February 26, 2025 • 54 mins
We venture into the dynamics of charm and communication within lasting relationships. With humor and honesty, we reflect on what it means to maintain attraction and strengthen bonds in marriage.
• Examining the evolution of charm in relationships
• Reflecting on past experiences and learning from team dynamics
• Conversations on job security, downsizing, and its emotional impact
• The significance of honest communication in partnerships
• Understanding desire and attraction in long-term commitments
• Analyzing a listener's relationship dilemma about lines of comfort
• Drawing humor and insight from playful exchanges on marriage
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Wes (00:21):
you, it's turning that charm on to benefit her and it
it ain't really never benefitingme because I don't you know
what I mean.
Like I'm doing this because Iknow this is the way that she'll
receive it and I fail to do itin a way with stuff that I need
and want so she can receive it.
Do you find yourself doing that?
No, you turn the charm on forthe stuff that you need to or
(00:43):
want, for the stuff I you needto or want.
DeLaw (00:46):
For the stuff I need and want.
Yeah, of course.
Wes (00:49):
I'm fucking up then.
Hey everybody, welcome back toanother episode of the According
to Wes podcast.
As always, we have D-Law herewe have D-Law, the one and four
coach.
DeLaw (01:02):
We won by four feet yesterday, so I take my-.
Wes (01:04):
Yeah, come on, man, four feet.
DeLaw (01:08):
Hey look, I take a win is a win A win is a four feet it's
district heights.
Wes (01:12):
A win is not a.
You got me, Wes.
A win is not a win, Wes.
DeLaw (01:17):
A win is a win Nope.
Wes (01:21):
That's just like Shorty giving you sympathy sex and
you're like yep, I got it.
I don't want sympathy head.
I want to suck the bone offthat motherfucking head.
I don't want sympathy.
DeLaw (01:34):
That sympathy head might be just as good as I like your
head, you don't?
Wes (01:41):
need to believe that, and you know that's a lie.
DeLaw (01:43):
That's because you can see my face.
Wes (01:45):
Yeah, he's sucking the bone .
You don't need to believe thatand you know that's a lie.
That's because you can see myface that I'm saying Sucking off
the bone head is like a wholehell of a lot better.
You got me Wes and D-Law lyingand shit.
A win is a win.
He don't believe that.
What did you say?
DeLaw (01:59):
Do you see us now?
You better not wear that topractice today.
I wear it to practice.
I wear it to the games.
I mean we're playing in PrinceGeorge's County.
It's all neighbors there.
It's just in case the randomwhite person comes.
Wes (02:12):
I'm talking about the forfeit Like they go, think like
you know what.
Maybe we get some more forfeitsunder our belt and man but yeah
, we're playing Kettering thatday.
I was playing.
We always losing to Kettering.
Kettering was hard.
Kettering's a hard team butwhen you were younger you played
(02:33):
for Kettering right, I playedfor Bowie Bowie when y'all
played Kettering.
When y'all was younger, wasKettering hard.
DeLaw (02:38):
Kettering beat us 56-0, if not more.
It got so bad they turned theirscoreboard off, so I couldn't
really determine what the scorewas.
Wes (02:50):
Oh, jeez, oh jeez.
Fuck.
DeLaw (02:53):
You know, there's certain teams that I've played against
and coached against that Ihaven't yet to ever beat.
I beat Poundville.
Wes (03:04):
We beat Poundville.
DeLaw (03:04):
I beat Powderbill.
Okay, we beat Powderbill.
I've lost to Largo every time.
Yep, I've lost to EvangelCathedral's basketball team
coaching and playing.
Damn, I know right.
Um, I lost to.
So far I have lost to CampSprings every time.
(03:28):
Now, camp Springs, yeah, Idon't count teams that I've only
played once.
So, like you know, in footballyou only play the teams once I
played Atlanta.
Laurel is now on my list ofteams I can't beat because they
just beat us.
In basketball I haven't playedagainst.
(03:50):
I played for Bowie.
But when I played for Bowie Iwon a game, but the team when I
got bumped to 85 pounds won nogame.
So I went a season of one winand all losses.
Wes (04:02):
God dang.
DeLaw (04:04):
But if I had stayed 75 pounds, we probably wouldn't
have went on the field.
I was just a different beast atrunning back when I played at
Booty.
But when I moved up to 85, theydidn't want to play me at
running back and I was like youknow, I get why you don't want
to, because of your offense andhow it's fitting when you have
(04:25):
races and motherfuckers like youhave white kids.
But let me run.
Like put me in that backfield,give me a blocker, I'll get you
some yards.
Like let me give me, let meknow I'm being confident, get my
confidence up and let me runthe ball Right.
Wes (04:45):
Yeah, we out there reliving our twilight and our highlights
, but we were just talking aboutthe, the tomfoolery.
Yeah, I was just looking at thenews not too long ago, maybe
like some hours ago.
It was like they got somepeople got those emails
yesterday.
Yeah, it was like they got somepeople got those emails
yesterday.
Yeah, I was like saying yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, what do you?
(05:11):
What have you done in the lasttwo weeks that has been
important this, this and that.
Reply back to your supervisorwith that.
So I was like so, based off ofwhat I did the last two weeks,
that's going to determine if Ikeep my job.
What if this shit is top secretand I can't really tell you
what the fuck I did in the lasttwo weeks?
It's just all the way foolish.
DeLaw (05:34):
Yeah.
So because, like I was saying,I'm like first you made me come
back to work, then I come backto work for you, just to fire me
.
Then, if I'm not part of the000 people that give fire, now
you're saying that on a saturdayafternoon when I'm at a
basketball game or two done ordoing whatever else I'm doing,
and I have no federal agencyphone and I'm supposed to be
(05:57):
checking an email that I I'm notgoing to get until monday to
describe what I did in the lasttwo weeks when we all just did
performance evaluations thatsaid that I was exceptional or
satisfactory.
I'm not understanding whatyou're doing.
It's getting to a point and I'mnot even in the Fed's model.
(06:19):
It's to a point.
Okay, fine, you want to downsizethe government because you feel
like some jobs are useless?
I get it.
Sometimes they make jobs forpeople who they don't want to
lose but they don't want topromote.
So they give you some sort ofjob and you just move up your
grades that way.
Right, that job becomes apermanent job in that fixture,
(06:42):
versus, once that person is gone, just getting rid of the job.
I get that, but then you needto identify well, why was this
position created, then youeither need to reassign that
person somewhere, or also sendall the people to HR and
reassign them to positions, getrid of positions, or however you
got to do it, and then placethem in new positions, or you
(07:04):
better give them the the bestseverance package ever.
Wes (07:08):
Yeah, that's what I thought was uh, they like what the
early talks?
Not that I'm for it, but theywere saying, I mean I am kind of
for it, but they were.
Uh, there were talks like um,they'll have you work the job
for a year, or whatever have youlike, if it's not really needed
, or they give you a severanceand they won't.
But this just seems like it'sjust like I don't think we need?
(07:30):
yeah, I don't think we need thislike the post office.
I'm like if y'all made itbetter than what it is yeah,
this, this to me just seems likea mass firing.
DeLaw (07:41):
I got to get close to my phone oh, there we go.
This just looks like it's amass firing of people, as if
it's a business.
Remember when I told you theywere firing people when I was at
the stockpile, yeah, and theywere like, all right, well, four
people are going to be firedtoday, or no, they didn't say
(08:03):
that.
They told us at the end, fourpeople were fired.
It wasn't due to anything theydid wrong, just that the company
based on blah, blah, blah,we're downsizing.
Businesses do that all the time.
The government doesn't.
That means now you wanteverybody to come in.
You fire everybody to savemoney, but now you're saving
(08:24):
money.
Because now you, you fireeverybody to save money, but now
you're saving money because nowyou don't have to pay that big
salary, but now unemployment hasto kick out all that money.
Also, now, if you're performinglike you said, this from your
FS50 and all that other stuffthat you had going on, now you
might start getting wrongfultermination suits because it's
(08:45):
like, well, I was terminated forwhat?
And the federal governmentisn't an at-will thing.
And then you're going to say Iam not performing my job
efficiently.
When I, just two weeks ago, gotthat, I was exceptional or
whatever the highest thing is.
I just got that.
But I'm not officially doing mymy job.
So that's your's your groundsto terminate me.
(09:07):
You're better off just sayingeveryone that's getting
terminated gets a severancepackage instead of putting a bad
taste in everybody's mouth andpossibly getting lawsuits.
That's going to cost thefederal government more over the
next four to 20 years becausethey're going to be kicking out
that money for a long time.
If everybody decides to file asuit, yeah.
(09:30):
Also, if they have grounds tofile.
They don't have grounds, I mean.
I guess they worry about, butthey really have grounds, like I
think they said.
Wes (09:41):
The email says something like if you don't respond to
this email with what you do bysuch and such Monday or whatever
, then that will be taken as youare resigning they did that on
purpose on a Saturday, becauseit's one of those things where
it's one companies do thatbecause it's non confrontational
or they just like cut, act likethey want to fire you or lay
(10:04):
you off.
They'll just cut your accessover the weekend because they
know you're not working and onMonday when you come in you're
like what the fuck?
And they can either escort youout or remotely tell you.
You know we're moving in adifferent direction, but that
shit's scary because it's kindof like yo like on a Saturday
and a Sunday you could be likeknuckle deep in some pussy
deciding if you're going to pullout or leave it in.
Decided to leave it in.
(10:25):
Now you have a baby coming withno job.
That shit's stressful.
DeLaw (10:29):
Not only that, what if I'm out of town?
What?
Wes (10:33):
if I'm out of the country.
DeLaw (10:35):
I'm taking my leave.
You know I've worked hard.
I'm taking my leave because I'mout in St Lucia.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm out somewhere.
And St Lucia, or you know, sayI'm out somewhere and I'm
looking on the news like what?
And I'm out of the country.
Wes (10:47):
I don't have access to the rest of the country.
Now you're like I ain't buyingthat extra whatever, whatever,
because I might not be able toafford it.
DeLaw (10:53):
Because I might not come back until the following Monday.
And not come back.
Oh, you're not.
You didn't send an email, Iwasn't here.
Yeah Well, you know.
I don't even have a federalagency following, so how am I
supposed to respond?
Wes (11:08):
I'm not even supposed to take that out of the country,
because that's what they tellyou.
You're not supposed to take itout of the country, so it's just
kind of like Anything that'swith your state agency, we're
not supposed to take thatanywhere.
Listen, I work for the countyand they tell us not to leave it
in my home, so it to anywhere.
I work for the county and theytell us not to leave.
DeLaw (11:28):
It's one of those things like wow, is that what we're
really doing?
You're trying to downsize sobadly, but for what?
The question is, with thesefirearms, are we still being
efficient?
Wes (11:41):
Probably not.
I think a lot of this feelslike they want to privatize.
A lot of this feels like theywant to uh uh privatize a lot of
things, like they mightprivatize the post office.
DeLaw (11:50):
They might privatize I mean, that's what.
That's what it sounds like.
It really honestly, it reallydoes sound like if we get rid of
these jobs because I only gotfour more years here when I get
back into business for myself, Ican, you know, get these things
privatized to my friends andget a piece of it when I come
out.
Like it really just sounds likemaking the federal government a
(12:13):
private industry.
Right, it's like, oh well,we're getting rid of, you know,
useless jobs.
Well, what determines a uselessjob?
Wes (12:28):
And not only that.
Sometimes, like, if there's apath forward, to like how, let's
just say, we want to move as acountry into the what they call
the digital age, uh, you mightneed those people for maybe like
a couple years and thenterminate.
This is, I mean, it would havebeen, in my opinion, like if I
voted for the guy.
Uh, I would take we found wherewe can save money, but it's
(12:51):
going to take us two to threeyears in order for this to
effectively move without anyhiccups.
They're going to stay on fortwo to three years and that's
what I'd be like.
Okay, he found the waste.
You know what I mean.
I'm all for finding the waste.
You know what I mean?
Because it's kind of like yo ifit's going to if of finding a
waste.
