June 11, 2024 • 37 mins
Carrying around that one special book without ever cracking it open? We've all been there, and in our latest episode, Jamie, Marlena, and Christy get real about the books they hoard with the best of intentions. As they journey beyond their literary confessions, Christy shares how the universe threw her a curveball with a surprise career opportunity, upending her usual slow and steady approach with a demand for rapid decision-making. Our conversation waltzes through the joys of anticipated fiction reads and the serendipity of life's offerings, revealing the unexpected twists in our personal and professional narratives.
Sometimes, growth requires a leap into the unknown. This episode explores the gutsy mindset shift needed to trade the security of a corporate job for the thrill of a new venture, and how embracing discomfort can be the catalyst for profound personal development. Marlena steers us through the complexities of compassionate leadership, while we confront the internal tug-of-war between spirituality and skepticism. It's a candid look at the hurdles we face when aligning our actions with our aspirations, and the resilience we find along the way.
Our exploration doesn't stop at career and personal growth; we delve into the mystical influences in our lives, from moon energy work to the potential spiritual roots of physical ailments. Jamie opens up about her transformative experiences with lunar cycles, inviting you to consider how these natural rhythms could shape your own life. We wrap this episode with gratitude, encouraging you to explore the insights from our past discussions available on our website. Tune in for a tapestry of anecdotes, revelations, and an invitation to embrace the books and experiences that shape our journeys.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hi, welcome to A Witch, a Mystic and A Feminist.
It is Jamie Marlena and me.
Just the three of us today, andwe are thrilled because we are
going to take this episodewherever it goes.
So buckle up.
We have no plans, but you knowwhat?
Usually that's where the bestcontent comes from.
So buckle up.
We have no plans, but you knowwhat?
Usually that's where the bestcontent comes from.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
So I'm excited, but apparently we're full of really
really good advice, so we are.
You might get a piece of thattoday, just saying yes, maybe.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yeah, and you know, prior to starting this recording
we were talking about books andreading because you know, for
the podcast we actually have toread quite a bit lately for the
guests that we've had on.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
We've had a number of authors on the show?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Yeah, yeah, and so you know, and while I do love
reading their books and justlike learning, we were
discussing how we can't waituntil we just have like a
fiction, just just like a beachread, a vacation read, where we
can just like just loseourselves in it.
Um, so I'm very excited forthat time.
I don't know when that timewill come for me, but Marlena is
(01:12):
almost there.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
And I have a book that has nothing to do with the
podcast.
It has nothing to do.
It has nothing to do withspirituality.
How thick is that?
Speaker 3 (01:23):
That's a big book.
Maybe I don't want that book.
Yes, I don't know.
Yeah.
That's a lot of pages, no, if Idon't Well, and If I can
actually like, yeah, no, it'snot that many Like get through
this without you know.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
reading it the way I like to read, I could probably
get through the 400 pages in afew days.
So, um, also, I can't sleep ona plane, so I may just be
reading the entire time, exceptthe flight home.
That's when I pass out.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
That is when I do.
The most of my reading is onthe plane, Cause everyone else
can sleep, which is annoying andI can't so we were just
discussing that.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
I am such an avid book reader in air quotes you
can get.
You can't see that I love whenI get into a good book, a good
book that I just can't put down.
But for me to start it andstick with it, it has to get me
from the very beginning, and Ilove the idea of reading, but it
doesn't happen for me.
I will walk around this housecarrying a book that I plan on
(02:21):
reading everywhere I sit,Because as soon as I sit I'm
going to read that book.
Or every time I'm on a flight,you should look at my books.
My bookmarks are my boardingpasses and some books have like
five of them in there, becausethe books go with me but they
never get opened.
So I have good intentions ofreading.
(02:43):
Yes, and my mom is an avid bookreader.
I mean now, especially as she'sretired, she reads two, three
books a month.
I mean she just goes to them.
So when I go to her house she'slike take this one, take this
one, oh, this one's really good,you know, and I do, and then
they just sit.
So that's on my list.
So, jamie, she's a collector ofbooks at the moment I'm a
(03:03):
collector of books.
Yes, so I'm going to write thisrecommendation down because,
again, I'll probably order it onAmazon and I'll carry it around
the house and hopefully I'llread it.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Well, I'll read it and then I'll ship it to you.
There you go.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
There we go, or the next time.
I see you next time.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I'm in Vegas, I'll bring it with me and just hand
it to you.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Yeah, there we go, and then we'll see how many
boarding passes.
I can collect, because that'swhat I do.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I like that.
What I do, no, but I mean I dolove reading the books that we
have for our guests, because andthank goodness they're good
books because if I have to reada crappy book I'm going to be so
pissed off, Like if I have toread a crappy book I'm going to
be so pissed off, Like if I haveto read a crappy book.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Yeah, I have to.
I have to read a crappy book.
I feel like I'm in school again.
God, I got to read this thing,yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, yeah, we've been lucky.
So far.
We haven't had those books, sothank you to the authors.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Shout out to our guests who wrote books.
They've been great, they havereally enjoyed them.
Thank you for keeping usentertained.
So what's been going on, ladies?
I feel like we've had guestsand guests and they've been
fantastic, but hasn't been usthree and a hot minute, so
that's kind of nice, it's notbeen.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, I've missed you guys.
Good, I know Same.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
We'll start with Christy, oh we're just jumping
in what's been going on, what's?
Speaker 1 (04:29):
happening, um, oh gosh, okay.
So, um, I mentioned on someformer episode that I had kind
of manifested an opportunity, ajob opportunity, or I I not kind
of I'm going to take.
I'm going to reword this.
I had manifested a jobopportunity, um, back in August
of last year, and it looked likeit was going to fall apart in
(04:55):
December.
To me, it fell apart and so Iwas operating as, okay, this
isn't, this isn't it right, thisisn't the opportunity, and
suddenly it came all backtogether in December and was a
very quick.
Quick had to be a quickdecision and had to think
through it quickly, which I amnot a person who likes to
(05:18):
operate on quick changes.
I need my time, I need to plan,I need to, I need to list it
out, I need to pro con that shit.
So I did all that within acouple of days, which is like
unheard of for me, and I left myjob of 10 years and went out,
kind of not on my own, butthat's the plan, right.
(05:38):
So this opportunity is big andscary and I've been in it now
for couple months, a few months,and, uh, it is what I
manifested it to be.
I think if I had been morespecific in my manifestation so
I want to talk about that Likeyou know, I, man, I was really
calling out for financialsecurity, stability, right,
(05:59):
security, like just somethingthat was going to secure our
futures and the future of myfamily.
And you know, I wasn't specificabout the job, I wasn't
specific about the industry, Iwasn't specific about any of
that, right.
So, whereas I could have, Iprobably could have said, oh, I
really want to be an author,like, really best sell, you know
, like, and that's what I want.
My, you know, I could have beenvery specific, but I wasn't.
(06:21):
And so it's in my, my careerpath, it's in my, you know, like
it's, it's, it's all alignedwith that and it is hard.
It is hard, I will say it's noteasy, and so I don't know if I,
I don't know if I expected itto be easy.
I just I don't know.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I'm going to go into this a little bit yeah, I think
that when people manifest, um,they do have that misconception
that it is going to be easybecause you know, yeah, this is
what I wanted, so I'm gonna getexactly what I wanted, I'm going
to be happy, everything's goingto be easy.
What people don't reallyrealize is when you're
manifesting really realize iswhen you're manifesting, we as
(07:04):
humans, we have these blocks inourselves.
