May 8, 2025 • 55 mins
We dive deep into the uncomfortable realities of dating, relationships, and personal hygiene that nobody wants to talk about but everyone needs to hear. From mortifying intimate encounters to financial decisions that make or break relationships, this episode doesn't hold back on the messy truths of adulthood.
• Dating dynamics in your 30s and the evolution of relationship labels
• Home renovation horror stories when trying to save money with the wrong contractor
• Using home equity lines of credit for kitchen renovations against better judgment
• The shocking story of a hygiene disaster during an intimate moment
• Personal finance discussions about 401k plans and retirement savings
• Nostalgic memories of club experiences and music from the early 2010s
• How relationship expectations change as we move through different life stages
• The importance of basic hygiene practices before intimate encounters
Don't forget to subscribe, share, and join the conversation on our social media platforms!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
DeLaw (00:00):
First off, when we in our 30s, do you make any?
Do you officially say, hey,you're my girlfriend, or do is
this a general understandingthat we can get?
Wes (00:06):
I wasn't dating in my 30s, so I can't really say.
DeLaw (00:09):
Oh, okay, well, when you were in your upper 20s.
Well, no, you've been marriedwhat.
You've been married eight years, right.
Wes (00:16):
I don't know, maybe Everybody.
Welcome to another episode ofthe According to Wes podcast,
where strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events
and weak minds discuss people.
Which one will we discuss today?
DeLaw (00:35):
I always say we're the other, because we discuss every
other thing.
Wes (00:41):
We got D-Law here.
DeLaw (00:43):
You got D-Law here.
You got D-Law was sober forfive days in this weekend, aside
the drink you got me, wes.
Wes (00:51):
I was tired of hearing D-Law say that he's sober five
days every other five days.
Hey look, you seen that video,the dude, he looking in the
mirror like the mirror selfieand shit, and he's like this is
day one of not beating my meat.
This is day two of not beatingmy meat.
Then he goes back this is dayone of not beating my meat.
(01:12):
This is day two of not beatingmy meat.
And then he goes this is daythree of not beating my meat.
This is day one of not beatingmy meat.
This, this is still day one,but a couple hours of that being
my meat.
I'm like nigga, you just beatme in between.
DeLaw (01:30):
It can't be no worse than the white guy that said all
right guys, I got my first blackgirlfriend.
This is day one of having ablack girlfriend.
Wes (01:38):
Oh, yeah, he got to one year First off he was a
short-ass white dude.
DeLaw (01:45):
Now he became a 6'2 black guy with locks.
That's one year to date a blackwoman First off.
I've been dating black womensince I was a kid and I ain't
never get taller.
I never get taller.
I ain't grow no locks.
I didn't start growing the realcool facial hair.
Wes (02:06):
I don't think I ain't gonna say that.
DeLaw (02:09):
I was born with my black gift.
Wes (02:12):
That's about it true, indeed, true indeed.
DeLaw (02:18):
I was born with my black gift.
That's about it, man true?
Wes (02:23):
yeah, man, the world is, the world is.
The world is grumbling.
I say that every day, though.
Yes, you do every week, everyday, to myself hey, I'm ready
for the summer.
Only get worse or get better, Idon't know whatever you do,
(02:45):
don't drink St Ives.
What's wrong with St Ives that?
DeLaw (02:48):
shit's nasty.
Wes (02:50):
Oh.
DeLaw (02:50):
That shit's nasty.
Wes (02:52):
I thought you was about to say something like yo.
Some guy was caught jerking offinto bottles of St Ives and
then the stock went down or someshit like that.
DeLaw (02:59):
Nah nope, that's just nasty.
So my homeboy, he drinks itevery day.
Every day I was like he drankat least two, three cans a day,
and so you know it's malt liquor.
Yeah, I know, I was like youknow what, I'm going to try this
shit, all right.
Wes (03:18):
I'm not going back to malt liquor.
DeLaw (03:22):
That shit started tearing my stomach up.
I said maybe my stomach justbooze you a shit Like that shit
started tearing my stomach up.
I said maybe my stomach isbougie as shit.
There's no way that this shitis that bad.
That's either my stomach bougieas shit or I need to stick to
stay in my lane with justregular liquor and fucking Bud
Light, platinums and Coronas.
Wes (03:40):
Shit.
Look, I got bougie taste buds.
I'm not ashamed of that.
I'm an adult now.
So listen, I don't work hardand deal with other people's
bullshit to not be able to eatand drink the shit that I want
to eat and drink.
So it is what it is.
I'm not trying to look at youagain.
I had that one experience I wastelling you about, like when I
(04:02):
was like 18.
I'm just like nah, it's not forme, the smell of it is nasty to
.
I had that one experience I wastelling you about when I was
like 18.
I'm just like nah, it's not forme, the smell of it is nasty to
me.
DeLaw (04:10):
I told my boy I said I drank that St Ives that day.
I couldn't even finish thesecond half of the can.
I was like I would have ratherdrank Old English or 2-11.
And he's like nah, nah.
I was like man, it's suchawesome he must have been down.
He said nah, nah, man.
He said it's like $3, somechange.
(04:32):
I said I ain't talking aboutthe price of it, I'm talking
about the nastiness of it.
Wes (04:37):
So they're looking for that hit to hit you over the head
and I get that, I get it.
I'm not starting my, I'm notstarting or ending my day with
any of that.
You're on my drinking day, youknow what I mean.
Like, if it's, you know you'redoing some day drinking and shit
like that, I'm not ending it orstarting it, or even in the
middle of anything I do morningdrinking, morning and afternoon
(05:05):
drinking Listen, it ain'tnothing wrong with that.
If you know you ain't got shitto do that day, ain't nothing
wrong with that shit.
I used to do that and just likefucking watch.
Not watch but just listen tomusic and let that breeze come
in through the screen and porch.
That's why I'm like yo, I getthis girl.
I know I say this shit all thetime and that little speaker
right there sitting on thatscreen in porch sipping on a
(05:28):
Saturday Especially if it ain'ta day I got to cut the grass
Shit Ring on the summer.
Just came back from the HomeDepot myself.
Sounds fun Getting shit ready.
No, it's not.
I mean it is, but it's not.
A couple things I need tofucking replace around the house
, like the dryer vent holesthat's getting clogged up with
(05:50):
fucking lint and shit.
I had that bitch on for abouttwo, three years.
Trying to replace that.
DeLaw (05:58):
Yeah, the wife convinced me to use our home equity line
of credit to redo the kitchenthat somebody else fucked up.
Wes (06:10):
What Hold on, hold on.
Let me do this.
DeLaw (06:12):
Remember we were getting our kitchen redone and she
wanted to do it on a budget.
So she called her sister'sex-boyfriend who said that he
could do it.
I'm not going to say he did ahorrible job, but he did a
horrible job, ex -boyfriend whosaid that he could do it.
I'm not going to say he did ahorrible job, but he did.
He didn't do the best and itgot to a point my wife was down
(06:33):
there doing some of the work.
Wes (06:34):
I'm like nah, come on now.
That's why we paying some money.
DeLaw (06:38):
It don't look right, it's running.
It's this.
I said that's because he'spainting.
He's painting it while it'sstill in the cabinet instead of
taking the cabinets down.
Of course it's going to run.
I get it Now.
You're doing it.
Wes (06:50):
No, no, no.
What's running the paintshouldn't run it was a stain.
The stain ran.
He didn't clean the walls.
What are we saying?
What is he painting?
DeLaw (07:00):
The original cabinets.
If you look from a distance itdoesn.
So the original cabinets, yeah,so the original cabinets.
Now, mind you, the cabinets ifyou look from a distance doesn't
look bad, it's once you're upon it.
Oh okay, so like where I'm at,Did he sand the cabinets so you
can kind of see the cabinets?
It don't look bad, it looksshiny.
But that's from a distance.
Wes (07:16):
Did he sand them?
DeLaw (07:18):
No, he didn't.
That's the problem.
Right, he painted right over itand everything else.
He's like well, I should stainit, bob, all right, cool.
Now the part he did the best atthat was still suspect and I
think he just mismeasured wasthe countertops.
But he couldn't round thecountertops either, so he kind
of he didn't have a no, I'm allright yeah look Once again on a
(07:40):
budget.
Wes (07:47):
Yeah, but budget means you don't get the best material that
you want.
It doesn't mean you don't getthe the uh, what am I saying?
The things that's needed, likeaccurate measuring I'm not
fucking have budgeting.
Measuring, I'm budgeting.
Am I getting granted or am Igetting courts?
DeLaw (07:59):
that's what I'm budgeting well, you know my wife, the
loving and heartfelt person sheis, and non-listening.
I told her.
I said why don't we just startbuilding up some money, get some
quotes and we can save up tothat so we can get it done right
?
She said no, we want it donenow.
Wes (08:19):
That's not like my wife.
DeLaw (08:21):
So now we got a home equity line.
We were doing a home equityline to do this stuff with the
timeshares, right?
Oh, yeah, I remember andeverything else.
Yeah, this is like well, ifwe're going to do that, then I
want a new kitchen.
We literally, less than a yearago, tried to do a kitchen.
(08:45):
So just because you fucked itup and used your money and
everything else for it, now youwant a new kitchen.
No, and I told her.
I said, if we get a new kitchen, I don't want to hear nothing
about no new anything.
No time soon.
Me Ignoring you.
Yes, yes, I am bitch.
(09:07):
Every other month I want tomove the living room around.
Why it looks man-cavish.
You moved it.
Wes (09:17):
You moved everything it sounds like Mrs Smith wants new
furniture.
She wants a different style,which ain't bad Women know how
to spend money.
Tell me about it.
DeLaw (09:36):
And then get mad at you when you ain't got money to help
fund it.
Wes (09:41):
They get mad at you when you tell them, no, I can have
the money.
The answer is still no, don'tmatter if I got the money.
DeLaw (09:48):
No, no, I want to do something with the kids.
I said, well, look, how aboutthis?
How about we find a quote forthe floor?
So we found a quote for a floor.
Wes (09:58):
I can do the floor yourself .
DeLaw (10:01):
Found a quote for the floor.
Okay, the quote for the floorcame out to.
I want to say 1400.
That's not bad and she's likeshe was always going.
It's going to cost at least six, seven thousand for somebody to
come do it.
I said no, it's what I said six, seven thousands to do what,
what type of floor?
Wes (10:21):
you trying good to get Heated floors.
That'd be nice In the kitchen.
You don't want heated floors inthe kitchen, you want that in
the bathroom.
DeLaw (10:29):
Yeah, but nonetheless I'm like.
First off, we don't have a bigfloor at my parents' house.
We got to do the whole house.
It's literally 2,400, I mean240 square feet.
That ain't big yeah At that.
If someone charges $6,000,nigga you tripping?
Yeah, you're going to have tobounce yeah For 240 square feet.
(10:51):
And you want how much?
Oh hell, no, nigga.
Wes (10:55):
Here's the thing In some cases, depending on what your
floor is made of, the materialthat you can use is so thin but
so stylish as far as likeinterlocking and stuff like that
.
You can do that over thefucking floor that's already
there and call it a day but thebigger issue is that our floor
has a a hill.
DeLaw (11:16):
Wow, from what I gather so you remember our old water
heater that went leaking.
I remember recording, yeah,yeah, yeah.
Apparently that wasn't thefirst time that that water
heater went leaking, like thatand it leaked in that spot.
And I think it leaked in thekitchen when they did all the
(11:36):
cleaning up.
Yeah, that's what I think.
So I'm worried about when theypull up this old flooring.
Wes (11:43):
How much more is going to?
DeLaw (11:44):
cost you Right, I got you At this point is either make do
and let it still have the hill,or fix the fucking hill and
let's keep it rolling All right,so put it this way the floor.
Wes (11:55):
Don't feel bouncy, do it?
DeLaw (11:59):
Between where the slope is, it feels bouncy because it
dips.
Wes (12:06):
So when you said hill, you mean I'm thinking up and down,
you mean Like a slope comingdown.
DeLaw (12:13):
Okay, that's not a hill.
Wes (12:15):
That's a slope, that's damage.
Yeah, it's going to be somemoney.
As a matter of fact, the thingis should we get a new floor,
should we repair this?
And, in the grand scheme ofthings, you're going to have to
get a new floor.
