A small change in behavior can rewrite a life. When Pat began noticing Don’s unusual decisions, lost words, and shifting patterns, the search for answers led to a Frontotemporal Dementia diagnosis—and a decade-long lesson in love, agency, and faith. We unpack the realities of FTD’s behavioral variant, why it’s often misread in midlife, and how a caregiver’s voice can and should shape care. Pat explains how she learned to opt out of stressful, unhelpful appointments, advocate through atypical medication reactions, and build routines that gave Don dignity. Sometimes the right choice is the one that brings peace, even if it looks different from the standard path.
We also go straight at the grief most caregivers carry but rarely name. Loss begins long before the goodbye. Pat shares how stacked losses overwhelmed her plans and how therapy—and for a season, an antidepressant—helped her function, feel, and keep going. Faith remained a steady thread, from a midnight caregiver post that prepared her for Don’s sudden seizures to the quiet conviction that help would meet her at the moment of need. Along the way, we talk about practical strategies: protecting the caregiver’s health, choosing physicians who see the whole family, and honoring routines that soothe, like Don’s daily mowing that brought calm even on hospice.
The heart of this conversation is freedom from guilt. You can’t alter the disease’s destination, but you can shape the journey. Pat closes with hard-won wisdom on accepting help, inviting community into the home, and measuring success by presence and kindness rather than outcomes. And she offers a hopeful coda: life continues, love expands, and gratitude can return. Listen for validation, guidance, and a gentle nudge toward living without regrets.
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