Breaking Free from Guilt: Exploring Solutions for Healing and Growth

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Have you ever wrestled with the emotional whirlwind that is guilt? That's so human of you! What if we told you that this complex emotion, often making you squirm uncomfortably, could be turned into the most potent tool for personal growth and self-improvement? From learning to recognize when you've caused harm or breached your values to healthily navigating those feelings, join us as we dismantle 'unhealthy guilt' and its impacts on our lives.

We promise to take you on an enlightening journey, offering a fresh perspective on guilt. We explore its sources through intense discussions, such as societal expectations, cultural norms, and internal beliefs. We tackle how it can manifest physically and emotionally, leading to chronic conditions like stress, anxiety, and depression. But it's not all gloom and doom. We delve into the distinction between healthy and unhealthy guilt, demonstrating how guilt can drive self-improvement and identify our underlying values and principles.

Finally, we share some practical tools to harness guilt for personal growth. Reflecting on past mistakes and mindful decision-making, combined with the power of human connection, can help navigate guilt or shame. You'll learn to let go when responsibility becomes a burden and embrace it as an ally on your path to becoming the best version of yourself. This conversation is more than just an exploration of guilt; it's a transformative journey of self-discovery and an invitation to make better decisions for your future. So, please tune in, and let's start transforming together.

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(00:29):
health and wellness.
Joining me on this podcast, inevery podcast, is my co-host,
zalmol.
Hey Luke, hello everyone.
Good to see you, luke.
How's it going?
As you guys know, at this pointhe's a Tidavata Buddhist
meditation and life coach,bringing profound insights from
the world of spirituality andmindfulness.
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(00:51):
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(01:11):
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(01:57):
and let's dive in and discoverthe boundless possibilities that
await us.
On a therapist Buddhist and you,let's jump in Zal, shall we?
Sounds good, let's do it.
Let's jump in and talk aboutguilt.
Guilt, that's a complex emotion, isn't it?
It is, yeah.
So I guess why are we talkingabout guilt?
You know, when it comes toguilt part of I don't know right

(02:22):
now what we're going to callthis episode you guys listening
already know, but there's alevel of healthy guilt and
unhealthy guilt, so I want tokind of do a deep dive on that.
When is guilt beneficial in ahealthy way, because it
certainly has a negativeconnotation.
When we think of the word guilt, what comes to your mind, as I

(02:45):
often throw some things on you.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah, good topic that we're exploring and I am here
to learn and also share.
The thing that comes to mind isabout I'll save some of the
thoughts for later because Iwant to hear what you have to
say too.
But basically, you know somekind of a moral compass.
Having a good moral compassprovide a healthy guilt that,

(03:11):
well, I've done something wrongand I shouldn't do it again, you
know.
But if unhealthy guilt gets tothe level of shame that I did
something bad, as opposed tosaying that I did something bad,
I'm a bad person, then it couldbecome that wiring of unhealthy
guilt where self-esteem andeverything just drops as a

(03:33):
result.
It destroys us.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
It's one of the things that often people can
relate to as that unhealthypiece.
It increases stress, like yousaid, anxiety.
It can lead to depression.
This chronic guilt can manifestphysically.
It can affect our digestivesystem and gut distress.
It can compromise our immunesystem.
It can really have a terribleeffect if it's chronic, when we

(03:58):
stay in that guilt.
Let's define guilt as a complexemotion arising from the belief
that we have violated our ownmoral and or ethical standards,
meaning we've done somethingthat we're not proud of at a
deep level.
Like you said, it can serve asa moral compass signaling when

(04:19):
our actions may have caused harmor breached our personal values
.
And it's certainly it's anemotion.
Guilt is an emotion.
If we have this level ofconsciousness that we lowered
our own moral standards or wedid something that we didn't
want to, the emotion of guiltcan play with us physically and

(04:41):
emotionally.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
You mentioned it is physical as well.
It really affects how I I guessinability to see the world or
inability to look at the worldeye to eye level.
It's also what unhealthy guiltcan do to you.
And yeah, I mean, I haveexperienced that in my life,
especially struggling withaddiction, so guilt is a very

