
Brian Curee (16:01):
What really sets you apart?
Well, on the side of a mountainonce I was with Josh Wilson and
we all pulled over.
Now have you done that?
That was on my bucket list.
Next question.
Let's move on to that.
Josh.
Uh, I'm turning this thing off.
Turn that mic off.
Shawna Curee (16:15):
Turn that mic off we need to turn this one off so,
josh, what was cool was I wouldlove to know.
Brian Curee (16:21):
Like you know, when we met, we started talking and,
uh, I shared about themetaverse, like I kind of you
know, I kind of ease that inwith some people that we talked
to, just to see, hey, maybethey'll be interested to come
and share.
And you took the bait, he tookthe bait.
Guys, I just started to hook itand start reeling it in.
That's right, share with mewhat came across your mind that
made you think, hey, I mightwant to try this out and check
(16:42):
out and see what this is allabout.
Josh Wilson (16:44):
Yeah, well, I'm typically a fairly early adopter
of a lot of differenttechnologies.
I love gadgets.
But I will say, as far as theVR world goes, I've tried a few
headsets and they do give me abit of a headache, and so I just
sort of have played with a fewand then put it down, and so I
(17:04):
hadn't really dove into thisworld, but you were telling me
about it.
I was like so, wait a second?
And so I hadn't really doveinto this world, but you were
telling me about it.
I was like so wait a second,people get together in a virtual
space and you have avatars andhands and you can throw confetti
.
Actually, at the time I didn'tknow it, but I thought, yeah,
man, and of course you said thatyou would be able to mail me
this headset to kind of join you.
(17:25):
So thank you for doing that.
I'm going to play with a littlelonger before I mail it back to
you, but yeah, I thought this.
This sounded like a really funway to to share my heart and and
also to just kind of learn moreabout what's going on here.
And, man, I'm, I'm in.
This is super fun.
Ready Player One is actuallyone of my favorite books.
Shawna Curee (17:45):
Me too yeah books Me too.
Josh Wilson (17:47):
I love that book.
It was funny because when Iread it I was like they've got
to make a movie.
And then finally did it.
Yes, and the movie's great.
But I mean, this is it.
We're living it guys, we'redoing it Ready for the other one
Hopefully not entirelyHopefully not all the actual
real world stuff happeningthat's dangerous.
Yeah, just the fun parts.
Shawna Curee (18:07):
Just the fun parts .
Josh Wilson (18:10):
Thanks for having me.
I have been looking forward tothis and I'm glad we're finally
here.
Brian Curee (18:15):
Yeah, me too.
I'm so glad that you stepped upand wanted to experience it.
We love giving people thatexperience.
One of the things I shared withJosh was the purpose behind the
studio is all about bringing in,connecting with people, sharing
our real life, our real lifestories, and some of people will
be sharing their Godexperiences, like what God's
done in their life, and it's allabout coming to just to connect
(18:37):
, share and then help peoplelike help, help people live a
better life Like that couldactually transform, or knowing
our stories and sharing that canactually help transform other
people's lives and where they'reat.
So, josh, as I started offtalking about giants, I know
that some of the stories thatyou shared with me that you had
some giants or maybe even stillhave giants today.
I mean, I know they creep in,but I know you had some giants
(18:59):
in your story that you mightwant to actually talk about and
share, so I want to go ahead andhand it over to you, but as I
hand it over, I'd like to askyou to tell us about your giant
and what did your giant looklike and when did you realize
you had a giant Well, all goodquestions.
Josh Wilson (19:18):
So I mentioned that I have been doing, or I do,
music full-time and I've beendoing this for a long time,
almost 20 years.
I write songs about faith andfollowing Jesus.
And I grew up in the church andI think when I was younger I
(19:39):
used to think that followingJesus meant you're supposed to
kind of have it all together.
You know, wouldn't do thingslike stop on the side of a
beautiful mountain highway andgo to the bathroom, things like
that.
No, I'm just kidding.
No, you know, just to kind offollow all the rules and have
all the answers to all thequestions.
And you know, I thought being aChristian meant you're supposed
to behave and have it together.
But the longer I follow Jesus,the more I realize I don't call
(20:02):
myself a Christian because Ihave it all together.
I call myself a Christianbecause I don't, because I need
somebody to hold me together,and that's Jesus.
And you know Jesus himself saidin this world you will have
troubles, but I love what hesaid.
Next he said but take heart,for I have overcome this world.
(20:23):
And so I've been a Christianfor most of my life.
I grew up in the church, mydad's a pastor and I've been
traveling on the road singingabout my faith in Jesus for
years and years.
But I think we maybe facedifferent giants at different
times.
And I struggle and have for along time with anxiety.
(20:46):
As a kid it was social anxiety.
I didn't want to go to school,it was being around people.
It was a long time with anxietyas a kid.
It was social anxiety.
I didn't want to go to school,it was being around people, it
was a lot of different things.
And then on into my adulthood,yeah, those anxieties changed
but the feeling of anxiety in mymind and in my body remained,
and I actually, I think for awhile.
(21:09):
Well, this will get now to thegiant that I abused alcohol and
I drank to excess and I think Iused it to quiet those anxieties
(21:36):
that were inside of me, thatthings I didn't want to feel and
didn't want to deal with, and Iused alcohol to turn down the
volume on that and for a whileit kind of at least seemed like
it worked.
I would feel relaxed, I wouldkind of have a drink before bed
and then, if anyone has had asubstance addiction, you know
(21:58):
the way that works is,eventually you have to start
using more of that substance toget the same feeling you had.
So, in order to feel relaxed,you need a second drink or a
third and so on.
And eventually I got to thepoint where I couldn't.
I didn't feel like I could fallasleep without having that.
And, um, you know, I I tried toquit multiple times on my own.
(22:19):
And I mean, here I am touringthe country singing about Jesus,
and and then I would get on thebus at night and um, it just
became a thing that I felt likeI needed to have and Anyway, it
became a problem.
I tried to quit multiple timesand couldn't do it.
Eventually I realized I wasn'tgoing to be able to do it on my
(22:40):
own, by myself.
I needed to ask for help.
I needed to tell somebody aboutthe extent of the problem I was
having, because I be doing it,but nobody else knew about it,
and so I couldn't ask for help.
So eventually I had just hadenough.
(23:03):
In AA we say I got sick andtired of being sick and tired,
and I called a friend and I waslike man, I am drinking too much
, I can't quit, I need help andI don't know what to do next,
but I'm telling you so that Istay accountable, to stop and to
figure out how to do this.
And then I got into counselingwith an addiction therapist.
I told my wife the extent of myproblems and she was so kind
(23:27):
and gracious and understandingand has been with me every step
of the way.
And next month I'll celebrateseven years of sobriety.
Brian Curee (23:35):
Yeah, since my since my last drink, and next
month I'll celebrate seven yearsof sobriety.
Josh Wilson (23:39):
Wow, yeah, since my last drink and you know thanks,
it hasn't been easy.
It's gotten a lot easier.
The first year was really hardand then second year was tough
and it's gotten easier as I'vegone on.
But it's been so worth it andGod has used friends and family
and therapy and church andprayer, and I try and practice
(24:04):
healthier habits to deal with myanxiety now than, of course, a
substance which is not a goodcure for anxiety.
So that ranges from everythingI just mentioned to you know to
exercise, to make sure I'mconnecting with friends and
staying connected to people,rather than hiding those things
(24:27):
and thinking I can sort of stuffthem in and avoid those things.
So, yeah, in order to face mygiant, I had to get some people
to help me and I can just saythat if any of you out there are
dealing with an addiction or asecret, I can tell you from
experience that trying to fixthat thing on your own is
(24:48):
probably not going to work,because I tried it for a few
years and it just got worse andworse and worse and the shame
piled on because I thought Ifailed again.
I might as well just hit itharder, and then I would hate
myself even more, because howcould I be doing this to myself?
And I mean, the truth is, it'san addictive substance and you
pour more of it down your body,you're going to get addicted to
(25:08):
it, and so I think some of thatshame was unfounded.
Of course, along the way, way,you do make some choices, but,
um, I've learned to to be alittle kinder on myself and to
try and see myself the way Goddoes, which is loved, forgiven,
uh, and free, and to not have togo to those things that I
(25:29):
thought would help but onlyended up hurting.