You know, we're eitherself-sabotaging or we have
limiting beliefs, whatever it is, and so the universe is going
to give you what you want, butthey're also going to give you
these tests or whatever to helpyou work through those blocks,
(07:24):
those limiting beliefs, and so Idon't think it's always going
to be exactly what you wantuntil you've worked through all
of that shit.
You have some childhood traumaor whatever it is programming,
whatever it is that you havethat's blocking you.
You have to work through thoseblocks to be able to get to
(07:46):
exactly where you want to be inthat manifestation, if that
makes sense.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Yeah, that makes sense.
It gives you growth, yeah, andyou know, it forces growth
because you have to work throughthe problems.
Yeah, and I will be honest, thefirst couple of weeks I was
like what the fuck did I do?
I left my like, I left thiscushy job, this corporate job,
and I had to decide if I wasgoing to be in this new
(08:11):
opportunity a hundred percentand give it my all, or not.
Right, because it was it.
It wasn't going to work if Iwasn't going to give everything
to this opportunity.
And I asked for it Like I, Iwanted this right, so I had to
change my attitude.
And so I I, you know for thefirst couple of weeks I was go
(08:32):
in and I'd be like this issomething bigger, this is
growing, this is going to growinto something bigger.
This is going to be what youwant it to be.
You have the opportunity tomake it.
It's your opportunity right.
Like you're not going into workbecause you have to.
You have chosen this, like youhave chosen this opportunity.
And the minute that I changedthat mindset, everything kind of
changed.
(08:53):
And not that I don't regress,because there's days when I'm
like, oh wait, what the fuck?
And then I'm like, nope, I gotto check myself, right, I got to
check myself.
And when I do, everythingshifts, everything changes, um,
and so it has been.
It has been hard, it's beenhard work, it's going to be hard
work, it's going to be growth.
It's going to be uncomfortable.
(09:13):
You know, like when you're in ajob for a long time, you kind
of can do it in your sleepSometimes.
You know you don't have toreally think about it, that's
not where I am anymore.
And so you know that's reallyuncomfortable and I'm like
that's really kind of just like.
Oh, man, I want to be back inthat comfy blanket.
I just want to be like that wasnice, that was real nice, uh.
But you know, eventually I'llget there again.
(09:34):
I'll, I'll, I will and I'll beable to make this exactly what I
want it to be.
And really I'm operating off ofwhen we did the hypnosis or the
you know kind of deepmeditation as a group and my
future self said you have tojump.
If you want this life, you haveto jump.
And so I and every and like Ijust had that flashback to that
(09:58):
episode this last week and Iheard the voice jump You're, you
have to jump.
And I'm like okay, this is ajump for me, this is a jump
Right, and I don't know if it'sthe end jump right.
There could be many other youknow things that I have to.
I have to keep jumping, but forright now it's where I'm
supposed to be and I know that,um, even when it feels
(10:19):
uncomfortable and feels like Iwant to go back, you know yeah,
no for sure.
I think so, yeah, so that's been.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I think we all have to get comfortable being
uncomfortable.
Um, yes, for sure.
Funny because I just gave areading um earlier this week to
somebody and that was somethingthat came up of getting
comfortable being uncomfortableIf you want change in your life.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
So, yep, it's hard.
Yeah, it's definitely becauseyou know I could have been comfy
in my job for ever, really tobe honest.
So, yeah, that's a big, bigthing that I've been navigating
and yeah, so pass it on toMarlena.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
And yeah, so pass it on to Marlena.
You're up next, come on down.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
No, I really don't want to.
I've been doing a lot of workon myself.
There have been speaking ofroadblocks and things like that,
a lot of that and so, becauseof manifestations and things
that I've been working on, thoseblocks have been coming into
play and I've been having towork through those and dealing
(11:26):
with some of my not so greatqualities, you know, and kind of
working through that but alsorecognizing that there's been so
much, I mean in my personallife, in my work life, and just
so much going on.
But one of the things that I'vebeen trying to do in business
is managing with more compassionand empathy and stuff like that
(11:49):
.
But I think I leaned way toomuch into that and so now I'm
trying to find that balance ofbeing not aggressive but stern.
Now I'm trying to find thatbalance of being not aggressive
but stern, you know, while stillbeing compassionate and just
trying to find that balance.
And so you know, I've just beenreally working on balance and
me and certain blocks, and it'sbeen very difficult.
(12:11):
I've also went through a phaseof, yeah, fuck the spirituality
shit, I'm fucking done with allof it.
And you know I'm like I'm justgoing to go be an irresponsible,
human and you know, do what Iwant to do and that's like the
rebellious side of me.
But then all of a sudden, youknow, I find myself still making
good decisions, and you know,and trying to be a good human
(12:34):
and I'm like this fucking sucks.
I'm all trying to be a goodhuman and I'm like this fucking
sucks.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
I'm all trying to be rebellious and shit, and it's
not working and the goodnesskeeps creeping back in.
Damn you, son of a bitch.
So much easier just to be arebel than all this good human
shit, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Yeah, so, yeah.
So then you know, then I haveto work through that and I'm
like why can't I just be a badperson?
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Oh, because you have such a good heart, I'm like I
just want to regress.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
I want to go back to being that person because it
made things easier.
It made things easier when Ididn't care about what the
consequences were going to be,or you know.
Whatever you know, I didn'tgive a fuck about karma.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Yeah.
Yeah, so that's kind of I feltI've, I felt similar, Like, like
I haven't done a ton ofspiritual things.
I mean, I I've had biggerthings not bigger things, but
big things on my plate, right,so there's not a ton of extra
room for that.
But I was like, oh, maybe Icould just scrap it all, just
(13:40):
like, and I'm like, and thenlike the next day I'm like what
the fuck are you talking about?
You can't scrap it all.
Like you can't know what youknow.
You've come too far.
Like what are you talking about?
There's still so much more tolearn.
Like you know you're, you'rehere, for the long haul, so get
used to it.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Yeah, exactly, but I have been doing a lot more tarot
readings for people that arejust not like my best friend or,
you know, those that are reallyclose to me, so, which is a
scary thing for me.
That has always been tough forme because I'm like I'm a
perfectionist and what if Idon't get it right, and you know
(14:19):
, and so kind of listening towhat is and I say listen, but
you know I'm listening to whatI'm being told, or feeling what
I'm feeling, and just like wordvomiting it out versus holding
it in and trying to think aboutit and say the right thing.
I'm like I don't know if thisfucking makes sense, but and you
know, it's like, oh my God.
(14:39):
So I've been doing that a lotmore lately.
In our episode with Kate VanHorn, I talked about how I was
going to be doing tarot readingsat my work retreat, so ended up
doing that, which that for me,was scary as well.
It was, you know, again, beinggetting comfortable, being
uncomfortable.
I was very uncomfortable withthat because I was taking, you
(15:01):
know, something very personal tome to something very
professional, you know, like mypersonal life and my
professional life and andmelding those together.
Um, but it was actually a lotof fun and it felt really good
to allow people to see me.
It felt really good to allowpeople to see me and to be able
(15:24):
to, you know, not wear a mask oranything and be like, okay,
well, this is who I am, and youknow.
And so that was.
It was scary, but it was, it wasempowering.
So, yeah, that is a plus.
And then one of the things thatVince and I have gotten back
into doing is, every day, we tryand find our highlight of the
day, and so we discussed that atdinner, and so you know, like,
(15:46):
I guess why I bring that up isbecause over the last few months
, it's been really, reallytrying for me.
But that has been my highlightof this time of working on
myself is, you know, I was ableto just really be myself and let
people see a part of me that Imaybe don't necessarily show,
(16:08):
right, yeah, so that was, yeah,that was fun and we talked about
this not on the show, obviously, but just in chit chat.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
This not on the show, obviously, but just in chit
chat.
