Can a near-death experience transform your life forever? This week on A Witch, a Mystic, and a Feminist, we sit down with Ray Catania, an award-winning author and intuitive, who shares his breathtaking journey from atheism to spirituality. At 20, Ray faced a terrifying natural gas leak that led to an out-of-body experience, revealing extraordinary insights into life, death, and beyond. Discover how this pivotal moment shifted his entire worldview and set him on a remarkable path of self-discovery and purpose.
Ray opens up about the hurdles he had to overcome post-NDE, including substance abuse, skepticism, and the eerie moments in his first apartment that defied explanation. He credits his wife's unwavering support and love for helping him embrace the spiritual aspects of his experience, which he had initially shunned. Hear about those crucial, life-saving moments where an inexplicable guiding voice intervened, steering Ray away from danger and guiding him toward a purpose-driven life.
The episode gets even more compelling as Ray recounts the unexpected discovery of his mediumship abilities. Faced with the challenge of revealing this newfound gift, he received validation and mentorship from both a psychologist girlfriend and a reputable medium. This mentorship not only affirmed his experiences but also deepened his spiritual journey, leading to a transformative birthday retreat and the acceptance into an exclusive mentorship program. Join us for an inspiring episode packed with extraordinary encounters and life-altering revelations that you won't want to miss.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hello Podcast Land and welcome to this week's
episode of A Witch, a Mystic anda Feminist with your host,
Marlena Christine.
Jamie, don't worry, I kind ofblanked on our names.
Today we are joined by RayCatania, an award-winning author
of two brilliant books, theAtheist and the Afterlife, and
you Are Still Alive.
Now Act Like it.
(00:29):
Ray is an intuitive who teachesspirituality and metaphysics
and is an NDE survivor.
Is that correct, Ray?
Nde survivor, okay, which also,for those of you that don't
know is is near death experience.
So welcome to the show, ray.
We are very excited to chatwith you today.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Well, I am honored to be with you all today.
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate you havingme here.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Yes, Thank you, Ray yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
So your first book, the Atheist and the Afterlife,
is an autobiography, correct?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Yes, yes.
Okay, it was kind of supposedto be one and done, but it
didn't quite work out that way.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
I had too much to tell at the end.
Well, okay, so I've beenreading that book and it is
super fascinating, and one ofthe things that I would like to
kind of dive into real quick isyour near-death experience,
because I find it fascinating Ifyou could discuss your
near-death experience for us.
That would be great.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Sure.
So I was 20 years old and I wasstill living at home with my
parents and, as you probablyread in the book, that wasn't
really a pleasant childhood.
It was a lot of trauma, drama,et cetera.
When I was 20, I was stillliving with them and my bedroom
was located on the second floorDownstairs.
(01:53):
Directly beneath me was thekitchen, and what had happened
was the stove ran on natural gasand there was a leak.
So the gas was rising all nightlong while I was sleeping.
No one knew, I didn't know any,no one knew.
And in the morning my mom camedown just to make breakfast, I
guess as usual, and turn thestove on, and all of a sudden it
(02:15):
was like a poof, like a bigball of flames, and it caught
the wall on fire and there wassmoke and everything.
But it wasn't the smoke or thefire that was dangerous, because
my father was able to put thatout rather quickly, the way I
hear the story with the fire,but the gas, the gas is what
actually got me.
So I hear the fire truckscoming and I hear the police
(02:39):
cars and I'm trying to get outof bed to see what the heck is
going on in my house because Idon't know yet.
And I go to get up and I findthat most of my body is kind of
not paralyzed but it just feltlike it weighed a thousand
pounds Each leg.
It was just.
I couldn't move them becausethey were so heavy.
I couldn't get my head off thepillow and that was really scary
(03:02):
, and I couldn't get my head offthe pillow, and that was really
scary and I couldn't yell andthat was really scary.
So I hear all this commotionand no one's really
acknowledging that I'm up there.
Maybe they don't even know, Idon't know and I can't get out
of this bed.
So I try to grab to the edge ofthe bed and pull myself to the
(03:23):
best of my ability, because Ihad my arms, they would work, or
at least one work better thanthe other, and I was kind of
pulling myself, inching myselfalong until I got to the edge
and with one you know, real likepull, I kind of fell out and I
tumbled out and I landed facefirst, right on my chin, and I
(03:48):
knew where I hit.
I felt the hit but there was nopain afterwards and that's kind
of the really strange part,right.
So you land on your face firstand you expect pain, and then
it's just not there.
And that is because in thatinstant, in that moment, I was
out of my body and I was in acorner of the room.
(04:09):
The room was like a perfectsquare Imagine a perfect square.
And I fell out on the far sideof the bed so that the other
side and I'm in this cornerlooking down at my lifeless body
, and I'm not scared in thismoment at all, because it
actually feels euphoric.
The feeling cannot be matchedby anything that I've ever felt
(04:35):
in my entire life.
I mean, and I've done a lot ofdrugs, trust me, and nothing was
this good.
Okay so, and I don't condone theuse, but at that point in time,
you know, things are a littledifferent.
So I'm looking down at my bodyand there's a white light and
(04:55):
it's a huge cone-shaped whitelight.
It's like a spotlight that's onthe energetic me, not the dead
me, but the real me, right, andI'm kind of intertwined with the
light.
So the light and me, we becomeone and I'm a part of it, right?
(05:17):
And then at the end of thelight is a being, who, and I
don't know male or female, oryou know who, what or anything
like that email or you know who,what or anything like that.
But, um, they say, um, it'sokay to come into the light,
it's safe to come into the light, come in.
And I, as I and I wanted to goin.
So as I got further into thelight and I got closer to this
(05:39):
being, um, it felt more euphoric.
It just kept getting, it keptbuilding and building.
So I wanted to go farther andfarther into the light.
And then, in that moment, myfather, I guess they heard the
thump right and theyacknowledged oh my god, ray's
upstairs, let's go.
And my father came up first,kicked in the door and he
(06:01):
scooped me up off the floor.
And I'm watching this and I seethis happening and he's
distraught and he's screamingfor the paramedics, he's crying,
he's just emotional, and thiswas a guy that was never not
emotional in that regard.
The only emotion I ever saw wasanger, and we didn't have a
(06:26):
particularly good relationshipby any means.
So I think, like when I sawthat, I wanted that.
You know, that was missing frommy life, that relationship with
my dad, and so I asked thebeing if I could go back
literally to.
My intention was to experiencethat, because I can't remember
(06:48):
being hugged by him, took mydeath for that to happen.
So he let me go back, or shelet me go back, I guess, because
when I came to, I'm not in thatroom anymore, I'm actually
downstairs.
I'm in the living room, flat onmy, and the paramedics have
their you know, all their toolsand stuff and they're working on
(07:08):
me and I kind of popped up andI'm like guys, you know, what
are you doing?
What are you doing?
I feel great.
This is, you know, I'm good.
I'm good, I feel wonderfulbecause the euphoria is still
flowing through me, right?
It like it doesn't justdissipate.
So I'm really like trying toexplain to them that I'm really
fine and they're like, son, youare so far from fine, you have
(07:31):
no idea.
So just lay there and I'm likebut but did you see the light?
Did you hear the voice?
I mean, guys, were you here?
And they start looking at eachother like okay, what's this kid
on?
Or am I out of my mind?
And now they're going to takeme to the wrong hospital and I
can't get myself out.
So I just shut up.
Even before that, throughout mylife I was able to see energy
(07:55):
and kind of feel energy and Ijust thought that was a normal
thing.
But whenever I brought it up Iwas told that was crazy.
So, here I am crazy again and Ijust the best thing for me to do
when I'm told I'm crazy is justshut the heck up and go with
the flow.
So they took me in.
They go, bring up the truck.
Bring up the truck Like it's areal emergency.
(08:17):
I don't understand theemergency because I feel
wonderful.
So they take me away, I'm letout the next day.
Um, so they take me away, I'm,I'm let out the next day and um,
then I'm trying to process.
You know what happened.
So I start to explain to myparents and, coming from a
Christian background, you know,just like they told me I was
(08:38):
crazy with the energy andthere's none of that and it's
all nonsense.
You're silly.
Don't tell anybody that thatnever happened.
You were not dead.
I was like, really I wasn'tdead I still got the marks
Speaker 3 (08:52):
from the pad.
That shit hurts yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
And so she was in denial and I get that.
Now I understand, because if mykid died on my watch, I
certainly would be affecteddeeply like that and it wasn't
until the book was published,which was 2020.
My mother I think she turned 81or something, 82, something
(09:17):
like that, and that's when shecame to terms with it and she
actually we had a heart-to-heartabout it and she told me you
know, you actually flatlinedmore than once I think it was
three times, because there weremultiple times in the ambulance
on the way to the hospital, sobut that was a really big
bonding moment for she and I.
(09:39):
It was really important thatthat happened, because we have a
much better relationship todaythan I think we ever had really,
and my father's passed, sothere's no going back there.
But I do forgive everyonebecause I get it now I
understand why they were the waythey were, because I understand
why I was the way I was, comingfrom a household of chaos and
(10:01):
anger.
That's what I knew.
That's what I understood thebest right Like I could navigate
chaos.
So if I went out into the worldand whether it was a job or
whether it was with friends orwhatever it was that I was doing
.
If there's not enough chaos,I'm going to create it, because
I can navigate those waters.
I don't know how to navigatenormalcy.
(10:23):
I don't understand that.
That's not natural to me.
Regular love, my relationshipswere a disaster because that's
what I thought was normal work.
To realize that I was programmeda certain way and I had to
(10:46):
reprogram my subconscious mindand to alleviate my egoic mind
so that NDE, though, that wasthe catalyst that started to get
me to move in that direction,even though I suppressed it
Because, like I said, when Itold anybody, I was crazy.
So I tried to justify it insome other way.
(11:07):
So the way I justified it wasthat I probably fell in front of
the window and it was a sunnyday and the sun that was shining
on me, well, that's the whitelight, and I had inhaled so much
gas that I was hallucinatingand that was the being and the
voice and everything else.