You know what I mean?
Because it's kind of like yo ifit's gonna if and this is a big
if if things are going to bebetter in the country, which I
doubt, because it's never better.
You know what I mean.
Like then, yes, I'm all forthat.
DeLaw (13:13):
But honestly, I would have pre this.
This is what I, if I was goingto do this and I was going to
downsize the government, I would.
I would have did it on quarterone, which is like October 1st.
Okay, all right, first quarter.
So you announced that, okay,we're going to be evaluating
everything to quarter one.
(13:34):
So every agency has time to geteverything together, follow the
papers, and we're going to seewhat our budget looks like, and
then we're going to look atthese jobs and then we're going
to cut people.
But we're not just firing you,just then we're going to look at
these jobs and then we're goingto cut people.
But we're not just firing youjust because we're going to fire
you.
We're going to give you aseverance package.
And you wait until quarter one,because that's when everybody's
new budget comes in, becauseright now they're technically in
(13:57):
quarter two.
So people's you know thebudgets are set by the time we
get to around this year, by June, they're talking about their
budget for next year to get thatready.
So that's, you need to waittill we got a solidified budget
and now we can say, okay, nowwe're going to lay these people
(14:18):
off.
Instead of firing them, let'slay them off, we'll give them a
severance package so that theycan maintain whatever they need
to maintain, based on the years.
It gives you time to calculateall that shit up.
So you know you could, you,could, you could.
You got ways to do it like allright, if you or how I would
prefer to do you got a certainamount of years and age and it
adds up to something less than90, so, let's say it's 80, you
(14:41):
can get full retirement if yougo ahead and retire on that.
You know what I'm saying.
So now you lose some of your,you get some of your workforce.
That goes all right.
I can get full retirement.
Now Fuck it, I don't want to dothis, motherfucker.
And if it's still not enough,then you start making those
other cuts.
You know you gotta be smart.
You know you can't because theway they're doing it is now it's
(15:04):
like we're firing you.
Wes (15:05):
So now you gotta go get unemployment, which is even less
versus the thing is which iswild they definitely gonna have
to get unemployment because theway, depending on what they did
right, it might be obsolete inthe private sector.
What they were doing because weall know the government is
(15:26):
behind Technology might havealready took the damn job.
So it's kind of like well, whatdo I do if I need to work for
six years before actualretirement or retirement kick in
?
DeLaw (15:38):
That's why I said we lowered about 10 years.
So let's say someone got 20years and they only 45, 46,
let's say, hey, everybody whohas I don't want my retirement
at 45.
This is how you play that game.
Wes (15:57):
Let's just say we go into a recession because of all this
shit, if that was to happen theway you're saying it.
And then we go into a recessionbecause of all this shit, if
that was to happen the wayyou're saying it, and then we go
into a recession.
Those people are probablyworking until they're 70.
That's crazy.
Who wants to do that?
DeLaw (16:15):
That's what I'm saying.
Think of it this way it dependson how much you were making you
get your retirement.
It's probably half of what youwere making at your final time.
That means, let's say, somebodyretires.
They say, okay, you got earlyretirement, you make a 90 grand.
You get 45K a year.
Now you might want to go backto working something hefty to
(16:38):
bring in that type of money, oryou could find something that's
low paying.
They give you the extra 45 andnow you're working something
that's not so bad and you gotyour retirement and you just
chill and answer on the phonesaying hello.
Wes (16:56):
Can I help you?
DeLaw (16:59):
I'm just looking at it from the point of view like
you've got it.
You can't just up and just tellpeople we're going to let you
go, oh, if you're in.
And then, and where they'recutting is like everybody who's
in probation to like three years, all of them being cut, and
they're not havingdiscrimination of probation.
I mean you could have been withthe government 20 years and
just been promoted to being asupervisor of motherfuckers.
(17:20):
You're in probation, so it'slike it's you gotta.
There's a way to do it andthey're not doing it the right
way.
Wes (17:30):
They're not doing the morally, ethically right way.
You know what I mean.
Like things do happen right.
Any entity that's hiring you isnot obligated, but they're
within their rights, uh,downsides, and I mean, they're
completely in their rights.
DeLaw (17:49):
But you, what you should do is leave it up to the agency
to figure out what positions areuseful and let let those you
put you literally put peopleahead.
You know, to head thesedepartments, so they need to
call all their chiefs and deputychiefs, or however they have it
(18:11):
set up, and have that hardconversation.
But look, if you got somebodyon your team that you created a
position for there's a dead endposition because I just didn't
want to let them go are dead inposition because I just didn't
want to let them go, hey, ifthey got enough years, we're
working something out where theycan get their retirement and we
can get them out.
You know what I mean?
We don't have to fire peoplewho just got here because,
(18:35):
imagine, I just transferred tothe feds in July and all this
comes around and it's like wow.
Wes (18:45):
I'm going to tell you like this uh, this is the the feds
would know, as it was one ofthose, uh, holy grail jobs for
me.
Uh, like, just because thenature of what I do, I know I
can make a lot of fucking money.
I think I'm gonna stay clearthat's where I'm at now.
DeLaw (19:01):
It's like the feds used to be that job that if you got
there you don't leave unlesssomeone is offering you double
the money.
You can start out at the lowest, like getting 33.
By the time you're done withyour fed time, you'll get your
(19:24):
six figures.
It might be 20 years timeyou'll get your six figures.
It might be 20 years, butyou'll get your six figures and
your performance review.
You know and that's why I likethe Fed's performance review,
because it got you more moneyRight.
So as long as you had like a topnotch one, you were eligible
for a grade increase or a stepincrease.
So a lot of times they do stepsand then after a certain time
(19:45):
they just give you the grade.
And it wasn't like in the statewhere your pen only lets you go
to that grade.
Like my pen only lets me go toa grade, a specific grade, and
I'm in that grade.
So let's say my pen, let's sayI'm a grade 7, okay, my pen only
allows me to be a grade 7, butI can have all the way up to
(20:08):
step 30.
It's not like the feds theydon't have that where you get
stuck If they put it in likewe're going to give you a grade
increase.
Cool Boom, there's your gradeincrease.
You're going to start at agrade eight, step three, because
(20:30):
you were already at step eightand we don't want to take money
from you.
That's how the Fed works.
The state don't work that way.
The state's a dick, but rightnow it seems like it's a safe
bet to stay here.
You know what I'm saying, butit's crazy.
It's crazy, with more cuts tocome, like you're talking about
(20:52):
and me and my wife were justtalking about it, Like we was
like well, how do you think thisis going to affect the housing
market?
Wes (20:59):
Because Housing market already.
I mean, you know it's already.
I don't know what the fuck itis.
DeLaw (21:04):
To be honest, From a standpoint of if these people
don't find jobs, there's goingto be a whole lot of foreclosed
homes on that, going to auctions, short sales, everything.
You know what I'm saying.
We were like it sucks, but dowe try to take advantage of that
?
We try to take advantage ofother and I'm like we could, but
(21:32):
do we want to?
And if we want to, should we?
We ain't got but so many years.
I think we only got like 60,70,000 that we can have.
We haven't even made it fiveyears.
I told her.
I said man, look, we should doit, let's made it five years.
I told her.
I said man, look, we should doit, let's do 11 more years, 15
(21:52):
years.
That means half of our mortgageis Half of our mortgage
supposedly is supposed to bedone, supposedly.
You're going to see when we getthere.
But by that point if we getloans, we can refinance if the
interest rate is decent and justtake that money, put it back in
(22:15):
the house, pay the house offand keep it raw, and then we can
figure out everything else thatwe want to do, and if we want
to keep this house or we want tostart looking for another house
, if we want to rent this houseout because we're paying taxes
on it and if we decide to getanother house and we decide to
sell this house, we can getanother house.
Wes (22:35):
Yeah, for all that to make sense for you guys, the interest
rate just has to come.
The housing price and interestrate have to.
Even if the interest rate stayshigh as fuck, the housing
prices have to come down forthat to make sense for anybody
right now.
So that shit ain't got shit todo with the government workers.
(22:58):
That has any and everything todo with the companies that build
the houses and hold the that'sholding the property to figure
out what the fuck they gonna do,because if new houses are going
for cheaper than old houses,then old houses have no point,
no, have no.
You know what I mean have nochoice but to lower their
fucking.
DeLaw (23:17):
So I mean because I was just looking at it from a
standpoint of if we can get thishouse paid off and because
someone else was like, well,yeah, it was like it it makes
sense, like after 16 years ofbeing in the house, if you
refinance and then stick Mike,go back into the house and pay
it off, I said, well, it makessense if the interest rate isn't
(23:38):
higher than like a five or six,it makes sense then.
I mean, even though we shouldonly have you know in my head,
after 15 years we should onlyhave maybe $150,000, $125,000
left on the house.
But when we refinance it willbe that from what they were
(24:00):
telling us, it will be that pluswhatever the house is worth.
So they have to appraise thehouse anyway, have to appraise
the house anyway.
So whenever we get back, wemight even get back more than
what we paid and then just throwit back in whatever is left,
keep that for a down paymentsomewhere else and then if we
decide to move somewhere elseand live there and we don't feel
(24:20):
like market sell it, we takewhatever $300,000, whatever.
You know what I'm saying.
Money comes with that stuff.
So whatever our home is like atthat point, we can now make it
into our dream home of, let'ssay, we got a split level with
no deck.
Oh, let's get a deck.
Let's get a new kitchen, let'sdo this, let's do that.
Whatever's left.
(24:42):
You know what you want to justget some new cars.
Let's get new cars and go getrid of.
You know, keep these for likeregular use and then let's get
these.
You know something like you.
You know, but that's yeah in my, yeah, I've been in.
Wes (24:55):
Um, my whole thought process has changed with that uh
, lately, because I got money inthe stock market.
I got, uh, a little differentthings going on.
So right now, um, I first wastrying to see if I can rent the
house.
So I don't think I'm going thatroute anymore.
Uh, not right away, at least.
Uh, so right now it's more orless like uh, like, like you're
(25:18):
saying, like, how do I pay thishouse off?
So, um, it's going to be, orhow do I get closer to, like you
know where the shit don'tmatter.
Like I might got like fiveyears and still got a lot of
earning potential.
A lot of you know that's justsaying I'm 45 and I got five
years left on the house.
That's, that's pretty good.
So I'm trying to get to figureout it, not figure out.
(25:39):
I'm trying to get to that pointbecause, like you said, when,
if and when the time comes, Iwant to be able to move the way
I want to move.
And then I think about, like yo, when me and my wife retire, we
might not even want to stay inmaryland.
Like I don't.
I don't know what that, I don'tknow what that looks like for
me.
I can't.
I can't tell you what thatlooks like in 30 years, but I
want the flexibility to be ableto.
Like the house is paid off or Igot five years left to man.
(26:03):
My camera went out again.
I got five years of that.
What, uh?
What had to?
DeLaw (26:08):
happen.
So that's where I'm at.
It's like, you know, I still.
You know, by the time that youknow, 15 years on, this house
was I'll still be working.
My wife was still working.
So I'm looking at it from thestandpoint of if we can pay this
house off.
You know, however, we gotta do,because I mean, like someone
told me it was like hey, if yourefinance, they're going to
appra Cause.
I mean, like like someone toldme it was like hey, if you
(26:28):
refinance, they're going toappraise it and blah, blah, blah
, you still got paid a down,closing costs, whatever, but you
can take that out, whatever'sthere, and then it might all
just pay itself off.
You might have some money lefton the back end.
Keep that money, money so thatyou can pay off other shit, so
that when you're like, alright,retire this house, call your
(26:48):
realtor, you know, and startlooking for houses, and then
they start saying, oh well, youknow, you have $300,000,
$400,000 you can use whatever,cool, fine, whatever.
And then we do that, getanother house, and then we can
sell this house, sell this houseand then, whatever money we get
, either we can remodel ourhouse, take half of it, pay down
(27:11):
part of it, take all of it, putit on to our new house,
refinance again to change thepayments, get whatever money's
coming out of it.