That's good.
Brian Curee (25:32):
It's beautiful.
Okay, there's a couple ofthings that you said that I
would love to touch on.
Did you have anything that youwanted to say, mrs killer?
No, go right ahead.
Okay, so it had to be difficultfor you, not only as a
christian, to to recognize andthen share that with somebody,
but probably even even anotherlevel, as being a christian
(25:53):
artist that's going outperforming.
What was it like for you totake that first step?
What was it like to step overthat?
Josh Wilson (26:02):
Yeah, Well, here's the other thing.
If anybody out there has everstruggled with an addiction or
with a secret, there comes apoint where it feels like you've
passed the point of no return.
It's like for a while you're'relike I can get away with this,
and then it becomes a problem.
And then you're like, okay, Ineed to stop this.
(26:24):
And then you try and you can't,and you're like wait a second.
And you keep trying and keepfailing, and then it's, and then
it's been so long that youthink to yourself I can't ask
for help now because I've beendoing this for so long that this
, just on paper, looks bad.
It looks like I've been and Ihad been hiding this thing for
(26:45):
so long.
And so, yeah, it really was hard.
The hardest thing was to tellmy wife because she didn't know
that I had this problem.
I hid it very well, I thinkgrowing up in the church,
especially as a pastor's kid,taught me to hide those things,
not alcoholism, but just thethings I don't want people to
(27:08):
know and then going into a jobwhere it is my job to present
myself a certain way.
I'm good at at showing peoplethe parts of me that I want to.
Shawna Curee (27:20):
Sure.
Josh Wilson (27:20):
But when it came time to getting that help, I had
to show the parts of me thathurt and that that were shameful
.
And um, I actually, um, I havea verse.
I'm going to see if I can lookat my phone here.
Uh, and I have a verse.
I'm going to see if I can lookat my phone here and read to you
, because I had this verse.
I was on a tour at the time.
(27:43):
I'm looking at my phone Is myavatar looking up in the air
like anything funny?
Brian Curee (27:46):
You're good.
Okay, you're good, it's notgreat.
It's like you're really in deepthought right now.
Josh Wilson (27:53):
I am so in deep thought, guys.
This is Psalm 32.
And if you have a secret or anaddiction, maybe you can relate
to this.
When I kept silent, my boneswasted away through my groaning
all day long, for day and night,your hand was heavy on me.
My strength was sapped, as inthe heat of summer.
(28:14):
I mean, if that doesn't soundlike a hangover, I don't know
what does.
Then I acknowledged my sin toyou and I did not cover up my
iniquity.
I said I will confess mytransgressions to the Lord and
you forgave me the guilt of mysin.
And then on down, he forgave meall my guilt is gone.
(28:36):
So that verse I had taped to mybunk because I was like I know
this is a problem and I'veconfessed my sin a million times
to the Lord.
But then the other key to mewas James 5.16,.
Confess your sins one toanother and you will be healed.
And that was the piece I wasmissing.
It was like me and God talkedall the time.
(28:58):
I was like God still can't quit.
Help me quit.
And I think he was prompting meI will and I am, and you need
to tell somebody else.
And so that's what it took.
And yeah, it was really, reallyhard and I tried to do it a lot
of times before I actually diddo it, and then I finally did.
(29:19):
And here we are.
I'm free, that's good.
Brian Curee (29:24):
That's good Praise, god, that's amazing.
That's amazing and I have tosay, like, for those of you that
never have been inside a bunkand a tour bus, it's like a
sardine can.
So I mean tour bus, it's likeit's like a sardine can.
So I mean literally.
It's like that scripture wasreally close to you.
Yeah, god, and the scripturewere very literally close that's
what we love about, excuse me,we love about the community in
(29:47):
here.
I know there's a lot of peoplehere that's that has shared.
They've been hurt by church oror you know they're not
connected like they, maybe theirfamily isn't close to them
anymore, and you guys have builtreally close friendships in in
horizons world, here, right herein the metaverse, you guys are
creating amazing friendships.
Yes, I mean, I see we've we'vecelebrated birthdays, you guys.
(30:08):
You know there's, there's beenpeople that have passed away
from here, and I seecelebrations of people coming
together to remember them.
This is a strong community andyou can find close friends in
here, too, to lean on.
And one of the things that wegrew up in a church that we
learned too, is, when someoneopens up and becomes vulnerable
(30:28):
with you, make sure they'rehanding you a sword, they're
trusting you, say, hey, I'mgoing to give this to you, I'm
really dealing with this.
Just be careful not to pick upthat sword and start stabbing
them with it.
Like, really like, be there tolisten, to help them.
Uh, they, they've opened up toyou and been vulnerable because
they feel like you're the personthey can trust.
(30:49):
How was your friend workingwith?
I don't you know?
I know you're not going to saya name or anything like that,
but but how were they supported?
Josh Wilson (30:54):
I don't mind saying his name, his name's James
Teely.
I've written a bunch of songswith him and he's one of my best
friends.
And I called and I said hey,man, I have this problem, I
can't quit, I need to get help.
I'm telling you because I wantyou to hold me accountable.
And he said, okay.
So then I called a counselorfriend and he said okay, come in
tomorrow.
(31:15):
And I did.
And I went in and spilled thebeans and he was like okay,
we've got a good addictiontherapist we work with.
I'm going to send you to him.
And so I started going to himthree times a week and actually
had met with him for probablytwo weeks before I finally was
able to tell my wife.
(31:35):
I still could not bring myselfto tell Becca was able to tell
my wife.
I still could not bring myselfto tell Becca.
And what my counselor told meto do is write out what you want
to say to her and then read itto her in front of her, and that
way you don't forget anything.
And so I thought that wasreally wise.
So I wrote it all out and toldher, and she came with me the
(31:55):
next day to see that addictioncounselor to see.
You know, here's what I'm doing, here's the help I'm getting.
And yeah, I saw him three timesa week for maybe six months and
then two times a week and then,for you know, out of a year I
would see him like once a month.
So it tapered off.
But you know there's lots ofways to get help.
So it tapered off.
(32:16):
But there's lots of ways to gethelp.
And in a room this size,statistically, someone in here
probably has a problem with asubstance and I can just tell
you there's hope, there's help,and the more you sort of keep
that to yourself, the harder itis.
Telling somebody is key and, um, and I also know that, you know
(32:40):
, therapy is expensive and Idon't I don't want to assume I
actually had some people help mewith, with paying for some some
of the help I got.
And if you can't afford that,there are free ways to find help
as well.
Um, one of them is, um, you,you know, if I'm not sure you
know if you're a Christian,there are some Christian ones,
(33:01):
like Celebrate Recovery probablymeets at a church near you.
Just look up Celebrate RecoveryIf you're not a Christian, any
of the anonymous.
You know Alcoholics Anonymous,narcotics Anonymous they don't
require that you are a Christian, you know.
If you're uncomfortable withany of that, that's still a
great place to start.
I think it's really just thecommunity of like-minded people.
It's huge and so all of that'sfree.
(33:27):
Y'all are internet people, soI'm sure a lot of you are.
On Reddit, there's a subredditcalled Stop Drinking.
It's about a quarter millionpeople who are just on there to
help each other quit drinking.
So check out that sub if you'reon Reddit.
That was a place even before Igot sober.
For a couple of years I wouldsort of lurk on that sub and
just like I'd post and be likesomeday I want to be posting on
(33:49):
here saying, hey, I've got sixmonths, I've got a year, I've
got two years sober and that wasa huge resource for me.
Brian Curee (33:56):
Wow, josh, if you wouldn't mind, like later, once
the show's over, like later thisweek, send me those links to
the place you sent, because Iwould love to.
We want to make sure we putthose in the podcast show notes.
Josh Wilson (34:08):
Yeah, for sure, and get help For sure.
There's also a book Annie Graceis the author and it's a book
called this Naked Mind.
It's about alcohol, so that'sanother great resource.
I don't know her, it's just abook that was helpful for me.
Shawna Curee (34:22):
Josh, do you know who Andrew Peterson is?
Josh Wilson (34:25):
I do.
Yeah, he's a good friend.
Shawna Curee (34:27):
Oh really, let's talk about that later.
I'm just kidding, but youtelling your story reminded me
of this quote from the WingedFeather Saga and I wanted to
read it, and I hope I don't crybecause I'm so moved by those
books.
