Understanding How Fear Secretly Controls Your Life: And How to Break Free With Rhonda Britten

Episode Transcript
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Rhonda Britten (00:00):
Because I believe that our destinies are
interwoven with the worst daysof our lives.
So the worst day of my life waswhen I was 14 and it was
Father's Day.
My parents had recentlyseparated and my father was
coming to take us to Sundaybrunch.
And my mom and I start walkingtowards the back door.
So my dad was open up his trunkand out of the corner of my eye
I recognized that he wasn'tgrabbing a coat, but he grabbed

(00:22):
a gun and he started yelling.
You made me do this.

Brian (Mr.KillerB) (00:26):
Welcome to the New Horizons podcast.
I'm Brian Curee.

Shawna (Mrs.KillerB) (00:30):
And I'm Shauna Curee, also known as Mr
and Mrs Killer B, in virtualreality.

So this podcast is recorded live from
the metaverse at the Killer Bstudios.

Where real life stories and experiences
are shared in a way only themetaverse can offer.

With that, let's go ahead and dive into
today's episode.
Hey everybody, welcome to thekiller bee studios.
Let's throw some confetti todean or two.

Yvonne (00:54):
We always leave the producers out for you, confetti
for you confetti for relaxing.

Relaxing, man, it's great seeing you all
right?
Well, I'm gonna ask you guys aquestion first.
So buy a show of confetti,throw some confetti.
Uh, if you, somebody, if any ofyou tonight, has ever held back
not because you were scared,but because you didn't want to
be judged, or maybe you'reafraid of failing, or maybe

(01:21):
you're afraid you look foolishokay, I see big slop.
Oh, yes, okay, all right, allright, you guys are the right
audience.
You guys are in the right placetonight.

This is what about you, mr killer b?
No, you.
Do you feel like you've heldback?
For I got to it first, do you?
Because I don't want to answerthat question.
Uh, do you think that you haveheld back on doing things for
that reason?
Because of fear no, well, yes,but like, what you asked them

(01:50):
was not because you were afraid,but because you were afraid of
being judged, or you thought youwould be judged, or you'd be
seen as foolish yeah, yeah, Idefinitely have.

I definitely have, especially like when it
comes to like new, you know,careers, new changes and and
work professions, definitely.
Or even sometimes it's justlike I'm afraid to step up and
say something that I feel isvery important or I need to say,
and then I'm afraid, well, whatif other people don't agree
with me?
And but I've learned over thepast like to step out and just

(02:23):
say it tends to be ends up beinga blessing for the other people
where I find out they're goingthrough the same stuff that I'm
embarrassed to open up about.
So so, yeah, that answers yourquestion.
Does that answer your question?
It does yes.
You put me in the hot seat?
I don't know.

You always put me on the hot seat.
But yes, I will say too youknow it's something I've been
dealing with lately actually iskind of the fear of being
misunderstood, I think is whatI'm kind of dealing with right
now is, you know, I love peopleand I love talking to people and
, you know, sometimes I'm like alittle more open than I should
be, you know.
And so lately I've been kind ofdealing with that fear of like
looking stupid.
So I'll try to or I guess I amholding myself back more than I

(03:13):
used to, because now I'mthinking like, oh, they're just
going to think I'm an idiot if Isay what I want to say, you
know.
So I.
I feel like this is going to behelpful for me, because that's
definitely kind of a newer sortof struggle I've been having.

I get that.
So you guys throw some confetti.
If you can relate to Mrs KillerBee on that, I can definitely.
Yeah, I see it, Deeenr.
How about you?
Let's put Deeenr on the hotspot.
She's over there, got a mic.
She's not used it for a while.
Got dusted off a little bit.
Gotta dust it off a little bit.

(03:50):
Braid, you see her cool hair.
Oh, you gotta put your handunder the mic because we can't
hear you remember yep, there yougo right.

Deeenr (03:52):
Yeah see, it's been so long I, you know, I think we all
go through that.
You know we're just, we don'twant to be judged, we want to,
we want, we want people to likeus.
So we sometimes keep our mouthshut and not speak out because
of that.
So I think we all deal withthat from time to time and it's

(04:15):
really sad because the peoplethat that we care about, they
love us just the way yeah sotrue you

know what's interesting too is when you just
said that, dina, I justrealized that's exactly what my
thought has been Like.
I don't want to be judged bypeople, but then, if I really
think about it, I'm kind ofjudging myself before even
allowing them the opportunity tojudge me.
Our topic tonight, our topictonight that we're going to get
into, is fearless living.
Now, who here would love to?

(04:44):
Yes, I already see Legacy'salready throwing her hands up.

Would love to live fearlessly.
Yeah, I see a lot of confetti.

Me too, everybody.
Yes, I want to.
Mrs Killer Bee, this has reallygot me thinking about like what
if fear?
What if fear?
Just what if fear isn't justwhat you feel when you're scared
, like sometimes, when I thinkof fear, I think like that's
something that I'm only going tofeel when I'm scared, but what
if it's actually like more oflike an invisible force that is
really quietly running our lives?

(05:15):
And I think that's what we'rereally going to dive into with
with Rhonda tonight.
So, Rhonda, if you guys don'tknow, Rhonda Britton is an Emmy
Award winner.
She is a bestselling author andthe founder of the Fearless
Living Institute.
So let's rain her some confetti, let's hit the guest music and
let's bring out and celebrateand welcome Rhonda to the Killer

(05:37):
Bee Studios.
Rhonda, come on out, look ather, she's dancing and
everything.

Look at me .

Deeenr (05:46):
Look at her she's dancing and everything Look at
me.

I'm amazing.

I'm amazing.

Yeah, that's right.

Yvonne (05:55):
I did it, I got here.

I had to practice a lot for that.
By the way, I got last likethree times I was like help,
help.
I don't know where I am.

Help.
Oh my gosh, that's the mostcolorful entrance we've ever had
, by the way.

Rhonda, that's right.
That's right Because I'mfearless.

That's awesome you are.

That's why you're here in the first place.
Right, that's right, that'sright.
Thank you so much, yes.
Thank you so much, yes.
Thank you for joining us.

We're so glad you're here, Rhonda.
Rhonda, would you take about 30seconds and tell everybody a
little bit about you?

Oh my gosh.
Well, do you want to know whatI've been doing and changing
lives?
Do you want to know about theevent that happened when I was
14 and made my life miserablefor 20 years?
Do you want to know about myEmmy or my TV appearances or my
books?

What part do you want to know, mr and Mrs?
Okay, so I would say, give us aquick 30 seconds of your
background.
We're going to dive into yourstory.
We're going to have way morethan 30 seconds, so maybe tell
us about the.
You get confetti, you getconfetti.
What are we talking about?
What is all this?
What's your background?

