Embracing Impermanence: The Path to Cultivating Lasting Joy According to Buddhism

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What if the happiness we've been chasing differs from the lasting joy Buddhism suggests? Join us as we journey from fleeting happiness to enduring joy, guided by the teachings of Buddhism. We'll debunk societal norms that favor temporary fixes and dig deeper into impermanence, exploring how understanding this concept can be the key to finding lasting happiness. We also appreciate the power of human connections in fostering true joy, as exemplified by Moe Gaba, a young boy whose zest for life inspired Baltimore amidst his physical ailments.

We'll also uncover the transformative power of meditation in attaining acceptance and genuine joy. Through our journeys, we'll share how embracing life's hurdles and living virtuously can lead you to a profound sense of fulfillment and inner peace. We'll also contemplate the idea of purpose and its significance in our pursuit of happiness. Brace yourself for a thought-provoking discussion on the Eightfold Path and the necessity of leading an ethical life. Buckle up for a deep dive into the quest for true happiness!

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Zaw Maw — Recovery Collective — Annapolis, MD (recoverycollectivemd.com)
Luke DeBoy — Recovery Collective — Annapolis, MD (recoverycollectivemd.com)
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Hello everyone, we are broughtto you as usual by the Recovery
Collective in Annapolis,maryland, and thank you all for
joining us today.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Yeah, thank you.
Good to be here again.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
It's a special occasion today because it is
Zaw's birthday and we just ateice cream.
Oh, that was delicious Incelebration of his birthday and
I am blissful and I am happythat's great.
What a great topic let's talkabout today's all.
Not just your birthday, buthappy birthday to you, thank you

(00:45):
.
So if you like Zaw and hisbirthday, like comment, share I
turned 47.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
I've been messing around with people.
When I'm 47, I just look young.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
That wisdom leads to Benjamin Button syndrome there.
Yeah, let's talk abouthappiness, the joy, the pursuit
of the gift of happiness, theimportance of happiness.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah, it's a good topic.
This topic came to mind of Iguess the term is true happiness
or genuine happiness, not likea fleeting pleasure, pleasant
sensation that is unquenchable,or craving that is unquenchable,
but more of a sustainablehappiness.
Because, yeah, after mybirthday, I started thinking

(01:39):
about time, how limited time is,so I came up with this amount
of times available throughoutthe week and how much commitment
I have and how much little timeI have.
And then the more I think aboutit, it's like time being used up
, it's like a limited resource.
But then the bright spot of mylife has also been human

(02:00):
connection with other people.
So I just started thinkingabout that.
I cannot create more time.
I only have 24 hours a day.
He has 24 hours but I cancreate more meaning in my life
and I feel like that's where thetrue, genuine happiness lies,
in a way.
So that's why I wanted to talkabout this topic from the point

(02:22):
of view of creating a life thatis meaningful.
It can be material but lessimportant, but more of like
spiritual or relational, wherelife is meaningful through human
connections, and then relatethat with the idea of genuine
happiness, either from aBuddhist point of view or from

(02:43):
your therapy point of view aswell.
When you help people, you knowwhen people get to that place of
freedom, joy, happiness.
Life is very life is a gift ina way, you know.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
When I listen to or hear a topic, whether it's in a
group setting or support group,I try to think of okay, when I
think of happiness, how else canI explain or feel that?
And I think a level ofcontentment, I think of an inner
peace, a matter of the externalcomplexities of life that

(03:23):
happens Like how can I have thatgenuine happiness with life
stuff?
That's what comes to my mindwhen you say genuine happiness.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah.
So the definition or the termin Bali that is used for true,
yeah, or this is the truth, likethe noble truth.
I'm trying to relate that tothat True is something that
doesn't contradict itself.
So, like connecting that withhappiness is very meaningful for
me that, when I was chasingafter pleasure out of like drugs

(03:57):
and alcohol and all thesethings, is a happiness that
contradicts itself.
It doesn't stay faithful, youknow, it changes or a crash or
it's not, it's an illusion.
But when it comes to truehappiness, it's something that
is sustainable, that is reliable, that is secure.
And the best part is that forme to be happy, I don't need to

(04:20):
take anything away from anybodyelse.
That, to me, is a genuinehappiness because I can draw it
out from within, and I thinkthat's a very empowering concept
that I've learned from Buddhismthat when I say, may I learn
how to be truly happy, it's awin-win situation because it

(04:41):
doesn't mean that I have to takethis stuff away from someone
else for me to be happy.
But it's all internal.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
Yeah, I think society offers or sells the idea of
quick fix solutions forhappiness.
Buddhism does not.
And to your point, you'resaying happiness is within.
But it's certainly a marketingangle to get happiness in a very

(05:10):
quick way.
How does Buddhism give analternative perspective on
happiness compared to society'squick fix solutions?

Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah, how do I simplify it?
So in the 16 step discourse,the mindfulness of breathing,
there are four categories andthe second category deals with
feelings.
The first category deals withthe body, or the breathing, or
the 32 parts of the body,transition into the second part,

(05:43):
which is the feeling, vidana,and there's a metaphor or
imagery used there that we canuse the breath to calm the body.
And then the word that they useis bhiti, which is translated
as rapture, and the image thatthey use is like a spring lake,
or it's a lake.

(06:03):
There's an internal spring thatcomes from within and it cools
the lake, so it's not receivinganything from the outside, but
it's receiving somethinginternal.
So that is kind of adescription of happiness, or
tukka, it's a Bali term forhappiness.
So I don't know if that answersyour question or if that

(06:24):
creates more question.
I'm trying to simplify whathappiness means in Buddhism.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
What are some other words in Burmese that are, my
mind went, synonyms forhappiness, serenity, peace,
internal peace regardless ofexternal chaos?
What are some other descriptorsof true happiness?

Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, I mean some kind of clarity, concentration,
calmness.
These are all description ofhappiness, some sort of like
stability, because the firstnubul-chu, the impermanence,
things are always in flux, butthere's also a sense of
stability in the way of that.

(07:10):
Yeah it is true.
So let me just partner withwhat is true, and then you get a
solid foundation by standing onthat.
So if I look at the world fromthat point of view that
everything is changing, life isthere is suffering in life and
nothing is personal.
So if I stand on that ground,that's where the secure and

(07:30):
reliable happiness is, becauseI'm standing with the truth as
opposed to oh, I'll never losethis relationship, my love will
be forever, or I will be in amaximum health for the rest of
my life, I'll never grow old.
So if I'm like partneringmyself with those illusions,
then that's happiness that cancontradict itself.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah, when you say that, standing with the truth,
that can be right now sufferinghas happened, or the truth is
that I've got happiness in mylife.
I don't know if that'scontradictory or the paradox of
acceptance or the reality oflife, but my mind goes, and I

(08:14):
think a lot of people can relateto this.
I have true happiness if I havepurpose in my life.
I don't think that's a Buddhistway of looking at things when
it comes to happiness.
If I have purpose in my life,that I'm living for a reason,
that will lead to a level ofhappiness that I wouldn't have.

(08:36):
We often see, in terms ofstages of change, people in
their 60s, 70s and 80s.
If they didn't feel like theyhad a purposeful life, then that
may lead to sadness, depressionand lack of happiness.
I don't know.
Buddhism looks at it that way.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
Yeah, I don't disagree with that, or I'm not
sure.
Maybe you can expand more onthat, because I do feel like
that can bring happiness to livea purposeful life I don't think
that contradicts or that thereis a room for that in a Buddhist
world as well to live ameaningful life.

(09:16):
That's also the thing that I amas happy as I make it up to be
in a way that what do I want outof life and then stay in true
to that.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
Is it because one of the Buddhist teachings is living
altruistically?

Speaker 2 (09:39):
Yeah, that's a little bit complex subject but we can
simplify it in a way of avirtuous life.
Virtuous life as in takingactions that doesn't cause
harmfulness, because altruismcan be kind of like an ideal
poster child kind of picture,where it's too good to be true

(10:00):
that you're so altruistic, but astep down or more realistic way
is to be living a life thatcauses less harm, which in a way
promotes loving, kindness toother people anyway.
So if I'm not stealing, if I'mnot lying, if I'm not doing any
kind of sexual misconduct, useof drugs, these are all that

(10:21):
leads to the opposite ofaltruism.
But when I'm living an ethical,virtuous life, I'm actually
radiating peace, which createsthat room for altruistic mindset
, naturally without having to goout of my way to do that.