Brian Curee (34:42):
We'll give you a warning.
She always cries, so just cry alot.
This is a safe place.
Josh Wilson (34:47):
It's a safe place.
Shawna Curee (34:48):
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you very much, but Ithought that you all would be
moved by this too, so I wantedto share it.
You all would be moved by thistoo, so I wanted to share it.
Um, he moved through his daysin peace and wonder, for his
whole story had been told forthe first time and he found that
he was still loved.
And that's what, what I heardin your story that you told the
(35:10):
truth, you know, to your friendsand your wife.
And, um, do you tell thesestories to when you perform?
Josh Wilson (35:18):
I do, I do, yeah, and you know I have an
eight-year-old son and so I'mstarting to tell him.
You know some of that and it'snot like some big reveal.
I really, at this point I'mjust an open book.
It's actually really fun totell the truth.
You don't have to keep up withwho you're hiding what from,
it's just show up and it makespublic speaking a lot easier.
(35:39):
I'm just here just to tell thetruth.
Brian Curee (35:41):
We peed on the road .
I was an alcoholic.
Josh Wilson (35:43):
There you go.
Shawna Curee (35:45):
But the two were unrelated.
Josh Wilson (35:52):
Yeah, that particular pee was not alcohol.
Brian Curee (35:54):
We did that sober.
It was water, it was water, itwas water.
You know, josh, I have to saytoo it had to be, and it'd be
difficult to, even as aChristian, to step up and reach
out to a counselor.
I mean, I know some Christianfriends that have reached out
and they told me it was so hard,just because knowing like
there's so much shame thatthey're carrying because of that
(36:16):
too, because they feel likethey're supposed to have it all
together and I love that you'resharing that Like, oh man, it
doesn't mean you have it alltogether.
Josh Wilson (36:24):
Oh, and I'll tell you I'm still I'm not currently
in therapy, but I was, you know,two years ago.
I go anytime that things getkind of rough and that, alcohol
or not, life gets rough, and twoyears ago I had what I would
consider a bit of a mentalbreakdown from anxiety and
depression and panic attacks.
(36:45):
And, yeah, I was right back intherapy and I'm on anxiety
medication and happy to be.
And so, yeah, these thingsdon't disqualify me from being a
Christian or having faith.
They mean I take my faithseriously and I believe that God
uses a lot of different ways toheal.
And I'm not telling anybody totake medication or talk to your
(37:08):
doctor, but there's no shame inany of that, my goodness.
I posted on Instagram recentlythat was like for the Christians
who don't think Christiansshould take medication my
medication helps me go to churchand pray.
If I'm not on this medication, Iremember sitting in a Sunday
service having so much anxietyin my body I had to go out to my
(37:29):
car to breathe.
I couldn't even sit throughchurch because I had so much
anxiety.
And I'm also getting to theroot of that.
I'm not using the medicine as amask not to deal with it, but
it gets me to a baseline where,man, I'm so much better than I
was.
So, yeah, don't hear me saythat it's one and done.
Now that I don't drink, I'vegot it all together.
(37:50):
My goodness, I'm still a messand I'm so thankful for Jesus
and for my church and my friendsand family.
And, yeah, it feels like thestigma about mental health and a
lot of these things is easingup these days, which I think is
really cool, I agree.
Shawna Curee (38:06):
Yeah, I think so too.
Brian Curee (38:07):
Yeah, days which I think is really cool.
I agree, yeah, I think so too.
Yeah, I think that we'relearning more and more about it
with all the digital connectionswe've had, like with social
media and stuff.
There's more of that andthere's so much of it being
buried that it's good foreverybody to realize it's okay
to reach out and get help and weall have giants in different
ways in different areas.
And I was going to say I know alot of people in here know
MetaCoach.
(38:28):
If you are struggling withsomething, go see MetaCoach too.
He's amazing.
He's a life coach.
If you're a veteran, he's aveteran as well.
He's a Christian, but he's agreat person to talk to.
That can also he might be ableto help you.
I know he does like somecounseling in here in the
metaverse.
He's actually a real counselorin life, but he can connect you
with other people too.
(38:48):
He's got a huge network, soreach out to him.
A lot of you probably know howmany of you here know medical.
Or start some confetti If youknow medical.
Yeah, a lot of people here knowmedical.
It's great guy, so reach out tohim too.
Do we have any audience membersthat would like to ask a
question or share with Josh Dawn.
Come on up.
Shawna Curee (39:06):
How are?
Brian Curee (39:06):
you doing Dawn.
Shawna Curee (39:07):
I'm good.
I just want to tell you, Josh,that a lot of our listeners at
our radio station really wereimpacted by things that I'm
afraid of.
Josh Wilson (39:15):
Oh wow, I just want to tell you that yeah.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, that's a song that talksabout anxiety and depression and
mental health and yeah,essentially the message is our
struggles are big, our God is.
Our God is bigger, and thethings that I'm afraid of are
afraid of you.
Shawna Curee (39:34):
So yes.
Brian Curee (39:36):
Thank you so much for sharing that.
Anybody else got a question ora thought they'd like to share
with Josh?
Shawna Curee (39:42):
While he's talking to the audience, josh, I'll
tell you.
When he came back from the,what was it called?
Again the retreat?
Yeah.
And he came back from the uh,what was it called?
Again the retreat, yeah.
And he said he met you.
I was like josh wilson thatsounds so familiar.
He's like revolutionary.
I knew immediately.
I was like what nice.
Nice, because that was thefirst song of yours that I ever
heard yeah um yeah, and it'sjust so catchy.
Chucky (40:03):
I love that song so much well, thank you so much yeah, I
appreciate that I was gonna sayhello, hello, hi, josh, what's
up?
I was gonna say the other day.
Um, I was thinking in my head,I'm like you know, because I'm
new to this christian musicthing yeah, man you know it was,
and, uh, I like to dance and Ithought, you know, there's not
(40:28):
really too many songs out there,christian songs that you can
really, like you know, get down,right, right.
And so then, when Mr KillerBsaid that Josh was going to be
here, and then I got the texttoday and I'm like Josh Wilson,
josh Wilson, I go, hey, googleplay Josh Wilson, and not right
now.
Uh-oh, nope.
Shawna Curee (40:53):
There you go.
Chucky (40:53):
Unplug it when Ruth Revolutionary came on.
I know this song, I love thissong.
You can dance to that song.
Shawna Curee (41:02):
You can dance.
You can dance to that song.
Chucky (41:06):
I just want to say that's an awesome song.
Josh Wilson (41:07):
I love it, man.
Thank you, awesome song.
I love it, man.
Yeah, thank you so much Iappreciate it, brother, that's
awesome.
Brian Curee (41:13):
Well, let me just clarify you can dance to that
song.
If you're not me, let me justclarify that you can dance to
that song, darling.
Yeah, yeah, I'll just let youbelieve that we're not going to
try to test it out.
No videos, that we're not goingto try to test it out and no
videos.
So, as we wrap up, josh, Iwould like to ask you if there
(41:33):
is one thing that you would hopepeople would walk away from
this interview, from your story,what would it be?
Josh Wilson (41:39):
um, well, that there is hope.
I uh, I really didn't think Iwas going to be able to to quit
and to find help and hope, andif there's hope for me, there's
hope for anybody.
So, yeah, if you've got thatthing that you know or that you
think you can't quit, I was inyour shoes just about seven
(42:03):
years ago and here I am and it'spossible, and the two things
that helped me were to tell,tell God and tell somebody else.
Um, tell God, tell a trustedfriend, and then new life begins
.
It's not easy, but, uh, butit's beautiful.
We'll see how this song goes onguitar.
(42:23):
Like I said, I've never done it, um, but it's called God's Not
Mad at you.
It goes like this Like I said,I've never done it, but it's
called God's Not Mad at you.
It goes like this Do you everhave days when you hate yourself
(42:43):
?
I've had plenty of days likethat myself, when you just can't
pray the pain away and youwonder if you just need more
faith or God might move on tosomeone else.
If you feel that way, let's geta few things straight.
One God's not mad at you.
(43:05):
Two you are not a burden.
Three there is always hope,even though I know you're
hurting.
Four this is not forever.
Five Jesus loves you, and so doI.