So I was able to justify itanalytically and I could put it
(11:32):
away and I could go return toatheism, which is what I thought
I was.
I didn't really, you know.
I just wanted to rebel againstwhatever my parents were so.
I was like whatever you are,I'm going in the opposite
direction.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
You went the way other direction as far as I
could go.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Is there anything?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
after I do, I'll do that.
Negative atheism.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
That's next.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
So it wasn't right away that all of a sudden you
embraced this.
You know, I had this near deathexperience and I have more of a
purpose in life kind ofsituation.
You had to still continue to godown a path and really it was
like meeting your wife, right.
That kind of opened up a lotmore, which, again reading your
book and I feel like I know somuch about you.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
I know We've bonded.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
You're my best friend .
I know We've bonded.
You're my best friend.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Yeah, I felt like I had to put those things in the
book because, you know, part ofovercoming everything is one of
the things that I teach my ownclients is you have to become
whole, and when you become whole, you acknowledge your faults
Everybody.
It's easy to brag about thegood things right but it's
really difficult to brag aboutthe bad things and accept them
for what they are.
And then you're whole and thenyou can move past them.
(12:53):
So, yeah, that took a long timeand after the NDE I think I
told this story in the book Imoved out and got my first
apartment and I just thoughtthat this was going to be great
and I'm like 21, 22, we're goingto have parties all the time
and it's going to be awesome.
(13:13):
And none of that happened,because as soon as I moved in,
it was like the room was alreadyfilled with people.
You just felt like you werebeing watched all the time.
There was these energies that Icould feel pushing up against
my body.
I would see lines going acrossthe white walls because I never
painted them, of course andlittle spirally things over here
(13:34):
, and then my body would shakeand vibrate and anything.
The blender goes on.
I had a PlayStation that waslike my thing.
I had to stay with thatPlayStation because if I did
anything else, something wouldhappen that would scare me.
I would hear things falling inthe other room.
The alarm would go off.
So I must've called themaintenance guy 50 times and he
(13:57):
keeps coming up and he's likelisten, kid, there is nothing
wrong with this place.
It's in your head.
You're effing crazy.
Don't call me again here.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
I am crazy again.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Right, so I can't sleep.
That's the next thing thathappens.
The next stage I cross over, Icome back.
So obviously I bring a wholebunch of a whole crew with me
and they're trying to get myattention and I'm just not, you
know, acknowledging them becauseI'm trying to explain to them I
don't believe in you, you'renot real, I'm an atheist.
(14:28):
Go away.
So I start using massiveamounts of drugs and alcohol to
go to sleep because I can'tsleep, and that started and
became a problem for like 10years.
Um, and also during those 10years, I think in the back of my
mind, I knew that I had died,like I kind of.
I kind of knew it, but I justwasn't ready to say it.
(14:51):
Um, so I didn't fear death.
And coming from a home of chaos, being in my young twenties,
using tons of drugs and alcoholand not being afraid of death,
that is just the recipe fordisaster, right?
So I put myself in the worstplaces that anybody could
possibly put themselves in,where I could potentially die
(15:24):
over, and that being wouldpresent himself or herself and
tell me how to get out of thesituation.
And I don't know why.
I am not special, I'm just aregular guy with a really messed
up situation.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I'm sure they're like we sent you back.
You asked to go back, we sentyou back.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
You owe us, you're not done yet.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
You have a new purpose now, right, you can't
come back yet.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
You know, I had this one time.
I was working for some shadycharacters and because you know,
I would kind of really push theenvelope, you know, up the ante
and try to get closer andcloser to death.
And so it was like a late night, sit down amongst the shady
characters and I didn't knowhalf of them.
I knew some of them and I wasleaving work.
(16:17):
I worked there.
It was a bar and I worked thereand I was just.
Somebody asked me for a drinkand I looked at the boss, he
gave me the head and on I waslike okay.
So I poured him a drink andsomebody else calls out for
something else and I had to getit out of the liquor cabinet
that was locked up.
I looked for the nod.
He goes yeah, okay.
I said okay, I can get it.
And I go down to get it and Ihear pop, pop, pop, pop, pop,
(16:38):
pop pop.
And I'm staying here because I'mgoing to try to figure out how
am I going to get the hell outof here without the shooter or
shooters seeing me, and thevoice says side door, side door.
And I'm like how am I going toget to?
(16:58):
I can't get there without beingseen it's not possible.
So finally I got to dosomething.
So I go for it.
I go for the side door and thenjust getting out that door is
not good enough, because youhave to make a left and go down
this like long corridor I wouldsay it's like 40, 45 feet.
You get to the next door andthen that's the fire exit to
(17:19):
outside.
So obviously I made it.
But here's what's really crazy.
Like I parked my car rightoutside that door and I never,
ever, parked there.
In fact, I had an assignedparking space on the other side
of the building but for somereason I parked there.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
I have no idea.
I mean now.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
I know, but I didn't know at the time.
Yeah, and I was able to escape,I was able to get out of there.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Crazy stuff, that kid in the ocean and you kept
getting pushed out until andthen, finally, you said you
heard a voice that said swimsideways.
Looking back on that now, is itthe same voice.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Absolutely, absolutely, yeah, there's no
question.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Do you think you relate it to being and I'm air
quotes, you guys can't see this,but God talking to you, or more
of a guardian angel or a guide?
What do you see it as?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I believe it's a spirit guide that kind of had my
back all these times.
Why, Again, I don't know, butI'm going to say he, for lack of
a better word she is still withme.
You know like we cancommunicate and I figured out as
I, as I learned more about theprocess.
(18:46):
Learn more about mediumship andother you know intuitive things
and and so I learned how to getin touch and how to where he is
like on my.
I have a map in my mind andthird eye and I know exactly
where he's located, becauseeverybody has their spot.
They don't leave their spot.
You get to learn.
(19:06):
So he has his spot and I knowwhere he is and I know how to
reach him and I go to himquestions all the time it's hard
to communicate because guidesare on a different frequency
than just like the regular dead.
We'll say right, they're easierto communicate with, but a guide
(19:27):
is up at a higher level.
And if we call this the thirdrealm, we'll say the next one is
the fourth, when people firstcross over.
And then the fifth is like youknow, if you, I think and this
is just my theory is that if youbecome enlightened on earth,
you don't go back and do it allover again, you go to five, and
(19:47):
that is where you can reallyhelp people, and I'm sure it's
not just people, I'm surethere's other.
You know they have a lot ofwork to do, I'm sure, but that's
my guy and he's always beenthere.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
But that's my guy and he's always been there.
Going back to your near-deathexperience and that conversation
.
Following that or more so,following like after you've
learned a lot of things have youdiscussed with other people
that have had near-deathexperiences, their experiences
as well, Like doing comparisonsand seeing you know?
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Oh yeah.
Yeah, but it took a lot of yearsto find somebody.
Remember, I was 20, so I'mgoing to show my age now.
We didn't have computers, wedidn't have cell phones, we
didn't have any of that Right.
So there was no place for me togo look, except if I wanted to
drive to the library and looksomething up which I didn't
really think was going to behelpful.
So a lot of years went bybefore I took that back out of
(20:46):
that box that I had sealed it upin and I really didn't have a
reason to address it.
So my first marriage I was like30 and I had two boys
immediately from that marriage,like year one, year two, boom,
boom, two sons.
And now my attitude has tochange towards everything,
(21:07):
because now I have a reason tolive and I have a reason that I
must for them.
So I clean up my act, I go torehab, I check myself in, I go
back to college.
After that, I complete mydegree, I get a great job, I get
another great job and anothergreat job.
I do well and my kids get youknow everything they need Not
(21:30):
everything they want, buteverything they need.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
And maybe some of it Maybe some of it, we know.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
You can tell what I'm so but they, they changed me,
like they were the catalyst thatreally made me change
everything about myself and tryto start bettering myself.
That marriage fell apart veryquickly, but the kids, they were
still with me for a long timeand you know, I had some done,
some dating here and there, butit was nothing serious and I
didn't want it to be seriousbecause I didn't want to bring
(22:07):
another woman into their livesand you know it would affect
them.
So I waited a very long timebut then eventually they were
older and I felt like they couldhandle it and so I went online
to meet somebody could handle it, and so I went online to meet
somebody.
And when you do this and I'msure none of you have ever done
(22:27):
this, but I have had to do thisand you go online and they give
you examples of women that arein your area, so to try to get
you to join the site right, andthere were four pictures on this
one particular site.
I went through tons of sites.
It was just one after anotherand they give you the examples
and I just kept moving on,moving on, moving on.
Finally, I get to this one siteand the third picture down.
(22:48):
I was like stunned.
I was just like it was morethan just a physical attraction.
It was like I know her, she isme, she's my wife.
I know her.
So I joined the site and I sentone email.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
That's it to her.
That was it.
I told her I was like this iskind of funny.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
I said so, yeah, right, like this is really going
to sound crazy, um, but uh, butyou're my wife.
You just don't know this yetand, by the way, my name is Ray.
Would you like to get together?
And I did it in a much funnierway, I even copied and pasted it
and put it in a book.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
It's pretty funny.
She thought I was completelynuts.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
And she said ah, you're crazy.
And I said yeah, no, I know, Iknow, and we did meet and we are
still married and we're stilltogether and we are definitely
soulmates.
There's no question about that.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
That's a hell of a pickup line.
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
I don't.
I don't know if it would work.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I don't recommend that one in hindsight but, you
know, at the time it seemed likethe right thing to do.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
It worked for you.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
But she really opened you up to spirituality.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yeah, she did so when we first started to get like
serious.
Um, one of the questions that Iguess you ask is so you know,
what are your spiritual orreligious beliefs?
And she had asked me thatquestion and I was like um, what
are yours?
Because, I just would have saidyes, that's me too.
(24:32):
Yeah absolutely Um so, but shewas smarter than that.
So, um, and I said, honestly, Idon't know.
I said because, by this point Ireally don't know, I still
hadn't met somebody who had anNDE to your question earlier, so
I wasn't really addressing it,I was just kind of putting it
(24:54):
off and putting it off and Isaid, you know, it's really been
on my list of things to do isto look into this and figure out
, you figure out what happened.