Speaker 1 (10:38):
Tell us more about your perspective on happiness.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
Yeah, I don't know.
It all comes back to theEightfold Path, the very first
category of the Eightfold Pathof morality.
So that, for me, is wherehappiness lies, and also that's
also what every time I talk tomy mother or my relatives
Burmese relatives from my deadside, my aunts they always talk

(11:02):
about how important it is tomaintain the precepts, because
that way that's the most secureway to stay happy.
But if I don't, I'm standing ona very loose ground.
So what they mean by that isthat if I hold true to those
five precepts on a regular basis, my happiness is stable, but

(11:23):
like, not happiness as inpleasurable things, but it's
more about calmness, that Idon't lie, or I try my best not
to lie.
No sexual misconduct, nokilling, no stealing, no use of
drugs or alcohol, like those arethe bare minimum of five
precepts, and if I stay true tothat, happiness is sustainable.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
So that piggybacks on our previous episode on guilt.
If you live by these preceptsor these morals and values or
these spiritual principles, thenthat aligns with contentment or
a level of true happiness.
Is that a simplified way oflooking at it?

Speaker 2 (12:05):
Yeah, it is.
But also like this is likespeaking from my own experience
too is that they don't have tobe the barriers in a way, these
precepts, because I used to livethat way, that, oh, I will
never break them, only then I'llbe happy.
But like life is not that way,you know, sometimes I got to
break those to realize that, oh,I don't like this way and I

(12:27):
want to stay in that refuge, youknow, in that zone of where I
feel confident and secure andgood self-esteem.
So why?

Speaker 1 (12:35):
don't you tell us when your birthday, a time you
broke one of these precepts?

Speaker 2 (12:40):
Oh, multiples.
Yeah, I don't think we'll haveenough time.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
That was the political out right there.
Well, let's talk abouthappiness, flourishing, a
meaningful life unveiled, if youwill, physical health.
Is that a necessary ingredientfor genuine happiness?
Do you think physical health?

Speaker 2 (13:03):
Yeah, I think there are different opinions around
that, but for me, where I am inmy life today, physical health
is very important.
I wouldn't say it's aprerequisite, but you know, the
way I've heard of it from a goodfriend is that my body is a
vehicle for my soul to write on.
So might as well maintain thevehicle to be in a good shape,

(13:25):
then I have a better chance atliving a spiritually fit life,
you know.
But I think there's also otherschool of thought in Buddhism
too, where body is just adistraction.
The calmness of mind is moreimportant.
So, but for me, what I standtoday is treating both equally.
Both body and the mind needs tobe in good shape.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
I think that's ideal, but I've certainly seen a lot
of people with physical ailments, cancers, who are some of the
happiest, genuinely happiestpeople I've ever met in my life,
where as an outsider trying toconnect and empathize with them,
I feel sympathy and hurt andlike can't fathom how can

(14:15):
someone that knows that they maynot live can have that much
happiness.
I'll give you an example.
Well, locally, there's this kid.
His name is Mo Gabba and he wasraised in Glenburni and his
first diagnosis of canceroccurred at the age of nine

(14:36):
months old and soon after thathe became blind.
And after two diagnoses ofretinoblastoma, he was diagnosed
with osteocarcinoma or osteoanyway more cancers at the age
of six and he turned around acity, and what I mean by that?

(14:59):
He was like the number one fanfor the Baltimore Ravens and the
Baltimore Orioles.
He would call into the localsports radio stations and he
became famous.
This kid that had physical pains, was blind, multiple cancers

(15:22):
and surgeries and treatments,but he had this infectious laugh
in this joy of life, that sparkthat was contagious, so much so
.
Unfortunately, he did pass inJuly of 2020.
The city mourned that he hadsuch an effect on the city and

(15:47):
the players.
There was one player for theOrioles that had colon cancer
and he got really close with Moe, this boy who was in a
wheelchair, because he wasinspiring that he had this joy
even though he was going throughsuffering, and even the

(16:11):
Baltimore Ravens but Baltimorethey did it with Moe in the end
zone to honor him and there's aMoe Gabba day and he just had
this contagious, infectious joyfor life, even though he was
physically suffering with cancerand ultimately succumbed to it.
But, you would never know or seethat from the interactions he

(16:36):
had in this legitimate joy forlife, even though there was tons
of suffering.

Speaker 2 (16:41):
Yeah, that's inspiring and that connects back
to how we began theconversation about the essence
of life.
So it's not about the quantityof time that a person lived, but
the essence that his lifeproduced to other people.
That is very inspiring.