And I'm just so proud of youbecause, again, you're doing
these readings and you'restarting to come out and be a
little more like, okay, I can dothis.
You're stepping out of yourcomfort zone.
You're reading people who arecoworkers or maybe a friend.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
You know, it's not me , it's not Christy, it's not you
know for yourself, so it's Ican't read myself anyway
(16:58):
no-transcript card of what Ihave to work on with me, and so,
yeah, it's been really good.
So I'm laughing because I'mremembering our conversation.
We just recently interviewed aguest this morning.
Oh yeah, the entire time I wasseeing the aura of this person
(17:20):
and going what the hell is goingon?
I've had a migraine for thelast couple of days, and so I
was talking with my mom and Iwas like I wonder if this is
like bringing up, if it's morespiritual than me just being
stressed out from work orwhatever.
It is my hormones or maybe acombination of all of that.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
But but yeah, so Can you still see our auras?
We were just talking.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I'm like, yeah, no, I'm just nonstop seeing like
colors around everybody and I'mlike, and I'm, my migraines are
normally like ocular migraineswhere I'm able to, you know, and
so I'm like, is it the migraine?
And I was like I meanines whereI'm able to, you know, and so
I'm like, is it the migraine?
And I was like I mean, I hope Idon't walk around and just see
colors all over the place, butwell, maybe I do, I don't know.
(18:06):
Yeah, I'm just going to rollwith it.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Me and guys are jealous that we can't see it.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Well, do you want this?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
headache, that goes along with it.
No, I've had.
No, I've had plenty of clusterheadaches.
They're not fun.
I'll pass on that.
Yeah, I mean last night and Iwas laughing so hard with my mom
because my dad was such ahypochondriac, and so yesterday,
like my eyes start stroopingand I'm like, uh, freaking out,
thinking I'm having a stroke,because WebMD told me I was
having a stroke but Mayo Clinictold me I was having a cluster
headache.
And then now that I'm seeingthese colors, I'm like maybe
(18:46):
it's more spiritual Absolutely,am I still a white yellowish?
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Yeah, does it stay the same?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
color or the auras change right, yeah, but right
now that's what I'm seeingaround you.
But I'm also seeing like I feellike I'm on acid, because every
time someone moves like I seetracks because of the colors
that are like following me also.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
And it's been a long time since I've been on acid.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
I mean I think I was 16.
So you're quite certain it'snot acid was 16.
So you're quite certain it'snot acid.
Pretty sure it's not acid.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Maybe I should drop acid?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
That's funny, I don't know, that's funny.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Are we going to record it?
No, she can't.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Oh, it could be a YouTube one so you can actually
see the video.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
What's funny was when I took acid.
When I dropped acid, I was 16and I knew nothing about it, and
my friends were like, let's dothis.
I'm like okay, Not knowing thatI would be up all night and I
had a softball tournament thenext day.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
So I was like, and so then they tell me.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
And so then I ended up having this horrible trip
because like the sky's facemorphed into the devil and like
the walls were closing in on meand I was feeling claustrophobic
and everything and so but itwas just yeah, and so then I
ended up going for a run in themiddle of the night and I ended
up running like five miles and Iwas like I never run five miles
, like so then, you know, cometime my dad comes, picks me up
(20:19):
so that I could get ready forthe softball game, I'm like I am
fucked up, like how am I goingto play this game?
And so I'm like playingshortstop and balls are coming
at me and I'm like I don't knowwhat the fuck's going to happen
here.
So I was like you know, Ididn't get much sleep last night
.
Can I just hit?
So my coach pulled me out and Iwas just hitting but man, I went
(20:40):
four for four because of thetracks.
I was able to see when theywere like throwing a curveball
or a rise Advantage.
I probably had one of my besthitting games that game, that's
funny.
But then I had to run and I waslike I just ran five miles,
like in the middle of the night.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Am I going?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
fast.
I feel like I'm going fast, butam I going fast?
Speaker 2 (21:08):
So, needless to say, I never dropped acid after that.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
No, there's that.
That's the lesson of the story.
Yes, no more acid.
No more after that.
That was like a fun littletangent.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Yeah, that's what we do on the show.
So, jamie, it's Jamie's turn.
Now we're bringing it back.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Thank, you, you're welcome.
Wow, the last few months, um, Ihave been I mean, I've talked
about it before my practices andthings as far as my
spirituality and enlightenmentand all that is inconsistent at
best at times, but ever since wehad Kirsten Leo on the show
(21:49):
from the Light Path Collective,I did sign up for her membership
, her moon membership, and I'vereally enjoyed that.
So I've been trying and I don'tdo it as consistent as I should
, because you know she does hertwo releases every month with
the full moon and then the newmoon, and then the meditation
and the workbook and everything.
(22:10):
It's absolutely fascinating.
I recommend it to anyone whowants to learn more about the
moon energy and things that wecan do to manifest and release.
And it's a very affordablemonthly membership, by the way.
So nice little plug there forKirsten, but she's been amazing.
And when I have done thebecause she'll do a guided
(22:33):
meditation and then, like I said, a workbookbook when I've done
all the things these couple oftimes a month, I really do feel
the moon energy working.
If you will, with my releases,with my manifestations or
setting intentions, I guess Ishould say it really does help
and has brought a lot of clarity.
(22:55):
I recently went through one, Iwant to say, last month, with
the last full moon, and I didn'tdo all the practices, I didn't
do like go through all theworkbook and everything, but I
did write down what I felt Ineeded to release, and these
were big ones for me.
They were it was like seventhings that I listed first,
things that came to mind that Ifelt like were holding me back
(23:17):
in certain areas in my life, andit was really intense because I
went to bed with that, wrotethem down, you know, telling
myself in my head I releasedthis, I'm releasing this, you
know I need to work on releasingthis.
And then in the next few nights, these situations replayed in
my dreams.
So, and every night was adifferent one, and I had
(23:45):
messaged Kirsten because I'mlike, oh my God, like this.
This is really interesting.
Because I didn't look at it likeOK, this is your subconscious
and your dream coming at yousaying look at, look at how you
feel.
You know this is, this is yourlife, or whatever.
I looked at it like it was myuniverse, my subconscious,
saying this is what you, youfear and this is not your
reality, like it's okay to letit go, Let it go.
(24:09):
That's how I interpreted it.
So I messaged Kirsten and she'slike you are not only releasing
it in the physical world.
By doing your release with, youknow, the moon, energy or
anything you're actually workingon, you're subconsciously
actually releasing it, which islike double the good.
I don't know, but like for thefirst time ever, I really feel
(24:32):
like these negative thoughts andtheories I've had of my life,
and they tend to focus around mymarriage, my self-worth, who I
am as a mother, a friend, adaughter, those insecurities
that are really holding me backfrom being who I know I can be,
(24:57):
because, not really holding meback from being that person, but
feeling like these things arekeeping me from being the full
person I know I can be.
These doubts, they're just evenin my fitness right, like in my
health journey.
Why, you know, come on, youknow you can do this Like why
(25:18):
are you holding yourself back?
Just laziness, what is it like?
What's going on?
And ever since these things werebeing released, like I said,
they're replayed in my dreamsevery night.
And God, there was some realserious revelations in these
dreams too, because I've haddreams like this before and I've
looked at the people in thescenarios.
Why this person, why is thisperson in my dream has nothing
(25:42):
to do with, you know, my husbandnow and my life now.
Why does this keep popping up?
And it really made me realizethat.