DeLaw (12:30):
So either they want, because they're going to have to
do something to even level it,I don't know, because it looks
like this.
So here's what it looks like.
Wes (12:37):
And y'all don't have a basement right, no so here's
what it looks like.
DeLaw (12:46):
I think the guy who did the work on it before the guy
who sold the house, he broughtsome of his guys and they fixed
it up enough and they kind ofcleared out the stuff that was
damaged and then put the flooron top of it and kept it raw
yeah, the problem has been crazy.
Wes (13:00):
It's been crazy crazy.
I was reading something and itwas saying, like the like it's
the worst.
It's been crazy crazy.
I was reading something and itwas saying like the like it's
the worst it's been in likeyears.
Well, at least in this country,shoot the fucking.
The cat was with his hero.
Yeah, he was selling.
Yeah, jeez louise.
DeLaw (13:22):
I said what?
So my wife's like he's a cat, Iain't worried about it.
I was like how are you?
I said what?
So my wife's like, oh, he's acat, I ain't worried about it.
I'm like he's pulling out hishair.
Wes (13:29):
You're not worried about it .
DeLaw (13:31):
You know, in my head I'm like eh, eh, eh, I would be
worried about that.
Wes (13:36):
That's not a Right.
DeLaw (13:39):
Well, my, my, my supervisor says her cat does the
same thing she need.
My supervisor says her cat doesthe same thing.
She didn't even worry about ittoo.
She didn't even worry about ittoo.
Fucking cat got an allergy.
So eventually they gave himwhatever medicine to get him to
stop itching.
And so he don't itch now, buthe was.
(13:59):
Every time we thought it wasgoing to heal it, the, the, the
scabs.
They wouldn't heal like theydid when they gave them the
medicine and stuff.
They would heal and puff up.
I was like what is that?
I said that ain't normal.
There's no way you could tellme this is normal.
Oh, yeah, no, it's normal.
(14:21):
No, that is not.
That is nowhere close to normal.
But hey, you know, my wife said, oh, I know Beth, and she's
like I didn't know that couldhappen.
Nigga, yeah, nigga, come on.
So cat guy allergies.
(14:42):
Right now I don't think he'stoo bad.
He finishes doses of medicinethat he's supposed to take.
But I think my wife scratchedhim in the head or something and
agitated it.
Yeah, and he's been a littlebit more aggressive than normal.
He normally isn't as aggressiveas he's been these past couple
days, but also when he gets niceoutside.
(15:05):
He do be wanting to go outside.
He do get a tad bit aggressive,like a tad Not like a whole lot
, but he do get a little Likehe'll get up on the bed and bite
you like, let me out, I'm readyto get out, and then once that
time goes that he don't want togo outside or nothing, then he
(15:25):
don't bother nobody.
But yeah, you know he's been alittle extra aggressive for a
long time, yeah, but hey, shithappens so remember, in the
(15:46):
beginning I said with strongminds discuss, and with weak
minds discuss.
Wes (15:53):
Yeah, we're going to be weak today probably going to be
weak yes, we're going to couldbe worse we're going to discuss
these two people.
They're in a relationship, openrelationship, or no?
No, no, they, you know theytogether, just them, as far as I
(16:13):
know.
And something happened and yeah.
So she states Alright, I'mgoing to say the title and then
I'm going to go write it myboyfriend ate me out.
(16:37):
And when he was done he had pooon his nose.
Never been more mortified.
My boyfriend, 22, wanted to eatme out, but his parents were
home.
I'm 24 and said we shouldn't.
But he was so turned on and Iwas turned on.
(17:00):
So I said, okay, we went intoone of the upstairs bathrooms,
went to one of the upstairsbathrooms and you went to town
on me if I didn't have it.
Um, if I, what?
If I didn't have a chance touse wow, I didn't have a chance
to use wet wipes to clean myselfup everything nicely before he,
(17:21):
before he does, I usuallyencourage him to eat me out from
the back.
No, eat me out while I'm on my.
Eat me out while I'm on my back.
She don't know how to spell eator write a sentence.
Eat me out with me on my back.
And that grammar.
And today he insisted on mebeing on my belly over the sink
(17:46):
because he's a butt guy.
DeLaw (17:47):
I don't even know how to sponsor him.
I was mortified I was mortified.
Wes (17:57):
I was mortified that afterwards, when he went back to
his room, he had a smear of pooon his nose.
I eat a very clean diet, excepttoday, god damn taco bell.
Even though I had to use a wetwipe earlier, things weren't,
weren't clean as a whistle inthe butt dimension.
He didn't address it and keptit cool, said it was so hot.
(18:21):
I gave him a bj and swallow, soyou don't normally swallow.
DeLaw (18:25):
Yo yo.
Yo Said it was so hot.
I gave him a BJ and swallowed.
Wes (18:26):
So you don't normally swallow Yo yo, yo yo.
He said after we should do itearlier.
We should do it earlier in theday, and I felt so embarrassed
by that.
I don't know why, but I thinkit's because I'm not normally
that gross in the butt.
Six years of dating and thisnever, ever happened.
(18:50):
He didn't even clean his smearpool off his nose.
DeLaw (18:53):
You crazy.
Wes (18:53):
I lit my finger I lit my finger to run it off and then I
realized it wasn't coming offand it was brown.
I went and got a tissue no wetwipes and licked the paper to
then apply it to his skin toclean it off his nose.
I'm back at my apartment.
(19:15):
I'm too stressed to go to thebathroom and see what he had to
deal with and, by the way, myundies are spotless.
I don't believe you.
I texted him so I could betransparent about it and prevent
it from happening again, and heonly said he needed to buy wet
wipes.
I'm not allergic to it'sprobably fine, but I want to die
(19:38):
inside.
I hope he gets more chattyagain.
He seemed very deadpan and sweetafter the whole situation that
bitch got a dirty butt yo when Iwhen I read that I'm just like
(20:00):
dog for him to do that he ain'tsmell none especially that, not,
it is on his nose no, not eventhat.
like yo, you eating that jointfrom the back, you gotta spread
her cheeks a little bit.
Or you know what I mean, likemaybe, no, not even that, like
yo, you eating that joint fromthe back, you got to spread her
cheeks a little bit.
Or you know what I mean, likemaybe you ain't smell nothing.
(20:20):
You ain't smell, like yo, it'skind of shitty in here, nothing.
DeLaw (20:29):
You ain't look.
That's the part that gets me.
Wes (20:32):
Did he not look when I read that I'm like me?
Did he not look when I readthat?
I'm like yo, I always look.
It's been times I've seenpieces of tissue in that
motherfucker before hitting himfrom the back like he's just
like yo.
Go take a shower.
Like come on now, how the fuckyou don't look and as a woman I
(20:53):
would think you would fighttooth and nail to be like, nah,
it's not happening.
And you ain't got to tell themwhy it's not happening, because
you got to know if you, you knowso fresh and so clean and if
you got a feeling that you'renot, that's just like yo.
Like my wife offered me a bj, ifI know I've been hooping or
doing whatever, or I got a quoteunquote walk, but like I've
(21:15):
been walking all day, so stuffstill might be a little bit.
I'm like, let me have a shower.
I'm going to be, I'm just goingto be a quick shower and then
I'm I'm, I'm, I'm yours, let mego do that, cause I don't never
want to up Like I want my dicksup.
(21:37):
So as a woman I would think shewant her pussy ate constantly,
consistently.
You'll never want to fuck thatup.
DeLaw (21:44):
Yeah, that's definition for it.
You don't fuck this up shall we.
Yeah, I'm like yo, yo I couldnever, I ain't looking at that
shit, no more.
The fact that he I guessliterally he eats I mean I don't
know he got beans like like toeat it from the back.
I ain't never ate no shit fromthe back.
I'm afraid I'm gonna get shiton my nose.
Wes (22:05):
Nah, I've done that.
It ain't something I do often,but I've done it.
It's just one of those thingswhere it's just like I'm scoping
shit out too, and there's a waythat you do it when you ain't
really you know what I mean.
You might want to go like this,spread the cheeks a little bit,
slap it she, thinking you, youknow being, you know sexual and
some foreplay shit or whateverhave you.
But I'm checking.
(22:26):
I'm like what the fuck mightput my thumb in that
motherfucker for a little bit.
You know bowling ball or thumbin the bowl, two fingers in the.
You know what I mean.
Like yo, you do that shit, whynot?
It ain't something I do all thetime, but you know I have
partake.
There's no way I'm not checkingit out.
(22:48):
I don't care if it's been sixyears of dating.
Why the six years of dating?
That's crazy.
But I don't care if it's beensix years of dating.
Why is it six years of dating?
DeLaw (22:53):
That's crazy.
But I don't care if it's.
You know me, that's where I wasgoing, Like that's the problem.
Wes (22:59):
You got to be together six years.
There's no way.
There's no way.
And if that would have happenedI ain't going to lie, I don't
know if my shorty up to my mom's, my parents' I shouldn't have
did that at my parents' house.
DeLaw (23:17):
Well, not just that, why are you still dating after six
years?
Six years?
You should know.
You gotta keep that ass clean.
Wes (23:23):
Here's the thing.
Yeah, you should.
Here's the fact that she saidmy diet isn't as messy it was
messy today.
I'm like what the fuck was thatthen?
And if you know that, why areyou going to let him eat this
shit?
Why, why, why?
You know how mad I would be.
DeLaw (23:45):
So you're just going to have me go down there.
You know I'm about to eat itfrom the back and then you're
just going to act like you ain'twipe your ass.
You know I'm about to hit itfrom the back and then you're
just going to act like you ain'twipe your ass.
You said you knew your butt wasshitty when you wiped with the
first little drink that's whatI'm saying.
Wes (24:00):
You wiped till.
There's nothing left.
DeLaw (24:03):
That's what I was always taught even if you gotta say,
hey, I need some more toiletpaper wiped till you ain't got
nothing left.
It's been times I just don'tnothing left.
Wes (24:12):
No, it's been times I just don't understand that like it's
been times with women like thatwas the one in general.
Like you know, you're hittingthat shit from the back or
whatever.
You just hitting that shit,motherfuckers start farting and
shit like that.
Or you know, arrogantmotherfuckers too juicy or some
shit like that.
I had a girl hop, literallylike I didn't fart, and I'm like
I ain't think, or some shitlike that, you'd be a shit.
I had a girl hop, literallylike that I didn't fart, and I'm
(24:33):
like I ain't think you didrelax, like more like
embarrassed, and I'm like yo, Iget it, I get it.
DeLaw (24:40):
I don't hit James from the back and like, right when
I'm getting into it I can smellthe ass.
I ain't like yo, like thereain't no way your ass went like
this, never been in thatsituation.
Wes (24:51):
Fuck that on the whim shit.
Nigga never been in thatsituation.
DeLaw (24:56):
I be like yo man, if I had a drink?
I ain't never been in that andI look down at my shirt, I'm
like yeah, I remember you, youtelling me the story and I saw.
You know, like you know, peopleget the little marks on.
I'm like yo.
I got this bitches fuckingasterisks on my shirt and I was
(25:19):
like this shit smell like ass.
I'm like yo, I gotta go home.
I'm gonna smell ass all the wayhome nah, nah, nah, nah, I am.
Wes (25:30):
I'm very fortunate and blessed to say that each and
every time I ain't never hadnothing like that and they knew
I was coming over or they knewwhat time it was, like they
prepared for it.
Even if we was going to dosomething in the car, shit after
the movie, or whatever have you, she, prepared for it?
So it was just like yo.
I ain't never had no weirdsmells.
(25:50):
Only thing I've gotten was likeyo, it's a piece of tissue
right there, not a big piece oftissue, there's a little piece
of tissue.
I'm like um, man, it don'tstink.
So I'm back here.
It is what it is, lucky you.
It is what it is my.
But yeah, I, um, I mean, butyeah, I, I mean.
(26:12):
Shout out to her for sharingher story wipe your ass.
DeLaw (26:18):
Nigga wipe your ass.
So how you?
401k doing man my 401k doingman.
Wes (26:35):
My 401k or your 457 or your 25070 or some shit.
DeLaw (26:41):
Well, you know, with my first two years in the state, I
didn't do it, so I just startedmy you started at the worst time
.
Wes (26:51):
Yeah, I just started my, you started yours at the worst
time.
DeLaw (26:53):
Yeah, I just started mine , so we'll see how it goes.