There's ways to make that moneywork.
Yeah most of them.
There's ways to make that moneywork, but the first thing is
getting this house paid off, andif we can do that, the skies
(27:34):
will be big, you know.
Wes (27:37):
Yeah, that's my main thing, because it seems like this
economy is in for a whirlwindthey're talking about with all
this stuff.
It probably will somewhattrigger a recession and I'm like
, well, shit, the, the way wegot stuff set up and the way you
know, the way everything is,it's it's best for us to uh,
(27:57):
kind of stay here yeah, becausethat's what I was saying to my
wife.
DeLaw (28:00):
I said it's better for us to stay here right now, but we
don't know what's about tohappen.
We don't know how theseinterest rates are going to
change.
We don't know what's about tohappen.
We don't know how theseinterest rates are going to
change.
We don't know nothing.
So our best bet is to ride outthis Trump time.
Wes (28:16):
And see what happens after the Trump time.
DeLaw (28:19):
You know, at that point we'll be at eight years in this
house, because we got in thishouse when Biden first got in.
So we'll be eight years at thishouse right now and then, at
that point, what's?
Another four to eight years inthis house, yeah, you know what
(28:41):
I'm saying what's?
another four to eight years, andby that time, whatever we
decide to do to try to pay someof this stuff down, that'll be
paid off.
We should be paid off Done withthe timeshares.
You know what I'm saying as faras those paid off, so we start
being able to save money.
At that point, credit cardsmight not be paid off, but they
(29:01):
should be coming down, dependingon how we're doing it, and we
should be able to move how wewant to move.
Now you might have to get inbetween all this time.
You might have to get new carsand shit like that, but you
cross that bridge when you getthere.
Wes (29:17):
Right.
DeLaw (29:19):
But never mind, I need to call Discover and see if they
got any promos for some 0%interest.
Part of me thinks I should havetook it last time, but I didn't
.
I went the lower APR score.
I went from a 28.9 to an 18.9,so I'm 10 points down.
(29:40):
I took it because I didn't haveas much debt as I have now on
that credit card.
Now I'm at the point whereevery time I pay it, even when
it put the interest on it, goesback in a negative.
So now I'm like man, I needthat 0% interest yeah.
Wes (29:57):
The only time 0% interest really is in your favor is if
you're able like you know youabout to pay this bitch off.
So you let you know, youtransfer the credit and then you
, whatever it's going to be fromthat point, you but like if you
like, and I only pay like ifyou want, if you know you're
going to pay more than theminimum is what I meant to say.
But if you just paying, youknow that shit.
DeLaw (30:17):
Go pay the minimum you just pay the minimum, then it's
going to be zero percentinterest.
Yeah, but I don't think wellright now because how high it is
, I have to pay just just aminimum.
So for me I'm like, if I do, 0%interest and I can start
chipping away at it without thatinterest kicking back on.
Wes (30:34):
You better make sure you pay it off within that time
frame.
DeLaw (30:38):
Look, that's a lot of money.
I'm just trying to get it downa reasonable amount so that when
that 18.9 kicks back and afterthat 12 months, then my payments
start at $600.
They will be like $400.
You know what I'm saying.
(30:58):
And then, like you know, everysix months you can ask the
scumbag what promos you have andthey'll say, oh, we have this
problem.
And if they keep saying we gota zero percent interest, then we
don't want to do, yeah, trueinterest until I get it down to
where you know it's manageable.
(31:18):
Yeah, you gotta do what yougotta do.
Wes (31:22):
Yeah, I got um, I got a question for you.
Do you think when you getmarried as a man, the art of the
art of quote, unquote, mackingor having game is diminished, or
(31:43):
you think we should always bepracticing that towards our
wives of course diminished, oryou?
DeLaw (31:47):
think we should always be practicing that towards our
wives.
Of course, I don't think itever gets a minute.
Wes (31:50):
I think, uh, from what I can see, that's what they still
expect the macking some of thatback in his new line, though
back in the day they, they stillwant you to act like they, as
you talk about they can, so theystill want you to be able to do
(32:12):
it.
DeLaw (32:13):
They just don't want you to do it, nowhere else.
Wes (32:15):
No, understandable, I'm not saying that, I ain't saying
that.
DeLaw (32:18):
Because it's been told to my wife, even though we gonna
do it like like you ain't evensmooth about it, I'm just
looking at her like maybe we'remarried.
Wes (32:27):
Yeah, well, that's the approach.
DeLaw (32:29):
I be taking.
Wes (32:30):
I'm like, well, I gotta be smooth, like I just try to get
somewhere.
You're brushing your teeth andyou let me Like that ain't
nothing smooth about that.
DeLaw (32:42):
See, that's the spontaneousness of it.
Wes (32:45):
Still, I ain't come to her and say, girl, put that
toothbrush down.
I know your breath alreadysmelling good and you know I
ain't come to her like that wassome stupid shit and then wipe
the toothpaste off the side ofher mouth and then you know what
I mean.
DeLaw (32:58):
I ain't do that, I'm just saying I think it's tough
because women and men have twodifferent ideas of how things
are supposed to go.
Of course, women enjoy beingchased, regardless of whether
(33:20):
they're married or not.
Once they're married, eventhough they're like, oh OK, I'm
settling down, but really theylike, they want to still be
chased and look like they feellike they're being desired.
And guys, you know, once we didall the chasing and everything
else we're trying to provide andand just not be stressed out,
and just you know it's twodifferent, two different ways of
(33:44):
how the relationship goes.
So what about?
Wes (33:46):
the, uh, the mind fucking part of the, the back end, and
so what about the mind-fuckingpart of the back end of the game
and stuff like that?
You know, like sometimes womenbe like not, I imagine I've
heard I've been in theconversation, outside of the
conversation like, oh, you know,sometimes when I want him to do
this or this, this, and that Ijust do this, this and this, so
(34:07):
as when we were dating, right,men dating, we know what that is
, you know what I mean.
Like that's kind of like partof our game, our mac and shit
like that.
So the mind fucking part.
You think enough of us still dothat with our, our wife, or
just like yo, it's gonna be whatit's gonna be, or'm going to
just say it and you know what Imean.
(34:28):
She need to take it for what itis.
Hey, I ain't saying get yourselfin trouble, I'm just saying do
you think the majority of?
Because I know what I do.
I kind of flip-flop, but when Iflip-flop it's never from my,
when I flip-flop to the Mac andshit, it's never for my benefit,
the shit that.
(34:49):
This is what fucks me up, thestuff for my benefit.
I just be straight forward withit or whatever?
Have you not caring how I comeout and I either get what I want
or I don't?
See, I don't know if I do needthat it's kind of like trying to
trick your wife into eatingvegetables.
Sometimes that's how it is overhere is just like yo.
This is why you should be doingthis.
You want your butt to look alittle, you know.
I mean like that type of thing,not necessarily that, but you
(35:10):
get what I mean.
Like I'm always turning thatcharm on to benefit her and it
ain't really never benefiting mebecause I I don't.
You know what I mean.
Like I'm doing this because Iknow this is the way that she'll
receive it and I fail to do itin the way with stuff that I
need and want so she can receiveit.
Do you find yourself doing that?
(35:31):
No, do you turn the charm on forthe stuff that you need to or
want.
DeLaw (35:37):
For the stuff I need and want.
Yeah, of course.
Wes (35:40):
I'm fucking up then.
I'm fucking up then.
DeLaw (35:44):
I mean because, think about it, Think from this
perspective when does anyoneturn on the when we were dating,
unless they try and get some?
Wes (35:55):
So I ain't talking about for trying to get some that's,
that's, that's one of the things, right.
DeLaw (35:59):
But I'm I'm just saying in general.
So think about it.
Yeah, let's say, your wife inthe mood, right, yep, right.
So she come down in her.
You know, you know when she inthe mood, because she don't come
down in her full PJs, she comedown in the mood.
She come down in her jeans withthe little shorts on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little bit.
(36:21):
She doing exactly what she didwhen we were dating to make sure
she got hers to satisfy you,along with on the other side of
it.
It'd be like man, I'm trying toget his head you start.
Hey, well, you know what youdoing, baby.
Let's, let's, let me kiss youreal quick.
Let me rub a point get gettingher a nice and tingly.
You know what I'm saying.
Use it when you, use it forwhen you want to use it when you
(36:43):
, when you don't need to be used.
A lot of times people just belike all right, I guess they
don't need to be used.
Wes (36:46):
A lot of times it was like, all right, I guess they don't
need to be used like that on myside, because, like, I still get
the same, because you could doall the the sweet shit and she'd
still be like, and I got somestupid shit, like I got a
headache, quote, unquote.
You know what I mean?
Well, not tonight.
You know what I mean?
No, that don't happen.
DeLaw (37:01):
Hey, I'm fucking up, yeah my wife ain't never said she
had a headache or no shit.
Wes (37:08):
That's usually my dumb ass like yo, because I like let's
just say I'm six years, she'llstill want the shit.
I'm like yo, I can't breathe.
She was like you're all right,I'm like I'm all right, I can't
breathe out my nose.
So the reverse would have comeof shit like that.
DeLaw (37:24):
Why you ain't never said nah, you gonna be a mouth
breather that day, right.
Wes (37:31):
Outside of the other shit.
She's definitely said no to abunch of shit and I'm just like,
god damn, maybe if I would've,I should've came with the sweet,
sincere shit first or themind-fucking shit first, and
maybe I would've got what Iwanted.
DeLaw (37:44):
You know your wife better than anybody.
Yeah, of course, at first, andmaybe I wouldn't get what I
wanted.
You know your wife better thananybody.
Even though my wife might notever say it, when she comes down
in certain pajamas, I know whattime it is.
I put these on because they'recomfortable.
Sure you did.
Sure you did Okay.
(38:07):
I'm doing what I'm supposed todo Now.
I want to see if you got alittle.
Sure you did.
Sure, you did Okay.
So it's the.
I'm doing what I'm supposed todo Now.
I want to see if you got alittle bit of game to get these
off of me.
Wes (38:15):
Yeah, it's just like that.
DeLaw (38:16):
It's a green light, don't fuck it up.
Wes (38:18):
You know what I'm saying.
Okay, so the sex part is Iain't gonna say it's easy,
that's our wives.
Yes, I'm going to say it's easy, it's our wives, it's easy.
I know what I need to do.
Like, how do I?
How do I?
Uh, like yo, I want to go outand but I've been going out,
like for the last couple of days.
I've been out three times thisweek and I didn't spend no time
with her.
But I really need to go out tothis particular thing, cause
(38:41):
it's going to be better than thelast three.
So you're wrong, so you justtell her, and sometimes there's
a way where you can just tellher with finesse and there's no,
there's no problems.
When you get back home, youknow what I mean, because if she
(39:03):
had a problem, she has aproblem.
The problem is going to go awaybecause you just told her well,
my wife would tell me if shegot a problem.
DeLaw (39:10):
And then you end up not leaving, so it doesn't benefit
you well exactly if she got aproblem with me, like, let's say
, like next week is a tank fight, right?
Yeah so if she's like well,look, you ain't spent no time
with me and I need that time youwant to tell your fresh dude
(39:30):
that motherfucking better?
Uh, you ain't coming like.
Wes (39:34):
That's just what it is, and it's like you got me on that
one yeah, or you do what I willlook what we talked about before
and you just pay into thebucket way before before time
yeah, I mean, but for me I'm a,I'm a, I'm a very predictable
person.
DeLaw (39:53):
So my wife knows that my niggas are three days, so three
days, so three days.
Wes (39:58):
You pants in a bucket three days before she will be like.
This motherfucker want to dosomething that I'm probably
going to say no to.
DeLaw (40:04):
She'll be like it's Saturday If he's not home by
1.30,.
He went to crazy crap and it'slike all right, you know, if
it's football season, she knowsthat the skims play.
I might be like, hey, I'm goingaround the corner, so it's one
of those things.
I don't deviate from the playor from what I do because of the
(40:27):
fact that I'm just a personthat does the same thing over
and over.