Well, I became a life coach 30 years ago and
there was no coaching.
There was no nobody coachingback then and I went on to write
four books.
I'm a bestselling authorFearless living is my
bestselling book and then I wenton to be the first life coach
on television in the world, andso I've done over 600 episodes
of television.
Yes, I've done more TV thanJennifer Aniston.
I'm just saying the truth,people, I'm just saying the

(07:23):
truth.
So I've done more TV than manypeople that you see on TV and
I've changed lives.
So I have done three televisionshows and now I get to be here
with you all and supporting youto make your changes that you
want to make.

Deeenr (07:38):
If you want to make any, who?

wants to make some changes.
Give me some confetti.
Any changes?
Excellent, okay.
If you don't, that's groovy too.
Okay, great, excellent.
So yeah.
So I've written books.
I've been on TV, been radiopodcast, and here I am with you
now.

I noticed that you were on the Steve
Harvey show too.

I was on Steve Harvey, I was on Oprah, I was on
early morning shows, on thetoday show, good morning America
.
Yes and yes and yes.

So that's where the confetti and you get
confetti.
You get confetti from SteveHarvey.

No, that's .
I thought you were serious.

I've seen the gifs.
I've seen the gifs.

Yeah, I get that GIFs.

You get confetti.
Yeah, I get that.
That's awesome.
I think Eli knew it too.
I think Eli knew it too.
Well, it's an honor to have youjoin us, Rhonda.
It's an honor to have you joinus.
I want to like, when you and meconnected and I was reading
about your story already andwhat you do, and then we
connected on Zoom, I was like,yeah, we've got to get you on
here and I don't want tohesitate and waste any more time

(08:43):
.
I want to get right into yourstory.
So first, maybe, just go aheadand take us back and share with
us what led you to this missionof helping people live
fearlessly.

Yeah, does anybody have a desire to help
people go through what they wentthrough?
Does anybody have that?
Give me some confetti If youhave some knowledge or wisdom
that you'd like to share.
Anything at all, it doesn'tmatter how little or big
anything and how many peoplelove to support other people
when they're going through hardtimes.
Anybody, I do, I know, I loveit.
I love it.
I love it.
Well, when I was 14 years old,I'm going to tell you about the

(09:14):
worst day of my life, because Ibelieve that our destinies are
interwoven with the best days,with the worst days of our lives
, so we normally can't see itwhen the worst day is happening.
Of course, we only can see itafterwards.
So the worst day of my life waswhen I was 14 years old and I
grew up in a little tiny town inupper Michigan, in the Upper

(09:35):
Peninsula of Michigan, and ithad two restaurants the Douglas
House, fancy Buffet Hotel andBig Boy.
That's it.
No, mcdonald's, no, nothing.
And it was Father's Day.
My parents had recentlyseparated and my father was
coming to take us to Sundaybrunch, so my mother was in her
bedroom puffing up her beehivehairdo.
Anybody know the beehive hairdo?
Anybody give me some.

Deeenr (09:55):
Okay.

All right.
Well, my mother's, you know,puffing up her beehive, putting
on her blue eyeshadow and a rosecolor lipstick, and my dad
walks in, come on, come on, comeon, because that's what dads do
.
And my sisters my two sistersare fighting it out in our one
bathroom and my mom and I startwalking towards the back door to
go with my dad out to brunch.
My sister's still in thebathroom fighting it out and as

(10:18):
we're walking out, my dadnoticed it's starting to
sprinkle and so he says to us Igot to go get my coat from the
car.
Now this coat is a tan Nagahide leisure suit coat.
Anybody know what Naga hideleisure suit coat?
Anybody remember?
Anybody old enough to remember?
Thank you, iris.
Thank you so much forremembering.
Thank you so much, thank you.
So my dad was open up his trunk,getting out his tan Naga hide

(10:40):
leisure suit coat and out of thecorner of my eye, I recognized
that he wasn't grabbing a coat,but he grabbed a gun and he
started yelling at my mother.
You made me do this, you mademe do this and he fired.
And I start yelling.
What are you doing, dad?
Stop.
What are you doing, dad?
And he points the gun to me andI believe I'm next and I stare

(11:03):
at him.
He stares at me, he blinks, Iblink, I blink, he blinks, and
my mother, literally with herlast breath, screams out no,
don't.
And my father, realizing mymother's still alive, takes that
bullet intended for me andshoots my mother a second time,
and the second bullet goesthrough my mother's abdomen, out
her back, lands in the car hornand for the next 20 minutes all
I hear is and then my fathercocks the gun one more time,

(11:29):
puts it to his head and fires.
So in a matter of two minutes Iwas the sole witness of
watching my father murder mymother and commit suicide in
front of me.
Now I don't know how you'drespond, but this is how I
responded.
It's my fault, because I wasthe only one out there that
could have saved her and Ididn't grab the gun, I didn't
kick his shins, I didn't jump infront of my mother, I did

(11:52):
nothing heroic.
And so I, in that moment,divided in two, the outside
Rhonda and the inside Rhonda.
The outside Rhonda is I'm fine,I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine,
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine,I'm fine.
But the inside Rhonda?
Self-hatred, guilt, regret.
I did not believe I could everbe happy again, because when you
watch your mother die, youdon't get to be happy ever again

(12:12):
.
And so I went on and startedmoving through my life with
these two people occupying thisone body the person that I
pretended I was out in the world, I'm fine, and the person who
was self-destructive and whodidn't love herself and didn't
even like herself.
So by the time I hit college, Ifound alcohol and became an

(12:33):
alcoholic, had three DUIs andthree suicide attempts, and it
was my third suicide attemptthat I realized something.
I realized I am not very goodat killing myself not good at
that, and I better figure outanother way because I'm not
dying Now.
During those 20 years ofsuiciding, dui and drinking, I
also was reading books and goingto workshops and going to

(12:56):
therapy.
I was doing everything I could,everything I could, to save
myself.
But as I sat there, by the way,when you try to kill yourself
three times, I do put you in apsychiatric ward for evaluation.
And so I'm in the psychiatricward.
They deem me not crazy, theylet me go, and as I get home
that day I realize I have a lotof knowledge because I did a lot

(13:18):
of things to help myself, but Idon't know how to apply it to
my life.
I don't know how to change mylife.
I just know what they told me,but they never showed me.
So I realized I had to startover from the beginning.
So I thought to myself well,what do kindergartners do?
Well, you know what they getcalendar and gold stars.
So I bought a calendar and Ibought some gold stars and for

(13:39):
the next 30 days I put a goldstar anytime I did anything good
, and I mean anything good, andI'm talking about drinking and
not breaking anything.
That's where I was.
And at the end of 30 days I hadhope, because I had a calendar
filled with gold stars and Iknew that if I just started
taking different actions,instead of just getting tools

(14:01):
and skills without applying them, if I just started applying
them in a different way, maybe Icould change my life.
And that's what led me to whatI do today.
Of course, not right away.
It took me many years to get tothis place, but that was my
journey and I look back and Ican see so clearly.
You know, my parents' death,completely step by step, brought
me here.