I know it's easy to forget, sowhen you do, just count again If
you enjoyed this episode don'tforget to follow this podcast
(43:27):
and leave us a review.
If anybody out there has ever struggled with an
addiction or with a secret.
There comes a point where itfeels like you've passed the
point of no return.
It's like for a while you'relike I can get away with this.
And you're like wait a second.
And you keep trying and keepfailing.
And then it's been so long thatyou think to yourself I can't
(00:22):
ask for help now because I'vebeen doing this for so long.
The hardest thing was to tellmy wife, because she didn't know
that I had this problem.
Brian Curee (00:30):
Welcome to the New Horizons podcast.
I'm Brian Curee.
Shawna Curee (00:34):
And I'm Shawna Curee, also known as Mr and Mrs
Killer B, in virtual reality.
So this podcast is recordedlive from the metaverse at the
Killer Bee Studios where reallife stories and God experiences
are shared in a way only themetaverse at the Killer Bee
Studios, where real life storiesand God experiences are shared
in a way only the metaverse canoffer.
Brian Curee (00:48):
With that, let's go ahead and dive in to today's
episode.
We have a guest tonight joiningus.
His name is Josh Wilson andhe's going to share his story
and perform live afterwards.
How many of you would say thatyou've faced a giant in your
life at some point?
Throw some confetti if you cansay I have faced a giant, okay,
(01:09):
yes, have you faced any giants?
If so, what would be one of thegiants you've faced in your
life?
Shawna Curee (01:15):
Yeah, several, but I guess I would say the biggest
is loss Loss of family members,loss of the baby.
So, yeah, I would say thatthat's probably my biggest.
What about you?
Brian Curee (01:31):
I would say probably one of the things that
we just talked about recentlylast time we were in here was
talking about confidence.
So I would say that for me, butI wanted to.
As I was talking to Josh aboutwhat he was going to come share
tonight, I was trying to thinkof how to start this and it
really settled with giants.
And I wanted to start therebecause how many of you have
(01:53):
ever heard of Louis Giglio?
Anybody here know Louis Giglio?
Yeah, okay, yeah, okay.
I see some of you have Okay,cool.
So I want to read something toyou because I started doing a
actually, I just finished it.
There's a Bible story devotionon the YouVersion app.
I'm going to read a little bitto you guys because this is what
opened my eyes to some otherthings about giants that
sometimes giants can bedisguised as something that
(02:15):
maybe we would never consider tobe a giant in our life.
And I wanted to talk about thisat first, before we brought up
Josh, because I know he's goingto come and share about his
giant and there's probably a lotof people here that can relate
to it.
I know I can in different ways,but I want to let him share
that, but during this devotiontime I read this one day and he
pointed out this this is whatreally.
(02:36):
I wrote this down because I'mlike, wait a minute, giants
might be disguised as somethingthat we don't recognize as a
giant and I wanted to share thatso we can all be aware of this
as we go in this discussion.
If you want to check out thedevotion, just open up the
YouVersion, the Bible app, andjust look up.
It's called Goliath Must Fall.
Goliath Must Fall.
But here you guys cool if Iread this for just a second, for
(02:58):
you guys can hear what he saysabout this.
Okay, cool, here's what he says.
He says it may seem odd tothink of comfort as a giant, and
I was like whoa, wait a minutehere.
I never thought of comfort as agiant, he said, as something
that taunts us or hurts ourlives.
(03:19):
It's hard to think of comfortas something like that.
That's something that's goingto taunt us and hurt our lives.
But we all desire to provide asafe environment for our family.
We like to kick back at the endof the day with our shoes up
and watch our favorite TV show.
We like things to be orderly inour lives, not chaotic.
(03:40):
I mean, I don't know if anybodyelse can relate to this.
Right now I'm like, yeah, Ilike to go kick my feet up and
sit back and watch Probablybinge watch way too many shows,
but I don't know if anybody else.
Anybody else here, throw someconfetti if you can.
Yeah, okay, you can relate.
Yep.
He said we all want to do that.
We like things to be orderly inour lives, not chaotic.
(04:00):
None of these things are deadlyin and of themselves.
The trouble only arises whenthe desire for safety and
security becomes the dominanttheme of our lives.
He pointed out the story aboutthe Israelites.
He said the Israelites usedtheir battle cry every day when
Goliath was there taunting.
They would go out and use theirbattle cry every day.
(04:20):
They would get suited up andthey went to the front lines and
they knew that they had God ontheir side.
But then Goliath would come outeach morning and the Israelites
would say, no, not today,that's, that's too dangerous.
And they would run back, stayin their tents where it was safe
.
Have you ever thought of thatbefore as comfort, as a giant?
Shawna Curee (04:42):
I guess I've never really had the terminology of
giant, like when I'm thinkingthrough, you know, like
spiritual things, but I'vedefinitely noticed the danger of
comfort, because I think that'ssomething that I can fall into
wanting to be comfortable,wanting to be, you know, have
the things I love around me andthings like that and I've
definitely noticed that as adanger to like not want to get
(05:05):
out of my comfort zone.
So in that way I think I'verecognized it.
But yeah, this is all new to me, kind of this giant terminology
.
Yeah, it's powerful.
Brian Curee (05:14):
It was new to me too and I wanted to share it
because I know, since Josh isgoing to come out and share his
story and his giant that hefaced, you might have a giant in
your life that you're notrealizing is there and that's
okay.
I think that's what even thisI'm learning here, like wow, I
could see how that could be agiant, but I never put that
together before.
But what I want to do before Ibring out josh is I do want to
say one more thing aboutsomething that I learned in my
(05:36):
life, and it's always beensomething there to remind me.
You know there's times that wego in our life that are
struggles, and you know we gothrough seasons that aren't good
, that aren't fun.
There was something I waspraying for God because I was
struggling in a time in my lifethat I needed to be reminded
that God was there, because Ifelt like I'm going through some
crap in life and it doesn'tfeel good and I'm, you know I'm
(05:56):
praying God.
Why do I have to go throughthis?
How do I get moved beyond this?
I'm facing these giants in mylife and I'm looking for an
answer.
I was driving on the road and Ilooked in the mirror and here's
what I saw in the mirror.
It said objects in the mirrorare closer than they appear.
And when I saw that, it took meback to the time I was praying
for God.
Like God, where are you?
What's going on?
(06:17):
And what he showed me was it'sthe same way with him.
God is closer than we may think, and I know that Josh's story
is going to shine some light onthat as well for us.
We might be going throughthings that we're ashamed of.
We're facing giants and wemight be thinking God, where are
you?
Why am I going through this?
(06:37):
But I want to encourage you, ifyou're going through that,
whenever you look in your sidemirror and you see that on your
side mirror that objects in themirror are closer than they
appear, remember that's the sameway about God in your life.
You guys, we want to definitelyreign Josh with some confetti.
He's the meta age of two daysright now.
We did some training with himin here, so let's reign him with
(07:00):
confetti.
Give him a great Horizon Worlds.
Welcome Arkane.
Go ahead and cue the guestmusic and with that, let's go
ahead and bring out Josh Wilson.
Josh, come on out and we'll seeif you've got some better dance
moves than I had.
Let's see, there he is, josh.
Welcome to the Killer BeeStudios.
Look at this he did a jump.
That's impressive.
Shawna Curee (07:22):
He did a jump and everything yes.
Josh Wilson (07:25):
Awesome Josh.
How are you doing?
I'm doing okay.
Yeah, I'm two days old here, soI'm a wee toddler A wee lad A
wee infant.
A wee lad, but I'm having fun.
This is really really cool.
This is my first time in wellreally doing any of this stuff,
so I'm glad to be here.
Thanks everybody for coming.
(07:47):
Confetti for everybody.
I do know how to do confetti.
You know, what's going to bedisappointing is when I get off
of here and I go back up to mykitchen with my wife and my son
and I throw my arms up in theair and no confetti comes out.
I'm going to be verydisappointed.
Shawna Curee (08:02):
It's a huge disappointment.
Josh Wilson (08:04):
I need this to be a real-life thing actually.
Shawna Curee (08:06):
Yes, I say that all the time.
I need this to be a real lifething actually.
Yes, I say that all the time.
Brian Curee (08:08):
It's actually a real life struggle too, because
we've been in meetings andwanted to celebrate things with
our clients and we've literallythrown our hands up at times and
gone.