I ain't putting a lot, I don'tgot a lot of money to put into
it, but I'm just putting what Ican.
I'm pretty sure all I got ismaybe about 60 bucks in there
(27:14):
right now.
60 bucks, I mean I alreadystarted in January, like January
, september, so and then I'mabout to stop one of them
because it's not a Roth, it's a,it's a pre-tax.
So I'm about to stop that.
I'm going to just take thesplit, the money I was putting
into that one, and throw it intothe other two.
I mean, what am I going to dowith this $30 that's in that one
(27:39):
?
I really wanted to be like canI pull this out, take the
penalty and put it?
Wes (27:43):
somewhere else.
Yeah, you can roll it over.
You ain't got to do that.
You can just ask them if you'regoing to roll it over to
someone else.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, justtalk to your.
DeLaw (27:52):
Uh, whoever you would, we do that well, the state of
maryland got their own.
Wes (27:56):
That they do oh yeah, this terror, shit ain't uh scaring
you no why not?
DeLaw (28:10):
um, because I grew up in the late 80s and early 90s, when
shit was bad anyway, youweren't an adult back then.
Wes (28:19):
Nah, I was a kid.
That don't apply it applies.
Alright, if I can make itthrough that wait till you find
out your white claws ain't fromthe United States and they from
some key ingredients from Indiaor some shit like that.
Or the aluminum is coming fromChina for the cans.
DeLaw (28:39):
You think they're lacing them with fentanyl?
Wes (28:41):
No, I'm saying they might cost a little bit more.
DeLaw (28:45):
Look, they start costing too much.
I already pre-stockpiled.
You can see that right there inthe picture.
That's true.
There ain't no price on thisover here.
It's already paid for.
So if anything, if I restockthose last two bottles, I can
(29:07):
start from this end over here,which is tequila, or I can start
at the other end, which is rum,and work my way to tequila, or
start with tequila and work myway over to rum.
Wes (29:19):
Yeah.
DeLaw (29:20):
I literally have.
I got about 30 bottles overthere, 18 shots in a bottle.
Multiply that together Iprobably got two years of taking
one shot a day.
Wes (29:35):
We know you're not taking one shot a day.
DeLaw (29:39):
If I open certain bottles , the wife might be like, let me
get one too, Let me get one IfI open the right bottle.
I got to keep opening the wrongbottle, so I'll have enough
alcohol for a year and a halfuntil prices go down.
I had to strategically do that,so I got to wait until Trump's
(29:59):
second to the second half of hisand then start that.
One shot boom.
Wes (30:09):
Yo, I ain't gonna lie, I'm not scared, I am.
Yo, I ain't gonna lie, I'm notscared, I am.
I guess I'm just worried aboutother people, if that makes any
sense, like their dispositionand shit.
People tend to be a little like.
Remember after COVID andeverybody was starting to be let
outside and everybody was justa little bit more aggressive
because they had to sit insidewhere they love ones, and they
(30:33):
couldn't take their asses.
I will never remember, I willnever forget the like when
Russell Westbrook was playingfor the Wizards.
You know he was in a fight withthe dude on the in the well,
not almost, but in the standsand shit, because I think he
threw a bunch of shit on him.
I'm for no reason, I was likeyo, so um, no, he threw
(30:58):
something.
DeLaw (30:58):
After he said something, westbrook said something to him.
Uh, he says he, he said hecalled westbrook something and
westbrook went over.
So I was like who the fuck areyou talking to?
I'll beat your ass.
And then he threw something.
Man, that's what.
That's that whole thing.
Because he got one thing.
He's like yeah, we get a lot ofverbal abuse, but you don't
(31:20):
call me no bitch or some shitlike that.
And it was a white dude too,yeah, you know what kills me?
The white dudes that got blackcharacters on 2k.
They say nigga, like we don'tknow the cadence of their voice.
Wes (31:35):
I ain't never had that.
I ain't never had that happen.
I didn't even know that was athing.
So they be caught.
They main character is a blackperson and they white.
You don't think they justtrolling just a little bit?
DeLaw (31:56):
Put it this way they're out of the mind frame that
there's people in the world thatdon't know that if you make a
black character, it doesn't meanyou're black.
They assume that I'm a blackcharacter.
They can't tell the differenceif I'm white or not.
Wes (32:07):
No, we can tell.
DeLaw (32:08):
We can tell there was a dude.
I remember it was 2K18.
No, we can tell.
We can tell there was a dude.
I remember it was 2K18.
I was on with my boy, rk, andJizzle from the Pittsburgh guys
that rap and RK was like yo.
He's like nigga, you white.
He's like yeah, yeah, I'm white.
And why you got a blackcharacter?
(32:29):
Oh, that was just a defaultcharacter.
Wes (32:37):
No, it ain't.
Everyone knows it was.
That was just a defaultcharacter.
No, it ain't we all.
Everyone knows, and anything,the default character is always
white.
Any video game character always.
DeLaw (32:43):
I don't know if 2k saves what my last character did, but
my 2k character always looks thesame every time I go into the
default setting, really, yeah,so mine always comes out black.
That's why my character alwayslooks the same because it pops
up as the same every time I gointo the default setting.
Really, yeah, so mine alwayscomes out black.
That's why my character alwayslooks the same.
It pops up as the same personagain.
I'm like, oh, okay, cool.
Wes (32:59):
I'll be creating my face, restructuring and all that
bullshit RK started trolling.
DeLaw (33:06):
He's like so, do you wish you were a black person?
He's like oh, no, no, no, it'sjust the default care.
Are you sure you know?
Do you say nigga or nigger?
Valid, valid questions, validquestions, valid questions.
I can only imagine the dude waslike the right answer.
Wes (33:25):
The right answer is what?
Neither and I feel disrespectedthat you think I'm that type of
white motherfucker.
That is how you respond to that.
Speaking of brown, because wejust talked about a dude with
shit on his nose and shit likethat.
(33:45):
Yo can you believe.
What are some household itemsyou think people are using as a
lube nowadays?
What are some household itemsyou think people are using as a
lube nowadays besides Vaseline?
Besides Vaseline and baby oiland KY probably some shea butter
(34:09):
that is on the list.
That is on the list.
That is on the list some sheabutter, maybe some.
DeLaw (34:19):
Maybe they come down here get some vegetable oil olive
oil.
Wes (34:25):
Olive oil and coconut oil is on the list oh man, what
about black seed oil?
Nah, casserole Nope, that's thethickest shit, but somebody's
using honey.
DeLaw (34:37):
They won't be stuck in that thing forever.
Wes (34:40):
Once you get it warm.
DeLaw (34:41):
It does kind of lube it up.
Or maybe they're using it sothat when it comes out that they
don't got to taste the dino andthe penis and they just lick
the honey off.
I don't know Butter, butter.
Wes (34:51):
Aloe vera Dino on the penis and they just lick the honey
off, I don't know Butter.
Butter Aloe vera.
DeLaw (34:57):
We need a disclaimer on this one that this segment right
here is not recommended foranyone and is not condoned.
Wes (35:06):
CBD oil.
That's the part I'm like yo.
What are you doing?
What are?
DeLaw (35:11):
you doing?
They're trying to relax themuscles in the penis.
Wes (35:14):
No, I don't need that.
Need no motherfucking tents.
And ready to fight, ready tofight the good night.
Here's the crazy thing that Idon't understand Soaps and
shampoo.
I know you've been young whenyou was in the shower and you
you washing up and shit likethat and you accidentally get
soap in your pee hole.
That shit burn yeah.
(35:36):
So I was just like yo.
Why am I stroking to that?
DeLaw (35:41):
Well, someone beating off with this.
Wes (35:42):
No, they are, they were using.
Yeah, they either be novelinserting that.
DeLaw (35:50):
Now have I been showering and I got soap on me.
She's like just put it in me.
I'm like you sure that mightburn.
Wes (35:57):
Just do it all right, but I ain't never been in no
situation like that.
I don't care to be in asituation like that.
DeLaw (36:02):
Soap and shampoo like come on now me and my wife was
when we was at the hotel yo yoyo don't share.
Wes (36:08):
Do not share that.
Don't share that.
She Do not share that.
Don't share that.
She's going to beat your ass.
Do not share that.
DeLaw (36:15):
I wouldn't give full details.
It's one of the few times thatwe ever were in the shower
together.
We were young and dumb.
I mean, mind you, we were inour mid to late 30s, but we were
young and dumb, you know.
You know, like we were youngand dumb, she liked me, I liked
(36:41):
her.
We were in a hotel when we saidwell, shit, we might as well.
Wes (36:45):
Yeah, I was going together.
DeLaw (36:47):
Yeah, we were going together Exactly.
You know how it is when you getto a certain age bracket.
We all are adults and if thatmeans that we have sex all over
the place and never get marriedand we break up and move with
somebody else, it is what it is.
You're going to enjoy yourselfeach person you get, and that's
(37:08):
where we were.
He's like I don't know if we'regoing to be together, so I'm
going to fuck your brains outand then just kind of wean
myself off of it.
I'm like alright, she didn'tsay that to you, that was
verbatim you're lying verbatim.
Wes (37:22):
I don't know if we gonna be together.
She played you.
She knew once she did that shitto you you wasn't leaving.
She played you, you got played.
DeLaw (37:33):
I got played.
I was married.
Wes (37:40):
She played you.
I have never heard a woman saythat I don't know if we're going
.
That's some toxic ex-boyfriendshit.
I don't know if we're going tobe together, but you know what?
I'm going to give you this gooddick and you know.
If you feel like you want tostay, you can stay, but you know
, I don't know what this isgoing to lead us.
(38:01):
All the while he knew he wasgoing to fuck her crazy and she
was yeah.
DeLaw (38:07):
I understand her motive behind that.
I think it turned into when Iasked her.
I said why would you say that?
Mind you, this is after we leftthe hotel and that whole
weekend was over.
Wes (38:16):
I ain't gonna do that while you're gone.
What did she want you to do?
To bring your A-game.
She was like I ain't got timefor this bullshit, Bring your
A-game.
DeLaw (38:22):
Well, what she told me was you don't want to make me
your girlfriend.
If we're not doing all we'redoing is fucking, then I'm gonna
do that until I'm tired offucking you and then I'm gonna
move on.
You didn't hold on, you didn'twant to make her your girl first
(38:43):
off.
When we in our 30s, do you makeany?
Do you officially say, hey,you're my girlfriend, or do?
Wes (38:48):
is this a general understanding that I wasn't
dating in my 30s, so I can'treally say.
DeLaw (38:54):
When you were in your upper 20s.
You've been married eight years, right I don't know, maybe who
believes that.
Wes (39:06):
I know the day.
I never know the years.
DeLaw (39:09):
What year?
Wes (39:09):
did y'all get married?
I said I don't know the.
I know the day.
I don't know.
DeLaw (39:14):
If I knew the year I'd be able to calculate that lord
lord maybe 2018, I think, Idon't know but I put this way I
know for sure you weren'tmarried in 2000, I want to say
2016.
I know for sure you weren'tmarried Because wasn't that the
(39:36):
party?
That was the party where I madethe fried chicken for B's
birthday, right?
Was it 2016?
Wes (39:44):
I'm not good.
2016, I definitely wasn'tmarried because all in that year
I graduated from college, Ibought the house, still living
with my mom.
We already went through this,bought the house and was paying
two, not paying two mortgages,paying the mortgage here and
help pay a mortgage at my mom'shouse because she had lost her
job.
So I was like, well, shit, I'mout to stay here At my mom's
(40:08):
house and I fixed up the joint.
So that's 2016.
I know, so that's 2016, 2017.
So, yeah, I might've married mywife, 2018.
DeLaw (40:16):
I think I don't know, I knew you weren't married then
because when we came to thatparty that day, I think we were
at their house, like that Sunday, and she was like, yeah, I
can't.
They were like for this party,I think it was a D's birthday
party, and it was D's birthdayparty or B's birthday party.
Well, nonetheless it was one oftheir birthdays.
I don't remember this.
(40:36):
I think it was D's birthdayparty.
We were at the house, we didkaraoke.
Wes (40:42):
I was not there.
I don't remember karaoke.
DeLaw (40:45):
We did karaoke and D and them.
They did their first dance.
I don't remember they were outemceeding.
I was like this, this the songfor their first dance.