So like, let's say, next week Imight come in at 3 o'clock
because I went to Crazy Crab.
In her head she's like he's atCrazy Crab, so I already know
where he is.
He's probably there with theboys making bets, whatever,
whatever.
And then I might say, hey, babe, you know, still invited us
(40:47):
over for the fight, you mind, ifI go Now, it becomes the well,
you ain't been home all day, orthat's the day of, or it might
be like oh fine, you know,that's fine, because that means
you're gone, my son's gone.
I can have the house to myself,so it might be one of those.
But if I tell her ahead of timeand put it in her ear like, hey,
(41:08):
you know the fight's that nightit's over, you want to go?
Nah, would you be mad if Idon't go?
I'm not going to be mad if Idon't go, I'm not going to be
mad if you don't go.
You don't want to go, you don'twant to go.
It's one of those things where,as long as you're being honest
and you're saying it up front,days in advance, it shouldn't be
(41:29):
a problem, unless you fuck upbetween as days come up.
Wes (41:33):
So listen to this I'm glad that you said being honest
enough.
This lady wants to know if sheis wrong for refusing her
husband's request to sleep withsomeone else to ease his fears
of me cheating.
DeLaw (41:53):
First it took a left and then it took a hard left.
This is a bitch.
She wants to know if she'swrong.
It took a left and then it tooka hard left.
So she so let me put this innigga terms she mad because no,
no, she not mad, she is mad.
She's mad and she wants to denyhis request to cheat after she
cheated.
Wes (42:14):
No, no, no, no.
She ain't cheat, so she didn'tcheat.
No, she is refusing herhusband's request to sleep with
someone to ease his fears, hisinsecurities, of me, of her
cheating.
How does that work?
Let's listen.
So my husband 55, she's 43.
(42:35):
They've been married for a longtime.
She said she loves him deeplyand over the years he struggled
with erectile dysfunction Yep,don't choke and it's clearly
taken a toll on his confidenceand self-esteem.
Recently he opened up abouthaving this irrational fear that
I'll cheat on him one daybecause he feels like he can't
(42:56):
make me happy Because he's stillin love with her, yeah.
Despite my constant assurancethat I love him and would never
betray him, he seems to beunable to shake this fear.
A few days later, he proposedsomething that completely threw
me off.
He asked me to sleep withsomeone with his consent.
What he asked me to sleep withsomeone with his consent so he
(43:21):
could control the situation.
It eased his anxiety about mecheating.
He planned a surprise trip forus last week, which I thought
was really sweet.
During the trip, he arrangedfor a masseur to come up to our
room without telling mebeforehand, saying it was meant
(43:42):
to be a relaxing surprise for me.
The masseur came that eveningand my husband was in the room
watching while the massagestarted.
At first it seemed fine, butthen the masseur started giving
me an intimate massage that feltvery inappropriate.
His fingers was right betweenher cooch.
(44:06):
He crossed a clear boundary.
I immediately stood.
I I immediately stopped him andtold him I was uncomfortable.
My husband seemed completelyokay with the whole situation
and brushed it off as as brushedit off as part of the
experience.
It left me feeling confused andupset, especially now that I
think back on it in the contextof this recent request for me to
sleep with someone.
(44:26):
I told him I wasn't comfortablewith any of this.
I feel like he is pushing meinto situations that make me
question the motives and ourrelationship.
He says this is his way ofaddressing his fears and making
me happy, but it feels wrong tome.
I want to help him, but I alsolike these actions.
(44:48):
I also feel like these actionsare crossing serious boundaries
I'm not willing to break.
DeLaw (44:55):
Well, here's the first issue.
If you suffer from erectileiledysfunction, you need to get out
there and start working out.
Okay, that's the first thing.
He might be diabetic, butthat's the first thing.
Like, that is a, that is alogical.
Uh, piece of advice, yes youknow, like if I got to that age
(45:15):
and my wife is still active andwants to be sexually active and
I can't because I haven't takencare of myself, that I need to
change something so that I can.
You know, that's why I gowalking, that's why I exercise
all the other stuff.
You know what I'm saying.
That's why I do that, so thatby the time it comes for them to
say, look, I know you've beenhealthy, you've been doing this,
(45:36):
but nigga, you're going to haveto take the blue pill At least,
I kind of yeah, yeah.
Wes (45:41):
You did what you had to do.
You did what you needed to do.
I did what I needed to do.
DeLaw (45:45):
So that's the first thing , and I don't know his situation
of.
I agree with all of that Verylogical.
Now the second part is even ifthat happened and I struggle
with and I gotta take thosepills, ain't no way I'm like,
babe, I want you to go letanother dude fuck you, because
(46:07):
what if, what if?
And you know, even though shewas uncomfortable, what if?
She's like okay, cool, whatever, fuck it.
So who you want me to fuckbecause you can't get it up?
Okay, cool, you know you'retreading across a very, very
thin ice because whatever youmight be cool with, let's say,
(46:33):
the dude wasn't that good.
But what?
That dude took it a pound townand she oh my gosh, shit, I
fucking love you.
Wes (46:43):
You still gonna be just sitting in the corner just
looking like okay so some typeof way yeah, me and you will
feel some type of way, very,very logical.
But here's the part what Ithink she's missing that dude
has erectile dysfunction becausemaybe he likes to be the cuck
(47:04):
and he's never been the cuck, sohe can't get it up and he can't
do anything unless that happens.
That's why he was poor.
He probably know, but yeah, heprobably.
Maybe he likes that or hedeveloped the fact that I have
to watch my wife get plowed, orsomeone I know, in order to get
(47:24):
hard.
I don't even think he evenwants to cheat, I don't.
I think he doesn't know thathe's a cuck and she don't know
that he's a cuck and he mightlike cucking behavior.
So all that shit not all theshit all the stuff, what you
were saying very solid advice.
But I don't even think that'sthe advice to give in this
situation, because I'd be damnedif I told him a suit show, go
(47:45):
ahead and play with my wife.
Why are you massaging her?
I'm not doing that.
So the fact that he's willingto force that while he watched,
that's more than the insecurityto me.
I feel like dude is a cuck andhe's trying to put that into
their relationship.
So my advice to you as a womanask him if he like cuck shit,
(48:08):
and if you don't like it, theny'all need to get divorced
because y'all probably not goingto have sex no time soon.
DeLaw (48:12):
I can guarantee you, if that was the situation between
me and my wife and I at UD,she'll look at me like I'm not
about to fuck.
No other dude, get your shittogether or use your mouth yeah,
that was not.
Wes (48:28):
It use your mouth, that always gets me off.
I got you, he's like hey.
DeLaw (48:37):
I forgot about that part.
Wes (48:39):
He don't want that, obviously.
You know what.
DeLaw (48:41):
I mean?
Well, the story is a man is 55,the girl is 43, and he has Edie
and he's telling his wife thathe wants to arrange her to have
sex with somebody else so thathis fears of her cheating can be
alleviated out of his head.
She doesn't feel comfortablewith it, Right, and he set up
(49:01):
this thing with a masseuse tomassage her and he started
playing with her for clitoris.
She got uncomfortable and shewants advice on what can she do.
That's what I said.
If that was the case, my wifewould just tell me you better
get your shit together.
I ain't fucking know what Iwould do there you go.
Wes (49:24):
He enjoys the cucking.
That's all that is.
DeLaw (49:27):
It does look like, because he's at 55, getting
closer to 60, that he probablyeither he watched a lot of porn
back in the day or he just wantsto see her get plowed and
possibly plowed.
Is it plowed, Plowed?
Wes (49:41):
yeah.
DeLaw (49:43):
I'm not using those words .
You know what I'm saying.
That sounds like some whiteporn.
Wes (49:49):
Some white porn Plowed.
DeLaw (49:50):
yeah, he might want to see her have intercourse with
somebody else like in porn andit might get him hard to do it.
Wes (49:59):
So we don't know if he takes any viagra, cialis, any of
that, because even you don'ttell your wife like yo, I need
you to go cheat on me so I canfeel comfortable.
DeLaw (50:10):
Cheat on me in front of me, so I can feel comfortable
that you're fucking somebodyelse.
That's very awkward that to mesounds like a setup.
See, she said, it sounds like asetup.
I was thinking the same thing.
It sounds like a setup.
Wes (50:23):
It sounds like a setup.
I just thought he was a cuck.
DeLaw (50:28):
When you told the story I kind of thought it was like a
setup If she says oh, sure, yeah, and then she goes in there and
fucks the masseuse.
Wes (50:35):
But she said no and then he bought the masseuse up there
anyway.
DeLaw (50:42):
He's still testing her to see her loyalty.
Wes (50:44):
I don't know.
Listen, I don't ever want toput myself in a situation where
the loyalty gets tested.
I'm fucking wrong.
And now I'm sitting there likedamn, she's got that
motherfucking finger on her.
I don't want to be in thatsituation either.
DeLaw (50:58):
Sure, yeah, I had to get Mrs Smith a kiss.
You know I get a lot of workingout and blood work.
I think I look close to some ofthem.
Yeah, I love, yeah, hey look,that's her fault for marrying
somebody 12 years older than her.
Wes (51:18):
Yeah, that's, and I marrying somebody 12 years older
than her.
DeLaw (51:19):
Yeah, that's that's.
And I get it.
They probably been married forlike 20 years.
Got him when he was young, blah, blah, blah.
But if they're not keepingthemselves up, you know.
Wes (51:32):
Yeah.
DeLaw (51:32):
Also it could be.
Wes (51:34):
That is one of the 55, I honestly feel like that's too
young for that to be happeningme personally, but that's why,
Listen, I try to.
DeLaw (51:44):
I try to work out.
Wes (51:45):
I try to walk, I try to drink right, eat right.
I try to do all those thingsbecause I know how enjoyable sex
is.
DeLaw (51:53):
Today's my last day drinking liquor.
Wes (51:56):
Shut up, man.
You said that with a straightface of your wife.
I don't believe you.
Today's my last day drinkingliquor.
DeLaw (52:05):
I'm going to drink a lot more water, I'm going to
exercise more and that way as Iget older, and then I'm thinking
, because by the time that anyof that could be happening,
we'll be moved.
I have a gym in the house, Ican work out, get you know, get
that and keep that blood flowgoing strong.
Where I don't need it, or ifit's that I do need it, it could
(52:29):
be very low dose.
You know, I'm saying like I'mtrying everything to make sure
that yeah, no, no I get it.
Wes (52:37):
We got to try everything that we can try non-medically
before we even results of thatbig proponent and fan of that.
But, shorty, you need to asksome more questions and don't be
surprised if it's like yo whatif he and this is just throwing
something at the ball?
DeLaw (52:59):
what if he's cheating and he's just throwing something at
the wall?
What if he's cheating and he'sjust not attracted to?
Wes (53:03):
his wife anymore?
Yo, because he's probably.
That probably happened.
But as a man, even if you'renot attracted to your wife
anymore, hypothetically, why yougonna sit there and tell them
to get her into me?
She wants that, I'm gonna payyou.
I'm pretty sure you paid homiea little bit more money to do
that, so it's kind of like noneof that shit makes sense.
DeLaw (53:25):
To ease his guilt.
Wes (53:28):
If I'm cheating, that's the last thing I care about or want
to see.
DeLaw (53:33):
We can't understand that inner workings of white folks
I'm assuming people are- white,I'm just saying you can't
understand inner workings ofwhite folks.
I'm assuming people are white.
I'm just saying you can'tunderstand inner workings of
white folks, because I'm notsaying that a black woman
wouldn't have felt uncomfortable, but they might have.
(53:53):
When the women found out, theymight have jumped at that
opportunity.
Oh, I got it.
Isn't they going to want tofuck another dick?
Wes (53:59):
I'm just saying I'm just saying On that note can't
understand the inner workings ofwhite people.
Word from D-Law.
DeLaw (54:12):
Word from D-Law.
What can I say?
I can't understand how the workis up, because it really could
be.
Let me just ease my mind.
If I get it, let her go aheadand do it and then, once she did
it, okay.
So this was going on.