Oh, that looks really weird,that's amazing.
Yeah, because you're so used toit.
Josh Wilson (08:19):
I can't, and then the thumbs up Got it All right
Got it I think you can do aheart?
Brian Curee (08:25):
Oh, you can do a single hand.
Oh, that was a heart.
Josh Wilson (08:28):
So you'll find later.
Shawna Curee (08:29):
When you talk to some other people, they get all
kinds of interesting things likefrom different games.
I have all the boring ones, butother people look at all these
cool things.
Brian Curee (08:39):
Show us your cool emojis.
Josh Wilson (08:42):
Look, there's a chili pepper, a heart I saw a
chili pepper.
Music Wow.
You guys are like magiciansmusic wow, you guys are like
magicians?
Brian Curee (08:53):
yes, exactly, cameras I just saw a camera over
there and muscles like robotarms, like that was cool.
Josh Wilson (08:56):
Ribs and mic drop.
Brian Curee (08:56):
Yeah, look, there's do you say ribs?
You're making me?
Yeah, there's a ribs journey.
Drop some ribs there, you goright there boom smoke, yeah,
man that's amazing, making mehungry there's some people
that's got salt peppers too.
That drop salt, I mean peoplethat's listening to the podcast
are like what the heck are theytalking?
Shawna Curee (09:13):
about right now.
You've got to get a headset.
Come check it out.
Brian Curee (09:16):
Or come in on a mobile device.
We can send you that.
I will let you guys knowsomething before we let Josh
introduce himself.
If you guys have not checkedout the podcast, go check out
the podcast.
We have a now at the very topof it.
You can text us, so send us atext message about questions or
thoughts you may have and wemight talk about those as well.
(09:37):
So, josh, I would love for youto take a lot of people here.
Well, there's actually a lot ofpeople that knows Josh, so
that's amazing.
That's awesome For those ofthem that do not know who you
are or are listening to thepodcast, would you take about 30
seconds and just introduceyourself and tell everybody a
little bit about yourself?
Josh Wilson (09:54):
Yeah, so my name is Josh Wilson and I live in
Nashville, tennessee.
I grew up in West Texas and Ilived here in Nashville for just
over 20 years and I'm asinger-songwriter, so I write
songs, I record them and then Itour around the country and play
my music and just share aboutthe things that have happened in
(10:17):
my life and the hope that I'vefound in Jesus, and I'm so
thankful that I get to do that.
Shawna Curee (10:23):
Did you ever have a Texas accent or did you lose
it in your 20 years in Tennessee?
Josh Wilson (10:28):
I'm actually really pleased to hear you say that I
did, and I thought I think itstill comes out and in fact when
I'm with my friends and familyfrom Texas it definitely comes
out.
My wife likes to point that out.
She gets a kick out of that,but she's from Tulsa, oklahoma,
and she's extremely Southern.
Shawna Curee (10:45):
So she can't make fun of me too much for my accent
.
Josh Wilson (10:49):
So, yeah, I think maybe because I travel around
the country.
Uh, perhaps it has sort ofsettled down a little bit yeah,
seems like it okay.
Shawna Curee (10:56):
Well, I'm glad you're happy about that where's
been?
Brian Curee (11:00):
what where's where, would you say, your favorite
place of travel has been before?
Josh Wilson (11:04):
man.
Okay, so I've played in all 50states and I actually have
ranked my states.
I couldn't tell you off the topof my head.
Yeah, me and my musicianfriends get bored on the road
and so we do things like rankthe 50 states.
Shawna Curee (11:21):
I love that.
Josh Wilson (11:22):
And I'm not dare going to tell you what's in the
bottom 10.
Shawna Curee (11:25):
Oh, you've got to.
Josh Wilson (11:26):
No, I'm not for fear that anyone here is from
those places.
But I'll tell you my top.
Let's see Colorado is up there.
Washington State, let's seehere.
Well, yeah those are a couple.
Tennessee, honestly, which iswhere I live, is beautiful.
We have the Smoky Mountains,lots, lots of rolling hills,
(11:48):
trees, um, and just beautifulplaces to hike.
I love being outdoors, I loveto mountain bike, and so
tennessee is really a beautifulplace for that, and then also
wherever each one of youindividually are from is also
one of my favorite states let'sget some confetti for that.
Yeah, there you go.
I love this guy we're just flor.
Brian Curee (12:08):
Florida rank on you , is it I need to?
Some people it's like no, it'sway too hot, but some people.
Josh Wilson (12:13):
I like Florida.
It's not an.
I don't think it's in my topfive.
That's the end of the show guys.
Brian Curee (12:18):
You guys thanks for coming out.
Josh Wilson (12:21):
All right, peace out.
Brian Curee (12:24):
I do love Florida, I mean top five that's a tall
order, you know, but yeah it is.
We vacation in florida quiteoften.
I I do think it's too hot tolive there, but not too hot to
visit.
Yeah, yeah, you just gotta jumpin the largest human bathtub
all the time.
That's what you gotta do.
You gotta live in there.
I do love the ocean uh.
Shawna Curee (12:41):
Arcane has a question yes, arcane so you've
played both Alaska and.
Josh Wilson (12:48):
Hawaii yes, actually.
So Hawaii I played.
It's actually a funny story.
Actually, I played in Hawaiibecause years ago my friend and
manager at the time his name wasChris he called me and he said
let me back up.
I have always been pretty shyabout just public speaking.
(13:09):
I don't mind sharing my songsand like the stories behind the
songs and even something likethis.
I don't mind.
I actually enjoy answeringquestions and just talking, but
like to stand up and to give aspeech or even like a sermon.
that's just not my thing.
You know, a lot of us have afear of public speaking and and
that particular scenario is justnightmare fuel for me.
(13:31):
But my manager called me.
He was like, hey, we have anoffer and it's to do a
commencement speech for a highschool graduation.
And I was like absolutely not.
And he was like it's in Hawaii.
And I said, sign me up.
So I anyway I went to Hawaiiand I did the speech and I mixed
(13:53):
in a couple of songs and it wasreally fun, but yeah, I got
over my fear pretty quick.
So yes, arcane, that's when Iplayed in Hawaii, and then,
about five years ago, I finallygot the chance to play in Alaska
, which was it was a festivalthere Beautiful.
It was in Ketchikan, which is acruise ship destination,
(14:14):
beautiful place.
I actually got to see somewhales surfacing in the bay.
It was amazing.
So yeah, I've played in all 50states.
Brian Curee (14:21):
That's amazing.
Shawna Curee (14:22):
That's amazing.
Brian Curee (14:23):
This is great, just to share with you guys how I
met Josh.
I knew who Josh was, obviouslybecause we work in Christian
Radio, but I've never really gotto sit down with him and got to
know him personally.
But we have a retreat that wedo every year in Idaho and up in
the mountains where there's somuch snow and it's a beautiful
area, and Josh came and we werethere too, me and Arcane, so I
(14:45):
got to hang out with him, talkto him.
We actually all got toexperience a once in a lifetime
event I guess you would call itthat I don't think any of us
will ever forget, because whenyou come down those mountains
it's a really long, windy roadand there's really nowhere to
pull off and stop and take abreak, except for the side of a
(15:05):
mountain.
So how many of us were in thatvan?
Was there one, two, three, four, five, five or six of us?
That was in there in that SUVand we all had to go to the
bathroom.
So we all pulled over on theside of a mountain and we're
relieving ourselves as carsdrove by, honking and waving at
us.
Josh Wilson (15:25):
Well, we're just telling all aren't we?
We'll just say guys have thisstory.
Shawna Curee (15:29):
I could have done without this story.
Josh Wilson (15:31):
Guys have it a lot easier.
Yeah, I can't believe youactually told that.
You joked about telling it andI was like ha-ha, wouldn't that
be funny, he's told it and youjust told it.
Shawna Curee (15:38):
So this just in.
We go to the bathroom Justbetween the two of us hold much
back.
He'll tell anybody anything.
Brian Curee (15:46):
These people already know we might get some
merch made about it.
That's not happening.
Josh Wilson (15:55):
I'm out.
I'm out on the merch.
Shawna Curee (15:59):
Leave me off the merch.
You don't want to be associatedwith that.
Brian Curee (16:01):
What really sets you apart?