(05:05):
familiar territory for me.
But yeah, so I guess it'sdestructive.
I was thinking, yeah, whatwould be a good way to dig
deeper into this?
One of the approaches that I'mthinking of?
is from, you know, because wewere talking about morality and
moral compass too, or some kindof a values and the standards

(05:26):
that we set, which sometimes canbe a little too high, and we
gain these standards withoutmuch of an examining them.
Then, by setting that too high,we're going so low, you know,
in regards to that, and thenthere's an aspect of self
deception as well for people whostruggle with addiction.
So yeah, whichever way we wantto dive into it, I'm open.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
Well, we can really hammer it home and look how it
can be destructive, or we canidentify the sources of it.
Which way do you want to gofirst?

Speaker 2 (06:03):
I like looking at the sources.
How do you feel Causes?

Speaker 1 (06:05):
How do you feel so?
Guilt has various sourcessocietal expectations, cultural
norms and these internal beliefs.
One thing we do in therapy islook at underlining causes and
conditions.
What are the root causes ofguilt, whether it's a legitimate
guilt or, I'll say, justifiableguilt?
I often relate when people aredepressed or have depression.

(06:28):
People are like we often have asociety of I should not feel
depressed, I should not feel sad.
We are not robots.
There may be a justifiablereason why someone is feeling
stress, anxiety, depression,guilt.
These are a full range ofemotions that we have as humans

(06:52):
and they're uncomfortableemotions.
But these can be healthy, whichwe'll talk about.
But let's look at some of theroot causes.
Internalized beliefs andconditioning, our past
experiences can condition andinfluence how we perceive guilt.
You want to mean by that?

Speaker 2 (07:09):
Yeah, I do, and I'm reflecting on my own experience
in my life too, that even if ithas happened or if I have an
expectation of if I admit thatI've done something wrong and if
it is perceived with punishmentor some kind of embarrassment,
chances are that I won't admitit I've, and then either do it
over and over again or try toimprove it on my own.

(07:30):
That adds into that unhealthyguilt which also comes from the
environment where, if it's inthat loving environment, if
you've done something wrong,you're like oh, I did it and
then I can improve next time.
But if it's an environment ofwhere you can get shamed or
you'll be embarrassed and thenchances are that you won't share

(07:52):
that you've done somethingwrong.

Speaker 1 (07:54):
I'll relate the guilt with.
You brought it up more thanonce, to the shame.
I remember in middle schoolelementary school too, I believe
like speech class and justhaving this horrible feeling of
not feeling ready and not havingthe ability to be up in front
of a classroom of my classmates.

(08:17):
And I remember I think we hadto do a little five-minute
presentation on Greek mythologyand I had like one of those Toga
robes on because I forgot whatGreek God that I was supposed to
share on and the wholepresentation I just talked like
this and shook and I remember myparents helped me add a little

(08:43):
joke in there just to help meand lighten the mood.
And of course I'm reading thisthree by five postcard or
whatever it was, and then I saythe joke and all I did was hear
the teacher laugh but I didn'trealize I was reading the joke,
so it shocked me that shestarted laughing.

(09:04):
So then I felt like this feelingof, yes, shame, but this
emotion of my parents tried tohelp me and I should have done
better than this, and thatrolling distortion of just
feeling guilty which went intomy middle school career and
college career and I'll never beable to speak, and now I do

(09:25):
speaking engagements.
So it's funny how that'schanged.
But this overall sense of fromthis past experience that I
conditioned myself that, no, Ishouldn't even try to do that,
that how dare I think aboutgetting on stage again?
Now this is elementary schooland middle school, so that
internal belief system was nope,I'll never be good, and that's

(09:49):
the shame.
And it can kind of connect withguilt too.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yeah, and from the Buddhist point of view too, I
think that the source of guiltalso comes from my unaccepting
of the humanness.
As a human being, I'm fallible,like I can make mistakes, and I
didn't know this was going tobe an emotional topic, but I got
a little emotional about, like,how high of a standard we can

(10:14):
set for ourselves.
So like I'm reflecting on myown experience of all I when I
was learning how to speakEnglish, I was very embarrassed
about that because, but at thesame time, looking back, like
how would I know to speakEnglish?
I wasn't born in a native, youknow, english speaking country.
But then I have these likereally high standards for myself
, like why can I not say thisgrammatically right?