Wes (40:55):
And and him, her, and there's some I must've been
fucked up or drunk Like I do not, I don't remember.
DeLaw (41:04):
We got there late.
Where were they living at?
They were living in um.
They were living in C Pleasant,close to C Pleasant.
Close to C Pleasant, not in CPleasant, if I'm not mistaken.
(41:29):
What was it?
Glendale?
Wes (41:32):
what was it?
DeLaw (41:33):
Glendale no, it was close to C Pleale.
No, it was close to C Pleasant.
I remember that it was close toC Pleasant.
Wes (41:38):
What is close to C?
Pleasant to you.
DeLaw (41:40):
It wasn't in C Pleasant, but it was in the surrounding
area of C Pleasant.
Wes (41:46):
When I think C Pleasant, I think MLK, c Pleasant Road, yeah
, I don't even think C PleasantRoad, yeah, I don't even think
uh, c Pleasant Road, I think Ithink C Pleasant Community
Center, I think MLK, I thinkArwick Armore, I think Glen
(42:06):
Arden.
DeLaw (42:06):
That's Glen Arden, yeah.
Wes (42:08):
Further down.
Where did they not live?
They lived, though, by thestadium.
Is that what you're talkingabout?
Yeah, oh no, no, no, no.
The backside the house, yes,the house.
Don't remember this party.
DeLaw (42:23):
Damn.
Wes (42:23):
Really, I don't remember this party.
They had their seven-day.
DeLaw (42:28):
Adventist friends over there and everything else and
they were doing karaoke Remember.
Wes (42:34):
Yeah, goddamn man.
DeLaw (42:36):
yeah, remember what she do like maybe she sung a song
and her boyfriend got up thereand sung too and and rapped
jay-z parts of what they did,drunk that was what that was.
Wes (42:46):
I remember that, yeah, because b made him do that like
do a dude, I was just like, ohmy gosh, right I.
I remember that I was drunk.
I was drunk as a motherfucker.
DeLaw (42:59):
So you weren't, I was there.
Wes (43:03):
You were there.
DeLaw (43:04):
But what I'm saying is you weren't married then.
Because the whole conversationthat came up was they told so my
girl at the time.
I said, yeah, they said youcan't come.
She said, the fuck.
You mean I'm making jello shotsand I'm coming.
Your girl said that, yeah,that's what she said.
I was like, oh, why'd they sayshe couldn't go?
I don't know it was, it was,that was a question.
(43:24):
We both asked a question, likeyou, because she told you you
couldn't bring yours, I couldn'tbring mine, told dad, and we
both said she said, but withNicole, whose husband died, she
could bring her and her, her andher boyfriend can come, because
he was trying to get him, get D, into the Secret Service so he
(43:47):
could come, so they both couldcome, but we couldn't bring.
I was like, well then, I ain'tcoming, well, he don't want you
there, I don't remember any ofthis shit.
Come on, you got to rememberthat conversation.
We weren't that drunk becausethat was the same night where.
Here's the thing.
Wes (44:02):
That was like what eight years down there, like what six
years ago, seven years ago.
So it was like no, I'm sorry,not seven, like nine years ago,
it was like nine years ago.
I'm not going to remember aparticular, I barely remember
being there, but I do rememberthat.
DeLaw (44:17):
I'm trying to think because me and my girlfriend at
the time, we broke up in 2018,right after my birthday, and so
this part, this party, had to be2017.
Excuse me, how many are to be?
Wes (44:34):
2017.
Excuse me, how?
DeLaw (44:36):
many are there.
It had to be 2017.
So, yeah, 2017, that's what itwas.
And you weren't married thenBecause you were like I got to
mind fuck my girlfriend and saidwhy now she can come?
(44:57):
At that, I already told her shecouldn't come.
It's this, this and this.
And then she was there.
I don't know if it was yourcurrent wife.
We were all there.
Wes (45:05):
I was with my girl.
DeLaw (45:07):
We were there with your girl, but when we all had the
conversation, I remember becauseB fucking sung.
Wes (45:14):
I remember now B sung her song and she jumped on my wife's
lap and started singing herperformance and shit like that.
I remember this shit.
DeLaw (45:24):
So that was who you're married to.
Now.
That was there.
Wes (45:27):
That had to have been the only one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
DeLaw (45:32):
So I'm the only one who.
Wes (45:35):
I'm thinking that was it, because I'm like I had to try to
remember that because they wereat the house.
DeLaw (45:41):
Yeah, I remember, yeah and um, yeah, I was like, so I
can't bring her.
Look, my girl was like, waslike, she's like, oh really,
it's her birthday.
Okay, cool, I'm going to makejello shots and I got over there
early.
Wes (46:01):
I don't remember any of this.
Like I was told, I don't knowman.
DeLaw (46:05):
When I told my girl about it, she pretty much said I'm
making jello shots.
And then she said she wascoming.
She didn't give a shit what Bsaid with.
B said she ain't giving a shit.
She said I'm coming, you ain'tgoing there without me, I'm
making jello shots.
So she brought the jello shots.
I went over there early thatmorning and fried the chicken
the chicken I ate.
I fried the chicken.
I came over there early in theday and I left.
(46:27):
I came back and I was doingsomething in my room and I was
running late and my girl calledme like where the fuck are you
at?
I was like, oh shit, I didn'trealize what time it was.
So then she was like if we getover there there's no chicken,
nigga, I'm gonna beat your ass.
And we got over there.
There was still a little bit ofchicken left.
I'm like thank God.
And she did the Beyonce joint.
If you like it, then you shouldhave put a ring on it.
(46:48):
Yeah, I remember that night.
Wes (46:52):
Yeah, man, of course you can remember that night.
DeLaw (46:55):
You know how drunk I was that night.
Wes (46:57):
I mean you remembered her performing for the ring, wasn't?
DeLaw (46:59):
you, I remember that.
I remember other stuff thathappened that day.
I almost got myself in trouble,did you?
Yeah, you remember her littleskinny friend.
Me and her used to mess arounda little bit, but we weren't
messing around.
I took pictures with her.
I think I texted her when Ileft.
My girl seen the drink becausewe got a hotel room because I
(47:23):
was so drunk.
Yeah, it was a lot that went on.
Man, lord, lord, lord.
Wes (47:32):
I must have just went home, fucked and went to sleep.
DeLaw (47:35):
That's what it sounds like, yeah.
Wes (47:39):
Cause I don't remember.
I remember bits and pieces ofthat night, damn.
You know.
I was just thinking about likethe other night, friday night, I
was sitting on the sofa andshit With my wife and I was just
Listening to all the fuckingsongs from like 2012 and going
up like all the 2009 10 maybegoing up, that we was in the
(48:03):
club to a lot of future, a lotof you know the old Drake and
shit like that.
DeLaw (48:11):
I forgot.
You got, a couple years late,the only songs that were going
on in the club at that time.
Back that Ass Up and the BlackNational Anthem Knuck If you
Buck.
No, it wasn't.
Wes (48:23):
Not 2012.
Knuck, if you, buck, wasn'tgoing on, I was in the club 2012
.
DeLaw (48:28):
I was in the club 2007 to 2000.
Wes (48:33):
Those were not the songs.
Those were not the songs.
Those were not the songs.
DeLaw (48:39):
Look, I'm a gat toward Higgins on your dance street.
Nah, it was a lot.
Wes (48:50):
It was a lot of Gucci, it was some future.
DeLaw (48:54):
How close were you going to?
You were supposed to go to thehood clubs.
Wes (48:59):
Not really.
Maybe.
I mean that's when Right Outthe Dream became Love and Ibiza
was still in full effect.
That whole strip now by FloridaAve.
None of them clubs are thereanymore.
K Street Lounge K Street Loungeis not there, no more.
I don't think.
DeLaw (49:19):
Parks are there.
Wes (49:20):
Yeah.
DeLaw (49:22):
But they were playing.
I guess when me and Hawaii wentto the club a couple times,
they were playing swag surf.
You know what it was.
I said 2012, so damn heavy.
I couldn't tell what the hellwas going on, I just knew this
(49:42):
shit sounded good like.
When I went to Miami with my ex, we uh, they played this song.
They played soft by G Wells,rick Ross, meek Mill and Fab
right, and I had no clue whatthis song was.
You never, never, heard of Soft.
Maybe, Get some heavy bait.
Have a couple drinks.
Alright, have a couple drinks.
(50:03):
I'm trying to tell you how Iheard this song the first time.
I want you to have that sameexperience.
Have a couple drinks, get alittle tipsy.
Look up Soft by Joel Santana.
It's off of God Willing.
It's off of God Willing, hisGod Willing mixtape.
So I'm calling it soft.
Rick Ross does the hook.
Meek Mill has a second verse,closes it out.
(50:25):
Don't listen to Meek Mill'sverse.
It ain't as good as Fab orJewel's, alright.
But when you hear it and thatbass in you Y'all whole niggas
so soft and that shit hit you belike, oh shit, when I hear this
song I'm in Miami, so I'm downthere in Rick Ross' territory.
(50:46):
That shit, I'm like yo, thisshit cold.
Wes (50:50):
Okay, you also was probably at a premium club and not like
the shit.
DeLaw (50:55):
We was at Cameo in Miami.
At Cameo, us being fromMaryland out here DC Maryland we
get down there.
It's about 10 o'clock, 11o'clock.
It's like why are you out hereso early?
We didn't know when the?
Oh yeah, I think we got therelike at 9 or 10.
Yeah, we don't open till 12.
No, oh yeah, I think we gotthere like at 9 or 10.
(51:16):
Yeah, we don't open till 12.
No, listen, we don't open tilllike 11, 12 oh, close up, here
was closing like 1 1 right, sowhen we get back, we get back
number 1.
My girl was like oh, this guysaid that.
No, the person said they'rebringing a limousine from this
(51:38):
hotel to here.
I said, well, that's our hotel,I will find such and such and
they will get you set up.
So we paid him.
I think I paid him like $100,maybe $102, $100, $106.
We got all our drinks for freeat the bar, at the hotel bar
first off.
Then it was a limousine ridethere and then we got a
(52:01):
limousine ride back.
When the club was over I wasalready so fucked up I told her.
I said let's roll the fuck out,yeah, and we left, got a taxi
back.
This is before Uber.
We just said taxi.
I let her do it because at thatpoint she's sexy, so they're
going to stop for her.
I just didn't stand too closeand then I hopped in the window.
(52:25):
That's not God.
You bring down old memories.
Wes (52:33):
The good old days before I started eating pussy from the
back.
I can't even say the good olddays, because I started eating
pussy from the back.
DeLaw (52:37):
I can't even say the good old days because I never ate no
pussy from the back.
We'll just say the days beforemy good days.
Let me see, this is us at Cameo.
You know what I'm saying?
That's why I let her get thecat.
(52:57):
The taxi, yeah.
But yeah, that's, that's 2013.
Damn, that's a.
That's a.
That's a young d law.
That's uh, 12 years ago.
What am I?
I'm 39 now.
That means I was 27 with thislittle 24-year-old.
Yeah, she was younger than you.
(53:19):
Yeah, she was considerably.
She was the longestrelationship I had with someone
who was not old, who wasn't inmy same age range or older.
Wes (53:32):
Yeah, sure.
DeLaw (53:34):
Because Hawaii was younger than me and me and
Hawaii lasted like eight months.
Hawaii was younger than me, meand Hawaii lasted like eight
months.
She was out of Hawaii.
Yeah, she was out of Hawaii.
It was funny how me and her gottogether.
Me and Hawaii broke up.
Me and her were always chilling.
Eventually she broke up withher boyfriend.
(53:55):
I was like well, I mean, youget to an age now where you're
kind of knowing that you're sexy, you know, hey, look, oh my God
, oh no, these women out here,they lucky.
I'm married because Yo did.
(54:16):
You just get in trouble lastweek yeah, I did, but still, oh
no, these women, they're luckythat I'm married, because these
younger chicks, even though Imight only fuck them one or two
times before they realize like,alright, this ain, this ain't my
, this ain't the type of niggaI'm trying to get at, but I can
(54:39):
talk their panties off, you know, talk them panties, look.
It ain't about whether or notwe together or not At this day
and age, from what I'm seeingfrom everybody that's single out
here.
This shit ain't about beingtogether or building something
or getting married, whatever.
This whole shit is about whatyou can get from somebody and
what you're not going to givethem.