Well, on the side of a mountainonce I was with Josh Wilson and
we all pulled over.
Now have you done that?
That was on my bucket list.
Next question.
Let's move on to that.
Josh.
Uh, I'm turning this thing off.
Turn that mic off.
Shawna Curee (16:15):
Turn that mic off we need to turn this one off so,
josh, what was cool was I wouldlove to know.
Brian Curee (16:21):
Like you know, when we met, we started talking and,
uh, I shared about themetaverse, like I kind of you
know, I kind of ease that inwith some people that we talked
to, just to see, hey, maybethey'll be interested to come
and share.
And you took the bait, he tookthe bait.
Guys, I just started to hook itand start reeling it in.
That's right, share with mewhat came across your mind that
made you think, hey, I mightwant to try this out and check
(16:42):
out and see what this is allabout.
Josh Wilson (16:44):
Yeah, well, I'm typically a fairly early adopter
of a lot of differenttechnologies.
I love gadgets.
But I will say, as far as theVR world goes, I've tried a few
headsets and they do give me abit of a headache, and so I just
sort of have played with a fewand then put it down, and so I
(17:04):
hadn't really dove into thisworld, but you were telling me
about it.
I was like so, wait a second?
And so I hadn't really doveinto this world, but you were
telling me about it.
I was like so wait a second,people get together in a virtual
space and you have avatars andhands and you can throw confetti
.
Actually, at the time I didn'tknow it, but I thought, yeah,
man, and of course you said thatyou would be able to mail me
this headset to kind of join you.
(17:25):
So thank you for doing that.
I'm going to play with a littlelonger before I mail it back to
you, but yeah, I thought this.
This sounded like a really funway to to share my heart and and
also to just kind of learn moreabout what's going on here.
And, man, I'm, I'm in.
This is super fun.
Ready Player One is actuallyone of my favorite books.
Shawna Curee (17:45):
Me too yeah books Me too.
Josh Wilson (17:47):
I love that book.
It was funny because when Iread it I was like they've got
to make a movie.
And then finally did it.
Yes, and the movie's great.
But I mean, this is it.
We're living it guys, we'redoing it Ready for the other one
Hopefully not entirelyHopefully not all the actual
real world stuff happeningthat's dangerous.
Yeah, just the fun parts.
Shawna Curee (18:07):
Just the fun parts .
Josh Wilson (18:10):
Thanks for having me.
I have been looking forward tothis and I'm glad we're finally
here.
Brian Curee (18:15):
Yeah, me too.
I'm so glad that you stepped upand wanted to experience it.
We love giving people thatexperience.
One of the things I shared withJosh was the purpose behind the
studio is all about bringing in,connecting with people, sharing
our real life, our real lifestories, and some of people will
be sharing their Godexperiences, like what God's
done in their life, and it's allabout coming to just to connect
(18:37):
, share and then help peoplelike help, help people live a
better life Like that couldactually transform, or knowing
our stories and sharing that canactually help transform other
people's lives and where they'reat.
So, josh, as I started offtalking about giants, I know
that some of the stories thatyou shared with me that you had
some giants or maybe even stillhave giants today.
I mean, I know they creep in,but I know you had some giants
(18:59):
in your story that you mightwant to actually talk about and
share, so I want to go ahead andhand it over to you, but as I
hand it over, I'd like to askyou to tell us about your giant
and what did your giant looklike and when did you realize
you had a giant Well, all goodquestions.
Josh Wilson (19:18):
So I mentioned that I have been doing, or I do,
music full-time and I've beendoing this for a long time,
almost 20 years.
I write songs about faith andfollowing Jesus.
And I grew up in the church andI think when I was younger I
(19:39):
used to think that followingJesus meant you're supposed to
kind of have it all together.
You know, wouldn't do thingslike stop on the side of a
beautiful mountain highway andgo to the bathroom, things like
that.
No, I'm just kidding.
No, you know, just to kind offollow all the rules and have
all the answers to all thequestions.
And you know, I thought being aChristian meant you're supposed
to behave and have it together.
But the longer I follow Jesus,the more I realize I don't call
(20:02):
myself a Christian because Ihave it all together.
I call myself a Christianbecause I don't, because I need
somebody to hold me together,and that's Jesus.
And you know Jesus himself saidin this world you will have
troubles, but I love what hesaid.
Next he said but take heart,for I have overcome this world.
(20:23):
And so I've been a Christianfor most of my life.
I grew up in the church, mydad's a pastor and I've been
traveling on the road singingabout my faith in Jesus for
years and years.
But I think we maybe facedifferent giants at different
times.
And I struggle and have for along time with anxiety.
(20:46):
As a kid it was social anxiety.
I didn't want to go to school,it was being around people.
It was a long time with anxietyas a kid.
It was social anxiety.
I didn't want to go to school,it was being around people, it
was a lot of different things.
And then on into my adulthood,yeah, those anxieties changed
but the feeling of anxiety in mymind and in my body remained,
and I actually, I think for awhile.
(21:09):
Well, this will get now to thegiant that I abused alcohol and
I drank to excess and I think Iused it to quiet those anxieties
(21:36):
that were inside of me, thatthings I didn't want to feel and
didn't want to deal with, and Iused alcohol to turn down the
volume on that and for a whileit kind of at least seemed like
it worked.
I would feel relaxed, I wouldkind of have a drink before bed
and then, if anyone has had asubstance addiction, you know
(21:58):
the way that works is,eventually you have to start
using more of that substance toget the same feeling you had.
So, in order to feel relaxed,you need a second drink or a
third and so on.
And eventually I got to thepoint where I couldn't.
I didn't feel like I could fallasleep without having that.
And, um, you know, I I tried toquit multiple times on my own.
(22:19):
And I mean, here I am touringthe country singing about Jesus,
and and then I would get on thebus at night and um, it just
became a thing that I felt likeI needed to have and Anyway, it
became a problem.
I tried to quit multiple timesand couldn't do it.
Eventually I realized I wasn'tgoing to be able to do it on my
(22:40):
own, by myself.
I needed to ask for help.
I needed to tell somebody aboutthe extent of the problem I was
having, because I be doing it,but nobody else knew about it,
and so I couldn't ask for help.
So eventually I had just hadenough.
(23:03):
In AA we say I got sick andtired of being sick and tired,
and I called a friend and I waslike man, I am drinking too much
, I can't quit, I need help andI don't know what to do next,
but I'm telling you so that Istay accountable, to stop and to
figure out how to do this.
And then I got into counselingwith an addiction therapist.
I told my wife the extent of myproblems and she was so kind
(23:27):
and gracious and understandingand has been with me every step
of the way.
And next month I'll celebrateseven years of sobriety.
Brian Curee (23:35):
Yeah, since my since my last drink, and next
month I'll celebrate seven yearsof sobriety.
Josh Wilson (23:39):
Wow, yeah, since my last drink and you know thanks,
it hasn't been easy.
It's gotten a lot easier.
The first year was really hardand then second year was tough
and it's gotten easier as I'vegone on.
But it's been so worth it andGod has used friends and family
and therapy and church andprayer, and I try and practice
(24:04):
healthier habits to deal with myanxiety now than, of course, a
substance which is not a goodcure for anxiety.
So that ranges from everythingI just mentioned to you know to
exercise, to make sure I'mconnecting with friends and
staying connected to people,rather than hiding those things
(24:27):
and thinking I can sort of stuffthem in and avoid those things.
So, yeah, in order to face mygiant, I had to get some people
to help me and I can just saythat if any of you out there are
dealing with an addiction or asecret, I can tell you from
experience that trying to fixthat thing on your own is
(24:48):
probably not going to work,because I tried it for a few
years and it just got worse andworse and worse and the shame
piled on because I thought Ifailed again.
I might as well just hit itharder, and then I would hate
myself even more, because howcould I be doing this to myself?
And I mean, the truth is, it'san addictive substance and you
pour more of it down your body,you're going to get addicted to
(25:08):
it, and so I think some of thatshame was unfounded.
Of course, along the way, way,you do make some choices, but,
um, I've learned to to be alittle kinder on myself and to
try and see myself the way Goddoes, which is loved, forgiven,
uh, and free, and to not have togo to those things that I
(25:29):
thought would help but onlyended up hurting.
That's good.
Brian Curee (25:32):
It's beautiful.