I've been sleeping with Gloriaacross the hall, and you know it
(54:33):
could have been anything.
Wes (54:36):
Yo, shout out to Gloria, we'll see you next time.
Shout out to Gloria, we'll seeyou next time.
DeLaw (54:42):
Shout out to Gloria.
you, it's turning that charm on to benefit her and it
it ain't really never benefitingme because I don't you know
what I mean.
Like I'm doing this because Iknow this is the way that she'll
receive it and I fail to do itin a way with stuff that I need
and want so she can receive it.
Do you find yourself doing that?
No, you turn the charm on forthe stuff that you need to or
(00:43):
want, for the stuff I you needto or want.
DeLaw (00:46):
For the stuff I need and want.
Yeah, of course.
Wes (00:49):
I'm fucking up then.
Hey everybody, welcome back toanother episode of the According
to Wes podcast.
As always, we have D-Law herewe have D-Law, the one and four
coach.
DeLaw (01:02):
We won by four feet yesterday, so I take my-.
Wes (01:04):
Yeah, come on, man, four feet.
DeLaw (01:08):
Hey look, I take a win is a win A win is a four feet it's
district heights.
Wes (01:12):
A win is not a.
You got me, Wes.
A win is not a win, Wes.
DeLaw (01:17):
A win is a win Nope.
Wes (01:21):
That's just like Shorty giving you sympathy sex and
you're like yep, I got it.
I don't want sympathy head.
I want to suck the bone offthat motherfucking head.
I don't want sympathy.
DeLaw (01:34):
That sympathy head might be just as good as I like your
head, you don't?
Wes (01:41):
need to believe that, and you know that's a lie.
DeLaw (01:43):
That's because you can see my face.
Wes (01:45):
Yeah, he's sucking the bone .
You don't need to believe thatand you know that's a lie.
That's because you can see myface that I'm saying Sucking off
the bone head is like a wholehell of a lot better.
You got me Wes and D-Law lyingand shit.
A win is a win.
He don't believe that.
What did you say?
DeLaw (01:59):
Do you see us now?
You better not wear that topractice today.
I wear it to practice.
I wear it to the games.
I mean we're playing in PrinceGeorge's County.
It's all neighbors there.
It's just in case the randomwhite person comes.
Wes (02:12):
I'm talking about the forfeit Like they go, think like
you know what.
Maybe we get some more forfeitsunder our belt and man but yeah
, we're playing Kettering thatday.
I was playing.
We always losing to Kettering.
Kettering was hard.
Kettering's a hard team butwhen you were younger you played
(02:33):
for Kettering right, I playedfor Bowie Bowie when y'all
played Kettering.
When y'all was younger, wasKettering hard.
DeLaw (02:38):
Kettering beat us 56-0, if not more.
It got so bad they turned theirscoreboard off, so I couldn't
really determine what the scorewas.
Wes (02:50):
Oh, jeez, oh jeez.
Fuck.
DeLaw (02:53):
You know, there's certain teams that I've played against
and coached against that Ihaven't yet to ever beat.
I beat Poundville.
Wes (03:04):
We beat Poundville.
DeLaw (03:04):
I beat Powderbill.
Okay, we beat Powderbill.
I've lost to Largo every time.
Yep, I've lost to EvangelCathedral's basketball team
coaching and playing.
Damn, I know right.
Um, I lost to.
So far I have lost to CampSprings every time.
(03:28):
Now, camp Springs, yeah, Idon't count teams that I've only
played once.
So, like you know, in footballyou only play the teams once I
played Atlanta.
Laurel is now on my list ofteams I can't beat because they
just beat us.
In basketball I haven't playedagainst.
(03:50):
I played for Bowie.
But when I played for Bowie Iwon a game, but the team when I
got bumped to 85 pounds won nogame.
So I went a season of one winand all losses.
Wes (04:02):
God dang.
DeLaw (04:04):
But if I had stayed 75 pounds, we probably wouldn't
have went on the field.
I was just a different beast atrunning back when I played at
Booty.
But when I moved up to 85, theydidn't want to play me at
running back and I was like youknow, I get why you don't want
to, because of your offense andhow it's fitting when you have
(04:25):
races and motherfuckers like youhave white kids.
But let me run.
Like put me in that backfield,give me a blocker, I'll get you
some yards.
Like let me give me, let meknow I'm being confident, get my
confidence up and let me runthe ball Right.
Wes (04:45):
Yeah, we out there reliving our twilight and our highlights
, but we were just talking aboutthe, the tomfoolery.
Yeah, I was just looking at thenews not too long ago, maybe
like some hours ago.
It was like they got somepeople got those emails
yesterday.
Yeah, it was like they got somepeople got those emails
yesterday.
Yeah, I was like saying yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, what do you?
(05:11):
What have you done in the lasttwo weeks that has been
important this, this and that.
Reply back to your supervisorwith that.
So I was like so, based off ofwhat I did the last two weeks,
that's going to determine if Ikeep my job.
What if this shit is top secretand I can't really tell you
what the fuck I did in the lasttwo weeks?
It's just all the way foolish.
DeLaw (05:34):
Yeah.
So because, like I was saying,I'm like first you made me come
back to work, then I come backto work for you, just to fire me
.
Then, if I'm not part of the000 people that give fire, now
you're saying that on a saturdayafternoon when I'm at a
basketball game or two done ordoing whatever else I'm doing,
and I have no federal agencyphone and I'm supposed to be
(05:57):
checking an email that I I'm notgoing to get until monday to
describe what I did in the lasttwo weeks when we all just did
performance evaluations thatsaid that I was exceptional or
satisfactory.
I'm not understanding whatyou're doing.
It's getting to a point and I'mnot even in the Fed's model.
(06:19):
It's to a point.
Okay, fine, you want to downsizethe government because you feel
like some jobs are useless?
I get it.
Sometimes they make jobs forpeople who they don't want to
lose but they don't want topromote.
So they give you some sort ofjob and you just move up your
grades that way.
Right, that job becomes apermanent job in that fixture,
(06:42):
versus, once that person is gone, just getting rid of the job.
I get that, but then you needto identify well, why was this
position created, then youeither need to reassign that
person somewhere, or also sendall the people to HR and
reassign them to positions, getrid of positions, or however you
got to do it, and then placethem in new positions, or you
(07:04):
better give them the the bestseverance package ever.
Wes (07:08):
Yeah, that's what I thought was uh, they like what the
early talks?
Not that I'm for it, but theywere saying, I mean I am kind of
for it, but they were.
Uh, there were talks like um,they'll have you work the job
for a year, or whatever have youlike, if it's not really needed
, or they give you a severanceand they won't.
But this just seems like it'sjust like I don't think we need?
(07:30):
yeah, I don't think we need thislike the post office.
I'm like if y'all made itbetter than what it is yeah,
this, this to me just seems likea mass firing.
DeLaw (07:41):
I got to get close to my phone oh, there we go.
This just looks like it's amass firing of people, as if
it's a business.
Remember when I told you theywere firing people when I was at
the stockpile, yeah, and theywere like, all right, well, four
people are going to be firedtoday, or no, they didn't say
(08:03):
that.
They told us at the end, fourpeople were fired.
It wasn't due to anything theydid wrong, just that the company
based on blah, blah, blah,we're downsizing.
Businesses do that all the time.
The government doesn't.
That means now you wanteverybody to come in.
You fire everybody to savemoney, but now you're saving
(08:24):
money.
Because now you, you fireeverybody to save money, but now
you're saving money because nowyou don't have to pay that big
salary, but now unemployment hasto kick out all that money.
Also, now, if you're performinglike you said, this from your
FS50 and all that other stuffthat you had going on, now you
might start getting wrongfultermination suits because it's
(08:45):
like, well, I was terminated forwhat?
And the federal governmentisn't an at-will thing.
And then you're going to say Iam not performing my job
efficiently.
When I, just two weeks ago, gotthat, I was exceptional or
whatever the highest thing is.
I just got that.
But I'm not officially doing mymy job.
So that's your's your groundsto terminate me.
(09:07):
You're better off just sayingeveryone that's getting
terminated gets a severancepackage instead of putting a bad
taste in everybody's mouth andpossibly getting lawsuits.
That's going to cost thefederal government more over the
next four to 20 years becausethey're going to be kicking out
that money for a long time.
If everybody decides to file asuit, yeah.
(09:30):
Also, if they have grounds tofile.
They don't have grounds, I mean.
I guess they worry about, butthey really have grounds, like I
think they said.
Wes (09:41):
The email says something like if you don't respond to
this email with what you do bysuch and such Monday or whatever
, then that will be taken as youare resigning they did that on
purpose on a Saturday, becauseit's one of those things where
it's one companies do thatbecause it's non confrontational
or they just like cut, act likethey want to fire you or lay
(10:04):
you off.
They'll just cut your accessover the weekend because they
know you're not working and onMonday when you come in you're
like what the fuck?
And they can either escort youout or remotely tell you.
You know we're moving in adifferent direction, but that
shit's scary because it's kindof like yo like on a Saturday
and a Sunday you could be likeknuckle deep in some pussy
deciding if you're going to pullout or leave it in.
Decided to leave it in.
(10:25):
Now you have a baby coming withno job.
That shit's stressful.
DeLaw (10:29):
Not only that, what if I'm out of town?
What?
Wes (10:33):
if I'm out of the country.
DeLaw (10:35):
I'm taking my leave.
You know I've worked hard.
I'm taking my leave because I'mout in St Lucia.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm out somewhere.
And St Lucia, or you know, sayI'm out somewhere and I'm
looking on the news like what?
And I'm out of the country.
Wes (10:47):
I don't have access to the rest of the country.
Now you're like I ain't buyingthat extra whatever, whatever,
because I might not be able toafford it.
DeLaw (10:53):
Because I might not come back until the following Monday.
And not come back.
Oh, you're not.
You didn't send an email, Iwasn't here.
Yeah Well, you know.
I don't even have a federalagency following, so how am I
supposed to respond?
Wes (11:08):
I'm not even supposed to take that out of the country,
because that's what they tellyou.
You're not supposed to take itout of the country, so it's just
kind of like Anything that'swith your state agency, we're
not supposed to take thatanywhere.
Listen, I work for the countyand they tell us not to leave it
in my home, so it to anywhere.
I work for the county and theytell us not to leave.
DeLaw (11:28):
It's one of those things like wow, is that what we're
really doing?
You're trying to downsize sobadly, but for what?
The question is, with thesefirearms, are we still being
efficient?
Wes (11:41):
Probably not.
I think a lot of this feelslike they want to privatize.
A lot of this feels like theywant to uh uh privatize a lot of
things, like they mightprivatize the post office.
DeLaw (11:50):
They might privatize I mean, that's what.
That's what it sounds like.
It really honestly, it reallydoes sound like if we get rid of
these jobs because I only gotfour more years here when I get
back into business for myself, Ican, you know, get these things
privatized to my friends andget a piece of it when I come
out.
Like it really just sounds likemaking the federal government a
(12:13):
private industry.
Right, it's like, oh well,we're getting rid of, you know,
useless jobs.
Well, what determines a uselessjob?
Wes (12:28):
And not only that.
Sometimes, like, if there's apath forward, to like how, let's
just say, we want to move as acountry into the what they call
the digital age, uh, you mightneed those people for maybe like
a couple years and thenterminate.
This is, I mean, it would havebeen, in my opinion, like if I
voted for the guy.
Uh, I would take we found wherewe can save money, but it's
(12:51):
going to take us two to threeyears in order for this to
effectively move without anyhiccups.
They're going to stay on fortwo to three years and that's
what I'd be like.
Okay, he found the waste.
You know what I mean.
I'm all for finding the waste.
You know what I mean?
Because it's kind of like yo ifit's going to if of finding a
waste.
You know what I mean?
Because it's kind of like yo ifit's gonna if and this is a big
if if things are going to bebetter in the country, which I
doubt, because it's never better.
You know what I mean.
Like then, yes, I'm all forthat.
DeLaw (13:13):
But honestly, I would have pre this.