And in my heyday I'd have beenbetter than Pepe King.
Wes (55:09):
On that note.
On that note, young fellas outhere continue to talk their
panties off, but if they gotshit slings in them, don't
proceed.
DeLaw (55:21):
And if you need a class on it, I'm charging $50 per
class.
Wes (55:28):
Thank everybody for tuning in.
He gonna get himself in trouble.
See you next time.
First off, when we in our 30s, do you make any?
Do you officially say, hey,you're my girlfriend, or do is
this a general understandingthat we can get?
Wes (00:06):
I wasn't dating in my 30s, so I can't really say.
DeLaw (00:09):
Oh, okay, well, when you were in your upper 20s.
Well, no, you've been marriedwhat.
You've been married eight years, right.
Wes (00:16):
I don't know, maybe Everybody.
Welcome to another episode ofthe According to Wes podcast,
where strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events
and weak minds discuss people.
Which one will we discuss today?
DeLaw (00:35):
I always say we're the other, because we discuss every
other thing.
Wes (00:41):
We got D-Law here.
DeLaw (00:43):
You got D-Law here.
You got D-Law was sober forfive days in this weekend, aside
the drink you got me, wes.
Wes (00:51):
I was tired of hearing D-Law say that he's sober five
days every other five days.
Hey look, you seen that video,the dude, he looking in the
mirror like the mirror selfieand shit, and he's like this is
day one of not beating my meat.
This is day two of not beatingmy meat.
Then he goes back this is dayone of not beating my meat.
(01:12):
This is day two of not beatingmy meat.
And then he goes this is daythree of not beating my meat.
This is day one of not beatingmy meat.
This, this is still day one,but a couple hours of that being
my meat.
I'm like nigga, you just beatme in between.
DeLaw (01:30):
It can't be no worse than the white guy that said all
right guys, I got my first blackgirlfriend.
This is day one of having ablack girlfriend.
Wes (01:38):
Oh, yeah, he got to one year First off he was a
short-ass white dude.
DeLaw (01:45):
Now he became a 6'2 black guy with locks.
That's one year to date a blackwoman First off.
I've been dating black womensince I was a kid and I ain't
never get taller.
I never get taller.
I ain't grow no locks.
I didn't start growing the realcool facial hair.
Wes (02:06):
I don't think I ain't gonna say that.
DeLaw (02:09):
I was born with my black gift.
Wes (02:12):
That's about it true, indeed, true indeed.
DeLaw (02:18):
I was born with my black gift.
That's about it, man true?
Wes (02:23):
yeah, man, the world is, the world is.
The world is grumbling.
I say that every day, though.
Yes, you do every week, everyday, to myself hey, I'm ready
for the summer.
Only get worse or get better, Idon't know whatever you do,
(02:45):
don't drink St Ives.
What's wrong with St Ives that?
DeLaw (02:48):
shit's nasty.
Wes (02:50):
Oh.
DeLaw (02:50):
That shit's nasty.
Wes (02:52):
I thought you was about to say something like yo.
Some guy was caught jerking offinto bottles of St Ives and
then the stock went down or someshit like that.
DeLaw (02:59):
Nah nope, that's just nasty.
So my homeboy, he drinks itevery day.
Every day I was like he drankat least two, three cans a day,
and so you know it's malt liquor.
Yeah, I know, I was like youknow what, I'm going to try this
shit, all right.
Wes (03:18):
I'm not going back to malt liquor.
DeLaw (03:22):
That shit started tearing my stomach up.
I said maybe my stomach justbooze you a shit Like that shit
started tearing my stomach up.
I said maybe my stomach isbougie as shit.
There's no way that this shitis that bad.
That's either my stomach bougieas shit or I need to stick to
stay in my lane with justregular liquor and fucking Bud
Light, platinums and Coronas.
Wes (03:40):
Shit.
Look, I got bougie taste buds.
I'm not ashamed of that.
I'm an adult now.
So listen, I don't work hardand deal with other people's
bullshit to not be able to eatand drink the shit that I want
to eat and drink.
So it is what it is.
I'm not trying to look at youagain.
I had that one experience I wastelling you about, like when I
(04:02):
was like 18.
I'm just like nah, it's not forme, the smell of it is nasty to
.
I had that one experience I wastelling you about when I was
like 18.
I'm just like nah, it's not forme, the smell of it is nasty to
me.
DeLaw (04:10):
I told my boy I said I drank that St Ives that day.
I couldn't even finish thesecond half of the can.
I was like I would have ratherdrank Old English or 2-11.
And he's like nah, nah.
I was like man, it's suchawesome he must have been down.
He said nah, nah, man.
He said it's like $3, somechange.
(04:32):
I said I ain't talking aboutthe price of it, I'm talking
about the nastiness of it.
Wes (04:37):
So they're looking for that hit to hit you over the head
and I get that, I get it.
I'm not starting my, I'm notstarting or ending my day with
any of that.
You're on my drinking day, youknow what I mean.
Like, if it's, you know you'redoing some day drinking and shit
like that, I'm not ending it orstarting it, or even in the
middle of anything I do morningdrinking, morning and afternoon
(05:05):
drinking Listen, it ain'tnothing wrong with that.
If you know you ain't got shitto do that day, ain't nothing
wrong with that shit.
I used to do that and just likefucking watch.
Not watch but just listen tomusic and let that breeze come
in through the screen and porch.
That's why I'm like yo, I getthis girl.
I know I say this shit all thetime and that little speaker
right there sitting on thatscreen in porch sipping on a
(05:28):
Saturday Especially if it ain'ta day I got to cut the grass
Shit Ring on the summer.
Just came back from the HomeDepot myself.
Sounds fun Getting shit ready.
No, it's not.
I mean it is, but it's not.
A couple things I need tofucking replace around the house
, like the dryer vent holesthat's getting clogged up with
(05:50):
fucking lint and shit.
I had that bitch on for abouttwo, three years.
Trying to replace that.
DeLaw (05:58):
Yeah, the wife convinced me to use our home equity line
of credit to redo the kitchenthat somebody else fucked up.
Wes (06:10):
What Hold on, hold on.
Let me do this.
DeLaw (06:12):
Remember we were getting our kitchen redone and she
wanted to do it on a budget.
So she called her sister'sex-boyfriend who said that he
could do it.
I'm not going to say he did ahorrible job, but he did a
horrible job, ex -boyfriend whosaid that he could do it.
I'm not going to say he did ahorrible job, but he did.
He didn't do the best and itgot to a point my wife was down
(06:33):
there doing some of the work.
Wes (06:34):
I'm like nah, come on now.
That's why we paying some money.
DeLaw (06:38):
It don't look right, it's running.
It's this.
I said that's because he'spainting.
He's painting it while it'sstill in the cabinet instead of
taking the cabinets down.
Of course it's going to run.
I get it Now.
You're doing it.
Wes (06:50):
No, no, no.
What's running the paintshouldn't run it was a stain.
The stain ran.
He didn't clean the walls.
What are we saying?
What is he painting?
DeLaw (07:00):
The original cabinets.
If you look from a distance itdoesn.
So the original cabinets, yeah,so the original cabinets.
Now, mind you, the cabinets ifyou look from a distance doesn't
look bad, it's once you're upon it.
Oh okay, so like where I'm at,Did he sand the cabinets so you
can kind of see the cabinets?
It don't look bad, it looksshiny.
But that's from a distance.
Wes (07:16):
Did he sand them?
DeLaw (07:18):
No, he didn't.
That's the problem.
Right, he painted right over itand everything else.
He's like well, I should stainit, bob, all right, cool.
Now the part he did the best atthat was still suspect and I
think he just mismeasured wasthe countertops.
But he couldn't round thecountertops either, so he kind
of he didn't have a no, I'm allright yeah look Once again on a
(07:40):
budget.
Wes (07:47):
Yeah, but budget means you don't get the best material that
you want.
It doesn't mean you don't getthe the uh, what am I saying?
The things that's needed, likeaccurate measuring I'm not
fucking have budgeting.
Measuring, I'm budgeting.
Am I getting granted or am Igetting courts?
DeLaw (07:59):
that's what I'm budgeting well, you know my wife, the
loving and heartfelt person sheis, and non-listening.
I told her.
I said why don't we just startbuilding up some money, get some
quotes and we can save up tothat so we can get it done right
?
She said no, we want it donenow.
Wes (08:19):
That's not like my wife.
DeLaw (08:21):
So now we got a home equity line.
We were doing a home equityline to do this stuff with the
timeshares, right?
Oh, yeah, I remember andeverything else.
Yeah, this is like well, ifwe're going to do that, then I
want a new kitchen.
We literally, less than a yearago, tried to do a kitchen.
(08:45):
So just because you fucked itup and used your money and
everything else for it, now youwant a new kitchen.
No, and I told her.
I said, if we get a new kitchen, I don't want to hear nothing
about no new anything.
No time soon.
Me Ignoring you.
Yes, yes, I am bitch.
(09:07):
Every other month I want tomove the living room around.
Why it looks man-cavish.
You moved it.
Wes (09:17):
You moved everything it sounds like Mrs Smith wants new
furniture.
She wants a different style,which ain't bad Women know how
to spend money.
Tell me about it.
DeLaw (09:36):
And then get mad at you when you ain't got money to help
fund it.
Wes (09:41):
They get mad at you when you tell them, no, I can have
the money.
The answer is still no, don'tmatter if I got the money.
DeLaw (09:48):
No, no, I want to do something with the kids.
I said, well, look, how aboutthis?
How about we find a quote forthe floor?
So we found a quote for a floor.
Wes (09:58):
I can do the floor yourself .
DeLaw (10:01):
Found a quote for the floor.
Okay, the quote for the floorcame out to.
I want to say 1400.
That's not bad and she's likeshe was always going.
It's going to cost at least six, seven thousand for somebody to
come do it.
I said no, it's what I said six, seven thousands to do what,
what type of floor?
Wes (10:21):
you trying good to get Heated floors.
That'd be nice In the kitchen.
You don't want heated floors inthe kitchen, you want that in
the bathroom.
DeLaw (10:29):
Yeah, but nonetheless I'm like.
First off, we don't have a bigfloor at my parents' house.
We got to do the whole house.
It's literally 2,400, I mean240 square feet.
That ain't big yeah At that.
If someone charges $6,000,nigga you tripping?
Yeah, you're going to have tobounce yeah For 240 square feet.
(10:51):
And you want how much?
Oh hell, no, nigga.
Wes (10:55):
Here's the thing In some cases, depending on what your
floor is made of, the materialthat you can use is so thin but
so stylish as far as likeinterlocking and stuff like that
.
You can do that over thefucking floor that's already
there and call it a day but thebigger issue is that our floor
has a a hill.
DeLaw (11:16):
Wow, from what I gather so you remember our old water
heater that went leaking.
I remember recording, yeah,yeah, yeah.
Apparently that wasn't thefirst time that that water
heater went leaking, like thatand it leaked in that spot.
And I think it leaked in thekitchen when they did all the
(11:36):
cleaning up.
Yeah, that's what I think.
So I'm worried about when theypull up this old flooring.
Wes (11:43):
How much more is going to?
DeLaw (11:44):
cost you Right, I got you At this point is either make do
and let it still have the hill,or fix the fucking hill and
let's keep it rolling All right,so put it this way the floor.
Wes (11:55):
Don't feel bouncy, do it?
DeLaw (11:59):
Between where the slope is, it feels bouncy because it
dips.
Wes (12:06):
So when you said hill, you mean I'm thinking up and down,
you mean Like a slope comingdown.
DeLaw (12:13):
Okay, that's not a hill.
Wes (12:15):
That's a slope, that's damage.
Yeah, it's going to be somemoney.
As a matter of fact, the thingis should we get a new floor,
should we repair this?
And, in the grand scheme ofthings, you're going to have to
get a new floor.
DeLaw (12:30):
So either they want, because they're going to have to
do something to even level it,I don't know, because it looks
like this.
So here's what it looks like.
Wes (12:37):
And y'all don't have a basement right, no so here's
what it looks like.
DeLaw (12:46):
I think the guy who did the work on it before the guy
who sold the house, he broughtsome of his guys and they fixed
it up enough and they kind ofcleared out the stuff that was
damaged and then put the flooron top of it and kept it raw
yeah, the problem has been crazy.