(10:35):
Or why can I not pronounce thisthe right way?
You know all these things whichare not fair, you know.
So I mean same.
This is I'm not sure if it's agood example, like when, you
know, when my daughter was born,I don't expect her to start
walking right away.
You know, it is like yeah.

(10:55):
So, yeah, it just makes me thinkof that, the fact that we are
human being and we got to startfrom somewhere, which is not
going to be perfect, but that'sokay.
We keep you know makingprogress.
So in a way, it can be aninviting thing to have healthy
guilt.

Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah, the high, unattainable standard of run
before you can walk, before youcan crawl.
We don't have that for yourexample, you don't have that for
your children.
Why do we put these sometimesunachievable expectations which
can only feel negative sense ofself and fuel this negative self

(11:36):
talk?
I often tell people thateverybody has that internal
critic.
I don't care if you feel likeyou've had the healthiest
childhood growing up or yourself esteem is through the roof.
We're human and everybody hasthat negative internal critic.
It's like that little thing onyour shoulder and we're not
always positive, we're notalways have the best self esteem

(11:59):
and sometimes that littleinternal critic that's negative
can get really loud really loud,sometimes appropriately.
So if I've done something wrong,I'll give another elementary
school example that might fitguilt even more so than my
previous one, and I don't knowif my parents are listening

(12:19):
because I've never told themthis story.
But we were this was middleschool and we took a trip to DC.
We live in Annapolis and oftenkids around here take a trip to
one of the 100 museums in DC,and I was often a quiet kid.
You have to wonder about thequiet kids.

(12:40):
And it was just one of thosedumb things, that that there
used to be t-shirt shops alongthe streets and I said you won't
steal one.
So guess what I did?
The addict in me stole four,and that people were shocked.

(13:01):
So I got one for me and one forsomeone else and I had the
others in my bag and I rememberthat started to get around
driving home and one of thechaperones sat next to me and
just started talking to me and Iwas really quiet.
And then it was a Friday, but Ifelt so guilty.

(13:24):
I remember the bus ride homethat Friday from school.
I felt sick to my stomach thatwhole weekend.
I always say no jail cell canpunish us more than we punish
ourselves with guilt and shame.
And I punished myself.
I felt sick to my stomach, Iwas scared to death that I was

(13:47):
going to get suspended fromschool and of course one of the
other kids that had a conscioustold one of the teachers, but
the teacher couldn't fathom thatI would do that, so it didn't
go anywhere.
But my God, I sat with thatguilt appropriately so that my
moral standard, my value, wasnot to steal.

(14:09):
But I did to look.
Oh, you think I can't do this.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
Let me show you.

Speaker 1 (14:15):
I was sick to my stomach all weekend and then I
was worried for the next week ifI was going to get suspended.
I don't know what I did.
I blocked it out of my memory.
I have no idea what I did withthose DC shirts Wow.

Speaker 2 (14:28):
Yeah, that's a cool story.
Foul for story, I relate tothat.
Appropriate guilt, appropriateguilt, yeah, and I'm also
thinking about like, from thepoint of view of Buddhism too.
It has a lot to do withattachment being attached to
something that has alreadyhappened, that will never change
, which is true, that action isalready done, but as a person,

(14:50):
as an individual, I'm evolving.
So, like I mean some actions or, yeah, actions are not
irreversible but at the sametime, I can do better, as a
character development.
In a way, you know so.
But, like, my inability toadmit comes from the fact that,
oh, that was the worst thingsthat I've ever done and it is in

(15:10):
the record and it will neverchange and I'm the worst person
ever.
But if it's at a healthy level,it can be a good gaging point.
You know, sometimes theboundaries are there for us to
realize after we've crossed itNot that we will never cross it,
it's good not to cross it atall but sometimes the boundaries
are there to tell us, oh, I'vecrossed the line, so let me go