This is what I, if I was goingto do this and I was going to
downsize the government, I would.
I would have did it on quarterone, which is like October 1st.
Okay, all right, first quarter.
So you announced that, okay,we're going to be evaluating
everything to quarter one.
(13:34):
So every agency has time to geteverything together, follow the
papers, and we're going to seewhat our budget looks like, and
then we're going to look atthese jobs and then we're going
to cut people.
But we're not just firing you,just then we're going to look at
these jobs and then we're goingto cut people.
But we're not just firing youjust because we're going to fire
you.
We're going to give you aseverance package.
And you wait until quarter one,because that's when everybody's
new budget comes in, becauseright now they're technically in
(13:57):
quarter two.
So people's you know thebudgets are set by the time we
get to around this year, by June, they're talking about their
budget for next year to get thatready.
So that's, you need to waittill we got a solidified budget
and now we can say, okay, nowwe're going to lay these people
(14:18):
off.
Instead of firing them, let'slay them off, we'll give them a
severance package so that theycan maintain whatever they need
to maintain, based on the years.
It gives you time to calculateall that shit up.
So you know you could, you,could, you could.
You got ways to do it like allright, if you or how I would
prefer to do you got a certainamount of years and age and it
adds up to something less than90, so, let's say it's 80, you
(14:41):
can get full retirement if yougo ahead and retire on that.
You know what I'm saying.
So now you lose some of your,you get some of your workforce.
That goes all right.
I can get full retirement.
Now Fuck it, I don't want to dothis, motherfucker.
And if it's still not enough,then you start making those
other cuts.
You know you gotta be smart.
You know you can't because theway they're doing it is now it's
(15:04):
like we're firing you.
Wes (15:05):
So now you gotta go get unemployment, which is even less
versus the thing is which iswild they definitely gonna have
to get unemployment because theway, depending on what they did
right, it might be obsolete inthe private sector.
What they were doing because weall know the government is
(15:26):
behind Technology might havealready took the damn job.
So it's kind of like well, whatdo I do if I need to work for
six years before actualretirement or retirement kick in
?
DeLaw (15:38):
That's why I said we lowered about 10 years.
So let's say someone got 20years and they only 45, 46,
let's say, hey, everybody whohas I don't want my retirement
at 45.
This is how you play that game.
Wes (15:57):
Let's just say we go into a recession because of all this
shit, if that was to happen theway you're saying it.
And then we go into a recessionbecause of all this shit, if
that was to happen the wayyou're saying it, and then we go
into a recession.
Those people are probablyworking until they're 70.
That's crazy.
Who wants to do that?
DeLaw (16:15):
That's what I'm saying.
Think of it this way it dependson how much you were making you
get your retirement.
It's probably half of what youwere making at your final time.
That means, let's say, somebodyretires.
They say, okay, you got earlyretirement, you make a 90 grand.
You get 45K a year.
Now you might want to go backto working something hefty to
(16:38):
bring in that type of money, oryou could find something that's
low paying.
They give you the extra 45 andnow you're working something
that's not so bad and you gotyour retirement and you just
chill and answer on the phonesaying hello.
Wes (16:56):
Can I help you?
DeLaw (16:59):
I'm just looking at it from the point of view like
you've got it.
You can't just up and just tellpeople we're going to let you
go, oh, if you're in.
And then, and where they'recutting is like everybody who's
in probation to like three years, all of them being cut, and
they're not havingdiscrimination of probation.
I mean you could have been withthe government 20 years and
just been promoted to being asupervisor of motherfuckers.
(17:20):
You're in probation, so it'slike it's you gotta.
There's a way to do it andthey're not doing it the right
way.
Wes (17:30):
They're not doing the morally, ethically right way.
You know what I mean.
Like things do happen right.
Any entity that's hiring you isnot obligated, but they're
within their rights, uh,downsides, and I mean, they're
completely in their rights.
DeLaw (17:49):
But you, what you should do is leave it up to the agency
to figure out what positions areuseful and let let those you
put you literally put peopleahead.
You know, to head thesedepartments, so they need to
call all their chiefs and deputychiefs, or however they have it
(18:11):
set up, and have that hardconversation.
But look, if you got somebodyon your team that you created a
position for there's a dead endposition because I just didn't
want to let them go are dead inposition because I just didn't
want to let them go, hey, ifthey got enough years, we're
working something out where theycan get their retirement and we
can get them out.
You know what I mean?
We don't have to fire peoplewho just got here because,
(18:35):
imagine, I just transferred tothe feds in July and all this
comes around and it's like wow.
Wes (18:45):
I'm going to tell you like this uh, this is the the feds
would know, as it was one ofthose, uh, holy grail jobs for
me.
Uh, like, just because thenature of what I do, I know I
can make a lot of fucking money.
I think I'm gonna stay clearthat's where I'm at now.
DeLaw (19:01):
It's like the feds used to be that job that if you got
there you don't leave unlesssomeone is offering you double
the money.
You can start out at the lowest, like getting 33.
By the time you're done withyour fed time, you'll get your
(19:24):
six figures.
It might be 20 years timeyou'll get your six figures.
It might be 20 years, butyou'll get your six figures and
your performance review.
You know and that's why I likethe Fed's performance review,
because it got you more moneyRight.
So as long as you had like a topnotch one, you were eligible
for a grade increase or a stepincrease.
So a lot of times they do stepsand then after a certain time
(19:45):
they just give you the grade.
And it wasn't like in the statewhere your pen only lets you go
to that grade.
Like my pen only lets me go toa grade, a specific grade, and
I'm in that grade.
So let's say my pen, let's sayI'm a grade 7, okay, my pen only
allows me to be a grade 7, butI can have all the way up to
(20:08):
step 30.
It's not like the feds theydon't have that where you get
stuck If they put it in likewe're going to give you a grade
increase.
Cool Boom, there's your gradeincrease.
You're going to start at agrade eight, step three, because
(20:30):
you were already at step eightand we don't want to take money
from you.
That's how the Fed works.
The state don't work that way.
The state's a dick, but rightnow it seems like it's a safe
bet to stay here.
You know what I'm saying, butit's crazy.
It's crazy, with more cuts tocome, like you're talking about
(20:52):
and me and my wife were justtalking about it, Like we was
like well, how do you think thisis going to affect the housing
market?
Wes (20:59):
Because Housing market already.
I mean, you know it's already.
I don't know what the fuck itis.
DeLaw (21:04):
To be honest, From a standpoint of if these people
don't find jobs, there's goingto be a whole lot of foreclosed
homes on that, going to auctions, short sales, everything.
You know what I'm saying.
We were like it sucks, but dowe try to take advantage of that
?
We try to take advantage ofother and I'm like we could, but
(21:32):
do we want to?
And if we want to, should we?
We ain't got but so many years.
I think we only got like 60,70,000 that we can have.
We haven't even made it fiveyears.
I told her.
I said man, look, we should doit, let's made it five years.
I told her.
I said man, look, we should doit, let's do 11 more years, 15
(21:52):
years.
That means half of our mortgageis Half of our mortgage
supposedly is supposed to bedone, supposedly.
You're going to see when we getthere.
But by that point if we getloans, we can refinance if the
interest rate is decent and justtake that money, put it back in
(22:15):
the house, pay the house offand keep it raw, and then we can
figure out everything else thatwe want to do, and if we want
to keep this house or we want tostart looking for another house
, if we want to rent this houseout because we're paying taxes
on it and if we decide to getanother house and we decide to
sell this house, we can getanother house.
Wes (22:35):
Yeah, for all that to make sense for you guys, the interest
rate just has to come.
The housing price and interestrate have to.
Even if the interest rate stayshigh as fuck, the housing
prices have to come down forthat to make sense for anybody
right now.
So that shit ain't got shit todo with the government workers.
(22:58):
That has any and everything todo with the companies that build
the houses and hold the that'sholding the property to figure
out what the fuck they gonna do,because if new houses are going
for cheaper than old houses,then old houses have no point,
no, have no.
You know what I mean have nochoice but to lower their
fucking.
DeLaw (23:17):
So I mean because I was just looking at it from a
standpoint of if we can get thishouse paid off and because
someone else was like, well,yeah, it was like it it makes
sense, like after 16 years ofbeing in the house, if you
refinance and then stick Mike,go back into the house and pay
it off, I said, well, it makessense if the interest rate isn't
(23:38):
higher than like a five or six,it makes sense then.
I mean, even though we shouldonly have you know in my head,
after 15 years we should onlyhave maybe $150,000, $125,000
left on the house.
But when we refinance it willbe that from what they were
(24:00):
telling us, it will be that pluswhatever the house is worth.
So they have to appraise thehouse anyway, have to appraise
the house anyway.
So whenever we get back, wemight even get back more than
what we paid and then just throwit back in whatever is left,
keep that for a down paymentsomewhere else and then if we
decide to move somewhere elseand live there and we don't feel
(24:20):
like market sell it, we takewhatever $300,000, whatever.
You know what I'm saying.
Money comes with that stuff.
So whatever our home is like atthat point, we can now make it
into our dream home of, let'ssay, we got a split level with
no deck.
Oh, let's get a deck.
Let's get a new kitchen, let'sdo this, let's do that.
Whatever's left.
(24:42):
You know what you want to justget some new cars.
Let's get new cars and go getrid of.
You know, keep these for likeregular use and then let's get
these.
You know something like you.
You know, but that's yeah in my, yeah, I've been in.
Wes (24:55):
Um, my whole thought process has changed with that uh
, lately, because I got money inthe stock market.
I got, uh, a little differentthings going on.
So right now, um, I first wastrying to see if I can rent the
house.
So I don't think I'm going thatroute anymore.
Uh, not right away, at least.
Uh, so right now it's more orless like uh, like, like you're
(25:18):
saying, like, how do I pay thishouse off?
So, um, it's going to be, orhow do I get closer to, like you
know where the shit don'tmatter.
Like I might got like fiveyears and still got a lot of
earning potential.
A lot of you know that's justsaying I'm 45 and I got five
years left on the house.
That's, that's pretty good.
So I'm trying to get to figureout it, not figure out.
(25:39):
I'm trying to get to that pointbecause, like you said, when,
if and when the time comes, Iwant to be able to move the way
I want to move.
And then I think about, like yo, when me and my wife retire, we
might not even want to stay inmaryland.
Like I don't.
I don't know what that, I don'tknow what that looks like for
me.
I can't.
I can't tell you what thatlooks like in 30 years, but I
want the flexibility to be ableto.
Like the house is paid off or Igot five years left to man.
(26:03):
My camera went out again.
I got five years of that.
What, uh?
What had to?
DeLaw (26:08):
happen.
So that's where I'm at.
It's like, you know, I still.
You know, by the time that youknow, 15 years on, this house
was I'll still be working.
My wife was still working.
So I'm looking at it from thestandpoint of if we can pay this
house off.
You know, however, we gotta do,because I mean, like someone
told me it was like hey, if yourefinance, they're going to
appra Cause.
I mean, like like someone toldme it was like hey, if you
(26:28):
refinance, they're going toappraise it and blah, blah, blah
, you still got paid a down,closing costs, whatever, but you
can take that out, whatever'sthere, and then it might all
just pay itself off.
You might have some money lefton the back end.
Keep that money, money so thatyou can pay off other shit, so
that when you're like, alright,retire this house, call your
(26:48):
realtor, you know, and startlooking for houses, and then
they start saying, oh well, youknow, you have $300,000,
$400,000 you can use whatever,cool, fine, whatever.
And then we do that, getanother house, and then we can
sell this house, sell this houseand then, whatever money we get
, either we can remodel ourhouse, take half of it, pay down
(27:11):
part of it, take all of it, putit on to our new house,
refinance again to change thepayments, get whatever money's
coming out of it.
There's ways to make that moneywork.
Yeah most of them.
There's ways to make that moneywork, but the first thing is
getting this house paid off, andif we can do that, the skies
(27:34):
will be big, you know.
Wes (27:37):
Yeah, that's my main thing, because it seems like this
economy is in for a whirlwindthey're talking about with all
this stuff.