Okay, there's a couple ofthings that you said that I
would love to touch on.
Did you have anything that youwanted to say, mrs killer?
No, go right ahead.
Okay, so it had to be difficultfor you, not only as a
christian, to to recognize andthen share that with somebody,
but probably even even anotherlevel, as being a christian
(25:53):
artist that's going outperforming.
What was it like for you totake that first step?
What was it like to step overthat?
Josh Wilson (26:02):
Yeah, Well, here's the other thing.
If anybody out there has everstruggled with an addiction or
with a secret, there comes apoint where it feels like you've
passed the point of no return.
It's like for a while you're'relike I can get away with this,
and then it becomes a problem.
And then you're like, okay, Ineed to stop this.
(26:24):
And then you try and you can't,and you're like wait a second.
And you keep trying and keepfailing, and then it's, and then
it's been so long that youthink to yourself I can't ask
for help now because I've beendoing this for so long that this
, just on paper, looks bad.
It looks like I've been and Ihad been hiding this thing for
(26:45):
so long.
And so, yeah, it really was hard.
The hardest thing was to tellmy wife because she didn't know
that I had this problem.
I hid it very well, I thinkgrowing up in the church,
especially as a pastor's kid,taught me to hide those things,
not alcoholism, but just thethings I don't want people to
(27:08):
know and then going into a jobwhere it is my job to present
myself a certain way.
I'm good at at showing peoplethe parts of me that I want to.
Shawna Curee (27:20):
Sure.
Josh Wilson (27:20):
But when it came time to getting that help, I had
to show the parts of me thathurt and that that were shameful
.
And um, I actually, um, I havea verse.
I'm going to see if I can lookat my phone here.
Uh, and I have a verse.
I'm going to see if I can lookat my phone here and read to you
, because I had this verse.
I was on a tour at the time.
(27:43):
I'm looking at my phone Is myavatar looking up in the air
like anything funny?
Brian Curee (27:46):
You're good.
Okay, you're good, it's notgreat.
It's like you're really in deepthought right now.
Josh Wilson (27:53):
I am so in deep thought, guys.
This is Psalm 32.
And if you have a secret or anaddiction, maybe you can relate
to this.
When I kept silent, my boneswasted away through my groaning
all day long, for day and night,your hand was heavy on me.
My strength was sapped, as inthe heat of summer.
(28:14):
I mean, if that doesn't soundlike a hangover, I don't know
what does.
Then I acknowledged my sin toyou and I did not cover up my
iniquity.
I said I will confess mytransgressions to the Lord and
you forgave me the guilt of mysin.
And then on down, he forgave meall my guilt is gone.
(28:36):
So that verse I had taped to mybunk because I was like I know
this is a problem and I'veconfessed my sin a million times
to the Lord.
But then the other key to mewas James 5.16,.
Confess your sins one toanother and you will be healed.
And that was the piece I wasmissing.
It was like me and God talkedall the time.
(28:58):
I was like God still can't quit.
Help me quit.
And I think he was prompting meI will and I am, and you need
to tell somebody else.
And so that's what it took.
And yeah, it was really, reallyhard and I tried to do it a lot
of times before I actually diddo it, and then I finally did.
(29:19):
And here we are.
I'm free, that's good.
Brian Curee (29:24):
That's good Praise, god, that's amazing.
That's amazing and I have tosay, like, for those of you that
never have been inside a bunkand a tour bus, it's like a
sardine can.
So I mean tour bus, it's likeit's like a sardine can.
So I mean literally.
It's like that scripture wasreally close to you.
Yeah, god, and the scripturewere very literally close that's
what we love about, excuse me,we love about the community in
(29:47):
here.
I know there's a lot of peoplehere that's that has shared.
They've been hurt by church oror you know they're not
connected like they, maybe theirfamily isn't close to them
anymore, and you guys have builtreally close friendships in in
horizons world, here, right herein the metaverse, you guys are
creating amazing friendships.
Yes, I mean, I see we've we'vecelebrated birthdays, you guys.
(30:08):
You know there's, there's beenpeople that have passed away
from here, and I seecelebrations of people coming
together to remember them.
This is a strong community andyou can find close friends in
here, too, to lean on.
And one of the things that wegrew up in a church that we
learned too, is, when someoneopens up and becomes vulnerable
(30:28):
with you, make sure they'rehanding you a sword, they're
trusting you, say, hey, I'mgoing to give this to you, I'm
really dealing with this.
Just be careful not to pick upthat sword and start stabbing
them with it.
Like, really like, be there tolisten, to help them.
Uh, they, they've opened up toyou and been vulnerable because
they feel like you're the personthey can trust.
(30:49):
How was your friend workingwith?
I don't you know?
I know you're not going to saya name or anything like that,
but but how were they supported?
Josh Wilson (30:54):
I don't mind saying his name, his name's James
Teely.
I've written a bunch of songswith him and he's one of my best
friends.
And I called and I said hey,man, I have this problem, I
can't quit, I need to get help.
I'm telling you because I wantyou to hold me accountable.
And he said, okay.
So then I called a counselorfriend and he said okay, come in
tomorrow.
(31:15):
And I did.
And I went in and spilled thebeans and he was like okay,
we've got a good addictiontherapist we work with.
I'm going to send you to him.
And so I started going to himthree times a week and actually
had met with him for probablytwo weeks before I finally was
able to tell my wife.
(31:35):
I still could not bring myselfto tell Becca was able to tell
my wife.
I still could not bring myselfto tell Becca.
And what my counselor told meto do is write out what you want
to say to her and then read itto her in front of her, and that
way you don't forget anything.
And so I thought that wasreally wise.
So I wrote it all out and toldher, and she came with me the
(31:55):
next day to see that addictioncounselor to see.
You know, here's what I'm doing, here's the help I'm getting.
And yeah, I saw him three timesa week for maybe six months and
then two times a week and then,for you know, out of a year I
would see him like once a month.
So it tapered off.
But you know there's lots ofways to get help.
So it tapered off.
(32:16):
But there's lots of ways to gethelp.
And in a room this size,statistically, someone in here
probably has a problem with asubstance and I can just tell
you there's hope, there's help,and the more you sort of keep
that to yourself, the harder itis.
Telling somebody is key and, um, and I also know that, you know
(32:40):
, therapy is expensive and Idon't I don't want to assume I
actually had some people help mewith, with paying for some some
of the help I got.
And if you can't afford that,there are free ways to find help
as well.
Um, one of them is, um, you,you know, if I'm not sure you
know if you're a Christian,there are some Christian ones,
(33:01):
like Celebrate Recovery probablymeets at a church near you.
Just look up Celebrate RecoveryIf you're not a Christian, any
of the anonymous.
You know Alcoholics Anonymous,narcotics Anonymous they don't
require that you are a Christian, you know.
If you're uncomfortable withany of that, that's still a
great place to start.
I think it's really just thecommunity of like-minded people.
It's huge and so all of that'sfree.
(33:27):
Y'all are internet people, soI'm sure a lot of you are.
On Reddit, there's a subredditcalled Stop Drinking.
It's about a quarter millionpeople who are just on there to
help each other quit drinking.
So check out that sub if you'reon Reddit.
That was a place even before Igot sober.
For a couple of years I wouldsort of lurk on that sub and
just like I'd post and be likesomeday I want to be posting on
(33:49):
here saying, hey, I've got sixmonths, I've got a year, I've
got two years sober and that wasa huge resource for me.
Brian Curee (33:56):
Wow, josh, if you wouldn't mind, like later, once
the show's over, like later thisweek, send me those links to
the place you sent, because Iwould love to.
We want to make sure we putthose in the podcast show notes.
Josh Wilson (34:08):
Yeah, for sure, and get help For sure.
There's also a book Annie Graceis the author and it's a book
called this Naked Mind.
It's about alcohol, so that'sanother great resource.
I don't know her, it's just abook that was helpful for me.
Shawna Curee (34:22):
Josh, do you know who Andrew Peterson is?
Josh Wilson (34:25):
I do.
Yeah, he's a good friend.
Shawna Curee (34:27):
Oh really, let's talk about that later.
I'm just kidding, but youtelling your story reminded me
of this quote from the WingedFeather Saga and I wanted to
read it, and I hope I don't crybecause I'm so moved by those
books.
Brian Curee (34:42):
We'll give you a warning.