And I saw just recently I've been
following you on LinkedIn andstuff and I saw that you made a
post, too, about you shared alittle bit of your right Writing
a.
What is it A memoir?
A memoir, yes, and you wroteabout one of your friend.
His name was.

Deeenr (14:39):
Bill Bill, bill Bill.
Okay yeah.

Yeah, Bill, About when you're in that place
where the drinking was becominga problem and you wasn't
recognize it.
I love what you said.
Now would you mind to sharewith people a little bit about
that story too, Because I feellike when we're in those places
which I know we'll talk moreabout fear and some of the ways

(15:02):
that it sneaks up on us and theway we cope with that.
I want to dive into that, butone of the things that I was
reading on your article or yourmemoir that you're writing was
about how Billy kind of spoke toyou about that and I thought
that was so beautiful.
So would you mind to share alittle bit of that as well?

I'd be happy to, and I love that you brought up
fear, because all during those20 years that I was, you know,
reading books and going totherapy and everything, I didn't
think I was afraid.
I mean, I grew up in upperMichigan and Minnesota.
I'm 100% Finnish, so we don'thave fear, we don't.
There's no conversation Like ifyou would have asked me, if
Bill would have asked me.
That day that you're talkingabout, which I'll share in a
moment, he would have asked meare you scared?

(15:39):
Said no, I had no relationshipto fear.
I did not think I was afraid.
I did not think I was scared,even though, looking back on it,
I was petrified.
I was waitressing at a littlerestaurant and he was the
bartender and he would always hewas sober and I clearly wasn't
and he would say to me littlethings about well, you know,
Rhonda, you might have a problem.

(16:00):
And I would be like, well, Imight have a problem, but I, you
know, but I don't.
So ha, you know I would.
I didn't want to admit it, Ididn't want to believe it and
and and I and I don't know ifanybody here relates, but I knew
I didn't handle my drinkingwell for five years, but I
definitely didn't want to quit.
I loved drinking.
And so Bill that day said to mehey, Rhonda, you know, going to

(16:23):
be really going to be a realbummer.
And I'm like, well, it's goingto be a real bummer, he goes.
Well, you're so talented.
I'm like uh-huh, and he goesyeah, and you're going to lose
it all.
And I'm like, what?
What do you mean?
I'm going to lose it all.
And he goes well, you know,drinking is progressive disease

(16:51):
and the more successful you'llget, the more stress you'll be
under and the more you'll end updrinking.
And you'll be because you'll befamous one day.
And when you're famous, it'sgoing to get really stressful
and you are going to loseeverything.
And I was so irritated andupset because I was like how, no
, I'm not going to.
I am working my behind off,right, I cannot lose everything
after I've spent my whole lifetrying to change my life.
No, I'm not doing this.

(17:12):
And he goes well, you're goingto lose everything.
And so I said to him, afterhanding out a few oysters and
some drinks, I came back to himand said I'm going to prove to
you that I don't have a problem.
Now, what I didn't share iswhat I did.
So I said to him I do not havea problem, I'm going to prove it
to you.
And he goes okay, great, I'lllook forward to seeing that.

(17:34):
So I went home that night and Iwas like, okay, what am I going
to do?
I got to prove, proved to Billand myself that I don't have a
problem.
So I came up with this, I cameup with this plan.
I said, okay, I am going todrink one drink a day for 30
days, because if you can onlyhave one drink a day, then
clearly you're not an alcoholicright.
If you can only, if you canhave one drink, I mean right.
I mean it proves you're not analcoholic right, so I can have

(17:57):
one drink, can't I?
So I I went up to him the nextday and go okay, I've got my
challenge, I'm going to prove toyou I'm going to have one drink
a day, and if I can have onedrink a day for 30 days, it
proves it.
And he looked at me like, well,usually when you're doing a
challenge, you don't drink atall.
And I'm like, yeah, but I'mgoing to prove it by one drink,
right?
So I right, like the joke ofthe century is right.

Yvonne (18:18):
You're going to take it to the next level.

Yeah, yeah, I'm going to drink one a day and I'm
going to prove it to you.
So I did that.
I drank one a day.
Well, by the second week, mywhole life, my entire day, was
occupied with when I was goingto have that drink.

LostVirtually (18:38):
If I had it at lunch.

I couldn't have it at happy hour.
If I had it at happy hour, Icouldn't have it with dinner.
If I had it at dinner, Icouldn't have it after dinner.
If I had it after dinner, Icouldn't have it before I went
to bed and my entire day becamepreoccupied when I could
optimize my one drink.
And so at the end of like endof the third week, with me being

(18:59):
so spending all of my timethinking about when I could
drink, I had to confess tomyself that I had a drinking
problem and that I was analcoholic.
And, trust me, I was like well,I can, but I can drink one a
day.
But what makes me an alcoholicis I can't stop thinking about
it.
I can't stop thinking about it.

(19:21):
And so that I did the 30 days.
I had my one drink a day, mymind obsessed with drinking.
And then I think I ended it onlike a Tuesday, and on Thursday
I went to my first meeting andI've been sober ever since.

Wow, wow, yeah, that's amazing.
Yeah, it is, it is, it is, it isa confetti moment for sure,
absolutely yeah, and I love likewhat I really liked about what
I was reading too, and that iscool to hear the rest of the
story.
I did not know all that so I'mglad I asked about it.
I wasn't even on my list totalk about but I was.
Like you know, I want to talkto her about this because I
really appreciated too what youwrote about how bill he lets you

(19:58):
sit in that Like he let youjust kind of stew in that.
I think that's the word youused.

He didn't confront me right, he didn't
confront me right.
He was just clever.
He's like, well, it's going tobe too bad, Rhonda, and I'm like
what, what do you?
Mean Like he didn't say likeyou've got a problem, lady.
You didn't do that.
Oh, you know, oh, it's going tobe too bad.
Bummer drag, and yeah, he justlet me process it.

Let me sit there.

And I and I really appreciated Bill a lot
and I wanted to prove to himthat I wasn't going to lose
everything which clearly I wouldhave.

And I, like I want to get into the fear side
of it too and cause one of thethings that that you said just a
little bit ago about how younever really walked around
saying like I'm afraid, I'mafraid, and I don't think a lot
of us do.
I don't think a lot of us walkaround saying we're afraid.
But you teach that fear showsup in sneaky ways and I'm

(20:53):
curious too, as we get into thisis that part of?
Did you learn that?
Maybe the alcohol was part ofthat too?
I don't know, but think aboutthat for just a second.
We do have a question.
I want to bring this up.
Uh, yvonne, come on down.
Let's bring yvonne up and thenwe're going to go into what are
some of these sneaky ways thatfear can show up in our daily
life so we don't even realizecan?

Yvonne (21:12):
you hear me?
Yes, hi, yvonne.
Okay, so you're talking about,um, the alcohol and all of that,
um, what's a common mistakethat people make when they're
trying to change their life?
Like, what's one of the bigthings that you've noticed over
the years?