And I didn't even tell her Idon't think I had told her about
the NDE just yet.
It's still a very earlyrelationship.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
First date I almost died, or I died.
First date I did die.
Sorry, nice to meet you.
I see dead people.
Nice to meet you.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
It's not a good conversation breaker.
How's the salmon?
I see dead people and you.
So she says to me yourbirthday's coming up and I'm
going to buy you a spiritualclearing.
And I said, wonderful, what thehell is that, you know?
I said, is it a massage?
She goes, not at all.
And I said terrific.
(25:41):
So she goes.
In fact, you don't even have tobe there.
It's distant.
She'll call you on the phoneand tell you what's going to
happen and blah, blah, blah,blah, blah.
Okay, so we're going to havecake.
I want to get something out ofit.
I don't believe in any of thisstuff.
I don't know what that is.
I'm just going with the flow,because she's hot and I like her
, so I'll agree to basicallyanything.
(26:02):
So the clearing happens.
Then I'm at work and the womancalls me up who's doing it?
And she says don't make anyappointments, don't make any
life-changing decisions for thenext 48 hours and don't have any
appointments today.
And I was like, okay, I wasvery polite, I was like thank
you very much.
And I hung up the phone and shecalled me back and I think it
(26:23):
was 90 minutes later or so andshe said okay, I'm done.
And she told me all the thingsthat the chakra, that chakra,
this energy, that energy, and Isee this and you need to get
back to this and told me a wholebunch of things that actually
didn't make sense at the time,but they did weeks later and
that was a big issue.
So she said if you feel strangefor the next 24 hours and it's
(26:47):
really bad, just call me if youcan't tolerate it.
And I'm like, okay, whateveryou, what do you say?
All right, thank you very much.
And I hung up the phone andwithin about 10 or 15 minutes I
get up from my office chair togo to the bathroom and all of a
sudden my equilibrium is justway off.
You know, it's almost like youhad to drink too fast and you're
(27:10):
like Whoa.
So that's the way I felt.
And then I started to feel theenergies again, the ones that I
thought, kind of let me be.
And now here they are and it'slike I'm back in that apartment
again and I'm repeating thiswhole thing all over again and
I'm like son of a gun.
This is just like crazy, youknow.
So up until that point, theenergy beings that I have seen
(27:35):
keep in mind, I never saw myguide only saw lines.
It was just squiggly lines,that's it.
That's the closest thing I'veever seen to anything.
But after this occurrence, thisis the first time I see an
energy being in the form of ahuman.
Now this really freaks me outto say the least.
(27:59):
So the guy is now I'm not seeingthis with my eyes.
And when I say seeing andhearing, you guys know it's
third eye stuff, right?
Speaker 3 (28:07):
It's all inside.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
I'm not hearing it, I'm not seeing it with my eyes.
So it's like a movie screenthat kind of opens up.
I describe it inside my mindand then there'll be an actor or
actors on the movie screen, butthey're talking to me and in
this case it was a big, huskyguy and he had a beard and a
mustache, thick black hair, andhe says it looks me right in the
eye and he says I messed up.
(28:31):
No, I effed up is what he said.
I made a mistake.
You can help her.
I cannot, and I'm like, lookingaround, anybody else hear that
and nobody's reacting.
So I guess I'm the only onethat saw and heard that.
And I continue to the trip tothe bathroom and I'm just there
and doing my thing and then herehe is again and I'm like I'm in
(28:53):
the bathroom, dude, he's like IF'd up, I made a mistake.
You can help her.
I could.
He's very powerful and he's inmy face, a little off center,
the most closest to center I'veever experienced, which is very
unusual.
Um, so this continues on and onand on.
(29:15):
I'm getting a headache and Ijust I don't feel well.
It's a Friday and I go homefrom from work and I figure I
got the weekend, I can rest.
Maybe I'm coming down withsomething the next morning.
However, as soon as I get outof bed, there he is again the
same guy saying the same thingover and over again.
It felt like every hour on thehour.
(29:36):
He was just repeating himself.
Now, now I start to think likesomething's really wrong here.
I don't know what's going on.
I don't even attribute this tospiritual clearing, because I
don't even know what that is yet.
I don't really even kind of I'mnot putting that together.
So the day goes on, it getsworse and worse, and then by
(29:57):
Sunday it seemed like he wasthere every five minutes and it
just would not stop.
And now I can't talk to people,I can't drive well, and the
breaking point was I was in thestore and I was paying for my
stuff.
I don't know what I did.
Maybe I paused, I don't know.
But the lady behind the countersaid sir, are you okay?
And I said no.
(30:20):
No, I'm not, I am not.
And I took my card back and Iwent to the car and I'm like I
can't believe this, like I'mreally, am crazy, and and and
now, uh, I just put my head downbecause I was like I busted my
ass, I went back to school, Iwent into rehab, I did
everything right, got a greatjob and it changed my whole
(30:40):
world.
And now it's gone.
It's going to be gone and Istarted making sure I had
provisions for my children, Imade sure my will was in order,
I made sure I had a DNR, becauseI am going back to that light
baby.
I am not coming back to thisplace ever and, for the record,
my father never did hug me again.
So I made the wrong choice.
(31:01):
So I'm really thinking this isthe end, this is the beginning
of the end.
My father never did hug meagain, so I made the wrong
choice.
So I'm really thinking this isthe end, this is the beginning
of the end of my life.
So now I've got to tell thiswoman that I love, because she
has the right to know that she'sdating a crazy guy, and I don't
know how to tell her this.
And what makes this even worseis that, for a living, she is a
(31:22):
doctor of psychology andneuropsychology.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Oh yeah, yep, yeah Of course she is.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Of course, what else would she be so, couldn't you?
Speaker 3 (31:34):
be a psychiatrist.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Anything.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
So I'm going to tell a doctor of psychology Hi, how
you doing?
I see dead people.
How's the salmon?
Yeah, she's going to go check,please, you know.
But I have to tell her and I dotell her, and I explain the way
it happens and how I get thevibrations first, and then I see
the lines and then all of asudden, the movie screen opens
up and here's this guy I'venever seen before Big, husky guy
(32:00):
, beard, mustache, dark hair.
And he says I effed up, I madea mistake.
You can help her, I cannot.
And she's looking like herwheels are turning, she's not
scared yet and I'm just waitingfor it.
And she goes hmm, that soundslike my dad.
And I said wait a minute, waita minute, your dad's dead.
(32:21):
You told me he died.
Now I'm thinking you're nutsand I'm getting out of here.
Check, please Do you think I'mseeing dead people?
So she says, relax, you'reprobably a psychic medium and
you don't know it.
I said, what the hell is amedium?
She goes I've been to plenty ofmediums and my dad comes
(32:42):
through and he's very powerful,just like you said.
He's almost front and center.
In fact, he made one of thegreatest mediums in the world
almost come to tears and I waslike, well, this guy definitely
has drive me to tears.
But here's the thing it's notyour dad, because I saw that
picture that you have over thefireplace on the mantle.
I saw that photo Very clearly.
(33:03):
It does not look like that manat all and she goes well, that's
a very old photo.
Let me show you what he lookedlike before he died.
And she goes through her phoneand she shows me a picture and I
said, holy crap, you know thatguy.
And she goes that's my dad.
Silly.
And now my heart is just like inmy stomach.
I don't know what to do withthis now.
So insanity I understand.
(33:26):
Mediumship I have no concept of.
So I almost would prefer thisinsanity in this moment, because
it's not unknown and becauseI've been told that my whole
life anyway.
So it's just, you know, an addon.
But now, what is this mediumthing and what am I supposed to
do with it?
(33:46):
So she said um, before you getall you know worked up over this
before, like you know, I'm notworked up or I I'm sweating
Sweat's coming down on my faceand she's like there's a very
reputable medium that's comingto our area.
She travels around.
She's going to be staying in,you know, two cities away from
(34:07):
us.
I'll make us two appointments.
You could go in and discusswhat you see and just kind of
bounce it off her.
She'll tell you what it is, ifit is what it is or not.
And I was like that's a greatidea, not the thing that I was
expecting.
I was expecting here's a doctor, call him.
Never call me again.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Have a nice life.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
But no, that's not because this was my soulmate and
she knew better and she knewexactly how to handle the
situation, and so I met with her, I met with the medium.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
What a story I mean seriously and, like you said, to
meet your wife and theacceptance of it, and it is
exactly where you needed to be.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
The universe put you where you were supposed to be,
and her too, because she neededthat information that I gave her
, and as soon as I told her too,because, like this, all she
needed that information that Igave her, and as soon as I told
her that he was gone which isone of the things I didn't
understand yet, right?
So when I do meet with themedium, we talk about this and I
(35:09):
explain.
You know, I introduced myselfHi, I'm Ray.
And she goes oh, you're thatway.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Oh, now I'm Ray and she goes.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Oh, you're that way and she goes what brings you
here today, ray?
And I said I'm absolutely crazy.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Really Me too.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
She goes, what happens?
I said I see people that aren'treally there.
She said really Me too.
There's more of us Right rightand I was like so you're nuts
too.
She goes absolutely have a seat, let's talk.
And she goes, tell me whathappens.
And I told her vibrations andthe lines and the thing and the
movie screen, blah, blah, blahand she goes too.
(35:53):
She goes in fact that's the waymost of us see it and I'm like
see what?
Speaker 1 (35:59):
Dead people.
She didn't say dead people butspirit.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
She said spirit.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
Spirit, yeah, energy beans Right.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
I call them energy beans Right right, right yeah.
So she takes me under her wingfor the first year of me going
through this and she didn't eventeach anymore.
She had no intention ofteaching anymore, but she saw
this guy that was a mess and sheconfided in me that when she
was very young, that her parentshad her committed as a
(36:28):
schizophrenic and I was like, ohmy god, I just met somebody who
understands me and I justhugged her.
I was overwhelmed that after Ithink I was 46 years old or
something like that I finallyfound somebody who didn't see me
as crazy.