That was the moment when Istarted feeling like, okay,
maybe this is a problem, maybemy life won't always be good,
because this could happen again,you know.
So it's been a really powerfulmonth in that sense for me in
(26:07):
trying to truly release thesenegative blocks and I really
feel like this time it'shappening, you know, it's really
presenting itself and sayingit's time Like, yeah, you got to
do this.
So that's been as far as myspiritual journey has been
(26:27):
really crazy lately, but good,but good.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Other than that, yeah , I find it interesting that
we're all working on.
You know, our limiting beliefs,yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
And I was going to like chime in.
It's funny, I haven't beenworking, you know, I haven't
been working with the moon orthings like that, but I just
started.
I want to say, a couple ofmonths ago I was chatting with a
friend of mine and she's, youknow, telling me she's talking
me up, she's totally, you know,you're brilliant, you're amazing
, you know all the things.
And I'm like, huh, sure, okay,hey, whatever.
And so, like you know, I hangup the phone and then, you know,
(27:08):
a couple of days later, myhusband is, you know, doing the
same thing and he's, you know,saying, you know, I wish you
could.
He said to me, I wish you couldsee yourself the way that I see
you.
And it just really that hit andI started thinking about it and
I'm like I need to see myselfthe way that they see me,
because if I saw myself that way, I feel like I would unlock so
(27:31):
many things, like it would right, because the self-confidence,
the self-doubt, like that, Iwould eliminate that because
they don't see that in me, youknow.
And so I really every time,every day, since then then I've
been feeling kind of like, orlike just kind of down.
I'm like, no, how does he seeyou?
How does your friends see you?
How do they see you?
(27:52):
They see you as this and youand I'm not saying you take
everything you know, but like,but I, the things that I
identify with, I'm like, yeah, Iam bad-ass.
Okay, so I'm bad-ass, I there's,I don't need to question that.
Like, I need to feel it.
Other people see it.
I need to feel it and it's beena change, it's been a shift in
(28:15):
just the way that I'm movingthrough the world, trying to
just absorb what people see ofme and how they perceive me and
take that, you know, take thegood things.
Obviously.
I'm not saying take the shittythings, but yeah, I mean it can,
and it can really just changehow things are progressing and
moving forward.
Yeah, it's.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
It's opened me up a lot more in accepting this
beautiful life I've been givenand I've worked hard for two.
I do take some credit here,obviously, but it's like I said
a lot of it and I won't go intoall the points.
But a big one for me wasself-worth and we've talked
(28:57):
about this before where I feellike I limit myself, I don't
deserve more, I have enough, Idon't need more, I'm fine.
My husband deserves you knowbetter.
How did I get so lucky to getthis guy Like no, I'm, I'm good
for is lucky too, you know, andthis is okay.
So I will talk about this one.
(29:18):
So this was one of the things Itried to release was, um, the
feeling of worthiness in thismarriage and that it will be
(29:38):
okay.
Um, wow, this can get you knowreally deep.
But the dream that came to mewas a past relationship that I
thought, you know we were goingto get married and everything.
I mean, you know we wereengaged and it ended.
And I think that just stuckwith me because I mean, that was
the moment, that's what wasreplaying, and it wasn't the
(29:59):
exact person, but it wasn'tdefinitely my husband, but it
definitely looked like theformer fiance.
And I remember waking up thatmorning and I just sat with it
and I said you're telling melike it's time to let it go.
Not every relationship is goingto be like the relationship
before.
This husband plans on stickingaround, like it's OK, just
(30:22):
accept it and be in it and don'tworry about you know what if
and if this happens.
And it was just so eye openingfor me because my subconscious,
my universe, whatever you wantto say, brought me this story to
say look, look at it, sit in it, realize what you're looking at
(30:44):
and where it started, and nowit's time to let it go.
I think it's really made mefeel more at peace with myself.
Yeah, and not that I never not.
It's hard to say, it's not thatI don't feel secure in our
relationship, it's just my owninsecurities of past
relationships, right.
It's just my own insecuritiesof past relationships, right.
(31:05):
So it has made me feel closerto my husband than ever before,
because I think I'm finallybringing that wall down of worry
.
So that's just.
That's just one of them.
And it was very interesting howit was presented to me, like
this is where it started andthis is why.
Because I would havereoccurring dreams with this
person, like why do I keep goingback to this?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Why?
Yeah, I hate having reoccurringdreams of my ex-husband, but I
know why it keeps coming up, anda lot of it has to do with
accountability for me, becauseI've always been so quick to
blame my ex for our relationshipfalling apart and whatnot.
(31:50):
But I have a lot of stuff thatwas my fault as well, and lately
a lot of what I've been workingon is accountability
Accountability in my ownrelationship with my finances.
But yeah, when my ex-husbandshows up in my dream
relationship with my financeswith you, know and so but yeah,
when my ex-husband shows up inmy dream, I'm like dude, fuck
(32:11):
you.
And.
I get angry, but then I'm likeokay, but I know what this is
about.
And yeah, yeah, and then I getall yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
And I definitely you know it was.
It was both of us too.
I mean it was both of us too,and we both have wonderful,
amazing families and a life.
And if things didn't happen theway they did, who knows?
So now, as an adult, you know,I'm definitely not like pissed
over it or, you know, upset it.
(32:42):
We're still good friends, youknow I mean.
But whenever I'd have thesedreams it's like why do you keep
bringing me back to?
this and this last month withthis release and trying to truly
work on that.
I think it was like.
This is why.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Well, I'm glad you were able to figure that out.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
Yeah, yeah.
So anyways, I've been writingthese things down as they popped
up and I think I listed likeseven things and about four or
five of them came up in mydreams again and I was like,
okay, all right, so there's that.
Other than I mean, life hasbeen life.
Kids growing up Uh, our sonjust went to junior prom with
(33:17):
one of his best friends and thatwas an experience in itself.
I think I walked away from thatLike truly.
It was like my first, like ohmy God, he's like going to proms
now, like this is, this is someshit.
Like I I emotionally couldn'thandle it Once we dropped the
kids off and we're driving away.
That's when I had, like it hitme like oh God, like Marlena
(33:42):
knows her I don't know ifChristy ever met Nicole, but
yeah, we were pregnant togetherLike these, these two kids like
literally are best friends andoh my God, now to see them
walking off to prom, it's likefucking kidding me, like just
this realization of damn.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Yeah, but what a moment.
That was because you and Nicolewere pregnant together.
Hi, nicole, shout out to Nicole, but you guys were pregnant
together and you know, the kidsgrew up together and even you,
moving away, come and visit oryou know vice versa, and stuff
like that.
And even during the summers shewill come out, yeah, and then
(34:23):
to see them go to prom togetheras best friends, yeah, as let's
clarify Truly as best friends,just friends.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Yeah, I I think in the last year I've really
realized how precious myfriendships are Back home.
I've made some wonderfulfriends out here and some that
I've gotten to be really closeto, and I am so grateful for
that because I need it.
I need it.
I'm the person that's theextrovert in this relationship,
that needs those connections tofeel at home.
(34:53):
But when I go home and I getthe time with Marlena, christy,
if we're, you know, we ever, thethree of us get together, I
mean it's just fantastic.
I have my, my CrossFit groupthat you know we did that race
together, like Nicole, you knowD's like there's just these
moments that I just cannot likeeven put words into them how
(35:16):
much they mean to me.
I mean I come home and I'm justso filled with love and I miss
you all so much.
And when I get those moments Itreasure them wholeheartedly.
And that was one of thoseweekends.
It was like I just walked awayfrom it going, my God, like I'm
just so grateful for the closeknit group I have and I miss
(35:38):
them dearly.