I love that question.
I'm going to tell you such a.
I'm going to tell you theanswer that comes through me
right away is they blamethemselves.
They spend so much of theirtime in regret and beating
themselves up that it's likethey're carrying this heavy load
while they're trying to moveinto a new way of being, into a
new way of thinking, but they'reburdened by the past and

(21:50):
they're and they it's almostlike they're punishing
themselves.
Right, I did these horriblethings and I can't let them go.
I want to change, I want to bea different person, but I've got
to pay repentance or I've gotto pay for these things.
So when we beat ourselves up,it is the number one tool fear
uses to keep you stuck.
So in the world of fearlessliving, beating yourself up is

(22:10):
no longer an option, no longeran option.
So when you beat yourself up,you're literally telling fear,
you won, fear, you won, you won.
So we want to shift that.

Wow, yeah, so like would you say, like a
common phrase that came to, justwas kind of come to my mind was
I'm not good enough.
Is that kind of like a positionof beating yourself up?
Is that like a place that couldstart?

Yeah, so I believe in something called.
I've created something calledthe wheel of fear and the wheel
of freedom, and the wheel offear and the wheel of freedom
are personalized.
You're personalized fear.
Okay, so everybody has adifferent wheel, like Iris has a
different wheel than Yvonne,yvonne has a different world
than EJ, ej, ej and arcane has adifferent wheels.
So you have a wheel of fearthat you get on because, because

(22:55):
when you're, when your lifeisn't working, does it feel like
you're a hamster on a treadmill?
Give me some confetti, if that'strue right, you feel like you
can't get out right.
Well, it's because you're onthe wheel of fear.
And so what I've created is thewheel of fear to help you
personalize it, because we alsodon't change when it's general.
When it's generalized, we don'tchange because it's not about

(23:15):
us, right.
We need to personalize thingsto really have it hit hard.
And then I've created a wheelof freedom which helps you set
yourself free.
So how fear shows up, youbrought about drinking.
So one of the components of thewheel of fear there's four
components.
One is the core trigger andthat is your deepest, darkest
fear, the thing that you don'teven know, you're afraid of and

(23:36):
that takes us to fear responses.
And fear responses are thingsyou know, you do, that you
really wish you didn't do.
So.
If you think of all theproblems you have, all the
character defects, the flaws,you think all the things you
beat yourself up forprocrastination, perfectionism,
complaining, judging,disconnecting, feeling like a

(23:57):
victim, bitter regret, I couldgo on and on and on.
All of these things are fearresponses, because you wouldn't
procrastinate unless there was afear.
You wouldn't people please.
If there wasn't a fear, youwouldn't get overwhelmed.
If there wasn't a fear, youwouldn't get irritated if there
wasn't a fear, right, youwouldn't judge if there wasn't a
fear.
So fear is the thing thatcauses all of these fear

(24:17):
responses that you think and Ithink are my, were my problems,
and I would beat myself up forprocrastination, people pleasing
, perfectionism, overwhelm,anxiety, et cetera.
And those aren't actually theproblem.
The fear is and once you canidentify what your quote,
unquote core fear is the fear.

(24:38):
Responses change, they alterbecause you, it's like fear has
been caught Right, fear has beencaught, alter because you, it's
like fear has been caught right, fear has been caught.
So when you bring up thedrinking, so let's say for a
minute that we have the corefear, the core fear, the core
trigger, and I can tell you whatmine is.
I can tell you what mine is, mycore fear, which, if you would
have asked me this before, Iwould have looked at you like
you're a crazy person, because Ido not identify this way.
And that's the other thingabout fear is you don't identify

(25:01):
with what you're really afraidof.
You're just like no way, Iwould never do that.
Well, my core fear, the thingthat's underneath everything, is
I'm petrified that you'll seeme, judge me, believe that I'm a
loser, okay.
So when that is walking aroundinside of me without me seeing
it, imagine how sensitive I amto criticism, how sensitive I am

(25:25):
to feeling less than to feelingnot good enough, right?
So then, when you say something, when I go into a networking
event, I go into a party, right,go into a place and let's say,
I walk in and somebody kind oflooks at me and then, just like
you know, rolls their eyes andlooks away.
Right, most people feel likethey did that to me just now.
They did it to me.

(25:46):
I don't belong here, you know,I don't.
I should leave.
I don't feel included, I don'tfeel like I belong here.
And so we make decisions basedon how other people's, how other
people are looking at us ortalking to us or treating us
when it's really, if we, wedidn't have that fear, that
wouldn't even bother us,wouldn't even bother us at all.

(26:12):
But because I have that triggercalled the loser trigger, you
give me a dirty look or you rollyour eyes, I immediately think
you think I'm a loser.
Now, not consciously, I'm,didn't have that awareness, but
I would start doing fearresponses.
Maybe I'd brag, maybe I'd getlouder, maybe I'd laugh louder,
right, I do something to shiftit right.
And then, when you start doingyour fear responses, what ends
up happening is let's thinkabout it, you people, please,
for two weeks in a row, or youjudge yourself or you beat

(26:35):
yourself up, you eventually gointo what I call the core
negative feeling, and thatfeeling is the feeling you do
not want to feel.
We all have feelings we do notwant to feel, and my feeling
that I do not want to feel isworthless.
I mean, how many people lovefeeling worthless?
No, not me.
I do not want to feel worthless.

(26:56):
So then, when I have thatfeeling really over overcoming
me, I move into what's calledself-destructive behaviors.
And that's where my alcoholismcame in, right.
So my fear response might beone drink.
My self-destructive might bethe whole bottle.
Right.
The fear response might be youknow five cookies and the
self-destructive is the wholebag.

(27:17):
The fear response might be I'm,I'm isolating myself for an
afternoon.
Self-destructive might be I'venot left my house for a week.
So the intensity switches.
And so then we get on thishamster wheel.
Then we go oh see, now, when Ido my self-destructive when I
drink, it only proves that Ihave to get better at hiding
that I'm a loser.
I've got to get better at it.

(27:37):
I've got to get better at myfear responses.
And so we're constantly tryingto make ourselves better through
fear, rather than sideliningfear altogether.
Because fear is part of ourbiology, gang neurobiology.
You're not getting rid of it.
You cannot get rid of fear.
It's part of how we're made up.
It's how we're made by God.
He gave us this neurobiology offear.
And so we get to decide wait aminute, do I want to keep on

(28:00):
living on my wheel of fear?
Do I want to go over to mywheel of freedom and live a life
that is authentically true tomyself and live my higher
purpose?
Yeah, that's right.
The legacy, that's right.
I want to live my purpose,that's right, that's right.

I love like this.
There you go.

Deeenr (28:16):
You got it, you got it, you got the emojis rocking in
here.

Yeah, this is so good.
This is so good Because, likeliterally, me and Mrs Killer Bee
was just talking about somethings, like some people that
we've been hanging out with, andI've told her I was like I just
feel uncomfortable for somereason.
I'm trying to figure out why doI feel like this?
Like this isn't normal for me.
And she's like well, I'venoticed like sometimes, when
you're around them, you'll talka lot and you won't stop talking

(28:42):
and, and, and.
You can share some of the otherthings.
We have to say that would be afair response.