And not only that, but sheunderstood me and she went
(36:50):
through a lot of the same thingsthat I did and we bonded in
that moment and, thank God, shereally took to me and because
she saved my life withoutquestion she saved my life.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
It's such God.
It's just such a beautifulstory and I'm so inspired by it
because I think a lot of us canbe sensitive to energies and we
tend to block it because it canbe scary.
It can be.
You know what is going on.
Am I crazy?
Like you said, I know formyself.
I put boundaries up.
(37:25):
I tell the universe and theenergies out there all the time
you're welcome here, no negativeenergies.
You know we're protected, butdon't do anything scary and
don't scare the shit out of myfamily.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Do not scare my wife, because I will kill you Silly
me.
That really happened.
We were in a hotel room.
There was like 12 of us thatgot together and we were
studying mediumship and mymentor at the time she was
running the show and so to speakand we all went down there and
when we got back we were justwiped out.
(37:57):
We worked from like I don'tknow it was very early in the
morning to pretty late in theevening and we did so many
different exercises and I wasjust exhausted and I just laid
down and my wife was there too,the whole time through
everything and she's almostfalling asleep and I'm like the
room is filled and she's likeshe doesn't flinch anymore.
(38:18):
At this point she's almostfalling asleep and I'm like the
room is filled and she's likeshe doesn't flinch anymore.
At this point she's like whatare you going to do?
I said I'm going to go to sleepand I closed my eyes and I went
into a little brief meditation.
I'm like, guys, listen, I'mexhausted, get out of my room.
And one of them touched my legand I don't want to freak
anybody out here, but you,mother, I just jumped out of bed
(38:39):
, didn't lose my anger yet I'mstill you know, that's exactly
what I said.
I will kill you, I will, andshe's like honey uh that's not
going to scare him.
You got to come up withsomething better than that.
Something else, yeah, and so Isaid the worst thing I will
never help you.
(39:00):
That's what I said.
I will never help you If youscare me, my wife, my kids or
anything like that.
You will never get my help and,ultimately, that's what they
want.
They want you to pass a messageto somebody else and when you
pass the message, they're gone.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
Yeah, you know they don't even stay your friend
anymore.
I'm out of here.
Peace out.
Yeah, Do you still consideryourself an atheist after coming
?
To jail no no no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
That's gone.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
So do you consider yourself spiritual, do you?
I mean yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Yeah, I mean I don't subscribe to any particular
religion.
I think they're all.
They have their good stuff andtheir bad stuff and you know,
and they've morphed into thingsover years, you know.
So there's a lot of fallacy inthere and it's not cool to draw
people into something like that.
But overall I'm spiritual, Irecognize there's an afterlife
(39:58):
and I can you know I don't knoweverything about it, but you
know, I know a pretty goodamount.
After that had occurred when Imet my first mentor, the first
year with her came to an end andit's my birthday again and my
wife says what do you want to dofor your birthday?
And she goes why don't we goaway?
I said, yeah, that sounds great.
She goes what do you want to dofor your birthday?
And she goes why don't we goaway?
I said, yeah, that sounds great.
She goes what do you want to do?
(40:18):
An island or Florida, a beachor something?
I was like, no, I want trees.
I want, like, trees and a tentand an outhouse.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
And she's like great.
Okay, you sound like a vacationto me.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
I've created a monster.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
And that's what we did.
We got a cabin in the middle ofnowhere and we just meditated
the whole weekend.
And it was just because, youknow, when you're in a city or
you're in a crowded area and youknow, energy is coming at you.
It's coming at you from thedead, it's coming from the
living.
You can feel their emotions,you know.
It's just.
I just want to be with treesbecause they don't fluctuate,
(41:01):
they're just very calm, verycool.
Nothing really bothers them,and I just was attracted to that
.
So we spent the weekend thereand while I was there, something
crazy always has to happen onmy birthday.
So we're there and she pullsout an illustration Somebody had
drawn a picture and she showedit to me and I said wow, that's
(41:23):
your dad.
And she goes yeah, I know.
And I said but no, no, no, no,you don't understand.
That's exactly the way I seehim Like when he's in the movie
screen.
He's wearing that shirt, that's, his hair is like that,
everything is perfect.
That's him.
That's the way I see him andshe goes.
Well, that makes sense, becausea medium drew this no way, and
(41:46):
that was further validation,right that?
What I was seeing was the samething as this man and he's a
spirit artist, he could draw.
I was like, wow, I wish I coulddo that, you, he could draw.
I was like, wow, I wish I coulddo that, I could literally show
you the person I'm seeing.
And I said, who is this man?
I have to find him.
We have to find him.
(42:06):
And we looked him up on thecomputer.
We found his website and itsaid now accepting students for
a two-year mentorship program.
You have to apply by February15th.
That's my birthday, so thedeadline to apply is my birthday
, and that's the weekend thatwe're there.
She's like are you going toapply?
I said, what?
So you fill out thisapplication?
(42:29):
And that's like not even thebeginning, because then you get
the real application and it'slike a hundred pages of essay
questions and how does thathappen?
How do you differentiatebetween this and that?
And blah, blah, blah, blah.
It's very detailed and, um, I'mjust doing my best with it
because I've only had a year oftraining and you know.
But the idea, oh, and thenthere's an interview and then,
(42:50):
after the interview, you getanother application.
So to be in the mentorship isnot like being in a regular
class.
It's for just people that heknows that you're legit.
And it's not that the otherpeople aren't legit, it's just
that they're not as far along intheir learning process, let's
say so.
(43:11):
I submitted my applicationfinally, went through the
interview, did everything, and Ididn't hear anything at all.
Finally went through theinterview, did everything and I
didn't hear anything at all.
And now I'm back to square one,doubting myself, going, wow,
maybe I just got lucky, you know.
Maybe I just, who knows, maybeI dreamt that.
I don't know, you know, I'mjust doubting myself.
In instantly, my ego just comesright in and rips me apart.
And, um, so I called hisassistant just to find out that
(43:34):
I didn't get in Right, and thisprogram was two years, right,
and it was a few thousanddollars.
It wasn't, you know, you hadfull 24, seven access to to a
mentor.
And so I called and she said um, I said I just wanted to
confirm that.
You know, I didn't get it, Iwasn't accepted.
And she goes oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, we didn't finalize it
(43:55):
yet.
There's hundreds ofapplications and hundreds of
people he has to speak to.
I was like, okay, wow, thankyou.
And now this gives you aglimpse into this person,
because you have severalthousand dollars times a couple
hundred people.
Okay, he could have just takeneverybody into the program, said
(44:19):
, yep, you're all real, comeright in.
There were 11 of us and I wasthe 11th.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
Oh, 11.
Yeah 11.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
Eventually it was, I think it was 13 or 14.
A couple more people came inlike week two, came in like week
two, week three, but that wasit.
So he let all that money go.
That's integrity.
And I'm like I'm never leavingthis guy and to this day he's
still my guy and, um, he's mygo-to.
(44:51):
I.
I mentor with other people, buthe's always like the prime
person and he taught us so muchabout not just mediumship but
spirituality, so many otherthings and how the universe
works.
And then I'm the kind of personthat I just get obsessed and I
have to learn everything I couldpossibly learn.
(45:11):
So I went back to college formetaphysics and I did the whole
program.
I did a bachelor's and then Idid a master's and now I'm doing
my PhD in metaphysics and Ilove it.
And then I sought out othermentors who were specific in
energy work and other things.
So I just started putting thesethings together and I also
(45:32):
studied physics, becauseremember the first energy healer
that I told you about, that didthe clearing.
She said you need to get backto astronomy and I was like when
I was a kid I loved the planets, I loved the universe, I loved
everything about it.
And going down that path led medown a path of physics and
(45:54):
learning about energy frequencyand vibration, and I studied
Einstein and Tesla and NielsBohr and Heisenberg and I
started learning about how theyfigured out they really figured
out how the universe works, andyou could take spiritual
concepts and apply them toquantum physics and you get the
(46:16):
answer this is how this works.
It's not woo-woo, and that's theentire second book is showing.
It's not woo-woo.
So I give you the concept, Itell you how I use the concept
and then I tell you what'sbehind the curtain, how Einstein
and Tesla figured this out longbefore we did.
(46:36):
Tesla said you're going to havea device in your pocket that
you can send information to theother side of the world in a
half a second, and it will be sosmall to fit in the size of
your pocket.
That was 1901.
Speaker 3 (46:48):
And here we are.
Yeah, that's the phone, right,yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
And he was a clairvoyant or a psychic
inventor and that's why he diedpoor, because he didn't have any
blueprints.
When they wanted to buy thepatents from him, they're like,
well, where's your blueprints?
He goes blueprints, I justthink about it and I make it and
they're like you're nuts.
And I was like, oh, another one.
They think that's nuts.
So he didn't have the patents,so people would steal his stuff
(47:14):
and he felt like everythingshould be given away for free
anyway and he died.
Westinghouse was kind enough togive him a apartment until he
died, which was in a hotel.
Because he felt bad for him, hebought his final patent from
him.
Speaker 3 (47:29):
I was just going to say I am just so fascinated with
your stories and everythingwhere you've been and what
you've experienced, and I meanwe could seriously talk here for
another hour and I'm just sograteful for you to be on the
show today.
Is there any kind of message orlife lesson that you want to
(47:50):
leave with our listeners?
And just a reminder he's gottwo great books out there on
Audible and for purchase, youknow.
Please look them up.
We've all been exploring themourselves.
So is there anything you'd liketo leave our listeners with?
Speaker 2 (48:05):
Wow, there's so, so many things, but just one, just
kidding.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
Let me ask my wife, because she answers these
questions.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
She gets better advice.
She gets better advice.
No, I mean the one thing that Ilearned that was most important
.
After all was said and done, Ilearned that I'm in control of
my own life.
I am one with the creator and Ican create my own life.
I can create happiness and Ihave a better understanding of
(48:36):
what that is.
And it's not bliss and it's not.
It's being okay when you're notokay.
And creating from thatperspective is not about the
fancy cars, it's not about thefancy houses.
It's simply about being andjust enjoying every moment of
(48:57):
life.