It probably will somewhattrigger a recession and I'm like
, well, shit, the, the way wegot stuff set up and the way you
know, the way everything is,it's it's best for us to uh,
(27:57):
kind of stay here yeah, becausethat's what I was saying to my
wife.
DeLaw (28:00):
I said it's better for us to stay here right now, but we
don't know what's about tohappen.
We don't know how theseinterest rates are going to
change.
We don't know what's about tohappen.
We don't know how theseinterest rates are going to
change.
We don't know nothing.
So our best bet is to ride outthis Trump time.
Wes (28:16):
And see what happens after the Trump time.
DeLaw (28:19):
You know, at that point we'll be at eight years in this
house, because we got in thishouse when Biden first got in.
So we'll be eight years at thishouse right now and then, at
that point, what's?
Another four to eight years inthis house, yeah, you know what
(28:41):
I'm saying what's?
another four to eight years, andby that time, whatever we
decide to do to try to pay someof this stuff down, that'll be
paid off.
We should be paid off Done withthe timeshares.
You know what I'm saying as faras those paid off, so we start
being able to save money.
At that point, credit cardsmight not be paid off, but they
(29:01):
should be coming down, dependingon how we're doing it, and we
should be able to move how wewant to move.
Now you might have to get inbetween all this time.
You might have to get new carsand shit like that, but you
cross that bridge when you getthere.
Wes (29:17):
Right.
DeLaw (29:19):
But never mind, I need to call Discover and see if they
got any promos for some 0%interest.
Part of me thinks I should havetook it last time, but I didn't
.
I went the lower APR score.
I went from a 28.9 to an 18.9,so I'm 10 points down.
(29:40):
I took it because I didn't haveas much debt as I have now on
that credit card.
Now I'm at the point whereevery time I pay it, even when
it put the interest on it, goesback in a negative.
So now I'm like man, I needthat 0% interest yeah.
Wes (29:57):
The only time 0% interest really is in your favor is if
you're able like you know youabout to pay this bitch off.
So you let you know, youtransfer the credit and then you
, whatever it's going to be fromthat point, you but like if you
like, and I only pay like ifyou want, if you know you're
going to pay more than theminimum is what I meant to say.
But if you just paying, youknow that shit.
DeLaw (30:17):
Go pay the minimum you just pay the minimum, then it's
going to be zero percentinterest.
Yeah, but I don't think wellright now because how high it is
, I have to pay just just aminimum.
So for me I'm like, if I do, 0%interest and I can start
chipping away at it without thatinterest kicking back on.
Wes (30:34):
You better make sure you pay it off within that time
frame.
DeLaw (30:38):
Look, that's a lot of money.
I'm just trying to get it downa reasonable amount so that when
that 18.9 kicks back and afterthat 12 months, then my payments
start at $600.
They will be like $400.
You know what I'm saying.
(30:58):
And then, like you know, everysix months you can ask the
scumbag what promos you have andthey'll say, oh, we have this
problem.
And if they keep saying we gota zero percent interest, then we
don't want to do, yeah, trueinterest until I get it down to
where you know it's manageable.
(31:18):
Yeah, you gotta do what yougotta do.
Wes (31:22):
Yeah, I got um, I got a question for you.
Do you think when you getmarried as a man, the art of the
art of quote, unquote, mackingor having game is diminished, or
(31:43):
you think we should always bepracticing that towards our
wives of course diminished, oryou?
DeLaw (31:47):
think we should always be practicing that towards our
wives.
Of course, I don't think itever gets a minute.
Wes (31:50):
I think, uh, from what I can see, that's what they still
expect the macking some of thatback in his new line, though
back in the day they, they stillwant you to act like they, as
you talk about they can, so theystill want you to be able to do
(32:12):
it.
DeLaw (32:13):
They just don't want you to do it, nowhere else.
Wes (32:15):
No, understandable, I'm not saying that, I ain't saying
that.
DeLaw (32:18):
Because it's been told to my wife, even though we gonna
do it like like you ain't evensmooth about it, I'm just
looking at her like maybe we'remarried.
Wes (32:27):
Yeah, well, that's the approach.
DeLaw (32:29):
I be taking.
Wes (32:30):
I'm like, well, I gotta be smooth, like I just try to get
somewhere.
You're brushing your teeth andyou let me Like that ain't
nothing smooth about that.
DeLaw (32:42):
See, that's the spontaneousness of it.
Wes (32:45):
Still, I ain't come to her and say, girl, put that
toothbrush down.
I know your breath alreadysmelling good and you know I
ain't come to her like that wassome stupid shit and then wipe
the toothpaste off the side ofher mouth and then you know what
I mean.
DeLaw (32:58):
I ain't do that, I'm just saying I think it's tough
because women and men have twodifferent ideas of how things
are supposed to go.
Of course, women enjoy beingchased, regardless of whether
(33:20):
they're married or not.
Once they're married, eventhough they're like, oh OK, I'm
settling down, but really theylike, they want to still be
chased and look like they feellike they're being desired.
And guys, you know, once we didall the chasing and everything
else we're trying to provide andand just not be stressed out,
and just you know it's twodifferent, two different ways of
(33:44):
how the relationship goes.
So what about?
Wes (33:46):
the, uh, the mind fucking part of the, the back end, and
so what about the mind-fuckingpart of the back end of the game
and stuff like that?
You know, like sometimes womenbe like not, I imagine I've
heard I've been in theconversation, outside of the
conversation like, oh, you know,sometimes when I want him to do
this or this, this, and that Ijust do this, this and this, so
(34:07):
as when we were dating, right,men dating, we know what that is
, you know what I mean.
Like that's kind of like partof our game, our mac and shit
like that.
So the mind fucking part.
You think enough of us still dothat with our, our wife, or
just like yo, it's gonna be whatit's gonna be, or'm going to
just say it and you know what Imean.
(34:28):
She need to take it for what itis.
Hey, I ain't saying get yourselfin trouble, I'm just saying do
you think the majority of?
Because I know what I do.
I kind of flip-flop, but when Iflip-flop it's never from my,
when I flip-flop to the Mac andshit, it's never for my benefit,
the shit that.
(34:49):
This is what fucks me up, thestuff for my benefit.
I just be straight forward withit or whatever?
Have you not caring how I comeout and I either get what I want
or I don't?
See, I don't know if I do needthat it's kind of like trying to
trick your wife into eatingvegetables.
Sometimes that's how it is overhere is just like yo.
This is why you should be doingthis.
You want your butt to look alittle, you know.
I mean like that type of thing,not necessarily that, but you
(35:10):
get what I mean.
Like I'm always turning thatcharm on to benefit her and it
ain't really never benefiting mebecause I I don't.
You know what I mean.
Like I'm doing this because Iknow this is the way that she'll
receive it and I fail to do itin the way with stuff that I
need and want so she can receiveit.
Do you find yourself doing that?
(35:31):
No, do you turn the charm on forthe stuff that you need to or
want.
DeLaw (35:37):
For the stuff I need and want.
Yeah, of course.
Wes (35:40):
I'm fucking up then.
I'm fucking up then.
DeLaw (35:44):
I mean because, think about it, Think from this
perspective when does anyoneturn on the when we were dating,
unless they try and get some?
Wes (35:55):
So I ain't talking about for trying to get some that's,
that's, that's one of the things, right.
DeLaw (35:59):
But I'm I'm just saying in general.
So think about it.
Yeah, let's say, your wife inthe mood, right, yep, right.
So she come down in her.
You know, you know when she inthe mood, because she don't come
down in her full PJs, she comedown in the mood.
She come down in her jeans withthe little shorts on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little bit.
(36:21):
She doing exactly what she didwhen we were dating to make sure
she got hers to satisfy you,along with on the other side of
it.
It'd be like man, I'm trying toget his head you start.
Hey, well, you know what youdoing, baby.
Let's, let's, let me kiss youreal quick.
Let me rub a point get gettingher a nice and tingly.
You know what I'm saying.
Use it when you, use it forwhen you want to use it when you
(36:43):
, when you don't need to be used.
A lot of times people just belike all right, I guess they
don't need to be used.
Wes (36:46):
A lot of times it was like, all right, I guess they don't
need to be used like that on myside, because, like, I still get
the same, because you could doall the the sweet shit and she'd
still be like, and I got somestupid shit, like I got a
headache, quote, unquote.
You know what I mean?
Well, not tonight.
You know what I mean?
No, that don't happen.
DeLaw (37:01):
Hey, I'm fucking up, yeah my wife ain't never said she
had a headache or no shit.
Wes (37:08):
That's usually my dumb ass like yo, because I like let's
just say I'm six years, she'llstill want the shit.
I'm like yo, I can't breathe.
She was like you're all right,I'm like I'm all right, I can't
breathe out my nose.
So the reverse would have comeof shit like that.
DeLaw (37:24):
Why you ain't never said nah, you gonna be a mouth
breather that day, right.
Wes (37:31):
Outside of the other shit.
She's definitely said no to abunch of shit and I'm just like,
god damn, maybe if I would've,I should've came with the sweet,
sincere shit first or themind-fucking shit first, and
maybe I would've got what Iwanted.
DeLaw (37:44):
You know your wife better than anybody.
Yeah, of course, at first, andmaybe I wouldn't get what I
wanted.
You know your wife better thananybody.
Even though my wife might notever say it, when she comes down
in certain pajamas, I know whattime it is.
I put these on because they'recomfortable.
Sure you did.
Sure you did Okay.
(38:07):
I'm doing what I'm supposed todo Now.
I want to see if you got alittle.
Sure you did.
Sure, you did Okay.
So it's the.
I'm doing what I'm supposed todo Now.
I want to see if you got alittle bit of game to get these
off of me.
Wes (38:15):
Yeah, it's just like that.
DeLaw (38:16):
It's a green light, don't fuck it up.
Wes (38:18):
You know what I'm saying.
Okay, so the sex part is Iain't gonna say it's easy,
that's our wives.
Yes, I'm going to say it's easy, it's our wives, it's easy.
I know what I need to do.
Like, how do I?
How do I?
Uh, like yo, I want to go outand but I've been going out,
like for the last couple of days.
I've been out three times thisweek and I didn't spend no time
with her.
But I really need to go out tothis particular thing, cause
(38:41):
it's going to be better than thelast three.
So you're wrong, so you justtell her, and sometimes there's
a way where you can just tellher with finesse and there's no,
there's no problems.
When you get back home, youknow what I mean, because if she
(39:03):
had a problem, she has aproblem.
The problem is going to go awaybecause you just told her well,
my wife would tell me if shegot a problem.
DeLaw (39:10):
And then you end up not leaving, so it doesn't benefit
you well exactly if she got aproblem with me, like, let's say
, like next week is a tank fight, right?
Yeah so if she's like well,look, you ain't spent no time
with me and I need that time youwant to tell your fresh dude
(39:30):
that motherfucking better?
Uh, you ain't coming like.
Wes (39:34):
That's just what it is, and it's like you got me on that
one yeah, or you do what I willlook what we talked about before
and you just pay into thebucket way before before time
yeah, I mean, but for me I'm a,I'm a, I'm a very predictable
person.
DeLaw (39:53):
So my wife knows that my niggas are three days, so three
days, so three days.
Wes (39:58):
You pants in a bucket three days before she will be like.
This motherfucker want to dosomething that I'm probably
going to say no to.
DeLaw (40:04):
She'll be like it's Saturday If he's not home by
1.30,.
He went to crazy crap and it'slike all right, you know, if
it's football season, she knowsthat the skims play.
I might be like, hey, I'm goingaround the corner, so it's one
of those things.
I don't deviate from the playor from what I do because of the
(40:27):
fact that I'm just a personthat does the same thing over
and over.
So like, let's say, next week Imight come in at 3 o'clock
because I went to Crazy Crab.
In her head she's like he's atCrazy Crab, so I already know
where he is.
He's probably there with theboys making bets, whatever,
whatever.