That would be your fair response.
Yeah, please do tell him thisis Killer Bee.

We just started to recognize exactly
what you're talking about.
That.
I just kind of quietly thoughtabout it by myself while we were
driving and it just came to melike he doesn't know what they
think about him because hedoesn't know him that well and
so he's afraid of what they'rethinking of him.
And it was coming throughbecause he's so personable and
he's so kind and friendly.

(29:17):
But he was just kind of, youknow, like not acting like
himself and talking too much.

He was doing overtime, overtime.
Yes, and I was talking a lot.

Yeah, talking like a little bit about
business, because I'm like well,they'll understand business,
because that's what they talk.
I know that part about them andthat's my work, and that's my
work.

They'll see I'm an expert and they'll see I'm
amazing because I do all theseamazing things and I do all
these really unique things.
And then if they hear that, youknow I had that problem with
dating.
I just wanted to talk about mybusiness because I didn't want
to get to know you, I justwanted you to be impressed by me
because again, that losertrigger was activated right.

The loser trigger was activated so be impressed
by me.

Don't love me, right, even though that's what I
wanted, right?
Can't be loved on your wheel offear.
Your wheel of fear will alwaysreject it, so yeah.
So you started noticing yourwheel of fear.
You started noticing what Icall the fear responses.
So I want to say one thingbefore we continue is that if
you think of there's nine areasof life you know health,
business, you know your career,financial, emotional wellbeing,

(30:19):
et cetera, intimaterelationships, family you may be
already naturally living onyour wheel of freedom in some of
those areas.
Already you know where you'reliving and you're rocking and
you're doing awesome.
Right, you might be reallyawesome in your personal
relationships.
Well, you're already living onyour wheel of freedom.
You just don't know it right.
But if you've got an area ofyour life that you're really
rocking, you're already livingin your wheel of freedom.

(30:41):
It's the areas that I want youto be thinking about while we're
talking today is the areas thataren't working for you.
So is it your health?
Is it your finances?
Is it your career?
Is it your personalrelationship?
Is it your family?
Is it your friends, like whereis it that's not working?

And what you're saying, mrs Killer Bee,
and Mr Killer Bee, what I loveis that you're starting to
notice the subtleties of fear.
Right, right, yeah, absolutelyyeah, cause it's interesting and
this is so timely for us, justthat it's just amazing how God
works, timing out, and this isso I and I know that a lot of
people are going to get so muchvalue out of what you're saying.
So, yes, please continue.

Yeah, it's really interesting too because,
like, this was something that Iwas struggling with for a while
I mean for a while and wecontinue to talk about it until
driving down the road, it justit just came to her and she's
like I think I know what's goingon, let me just share this with
you.
I was like, yes, please do,cause I'm I can't figure it out,
I don't know what this is.
And when she said that, I'mlike you're absolutely right,

(31:42):
that's what that's.
My problem is, I'm afraid of Idon't know what they think of me
.
So, at the same time, I don'tknow what they think of me.
So I'm trying to figure out howI want to make sure they like
me, you know.
So I'm like doing all thisstuff out of fear and not really
acknowledging.
I never would have seen that asfear, yeah, but but yeah, it
makes total sense, total sense.

And then when you start living on your wheel
of freedom, now get it, gang.
Our number one core need, allof our number one core need mine
, yours, everybody here andeverybody who knows number one
core need is connection andbelonging.
So we all want to connect andbelong, right, we all want to
connect and belong.
So that was your need, right?
You needed to be connected andbelong and because you didn't

(32:22):
know it, you felt the spacebetween the two of you.
You didn't feel connected andbelong and you just decided to
put yourself out there more tobe like is this going to make me
feel connected and belong?
Is this going to make them giveme a sign they like me?
They're not giving me signs.
They like me yet.
Wait a minute, where's the signthey like me?
Wait, why aren't they sellingme Like?
Why aren't they doingcomplimenting me, saying you're
amazing, or some sign?

(32:43):
So he was threatened.
Let's just say, for the sake ofthe conversation, he was
threatened because he didn'tknow where they stood.
Well, when you don't know wheresomebody stand, that's you
don't feel connected and belong,right?
So your number one core need ismissing.
But there's other ways tohandle that.
One is, of course, internallyand recognizing that you have

(33:03):
all the space and time for themto feel connected and belong to
you.
Like you don't have to be in ahurry.
Right Because right, Becauseyou're talking a lot.
That means you want to know nowlike hey, is this, is this the
dance you want me to take?
Is this am?
I saying the right things, nowRight.
But if you are totally coolwith them taking as long as they

(33:25):
want and you being authenticbecause that's the only way you
want them to like you right,that's the only way you want
them to like you is beingauthentic Then you have all the
time in the world, and so ifthey take six months, you're
cool.
Or if they never show you signsbecause that might be their
fear that they never let peopleknow what they think that might
be, how their fear is, they keepeverything close to the vest

(33:46):
they may.
Some people never complimentother people.
Some people never say I reallylike you, no.
Some people never say you'rereally impressive, they don't.
So that person may never giveyou what you want.

Oh, that's, I never even thought about it.
From that side too, that's,that's really good.
Oh yeah, I'm gonna bring it.
We got some people forquestions.
I want to hear.

Deeenr (34:06):
Let's hear some questions definitely.

Uh, this has been so awesome.
I can't wait to continue.
Let's go ahead and bring up uhlost, virtually lost, virtually.
Come on down uh hello, how'severybody doing?

Good, how are you doing?
We're glad you found yourselfhere.
Good.

Yeah, exactly yeah.

So tell me about the wheel of fear and the wheel
of freedom.
When it came to COVID, oh yeah,I felt myself, you know, really
kind of clinging to the wheelof freedom, because it's, you
know, I think that I startedclinging to it more and more

(34:45):
because, for the first time inmy life, people were trying to
take that wheel away.
So I knew that I and, and andpeople were flocking to the fear
wheel in droves, and it was, itmust've been, the time for, uh,

(35:05):
mental health in the history ofthe country.