That's just going to be bad,because it's pretty damn good
actually, but enjoy this andcreate and help others with that
creation.
Every day I try to do one thingfor somebody else and I try to
do one thing for myself, becauseself-care is important and
helping somebody else and doingthat over and over creates a
(49:20):
positive karmic cycle and you'llget back what you put out.
So be kind to others and otherhumans and animals, everything,
because it'll come back to youand I think that's most
important.
Speaker 3 (49:35):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
Thank you guys.
Well, thank you Ray, and thankyou to our listeners for tuning
in to this episode.
Go to WMF pod to interact withus.
Podcom, sorry to interact withus and we will see you on the
next episode.
Thank you.
Hello Podcast Land and welcome to this week's
episode of A Witch, a Mystic anda Feminist with your host,
Marlena Christine.
Jamie, don't worry, I kind ofblanked on our names.
Today we are joined by RayCatania, an award-winning author
of two brilliant books, theAtheist and the Afterlife, and
you Are Still Alive.
Now Act Like it.
(00:29):
Ray is an intuitive who teachesspirituality and metaphysics
and is an NDE survivor.
Is that correct, Ray?
Nde survivor, okay, which also,for those of you that don't
know is is near death experience.
So welcome to the show, ray.
We are very excited to chatwith you today.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Well, I am honored to be with you all today.
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate you havingme here.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Yes, Thank you, Ray yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
So your first book, the Atheist and the Afterlife,
is an autobiography, correct?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Yes, yes.
Okay, it was kind of supposedto be one and done, but it
didn't quite work out that way.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
I had too much to tell at the end.
Well, okay, so I've beenreading that book and it is
super fascinating, and one ofthe things that I would like to
kind of dive into real quick isyour near-death experience,
because I find it fascinating Ifyou could discuss your
near-death experience for us.
That would be great.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Sure.
So I was 20 years old and I wasstill living at home with my
parents and, as you probablyread in the book, that wasn't
really a pleasant childhood.
It was a lot of trauma, drama,et cetera.
When I was 20, I was stillliving with them and my bedroom
was located on the second floorDownstairs.
(01:53):
Directly beneath me was thekitchen, and what had happened
was the stove ran on natural gasand there was a leak.
So the gas was rising all nightlong while I was sleeping.
No one knew, I didn't know any,no one knew.
And in the morning my mom camedown just to make breakfast, I
guess as usual, and turn thestove on, and all of a sudden it
(02:15):
was like a poof, like a bigball of flames, and it caught
the wall on fire and there wassmoke and everything.
But it wasn't the smoke or thefire that was dangerous, because
my father was able to put thatout rather quickly, the way I
hear the story with the fire,but the gas, the gas is what
actually got me.
So I hear the fire truckscoming and I hear the police
(02:39):
cars and I'm trying to get outof bed to see what the heck is
going on in my house because Idon't know yet.
And I go to get up and I findthat most of my body is kind of
not paralyzed but it just feltlike it weighed a thousand
pounds Each leg.
It was just.
I couldn't move them becausethey were so heavy.
I couldn't get my head off thepillow and that was really scary
(03:02):
, and I couldn't get my head offthe pillow, and that was really
scary and I couldn't yell andthat was really scary.
So I hear all this commotionand no one's really
acknowledging that I'm up there.
Maybe they don't even know, Idon't know and I can't get out
of this bed.
So I try to grab to the edge ofthe bed and pull myself to the
(03:23):
best of my ability, because Ihad my arms, they would work, or
at least one work better thanthe other, and I was kind of
pulling myself, inching myselfalong until I got to the edge
and with one you know, real likepull, I kind of fell out and I
tumbled out and I landed facefirst, right on my chin, and I
(03:48):
knew where I hit.
I felt the hit but there was nopain afterwards and that's kind
of the really strange part,right.
So you land on your face firstand you expect pain, and then
it's just not there.
And that is because in thatinstant, in that moment, I was
out of my body and I was in acorner of the room.
(04:09):
The room was like a perfectsquare Imagine a perfect square.
And I fell out on the far sideof the bed so that the other
side and I'm in this cornerlooking down at my lifeless body
, and I'm not scared in thismoment at all, because it
actually feels euphoric.
The feeling cannot be matchedby anything that I've ever felt
(04:35):
in my entire life.
I mean, and I've done a lot ofdrugs, trust me, and nothing was
this good.
Okay so, and I don't condone theuse, but at that point in time,
you know, things are a littledifferent.
So I'm looking down at my bodyand there's a white light and
(04:55):
it's a huge cone-shaped whitelight.
It's like a spotlight that's onthe energetic me, not the dead
me, but the real me, right, andI'm kind of intertwined with the
light.
So the light and me, we becomeone and I'm a part of it, right?
(05:17):
And then at the end of thelight is a being, who, and I
don't know male or female, oryou know who, what or anything
like that email or you know who,what or anything like that.
But, um, they say, um, it'sokay to come into the light,
it's safe to come into the light, come in.
And I, as I and I wanted to goin.
So as I got further into thelight and I got closer to this
(05:39):
being, um, it felt more euphoric.
It just kept getting, it keptbuilding and building.
So I wanted to go farther andfarther into the light.
And then, in that moment, myfather, I guess they heard the
thump right and theyacknowledged oh my god, ray's
upstairs, let's go.
And my father came up first,kicked in the door and he
(06:01):
scooped me up off the floor.
And I'm watching this and I seethis happening and he's
distraught and he's screamingfor the paramedics, he's crying,
he's just emotional, and thiswas a guy that was never not
emotional in that regard.
The only emotion I ever saw wasanger, and we didn't have a
(06:26):
particularly good relationshipby any means.
So I think, like when I sawthat, I wanted that.
You know, that was missing frommy life, that relationship with
my dad, and so I asked thebeing if I could go back
literally to.
My intention was to experiencethat, because I can't remember
(06:48):
being hugged by him, took mydeath for that to happen.
So he let me go back, or shelet me go back, I guess, because
when I came to, I'm not in thatroom anymore, I'm actually
downstairs.
I'm in the living room, flat onmy, and the paramedics have
their you know, all their toolsand stuff and they're working on
(07:08):
me and I kind of popped up andI'm like guys, you know, what
are you doing?
What are you doing?
I feel great.
This is, you know, I'm good.
I'm good, I feel wonderfulbecause the euphoria is still
flowing through me, right?
It like it doesn't justdissipate.
So I'm really like trying toexplain to them that I'm really
fine and they're like, son, youare so far from fine, you have
(07:31):
no idea.
So just lay there and I'm likebut but did you see the light?
Did you hear the voice?
I mean, guys, were you here?
And they start looking at eachother like okay, what's this kid
on?
Or am I out of my mind?
And now they're going to takeme to the wrong hospital and I
can't get myself out.
So I just shut up.
Even before that, throughout mylife I was able to see energy
(07:55):
and kind of feel energy and Ijust thought that was a normal
thing.
But whenever I brought it up Iwas told that was crazy.
So, here I am crazy again and Ijust the best thing for me to do
when I'm told I'm crazy is justshut the heck up and go with
the flow.
So they took me in.
They go, bring up the truck.
Bring up the truck Like it's areal emergency.
(08:17):
I don't understand theemergency because I feel
wonderful.
So they take me away, I'm letout the next day.
Um, so they take me away, I'm,I'm let out the next day and um,
then I'm trying to process.
You know what happened.
So I start to explain to myparents and, coming from a
Christian background, you know,just like they told me I was
(08:38):
crazy with the energy andthere's none of that and it's
all nonsense.
You're silly.
Don't tell anybody that thatnever happened.
You were not dead.
I was like, really I wasn'tdead I still got the marks
Speaker 3 (08:52):
from the pad.
That shit hurts yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
And so she was in denial and I get that.
Now I understand, because if mykid died on my watch, I
certainly would be affecteddeeply like that and it wasn't
until the book was published,which was 2020.
My mother I think she turned 81or something, 82, something
(09:17):
like that, and that's when shecame to terms with it and she
actually we had a heart-to-heartabout it and she told me you
know, you actually flatlinedmore than once I think it was
three times, because there weremultiple times in the ambulance
on the way to the hospital, sobut that was a really big
bonding moment for she and I.
(09:39):
It was really important thatthat happened, because we have a
much better relationship todaythan I think we ever had really,
and my father's passed, sothere's no going back there.
But I do forgive everyonebecause I get it now I
understand why they were the waythey were, because I understand
why I was the way I was, comingfrom a household of chaos and
(10:01):
anger.
That's what I knew.
That's what I understood thebest right Like I could navigate
chaos.
So if I went out into the worldand whether it was a job or
whether it was with friends orwhatever it was that I was doing
.
If there's not enough chaos,I'm going to create it, because
I can navigate those waters.
I don't know how to navigatenormalcy.
(10:23):
I don't understand that.
That's not natural to me.
Regular love, my relationshipswere a disaster because that's
what I thought was normal work.
To realize that I was programmeda certain way and I had to
(10:46):
reprogram my subconscious mindand to alleviate my egoic mind
so that NDE, though, that wasthe catalyst that started to get
me to move in that direction,even though I suppressed it
Because, like I said, when Itold anybody, I was crazy.
So I tried to justify it insome other way.
(11:07):
So the way I justified it wasthat I probably fell in front of
the window and it was a sunnyday and the sun that was shining
on me, well, that's the whitelight, and I had inhaled so much
gas that I was hallucinatingand that was the being and the
voice and everything else.
So I was able to justify itanalytically and I could put it
(11:32):
away and I could go return toatheism, which is what I thought
I was.
I didn't really, you know.
I just wanted to rebel againstwhatever my parents were so.
I was like whatever you are,I'm going in the opposite
direction.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
You went the way other direction as far as I
could go.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Is there anything?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
after I do, I'll do that.
Negative atheism.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
That's next.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
So it wasn't right away that all of a sudden you
embraced this.
You know, I had this near deathexperience and I have more of a
purpose in life kind ofsituation.
You had to still continue to godown a path and really it was
like meeting your wife, right.
That kind of opened up a lotmore, which, again reading your
book and I feel like I know somuch about you.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
I know We've bonded.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
You're my best friend .