(15:31):
back in and not cross again.
So I think I don't know ifwe're ready to jump into the
healthy guilt.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
Yeah, guilt can be adaptable.
I guess I want to touch uponwhat is the difference between
guilt and shame.
One way I try to explain it topeople is guilt I did something
stupid, I stole on a field trip.
I felt guilt and my consciousknew that was wrong and I had an

(16:00):
emotion that I start to feelbad about appropriately.
So shame if guilt is I didsomething stupid.
Shame is an evolution to I amsomething stupid.
I did a behavior that I'm notproud of.
Shame you can look at it as Iam that bad thing.

(16:22):
So it's almost a deeper levelof emotion of hurt.
What do you think of thatdefinition?

Speaker 2 (16:32):
Yeah, that relates back to what we have done in
episode on about forgiveness.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
The.
Thing.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
I share about this too, which is what I've learned
from my Buddhist mentor aboutthe difference between, when we
forgive, we're not forgiving theaction, but we're forgiving the
actor.
So same with guilt and shametoo, that I can forgive myself
about the action that I've taken.
No, I don't have to forgivemyself for the I don't have to

(16:57):
forgive the action.
I've done something stupid,that's it.
But then I can forgive myselfto do better next time.
That action doesn't have to bepart of my identity.
But then I guess the healthyguilt can also be there, that if
I have a pattern of doingsomething over and over again
wherever I go, that kind ofbecomes my identity which will
fuel the shame.

(17:18):
But also if the awareness isthere, I can kind of separate
the two and then do better nexttime.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
And I think that's the hope with that emotion and
what can lead to it beinghealthy that if I feel that I've
wronged somebody or I didsomething wrong, it encouraged
us to improve or make amends.
If I did something wrong, I canwrite it.
One of the reasons why I satwith that guilt in middle school

(17:44):
after that field trip isbecause I was scared to death
that I was going to be punishedor suspended.
So I didn't want to make thatwrong right by telling one
myself or giving or going backto DC and giving the shirts back
.
So I sat with that guilt foruntil it made me sick.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Wow, yeah, that was physical for you, very physical.
You were physically sick.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
I was physically sick .
Wow, I was depressed.
Yeah, so that's the role ofhealthy guilt.
It's to self-reflect and thenhopefully, having the
willingness to make amends orchange the unhealthy behavior.
We see that in our practice,don't we?

(18:35):
We do yeah.
A lot of times people come seeus for your life coaching and my
therapy because there's achange in their behavior in life
and they've got this unsettlingfeeling Guilt might be one of
them and they don't know how tochange that behavior with

(18:56):
healthy coping skills or how tomake that change in a positive
way.
I was crippled.
I felt like as a middleschooler I couldn't do anything.
I just had to wait this out andnot ever steal again.
And I didn't steal again for avery long time until I became an
alcoholic and addict actively,yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:19):
Yeah, I'm always attracted to the solutions.
So, as you're talking, I'mthinking about some of the
spiritual program andfellowships and religions and
spirituality.
The old points towardssomething which is knowing
thyself, knowing myself, knowingwho I truly am, knowing my
values.
So, like when I'm coming fromthat place, things are much more

(19:41):
clear you know, because some ofthe things that I've struggled
with, especially when it comesto guilt and shame, comes from
the uncertain beliefs aboutsomething I don't have a solid
ground that I'm standing on.
So, like anything, that isself-discovery, knowing who I am
sets me on a really right paththat, oh, I've done something
wrong that really violated myvalue.

