Beyond People Pleasing: Unlearning the Default Yes

How often do you find yourself agreeing to something and later regretting it? Yeah, me too.  In fact, the majority of adults with ADHD identify as people pleasers, but there’s more to this knee-jerk reflex than meets the eye. 

This solo episode is packed with actionable tips for unlearning the Default Yes, starting with identifying the role of our unique neurological wiring in this dynamic. 

With insights into the "reciprocity myth" and the emotional aftermath of asserting oneself, this episode is packed with valuable tools for anyone seeking to say a purposeful yes to the things that truly matter. Let’s get started!

🔑 Key Takeaways:

• The Default Yes: Why impulsively saying yes is more than just people pleasing and how it ties to ADHD brain wiring.
• Deer in the Headlights Effect: Unexpected requests often leave individuals with ADHD feeling frozen and overwhelmed.
• The Reciprocity Myth: The misconception that saying yes will always lead to reciprocal benefits in a professional setting.
• Setting Boundaries as a Muscle: Strengthen your ability to say no with practice, patience, and a bit of training.
• Practical Techniques: The buffer phrase technique, physical resets, and guilt-free language patterns to help you say no and not feel bad about it.
• Handling Emotional Aftermath: Insight into managing the guilt and anxiety that can follow after setting boundaries.
• Forgiveness and Progress: Shifting away from the default yes with self-compassion and patience.

Mic drop moment: 

 "People who consistently get what they want are often those who clearly communicate boundaries, not those who say yes to everything."

Start here:

Physical Reset Technique: Practice taking a deep breath, pressing your feet into the ground, and rolling your shoulders back when under social pressure to help redirect your focus (and buy a little time before answering.) 

Climb the No Ladder: Start by saying no to small, low-stakes requests, gradually moving to more significant ones as you gain confidence.

What’s next?  

In order to rewire your brain from the default yes to more intentional answers takes practice, so be sure to grab my free worksheet that combines all the strategies shared in this episode, including practice scripts with guilt-free responses. 

Good intentions will not change the situation, but a handy guide that reminds you exactly what to do will. Click here to get your copy. 

© 2024 ADHD-ish Podcast. Intro music by Ishan Dincer / Melody Loops  / Outro music by Vladimir /  Bobi Music / All rights reserved.