June 28, 2025 • 20 mins
Ever wondered what women truly want in relationships? The answer might be simpler than you think. Drawing from conversations with women across different walks of life, this episode reveals the three foundations that support every successful romantic partnership: compatibility, communication, and life goals.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
The views and opinions expressed on this
podcast or website are those ofthe authors and do not
necessarily reflect the officialpolicy or position of A Queen's
Opinion.
Any content provided by ourbloggers or authors are of their
opinion and are not intended tomalign any religion, ethnic
group, club, organization,company, individual or anyone or
(00:26):
anything.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Welcome to a Queen's Opinion.
My name is Queen, my voice, myopinion and your listening ears.
This episode we are talkingabout relationship needs.
What does a woman want and needin a relationship?
(00:52):
In preparing for this episode,I conducted a little survey with
the women that I see and talkto on a regular basis in my
everyday life.
On a regular basis in myeveryday life, I ask them what
kind of man they are looking forin a relationship and what they
need in said relationship.
(01:13):
Now, before we break down theconclusions I gained from this
small sample size survey, weneed to understand what a
relationship basically is.
A relationship is defined as theway in which two or more
concepts, objects or people areconnected, or the state of being
(01:36):
connected Among people.
Four types of relationships areusually family relationships,
friendships relationships areusually family relationships,
friendships, acquaintances andromantic connections.
Today's topic is going to talkmore about the romantic
relationships, since this iswhat I surveyed my girlfriends
about.
In romantic relationships,there are at least three areas
(02:01):
that are critical in buildingthat romantic foundation.
These include one compatibility, both physical and emotional.
Two, communication, both verbaland non-verbal, and three life
goals faith, family and finances.
(02:21):
Does someone need to addressall three areas of a romantic
relationship to survive.
Yes, these areas are criticalto having longevity in a
relationship and removing anyissues that might jeopardize the
foundation of the relationship.
(02:41):
The loss or lack of one of therelationship, a loss or lack of
one of the previously mentionedareas creates a shaky foundation
and a rough relationship at alllevels.
Sure, we can put a band-aid onthe relationship for a few days,
weeks and even years, but ifissues in any area are not
(03:02):
sorted out and dealt with assoon as possible, then someone
in the relationship is not being100% true and it cannot be
truly successful.
Now, in any relationship therewill be highs and lows across
time, but my argument here isfocusing specifically on
(03:23):
building the romanticrelationship.
In the beginning of a long-termrelationship, building the
foundation of long-lastingromance is critical.
So let's break down these threeareas of interest so that we
can have a strongerunderstanding of why they are so
(03:45):
necessary to address and bealigned in.
Number one compatibility, bothphysically and emotionally.
I believe within 10 to 15minutes of meeting a potential
partner, you know a couple ofthings up front, without many
words being spoken.
As a woman, you know if youwant to share a bed with this
(04:07):
man or not.
Sometimes this could lead to aone-night stand or not.
For men, they might see everywoman as a one-night stand,
regardless of looks.
Or maybe they are pickier andhave a specific goal in mind for
a woman.
Nonetheless, both men and womenimmediately notice and
(04:31):
understand their initialattractions to someone else.
If you are lucky, you havegotten past this initial state
and through the conversation yourealize that, hey, this might
be a good guy or girl.
They have passed thecompatibility for physical
desires or needs and as theconversation continues, then you
(04:54):
begin to hone in on the wordsthey are saying and how it
aligns with how you feelemotionally about that topic of
discussion.
You begin to say to yourselfwow, we have so many things in
common If all goes well.
During this conversation, oneof you are going to ask would
(05:18):
you like to hang out againsometimes and you will set up
another date.
Number two communication, bothverbal and non-verbal.
You have been seeing thisperson now for several weeks and
things are going great.
You have built a strongercompatibility foundation.
(05:41):
You have grown stronger as acouple in your physical and
emotional connections.
At this stage now you arefocusing more on the verbal and
nonverbal communication skills,both of you begin to listen more
to each other.
Many times people say I hearyou, and this is true.
(06:04):
They do hear our tone, whichexpresses a feeling.
However, we may lack listeningto the words coming out the
other person's mouth.
Listening to the words comingout the other person's mouth.