(20:01):
I know it and I becomeaccountable to it.
I do better next time, but ifmy values are kind of like shady
and floating around, I would dosomething.
I'll.
Oh, it wasn't that bad.
I'll do it again, although itwas really bad, you know.
So, like having that reallysolid moral compass which is
also different from a societykind of moral standards which is

(20:23):
what I struggle with, that Ihad to fit in, you know but like
knowing your own internal moralcompass can take you far, is
what I'm thinking about rightnow.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
And sometimes we try to stay in that murky area when
we're in the thick of theresistance, if we're in the
thick of the guilt or the shameor the unhealthy guilt that
sometimes we feel that we don'tknow how to get out of it,
because we sometimes try tosuppress that healthy moral
compass.
I've been known to ask clientsand I often have an assessment

(20:57):
that I know the answer to thisbecause I believe they have this
in them.
I asked them do you know thedifference between right and
wrong?
Well, of course I do and I saidgood, I believe that too.
Now, what is right, what iswrong and what is healthy in
your situation, and being ableto shift the gray area of what

(21:17):
someone is going through and go,okay, what's my moral compass,
what's healthy that can helpthem?
People go, oh, I just wantnormal.
And I tell them I don't know ifI want normal.
Sometimes normal is prettyfucked up in our society and our
cultural norms.
So I go, I don't know if I knowwhat normal is, but I know I

(21:38):
want healthy.
So, what is healthy to you?
And begin to help them identifywhat is that for them and that
can take some of the ambiguityout and go.
Oh, I feel this anxiety, I feelthis guilt.
Am I thinking, am I feeling, amI acting in a way that's
fueling healthy or unhealthyAnxiety or freedom, fear or joy,

(22:03):
problem or solution?
And I help them identify.
I call it emotional awareness,emotional sobriety, eq.
Oh so what is this gut feeling?
What is this anxious feelingtelling you, man, I'm not
healthy with what I'm thinking,doing, acting, coping Well, good
, let's empower the healthy partof you.

Speaker 2 (22:25):
Yeah, that right and wrong question, and I used to
ask these questions when I wasyoung, which was probably a
beginning of my existentialcrisis.

Speaker 1 (22:33):
Like why am I here?
What is the purpose?

Speaker 2 (22:35):
of life.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
What is this all about?

Speaker 2 (22:38):
And I've been revisiting that question and
I've been coming up with ananswer, which is that the
purpose of life is growth.
Life is all about growth, tokeep growing.
So when you ask that questionof right and wrong or healthy
and unhealthy I think about likeharmfulness and harmlessness,
that is, this action is going tohelp the growth of my life or
the growth of my children orpeople that I'm interacting with

(23:01):
, then I should do it, but ifit's going to hinder their
growth, then that's the wrongthing.
So it's probably too much of asimplification but, like
anything that helps grow thingsis the right action.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
That's empathy and perspective.
I'm not this selfish,self-centered, it's all about me
.
Mind frame, perspective and Igo.
How do I connect with otherpeople?
How can this affect anotherhuman being in a healthy way?
Well, this might affect me in apositive way, but let me see
how it affects other people.
So, yeah, I think, activatinghealthy guilt.

(23:39):
Yes, we're reflecting ourvalues and our principles.
Yes, we're looking atpracticing empathy and putting
ourselves in the shoes of othersand how it affects your actions
.
For me, taking that shirt fromthat person that was selling
shirts for five bucks, I tookaway from him and I made other
people that would never stealthat.
I was like look at me, lookwhat I can do.

(24:01):
Yeah, you don't know me.
Oh, now I affected theirconsciousness and their version
of right and wrong and began tosee that and, oh my God, I was
sick.
Like I said, so yeah activatinghealthy guilt helps us take
responsibility.

Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah, before we started recording this too, I
was thinking about I might bemisremembering or or like kind
of butchering it, but inBuddhism they are different
levels of spirituality, I guess,like they are people who have
attained noble, they arereferred to as arahants, like
the noble ones who have reallypurified their mind, but they're

(24:39):
not like the Buddha or anything, because Buddha is the one who
has attained enlightenment andthen can also teach and give it
back.
But they're like I guess theway they say is that it's almost
as the amounts of sand at thebottom of the river.
There are just that many nobleones in this.
You know eons and eons of time.
But one of the qualities thatthey have of these noble ones is

(25:00):
that they have really purifiedtheir mind so much that even if
they have done something wrong,they have the inability to hide
it which is kind of what we'retalking about.
that I mean, they might or mightnot still make mistakes, but
even if they do, they have theinability to hide it you know
which is that healthy kill?