But it makes the experiencesthat I get even more special.
So, yeah, yeah, it's a God.
Okay, yeah, I'm long-winded,but that's been my, my last few
months.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
Well, I I guess we can wrap it up.
Um, yeah, Thank you forlistening to our little life
updates and for listening everyepisode.
To be honest, we reallyappreciate your support.
If you wouldn't be so kind asto like and maybe subscribe
wherever you listen to thispodcast, we would be ever so
(36:19):
grateful.
And go to wmfpodcom to searchpast episodes and interact with
us, and we will see you on thenext episode.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Yeah, Go read some of those books I don't want to do
a book report.
Don't make me Thank you.
Hi, welcome to A Witch, a Mystic and A Feminist.
It is Jamie Marlena and me.
Just the three of us today, andwe are thrilled because we are
going to take this episodewherever it goes.
So buckle up.
We have no plans, but you knowwhat?
Usually that's where the bestcontent comes from.
So buckle up.
We have no plans, but you knowwhat?
Usually that's where the bestcontent comes from.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
So I'm excited, but apparently we're full of really
really good advice, so we are.
You might get a piece of thattoday, just saying yes, maybe.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yeah, and you know, prior to starting this recording
we were talking about books andreading because you know, for
the podcast we actually have toread quite a bit lately for the
guests that we've had on.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
We've had a number of authors on the show?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Yeah, yeah, and so you know, and while I do love
reading their books and justlike learning, we were
discussing how we can't waituntil we just have like a
fiction, just just like a beachread, a vacation read, where we
can just like just loseourselves in it.
Um, so I'm very excited forthat time.
I don't know when that timewill come for me, but Marlena is
(01:12):
almost there.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
And I have a book that has nothing to do with the
podcast.
It has nothing to do.
It has nothing to do withspirituality.
How thick is that?
Speaker 3 (01:23):
That's a big book.
Maybe I don't want that book.
Yes, I don't know.
Yeah.
That's a lot of pages, no, if Idon't Well, and If I can
actually like, yeah, no, it'snot that many Like get through
this without you know.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
reading it the way I like to read, I could probably
get through the 400 pages in afew days.
So, um, also, I can't sleep ona plane, so I may just be
reading the entire time, exceptthe flight home.
That's when I pass out.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
That is when I do.
The most of my reading is onthe plane, Cause everyone else
can sleep, which is annoying andI can't so we were just
discussing that.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
I am such an avid book reader in air quotes you
can get.
You can't see that I love whenI get into a good book, a good
book that I just can't put down.
But for me to start it andstick with it, it has to get me
from the very beginning, and Ilove the idea of reading, but it
doesn't happen for me.
I will walk around this housecarrying a book that I plan on
(02:21):
reading everywhere I sit,Because as soon as I sit I'm
going to read that book.
Or every time I'm on a flight,you should look at my books.
My bookmarks are my boardingpasses and some books have like
five of them in there, becausethe books go with me but they
never get opened.
So I have good intentions ofreading.
(02:43):
Yes, and my mom is an avid bookreader.
I mean now, especially as she'sretired, she reads two, three
books a month.
I mean she just goes to them.
So when I go to her house she'slike take this one, take this
one, oh, this one's really good,you know, and I do, and then
they just sit.
So that's on my list.
So, jamie, she's a collector ofbooks at the moment I'm a
(03:03):
collector of books.
Yes, so I'm going to write thisrecommendation down because,
again, I'll probably order it onAmazon and I'll carry it around
the house and hopefully I'llread it.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Well, I'll read it and then I'll ship it to you.
There you go.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
There we go, or the next time.
I see you next time.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I'm in Vegas, I'll bring it with me and just hand
it to you.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Yeah, there we go, and then we'll see how many
boarding passes.
I can collect, because that'swhat I do.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I like that.
What I do, no, but I mean I dolove reading the books that we
have for our guests, because andthank goodness they're good
books because if I have to reada crappy book I'm going to be so
pissed off, Like if I have toread a crappy book I'm going to
be so pissed off, Like if I haveto read a crappy book.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Yeah, I have to.
I have to read a crappy book.
I feel like I'm in school again.
God, I got to read this thing,yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, yeah, we've been lucky.
So far.
We haven't had those books, sothank you to the authors.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Shout out to our guests who wrote books.
They've been great, they havereally enjoyed them.
Thank you for keeping usentertained.
So what's been going on, ladies?
I feel like we've had guestsand guests and they've been
fantastic, but hasn't been usthree and a hot minute, so
that's kind of nice, it's notbeen.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, I've missed you guys.
Good, I know Same.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
We'll start with Christy, oh we're just jumping
in what's been going on, what's?
Speaker 1 (04:29):
happening, um, oh gosh, okay.
So, um, I mentioned on someformer episode that I had kind
of manifested an opportunity, ajob opportunity, or I I not kind
of I'm going to take.
I'm going to reword this.
I had manifested a jobopportunity, um, back in August
of last year, and it looked likeit was going to fall apart in
(04:55):
December.
To me, it fell apart and so Iwas operating as, okay, this
isn't, this isn't it right, thisisn't the opportunity, and
suddenly it came all backtogether in December and was a
very quick.
Quick had to be a quickdecision and had to think
through it quickly, which I amnot a person who likes to
(05:18):
operate on quick changes.
I need my time, I need to plan,I need to, I need to list it
out, I need to pro con that shit.
So I did all that within acouple of days, which is like
unheard of for me, and I left myjob of 10 years and went out,
kind of not on my own, butthat's the plan, right.
(05:38):
So this opportunity is big andscary and I've been in it now
for couple months, a few months,and, uh, it is what I
manifested it to be.
I think if I had been morespecific in my manifestation so
I want to talk about that Likeyou know, I, man, I was really
calling out for financialsecurity, stability, right,
(05:59):
security, like just somethingthat was going to secure our
futures and the future of myfamily.
And you know, I wasn't specificabout the job, I wasn't
specific about the industry, Iwasn't specific about any of
that, right.
So, whereas I could have, Iprobably could have said, oh, I
really want to be an author,like, really best sell, you know
, like, and that's what I want.
My, you know, I could have beenvery specific, but I wasn't.
(06:21):
And so it's in my, my careerpath, it's in my, you know, like
it's, it's, it's all alignedwith that and it is hard.
It is hard, I will say it's noteasy, and so I don't know if I,
I don't know if I expected itto be easy.
I just I don't know.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I'm going to go into this a little bit yeah, I think
that when people manifest, um,they do have that misconception
that it is going to be easybecause you know, yeah, this is
what I wanted, so I'm gonna getexactly what I wanted, I'm going
to be happy, everything's goingto be easy.
What people don't reallyrealize is when you're
manifesting really realize iswhen you're manifesting, we as
(07:04):
humans, we have these blocks inourselves.
You know, we're eitherself-sabotaging or we have
limiting beliefs, whatever it is, and so the universe is going
to give you what you want, butthey're also going to give you
these tests or whatever to helpyou work through those blocks,
(07:24):
those limiting beliefs, and so Idon't think it's always going
to be exactly what you wantuntil you've worked through all
of that shit.
You have some childhood traumaor whatever it is programming,
whatever it is that you havethat's blocking you.
You have to work through thoseblocks to be able to get to
(07:46):
exactly where you want to be inthat manifestation, if that
makes sense.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Yeah, that makes sense.
It gives you growth, yeah, andyou know, it forces growth
because you have to work throughthe problems.
Yeah, and I will be honest, thefirst couple of weeks I was
like what the fuck did I do?
