October 22, 2025 • 13 mins
What if the pain you’re avoiding is the very thing that could set you free? We take a hard look at a Stoic claim—“the truth never harmed anyone; what harms us is to persist in self-deceit and ignorance”—and test it against real life. From medical diagnoses and failed business bets to the slow leak of unspoken resentment in relationships, we explore why the sting of truth is acute but corrective, while the comfort of denial quietly compounds into long-term damage.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Wes (00:01):
Welcome back to the According to West Podcast, the
podcast where we facechallenging truths and discover
the freedom that comes withseeing clearly.
I'm your host West, and todaywe're grappling with a powerful
idea that's as relevant today asit was centuries ago.
No, it's not the idea of it'scheaper to keeper, but the quote
(00:24):
of it's the truth I'm after,and the truth never harmed
anyone.
What harms us is to persist inself-deceit and ignorance.
This quote, often attributed toStoic philosopher Marcus
Aurelius, is a radical departurefrom how many of us
(00:46):
instinctively react to difficultinformation.
We often avoid the truthbecause we're afraid of it or
feel like it's going to bepainful, and we'd rather stay in
the dark than face a realitythat might be uncomfortable,
challenging, or evendevastating.
Marcus Aurelius' message is adirect contradiction to that
(01:09):
impulse.
He argues that the pain isn'tin the truth itself, but in our
willful avoidance of it.
Not facing the truth leaves youlooking wow crazy out here.
(01:35):
Even if you glued on one ofthose man units on your head,
it's it still makes you lookcrazy.
Like everyone knows, my guy.
Everyone knows.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Yep.
Wes (01:48):
As always, let's unpack this and discover why pursuing
the truth, no matter howdifficult, is the ultimate path
to healing and a better life.
The first part of the quote,the truth never harmed anyone,
is a bold claim.
On the surface, it seems wrong.
(02:11):
A difficult diagnosis from adoctor, an honest critique of
our work, or the realizationthat a relationship has failed,
these truths can feel incrediblyharmful.
They can cause emotional pain,fear, and grief.
But Marcus Aurelius is he'sspeaking on a de uh a deeper
(02:34):
level.
He's making a distinctionbetween the transient short-term
pain of a truth and thelong-term systemic harm of
living in a lie.
A diagnosis of an illness ispainful, but the truth of it
allows you to seek treatment andheal.
The lie, persisting inignorance, allows the illness to
(02:59):
fester and cause far greaterharm.
Another example is, you know,admitting your business is
failing is painful.
But the truth allows you topivot, learn from your mistakes,
and try again.
The lie, that lie portion ofthis is, you know, it's
persisting in self-deceit, whichleads to financial ruin and
(03:23):
wasted effort.
Um even confronting a difficultconversation is uh is
uncomfortable.
But the truth of your feelingsor the truth of a situation
allows you it allows forresolution and growth.
The lie in that is uhpersisting in avoidance uh and
(03:48):
avoiding the conversation.
Avoiding that conversationallows resentment to build,
damaging relationship beyondrepair.
And in every single one ofthose cases, the truth is the
catalyst for healing andprogress.
It's an aversion stimulus thatpoints us toward a better path.
(04:14):
The harm isn't in the messengerof truth, it's in the
underlying reality that waspresent all along and which we
choose to ignore.
Now, for the second and perhapsthe most critical part of the
(04:35):
quote, what harm?
What harms us is to persist inself-deceit and ignorance.
This is where we find the realvillain of the story.
Um Marcus Aurelius says thatharm isn't from the outside
world, but from our own act ofchoice to look away.
(04:56):
Self-deceit is when we when welie to ourselves, basically.
It's it's the moment we chooseto believe a comforting fantasy
over a painful reality.
You know, this can manifest indifferent ways, like denial, um,
which is you know, refusing toadmit our problem exists,
(05:18):
rationalization, it inventingexcuses for our bad behavior or
poor decisions, or simplyblaming others, refusing to take
responsibility for our ownactions by projecting fault onto
others.
Self-deceit is a form ofemotional debt.
You avoid the the small,manageable pain of confronting a
(05:42):
problem today, only to have itcompound into a much larger,
more painful issue down theline.
It erodes our integrity andkeeps us stuck in a cycle of bad
habits and poor decisions.