Speaker 1 (17:00):
He flourished even in pain.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
There was this flourishing.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
I look at the word.
He was flowering.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
There is this expansion of just joy that was
coming out of him, even thoughit wasn't there was Daisy's
bedridden yeah, yeah, yeah,these are just words, but as
we're talking, I'm also beingreminded of that term of true
happiness, which reminds me thathappiness parallels or

(17:31):
proportional with the truth.
Truth is something that istruthful is where the happiness
is.
So what I mean by that is thattruth cannot be concealed.
If it is concealed, happinessis either fake or it's not
sustainable.
As you were talking to, I wasrecalling this was a long, long
time ago.
I was still pretty young.

(17:52):
My dad is a doctor, so I heardabout this from him or overheard
about that.
I don't know if it was ahypothetical situation or if it
was one of his patient, but hewas just.
This is what I remember thedifference between when somebody
is diagnosed with cancer, thefamily members empathize and
don't really let that patientknow because they don't want the

(18:13):
patient to be heartbroken, sothey hold it off.
But it actually is damaging thepatient.
What he was saying is that whenwe say the truth to the patient
, the body has a very complexand interesting mechanism to
accept the truth and then startpreparing for death.
But it brings ease and comfortto the body, like the calmness

(18:37):
and the happiness.

Speaker 1 (18:38):
It's like it's okay.
Yes.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
But then like but when that news is kind of
concealed, the patient is likekind of having these
contradictory feelings that, oh,I think I'm still going to live
, but I don't feel good, orwhatever it is.
So I'm also being reminded ofthat.
That happiness comes fromaccepting the truth, partnering
again with the truth, and that'sDanny on that ground.

Speaker 1 (19:04):
Yeah, it's making me think as I process that, because
I can see that I don't know ifI can relate to that, but I
believe that in my essence thatthat is so true.
I've never heard it that way.
I wish that was.
There was more awareness aroundthat.
I really wish that was true.
When you see it in death,whether it's the denial of the

(19:27):
family or maybe with theindividual, that maybe they
didn't have this true happinessor this level of acceptance,
where that fight does happen,can you talk more about moving
from the dukkha to likeliberation?
Do you know what I mean by that?

Speaker 2 (19:47):
The freedom from suffering.
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
That's the goal of Buddhismwhich is attainable in this life
time.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
Yeah, sum that up for us when you're birthday.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
No, I'm not going to go to that level, but I'll just
do that with dukkha, which isalso a concept in Buddhism joy,
or pleasant experience, which isactually part of dukkha,
because they do go away, but forme I'm okay settling with that
right now in my life.
But yeah, there is suffering,separation from the ones that I

(20:19):
love or the loss of people thatI care about, stuff like that.
But then the dukkha part isthat there are meaningful things
going on and this is also themessage that I wanted to carry
to the listeners too, which Iwant to actually encourage
people, whether you're in themost happy place or most

(20:41):
depressed place.
But human connection is soimportant for me, like that's
where joy is, in a way that asense of belonging, a sense of
connection, and I haven't gonethrough a day without
interacting with any other humanbeing.
I have done that before in thepast, which was a miserable

(21:03):
experience, miserable existence,but my work involved connecting
with other people andeverything that I do, so that's
like the bright spot of my life.
And then again, that limitationof time that I've thought about
is that I have a very limitedtime, but then it's almost like
time expands when you connectwith another human being.
So when you make the best outof it, it's like more meaning is

(21:27):
created.
So that's also what I'mimagining about the time that I
spend with my kids, because Ican be like, oh, my time with
them is so short or my time isall these things, but then when
I'm with them, how do I make thebest memories with them and I'm
making the best out of it.
In a way, it's what I wannafocus on.

(21:47):
I don't know if I deviated fromyour question of explaining
about the liberation, but that,to me, is liberating enough to
find joy and human connection.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
Well, that's certainly one way to pursue
happiness through connection andthe truth that comes with
connection with family and kids.
I guess that can be liberating.
It is for me.
I think my kids certainly giveme an ability to be present and

(22:23):
identify the truth with life andsometimes the variables of life
try to convince me of thesuffering that comes with the
lack of control with kids.
But it's that gray.
What side of the coin am Idealing with?
And when I meditate on that andbe more present with my kids,

(22:44):
that there's.
I'll give you this example.
Today I was doing a speakingengagement and came home and my
wife was with the kids for eighthours a day and she pulled up
and I didn't even realize sheturned off the car.
She hopped out of the car soquick and she said Tag, you're
in, and I she didn't even do,you turn off the car and so it's

(23:08):
a Priya, so I can't tell.
But I opened the door and saidoh, I see why you're tagging me
out.
A super diaper blowout all overthe car seat for my youngest
and that could be an absolutenightmare, horror story and it
is, and it's gross and it'sstinky and it's all that stuff.