I left my like, I left thiscushy job, this corporate job,
and I had to decide if I wasgoing to be in this new
(08:11):
opportunity a hundred percentand give it my all, or not.
Right, because it was it.
It wasn't going to work if Iwasn't going to give everything
to this opportunity.
And I asked for it Like I, Iwanted this right, so I had to
change my attitude.
And so I I, you know for thefirst couple of weeks I was go
(08:32):
in and I'd be like this issomething bigger, this is
growing, this is going to growinto something bigger.
This is going to be what youwant it to be.
You have the opportunity tomake it.
It's your opportunity right.
Like you're not going into workbecause you have to.
You have chosen this, like youhave chosen this opportunity.
And the minute that I changedthat mindset, everything kind of
changed.
(08:53):
And not that I don't regress,because there's days when I'm
like, oh wait, what the fuck?
And then I'm like, nope, I gotto check myself, right, I got to
check myself.
And when I do, everythingshifts, everything changes, um,
and so it has been.
It has been hard, it's beenhard work, it's going to be hard
work, it's going to be growth.
It's going to be uncomfortable.
(09:13):
You know, like when you're in ajob for a long time, you kind
of can do it in your sleepSometimes.
You know you don't have toreally think about it, that's
not where I am anymore.
And so you know that's reallyuncomfortable and I'm like
that's really kind of just like.
Oh, man, I want to be back inthat comfy blanket.
I just want to be like that wasnice, that was real nice, uh.
But you know, eventually I'llget there again.
(09:34):
I'll, I'll, I will and I'll beable to make this exactly what I
want it to be.
And really I'm operating off ofwhen we did the hypnosis or the
you know kind of deepmeditation as a group and my
future self said you have tojump.
If you want this life, you haveto jump.
And so I and every and like Ijust had that flashback to that
(09:58):
episode this last week and Iheard the voice jump You're, you
have to jump.
And I'm like okay, this is ajump for me, this is a jump
Right, and I don't know if it'sthe end jump right.
There could be many other youknow things that I have to.
I have to keep jumping, but forright now it's where I'm
supposed to be and I know that,um, even when it feels
(10:19):
uncomfortable and feels like Iwant to go back, you know yeah,
no for sure.
I think so, yeah, so that's been.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I think we all have to get comfortable being
uncomfortable.
Um, yes, for sure.
Funny because I just gave areading um earlier this week to
somebody and that was somethingthat came up of getting
comfortable being uncomfortableIf you want change in your life.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
So, yep, it's hard.
Yeah, it's definitely becauseyou know I could have been comfy
in my job for ever, really tobe honest.
So, yeah, that's a big, bigthing that I've been navigating
and yeah, so pass it on toMarlena.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
And yeah, so pass it on to Marlena.
You're up next, come on down.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
No, I really don't want to.
I've been doing a lot of workon myself.
There have been speaking ofroadblocks and things like that,
a lot of that and so, becauseof manifestations and things
that I've been working on, thoseblocks have been coming into
play and I've been having towork through those and dealing
(11:26):
with some of my not so greatqualities, you know, and kind of
working through that but alsorecognizing that there's been so
much, I mean in my personallife, in my work life, and just
so much going on.
But one of the things that I'vebeen trying to do in business
is managing with more compassionand empathy and stuff like that
(11:49):
.
But I think I leaned way toomuch into that and so now I'm
trying to find that balance ofbeing not aggressive but stern.
Now I'm trying to find thatbalance of being not aggressive
but stern, you know, while stillbeing compassionate and just
trying to find that balance.
And so you know, I've just beenreally working on balance and
me and certain blocks, and it'sbeen very difficult.
(12:11):
I've also went through a phaseof, yeah, fuck the spirituality
shit, I'm fucking done with allof it.
And you know I'm like I'm justgoing to go be an irresponsible,
human and you know, do what Iwant to do and that's like the
rebellious side of me.
But then all of a sudden, youknow, I find myself still making
good decisions, and you know,and trying to be a good human
(12:34):
and I'm like this fucking sucks.
I'm all trying to be a goodhuman and I'm like this fucking
sucks.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
I'm all trying to be rebellious and shit, and it's
not working and the goodnesskeeps creeping back in.
Damn you, son of a bitch.
So much easier just to be arebel than all this good human
shit, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Yeah, so, yeah.
So then you know, then I haveto work through that and I'm
like why can't I just be a badperson?
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Oh, because you have such a good heart, I'm like I
just want to regress.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
I want to go back to being that person because it
made things easier.
It made things easier when Ididn't care about what the
consequences were going to be,or you know.
Whatever you know, I didn'tgive a fuck about karma.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Yeah.
Yeah, so that's kind of I feltI've, I felt similar, Like, like
I haven't done a ton ofspiritual things.
I mean, I I've had biggerthings not bigger things, but
big things on my plate, right,so there's not a ton of extra
room for that.
But I was like, oh, maybe Icould just scrap it all, just
(13:40):
like, and I'm like, and thenlike the next day I'm like what
the fuck are you talking about?
You can't scrap it all.
Like you can't know what youknow.
You've come too far.
Like what are you talking about?
There's still so much more tolearn.
Like you know you're, you'rehere, for the long haul, so get
used to it.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Yeah, exactly, but I have been doing a lot more tarot
readings for people that arejust not like my best friend or,
you know, those that are reallyclose to me, so, which is a
scary thing for me.
That has always been tough forme because I'm like I'm a
perfectionist and what if Idon't get it right, and you know
(14:19):
, and so kind of listening towhat is and I say listen, but
you know I'm listening to whatI'm being told, or feeling what
I'm feeling, and just like wordvomiting it out versus holding
it in and trying to think aboutit and say the right thing.
I'm like I don't know if thisfucking makes sense, but and you
know, it's like, oh my God.
(14:39):
So I've been doing that a lotmore lately.
In our episode with Kate VanHorn, I talked about how I was
going to be doing tarot readingsat my work retreat, so ended up
doing that, which that for me,was scary as well.
It was, you know, again, beinggetting comfortable, being
uncomfortable.
I was very uncomfortable withthat because I was taking, you
(15:01):
know, something very personal tome to something very
professional, you know, like mypersonal life and my
professional life and andmelding those together.
Um, but it was actually a lotof fun and it felt really good
to allow people to see me.
It felt really good to allowpeople to see me and to be able
(15:24):
to, you know, not wear a mask oranything and be like, okay,
well, this is who I am, and youknow.
And so that was.
It was scary, but it was, it wasempowering.
So, yeah, that is a plus.
And then one of the things thatVince and I have gotten back
into doing is, every day, we tryand find our highlight of the
day, and so we discussed that atdinner, and so you know, like,
(15:46):
I guess why I bring that up isbecause over the last few months
, it's been really, reallytrying for me.
But that has been my highlightof this time of working on
myself is, you know, I was ableto just really be myself and let
people see a part of me that Imaybe don't necessarily show,
(16:08):
right, yeah, so that was, yeah,that was fun and we talked about
this not on the show, obviously, but just in chit chat.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
This not on the show, obviously, but just in chit
chat.
And I'm just so proud of youbecause, again, you're doing
these readings and you'restarting to come out and be a
little more like, okay, I can dothis.
You're stepping out of yourcomfort zone.
You're reading people who arecoworkers or maybe a friend.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
You know, it's not me , it's not Christy, it's not you
know for yourself, so it's Ican't read myself anyway
(16:58):
no-transcript card of what Ihave to work on with me, and so,
yeah, it's been really good.
So I'm laughing because I'mremembering our conversation.
We just recently interviewed aguest this morning.