Listening is key because if youare listening to the words that
person has chosen, it givesinsight into their personality
(06:26):
and sets up an expectation ofwhat type of healthy
relationship you may have movingforward.
You may have moving forward.
Sometimes you may havedisagreements about everyday
life issues.
For example, he comes overafter work with the expectation
you will have dinner waiting forhim.
(06:47):
How he wants you to change yourdress attire.
How he doesn't like you talkingto other men outside his
presence.
How controlling he is about whoand what you discuss with your
family or friends.
(07:08):
The look he gives you when heis displeased with something you
said or did can all bedisagreements.
Disagreements are going tohappen, but it is how you handle
the disagreement that matters.
(07:28):
You see, communication is keyto any type of relationship.
I believe that, as a woman, Ishould be able to communicate my
wants and needs to anybody inmy life, Whenever I feel like a
man is trying to tell me what Ican say or do, then he is not
(07:50):
the man for me.
Fellas, the same goes for you.
Don't let a woman dictateaspects of your life.
Speak your needs to her and seeif she can meet them or not.
If I communicate something to aman and he is displeased, then
(08:11):
he should be able to communicateto me what I am doing or saying
that is upsetting to him.
We both need to be able to feelhow we feel and communicate our
dislikes appropriately andrespectfully.
I am not saying a woman issupposed to accept and do what a
(08:35):
man wants them to do, nor thata man should just do the same
for a woman.
I am saying that an adultshould respect the other
person's opinion and feelings onwhatever the topic is.
It is not about who is right inthis situation, but rather
(08:56):
about what is the best solutionto the problem at hand.
You see, when you allow a womanto be just that a woman and
respect her in all ways, thenyou men will end up with a
strong woman by your side.
You men will end up with astrong woman by your side.
(09:21):
You should never try to dimyour light as a woman to make a
man feel happy.
Men, you should not want awoman who is not confident in
herself.
We were made to lift each otherup and support each other,
which means we don't think alikeon everything.
If we both communicate how wefeel or see a situation, then
(09:44):
the next step is to accept thecorrect solution to the conflict
.
If you are unable to communicateyour feelings or opinions, then
this is not the rightrelationship for you.
There's an old saying, or Ishould say there's an old
Christian hymn that says thislittle light of mine, I'm going
(10:08):
to let it shine.
You should never change theperson you are to please someone
else.
Let your light shine.
You are given a light thatreflects your personality, your
spirit and your heart of love.
So shine, baby shine.
(10:31):
Number three life goals faith,family and finances.
If you can't get the first twoareas of your relationship
correct, then you have anextremely small chance of a
long-term relationship.
As it relates to area numberthree life goals regarding faith
(10:54):
, family and finances, mostmarriages or relationships break
up because one of these threeissues start out as a minor
issue and continues to grow.
Sometimes, faith, family andfinances are the cornerstones of
a romantic relationship.
If you are not compatiblewithin these three subcategories
(11:19):
of life goals, then you areasking for issues long-term in
your relationship.
If you are unable tocommunicate your expectations
regarding these three categories, your relationship will,
unsurprisingly, be short-term orlong-term, with a bunch of
(11:40):
headaches throughout the years.
People wonder how you can staymarried to someone for 30, 40,
50, 60 plus years.
It's because they got theformula right.
They got their compatibilityright, they were able to
communicate with each otherproperly and, finally, they had
(12:02):
the same life goals andexpectations.
As it relates to these lifegoals faith, family and finances
I told my children if your lifegoals with your partner are not
right up front, don't wasteyour time on moving forward.
Find the right man or woman foryourself.
(12:24):
No one can tell you what'sright for you in your
relationship Not your mother,not your father, your siblings
or anybody else.
Only you know what isacceptable to you.
Only you know what isacceptable to you and what you
(12:46):
will allow the other person todo or say to you in your
relationship.
You and your partner don't havecompatibility or unable to
communicate regarding your faithbefore children are brought
into your lives, then you justcreated a problem in the
relationship.
It's okay to have differentreligious backgrounds, but let's
(13:09):
be clear you must decide howyou are going to guide your
children in finding their pathto the Most High King.
If one is Jewish in therelationship and the other
Muslim, then how would thechildren be raised?