I just wonder what your thoughts were on that
well, I love that question,thank you, you know, um covid
was, and just any any umcultural phenomenon, any
challenge on a national level ora world level is going to make
us rethink our place in theworld and make us rethink our

(35:29):
values and make us rethink whatdo we really believe?
So the COVID for some people itwas the worst time of their
life and for some people it wasthe best time of their life.
You know, like my niece started, she would have never
homeschooled, right, she wouldhave never homeschooled.
She's homeschooling now and sheloves it and they have such a

(35:50):
simpler life, more balanced life.
I mean, again, she would havenever done it in a million
hundred years, but because shewas forced to, in the sense of
you know, I don't want my kidsto do this online school anymore
.
She was like I and her mother'sa teacher, my sister's a
teacher, so she's like I'm justgoing to start doing it and
their life is so much morepleasant now, easier now, joyous

(36:11):
now.
So for my niece, rachel, covidgave her a different life than
she ever imagined and it's ahappier, more peaceful life.
Other people got from like theydidn't have to go into the
office and they realized I likeworking from home.
And then other people were likeI hate working from home.
So it made all of us reallyreally think about what we need

(36:34):
and what really supports us.
So these times in our lives thatare very difficult are
opportunities for us toinvestigate what works for us
and what doesn't, what isaligned with our values.
And oh, by the way, maybe yourvalues aren't what you think
they are, maybe what you thinkyou're committed to isn't really
what you're committed to.
Because I know for me, I was Ialways say that my favorite

(36:57):
color was green.
And I realized, when I wasmoving through my own transition
and my own transformation, mycolor favorite color was green,
because my kindergartenboyfriend's favorite color was
green.
I never chose that.
So I, yeah, and my favoritefood was Mexican, because my
ex-husband's favorite food wasMexican.
I mean I, and if you would haveasked me that, I would have
been like no, my favorite coloris green and Mexican, right, but

(37:19):
no, it wasn't.
And so sometimes our values areeven handed to us by people in
our life and we think we'veaccepted them, but we haven't.
We don't even, we haven'texplored them, we don't even
know if those are true for us,right?
I would say, like the value ofintegrity.
I'll just use that for, for anexample, the integrity.
Let's say everybody can agree,right, give me some confetti.

(37:41):
If integrity is a great value,right?
Like I think we could all.
Oh yeah, that's a great value.
If somebody told you you haveintegrity, you'd be like, oh
yeah, oh yeah, I'm amazing, I'mamazing, right, like you would
say that.
So let me give you thedifference between the integrity
value on the wheel of fear andon the wheel of freedom.
On the wheel of fear, integritycan look like rigidity,

(38:04):
closed-mindedness.
I said I was going to do it andgosh darn, I'm going to do it
no matter what, right?
Even though now it doesn'talign with you, right?
So when you have integrity andyou are living that integrity
through the lens of your wheelof fear, you're probably rigid
and closed-minded and liveliterally by.
I said it and therefore I'mgoing to do it, even though it's
killing you, even though itdoesn't serve you, even though

(38:27):
it's maybe hurting others.
You said you were going to doit, so darn it, you're going to,
right.
So integrity values in and ofthemselves must be filtered
through the wheel of fear, willof freedom.
So now, what about integrity onthe wheel of freedom?
Ok, let's say you're going tolike I promise I was going to do
this.
I, okay.
Let's say you're gonna like Ipromised I was gonna do this.

(38:47):
I'm gonna do this.
But let's say somebody dies.
Or let's say something happenslike you're having a health
challenge.
Or let's say that you'rerealizing that this project
isn't really what you wanna do.
You thought you did.
When you said I'm gonna do it,you really thought you're gonna
do it.
But you realize this doesn'treally serve me.
This isn't.
This doesn't really serve me.
This isn't.
This isn't what I thought itwas going to feel like or be
like.
I want to change my mind.

(39:07):
I want to renegotiate right.
So when you're on the wheel offreedom, you can renegotiate.
On the wheel of fear, withintegrity, you can't renegotiate
.
So values in and of themselvesmust be based in freedom.

Yvonne (39:20):
Wow.
So, much to think about oh mygosh.

I can't wait to get your book because I
want to dive into this and wecan't have you for long enough,
sadly.

Can you stay for four hours, maybe?
Yeah, I can stay for a hundredhours three days.
I have time for five days in arow once, so I can do it, oh my
goodness.
You'll get a headache.

before that happens, give me some water
.

Rhonda, you know a couple before that happens.

Yeah, give me some water.
Give me some water, ronda.
You know the a couple thingsyou said earlier and I'm gonna
bring up a couple people to havesome questions and thoughts.
I want to bring them up here ina second.
One of the things that youmentioned earlier which really
actually had it written down soI'm so glad that you mentioned
it, because I wrote down isperfectionism perfect and
perfectionism and peoplepleasing are those signs of fear

(40:08):
.
So why help me understand it?
Because I think that's when Istarted thinking about that.
That's probably something thatI've had.
A lot of people that will saythey're perfectionism and they
it's almost like a badge ofhonor.
Yes, it is.
I'm like, okay, that could be aproblem too, could it be a?
sign of a fear and also samething with when it comes to
people'm like okay, that couldbe a problem too.
Could it be a sign of a fear?
And also same thing with whenit comes to people pleasing,

(40:29):
like I know, mrs Could be.
We've talked about that beforethat you know it's easy to fall
Like that would be somethingthat you would fall naturally
fall into with people pleasingsometimes and we learned it was
bad for you because you weresaying yes to everything but not
saying yes to the importantthings.
So you were saying yes toeverything but not saying yes to
the important things.
So talk to us a little bitabout that and then we'll bring
up the other two people fortheir questions.

Yeah, so let's talk about perfectionism for a
minute.
Now, everybody in here, I bet,considers themselves perhaps
artistic, creative, open-minded,right?
I mean, you're in the metaverse, come on now, people, everybody
doesn't hang out here right,like you're unique.
Everybody here is creative.
You're probably visionaries.
You probably have a unique wayto live in the world.

(41:10):
I mean, you wouldn't be in themetaverse if you weren't like
that.
So you already have this uniquequality.
Well, perfectionism for uniquequalities, for visionaries, for
creatives, keep you actuallystuck, because you never ship,
you never deliver, you never putthings out Because, again, that
fear of rejection, that fear ofjudgment, that fear of what if

(41:31):
somebody doesn't like it, and oh, by the way, I've got to make
it perfect.
But really, what creativity is?
If you think of all the mastersof creativity, they put art out
and you know what?
It's not perfect.
And what do we do when we go toa museum?
We look at the art and we go oh, look at that stroke that's
different than the others.
Oh, why did he use that color?
Why did she use that color?
That's unusual, right?

(41:52):
So it's trying to express yourperfectionism needs to be
instead more.
I'm committed to myauthenticity and expressing
myself, rather than perfectionbased on some rules I have in my
head that don't apply to theway that I actually want to
express myself.
So, perfectionists I have a lotof perfectionists in my life
and perfectionists what I givethem.

(42:13):
And if you're, how many peopleare the perfectionists in the
room?
Come on, admit it.

Deeenr (42:16):
Admit it Because I'm going to give you an assignment
that's going to kill you.

I'm going to.
It's going to.
It's going to be like no,Rhonda, no, I'm not doing it.
Okay, so this is what I tellperfectionists you must get your
project to 80%.
Okay, just hold your heart fora minute, take a deep breath
before I announce the next thingDeep breath, deep breath, oh,
deep breath, deep breath.
When you get your project to80% complete, you must ship it.