The greatest harm ofself-deceit is that it prevents
us from taking corruptiveaction.
Now, ignorance is um ignoranceis slightly different.
(06:09):
It's not an act of lie, but apassive state of knowing or not
seeking to know.
In a more modern context, it'sabout staying in your in your
own echo chamber, refusing tolearn from people who you
disagree with, or choosing notto educate ourselves on complex
issues.
The harm of ignorance is thatit leaves us vulnerable.
(06:33):
We make decisions based onincomplete information, we
become easily manipulated bymisinformation, and we remain
blind to the opportunities forgrowth.
Ignorance allows us to be avictim of circumstance because
we haven't given ourselves thetools to navigate it.
(06:54):
The pursuit of truth is an actof empowerment.
Persisting in ignorance is anact of surrendering that power.
So, why do we avoid the truth?
If the truth is so liberating,why do we avoid it?
(07:14):
Our brains are wired forsurvival, and that often means
avoiding pain.
Facing a difficult truthtriggers a primitive fear
response, but it's also tied toour ego.
Our ego wants to be, it wantsto believe we are competent,
we're right, we're in control,and the truth challenges that.
(07:36):
Staying in the known, even ifit's painful, feels safer than
(08:05):
venturing into the unknown.
The truth often forces us tochange, and change can be scary
to trade long-term growth forshort-term comfort.
Truthfully speaking, yeah,yeah, y'all see what I did
there.
Truthfully speaking.
(08:26):
Truthfully speaking, mypersonal issue with avoiding the
truth has been unequivocallytied to my ego and my current
comfort zone that I'm in.
For an example, I'm currentlydealing with the harsh reality
that I may have to actually uhschmooze and brown nose a little
(08:51):
bit to be noticed and possiblyget ahead at my 9-5 job.
And for anyone that knows me,and for the listeners that are
just starting to get to know me,that is not my forte.
It's becoming apparent thatit's becoming apparent that the
(09:12):
myth of it's not about what youknow, it's about who you know is
actually factual.
However, my ego won't let mesee that.
My ego is telling me uh workhard and your hard work will
prevail.
And that's just not happening.
(09:35):
My hard work is not prevailing.
Um the hard truth is I may Imay only be seen as a reliable
worker or someone that solvesthe problems and gets the job
done.
Uh and that I'm I may not beanything interesting outside of
that.
Which sucks because my comfortzone is hard work, being
(09:58):
resourceful and improving theskills that I have.
That's what I'm comfortable indoing.
Um, but unfortunately, it's uhclearer that uh I need to add
schmoozing and brown nosing tomy unofficial resume.
So, listeners, how do we becomeseekers of the truth even when
(10:24):
it's difficult?
One thing that we can do iscultivate humility.
True seekers of the of truthmust be humble enough to admit
that they don't have all theanswers.
They've the first step tofinding a truth you've been
(10:44):
avoiding is to admit you mightbe wrong.
Another example is to practiceradical honesty.
That sounds scary to me.
It's scary as fuck, because uhusually my radical honesty does
not lead me anywhere.
But it's probably because I'mnot starting small.
(11:07):
Maybe I'm being too radical,but um, you know, be honest with
yourself about your emotions,you know, your habits, and your
actions.
This internal honesty is thetraining ground for facing
larger truths, and that'ssomething I need to practice.
(11:28):
Start small.
Another example is uh seekingobjective feedback.
Ask a trusted friend or mentorfor honest feedback, ask them to
tell you the truth, even ifit's difficult to hear.
Shout out to Jane and James,they help me with that all the
time.
Another way is to embracediscomfort.
(11:54):
Learn to tolerate the feelingof discomfort.
Understand that it's atemporary feeling that comes
with growth.
The pain of the truth istemporary, the harm of
self-deceit is chronic.
And last but not least, wegotta learn to use it as a
catalyst.
When a difficult truth isrevealed, immediately we should
(12:18):
shift our mindset from why me towhat can I do now.
We need to use the informationto take corrective action, to
learn, and to grow.
This quote is a timelessreminder that our greatest enemy
is not external forces orpainful realities, but our own
(12:42):
internal resistance to what is.
The truth is our greatestfriend.