Oh yeah, the entire time I wasseeing the aura of this person
(17:20):
and going what the hell is goingon?
I've had a migraine for thelast couple of days, and so I
was talking with my mom and Iwas like I wonder if this is
like bringing up, if it's morespiritual than me just being
stressed out from work orwhatever.
It is my hormones or maybe acombination of all of that.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
But but yeah, so Can you still see our auras?
We were just talking.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I'm like, yeah, no, I'm just nonstop seeing like
colors around everybody and I'mlike, and I'm, my migraines are
normally like ocular migraineswhere I'm able to, you know, and
so I'm like, is it the migraine?
And I was like I meanines whereI'm able to, you know, and so
I'm like, is it the migraine?
And I was like I mean, I hope Idon't walk around and just see
colors all over the place, butwell, maybe I do, I don't know.
(18:06):
Yeah, I'm just going to rollwith it.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
Me and guys are jealous that we can't see it.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Well, do you want this?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
headache, that goes along with it.
No, I've had.
No, I've had plenty of clusterheadaches.
They're not fun.
I'll pass on that.
Yeah, I mean last night and Iwas laughing so hard with my mom
because my dad was such ahypochondriac, and so yesterday,
like my eyes start stroopingand I'm like, uh, freaking out,
thinking I'm having a stroke,because WebMD told me I was
having a stroke but Mayo Clinictold me I was having a cluster
headache.
And then now that I'm seeingthese colors, I'm like maybe
(18:46):
it's more spiritual Absolutely,am I still a white yellowish?
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Yeah, does it stay the same?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
color or the auras change right, yeah, but right
now that's what I'm seeingaround you.
But I'm also seeing like I feellike I'm on acid, because every
time someone moves like I seetracks because of the colors
that are like following me also.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
And it's been a long time since I've been on acid.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
I mean I think I was 16.
So you're quite certain it'snot acid was 16.
So you're quite certain it'snot acid.
Pretty sure it's not acid.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Maybe I should drop acid?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
That's funny, I don't know, that's funny.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Are we going to record it?
No, she can't.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Oh, it could be a YouTube one so you can actually
see the video.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
What's funny was when I took acid.
When I dropped acid, I was 16and I knew nothing about it, and
my friends were like, let's dothis.
I'm like okay, Not knowing thatI would be up all night and I
had a softball tournament thenext day.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
So I was like, and so then they tell me.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
And so then I ended up having this horrible trip
because like the sky's facemorphed into the devil and like
the walls were closing in on meand I was feeling claustrophobic
and everything and so but itwas just yeah, and so then I
ended up going for a run in themiddle of the night and I ended
up running like five miles and Iwas like I never run five miles
, like so then, you know, cometime my dad comes, picks me up
(20:19):
so that I could get ready forthe softball game, I'm like I am
fucked up, like how am I goingto play this game?
And so I'm like playingshortstop and balls are coming
at me and I'm like I don't knowwhat the fuck's going to happen
here.
So I was like you know, Ididn't get much sleep last night
.
Can I just hit?
So my coach pulled me out and Iwas just hitting but man, I went
(20:40):
four for four because of thetracks.
I was able to see when theywere like throwing a curveball
or a rise Advantage.
I probably had one of my besthitting games that game, that's
funny.
But then I had to run and I waslike I just ran five miles,
like in the middle of the night.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Am I going?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
fast.
I feel like I'm going fast, butam I going fast?
Speaker 2 (21:08):
So, needless to say, I never dropped acid after that.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
No, there's that.
That's the lesson of the story.
Yes, no more acid.
No more after that.
That was like a fun littletangent.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Yeah, that's what we do on the show.
So, jamie, it's Jamie's turn.
Now we're bringing it back.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Thank, you, you're welcome.
Wow, the last few months, um, Ihave been I mean, I've talked
about it before my practices andthings as far as my
spirituality and enlightenmentand all that is inconsistent at
best at times, but ever since wehad Kirsten Leo on the show
(21:49):
from the Light Path Collective,I did sign up for her membership
, her moon membership, and I'vereally enjoyed that.
So I've been trying and I don'tdo it as consistent as I should
, because you know she does hertwo releases every month with
the full moon and then the newmoon, and then the meditation
and the workbook and everything.
(22:10):
It's absolutely fascinating.
I recommend it to anyone whowants to learn more about the
moon energy and things that wecan do to manifest and release.
And it's a very affordablemonthly membership, by the way.
So nice little plug there forKirsten, but she's been amazing.
And when I have done thebecause she'll do a guided
(22:33):
meditation and then, like I said, a workbookbook when I've done
all the things these couple oftimes a month, I really do feel
the moon energy working.
If you will, with my releases,with my manifestations or
setting intentions, I guess Ishould say it really does help
and has brought a lot of clarity.
(22:55):
I recently went through one, Iwant to say, last month, with
the last full moon, and I didn'tdo all the practices, I didn't
do like go through all theworkbook and everything, but I
did write down what I felt Ineeded to release, and these
were big ones for me.
They were it was like seventhings that I listed first,
things that came to mind that Ifelt like were holding me back
(23:17):
in certain areas in my life, andit was really intense because I
went to bed with that, wrotethem down, you know, telling
myself in my head I releasedthis, I'm releasing this, you
know I need to work on releasingthis.
And then in the next few nights, these situations replayed in
my dreams.
So, and every night was adifferent one, and I had
(23:45):
messaged Kirsten because I'mlike, oh my God, like this.
This is really interesting.
Because I didn't look at it likeOK, this is your subconscious
and your dream coming at yousaying look at, look at how you
feel.
You know this is, this is yourlife, or whatever.
I looked at it like it was myuniverse, my subconscious,
saying this is what you, youfear and this is not your
reality, like it's okay to letit go, Let it go.
(24:09):
That's how I interpreted it.
So I messaged Kirsten and she'slike you are not only releasing
it in the physical world.
By doing your release with, youknow, the moon, energy or
anything you're actually workingon, you're subconsciously
actually releasing it, which islike double the good.
I don't know, but like for thefirst time ever, I really feel
(24:32):
like these negative thoughts andtheories I've had of my life,
and they tend to focus around mymarriage, my self-worth, who I
am as a mother, a friend, adaughter, those insecurities
that are really holding me backfrom being who I know I can be,
(24:57):
because, not really holding meback from being that person, but
feeling like these things arekeeping me from being the full
person I know I can be.
These doubts, they're just evenin my fitness right, like in my
health journey.
Why, you know, come on, youknow you can do this Like why
(25:18):
are you holding yourself back?
Just laziness, what is it like?
What's going on?
And ever since these things werebeing released, like I said,
they're replayed in my dreamsevery night.
And God, there was some realserious revelations in these
dreams too, because I've haddreams like this before and I've
looked at the people in thescenarios.
Why this person, why is thisperson in my dream has nothing
(25:42):
to do with, you know, my husbandnow and my life now.
Why does this keep popping up?
And it really made me realizethat.
That was the moment when Istarted feeling like, okay,
maybe this is a problem, maybemy life won't always be good,
because this could happen again,you know.
So it's been a really powerfulmonth in that sense for me in
(26:07):
trying to truly release thesenegative blocks and I really
feel like this time it'shappening, you know, it's really
presenting itself and sayingit's time Like, yeah, you got to
do this.
So that's been as far as myspiritual journey has been
(26:27):
really crazy lately, but good,but good.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Other than that, yeah , I find it interesting that
we're all working on.
You know, our limiting beliefs,yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
And I was going to like chime in.
It's funny, I haven't beenworking, you know, I haven't
been working with the moon orthings like that, but I just
started.