(42:40):
You must turn it in, you mustlet it go it.
You must ship it.
You must turn it in, you mustlet it go.
It is ready for the world.
Trust me, your 20% not done iseverybody else's.
1%, like your 80% is literally99 for everybody else.
So the more that you putyourself out there, you're
actually going to learn a lotmore about your artistry, your

(43:01):
creativity, your visionary, theway you vision the world.
You're going to actually get alot of feedback and support and
it's going to be amazing for you.
Now, so, and again, we're afraidof judgment.
Right, so it goes back to thatjudgment.
People, pleasing what's ourcore need Belonging and
connection.
So we want people to like us.
But here's a question for you.
This is what I wrote in my bookFearless Loving Are you willing

(43:23):
to love yourself more,appreciate yourself more,
respect yourself more than beloved, adored, respected or
admired by another?
Yeah, right, right, becausewhen you're people pleasing,
you're actually saying theiropinion of you matters more than
your opinion of you, that theirapproval and their love for you

(43:43):
is more important than youhaving self-respect of you,
having your own sense of self,expressing your authenticity.
Now, does this mean when you'regoing to go to thanksgiving,
you're going to say everythingto everybody all the time?
No, you know.
No, no, you're not going to dothat either, right, you're?
You're gonna, like.
I go to my family's house and myfamily a lot of family members

(44:05):
don't think like I do.
I don't sit there and tell themeverything.
I think I don't tell themeverything I do.
I talk about things like theweather and, you know, the
Turkey, and if they ask me aboutmy projects, I share, but I
don't go there and go.
I'm going to have them see me.
No, because you know what myjob is to see myself without
anybody else having to see me.

(44:26):
See yourself rather thananybody else needing to see you.
And oh, by the way, we all needvalidation.
I mean, I need valid.
Anybody need validation.
I know I do, I need it, right,I need it.
I need validation.
But you know how I get it.
I call my best friend.
She knows I need validation.
I hey, marta, best friend,would you tell me how amazing I
am?

(44:46):
And I'm not kidding, I call herand say that to me.
I ask her to tell me, tell meI'm amazing.
Would you please remind me whyI coach?
Because today I feel like adoo-doo crap, like I don't feel
like I gave anybody good valuetoday.
Would you remind me that I'm agood coach?
And she goes Rhonda, rememberthe time, remember the time.
And I'm like oh yeah, I, I doremember the time, thanks, right
, so we have to ask for it.

(45:08):
Like, be your own, be eachother's cheerleaders.
So when Mrs Killer B is needingvalidation from somebody else,
go and ask your husband.
Honey, can you remind me thatI'm a good person?
Could you remind me that I'mkind?
Can you remind me that I am ashining light and his job is to
go?
Honey, you are shining lightand you shine so bright, man,
you're blinding me sometimes.
You're so amazing.

I'm going to steal that one that's on your
next anniversary card, baby.

Yeah.

I love it.

And, sadly, some of us feel like we don't have
anybody to ask for that.
And that's where coaches,therapists, peer groups, you
know support groups, you knowthis group right here, right, I
mean, if you need to be toldyou're amazing, come on up and
let me help you, let me tell youhow amazing?

Exactly yes.

Because this is where these things we need to
get this.
We need to know that we're notcrazy or stupid or foolish or
failures, and the only way we'regoing to tell it.
We can tell ourselves that allday long, but sometimes we need
to hear it from somebody whoknows us, or even a stranger
tell us, right, yeah becausesometimes, you know, mrs killer
b didn't really like it, though,when I sent her my invoice for

(46:11):
coaching.

You know what you know, and if I was mrs
killer b, you know what I woulddo.

I'd put a big red, heart red.
I put lipstick on red lipstickand kiss it and go paid in full
you have so many great ideas.

I'm going to put you on speed dial okay.

Let's bring up Eli.
Eli is back on the board, eli,come on up to the hexagon.
There we go.
Welcome to the Killer BeeStudios, eli.

Hi Eli.

Yeah, we hear you.

You having a good day so far?
Yeah, it's awesome to be withyou.
It's awesome to be with you.
It's awesome to be with you.
I was just wondering.
So earlier you talked about howyou had the traumatic
experience and how you gotthrough all of that.

Yvonne (46:52):
I was just wondering, like what is one thing, or like
the main thing, that kept yougoing through that trauma, or if
there is anything, yeah I'lltell you that's a great question
.

So one of the things is, you know, I tried to
kill myself three times becauseI didn't want to get through it,
right.
And that third suicide attempt,when I didn't die, I, I, I
literally said to myself theremust be a reason I'm here.
There must be a reason I'm here.
And I've had other.
I'm sure many of us have hadhorrible things happen to us as
adults, not just children, right.
And so now when I go throughsomething horrible and I feel

(47:24):
like I'm crawling through glassbecause I don't know about you,
but when I'm going through atrauma or going through a tough
time, I feel like I'm crawlingthrough glass, I feel like I'm
eating glass.
Eli, does that relate to you?
Like, you're just like eatingglass, crawling through glass,
right, yeah, and so what Iremind myself is is that this
moment in time is why I was born, for me to learn what I need to

(47:45):
learn in order to grow, how Ineed to grow, so soul can use me
, so God can use me, so spiritcan use me fully and completely.
Because if I believe in divinetiming, if I believe that I'm
here for a reason, if I believethat I was brought down to earth
for some greater mission, thenthis must be part of it too
beautiful thank you, thank youWow.

Deeenr (48:03):
Beautiful, thank you.

Thank you Great, let's bring down.

Yvonne, yvonne, come on down, come on
Yvonne.

Yvonne (48:11):
All right, ok, so, similar to Eli's question, if
you could give your younger selfadvice in one sentence, what
would it be?

There's nothing wrong with you, it's just fear.
It's not you, it's fear.
There's nothing wrong with you,it's just fear.
It's not you, it's fear.
And that is what I tell people.
If I could say you know, peopleask me all the time what's the
one message you want to give tothe world.
If you could only say one thingfor the rest of your life.
I always say there is nothingwrong with you, there is nothing
wrong with you, it is just fear.

(48:43):
And fear has interpreted theevents of your life, has
interpreted your self-talk, hasinterpreted what people have
shared with you or said to you,the experiences in your life, in
a way that depletes you,disempowers you, makes you feel
less than who you really are,and we, because of our
neurobiology, have gone tobelieve it.
But we can decide.
You know what I'm going tobelieve, Rhonda, like that's the

(49:04):
thing it's, like you guys don'thave to believe me.
Right about the will of fearand will of freedom.
But why not?
Why not?
Right like you can eithercontinue to believe like
something's wrong with you andronda doesn't know me, she's
different than me, this isn'tgoing to work for me, or what if
I'm right?
What if I'm right?
Call me crazy.