It is the light that revealsthe path forward, the tool that
allows us to heal, and thefoundation upon which we can
build a life of integrity,resilience, and genuine freedom.
Thank you for joining me on theAccording to West Podcast.
(13:03):
Until next time, may you havethe courage to pursue the truth
no matter where it leads to you.
Welcome back to the According to West Podcast, the
podcast where we facechallenging truths and discover
the freedom that comes withseeing clearly.
I'm your host West, and todaywe're grappling with a powerful
idea that's as relevant today asit was centuries ago.
No, it's not the idea of it'scheaper to keeper, but the quote
(00:24):
of it's the truth I'm after,and the truth never harmed
anyone.
What harms us is to persist inself-deceit and ignorance.
This quote, often attributed toStoic philosopher Marcus
Aurelius, is a radical departurefrom how many of us
(00:46):
instinctively react to difficultinformation.
We often avoid the truthbecause we're afraid of it or
feel like it's going to bepainful, and we'd rather stay in
the dark than face a realitythat might be uncomfortable,
challenging, or evendevastating.
Marcus Aurelius' message is adirect contradiction to that
(01:09):
impulse.
He argues that the pain isn'tin the truth itself, but in our
willful avoidance of it.
Not facing the truth leaves youlooking wow crazy out here.
(01:35):
Even if you glued on one ofthose man units on your head,
it's it still makes you lookcrazy.
Like everyone knows, my guy.
Everyone knows.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Yep.
Wes (01:48):
As always, let's unpack this and discover why pursuing
the truth, no matter howdifficult, is the ultimate path
to healing and a better life.
The first part of the quote,the truth never harmed anyone,
is a bold claim.
On the surface, it seems wrong.
(02:11):
A difficult diagnosis from adoctor, an honest critique of
our work, or the realizationthat a relationship has failed,
these truths can feel incrediblyharmful.
They can cause emotional pain,fear, and grief.
But Marcus Aurelius is he'sspeaking on a de uh a deeper
(02:34):
level.
He's making a distinctionbetween the transient short-term
pain of a truth and thelong-term systemic harm of
living in a lie.
A diagnosis of an illness ispainful, but the truth of it
allows you to seek treatment andheal.
The lie, persisting inignorance, allows the illness to
(02:59):
fester and cause far greaterharm.
Another example is, you know,admitting your business is
failing is painful.
But the truth allows you topivot, learn from your mistakes,
and try again.
The lie, that lie portion ofthis is, you know, it's
persisting in self-deceit, whichleads to financial ruin and
(03:23):
wasted effort.
Um even confronting a difficultconversation is uh is
uncomfortable.
But the truth of your feelingsor the truth of a situation
allows you it allows forresolution and growth.
The lie in that is uhpersisting in avoidance uh and
(03:48):
avoiding the conversation.
Avoiding that conversationallows resentment to build,
damaging relationship beyondrepair.
And in every single one ofthose cases, the truth is the
catalyst for healing andprogress.
It's an aversion stimulus thatpoints us toward a better path.
(04:14):
The harm isn't in the messengerof truth, it's in the
underlying reality that waspresent all along and which we
choose to ignore.
Now, for the second and perhapsthe most critical part of the
(04:35):
quote, what harm?
What harms us is to persist inself-deceit and ignorance.
This is where we find the realvillain of the story.
Um Marcus Aurelius says thatharm isn't from the outside
world, but from our own act ofchoice to look away.
(04:56):
Self-deceit is when we when welie to ourselves, basically.
It's it's the moment we chooseto believe a comforting fantasy
over a painful reality.
You know, this can manifest indifferent ways, like denial, um,
which is you know, refusing toadmit our problem exists,
(05:18):
rationalization, it inventingexcuses for our bad behavior or
poor decisions, or simplyblaming others, refusing to take
responsibility for our ownactions by projecting fault onto
others.
Self-deceit is a form ofemotional debt.
You avoid the the small,manageable pain of confronting a
(05:42):
problem today, only to have itcompound into a much larger,
more painful issue down theline.
It erodes our integrity andkeeps us stuck in a cycle of bad
habits and poor decisions.
The greatest harm ofself-deceit is that it prevents
us from taking corruptiveaction.
Now, ignorance is um ignoranceis slightly different.
(06:09):
It's not an act of lie, but apassive state of knowing or not
seeking to know.