(23:29):
But isn't it wild.
I'm telling the story and I'mlaughing and there's this either
sick humor or just thishappiness.
And just hey, I hold the babywhile you wash and we take turns
and doing this and getting itout of the car seat.

(23:50):
That's you know, and it's.
It could be a form of suffering, but now, looking back like
that's a story, that's justfunny and everybody has one of
those that has kids.

Speaker 2 (24:01):
And there's liberation.

Speaker 1 (24:02):
in that there's happiness.
Might be a stretch, but there'sjoy in that.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
Sounds too simple, but like, yeah, that's it.
I know to take things tooseriously.
You know that the likeness inlife can be where joy is.
And also, yeah, the otherreason, since you're talking
about family and kids, the otherreason why I think about this
topic is that when I'm hangingout with my kids my daughter is
five, my son is three and it's alot to be there, to be with

(24:33):
them by myself.
You know I feel overwhelmed.
But then there has been many,many moments pretty much all the
time actually, on a regularbasis where my daughter asked me
are you happy, you know?
And I don't think about it thatmuch, but since she brought
that up many, many times, it gotme thinking about how important
it is to be happy.
Like I cannot force myselfhappy, but like, if she's
noticing me, like not having agood time, I'm kind of like

(24:56):
losing the essence of spendingtime with them, you know.
So like it's actually it'salmost like a mindfulness
practice when she asked me thatquestion, like, are you happy,
you know?
And then I asked myself no, I'mnot, but I can do something
about it, instead of being stuckin that unhappy, upset, poor me
kind of situation.
So that's also why I wanted tobring this up for my own benefit

(25:18):
as well, to kind of challengemyself that, oh, am I happy
right now?
And if the answer is no,there's something that I can do
about it, or it can just be achange in the attitude in that
moment.
It doesn't have to be a drasticaction where I have to go out
for a run or something you knowso.
But yeah, kids are amazing.
They pick up things that we'renot aware of.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
Yeah, I don't know where I'm going with this, but
of course I made it seem niceand funny, but of course in that
moment I was washing mydaughter's hands.
And then we're.
This might be two graphics forsome people.
I apologize if it is.
But then of course I smell.
My daughter's name is Maggieand I smell her hands and it

(26:03):
still smells like poop.
So I curl my nose and I look atmy wife and in that moment it
was the thought of judgment thatshe didn't clean her hands well
enough and she, understandably,based on my facial expression,
internalize I'll get over itspoop.

(26:24):
You've smelled it before.
I'm sorry if I didn't get underthe nail right, but it wasn't
that at all.
It was just I was almost likemaking this face like oh my God,
it still stinks, and findingthe humor in it at that moment.
But at that moment it wasn'thumorous.
So then I tried to explainmyself.
But looking back I can see thatmoment, for the initial stress

(26:45):
my wife was with the kids foreight hours and two of them and
does tap out and then it waspoop and then it was all of
those things.
But the gradual steps of justbeing able to embrace that
everyday experience that parentshave and seeing the way you can

(27:06):
see me laughing with a smile inmy face about even the
stressful moments and theheadbutting with my wife at that
time I can look back inhappiness.
Now.
Do you mind sharing a littlebit just how meditation serves
as a tool to uncover the innateawareness of just these profound

(27:28):
insights that can lead tohappiness?