If one in the relationship isan atheist and the other a
(13:30):
Christian, how will the childrenbe raised?
I've heard people say we're notgoing to teach our children
about any religion.
We're going to allow them tomake their own decisions.
I'm not sure if I agree withthat or not.
If we don't introduce thechildren to whatever religion we
(13:51):
are practicing, then you areleaving it up to the world to
teach them something that may beincorrect.
What am I trying to say here isto make sure you have worked
these things out before youbring children into the world.
You are blessed as a woman anda man to be able to guide and
(14:14):
parent a human.
Next, once you have created thisfamily, nothing should come
between the family.
We should teach our childrenthat family mothers, fathers,
siblings that's the core family,that's the foundation family
(14:36):
All we have is each other.
We need to work together toguide each other and never let
each other fall.
We need to be an example toeach other woman to woman, man
to man, parents to children,women to men, men to women to
(15:02):
children, women to men, men towomen.
We need to work together.
As I've said many times inother episodes, a child only
knows what we introduce them to,so it is important that you and
your partner are on one accordand compatible with our partner
as it relates to rearing family.
Do we agree on the fact that,as a parent, it is our
(15:24):
responsibility to provide thechild with housing and clothing
and food, etc.
There are so many things thatwe should be doing as parents,
and so picking your partner iskey to having a strong family.
Finally, finances this area hasbroken up so many couples,
(15:47):
marriages and romanticrelationships.
Over the years, I've met menwho felt like the man is the
head of the house because theymake the most money.
Wow, this is crazy to me.
This is crazy to me becausefinances belong to the family.
Especially if you're married,it's no longer her money or his
(16:12):
money.
It's the family money.
We use the family finances tosupport the family as it relates
to providing housing, food,clothing and other family needs.
I know both married andlong-term couples who keep their
money separately.
(16:33):
She has a checking account, hehas a checking account and the
family has a shared checkingaccount.
This is crazy to me.
We choose each other to becomea family.
You're either in a marriage orlong-term relationship as a
family or not.
When it comes to finances,sometimes people want to live
(16:58):
the single life with the mindsetof I can do what I want to with
my money that I earned.
Then you have some women thatsay, oh no, my last relationship
.
He took everything from me andI am not going to put myself in
(17:18):
that situation again.
You have men who say she robbedme blind and I am not doing
that again.
I get it, I understand and I amsure, if I were to ask you a
couple of questions about thatrelationship, it is going to
fall into one of the threecategories Poor compatibility,
(17:42):
poor communication, poor lifegoals.
You really didn't understandthe assignment.
Life goals are so vital.
Yes, a long-term relationshipor marriage cannot survive
without compatibility,communication and those three
(18:03):
life goals of faith, family andfinance keep you from meeting
the love of your life.
Don't allow that person whohurt you to control your future
relationships.
Trust we haven't even touchedthat one yet, but I would say it
(18:24):
is wrapped up in all threecategories we've discussed today
.
By the time you get to thethird category of life goals,
you should have already builtdeep trust with someone.
At the beginning of the episode,I asked the question what does
a woman want and need in arelationship?
(18:45):
Let me sum it up for you thebest I can.
We want someone that isrespectful of people, especially
women, as your partner,financially responsible, with
money, understanding in,listening and communicating.
Ambition, driven to be the bestperson and partner, loyal to
(19:10):
their partner and therelationship.
Family oriented, in the sensethat nothing or no one will come
between them.
And the relationship Familyoriented, in the sense that
nothing or no one will comebetween them and the family.
What does a woman want and needin a relationship?
It's so simple and easy Endless, unconditional love.
(19:33):
A Queen's Opinion is a podcastthat allows people, especially
women, to think out loud aboutlife situations and seek an
opinion without being judged.
This podcast is supposed tolift you up, encourage you to be
the best person you can be, toinspire you to step out of your
(19:55):
comfort zone and into your queenzone.
I didn't say my opinion willsolve your problems.
I am not saying that I am right, but what I am saying is I'm
going to give you another viewof the situation from a distance
.
No more thinking or questioninga situation by yourself.
(20:17):
Ask the queen.
Go to our website,wwwaquingsopinioncom and click
on.
Get in touch to leave yourfeedback or leave a question for
the queen.
Don't forget to like uswherever you get your podcasts.