Speaker 1 (25:22):
that we're talking about you know, I might think it
because I'm a human, I'm not asaint, I'm not an angel, I'm not
all these things.
Have the ability to look at mythoughts and my actions and not
act on all of the unhealthy ones.
Now, I might sometimes be anasshole, but I don't always have

(25:43):
to act out on it.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
Yeah, yeah.
So I want to ask you aboutpractical tools that let's say
I've done something that I'mguilty of.
What would be the first step toeither bring that into light or
unwind it, or to do better nexttime?

Speaker 1 (26:04):
Set realistic goals.
Sometimes I have someone comein here that is in a
relationship or and or amarriage that is lustful, or
having an affair and that bringsintense guilt to them.
So what's a realistic goal forthem?

(26:25):
One might be to stop textingthat individual.
One might be to not if you'reat work and that person works
there, to not take the long wayto go past their door in the
hallway.
That could be the firstrealistic goal to change that

(26:45):
guilty behavior, action thatthey have and encouraging and
powering them.
Why do they actually want toset that goal?
Why do they feel guilty ofdoing that action?
They know in their eyes it'snot healthy and for them it's
not right.
So set a realistic goal.
That would be one I like.

(27:08):
That that's very practical.
Another is seek support.
Even though that's a realisticgoal for a lot of people, it's
still hard for them to followthrough with that.
Yeah, I know I shouldn't bedoing this, but I'm still doing
it.
So how do we takeresponsibility?

(27:29):
You're not in denial of thatbehavior and you're not in
denial of this guilt, but whatare some other underlying causes
and conditions?
What are your values and yourprinciples that you're choosing
not to follow and ignore that'sfueling this unhealthy behavior.
So those are some of the thingsthat I would explore with them.

Speaker 2 (27:52):
Yeah, those are very helpful.
Take a positive action,something simple, realistic goal
, or ask for help.
That's what I'm hearing.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
And to me where we often like to go.
It's how do we practice mindfuldecision-making?
How do I cultivate thatmindfulness?
And in the process, beforeacting, do I consider the
potential consequences of myactions and be aware to activate
before I do it feel that gutconsciousness, before the guilt

(28:26):
actually happens?
I had a friend of mine thatsaid an affair starts at hello
and it can certainly rippleeffect or go downhill from there
.
So why do we even explorebefore we get there?
Wait, why am I doing this?
I thought I used to be theyears ago.

(28:49):
This is a disclaimer, this isyears ago.
I thought I used to be the verysafe flirt.
So in my professional setting,whether it was the 65-year-old
nurse or the 25-year-old,whatever other person working-

(29:09):
there that I was the one thatwas safe.
They know I wouldn't go downthat road but I would just be
the flirt.
And then I realized, doing someinventory on myself, I was
getting something from this.
It was feel good, it wasattention, whether I was in a
relationship or not.
And then I started getting thisguilty feeling of what's

(29:31):
fueling this behavior, just toflirt all the time.
And with therapy and 12 stepsand things like that, I realized
how often this was happeningand I would do it innately all
the time.
And I remember reaching out tosomeone else that had years and
years of sober and I said, oh mygosh, I can't stop myself.

(29:52):
And her reaction was, yeah,you're a flirt whore.
But then as soon as I realizedit, I was like, wait a minute,
why is fueling this?
What is this perspective that Ifeel that I needed to get this
kind of attention and feel goodand it wasn't serving me and it

(30:14):
led to some other toxic patternsand behaviors, because this is
just an empty kind of feeling.
And when I looked at that and Istopped doing that behavior and
I became so hyper, aware of howflirtatious I was, whether it
was a 65-year-old or the25-year-old and then I got
uncomfortable.
I said, wait, my first thoughtis just to flirt.