I know We've bonded.
You're my best friend.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Yeah, I felt like I had to put those things in the
book because, you know, part ofovercoming everything is one of
the things that I teach my ownclients is you have to become
whole, and when you become whole, you acknowledge your faults
Everybody.
It's easy to brag about thegood things right but it's
really difficult to brag aboutthe bad things and accept them
for what they are.
And then you're whole and thenyou can move past them.
(12:53):
So, yeah, that took a long timeand after the NDE I think I
told this story in the book Imoved out and got my first
apartment and I just thoughtthat this was going to be great
and I'm like 21, 22, we're goingto have parties all the time
and it's going to be awesome.
(13:13):
And none of that happened,because as soon as I moved in,
it was like the room was alreadyfilled with people.
You just felt like you werebeing watched all the time.
There was these energies that Icould feel pushing up against
my body.
I would see lines going acrossthe white walls because I never
painted them, of course andlittle spirally things over here
(13:34):
, and then my body would shakeand vibrate and anything.
The blender goes on.
I had a PlayStation that waslike my thing.
I had to stay with thatPlayStation because if I did
anything else, something wouldhappen that would scare me.
I would hear things falling inthe other room.
The alarm would go off.
So I must've called themaintenance guy 50 times and he
(13:57):
keeps coming up and he's likelisten, kid, there is nothing
wrong with this place.
It's in your head.
You're effing crazy.
Don't call me again here.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
I am crazy again.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Right, so I can't sleep.
That's the next thing thathappens.
The next stage I cross over, Icome back.
So obviously I bring a wholebunch of a whole crew with me
and they're trying to get myattention and I'm just not, you
know, acknowledging them becauseI'm trying to explain to them I
don't believe in you, you'renot real, I'm an atheist.
(14:28):
Go away.
So I start using massiveamounts of drugs and alcohol to
go to sleep because I can'tsleep, and that started and
became a problem for like 10years.
Um, and also during those 10years, I think in the back of my
mind, I knew that I had died,like I kind of.
I kind of knew it, but I justwasn't ready to say it.
(14:51):
Um, so I didn't fear death.
And coming from a home of chaos, being in my young twenties,
using tons of drugs and alcoholand not being afraid of death,
that is just the recipe fordisaster, right?
So I put myself in the worstplaces that anybody could
possibly put themselves in,where I could potentially die
(15:24):
over, and that being wouldpresent himself or herself and
tell me how to get out of thesituation.
And I don't know why.
I am not special, I'm just aregular guy with a really messed
up situation.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I'm sure they're like we sent you back.
You asked to go back, we sentyou back.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
You owe us, you're not done yet.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
You have a new purpose now, right, you can't
come back yet.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
You know, I had this one time.
I was working for some shadycharacters and because you know,
I would kind of really push theenvelope, you know, up the ante
and try to get closer andcloser to death.
And so it was like a late night, sit down amongst the shady
characters and I didn't knowhalf of them.
I knew some of them and I wasleaving work.
(16:17):
I worked there.
It was a bar and I worked thereand I was just.
Somebody asked me for a drinkand I looked at the boss, he
gave me the head and on I waslike okay.
So I poured him a drink andsomebody else calls out for
something else and I had to getit out of the liquor cabinet
that was locked up.
I looked for the nod.
He goes yeah, okay.
I said okay, I can get it.
And I go down to get it and Ihear pop, pop, pop, pop, pop,
(16:38):
pop pop.
And I'm staying here because I'mgoing to try to figure out how
am I going to get the hell outof here without the shooter or
shooters seeing me, and thevoice says side door, side door.
And I'm like how am I going toget to?
(16:58):
I can't get there without beingseen it's not possible.
So finally I got to dosomething.
So I go for it.
I go for the side door and thenjust getting out that door is
not good enough, because youhave to make a left and go down
this like long corridor I wouldsay it's like 40, 45 feet.
You get to the next door andthen that's the fire exit to
(17:19):
outside.
So obviously I made it.
But here's what's really crazy.
Like I parked my car rightoutside that door and I never,
ever, parked there.
In fact, I had an assignedparking space on the other side
of the building but for somereason I parked there.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
I have no idea.
I mean now.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
I know, but I didn't know at the time.
Yeah, and I was able to escape,I was able to get out of there.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Crazy stuff, that kid in the ocean and you kept
getting pushed out until andthen, finally, you said you
heard a voice that said swimsideways.
Looking back on that now, is itthe same voice.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Absolutely, absolutely, yeah, there's no
question.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Do you think you relate it to being and I'm air
quotes, you guys can't see this,but God talking to you, or more
of a guardian angel or a guide?
What do you see it as?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I believe it's a spirit guide that kind of had my
back all these times.
Why, Again, I don't know, butI'm going to say he, for lack of
a better word she is still withme.
You know like we cancommunicate and I figured out as
I, as I learned more about theprocess.
(18:46):
Learn more about mediumship andother you know intuitive things
and and so I learned how to getin touch and how to where he is
like on my.
I have a map in my mind andthird eye and I know exactly
where he's located, becauseeverybody has their spot.
They don't leave their spot.
You get to learn.
(19:06):
So he has his spot and I knowwhere he is and I know how to
reach him and I go to himquestions all the time it's hard
to communicate because guidesare on a different frequency
than just like the regular dead.
We'll say right, they're easierto communicate with, but a guide
(19:27):
is up at a higher level.
And if we call this the thirdrealm, we'll say the next one is
the fourth, when people firstcross over.
And then the fifth is like youknow, if you, I think and this
is just my theory is that if youbecome enlightened on earth,
you don't go back and do it allover again, you go to five, and
(19:47):
that is where you can reallyhelp people, and I'm sure it's
not just people, I'm surethere's other.
You know they have a lot ofwork to do, I'm sure, but that's
my guy and he's always beenthere.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
But that's my guy and he's always been there.
Going back to your near-deathexperience and that conversation
.
Following that or more so,following like after you've
learned a lot of things have youdiscussed with other people
that have had near-deathexperiences, their experiences
as well, Like doing comparisonsand seeing you know?
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Oh yeah.
Yeah, but it took a lot of yearsto find somebody.
Remember, I was 20, so I'mgoing to show my age now.
We didn't have computers, wedidn't have cell phones, we
didn't have any of that Right.
So there was no place for me togo look, except if I wanted to
drive to the library and looksomething up which I didn't
really think was going to behelpful.
So a lot of years went bybefore I took that back out of
(20:46):
that box that I had sealed it upin and I really didn't have a
reason to address it.
So my first marriage I was like30 and I had two boys
immediately from that marriage,like year one, year two, boom,
boom, two sons.
And now my attitude has tochange towards everything,
(21:07):
because now I have a reason tolive and I have a reason that I
must for them.
So I clean up my act, I go torehab, I check myself in, I go
back to college.
After that, I complete mydegree, I get a great job, I get
another great job and anothergreat job.
I do well and my kids get youknow everything they need Not
(21:30):
everything they want, buteverything they need.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
And maybe some of it Maybe some of it, we know.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
You can tell what I'm so but they, they changed me,
like they were the catalyst thatreally made me change
everything about myself and tryto start bettering myself.
That marriage fell apart veryquickly, but the kids, they were
still with me for a long timeand you know, I had some done,
some dating here and there, butit was nothing serious and I
didn't want it to be seriousbecause I didn't want to bring
(22:07):
another woman into their livesand you know it would affect
them.
So I waited a very long timebut then eventually they were
older and I felt like they couldhandle it and so I went online
to meet somebody could handle it, and so I went online to meet
somebody.
And when you do this and I'msure none of you have ever done
(22:27):
this, but I have had to do thisand you go online and they give
you examples of women that arein your area, so to try to get
you to join the site right, andthere were four pictures on this
one particular site.
I went through tons of sites.
It was just one after anotherand they give you the examples
and I just kept moving on,moving on, moving on.
Finally, I get to this one siteand the third picture down.
(22:48):
I was like stunned.
I was just like it was morethan just a physical attraction.
It was like I know her, she isme, she's my wife.
I know her.
So I joined the site and I sentone email.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
That's it to her.
That was it.
I told her I was like this iskind of funny.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
I said so, yeah, right, like this is really going
to sound crazy, um, but uh, butyou're my wife.
You just don't know this yetand, by the way, my name is Ray.
Would you like to get together?
And I did it in a much funnierway, I even copied and pasted it
and put it in a book.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
It's pretty funny.
She thought I was completelynuts.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
And she said ah, you're crazy.
And I said yeah, no, I know, Iknow, and we did meet and we are
still married and we're stilltogether and we are definitely
soulmates.
There's no question about that.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
That's a hell of a pickup line.
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
I don't.
I don't know if it would work.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I don't recommend that one in hindsight but, you
know, at the time it seemed likethe right thing to do.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
It worked for you.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
But she really opened you up to spirituality.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yeah, she did so when we first started to get like
serious.
Um, one of the questions that Iguess you ask is so you know,
what are your spiritual orreligious beliefs?
And she had asked me thatquestion and I was like um, what
are yours?
Because, I just would have saidyes, that's me too.
(24:32):
Yeah absolutely Um so, but shewas smarter than that.
So, um, and I said, honestly, Idon't know.
I said because, by this point Ireally don't know, I still
hadn't met somebody who had anNDE to your question earlier, so
I wasn't really addressing it,I was just kind of putting it
(24:54):
off and putting it off and Isaid, you know, it's really been
on my list of things to do isto look into this and figure out
, you figure out what happened.
And I didn't even tell her Idon't think I had told her about
the NDE just yet.
It's still a very earlyrelationship.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
First date I almost died, or I died.
First date I did die.
Sorry, nice to meet you.
I see dead people.
Nice to meet you.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
It's not a good conversation breaker.
How's the salmon?
I see dead people and you.
So she says to me yourbirthday's coming up and I'm
going to buy you a spiritualclearing.
And I said, wonderful, what thehell is that, you know?
I said, is it a massage?
She goes, not at all.
And I said terrific.
(25:41):
So she goes.
In fact, you don't even have tobe there.
It's distant.