In a more modern context, it'sabout staying in your in your
own echo chamber, refusing tolearn from people who you
disagree with, or choosing notto educate ourselves on complex
issues.
The harm of ignorance is thatit leaves us vulnerable.
(06:33):
We make decisions based onincomplete information, we
become easily manipulated bymisinformation, and we remain
blind to the opportunities forgrowth.
Ignorance allows us to be avictim of circumstance because
we haven't given ourselves thetools to navigate it.
(06:54):
The pursuit of truth is an actof empowerment.
Persisting in ignorance is anact of surrendering that power.
So, why do we avoid the truth?
If the truth is so liberating,why do we avoid it?
(07:14):
Our brains are wired forsurvival, and that often means
avoiding pain.
Facing a difficult truthtriggers a primitive fear
response, but it's also tied toour ego.
Our ego wants to be, it wantsto believe we are competent,
we're right, we're in control,and the truth challenges that.
(07:36):
Staying in the known, even ifit's painful, feels safer than
(08:05):
venturing into the unknown.
The truth often forces us tochange, and change can be scary
to trade long-term growth forshort-term comfort.
Truthfully speaking, yeah,yeah, y'all see what I did
there.
Truthfully speaking.
(08:26):
Truthfully speaking, mypersonal issue with avoiding the
truth has been unequivocallytied to my ego and my current
comfort zone that I'm in.
For an example, I'm currentlydealing with the harsh reality
that I may have to actually uhschmooze and brown nose a little
(08:51):
bit to be noticed and possiblyget ahead at my 9-5 job.
And for anyone that knows me,and for the listeners that are
just starting to get to know me,that is not my forte.
It's becoming apparent thatit's becoming apparent that the
(09:12):
myth of it's not about what youknow, it's about who you know is
actually factual.
However, my ego won't let mesee that.
My ego is telling me uh workhard and your hard work will
prevail.
And that's just not happening.
(09:35):
My hard work is not prevailing.
Um the hard truth is I may Imay only be seen as a reliable
worker or someone that solvesthe problems and gets the job
done.
Uh and that I'm I may not beanything interesting outside of
that.
Which sucks because my comfortzone is hard work, being
(09:58):
resourceful and improving theskills that I have.
That's what I'm comfortable indoing.
Um, but unfortunately, it's uhclearer that uh I need to add
schmoozing and brown nosing tomy unofficial resume.
So, listeners, how do we becomeseekers of the truth even when
(10:24):
it's difficult?
One thing that we can do iscultivate humility.
True seekers of the of truthmust be humble enough to admit
that they don't have all theanswers.
They've the first step tofinding a truth you've been
(10:44):
avoiding is to admit you mightbe wrong.
Another example is to practiceradical honesty.
That sounds scary to me.
It's scary as fuck, because uhusually my radical honesty does
not lead me anywhere.
But it's probably because I'mnot starting small.
(11:07):
Maybe I'm being too radical,but um, you know, be honest with
yourself about your emotions,you know, your habits, and your
actions.
This internal honesty is thetraining ground for facing
larger truths, and that'ssomething I need to practice.
(11:28):
Start small.
Another example is uh seekingobjective feedback.
Ask a trusted friend or mentorfor honest feedback, ask them to
tell you the truth, even ifit's difficult to hear.
Shout out to Jane and James,they help me with that all the
time.
Another way is to embracediscomfort.
(11:54):
Learn to tolerate the feelingof discomfort.
Understand that it's atemporary feeling that comes
with growth.
The pain of the truth istemporary, the harm of
self-deceit is chronic.
And last but not least, wegotta learn to use it as a
catalyst.
When a difficult truth isrevealed, immediately we should
(12:18):
shift our mindset from why me towhat can I do now.
We need to use the informationto take corrective action, to
learn, and to grow.
This quote is a timelessreminder that our greatest enemy
is not external forces orpainful realities, but our own
(12:42):
internal resistance to what is.
The truth is our greatestfriend.
It is the light that revealsthe path forward, the tool that
allows us to heal, and thefoundation upon which we can
build a life of integrity,resilience, and genuine freedom.
Thank you for joining me on theAccording to West Podcast.
(13:03):
Until next time, may you havethe courage to pursue the truth
no matter where it leads to you.
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