We explore how grief and gratitude can coexist during the holidays, and how small, intentional choices can protect family memories without denying pain. We share three simple principles to reframe the season and practical ways to stay involved, present, and emotionally honest. Listen, share it with someone who needs a gentle nudge toward hope, and subscribe for more conversations that help you step out of your comfort zone and into your queen zone.
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Episode Transcript
The views and opinions expressed on this
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necessarily reflect the officialpolicy or position of a Queen's
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Any content provided by ourbloggers or authors are of their
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(00:26):
or anything.
SPEAKER_01 (00:33):
Welcome to a Queen's Opinion.
My name is Queen.
My boy, my opinion, and you'relistening.
(00:54):
Holiday blues.
Is there a way to shake off theholiday blues?
What do you think when someonesays Thanksgiving is coming up
soon?
Well, I asked a couple of peoplewhat comes to mind when they
think about Thanksgiving.
I received many of the sameresponses: family, eating,
(01:16):
thankfulness, and blessings.
I too think of these fourresponses when I think of
Thanksgiving.
When my children were younger,we set around planning the
holiday schedule.
Family, hanging out, talkingabout good times we had during
the holiday season.
These things bring a smile to myface and joy to my heart.
(01:39):
Every year we get to celebrateThanksgiving, creating a new
memory for the grandchildren.
So one day they will sit aroundwith their families, talking
about their good old days withGraham Graham and Paw Paw.
I can talk about Thanksgivingnowadays, but there was a time
(01:59):
in my life where celebratingThanksgiving and Christmas were
very hard on me emotionally.
The coming of the fall withThanksgiving and Christmas would
put me in a dark place just afew short years ago.
I wouldn't say that I'm out ofthe ballpark of those sad days,
(02:21):
but I will say they are lesstraumatic for me because I have
my grandchildren now.
November is a hard month for mebecause this is the month that
my mother and sister passed, andthinking about happy times is
hard for me to do.
Not just because they passedaway, but all the things
(02:43):
surrounding their departure andhow family dynamics played a
huge part in the situation ofcelebrating Thanksgiving.
During this dark time in mylife, I couldn't find anything
to be thankful for.
So I'm sure I put a damper onthe holidays for my children and
my husband.
(03:05):
They tried and they still do tryto ensure that I am not falling
back into my sadness.
Holiday depression is real formany people.
I would at this point try to saysomething that will help my
listeners deal with the feelingsand memories that put us in this
(03:26):
dark space.
But I have nothing to reallyoffer you except for saying that
you should acknowledge yourfeelings and talk about what
you're feeling with your lovedones and accept the love you are
being shown by the people inyour life.
It is not easy to talk about oldmemories that were warm and
(03:51):
fuzzy and fun because theholiday is missing the people I
love.
Yes, I do have my children,grandchildren, and my husband
here with me right now.
And I am so thankful, grateful,and blessed to have them in my
life.
But it's something about thisholiday that really puts me in
(04:14):
tears because I miss my lovedones, my mother and my sister.
People say they're here withyou.
They know you love them and missthem, but they want you to be
happy.
It is these words that I try tostay focused on during holiday
(04:36):
season.
I tell myself they miss me too,and they want me to be happy.
So I try to be happy during theholidays.
Holidays are hard, but I realizethat I can change how I display
my sadness and pain to others bysharing positive thoughts and
(04:58):
memories from the past withothers.
I realize that when I am nothappy, that I am impacting the
memories for my family andputting an imprint on their
holiday memories.
So I work through my sadness byparticipating in joyous events
with them.
(05:18):
I like to cook with my familyand my grandkids.
I like to try new recipes withmy granddaughters, play new
games and stay up late withthem.
We dance to their music and playMario Kart or whatever games my
grandsons want to play.
I keep my mind focused on theirhappiness, and that gets me
(05:42):
through the holidays.
Listeners, I wish I hadsomething witty or smart to
shake off the holiday blues, butI don't.
All I have are these words ofencouragement.
(06:02):
One, we are blessed to see theholiday season again.
There will come a time whenthere will be no more holiday
seasons, and we don't want toleave a sad memory for our loved
ones.
I tell myself that I am blessedbecause I was given one more day
(06:24):
to fix the issues in my life,one more day to acknowledge
God's beauty on this earth.
He gave me a day I will neversee again.
Two, we must remember the wordholiday meaning, which is a day
(06:44):
especially dedicated toreligious observance or
religious festivities, areligious festival or a holy
day.
A holy day.
That's what the OxfordDictionary tells us.
We should remember the purposeof the holiday and less about
material things in our lives.
(07:05):
The holiday is about getting intouch with our feelings and
reflecting on our life andrecognizing our blessings.
We should try to make theholiday as festive as we can for
everyone in our lives.
Three, we want to leave ourfamily with positive memories.
(07:30):
We only want to leave happy,warm, fun memories of sharing
the holiday together as one bighappy family.
Everything we do on this holidaycreates a memory, whether we are
prepping the food for thefamily, allowing the grandkids
to help with the dishes orcreating a game out of cooking,
(07:53):
serving the men with theirfavorite football snacks, have
the whole family play a game ofone, two, three red light so we
all can participate.
Whatever keeps the familysmiling, happy, laughing, and
feeling love from each otherwill create the best memories
(08:14):
for everyone.
We should be thankful for allthe blessings we have in our
lives.
We have our children, parents,grandchildren, our family
members, friends, church family,co-workers, neighbors, and many
others in our lives that bringus joy.
(08:35):
We should be thankful andgrateful for all the love in our
lives.
We should be thankful for thetime we had with our departed
loved ones too.
Thankful for the time we sharedwith them when they were here on
earth.
We should be thankful for theroof over our heads, the food on
(08:57):
the table, the clothes on ourbacks, the shoes on our feet,
the air we breathe, the functionof our body, and the life we
have here on earth.
Listeners, I wish I had a magicpeel for the holiday blues, so
both of us could take a peel andskip the sadness.
(09:21):
I don't.
But I made up my mind that thisholiday season I am going to
walk into the holiday with aspirit of thankfulness, a mind
filled with blessings, and aheart filled with love.
My emotions will exhibit caring,engagement, and excitement for
(09:42):
the time shared with me.
This holiday season, I am goingto be emotionally healthier.
So join me in trying to movepast the sadness and get into
the holiday spirit.
We will save the sadness for arainy day.
(10:08):
Come on, you can do it.
Join me.
Let's show some holiday spirit.
(10:33):
This podcast is supposed to liftyou up, encourage you to be the
best person you can be, toinspire you to step out of your
comfort zone and into your queenzone.
I didn't say my opinion willsolve your problems.
I am not saying that I am right.
But what I am saying is I'mgoing to give you another view
(10:57):
of the situation from adistance.
No more thinking or questioninga situation by yourself.
Ask the queen.
Go to our website,www.aceensopinion.com.
And click on get in touch toleave your feedback or leave a
(11:18):
question for the queen.
Don't forget to like us whereveryou get your podcast.
Thank you for taking time out ofyour day.
I hope you join me for my nextepisode.
Until then, goodbye.
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