She'll call you on the phoneand tell you what's going to
happen and blah, blah, blah,blah, blah.
Okay, so we're going to havecake.
I want to get something out ofit.
I don't believe in any of thisstuff.
I don't know what that is.
I'm just going with the flow,because she's hot and I like her
, so I'll agree to basicallyanything.
(26:02):
So the clearing happens.
Then I'm at work and the womancalls me up who's doing it?
And she says don't make anyappointments, don't make any
life-changing decisions for thenext 48 hours and don't have any
appointments today.
And I was like, okay, I wasvery polite, I was like thank
you very much.
And I hung up the phone and shecalled me back and I think it
(26:23):
was 90 minutes later or so andshe said okay, I'm done.
And she told me all the thingsthat the chakra, that chakra,
this energy, that energy, and Isee this and you need to get
back to this and told me a wholebunch of things that actually
didn't make sense at the time,but they did weeks later and
that was a big issue.
So she said if you feel strangefor the next 24 hours and it's
(26:47):
really bad, just call me if youcan't tolerate it.
And I'm like, okay, whateveryou, what do you say?
All right, thank you very much.
And I hung up the phone andwithin about 10 or 15 minutes I
get up from my office chair togo to the bathroom and all of a
sudden my equilibrium is justway off.
You know, it's almost like youhad to drink too fast and you're
(27:10):
like Whoa.
So that's the way I felt.
And then I started to feel theenergies again, the ones that I
thought, kind of let me be.
And now here they are and it'slike I'm back in that apartment
again and I'm repeating thiswhole thing all over again and
I'm like son of a gun.
This is just like crazy, youknow.
So up until that point, theenergy beings that I have seen
(27:35):
keep in mind, I never saw myguide only saw lines.
It was just squiggly lines,that's it.
That's the closest thing I'veever seen to anything.
But after this occurrence, thisis the first time I see an
energy being in the form of ahuman.
Now this really freaks me outto say the least.
(27:59):
So the guy is now I'm not seeingthis with my eyes.
And when I say seeing andhearing, you guys know it's
third eye stuff, right?
Speaker 3 (28:07):
It's all inside.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
I'm not hearing it, I'm not seeing it with my eyes.
So it's like a movie screenthat kind of opens up.
I describe it inside my mindand then there'll be an actor or
actors on the movie screen, butthey're talking to me and in
this case it was a big, huskyguy and he had a beard and a
mustache, thick black hair, andhe says it looks me right in the
eye and he says I messed up.
(28:31):
No, I effed up is what he said.
I made a mistake.
You can help her.
I cannot, and I'm like, lookingaround, anybody else hear that
and nobody's reacting.
So I guess I'm the only onethat saw and heard that.
And I continue to the trip tothe bathroom and I'm just there
and doing my thing and then herehe is again and I'm like I'm in
(28:53):
the bathroom, dude, he's like IF'd up, I made a mistake.
You can help her.
I could.
He's very powerful and he's inmy face, a little off center,
the most closest to center I'veever experienced, which is very
unusual.
Um, so this continues on and onand on.
(29:15):
I'm getting a headache and Ijust I don't feel well.
It's a Friday and I go homefrom from work and I figure I
got the weekend, I can rest.
Maybe I'm coming down withsomething the next morning.
However, as soon as I get outof bed, there he is again the
same guy saying the same thingover and over again.
It felt like every hour on thehour.
(29:36):
He was just repeating himself.
Now, now I start to think likesomething's really wrong here.
I don't know what's going on.
I don't even attribute this tospiritual clearing, because I
don't even know what that is yet.
I don't really even kind of I'mnot putting that together.
So the day goes on, it getsworse and worse, and then by
(29:57):
Sunday it seemed like he wasthere every five minutes and it
just would not stop.
And now I can't talk to people,I can't drive well, and the
breaking point was I was in thestore and I was paying for my
stuff.
I don't know what I did.
Maybe I paused, I don't know.
But the lady behind the countersaid sir, are you okay?
And I said no.
(30:20):
No, I'm not, I am not.
And I took my card back and Iwent to the car and I'm like I
can't believe this, like I'mreally, am crazy, and and and
now, uh, I just put my head downbecause I was like I busted my
ass, I went back to school, Iwent into rehab, I did
everything right, got a greatjob and it changed my whole
(30:40):
world.
And now it's gone.
It's going to be gone and Istarted making sure I had
provisions for my children, Imade sure my will was in order,
I made sure I had a DNR, becauseI am going back to that light
baby.
I am not coming back to thisplace ever and, for the record,
my father never did hug me again.
So I made the wrong choice.
(31:01):
So I'm really thinking this isthe end, this is the beginning
of the end.
My father never did hug meagain, so I made the wrong
choice.
So I'm really thinking this isthe end, this is the beginning
of the end of my life.
So now I've got to tell thiswoman that I love, because she
has the right to know that she'sdating a crazy guy, and I don't
know how to tell her this.
And what makes this even worseis that, for a living, she is a
(31:22):
doctor of psychology andneuropsychology.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Oh yeah, yep, yeah Of course she is.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Of course, what else would she be so, couldn't you?
Speaker 3 (31:34):
be a psychiatrist.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Anything.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
So I'm going to tell a doctor of psychology Hi, how
you doing?
I see dead people.
How's the salmon?
Yeah, she's going to go check,please, you know.
But I have to tell her and I dotell her, and I explain the way
it happens and how I get thevibrations first, and then I see
the lines and then all of asudden, the movie screen opens
up and here's this guy I'venever seen before Big, husky guy
(32:00):
, beard, mustache, dark hair.
And he says I effed up, I madea mistake.
You can help her, I cannot.
And she's looking like herwheels are turning, she's not
scared yet and I'm just waitingfor it.
And she goes hmm, that soundslike my dad.
And I said wait a minute, waita minute, your dad's dead.
(32:21):
You told me he died.
Now I'm thinking you're nutsand I'm getting out of here.
Check, please Do you think I'mseeing dead people?
So she says, relax, you'reprobably a psychic medium and
you don't know it.
I said, what the hell is amedium?
She goes I've been to plenty ofmediums and my dad comes
(32:42):
through and he's very powerful,just like you said.
He's almost front and center.
In fact, he made one of thegreatest mediums in the world
almost come to tears and I waslike, well, this guy definitely
has drive me to tears.
But here's the thing it's notyour dad, because I saw that
picture that you have over thefireplace on the mantle.
I saw that photo Very clearly.
(33:03):
It does not look like that manat all and she goes well, that's
a very old photo.
Let me show you what he lookedlike before he died.
And she goes through her phoneand she shows me a picture and I
said, holy crap, you know thatguy.
And she goes that's my dad.
Silly.
And now my heart is just like inmy stomach.
I don't know what to do withthis now.
So insanity I understand.
(33:26):
Mediumship I have no concept of.
So I almost would prefer thisinsanity in this moment, because
it's not unknown and becauseI've been told that my whole
life anyway.
So it's just, you know, an addon.
But now, what is this mediumthing and what am I supposed to
do with it?
(33:46):
So she said um, before you getall you know worked up over this
before, like you know, I'm notworked up or I I'm sweating
Sweat's coming down on my faceand she's like there's a very
reputable medium that's comingto our area.
She travels around.
She's going to be staying in,you know, two cities away from
(34:07):
us.
I'll make us two appointments.
You could go in and discusswhat you see and just kind of
bounce it off her.
She'll tell you what it is, ifit is what it is or not.
And I was like that's a greatidea, not the thing that I was
expecting.
I was expecting here's a doctor, call him.
Never call me again.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Have a nice life.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
But no, that's not because this was my soulmate and
she knew better and she knewexactly how to handle the
situation, and so I met with her, I met with the medium.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
What a story I mean seriously and, like you said, to
meet your wife and theacceptance of it, and it is
exactly where you needed to be.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
The universe put you where you were supposed to be,
and her too, because she neededthat information that I gave her
, and as soon as I told her too,because, like this, all she
needed that information that Igave her, and as soon as I told
her that he was gone which isone of the things I didn't
understand yet, right?
So when I do meet with themedium, we talk about this and I
(35:09):
explain.
You know, I introduced myselfHi, I'm Ray.
And she goes oh, you're thatway.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Oh, now I'm Ray and she goes.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Oh, you're that way and she goes what brings you
here today, ray?
And I said I'm absolutely crazy.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Really Me too.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
She goes, what happens?
I said I see people that aren'treally there.
She said really Me too.
There's more of us Right rightand I was like so you're nuts
too.
She goes absolutely have a seat, let's talk.
And she goes, tell me whathappens.
And I told her vibrations andthe lines and the thing and the
movie screen, blah, blah, blahand she goes too.
(35:53):
She goes in fact that's the waymost of us see it and I'm like
see what?
Speaker 1 (35:59):
Dead people.
She didn't say dead people butspirit.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
She said spirit.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
Spirit, yeah, energy beans Right.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
I call them energy beans Right right, right yeah.
So she takes me under her wingfor the first year of me going
through this and she didn't eventeach anymore.
She had no intention ofteaching anymore, but she saw
this guy that was a mess and sheconfided in me that when she
was very young, that her parentshad her committed as a
(36:28):
schizophrenic and I was like, ohmy god, I just met somebody who
understands me and I justhugged her.
I was overwhelmed that after Ithink I was 46 years old or
something like that I finallyfound somebody who didn't see me
as crazy.
And not only that, but sheunderstood me and she went
(36:50):
through a lot of the same thingsthat I did and we bonded in
that moment and, thank God, shereally took to me and because
she saved my life withoutquestion she saved my life.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
It's such God.
It's just such a beautifulstory and I'm so inspired by it
because I think a lot of us canbe sensitive to energies and we
tend to block it because it canbe scary.
It can be.
You know what is going on.
Am I crazy?
Like you said, I know formyself.
I put boundaries up.
(37:25):
I tell the universe and theenergies out there all the time
you're welcome here, no negativeenergies.
You know we're protected, butdon't do anything scary and
don't scare the shit out of myfamily.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Do not scare my wife, because I will kill you Silly
me.
That really happened.
We were in a hotel room.