(49:25):
Right like what if I'm right?
What if?
If I'm right, call me crazyright, like what if I'm right.
What if?
If you understood your wheel offear and wheel of freedom, that
you understood yourself betterand you were able to pass
through, forgive and let go theregrets of your life and give
yourself full permission to stepinto your full power, to step
in the radiant glory of who youare.
And, as I say, our motto inFearless Living is live the life

(49:47):
your soul intended.
You're here to live the lifeyour soul intended, not your
fear intended, not yoursmallness intended, not your
suckness, not your parentsintended, not your grandparents
intended, not your boyfriend orgirlfriend or partner, intended
for your soul, for your soul'sintention.
And so everything that comesthrough us and to us is for that

(50:11):
evolution of us becoming whowe're really meant to be.
And that takes great courage,by the way, and that's why we
come together in groups, right?
Because we need each other toremind us.

That's beautiful.
That's so, so true.
I've got a couple questions Iwant to ask you, Rhonda, before
we wrap up too, and one of themis, I think, like when I was,
when I was putting togetherevent and I was like, okay, I'm
going to call this fearlessliving, I think, because we're
meeting with you, I was likethat just makes sense with what
we need to talk about.
But some might say that livingfiercely is it means living

(50:44):
recklessly.
Can you help define thedifference in that?

Yeah.
So fearless living isn't aboutjumping out of a plane and it's
not about not having fear.
Fearless living is about havingthe courage and willingness,
actually the willingness, tojump into your life fully and
completely.
So there was the Buddhists, youknow, talk about being fearless
.
But also a woman, and I'mforgetting her name right now.
She wrote, dying to be me, Ithink and she, she had cancer

(51:12):
riddled through her body.
She was completely riddled withcancer and she was in surgery.
They were trying to come openher up to see what they could
take out and if they could helpher.
And when they opened her up,they found her riddled with
cancer and they just shut her upagain because there was no way
they could get that cancer out,there was no way they could save
her.
And so during that time shedied and she came back.

(51:36):
She had a near-death experienceand I don't know if you guys
believe in those, but I got totell you sometimes those give me
great solace.
And so she woke up right and,by the way, within I want to say
a month or two, she wascompletely cured, not by the
doctor, but by what sheexperienced in the near-death
experience and what God told herin the near-death experiences

(51:58):
go and be fearless.
That's what God told her to goand be, wow, so be fearless.

That is amazing.

Right, I think that is amazing.
And so you know I know somepeople think it's fear hyphen
less like fearless, but it'slike no, you're fearless every
day that you wake up.
You're already fearless, Wakingup every morning, facing the
world, loving the world, growingthrough the world.

We're all fearless, we just don't give
ourselves credit for it.
Oh so good man, I'm so glad Idid not skip that question.
I almost skipped that questionI was like, man, I think I'm
really going to ask this.
It was so good, yeah, so glad.
One more question, but beforewe get there, can you?
I want to again thank you somuch for coming out here,
because man, man this is my God.
I said we keep this thing going,but I want to thank you for you

(52:49):
know being fearless andstepping in the metaverse and
coming to see what this is about.
I love that you did that.
Where can people find your bookand how can they best connect
with you?

I want to make sure I ask that.
OK?
Well, this is really importantbecause I want to give you all a
free class, and it's calledstretch risk or die, right?
So as we start shifting ourlives, we've got to stretch risk
or die, or it's going to feellike we're going to die.
And it actually is one of mynumber one tools my clients and
students love.
And so you're going to go tofearlesslivingorg forward slash

(53:22):
risk R-I-S-K.
Fearlesslivingorg forward.
Slash risk R-I-S-K.
Fearlesslivingorg forward.
Slash risk R-I-S-K.
You're going to put your nameand email in there and you're
going to be entered into theplatform and you're going to get
access to this class.
It's 45 minutes, gang.
45 minutes three 15 minutevideos.
And what's really cool is atthe end of the three videos the
third video I actually gothrough the wheel of fear.

(53:43):
So you're going to see me drawthe wheel of fear.
You're going to see my wheel offear in motion.
I'm going to show you how itworks.
So go in there, get the course.
And, by the way, this curesprocrastination.
So if you have a goal or aproject, a dream that you want
to fulfill, stretch risk and dieis the number one tools my
students and clients use to getthere.
So it's got templates.

(54:13):
It's got worksheets.

It's got videos, it's got everything you
need Super, super super simple,less than an hour of your time,
so go in fearlesslivingorgforward.

Deeenr (54:17):
Slash risk R-I-S-K.

Thank you so much.
That was awesome.
And you guys, I'll make sure.
If you guys don't remember that, let me know.
We'll send it to you.
You can send it, ask me, sendus a message on Instagram, ask
us in here.
We'll make sure you get it.
And anybody listening to thepodcast replay you'll be able to
get it in the show notes.
Just look in the show notes.
We'll put that link in there.
But wow, thank you so much,Rhonda.
I can't wait to go through thatand check that out.
That's, that's a huge, that's ahuge gift.

(54:38):
Thank you so much.

You're welcome, and at books and my classes and
everything else about me toomuch a lot of stuff about me is
that where we connect with youtoo, like social media.

You probably have your social media links on
social media is at rondabritain.

All social media is at ronda britain,
r-h-o-n-d-a, britain,b-r-i-t-t-e and britain, the
ronda britain hat ronda awesomeawesome, wow.

Well, thank you so much, ronda.
Mrs Killerbee, do you haveanything?
Before I ask this last question?

No, last question Okay, all right.

Last question.
All right, drum roll.
I mean.
I hope it's a really goodquestion, but now the pressure's
on, but I'm going to approachit furiously.
All right For someone anybodythat's watching or listening to
the podcast later who knowsfears like right now, like their
fears of the door.
It's holding them back andthey're acknowledging that,
they're realizing that.

(55:29):
What's one small step that youwould tell them to take to help
them start moving forwardtomorrow or today?

Well, first of all, go and get that course,
because that's going to helpthem right away.
So that's the first step.
The other thing is just to bewilling to forgive yourself.
Forgive yourself for your past,because that's usually what's
keeping the chains in place.
What's usually keeping theprison in place is our
unwillingness to forgiveourselves, like we should have

(55:58):
done it different, we shouldhave done it better.
You know, oh, my God, I can't.
You know, I should have done itdifferent, different, better,
better, et cetera.
So we keep on punishingourselves.
So, if you can do one thingtoday, just one thing today,
just look in the mirror.
If you're willing and say I'mwilling to forgive myself, I am
innocent and it's not me, it'sjust fear, it's not me, this

(56:19):
isn't my, this isn't me, this isfear, and I choose to live my
fearless life.
So I forgive myself foranything.
Up until this moment and beyond, I did nothing wrong.
It was fear.

If you enjoyed this episode don't
forget to follow this podcastand leave us a review Again.

Thank you so much, Rhonda oh my pleasure.
Join us.
This is awesome, this is fun.

This is a fearless act for me.
By the way, this is a fearlessact for me.
I was texting Brian going Idon't know what I'm doing.
I don't know what I'm doing andbefore we came here I got lost
in the metaverse.
They had to come and find me.
I was like, oh no, no, no, no,so just being here is fearless.

Yeah, I came last night.

I was at a concert last night.
I was like I'm going to.

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