And then I might say, hey, babe, you know, still invited us
(40:47):
over for the fight, you mind, ifI go Now, it becomes the well,
you ain't been home all day, orthat's the day of, or it might
be like oh fine, you know,that's fine, because that means
you're gone, my son's gone.
I can have the house to myself,so it might be one of those.
But if I tell her ahead of timeand put it in her ear like, hey,
(41:08):
you know the fight's that nightit's over, you want to go?
Nah, would you be mad if Idon't go?
I'm not going to be mad if Idon't go, I'm not going to be
mad if you don't go.
You don't want to go, you don'twant to go.
It's one of those things where,as long as you're being honest
and you're saying it up front,days in advance, it shouldn't be
(41:29):
a problem, unless you fuck upbetween as days come up.
Wes (41:33):
So listen to this I'm glad that you said being honest
enough.
This lady wants to know if sheis wrong for refusing her
husband's request to sleep withsomeone else to ease his fears
of me cheating.
DeLaw (41:53):
First it took a left and then it took a hard left.
This is a bitch.
She wants to know if she'swrong.
It took a left and then it tooka hard left.
So she so let me put this innigga terms she mad because no,
no, she not mad, she is mad.
She's mad and she wants to denyhis request to cheat after she
cheated.
Wes (42:14):
No, no, no, no.
She ain't cheat, so she didn'tcheat.
No, she is refusing herhusband's request to sleep with
someone to ease his fears, hisinsecurities, of me, of her
cheating.
How does that work?
Let's listen.
So my husband 55, she's 43.
(42:35):
They've been married for a longtime.
She said she loves him deeplyand over the years he struggled
with erectile dysfunction Yep,don't choke and it's clearly
taken a toll on his confidenceand self-esteem.
Recently he opened up abouthaving this irrational fear that
I'll cheat on him one daybecause he feels like he can't
(42:56):
make me happy Because he's stillin love with her, yeah.
Despite my constant assurancethat I love him and would never
betray him, he seems to beunable to shake this fear.
A few days later, he proposedsomething that completely threw
me off.
He asked me to sleep withsomeone with his consent.
What he asked me to sleep withsomeone with his consent so he
(43:21):
could control the situation.
It eased his anxiety about mecheating.
He planned a surprise trip forus last week, which I thought
was really sweet.
During the trip, he arrangedfor a masseur to come up to our
room without telling mebeforehand, saying it was meant
(43:42):
to be a relaxing surprise for me.
The masseur came that eveningand my husband was in the room
watching while the massagestarted.
At first it seemed fine, butthen the masseur started giving
me an intimate massage that feltvery inappropriate.
His fingers was right betweenher cooch.
(44:06):
He crossed a clear boundary.
I immediately stood.
I I immediately stopped him andtold him I was uncomfortable.
My husband seemed completelyokay with the whole situation
and brushed it off as as brushedit off as part of the
experience.
It left me feeling confused andupset, especially now that I
think back on it in the contextof this recent request for me to
sleep with someone.
(44:26):
I told him I wasn't comfortablewith any of this.
I feel like he is pushing meinto situations that make me
question the motives and ourrelationship.
He says this is his way ofaddressing his fears and making
me happy, but it feels wrong tome.
I want to help him, but I alsolike these actions.
(44:48):
I also feel like these actionsare crossing serious boundaries
I'm not willing to break.
DeLaw (44:55):
Well, here's the first issue.
If you suffer from erectileiledysfunction, you need to get out
there and start working out.
Okay, that's the first thing.
He might be diabetic, butthat's the first thing.
Like, that is a, that is alogical.
Uh, piece of advice, yes youknow, like if I got to that age
(45:15):
and my wife is still active andwants to be sexually active and
I can't because I haven't takencare of myself, that I need to
change something so that I can.
You know, that's why I gowalking, that's why I exercise
all the other stuff.
You know what I'm saying.
That's why I do that, so thatby the time it comes for them to
say, look, I know you've beenhealthy, you've been doing this,
(45:36):
but nigga, you're going to haveto take the blue pill At least,
I kind of yeah, yeah.
Wes (45:41):
You did what you had to do.
You did what you needed to do.
I did what I needed to do.
DeLaw (45:45):
So that's the first thing , and I don't know his situation
of.
I agree with all of that Verylogical.
Now the second part is even ifthat happened and I struggle
with and I gotta take thosepills, ain't no way I'm like,
babe, I want you to go letanother dude fuck you, because
(46:07):
what if, what if?
And you know, even though shewas uncomfortable, what if?
She's like okay, cool, whatever, fuck it.
So who you want me to fuckbecause you can't get it up?
Okay, cool, you know you'retreading across a very, very
thin ice because whatever youmight be cool with, let's say,
(46:33):
the dude wasn't that good.
But what?
That dude took it a pound townand she oh my gosh, shit, I
fucking love you.
Wes (46:43):
You still gonna be just sitting in the corner just
looking like okay so some typeof way yeah, me and you will
feel some type of way, very,very logical.
But here's the part what Ithink she's missing that dude
has erectile dysfunction becausemaybe he likes to be the cuck
(47:04):
and he's never been the cuck, sohe can't get it up and he can't
do anything unless that happens.
That's why he was poor.
He probably know, but yeah, heprobably.
Maybe he likes that or hedeveloped the fact that I have
to watch my wife get plowed, orsomeone I know, in order to get
(47:24):
hard.
I don't even think he evenwants to cheat, I don't.
I think he doesn't know thathe's a cuck and she don't know
that he's a cuck and he mightlike cucking behavior.
So all that shit not all theshit all the stuff, what you
were saying very solid advice.
But I don't even think that'sthe advice to give in this
situation, because I'd be damnedif I told him a suit show, go
(47:45):
ahead and play with my wife.
Why are you massaging her?
I'm not doing that.
So the fact that he's willingto force that while he watched,
that's more than the insecurityto me.
I feel like dude is a cuck andhe's trying to put that into
their relationship.
So my advice to you as a womanask him if he like cuck shit,
(48:08):
and if you don't like it, theny'all need to get divorced
because y'all probably not goingto have sex no time soon.
DeLaw (48:12):
I can guarantee you, if that was the situation between
me and my wife and I at UD,she'll look at me like I'm not
about to fuck.
No other dude, get your shittogether or use your mouth yeah,
that was not.
Wes (48:28):
It use your mouth, that always gets me off.
I got you, he's like hey.
DeLaw (48:37):
I forgot about that part.
Wes (48:39):
He don't want that, obviously.
You know what.
DeLaw (48:41):
I mean?
Well, the story is a man is 55,the girl is 43, and he has Edie
and he's telling his wife thathe wants to arrange her to have
sex with somebody else so thathis fears of her cheating can be
alleviated out of his head.
She doesn't feel comfortablewith it, Right, and he set up
(49:01):
this thing with a masseuse tomassage her and he started
playing with her for clitoris.
She got uncomfortable and shewants advice on what can she do.
That's what I said.
If that was the case, my wifewould just tell me you better
get your shit together.
I ain't fucking know what Iwould do there you go.
Wes (49:24):
He enjoys the cucking.
That's all that is.
DeLaw (49:27):
It does look like, because he's at 55, getting
closer to 60, that he probablyeither he watched a lot of porn
back in the day or he just wantsto see her get plowed and
possibly plowed.
Is it plowed, Plowed?
Wes (49:41):
yeah.
DeLaw (49:43):
I'm not using those words .
You know what I'm saying.
That sounds like some whiteporn.
Wes (49:49):
Some white porn Plowed.
DeLaw (49:50):
yeah, he might want to see her have intercourse with
somebody else like in porn andit might get him hard to do it.
Wes (49:59):
So we don't know if he takes any viagra, cialis, any of
that, because even you don'ttell your wife like yo, I need
you to go cheat on me so I canfeel comfortable.
DeLaw (50:10):
Cheat on me in front of me, so I can feel comfortable
that you're fucking somebodyelse.
That's very awkward that to mesounds like a setup.
See, she said, it sounds like asetup.
I was thinking the same thing.
It sounds like a setup.
Wes (50:23):
It sounds like a setup.
I just thought he was a cuck.
DeLaw (50:28):
When you told the story I kind of thought it was like a
setup If she says oh, sure, yeah, and then she goes in there and
fucks the masseuse.
Wes (50:35):
But she said no and then he bought the masseuse up there
anyway.
DeLaw (50:42):
He's still testing her to see her loyalty.
Wes (50:44):
I don't know.
Listen, I don't ever want toput myself in a situation where
the loyalty gets tested.
I'm fucking wrong.
And now I'm sitting there likedamn, she's got that
motherfucking finger on her.
I don't want to be in thatsituation either.
DeLaw (50:58):
Sure, yeah, I had to get Mrs Smith a kiss.
You know I get a lot of workingout and blood work.
I think I look close to some ofthem.
Yeah, I love, yeah, hey look,that's her fault for marrying
somebody 12 years older than her.
Wes (51:18):
Yeah, that's, and I marrying somebody 12 years older
than her.
DeLaw (51:19):
Yeah, that's that's.
And I get it.
They probably been married forlike 20 years.
Got him when he was young, blah, blah, blah.
But if they're not keepingthemselves up, you know.
Wes (51:32):
Yeah.
DeLaw (51:32):
Also it could be.
Wes (51:34):
That is one of the 55, I honestly feel like that's too
young for that to be happeningme personally, but that's why,
Listen, I try to.
DeLaw (51:44):
I try to work out.
Wes (51:45):
I try to walk, I try to drink right, eat right.
I try to do all those thingsbecause I know how enjoyable sex
is.
DeLaw (51:53):
Today's my last day drinking liquor.
Wes (51:56):
Shut up, man.
You said that with a straightface of your wife.
I don't believe you.
Today's my last day drinkingliquor.
DeLaw (52:05):
I'm going to drink a lot more water, I'm going to
exercise more and that way as Iget older, and then I'm thinking
, because by the time that anyof that could be happening,
we'll be moved.
I have a gym in the house, Ican work out, get you know, get
that and keep that blood flowgoing strong.
Where I don't need it, or ifit's that I do need it, it could
(52:29):
be very low dose.
You know, I'm saying like I'mtrying everything to make sure
that yeah, no, no I get it.
Wes (52:37):
We got to try everything that we can try non-medically
before we even results of thatbig proponent and fan of that.
But, shorty, you need to asksome more questions and don't be
surprised if it's like yo whatif he and this is just throwing
something at the ball?
DeLaw (52:59):
what if he's cheating and he's just throwing something at
the wall?
What if he's cheating and he'sjust not attracted to?
Wes (53:03):
his wife anymore?
Yo, because he's probably.
That probably happened.
But as a man, even if you'renot attracted to your wife
anymore, hypothetically, why yougonna sit there and tell them
to get her into me?
She wants that, I'm gonna payyou.
I'm pretty sure you paid homiea little bit more money to do
that, so it's kind of like noneof that shit makes sense.
DeLaw (53:25):
To ease his guilt.
Wes (53:28):
If I'm cheating, that's the last thing I care about or want
to see.
DeLaw (53:33):
We can't understand that inner workings of white folks
I'm assuming people are- white,I'm just saying you can't
understand inner workings ofwhite folks.
I'm assuming people are white.
I'm just saying you can'tunderstand inner workings of
white folks, because I'm notsaying that a black woman
wouldn't have felt uncomfortable, but they might have.
(53:53):
When the women found out, theymight have jumped at that
opportunity.
Oh, I got it.
Isn't they going to want tofuck another dick?
Wes (53:59):
I'm just saying I'm just saying On that note can't
understand the inner workings ofwhite people.
Word from D-Law.
DeLaw (54:12):
Word from D-Law.
What can I say?
I can't understand how the workis up, because it really could
be.
Let me just ease my mind.
If I get it, let her go aheadand do it and then, once she did
it, okay.
So this was going on.
I've been sleeping with Gloriaacross the hall, and you know it
(54:33):
could have been anything.
Wes (54:36):
Yo, shout out to Gloria, we'll see you next time.
Shout out to Gloria, we'll seeyou next time.
DeLaw (54:42):
Shout out to Gloria.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.