Wes (13:00):
It's been crazy crazy.
I was reading something and itwas saying, like the like it's
the worst.
It's been crazy crazy.
I was reading something and itwas saying like the like it's
the worst it's been in likeyears.
Well, at least in this country,shoot the fucking.
The cat was with his hero.
Yeah, he was selling.
Yeah, jeez louise.
DeLaw (13:22):
I said what?
So my wife's like he's a cat, Iain't worried about it.
I was like how are you?
I said what?
So my wife's like, oh, he's acat, I ain't worried about it.
I'm like he's pulling out hishair.
Wes (13:29):
You're not worried about it .
DeLaw (13:31):
You know, in my head I'm like eh, eh, eh, I would be
worried about that.
Wes (13:36):
That's not a Right.
DeLaw (13:39):
Well, my, my, my supervisor says her cat does the
same thing she need.
My supervisor says her cat doesthe same thing.
She didn't even worry about ittoo.
She didn't even worry about ittoo.
Fucking cat got an allergy.
So eventually they gave himwhatever medicine to get him to
stop itching.
And so he don't itch now, buthe was.
(13:59):
Every time we thought it wasgoing to heal it, the, the, the
scabs.
They wouldn't heal like theydid when they gave them the
medicine and stuff.
They would heal and puff up.
I was like what is that?
I said that ain't normal.
There's no way you could tellme this is normal.
Oh, yeah, no, it's normal.
(14:21):
No, that is not.
That is nowhere close to normal.
But hey, you know, my wife said, oh, I know Beth, and she's
like I didn't know that couldhappen.
Nigga, yeah, nigga, come on.
So cat guy allergies.
(14:42):
Right now I don't think he'stoo bad.
He finishes doses of medicinethat he's supposed to take.
But I think my wife scratchedhim in the head or something and
agitated it.
Yeah, and he's been a littlebit more aggressive than normal.
He normally isn't as aggressiveas he's been these past couple
days, but also when he gets niceoutside.
(15:05):
He do be wanting to go outside.
He do get a tad bit aggressive,like a tad Not like a whole lot
, but he do get a little Likehe'll get up on the bed and bite
you like, let me out, I'm readyto get out, and then once that
time goes that he don't want togo outside or nothing, then he
(15:25):
don't bother nobody.
But yeah, you know he's been alittle extra aggressive for a
long time, yeah, but hey, shithappens so remember, in the
(15:46):
beginning I said with strongminds discuss, and with weak
minds discuss.
Wes (15:53):
Yeah, we're going to be weak today probably going to be
weak yes, we're going to couldbe worse we're going to discuss
these two people.
They're in a relationship, openrelationship, or no?
No, no, they, you know theytogether, just them, as far as I
(16:13):
know.
And something happened and yeah.
So she states Alright, I'mgoing to say the title and then
I'm going to go write it myboyfriend ate me out.
(16:37):
And when he was done he had pooon his nose.
Never been more mortified.
My boyfriend, 22, wanted to eatme out, but his parents were
home.
I'm 24 and said we shouldn't.
But he was so turned on and Iwas turned on.
(17:00):
So I said, okay, we went intoone of the upstairs bathrooms,
went to one of the upstairsbathrooms and you went to town
on me if I didn't have it.
Um, if I, what?
If I didn't have a chance touse wow, I didn't have a chance
to use wet wipes to clean myselfup everything nicely before he,
(17:21):
before he does, I usuallyencourage him to eat me out from
the back.
No, eat me out while I'm on my.
Eat me out while I'm on my back.
She don't know how to spell eator write a sentence.
Eat me out with me on my back.
And that grammar.
And today he insisted on mebeing on my belly over the sink
(17:46):
because he's a butt guy.
DeLaw (17:47):
I don't even know how to sponsor him.
I was mortified I was mortified.
Wes (17:57):
I was mortified that afterwards, when he went back to
his room, he had a smear of pooon his nose.
I eat a very clean diet, excepttoday, god damn taco bell.
Even though I had to use a wetwipe earlier, things weren't,
weren't clean as a whistle inthe butt dimension.
He didn't address it and keptit cool, said it was so hot.
(18:21):
I gave him a bj and swallow, soyou don't normally swallow.
DeLaw (18:25):
Yo yo.
Yo Said it was so hot.
I gave him a BJ and swallowed.
Wes (18:26):
So you don't normally swallow Yo yo, yo yo.
He said after we should do itearlier.
We should do it earlier in theday, and I felt so embarrassed
by that.
I don't know why, but I thinkit's because I'm not normally
that gross in the butt.
Six years of dating and thisnever, ever happened.
(18:50):
He didn't even clean his smearpool off his nose.
DeLaw (18:53):
You crazy.
Wes (18:53):
I lit my finger I lit my finger to run it off and then I
realized it wasn't coming offand it was brown.
I went and got a tissue no wetwipes and licked the paper to
then apply it to his skin toclean it off his nose.
I'm back at my apartment.
(19:15):
I'm too stressed to go to thebathroom and see what he had to
deal with and, by the way, myundies are spotless.
I don't believe you.
I texted him so I could betransparent about it and prevent
it from happening again, and heonly said he needed to buy wet
wipes.
I'm not allergic to it'sprobably fine, but I want to die
(19:38):
inside.
I hope he gets more chattyagain.
He seemed very deadpan and sweetafter the whole situation that
bitch got a dirty butt yo when Iwhen I read that I'm just like
(20:00):
dog for him to do that he ain'tsmell none especially that, not,
it is on his nose no, not eventhat.
like yo, you eating that jointfrom the back, you gotta spread
her cheeks a little bit.
Or you know what I mean, likemaybe, no, not even that, like
yo, you eating that joint fromthe back, you got to spread her
cheeks a little bit.
Or you know what I mean, likemaybe you ain't smell nothing.
(20:20):
You ain't smell, like yo, it'skind of shitty in here, nothing.
DeLaw (20:29):
You ain't look.
That's the part that gets me.
Wes (20:32):
Did he not look when I read that I'm like me?
Did he not look when I readthat?
I'm like yo, I always look.
It's been times I've seenpieces of tissue in that
motherfucker before hitting himfrom the back like he's just
like yo.
Go take a shower.
Like come on now, how the fuckyou don't look and as a woman I
(20:53):
would think you would fighttooth and nail to be like, nah,
it's not happening.
And you ain't got to tell themwhy it's not happening, because
you got to know if you, you knowso fresh and so clean and if
you got a feeling that you'renot, that's just like yo.
Like my wife offered me a bj, ifI know I've been hooping or
doing whatever, or I got a quoteunquote walk, but like I've
(21:15):
been walking all day, so stuffstill might be a little bit.
I'm like, let me have a shower.
I'm going to be, I'm just goingto be a quick shower and then
I'm I'm, I'm, I'm yours, let mego do that, cause I don't never
want to up Like I want my dicksup.
(21:37):
So as a woman I would think shewant her pussy ate constantly,
consistently.
You'll never want to fuck thatup.
DeLaw (21:44):
Yeah, that's definition for it.
You don't fuck this up shall we.
Yeah, I'm like yo, yo I couldnever, I ain't looking at that
shit, no more.
The fact that he I guessliterally he eats I mean I don't
know he got beans like like toeat it from the back.
I ain't never ate no shit fromthe back.
I'm afraid I'm gonna get shiton my nose.
Wes (22:05):
Nah, I've done that.
It ain't something I do often,but I've done it.
It's just one of those thingswhere it's just like I'm scoping
shit out too, and there's a waythat you do it when you ain't
really you know what I mean.
You might want to go like this,spread the cheeks a little bit,
slap it she, thinking you, youknow being, you know sexual and
some foreplay shit or whateverhave you.
But I'm checking.
(22:26):
I'm like what the fuck mightput my thumb in that
motherfucker for a little bit.
You know bowling ball or thumbin the bowl, two fingers in the.
You know what I mean.
Like yo, you do that shit, whynot?
It ain't something I do all thetime, but you know I have
partake.
There's no way I'm not checkingit out.
(22:48):
I don't care if it's been sixyears of dating.
Why the six years of dating?
That's crazy.
But I don't care if it's beensix years of dating.
Why is it six years of dating?
DeLaw (22:53):
That's crazy.
But I don't care if it's.
You know me, that's where I wasgoing, Like that's the problem.
Wes (22:59):
You got to be together six years.
There's no way.
There's no way.
And if that would have happenedI ain't going to lie, I don't
know if my shorty up to my mom's, my parents' I shouldn't have
did that at my parents' house.
DeLaw (23:17):
Well, not just that, why are you still dating after six
years?
Six years?
You should know.
You gotta keep that ass clean.
Wes (23:23):
Here's the thing.
Yeah, you should.
Here's the fact that she saidmy diet isn't as messy it was
messy today.
I'm like what the fuck was thatthen?
And if you know that, why areyou going to let him eat this
shit?
Why, why, why?
You know how mad I would be.
DeLaw (23:45):
So you're just going to have me go down there.
You know I'm about to eat itfrom the back and then you're
just going to act like you ain'twipe your ass.
You know I'm about to hit itfrom the back and then you're
just going to act like you ain'twipe your ass.
You said you knew your butt wasshitty when you wiped with the
first little drink that's whatI'm saying.
Wes (24:00):
You wiped till.
There's nothing left.
DeLaw (24:03):
That's what I was always taught even if you gotta say,
hey, I need some more toiletpaper wiped till you ain't got
nothing left.
It's been times I just don'tnothing left.
Wes (24:12):
No, it's been times I just don't understand that like it's
been times with women like thatwas the one in general.
Like you know, you're hittingthat shit from the back or
whatever.
You just hitting that shit,motherfuckers start farting and
shit like that.
Or you know, arrogantmotherfuckers too juicy or some
shit like that.
I had a girl hop, literallylike I didn't fart, and I'm like
I ain't think, or some shitlike that, you'd be a shit.
I had a girl hop, literallylike that I didn't fart, and I'm
(24:33):
like I ain't think you didrelax, like more like
embarrassed, and I'm like yo, Iget it, I get it.
DeLaw (24:40):
I don't hit James from the back and like, right when
I'm getting into it I can smellthe ass.
I ain't like yo, like thereain't no way your ass went like
this, never been in thatsituation.
Wes (24:51):
Fuck that on the whim shit.
Nigga never been in thatsituation.
DeLaw (24:56):
I be like yo man, if I had a drink?
I ain't never been in that andI look down at my shirt, I'm
like yeah, I remember you, youtelling me the story and I saw.
You know, like you know, peopleget the little marks on.
I'm like yo.
I got this bitches fuckingasterisks on my shirt and I was
(25:19):
like this shit smell like ass.
I'm like yo, I gotta go home.
I'm gonna smell ass all the wayhome nah, nah, nah, nah, I am.
Wes (25:30):
I'm very fortunate and blessed to say that each and
every time I ain't never hadnothing like that and they knew
I was coming over or they knewwhat time it was, like they
prepared for it.
Even if we was going to dosomething in the car, shit after
the movie, or whatever have you, she, prepared for it?
So it was just like yo.
I ain't never had no weirdsmells.
(25:50):
Only thing I've gotten was likeyo, it's a piece of tissue
right there, not a big piece oftissue, there's a little piece
of tissue.
I'm like um, man, it don'tstink.
So I'm back here.
It is what it is, lucky you.
It is what it is my.
But yeah, I, um, I mean, butyeah, I, I mean.
(26:12):
Shout out to her for sharingher story wipe your ass.
DeLaw (26:18):
Nigga wipe your ass.
So how you?
401k doing man my 401k doingman.
Wes (26:35):
My 401k or your 457 or your 25070 or some shit.
DeLaw (26:41):
Well, you know, with my first two years in the state, I
didn't do it, so I just startedmy you started at the worst time
.
Wes (26:51):
Yeah, I just started my, you started yours at the worst
time.
DeLaw (26:53):
Yeah, I just started mine , so we'll see how it goes.
I ain't putting a lot, I don'tgot a lot of money to put into
it, but I'm just putting what Ican.
I'm pretty sure all I got ismaybe about 60 bucks in there
(27:14):
right now.
60 bucks, I mean I alreadystarted in January, like January
, september, so and then I'mabout to stop one of them
because it's not a Roth, it's a,it's a pre-tax.
So I'm about to stop that.