(30:36):
And as soon as I stopped doingthat, it's all I shit you not.
As soon as I stopped doing thatand that behavior changed all
of a sudden I got differentpromotions professionally and I
have my now wife.
I attracted a different personbecause I didn't need to fill
that void of attention and like,no matter how innocent I

(31:02):
thought it was throughflirtatiousness and that level
of guilt and changing some of mypatterns and behaviors in these
relationships, a form of amends, all of a sudden my higher
power presented me my wife, ahealthier relationship.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
Yeah, that's powerful .
Yeah, thanks for sharing that.
Yeah, the other thing that I'vebeen thinking about is also I
don't know if this speaks to allthe listeners it wouldn't speak
to people who don't thinkthey've ever done any kind of
mistakes in their life.
So, like, that's what I loveabout recovery community that is

(31:40):
actually good news for peoplewho have done a lot of mistakes.
That for me, that's a moralcompass, like for me, that's the
mindful decision making that Idon't need to speculate.
I can just look at my own pastthat, oh, this is how I felt
when I did this.
It becomes like a hidden goalin a way.
And I don't know, I'm a big fanof people who have gone through

(32:05):
hell and come back out strongerand I applaud for those people.
And that's also part of growthtoo.
Sometimes, from my limitedpoint of view, my growth is
being hindered, but, like, inthe grand scheme of things, like
these difficult things mistakes, guilt, shame, all the
difficulties that we go throughis part of the growth where we

(32:27):
can look back and use it as areference point or a fuel to do
better in the future.
So it makes me think of that,about guilt.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
Yeah, the nature of being human and the emotions
that come with it.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
And one last thought would be about the benefit of
reflecting on the previousmistakes.
Is that connection with otherpeople?
That's the best part about mylife today being able to connect
and that's, I think, is alsothe purpose of life.
Time is so limited, our time onEarth is so short, so human

(33:04):
connection is so important.
But then whenever there issomething that I've done that
prevents or that blocks myconnection with other people, I
don't want to do that again, youknow, because I've lived that
way for a long time, whereeverything was just isolation,
because everything was blocked.
So that to me is a goodmotivation to do things that are

(33:25):
not guilt-driven, or even ifthere is guilt, treat it as a
healthy guilt and then do betternext time, because it helps us
connect with other people deeperand more meaningful.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
What a good guiding force Emotions, the power of
emotions, and what they'retrying to tell us.
Well, thanks, saul, this wasfun, huh.

Speaker 2 (33:46):
Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
As we explored guilt.
It is a natural aspect of beinghuman, reminding us for our
moral compass and capacity forempathy and growth.
We've delved into thedistinctions between healthy and
unhealthy guilt, understandingthat, while healthy guilt can
motivate positive change,unhealthy guilt can burden us
with irrational feelings andself-destructive tendencies.

(34:10):
Remember it is essential to bemindful of the roots of our
guilt, examining our moralprinciples, cultural influences
and internalized beliefs.
Through self-awareness andreflection, we can differentiate
between legitimate guilt orhealthy guilt and guiding us
toward self-improvement, andunwarranted guilt hindering our

(34:30):
progress.
As you navigate your journeythrough life, embrace empathy
and accountability, for they arepowerful tools in activating
healthy guilt.
Acknowledge your mistakes withhumility and practice
self-compassion, recognizingthat we all have moments of
imperfection.
We encourage you to seeksupport from your community,

(34:50):
friends or professionals as youexplore your feelings of guilt
and work towards healing andgrowth.
Together, we can create a spacefor understanding and
transformation.
Let this episode be a reminderthat it's through our collective
efforts that we can uncoversolutions to the challenges
presented by guilt.
Embrace healthy guilt as anally on your path to becoming

(35:12):
the best version of yourself.
So thank you for joining uswhen a therapist, buddhist and
you and if you found thisepisode valuable.
We greatly appreciate yoursupport by once again leaving a
like comment or subscribing toour podcast.
Share it with others, as webenefit from these discussions,
for it is through our collectiveengagement that we can foster
positive change in our lives andthe lives of those around us.

(35:33):
Remember guilt is anopportunity for growth, not a
burden to carry indefinitely.
Embrace the lessons it offersand let it be a catalyst for
your personal evolution.
Until next time, my name isLuke and this is all.
Thank you all for listening.