Thank you for taking time outof your day.
(20:39):
I hope you join me for our nextepisode.
Until then, goodbye.
The views and opinions expressed on this
podcast or website are those ofthe authors and do not
necessarily reflect the officialpolicy or position of A Queen's
Opinion.
Any content provided by ourbloggers or authors are of their
opinion and are not intended tomalign any religion, ethnic
group, club, organization,company, individual or anyone or
(00:26):
anything.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Welcome to a Queen's Opinion.
My name is Queen, my voice, myopinion and your listening ears.
This episode we are talkingabout relationship needs.
What does a woman want and needin a relationship?
(00:52):
In preparing for this episode,I conducted a little survey with
the women that I see and talkto on a regular basis in my
everyday life.
On a regular basis in myeveryday life, I ask them what
kind of man they are looking forin a relationship and what they
need in said relationship.
(01:13):
Now, before we break down theconclusions I gained from this
small sample size survey, weneed to understand what a
relationship basically is.
A relationship is defined as theway in which two or more
concepts, objects or people areconnected, or the state of being
(01:36):
connected Among people.
Four types of relationships areusually family relationships,
friendships relationships areusually family relationships,
friendships, acquaintances andromantic connections.
Today's topic is going to talkmore about the romantic
relationships, since this iswhat I surveyed my girlfriends
about.
In romantic relationships,there are at least three areas
(02:01):
that are critical in buildingthat romantic foundation.
These include one compatibility, both physical and emotional.
Two, communication, both verbaland non-verbal, and three life
goals faith, family and finances.
(02:21):
Does someone need to addressall three areas of a romantic
relationship to survive.
Yes, these areas are criticalto having longevity in a
relationship and removing anyissues that might jeopardize the
foundation of the relationship.
(02:41):
The loss or lack of one of therelationship, a loss or lack of
one of the previously mentionedareas creates a shaky foundation
and a rough relationship at alllevels.
Sure, we can put a band-aid onthe relationship for a few days,
weeks and even years, but ifissues in any area are not
(03:02):
sorted out and dealt with assoon as possible, then someone
in the relationship is not being100% true and it cannot be
truly successful.
Now, in any relationship therewill be highs and lows across
time, but my argument here isfocusing specifically on
(03:23):
building the romanticrelationship.
In the beginning of a long-termrelationship, building the
foundation of long-lastingromance is critical.
So let's break down these threeareas of interest so that we
can have a strongerunderstanding of why they are so
(03:45):
necessary to address and bealigned in.
Number one compatibility, bothphysically and emotionally.
I believe within 10 to 15minutes of meeting a potential
partner, you know a couple ofthings up front, without many
words being spoken.
As a woman, you know if youwant to share a bed with this
(04:07):
man or not.
Sometimes this could lead to aone-night stand or not.
For men, they might see everywoman as a one-night stand,
regardless of looks.
Or maybe they are pickier andhave a specific goal in mind for
a woman.
Nonetheless, both men and womenimmediately notice and
(04:31):
understand their initialattractions to someone else.
If you are lucky, you havegotten past this initial state
and through the conversation yourealize that, hey, this might
be a good guy or girl.
They have passed thecompatibility for physical
desires or needs and as theconversation continues, then you
(04:54):
begin to hone in on the wordsthey are saying and how it
aligns with how you feelemotionally about that topic of
discussion.
You begin to say to yourselfwow, we have so many things in
common If all goes well.
During this conversation, oneof you are going to ask would
(05:18):
you like to hang out againsometimes and you will set up
another date.
Number two communication, bothverbal and non-verbal.
You have been seeing thisperson now for several weeks and
things are going great.
You have built a strongercompatibility foundation.
(05:41):
You have grown stronger as acouple in your physical and
emotional connections.
At this stage now you arefocusing more on the verbal and
nonverbal communication skills,both of you begin to listen more
to each other.
Many times people say I hearyou, and this is true.
(06:04):
They do hear our tone, whichexpresses a feeling.
However, we may lack listeningto the words coming out the
other person's mouth.
Listening to the words comingout the other person's mouth.
Listening is key because if youare listening to the words that
person has chosen, it givesinsight into their personality
(06:26):
and sets up an expectation ofwhat type of healthy
relationship you may have movingforward.