I'm going to just take thesplit, the money I was putting
into that one, and throw it intothe other two.
I mean, what am I going to dowith this $30 that's in that one
(27:39):
?
I really wanted to be like canI pull this out, take the
penalty and put it?
Wes (27:43):
somewhere else.
Yeah, you can roll it over.
You ain't got to do that.
You can just ask them if you'regoing to roll it over to
someone else.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, justtalk to your.
DeLaw (27:52):
Uh, whoever you would, we do that well, the state of
maryland got their own.
Wes (27:56):
That they do oh yeah, this terror, shit ain't uh scaring
you no why not?
DeLaw (28:10):
um, because I grew up in the late 80s and early 90s, when
shit was bad anyway, youweren't an adult back then.
Wes (28:19):
Nah, I was a kid.
That don't apply it applies.
Alright, if I can make itthrough that wait till you find
out your white claws ain't fromthe United States and they from
some key ingredients from Indiaor some shit like that.
Or the aluminum is coming fromChina for the cans.
DeLaw (28:39):
You think they're lacing them with fentanyl?
Wes (28:41):
No, I'm saying they might cost a little bit more.
DeLaw (28:45):
Look, they start costing too much.
I already pre-stockpiled.
You can see that right there inthe picture.
That's true.
There ain't no price on thisover here.
It's already paid for.
So if anything, if I restockthose last two bottles, I can
(29:07):
start from this end over here,which is tequila, or I can start
at the other end, which is rum,and work my way to tequila, or
start with tequila and work myway over to rum.
Wes (29:19):
Yeah.
DeLaw (29:20):
I literally have.
I got about 30 bottles overthere, 18 shots in a bottle.
Multiply that together Iprobably got two years of taking
one shot a day.
Wes (29:35):
We know you're not taking one shot a day.
DeLaw (29:39):
If I open certain bottles , the wife might be like, let me
get one too, Let me get one IfI open the right bottle.
I got to keep opening the wrongbottle, so I'll have enough
alcohol for a year and a halfuntil prices go down.
I had to strategically do that,so I got to wait until Trump's
(29:59):
second to the second half of hisand then start that.
One shot boom.
Wes (30:09):
Yo, I ain't gonna lie, I'm not scared, I am.
Yo, I ain't gonna lie, I'm notscared, I am.
I guess I'm just worried aboutother people, if that makes any
sense, like their dispositionand shit.
People tend to be a little like.
Remember after COVID andeverybody was starting to be let
outside and everybody was justa little bit more aggressive
because they had to sit insidewhere they love ones, and they
(30:33):
couldn't take their asses.
I will never remember, I willnever forget the like when
Russell Westbrook was playingfor the Wizards.
You know he was in a fight withthe dude on the in the well,
not almost, but in the standsand shit, because I think he
threw a bunch of shit on him.
I'm for no reason, I was likeyo, so um, no, he threw
(30:58):
something.
DeLaw (30:58):
After he said something, westbrook said something to him.
Uh, he says he, he said hecalled westbrook something and
westbrook went over.
So I was like who the fuck areyou talking to?
I'll beat your ass.
And then he threw something.
Man, that's what.
That's that whole thing.
Because he got one thing.
He's like yeah, we get a lot ofverbal abuse, but you don't
(31:20):
call me no bitch or some shitlike that.
And it was a white dude too,yeah, you know what kills me?
The white dudes that got blackcharacters on 2k.
They say nigga, like we don'tknow the cadence of their voice.
Wes (31:35):
I ain't never had that.
I ain't never had that happen.
I didn't even know that was athing.
So they be caught.
They main character is a blackperson and they white.
You don't think they justtrolling just a little bit?
DeLaw (31:56):
Put it this way they're out of the mind frame that
there's people in the world thatdon't know that if you make a
black character, it doesn't meanyou're black.
They assume that I'm a blackcharacter.
They can't tell the differenceif I'm white or not.
Wes (32:07):
No, we can tell.
DeLaw (32:08):
We can tell there was a dude.
I remember it was 2K18.
No, we can tell.
We can tell there was a dude.
I remember it was 2K18.
I was on with my boy, rk, andJizzle from the Pittsburgh guys
that rap and RK was like yo.
He's like nigga, you white.
He's like yeah, yeah, I'm white.
And why you got a blackcharacter?
(32:29):
Oh, that was just a defaultcharacter.
Wes (32:37):
No, it ain't.
Everyone knows it was.
That was just a defaultcharacter.
No, it ain't we all.
Everyone knows, and anything,the default character is always
white.
Any video game character always.
DeLaw (32:43):
I don't know if 2k saves what my last character did, but
my 2k character always looks thesame every time I go into the
default setting, really, yeah,so mine always comes out black.
That's why my character alwayslooks the same because it pops
up as the same every time I gointo the default setting.
Really, yeah, so mine alwayscomes out black.
That's why my character alwayslooks the same.
It pops up as the same personagain.
I'm like, oh, okay, cool.
Wes (32:59):
I'll be creating my face, restructuring and all that
bullshit RK started trolling.
DeLaw (33:06):
He's like so, do you wish you were a black person?
He's like oh, no, no, no, it'sjust the default care.
Are you sure you know?
Do you say nigga or nigger?
Valid, valid questions, validquestions, valid questions.
I can only imagine the dude waslike the right answer.
Wes (33:25):
The right answer is what?
Neither and I feel disrespectedthat you think I'm that type of
white motherfucker.
That is how you respond to that.
Speaking of brown, because wejust talked about a dude with
shit on his nose and shit likethat.
(33:45):
Yo can you believe.
What are some household itemsyou think people are using as a
lube nowadays?
What are some household itemsyou think people are using as a
lube nowadays besides Vaseline?
Besides Vaseline and baby oiland KY probably some shea butter
(34:09):
that is on the list.
That is on the list.
That is on the list some sheabutter, maybe some.
DeLaw (34:19):
Maybe they come down here get some vegetable oil olive
oil.
Wes (34:25):
Olive oil and coconut oil is on the list oh man, what
about black seed oil?
Nah, casserole Nope, that's thethickest shit, but somebody's
using honey.
DeLaw (34:37):
They won't be stuck in that thing forever.
Wes (34:40):
Once you get it warm.
DeLaw (34:41):
It does kind of lube it up.
Or maybe they're using it sothat when it comes out that they
don't got to taste the dino andthe penis and they just lick
the honey off.
I don't know Butter, butter.
Wes (34:51):
Aloe vera Dino on the penis and they just lick the honey
off, I don't know Butter.
Butter Aloe vera.
DeLaw (34:57):
We need a disclaimer on this one that this segment right
here is not recommended foranyone and is not condoned.
Wes (35:06):
CBD oil.
That's the part I'm like yo.
What are you doing?
What are?
DeLaw (35:11):
you doing?
They're trying to relax themuscles in the penis.
Wes (35:14):
No, I don't need that.
Need no motherfucking tents.
And ready to fight, ready tofight the good night.
Here's the crazy thing that Idon't understand Soaps and
shampoo.
I know you've been young whenyou was in the shower and you
you washing up and shit likethat and you accidentally get
soap in your pee hole.
That shit burn yeah.
(35:36):
So I was just like yo.
Why am I stroking to that?
DeLaw (35:41):
Well, someone beating off with this.
Wes (35:42):
No, they are, they were using.
Yeah, they either be novelinserting that.
DeLaw (35:50):
Now have I been showering and I got soap on me.
She's like just put it in me.
I'm like you sure that mightburn.
Wes (35:57):
Just do it all right, but I ain't never been in no
situation like that.
I don't care to be in asituation like that.
DeLaw (36:02):
Soap and shampoo like come on now me and my wife was
when we was at the hotel yo yoyo don't share.
Wes (36:08):
Do not share that.
Don't share that.
She Do not share that.
Don't share that.
She's going to beat your ass.
Do not share that.
DeLaw (36:15):
I wouldn't give full details.
It's one of the few times thatwe ever were in the shower
together.
We were young and dumb.
I mean, mind you, we were inour mid to late 30s, but we were
young and dumb, you know.
You know, like we were youngand dumb, she liked me, I liked
(36:41):
her.
We were in a hotel when we saidwell, shit, we might as well.
Wes (36:45):
Yeah, I was going together.
DeLaw (36:47):
Yeah, we were going together Exactly.
You know how it is when you getto a certain age bracket.
We all are adults and if thatmeans that we have sex all over
the place and never get marriedand we break up and move with
somebody else, it is what it is.
You're going to enjoy yourselfeach person you get, and that's
(37:08):
where we were.
He's like I don't know if we'regoing to be together, so I'm
going to fuck your brains outand then just kind of wean
myself off of it.
I'm like alright, she didn'tsay that to you, that was
verbatim you're lying verbatim.
Wes (37:22):
I don't know if we gonna be together.
She played you.
She knew once she did that shitto you you wasn't leaving.
She played you, you got played.
DeLaw (37:33):
I got played.
I was married.
Wes (37:40):
She played you.
I have never heard a woman saythat I don't know if we're going
.
That's some toxic ex-boyfriendshit.
I don't know if we're going tobe together, but you know what?
I'm going to give you this gooddick and you know.
If you feel like you want tostay, you can stay, but you know
, I don't know what this isgoing to lead us.
(38:01):
All the while he knew he wasgoing to fuck her crazy and she
was yeah.
DeLaw (38:07):
I understand her motive behind that.
I think it turned into when Iasked her.
I said why would you say that?
Mind you, this is after we leftthe hotel and that whole
weekend was over.
Wes (38:16):
I ain't gonna do that while you're gone.
What did she want you to do?
To bring your A-game.
She was like I ain't got timefor this bullshit, Bring your
A-game.
DeLaw (38:22):
Well, what she told me was you don't want to make me
your girlfriend.
If we're not doing all we'redoing is fucking, then I'm gonna
do that until I'm tired offucking you and then I'm gonna
move on.
You didn't hold on, you didn'twant to make her your girl first
(38:43):
off.
When we in our 30s, do you makeany?
Do you officially say, hey,you're my girlfriend, or do?
Wes (38:48):
is this a general understanding that I wasn't
dating in my 30s, so I can'treally say.
DeLaw (38:54):
When you were in your upper 20s.
You've been married eight years, right I don't know, maybe who
believes that.
Wes (39:06):
I know the day.
I never know the years.
DeLaw (39:09):
What year?
Wes (39:09):
did y'all get married?
I said I don't know the.
I know the day.
I don't know.
DeLaw (39:14):
If I knew the year I'd be able to calculate that lord
lord maybe 2018, I think, Idon't know but I put this way I
know for sure you weren'tmarried in 2000, I want to say
2016.
I know for sure you weren'tmarried Because wasn't that the
(39:36):
party?
That was the party where I madethe fried chicken for B's
birthday, right?
Was it 2016?
Wes (39:44):
I'm not good.
2016, I definitely wasn'tmarried because all in that year
I graduated from college, Ibought the house, still living
with my mom.
We already went through this,bought the house and was paying
two, not paying two mortgages,paying the mortgage here and
help pay a mortgage at my mom'shouse because she had lost her
job.
So I was like, well, shit, I'mout to stay here At my mom's
(40:08):
house and I fixed up the joint.
So that's 2016.
I know, so that's 2016, 2017.
So, yeah, I might've married mywife, 2018.
DeLaw (40:16):
I think I don't know, I knew you weren't married then
because when we came to thatparty that day, I think we were
at their house, like that Sunday, and she was like, yeah, I
can't.
They were like for this party,I think it was a D's birthday
party, and it was D's birthdayparty or B's birthday party.
Well, nonetheless it was one oftheir birthdays.
I don't remember this.
(40:36):
I think it was D's birthdayparty.
We were at the house, we didkaraoke.
Wes (40:42):
I was not there.
I don't remember karaoke.
DeLaw (40:45):
We did karaoke and D and them.
They did their first dance.
I don't remember they were outemceeding.
I was like this, this the songfor their first dance.
Wes (40:55):
And and him, her, and there's some I must've been
fucked up or drunk Like I do not, I don't remember.
DeLaw (41:04):
We got there late.
Where were they living at?
They were living in um.
They were living in C Pleasant,close to C Pleasant.
Close to C Pleasant, not in CPleasant, if I'm not mistaken.
(41:29):
What was it?
Glendale?
Wes (41:32):
what was it?
DeLaw (41:33):
Glendale no, it was close to C Pleale.