Speaker 2 (27:31):
Yeah, again, it's a sense of clarity, seeing things
as they are.
That's what meditation does tome, which comes with acceptance
as well.
I don't wanna get too carriedaway.
I've been reflecting on my ownexperience about like I talk a
lot for my job and like words orjust words, but like lately

(27:51):
I've been just paying attentionto what is it that I'm actually
hearing and what is it that I'mactually saying, because there's
just so many good words, somany good phrases.
That means a lot, but then Ican kind of like hide behind
those.
So I know I'm saying acceptanceand awareness and all these
things, but so I wanna be moreintentional about these words.
So what I'm trying to say isthat meditation gives me the

(28:18):
ability to see things as theyare.
What I mean by acceptance isthat this is the way things are.
So in a way it is free to knowthat because mind is so
predictable.
So it gives me that ability topause and then look at it, which
I don't have access to in theheat of the moment with my kids,

(28:40):
because I have a physicalreaction to loud noises and how
they like drive me crazy, tokids wanting two things at the
same time.
But then, when I kind of recallthe place that I can get
through meditation is that, yeah, this is life, you know, and it
is happening and I am embracingit.

(29:02):
I can embrace it because thisis it.
So there's a level of acceptancethat comes with meditation
because, you know, withmeditation, if you've been
practicing, you notice that howdifficult it is to still the
mind, to still the body.
But at the same time, thedifficulty comes from my
projection.
Once I sit it with it longerenough, it makes me realize that

(29:23):
I don't have to do anythingabout any of these, Especially
if you've already set acommitment to sit for 10 minutes
.
15 minutes thoughts come out oh, I need to call this person and
you do this, do that, buteverything will be okay, you
know, even if you don't do that.
So that's, that's a base thatthe meditation gives me and also
the fact that Obstacles, youknow, in life, is part of it,

(29:44):
part of the growth.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
It sounds like a level of enlightenment or
acceptance or reality or truth.
You've been saying To get tothat part can be challenging
sometimes.

Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yeah, and the best part is that my problems are not
unique.
That's also what meditationteaches me that, yeah, everybody
is going through something in adifferent version, but that the
parallel theme, though, is thatthe way life is structured,
like how we evolve, how wesurvive, there's always

(30:17):
obstacles that hinder the growthof life, but we somehow make it
so.
That's also where thatacceptance comes from, that,
when there is difficulty, yeah,of course life is difficult, but
we can make through it.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
So far we've talked about how truth, meditation, al
truism, virtue, these are allthings that lead to a meaningful
life and, ultimately, happiness.
What else comes to mind to helpcultivate true, this true
flourishing happiness?

Speaker 2 (30:53):
Yeah, circling back to the human connection, but to
take it a little further, isthat idea of service, you know,
giving, yeah, the idea ofselflessness is also what brings
true happiness.
So, yeah, if you are inrecovery or if you are in some
kind of fellowship or serviceindustry, people can relate to
that.
That how much happiness comesfrom by helping others, which is

(31:16):
a paradox, but that's, you know.
Buddha is a prime example ofthat.
He spent less time working forenlightenment and the more time
I'm sustaining enlightenment bydelivering it to other people,
you know, 40 plus years, I thinkthat's his ministry.
So, yeah, that that's anotheraspect where it comes to

(31:41):
happiness, where we help others,that happiness that is
generated.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
So happiness can't occur in a vacuum.
That happiness you got to giveit away, to keep it, that's uh.

Speaker 2 (31:57):
Well, you gotta have it first.

Speaker 1 (31:59):
Yeah, because then we can spew, uh, toxicity, huh.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
Yeah, yeah, I love those meditation where the
intention starts with may Ilearn to be happy, you know,
starting from within.
That to me is a good setup fornot only for ourself but also to
be able to bring happiness toother people, and also that it
is possible.
Uh, because if I don't startfrom there, that's where that

(32:30):
dukkha is, that when my kids aremaking me angry, that become
the source of my suffering Forgetting the fact that happiness
originates from within.
But I'm like, only if theychange I'll be happy, which is
kind of the.
It's the reverse.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
Yeah, yeah, and this certainly augments some of our
previous episodes in terms ofcontracted awareness.
The problem is my children justaren't Listening to me and
they're Taking away my peace andserenity and my happiness.
Only if this wasn't happeningin my life, I would finally have

(33:07):
some peace and happiness.
And you've been prettyconsistent, even though I tried
to punch holes in your yourviewpoint.
You keep saying that it comesfrom within and these external
variables are not.
These aren't the reasons that Ihave this true happiness.
So someone is hearing that andgoes, sure, that makes the sense

(33:29):
, whether it's in theory orreality, but I'm still not happy
.
What do you tell that person?