I want to say, a couple ofmonths ago I was chatting with a
friend of mine and she's, youknow, telling me she's talking
me up, she's totally, you know,you're brilliant, you're amazing
, you know all the things.
And I'm like, huh, sure, okay,hey, whatever.
And so, like you know, I hangup the phone and then, you know,
(27:08):
a couple of days later, myhusband is, you know, doing the
same thing and he's, you know,saying, you know, I wish you
could.
He said to me, I wish you couldsee yourself the way that I see
you.
And it just really that hit andI started thinking about it and
I'm like I need to see myselfthe way that they see me,
because if I saw myself that way, I feel like I would unlock so
(27:31):
many things, like it would right, because the self-confidence,
the self-doubt, like that, Iwould eliminate that because
they don't see that in me, youknow.
And so I really every time,every day, since then then I've
been feeling kind of like, orlike just kind of down.
I'm like, no, how does he seeyou?
How does your friends see you?
How do they see you?
(27:52):
They see you as this and youand I'm not saying you take
everything you know, but like,but I, the things that I
identify with, I'm like, yeah, Iam bad-ass.
Okay, so I'm bad-ass, I there's,I don't need to question that.
Like, I need to feel it.
Other people see it.
I need to feel it and it's beena change, it's been a shift in
(28:15):
just the way that I'm movingthrough the world, trying to
just absorb what people see ofme and how they perceive me and
take that, you know, take thegood things.
Obviously.
I'm not saying take the shittythings, but yeah, I mean it can,
and it can really just changehow things are progressing and
moving forward.
Yeah, it's.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
It's opened me up a lot more in accepting this
beautiful life I've been givenand I've worked hard for two.
I do take some credit here,obviously, but it's like I said
a lot of it and I won't go intoall the points.
But a big one for me wasself-worth and we've talked
(28:57):
about this before where I feellike I limit myself, I don't
deserve more, I have enough, Idon't need more, I'm fine.
My husband deserves you knowbetter.
How did I get so lucky to getthis guy Like no, I'm, I'm good
for is lucky too, you know, andthis is okay.
So I will talk about this one.
(29:18):
So this was one of the things Itried to release was, um, the
feeling of worthiness in thismarriage and that it will be
(29:38):
okay.
Um, wow, this can get you knowreally deep.
But the dream that came to mewas a past relationship that I
thought, you know we were goingto get married and everything.
I mean, you know we wereengaged and it ended.
And I think that just stuckwith me because I mean, that was
the moment, that's what wasreplaying, and it wasn't the
(29:59):
exact person, but it wasn'tdefinitely my husband, but it
definitely looked like theformer fiance.
And I remember waking up thatmorning and I just sat with it
and I said you're telling melike it's time to let it go.
Not every relationship is goingto be like the relationship
before.
This husband plans on stickingaround, like it's OK, just
(30:22):
accept it and be in it and don'tworry about you know what if
and if this happens.
And it was just so eye openingfor me because my subconscious,
my universe, whatever you wantto say, brought me this story to
say look, look at it, sit in it, realize what you're looking at
(30:44):
and where it started, and nowit's time to let it go.
I think it's really made mefeel more at peace with myself.
Yeah, and not that I never not.
It's hard to say, it's not thatI don't feel secure in our
relationship, it's just my owninsecurities of past
relationships, right.
It's just my own insecuritiesof past relationships, right.
(31:05):
So it has made me feel closerto my husband than ever before,
because I think I'm finallybringing that wall down of worry
.
So that's just.
That's just one of them.
And it was very interesting howit was presented to me, like
this is where it started andthis is why.
Because I would havereoccurring dreams with this
person, like why do I keep goingback to this?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Why?
Yeah, I hate having reoccurringdreams of my ex-husband, but I
know why it keeps coming up, anda lot of it has to do with
accountability for me, becauseI've always been so quick to
blame my ex for our relationshipfalling apart and whatnot.
(31:50):
But I have a lot of stuff thatwas my fault as well, and lately
a lot of what I've been workingon is accountability
Accountability in my ownrelationship with my finances.
But yeah, when my ex-husbandshows up in my dream
relationship with my financeswith you, know and so but yeah,
when my ex-husband shows up inmy dream, I'm like dude, fuck
(32:11):
you.
And.
I get angry, but then I'm likeokay, but I know what this is
about.
And yeah, yeah, and then I getall yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
And I definitely you know it was.
It was both of us too.
I mean it was both of us too,and we both have wonderful,
amazing families and a life.
And if things didn't happen theway they did, who knows?
So now, as an adult, you know,I'm definitely not like pissed
over it or, you know, upset it.
(32:42):
We're still good friends, youknow I mean.
But whenever I'd have thesedreams it's like why do you keep
bringing me back to?
this and this last month withthis release and trying to truly
work on that.
I think it was like.
This is why.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Well, I'm glad you were able to figure that out.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
Yeah, yeah.
So anyways, I've been writingthese things down as they popped
up and I think I listed likeseven things and about four or
five of them came up in mydreams again and I was like,
okay, all right, so there's that.
Other than I mean, life hasbeen life.
Kids growing up Uh, our sonjust went to junior prom with
(33:17):
one of his best friends and thatwas an experience in itself.
I think I walked away from thatLike truly.
It was like my first, like ohmy God, he's like going to proms
now, like this is, this is someshit.
Like I I emotionally couldn'thandle it Once we dropped the
kids off and we're driving away.
That's when I had, like it hitme like oh God, like Marlena
(33:42):
knows her I don't know ifChristy ever met Nicole, but
yeah, we were pregnant togetherLike these, these two kids like
literally are best friends andoh my God, now to see them
walking off to prom, it's likefucking kidding me, like just
this realization of damn.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Yeah, but what a moment.
That was because you and Nicolewere pregnant together.
Hi, nicole, shout out to Nicole, but you guys were pregnant
together and you know, the kidsgrew up together and even you,
moving away, come and visit oryou know vice versa, and stuff
like that.
And even during the summers shewill come out, yeah, and then
(34:23):
to see them go to prom togetheras best friends, yeah, as let's
clarify Truly as best friends,just friends.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Yeah, I I think in the last year I've really
realized how precious myfriendships are Back home.
I've made some wonderfulfriends out here and some that
I've gotten to be really closeto, and I am so grateful for
that because I need it.
I need it.
I'm the person that's theextrovert in this relationship,
that needs those connections tofeel at home.
(34:53):
But when I go home and I getthe time with Marlena, christy,
if we're, you know, we ever, thethree of us get together, I
mean it's just fantastic.
I have my, my CrossFit groupthat you know we did that race
together, like Nicole, you knowD's like there's just these
moments that I just cannot likeeven put words into them how
(35:16):
much they mean to me.
I mean I come home and I'm justso filled with love and I miss
you all so much.
And when I get those moments Itreasure them wholeheartedly.
And that was one of thoseweekends.
It was like I just walked awayfrom it going, my God, like I'm
just so grateful for the closeknit group I have and I miss
(35:38):
them dearly.
But it makes the experiencesthat I get even more special.
So, yeah, yeah, it's a God.
Okay, yeah, I'm long-winded,but that's been my, my last few
months.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
Well, I I guess we can wrap it up.
Um, yeah, Thank you forlistening to our little life
updates and for listening everyepisode.
To be honest, we reallyappreciate your support.
If you wouldn't be so kind asto like and maybe subscribe
wherever you listen to thispodcast, we would be ever so
(36:19):
grateful.
And go to wmfpodcom to searchpast episodes and interact with
us, and we will see you on thenext episode.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Yeah, Go read some of those books I don't want to do
a book report.
Don't make me Thank you.
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