No, it was close to C Pleasant.
I remember that it was close toC Pleasant.
Wes (41:38):
What is close to C?
Pleasant to you.
DeLaw (41:40):
It wasn't in C Pleasant, but it was in the surrounding
area of C Pleasant.
Wes (41:46):
When I think C Pleasant, I think MLK, c Pleasant Road, yeah
, I don't even think C PleasantRoad, yeah, I don't even think
uh, c Pleasant Road, I think Ithink C Pleasant Community
Center, I think MLK, I thinkArwick Armore, I think Glen
(42:06):
Arden.
DeLaw (42:06):
That's Glen Arden, yeah.
Wes (42:08):
Further down.
Where did they not live?
They lived, though, by thestadium.
Is that what you're talkingabout?
Yeah, oh no, no, no, no.
The backside the house, yes,the house.
Don't remember this party.
DeLaw (42:23):
Damn.
Wes (42:23):
Really, I don't remember this party.
They had their seven-day.
DeLaw (42:28):
Adventist friends over there and everything else and
they were doing karaoke Remember.
Wes (42:34):
Yeah, goddamn man.
DeLaw (42:36):
yeah, remember what she do like maybe she sung a song
and her boyfriend got up thereand sung too and and rapped
jay-z parts of what they did,drunk that was what that was.
Wes (42:46):
I remember that, yeah, because b made him do that like
do a dude, I was just like, ohmy gosh, right I.
I remember that I was drunk.
I was drunk as a motherfucker.
DeLaw (42:59):
So you weren't, I was there.
Wes (43:03):
You were there.
DeLaw (43:04):
But what I'm saying is you weren't married then.
Because the whole conversationthat came up was they told so my
girl at the time.
I said, yeah, they said youcan't come.
She said, the fuck.
You mean I'm making jello shotsand I'm coming.
Your girl said that, yeah,that's what she said.
I was like, oh, why'd they sayshe couldn't go?
I don't know it was, it was,that was a question.
(43:24):
We both asked a question, likeyou, because she told you you
couldn't bring yours, I couldn'tbring mine, told dad, and we
both said she said, but withNicole, whose husband died, she
could bring her and her, her andher boyfriend can come, because
he was trying to get him, get D, into the Secret Service so he
(43:47):
could come, so they both couldcome, but we couldn't bring.
I was like, well then, I ain'tcoming, well, he don't want you
there, I don't remember any ofthis shit.
Come on, you got to rememberthat conversation.
We weren't that drunk becausethat was the same night where.
Here's the thing.
Wes (44:02):
That was like what eight years down there, like what six
years ago, seven years ago.
So it was like no, I'm sorry,not seven, like nine years ago,
it was like nine years ago.
I'm not going to remember aparticular, I barely remember
being there, but I do rememberthat.
DeLaw (44:17):
I'm trying to think because me and my girlfriend at
the time, we broke up in 2018,right after my birthday, and so
this part, this party, had to be2017.
Excuse me, how many are to be?
Wes (44:34):
2017.
Excuse me, how?
DeLaw (44:36):
many are there.
It had to be 2017.
So, yeah, 2017, that's what itwas.
And you weren't married thenBecause you were like I got to
mind fuck my girlfriend and saidwhy now she can come?
(44:57):
At that, I already told her shecouldn't come.
It's this, this and this.
And then she was there.
I don't know if it was yourcurrent wife.
We were all there.
Wes (45:05):
I was with my girl.
DeLaw (45:07):
We were there with your girl, but when we all had the
conversation, I remember becauseB fucking sung.
Wes (45:14):
I remember now B sung her song and she jumped on my wife's
lap and started singing herperformance and shit like that.
I remember this shit.
DeLaw (45:24):
So that was who you're married to.
Now.
That was there.
Wes (45:27):
That had to have been the only one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
DeLaw (45:32):
So I'm the only one who.
Wes (45:35):
I'm thinking that was it, because I'm like I had to try to
remember that because they wereat the house.
DeLaw (45:41):
Yeah, I remember, yeah and um, yeah, I was like, so I
can't bring her.
Look, my girl was like, waslike, she's like, oh really,
it's her birthday.
Okay, cool, I'm going to makejello shots and I got over there
early.
Wes (46:01):
I don't remember any of this.
Like I was told, I don't knowman.
DeLaw (46:05):
When I told my girl about it, she pretty much said I'm
making jello shots.
And then she said she wascoming.
She didn't give a shit what Bsaid with.
B said she ain't giving a shit.
She said I'm coming, you ain'tgoing there without me, I'm
making jello shots.
So she brought the jello shots.
I went over there early thatmorning and fried the chicken
the chicken I ate.
I fried the chicken.
I came over there early in theday and I left.
(46:27):
I came back and I was doingsomething in my room and I was
running late and my girl calledme like where the fuck are you
at?
I was like, oh shit, I didn'trealize what time it was.
So then she was like if we getover there there's no chicken,
nigga, I'm gonna beat your ass.
And we got over there.
There was still a little bit ofchicken left.
I'm like thank God.
And she did the Beyonce joint.
If you like it, then you shouldhave put a ring on it.
(46:48):
Yeah, I remember that night.
Wes (46:52):
Yeah, man, of course you can remember that night.
DeLaw (46:55):
You know how drunk I was that night.
Wes (46:57):
I mean you remembered her performing for the ring, wasn't?
DeLaw (46:59):
you, I remember that.
I remember other stuff thathappened that day.
I almost got myself in trouble,did you?
Yeah, you remember her littleskinny friend.
Me and her used to mess arounda little bit, but we weren't
messing around.
I took pictures with her.
I think I texted her when Ileft.
My girl seen the drink becausewe got a hotel room because I
(47:23):
was so drunk.
Yeah, it was a lot that went on.
Man, lord, lord, lord.
Wes (47:32):
I must have just went home, fucked and went to sleep.
DeLaw (47:35):
That's what it sounds like, yeah.
Wes (47:39):
Cause I don't remember.
I remember bits and pieces ofthat night, damn.
You know.
I was just thinking about likethe other night, friday night, I
was sitting on the sofa andshit With my wife and I was just
Listening to all the fuckingsongs from like 2012 and going
up like all the 2009 10 maybegoing up, that we was in the
(48:03):
club to a lot of future, a lotof you know the old Drake and
shit like that.
DeLaw (48:11):
I forgot.
You got, a couple years late,the only songs that were going
on in the club at that time.
Back that Ass Up and the BlackNational Anthem Knuck If you
Buck.
No, it wasn't.
Wes (48:23):
Not 2012.
Knuck, if you, buck, wasn'tgoing on, I was in the club 2012
.
DeLaw (48:28):
I was in the club 2007 to 2000.
Wes (48:33):
Those were not the songs.
Those were not the songs.
Those were not the songs.
DeLaw (48:39):
Look, I'm a gat toward Higgins on your dance street.
Nah, it was a lot.
Wes (48:50):
It was a lot of Gucci, it was some future.
DeLaw (48:54):
How close were you going to?
You were supposed to go to thehood clubs.
Wes (48:59):
Not really.
Maybe.
I mean that's when Right Outthe Dream became Love and Ibiza
was still in full effect.
That whole strip now by FloridaAve.
None of them clubs are thereanymore.
K Street Lounge K Street Loungeis not there, no more.
I don't think.
DeLaw (49:19):
Parks are there.
Wes (49:20):
Yeah.
DeLaw (49:22):
But they were playing.
I guess when me and Hawaii wentto the club a couple times,
they were playing swag surf.
You know what it was.
I said 2012, so damn heavy.
I couldn't tell what the hellwas going on, I just knew this
(49:42):
shit sounded good like.
When I went to Miami with my ex, we uh, they played this song.
They played soft by G Wells,rick Ross, meek Mill and Fab
right, and I had no clue whatthis song was.
You never, never, heard of Soft.
Maybe, Get some heavy bait.
Have a couple drinks.
Alright, have a couple drinks.
(50:03):
I'm trying to tell you how Iheard this song the first time.
I want you to have that sameexperience.
Have a couple drinks, get alittle tipsy.
Look up Soft by Joel Santana.
It's off of God Willing.
It's off of God Willing, hisGod Willing mixtape.
So I'm calling it soft.
Rick Ross does the hook.
Meek Mill has a second verse,closes it out.
(50:25):
Don't listen to Meek Mill'sverse.
It ain't as good as Fab orJewel's, alright.
But when you hear it and thatbass in you Y'all whole niggas
so soft and that shit hit you belike, oh shit, when I hear this
song I'm in Miami, so I'm downthere in Rick Ross' territory.
(50:46):
That shit, I'm like yo, thisshit cold.
Wes (50:50):
Okay, you also was probably at a premium club and not like
the shit.
DeLaw (50:55):
We was at Cameo in Miami.
At Cameo, us being fromMaryland out here DC Maryland we
get down there.
It's about 10 o'clock, 11o'clock.
It's like why are you out hereso early?
We didn't know when the?
Oh yeah, I think we got therelike at 9 or 10.
Yeah, we don't open till 12.
No, oh yeah, I think we gotthere like at 9 or 10.
(51:16):
Yeah, we don't open till 12.
No, listen, we don't open tilllike 11, 12 oh, close up, here
was closing like 1 1 right, sowhen we get back, we get back
number 1.
My girl was like oh, this guysaid that.
No, the person said they'rebringing a limousine from this
(51:38):
hotel to here.
I said, well, that's our hotel,I will find such and such and
they will get you set up.
So we paid him.
I think I paid him like $100,maybe $102, $100, $106.
We got all our drinks for freeat the bar, at the hotel bar
first off.
Then it was a limousine ridethere and then we got a
(52:01):
limousine ride back.
When the club was over I wasalready so fucked up I told her.
I said let's roll the fuck out,yeah, and we left, got a taxi
back.
This is before Uber.
We just said taxi.
I let her do it because at thatpoint she's sexy, so they're
going to stop for her.
I just didn't stand too closeand then I hopped in the window.
(52:25):
That's not God.
You bring down old memories.
Wes (52:33):
The good old days before I started eating pussy from the
back.
I can't even say the good olddays, because I started eating
pussy from the back.
DeLaw (52:37):
I can't even say the good old days because I never ate no
pussy from the back.
We'll just say the days beforemy good days.
Let me see, this is us at Cameo.
You know what I'm saying?
That's why I let her get thecat.
(52:57):
The taxi, yeah.
But yeah, that's, that's 2013.
Damn, that's a.
That's a.
That's a young d law.
That's uh, 12 years ago.
What am I?
I'm 39 now.
That means I was 27 with thislittle 24-year-old.
Yeah, she was younger than you.
(53:19):
Yeah, she was considerably.
She was the longestrelationship I had with someone
who was not old, who wasn't inmy same age range or older.
Wes (53:32):
Yeah, sure.
DeLaw (53:34):
Because Hawaii was younger than me and me and
Hawaii lasted like eight months.
Hawaii was younger than me, meand Hawaii lasted like eight
months.
She was out of Hawaii.
Yeah, she was out of Hawaii.
It was funny how me and her gottogether.
Me and Hawaii broke up.
Me and her were always chilling.
Eventually she broke up withher boyfriend.
(53:55):
I was like well, I mean, youget to an age now where you're
kind of knowing that you're sexy, you know, hey, look, oh my God
, oh no, these women out here,they lucky.
I'm married because Yo did.
(54:16):
You just get in trouble lastweek yeah, I did, but still, oh
no, these women, they're luckythat I'm married, because these
younger chicks, even though Imight only fuck them one or two
times before they realize like,alright, this ain, this ain't my
, this ain't the type of niggaI'm trying to get at, but I can
(54:39):
talk their panties off, you know, talk them panties, look.
It ain't about whether or notwe together or not At this day
and age, from what I'm seeingfrom everybody that's single out
here.
This shit ain't about beingtogether or building something
or getting married, whatever.
This whole shit is about whatyou can get from somebody and
what you're not going to givethem.
And in my heyday I'd have beenbetter than Pepe King.
Wes (55:09):
On that note.
On that note, young fellas outhere continue to talk their
panties off, but if they gotshit slings in them, don't
proceed.
DeLaw (55:21):
And if you need a class on it, I'm charging $50 per
class.
Wes (55:28):
Thank everybody for tuning in.
He gonna get himself in trouble.
See you next time.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.