Speaker 2 (33:38):
Yeah, first of all, meditate and examine why are you
unhappy?
But not in an analytical way,but more of a investigation,
like curious way, um.
And then, yeah, self-compassion.
Again, you know these are justwords, but, um, you know, we, we

(34:02):
deserve to be happy and we havethe capacity to be happy, and
it's not as complicated as wemake it to be.
So, yeah, I hope this topic washelpful and meaningful for
people.

(34:22):
Yeah, life is too short andprecious.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
So I'll ask you on this birthday version of a
Therapist of Buddhist in youepisode, how happy are you all?
That's a good question.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
depends on what time of the day, I'm answering it.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
Well, we just ate an ice cream cone before that, so
that certainly can help, eventhough that's external.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
Yeah, I am very happy but, to be more specific, I am
very secure and content from thepoint of view of like, the
other thing about tricky thingabout happiness is that I
confuse between happiness anddistraction.
So, like, life is full ofdistractions and sometimes I

(35:09):
think that's where happiness is,but I'm just ignoring the
problem by distracting thetemporary relief, which is how I
used to live and which was alsohow I can still live.
For me, my source of happinessand the secure contentment comes
from the place that my life nowis not avoiding pain, always

(35:29):
avoiding pain, which is a losingbattle because pain will never
stop, but it's more about like,how do I deal with obstacles and
pain, and then having a gameplan for that, which is a secure
way of staying happy, becauseit will keep showing up, but the
good news is that the more Ideal with it, the better I get
down the line.
So there's trust in that for me.

(35:51):
So in that way, I am very happyto be in that place.

Speaker 1 (35:56):
Can you be happy and suffer at the same time?

Speaker 2 (36:01):
It depends on what you mean by suffering, you know
but you can be.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
Can you be happy and have pain at the same time?

Speaker 2 (36:08):
yeah, that's a tough question.
I think you can it depends onthe relationship that you have
with the pain.
You know.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
I think the reality and the truth with pain doesn't
always have to correlate tosadness.
I think, for example, mo Gabba,an example I gave earlier there
was plenty of times that he hadphysical pain or even sadness,

(36:38):
but he still had this, thislevel of flourishing, human
flourishing, this joy that canstill be present with pain, that
I can accept things for howthey are and still fine.
And maybe I'm more correlatinghappiness to peace of mind and

(37:01):
serenity that even though therecan be pain, sadness, external
chaos, I can still have internalpeace and happiness.
It's not always an all ornothing, but this level of
reality and contentment with allthat is in my world.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
He's nodding his head , so I think no, my thought is
taking me somewhere else, whichis the fact that you kept
mentioning about this episodebeing the birthday episode, and
I don't want to.
I don't want to make it allabout me, but if I were to, I
also wanted to give a shout outto my parents, because I used to
think about my birthday as me,me, me, right, but lately I'm

(37:44):
like actually it's about myparents oh, yeah, we're.

Speaker 1 (37:45):
So, as a parent and, and knowing what you know, you
know, my wife went through.
Oh my god, yeah, I can now goto my mom and go.
Thank you for doing what youdid this day.
Yeah, we should be celebratingthe moms on the birthdays
especially.

Speaker 2 (38:05):
Yeah, this gracious yeah, that that's what I want to
focus my attention on.
About the birthday, and, yeah,because it was a very meaningful
day when my daughter was born,you know, so I can relate to my
parents.
Yeah, it's all about thatcontinuation of love you know
mama, mama malls out there.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (38:25):
I think my dad does listen to these episodes every
now and then they they live allthe way across in Burma.
So, yeah, my mom doesn'tunderstand English, though, so
she probably has to use some AIto get this podcast translated
into Burmese.
There you go yeah, but yeah,thank you, luke, this this was
fun and memorable and meaningfulabsolutely.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
Thank you guys for for listening in as we talk
about genuine happiness.
I think the key takeaway isthat genuine happiness is an
internal journey ofself-discovery, wisdom and
compassion, leading us to a lifeof meaning, purpose and
positive impact on the worldaround us.
I mean, that is part of thecollective solution to health

(39:09):
and wellness and something tostrive for and meditate on and
be more aware of.
Yeah, it's all.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
Happy birthday thank you all right, you're 47 thanks
everyone for listening.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
Please leave a review like comment and, as always, if
you think someone else wouldbenefit, share this with others.
And it is his birthday, so ifyou want to donate a a cup of
coffee or a tea, there's adonate button too.
Thanks everyone, my name isLuke and this is all.
See you next time.
See you.