You may have moving forward.
Sometimes you may havedisagreements about everyday
life issues.
For example, he comes overafter work with the expectation
you will have dinner waiting forhim.
(06:47):
How he wants you to change yourdress attire.
How he doesn't like you talkingto other men outside his
presence.
How controlling he is about whoand what you discuss with your
family or friends.
(07:08):
The look he gives you when heis displeased with something you
said or did can all bedisagreements.
Disagreements are going tohappen, but it is how you handle
the disagreement that matters.
(07:28):
You see, communication is keyto any type of relationship.
I believe that, as a woman, Ishould be able to communicate my
wants and needs to anybody inmy life, Whenever I feel like a
man is trying to tell me what Ican say or do, then he is not
(07:50):
the man for me.
Fellas, the same goes for you.
Don't let a woman dictateaspects of your life.
Speak your needs to her and seeif she can meet them or not.
If I communicate something to aman and he is displeased, then
(08:11):
he should be able to communicateto me what I am doing or saying
that is upsetting to him.
We both need to be able to feelhow we feel and communicate our
dislikes appropriately andrespectfully.
I am not saying a woman issupposed to accept and do what a
(08:35):
man wants them to do, nor thata man should just do the same
for a woman.
I am saying that an adultshould respect the other
person's opinion and feelings onwhatever the topic is.
It is not about who is right inthis situation, but rather
(08:56):
about what is the best solutionto the problem at hand.
You see, when you allow a womanto be just that a woman and
respect her in all ways, thenyou men will end up with a
strong woman by your side.
You men will end up with astrong woman by your side.
(09:21):
You should never try to dimyour light as a woman to make a
man feel happy.
Men, you should not want awoman who is not confident in
herself.
We were made to lift each otherup and support each other,
which means we don't think alikeon everything.
If we both communicate how wefeel or see a situation, then
(09:44):
the next step is to accept thecorrect solution to the conflict
.
If you are unable to communicateyour feelings or opinions, then
this is not the rightrelationship for you.
There's an old saying, or Ishould say there's an old
Christian hymn that says thislittle light of mine, I'm going
(10:08):
to let it shine.
You should never change theperson you are to please someone
else.
Let your light shine.
You are given a light thatreflects your personality, your
spirit and your heart of love.
So shine, baby shine.
(10:31):
Number three life goals faith,family and finances.
If you can't get the first twoareas of your relationship
correct, then you have anextremely small chance of a
long-term relationship.
As it relates to area numberthree life goals regarding faith
(10:54):
, family and finances, mostmarriages or relationships break
up because one of these threeissues start out as a minor
issue and continues to grow.
Sometimes, faith, family andfinances are the cornerstones of
a romantic relationship.
If you are not compatiblewithin these three subcategories
(11:19):
of life goals, then you areasking for issues long-term in
your relationship.
If you are unable tocommunicate your expectations
regarding these three categories, your relationship will,
unsurprisingly, be short-term orlong-term, with a bunch of
(11:40):
headaches throughout the years.
People wonder how you can staymarried to someone for 30, 40,
50, 60 plus years.
It's because they got theformula right.
They got their compatibilityright, they were able to
communicate with each otherproperly and, finally, they had
(12:02):
the same life goals andexpectations.
As it relates to these lifegoals faith, family and finances
I told my children if your lifegoals with your partner are not
right up front, don't wasteyour time on moving forward.
Find the right man or woman foryourself.
(12:24):
No one can tell you what'sright for you in your
relationship Not your mother,not your father, your siblings
or anybody else.
Only you know what isacceptable to you.
Only you know what isacceptable to you and what you
(12:46):
will allow the other person todo or say to you in your
relationship.
You and your partner don't havecompatibility or unable to
communicate regarding your faithbefore children are brought
into your lives, then you justcreated a problem in the
relationship.
It's okay to have differentreligious backgrounds, but let's
(13:09):
be clear you must decide howyou are going to guide your
children in finding their pathto the Most High King.
If one is Jewish in therelationship and the other
Muslim, then how would thechildren be raised?
If one in the relationship isan atheist and the other a
(13:30):
Christian, how will the childrenbe raised?
I've heard people say we're notgoing to teach our children
about any religion.