There was like 12 of us thatgot together and we were
studying mediumship and mymentor at the time she was
running the show and so to speakand we all went down there and
when we got back we were justwiped out.
(37:57):
We worked from like I don'tknow it was very early in the
morning to pretty late in theevening and we did so many
different exercises and I wasjust exhausted and I just laid
down and my wife was there too,the whole time through
everything and she's almostfalling asleep and I'm like the
room is filled and she's likeshe doesn't flinch anymore.
(38:18):
At this point she's almostfalling asleep and I'm like the
room is filled and she's likeshe doesn't flinch anymore.
At this point she's like whatare you going to do?
I said I'm going to go to sleepand I closed my eyes and I went
into a little brief meditation.
I'm like, guys, listen, I'mexhausted, get out of my room.
And one of them touched my legand I don't want to freak
anybody out here, but you,mother, I just jumped out of bed
(38:39):
, didn't lose my anger yet I'mstill you know, that's exactly
what I said.
I will kill you, I will, andshe's like honey uh that's not
going to scare him.
You got to come up withsomething better than that.
Something else, yeah, and so Isaid the worst thing I will
never help you.
(39:00):
That's what I said.
I will never help you If youscare me, my wife, my kids or
anything like that.
You will never get my help and,ultimately, that's what they
want.
They want you to pass a messageto somebody else and when you
pass the message, they're gone.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
Yeah, you know they don't even stay your friend
anymore.
I'm out of here.
Peace out.
Yeah, Do you still consideryourself an atheist after coming
?
To jail no no no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
That's gone.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
So do you consider yourself spiritual, do you?
I mean yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
Yeah, I mean I don't subscribe to any particular
religion.
I think they're all.
They have their good stuff andtheir bad stuff and you know,
and they've morphed into thingsover years, you know.
So there's a lot of fallacy inthere and it's not cool to draw
people into something like that.
But overall I'm spiritual, Irecognize there's an afterlife
(39:58):
and I can you know I don't knoweverything about it, but you
know, I know a pretty goodamount.
After that had occurred when Imet my first mentor, the first
year with her came to an end andit's my birthday again and my
wife says what do you want to dofor your birthday?
And she goes why don't we goaway?
I said, yeah, that sounds great.
She goes what do you want to dofor your birthday?
And she goes why don't we goaway?
I said, yeah, that sounds great.
She goes what do you want to do?
(40:18):
An island or Florida, a beachor something?
I was like, no, I want trees.
I want, like, trees and a tentand an outhouse.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
And she's like great.
Okay, you sound like a vacationto me.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
I've created a monster.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
And that's what we did.
We got a cabin in the middle ofnowhere and we just meditated
the whole weekend.
And it was just because, youknow, when you're in a city or
you're in a crowded area and youknow, energy is coming at you.
It's coming at you from thedead, it's coming from the
living.
You can feel their emotions,you know.
It's just.
I just want to be with treesbecause they don't fluctuate,
(41:01):
they're just very calm, verycool.
Nothing really bothers them,and I just was attracted to that
.
So we spent the weekend thereand while I was there, something
crazy always has to happen onmy birthday.
So we're there and she pullsout an illustration Somebody had
drawn a picture and she showedit to me and I said wow, that's
(41:23):
your dad.
And she goes yeah, I know.
And I said but no, no, no, no,you don't understand.
That's exactly the way I seehim Like when he's in the movie
screen.
He's wearing that shirt, that's, his hair is like that,
everything is perfect.
That's him.
That's the way I see him andshe goes.
Well, that makes sense, becausea medium drew this no way, and
(41:46):
that was further validation,right that?
What I was seeing was the samething as this man and he's a
spirit artist, he could draw.
I was like, wow, I wish I coulddo that, you, he could draw.
I was like, wow, I wish I coulddo that, I could literally show
you the person I'm seeing.
And I said, who is this man?
I have to find him.
We have to find him.
(42:06):
And we looked him up on thecomputer.
We found his website and itsaid now accepting students for
a two-year mentorship program.
You have to apply by February15th.
That's my birthday, so thedeadline to apply is my birthday
, and that's the weekend thatwe're there.
She's like are you going toapply?
I said, what?
So you fill out thisapplication?
(42:29):
And that's like not even thebeginning, because then you get
the real application and it'slike a hundred pages of essay
questions and how does thathappen?
How do you differentiatebetween this and that?
And blah, blah, blah, blah.
It's very detailed and, um, I'mjust doing my best with it
because I've only had a year oftraining and you know.
But the idea, oh, and thenthere's an interview and then,
(42:50):
after the interview, you getanother application.
So to be in the mentorship isnot like being in a regular
class.
It's for just people that heknows that you're legit.
And it's not that the otherpeople aren't legit, it's just
that they're not as far along intheir learning process, let's
say so.
(43:11):
I submitted my applicationfinally, went through the
interview, did everything, and Ididn't hear anything at all.
Finally went through theinterview, did everything and I
didn't hear anything at all.
And now I'm back to square one,doubting myself, going, wow,
maybe I just got lucky, you know.
Maybe I just, who knows, maybeI dreamt that.
I don't know, you know, I'mjust doubting myself.
In instantly, my ego just comesright in and rips me apart.
And, um, so I called hisassistant just to find out that
(43:34):
I didn't get in Right, and thisprogram was two years, right,
and it was a few thousanddollars.
It wasn't, you know, you hadfull 24, seven access to to a
mentor.
And so I called and she said um, I said I just wanted to
confirm that.
You know, I didn't get it, Iwasn't accepted.
And she goes oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, we didn't finalize it
(43:55):
yet.
There's hundreds ofapplications and hundreds of
people he has to speak to.
I was like, okay, wow, thankyou.
And now this gives you aglimpse into this person,
because you have severalthousand dollars times a couple
hundred people.
Okay, he could have just takeneverybody into the program, said
(44:19):
, yep, you're all real, comeright in.
There were 11 of us and I wasthe 11th.
Speaker 3 (44:25):
Oh, 11.
Yeah 11.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
Eventually it was, I think it was 13 or 14.
A couple more people came inlike week two, came in like week
two, week three, but that wasit.
So he let all that money go.
That's integrity.
And I'm like I'm never leavingthis guy and to this day he's
still my guy and, um, he's mygo-to.
(44:51):
I.
I mentor with other people, buthe's always like the prime
person and he taught us so muchabout not just mediumship but
spirituality, so many otherthings and how the universe
works.
And then I'm the kind of personthat I just get obsessed and I
have to learn everything I couldpossibly learn.
(45:11):
So I went back to college formetaphysics and I did the whole
program.
I did a bachelor's and then Idid a master's and now I'm doing
my PhD in metaphysics and Ilove it.
And then I sought out othermentors who were specific in
energy work and other things.
So I just started putting thesethings together and I also
(45:32):
studied physics, becauseremember the first energy healer
that I told you about, that didthe clearing.
She said you need to get backto astronomy and I was like when
I was a kid I loved the planets, I loved the universe, I loved
everything about it.
And going down that path led medown a path of physics and
(45:54):
learning about energy frequencyand vibration, and I studied
Einstein and Tesla and NielsBohr and Heisenberg and I
started learning about how theyfigured out they really figured
out how the universe works, andyou could take spiritual
concepts and apply them toquantum physics and you get the
(46:16):
answer this is how this works.
It's not woo-woo, and that's theentire second book is showing.
It's not woo-woo.
So I give you the concept, Itell you how I use the concept
and then I tell you what'sbehind the curtain, how Einstein
and Tesla figured this out longbefore we did.
(46:36):
Tesla said you're going to havea device in your pocket that
you can send information to theother side of the world in a
half a second, and it will be sosmall to fit in the size of
your pocket.
That was 1901.
Speaker 3 (46:48):
And here we are.
Yeah, that's the phone, right,yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
And he was a clairvoyant or a psychic
inventor and that's why he diedpoor, because he didn't have any
blueprints.
When they wanted to buy thepatents from him, they're like,
well, where's your blueprints?
He goes blueprints, I justthink about it and I make it and
they're like you're nuts.
And I was like, oh, another one.
They think that's nuts.
So he didn't have the patents,so people would steal his stuff
(47:14):
and he felt like everythingshould be given away for free
anyway and he died.
Westinghouse was kind enough togive him a apartment until he
died, which was in a hotel.
Because he felt bad for him, hebought his final patent from
him.
Speaker 3 (47:29):
I was just going to say I am just so fascinated with
your stories and everythingwhere you've been and what
you've experienced, and I meanwe could seriously talk here for
another hour and I'm just sograteful for you to be on the
show today.
Is there any kind of message orlife lesson that you want to
(47:50):
leave with our listeners?
And just a reminder he's gottwo great books out there on
Audible and for purchase, youknow.
Please look them up.
We've all been exploring themourselves.
So is there anything you'd liketo leave our listeners with?
Speaker 2 (48:05):
Wow, there's so, so many things, but just one, just
kidding.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
Let me ask my wife, because she answers these
questions.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
She gets better advice.
She gets better advice.
No, I mean the one thing that Ilearned that was most important
.
After all was said and done, Ilearned that I'm in control of
my own life.
I am one with the creator and Ican create my own life.
I can create happiness and Ihave a better understanding of
(48:36):
what that is.
And it's not bliss and it's not.
It's being okay when you're notokay.
And creating from thatperspective is not about the
fancy cars, it's not about thefancy houses.
It's simply about being andjust enjoying every moment of
(48:57):
life.
That's just going to be bad,because it's pretty damn good
actually, but enjoy this andcreate and help others with that
creation.
Every day I try to do one thingfor somebody else and I try to
do one thing for myself, becauseself-care is important and
helping somebody else and doingthat over and over creates a
(49:20):
positive karmic cycle and you'llget back what you put out.
So be kind to others and otherhumans and animals, everything,
because it'll come back to youand I think that's most
important.
Speaker 3 (49:35):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
Thank you guys.
Well, thank you Ray, and thankyou to our listeners for tuning
in to this episode.
Go to WMF pod to interact withus.
Podcom, sorry to interact withus and we will see you on the
next episode.
Thank you.
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