She always cries, so just cry alot.
This is a safe place.
Josh Wilson (34:47):
It's a safe place.
Shawna Curee (34:48):
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you very much, but Ithought that you all would be
moved by this too, so I wantedto share it.
You all would be moved by thistoo, so I wanted to share it.
Um, he moved through his daysin peace and wonder, for his
whole story had been told forthe first time and he found that
he was still loved.
And that's what, what I heardin your story that you told the
(35:10):
truth, you know, to your friendsand your wife.
And, um, do you tell thesestories to when you perform?
Josh Wilson (35:18):
I do, I do, yeah, and you know I have an
eight-year-old son and so I'mstarting to tell him.
You know some of that and it'snot like some big reveal.
I really, at this point I'mjust an open book.
It's actually really fun totell the truth.
You don't have to keep up withwho you're hiding what from,
it's just show up and it makespublic speaking a lot easier.
(35:39):
I'm just here just to tell thetruth.
Brian Curee (35:41):
We peed on the road .
I was an alcoholic.
Josh Wilson (35:43):
There you go.
Shawna Curee (35:45):
But the two were unrelated.
Josh Wilson (35:52):
Yeah, that particular pee was not alcohol.
Brian Curee (35:54):
We did that sober.
It was water, it was water, itwas water.
You know, josh, I have to saytoo it had to be, and it'd be
difficult to, even as aChristian, to step up and reach
out to a counselor.
I mean, I know some Christianfriends that have reached out
and they told me it was so hard,just because knowing like
there's so much shame thatthey're carrying because of that
(36:16):
too, because they feel likethey're supposed to have it all
together and I love that you'resharing that Like, oh man, it
doesn't mean you have it alltogether.
Josh Wilson (36:24):
Oh, and I'll tell you I'm still I'm not currently
in therapy, but I was, you know,two years ago.
I go anytime that things getkind of rough and that, alcohol
or not, life gets rough, and twoyears ago I had what I would
consider a bit of a mentalbreakdown from anxiety and
depression and panic attacks.
(36:45):
And, yeah, I was right back intherapy and I'm on anxiety
medication and happy to be.
And so, yeah, these thingsdon't disqualify me from being a
Christian or having faith.
They mean I take my faithseriously and I believe that God
uses a lot of different ways toheal.
And I'm not telling anybody totake medication or talk to your
(37:08):
doctor, but there's no shame inany of that, my goodness.
I posted on Instagram recentlythat was like for the Christians
who don't think Christiansshould take medication my
medication helps me go to churchand pray.
If I'm not on this medication, Iremember sitting in a Sunday
service having so much anxietyin my body I had to go out to my
(37:29):
car to breathe.
I couldn't even sit throughchurch because I had so much
anxiety.
And I'm also getting to theroot of that.
I'm not using the medicine as amask not to deal with it, but
it gets me to a baseline where,man, I'm so much better than I
was.
So, yeah, don't hear me saythat it's one and done.
Now that I don't drink, I'vegot it all together.
(37:50):
My goodness, I'm still a messand I'm so thankful for Jesus
and for my church and my friendsand family.
And, yeah, it feels like thestigma about mental health and a
lot of these things is easingup these days, which I think is
really cool, I agree.
Shawna Curee (38:06):
Yeah, I think so too.
Brian Curee (38:07):
Yeah, days which I think is really cool.
I agree, yeah, I think so too.
Yeah, I think that we'relearning more and more about it
with all the digital connectionswe've had, like with social
media and stuff.
There's more of that andthere's so much of it being
buried that it's good foreverybody to realize it's okay
to reach out and get help and weall have giants in different
ways in different areas.
And I was going to say I know alot of people in here know
MetaCoach.
(38:28):
If you are struggling withsomething, go see MetaCoach too.
He's amazing.
He's a life coach.
If you're a veteran, he's aveteran as well.
He's a Christian, but he's agreat person to talk to.
That can also he might be ableto help you.
I know he does like somecounseling in here in the
metaverse.
He's actually a real counselorin life, but he can connect you
with other people too.
(38:48):
He's got a huge network, soreach out to him.
A lot of you probably know howmany of you here know medical.
Or start some confetti If youknow medical.
Yeah, a lot of people here knowmedical.
It's great guy, so reach out tohim too.
Do we have any audience membersthat would like to ask a
question or share with Josh Dawn.
Come on up.
Shawna Curee (39:06):
How are?
Brian Curee (39:06):
you doing Dawn.
Shawna Curee (39:07):
I'm good.
I just want to tell you, Josh,that a lot of our listeners at
our radio station really wereimpacted by things that I'm
afraid of.
Josh Wilson (39:15):
Oh wow, I just want to tell you that yeah.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, that's a song that talksabout anxiety and depression and
mental health and yeah,essentially the message is our
struggles are big, our God is.
Our God is bigger, and thethings that I'm afraid of are
afraid of you.
Shawna Curee (39:34):
So yes.
Brian Curee (39:36):
Thank you so much for sharing that.
Anybody else got a question ora thought they'd like to share
with Josh?
Shawna Curee (39:42):
While he's talking to the audience, josh, I'll
tell you.
When he came back from the,what was it called?
Again the retreat?
Yeah.
And he came back from the uh,what was it called?
Again the retreat, yeah.
And he said he met you.
I was like josh wilson thatsounds so familiar.
He's like revolutionary.
I knew immediately.
I was like what nice.
Nice, because that was thefirst song of yours that I ever
heard yeah um yeah, and it'sjust so catchy.
Chucky (40:03):
I love that song so much well, thank you so much yeah, I
appreciate that I was gonna sayhello, hello, hi, josh, what's
up?
I was gonna say the other day.
Um, I was thinking in my head,I'm like you know, because I'm
new to this christian musicthing yeah, man you know it was,
and, uh, I like to dance and Ithought, you know, there's not
(40:28):
really too many songs out there,christian songs that you can
really, like you know, get down,right, right.
And so then, when Mr KillerBsaid that Josh was going to be
here, and then I got the texttoday and I'm like Josh Wilson,
josh Wilson, I go, hey, googleplay Josh Wilson, and not right
now.
Uh-oh, nope.
Shawna Curee (40:53):
There you go.
Chucky (40:53):
Unplug it when Ruth Revolutionary came on.
I know this song, I love thissong.
You can dance to that song.
Shawna Curee (41:02):
You can dance.
You can dance to that song.
Chucky (41:06):
I just want to say that's an awesome song.
Josh Wilson (41:07):
I love it, man.
Thank you, awesome song.
I love it, man.
Yeah, thank you so much Iappreciate it, brother, that's
awesome.
Brian Curee (41:13):
Well, let me just clarify you can dance to that
song.
If you're not me, let me justclarify that you can dance to
that song, darling.
Yeah, yeah, I'll just let youbelieve that we're not going to
try to test it out.
No videos, that we're not goingto try to test it out and no
videos.
So, as we wrap up, josh, Iwould like to ask you if there
(41:33):
is one thing that you would hopepeople would walk away from
this interview, from your story,what would it be?
Josh Wilson (41:39):
um, well, that there is hope.
I uh, I really didn't think Iwas going to be able to to quit
and to find help and hope, andif there's hope for me, there's
hope for anybody.
So, yeah, if you've got thatthing that you know or that you
think you can't quit, I was inyour shoes just about seven
(42:03):
years ago and here I am and it'spossible, and the two things
that helped me were to tell,tell God and tell somebody else.
Um, tell God, tell a trustedfriend, and then new life begins
.
It's not easy, but, uh, butit's beautiful.
We'll see how this song goes onguitar.
(42:23):
Like I said, I've never done it, um, but it's called God's Not
Mad at you.
It goes like this Like I said,I've never done it, but it's
called God's Not Mad at you.
It goes like this Do you everhave days when you hate yourself
(42:43):
?
I've had plenty of days likethat myself, when you just can't
pray the pain away and youwonder if you just need more
faith or God might move on tosomeone else.
If you feel that way, let's geta few things straight.
One God's not mad at you.
(43:05):
Two you are not a burden.
Three there is always hope,even though I know you're
hurting.
Four this is not forever.
Five Jesus loves you, and so doI.
I know it's easy to forget, sowhen you do, just count again If
you enjoyed this episode don'tforget to follow this podcast
(43:27):
and leave us a review.
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