We're going to allow them tomake their own decisions.
I'm not sure if I agree withthat or not.
If we don't introduce thechildren to whatever religion we
(13:51):
are practicing, then you areleaving it up to the world to
teach them something that may beincorrect.
What am I trying to say here isto make sure you have worked
these things out before youbring children into the world.
You are blessed as a woman anda man to be able to guide and
(14:14):
parent a human.
Next, once you have created thisfamily, nothing should come
between the family.
We should teach our childrenthat family mothers, fathers,
siblings that's the core family,that's the foundation family
(14:36):
All we have is each other.
We need to work together toguide each other and never let
each other fall.
We need to be an example toeach other woman to woman, man
to man, parents to children,women to men, men to women to
(15:02):
children, women to men, men towomen.
We need to work together.
As I've said many times inother episodes, a child only
knows what we introduce them to,so it is important that you and
your partner are on one accordand compatible with our partner
as it relates to rearing family.
Do we agree on the fact that,as a parent, it is our
(15:24):
responsibility to provide thechild with housing and clothing
and food, etc.
There are so many things thatwe should be doing as parents,
and so picking your partner iskey to having a strong family.
Finally, finances this area hasbroken up so many couples,
(15:47):
marriages and romanticrelationships.
Over the years, I've met menwho felt like the man is the
head of the house because theymake the most money.
Wow, this is crazy to me.
This is crazy to me becausefinances belong to the family.
Especially if you're married,it's no longer her money or his
(16:12):
money.
It's the family money.
We use the family finances tosupport the family as it relates
to providing housing, food,clothing and other family needs.
I know both married andlong-term couples who keep their
money separately.
(16:33):
She has a checking account, hehas a checking account and the
family has a shared checkingaccount.
This is crazy to me.
We choose each other to becomea family.
You're either in a marriage orlong-term relationship as a
family or not.
When it comes to finances,sometimes people want to live
(16:58):
the single life with the mindsetof I can do what I want to with
my money that I earned.
Then you have some women thatsay, oh no, my last relationship
.
He took everything from me andI am not going to put myself in
(17:18):
that situation again.
You have men who say she robbedme blind and I am not doing
that again.
I get it, I understand and I amsure, if I were to ask you a
couple of questions about thatrelationship, it is going to
fall into one of the threecategories Poor compatibility,
(17:42):
poor communication, poor lifegoals.
You really didn't understandthe assignment.
Life goals are so vital.
Yes, a long-term relationshipor marriage cannot survive
without compatibility,communication and those three
(18:03):
life goals of faith, family andfinance keep you from meeting
the love of your life.
Don't allow that person whohurt you to control your future
relationships.
Trust we haven't even touchedthat one yet, but I would say it
(18:24):
is wrapped up in all threecategories we've discussed today
.
By the time you get to thethird category of life goals,
you should have already builtdeep trust with someone.
At the beginning of the episode,I asked the question what does
a woman want and need in arelationship?
(18:45):
Let me sum it up for you thebest I can.
We want someone that isrespectful of people, especially
women, as your partner,financially responsible, with
money, understanding in,listening and communicating.
Ambition, driven to be the bestperson and partner, loyal to
(19:10):
their partner and therelationship.
Family oriented, in the sensethat nothing or no one will come
between them.
And the relationship Familyoriented, in the sense that
nothing or no one will comebetween them and the family.
What does a woman want and needin a relationship?
It's so simple and easy Endless, unconditional love.
(19:33):
A Queen's Opinion is a podcastthat allows people, especially
women, to think out loud aboutlife situations and seek an
opinion without being judged.
This podcast is supposed tolift you up, encourage you to be
the best person you can be, toinspire you to step out of your
(19:55):
comfort zone and into your queenzone.
I didn't say my opinion willsolve your problems.
I am not saying that I am right, but what I am saying is I'm
going to give you another viewof the situation from a distance
.
No more thinking or questioninga situation by yourself.
(20:17):
Ask the queen.
Go to our website,wwwaquingsopinioncom and click
on.
Get in touch to leave yourfeedback or leave a question for
the queen.
Don't forget to like uswherever you get your podcasts.
Thank you for taking time outof your day.
(20:39):
I hope you join me for our nextepisode.
Until then, goodbye.
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