Adoptees Crossing Lines

Adoptees Crossing Lines

We are 2 people with 2 very different experiences of being adopted. In this podcast we deconstruct the romanticism holding up the adoption industry and expose the lies, abuse, and pain that gets silenced. We’re here to unwrap the shiny bow around adoption and speak our truths as adoptees. In doing so, we explain what it means and what it feels like to “come out of the fog”. This isn't your feel good podcast, we are angry, healing and honest adoptees.

Episodes

May 30, 2023 5 mins
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Adoptee Origin Story: Dr. Noelle


Two white people raised me, an African American child. I’m Dr. Noelle and this is the secret-filled story of my adoption after being an orphan in Texas.


What we discussed 


(00:00) Cosplaying as adoptees?

(01:35) The stories I was told

(05:30) My abusive adoptive mother 

(06:15) Taking a DNA test to find my family

(09:42) They didn’t know I existed 

(15:39) Whole for the first time in my life

(...

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April 14, 2023 30 mins

Adoptee Origin Story: Lia


I’m Lia and this is my adoptee origin story from foster care to reuniting with my siblings. 


What I shared


(01:02) What I was told about my bio parents

(02:18) What actually happened 

(04:59) My adoptive parents 

(05:34) My birth father’s side of the story

(06:36) My access to adoption information

(10:04) Accessing my biological family name

(12:33) Meeting my siblings 

(19:49) Aspirations for biologic...

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March 24, 2023 39 mins
Adoptees & Mental health


Why adoptees are more likely to commit suicide  


Trigger Warning: Suicide, Suicidal ideation, Involuntary hospitalization


Adoptees are 4x more likely to commit suicide, in this episode we unpack why that is. Being an adoptee is a lifelong sentence, we have to cosplay as someone else’s child, ...
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March 10, 2023 31 mins
Adoptees as parents


Parenting as an adoptee 



What’s it like when you’re adopted and then become a parent? We discuss the unexpected joys and reliefs of parenting, the mistakes we were almost programmed to make, how parenting can heal us, how to tell your children you’re adopted, and being careful about not placing a burden on our children that they ar...
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February 24, 2023 44 mins
Adoptees & Identity 


For all our lives, our identities as adoptees have been stripped away from us. Our names changed, our blackness erased, and our birth certificates stolen. This episode we break down the ugly reality of having a fluid identity. 


Adoption is about stripping us of our decision-making autonomy, so this episode is a call for us to recla...
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February 10, 2023 35 mins
Blackness and adoption


Adoption taught us anti-blackness


Being adopted makes us an “other” whether we were raised by white, black, or brown families. In this episode we talk about unlearning the anti-blackness we internalized as children, why black adoptees cost less than white adoptees, the parallels between adoption and slavery, and our experiences growi...
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February 9, 2023 33 mins
An open letter to the people who bought me


Yesterday I decided to text my adoptive parents that they failed me as parents, it was the first time I ever confronted them. I talk about how they responded in this episode and open up about being sexually assaulted as a child…then gaslighted. This was never my burden to carry, but they always blamed me. They used religion as a guise to avoid respo...
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January 27, 2023 32 mins
Most challenging parts of friendship and dating for adoptees 


Why friendship and dating are so hard for adoptees  


What friends and partners don’t understand about adoptees 



As adoptees, we never want to rock the boat in any relationship we’re in be it with friends, family, or partners. The fear of abandonment is al...
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January 13, 2023 25 mins
The fact that there are more rigorous mental health requirements for people who want to do weight loss surgeries than there are for adoptive parents is a shame. Adoptive parents think they’ve done us a huge favor and “saved” our lives, that without them we’d be worse off - that’s the lie the whole industry is built on. Holding up that lie is racism, colonialism, and narcissism. The adoption industry thrives on centering the ro...
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December 23, 2022 30 mins
Ungrateful Adoptees 

No, I’m not grateful you adopted me. 


Why would I be grateful for family separation? Why would I be grateful for being lied to about where I came from? Why would I be grateful for solving their infertility issues? It’s adoptive parents that should be grateful to have us, not the other way around. This episode is all about rejecting the tone-dead narrative of gra...
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December 9, 2022 35 mins
It’s a Family Reunion

Family reunification for adoptees: our journeys, challenges and advice

Our family reunification stories (as adoptees) 

Scouring through facebook, twitter, and adoption boards to find your biological family is a heavy journey. There are so many risks: what if they reject us again? What if they abandon us again? What if our adoptive parents feel of...
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November 25, 2022 30 mins
Adoptees and grief 

Coping with grief as an adoptee 

They change our name, our identity is erased. They don’t change it, we feel like outsiders. As adoptees, we don’t belong to any family…neither our adoptive family or biological family really gets us. In this episode, we talk about the many ways grief shows up for adoptees and talk about tools of coping with adoption including finding a...
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November 4, 2022 30 mins
NOT a feel good podcast about being adopted 

We’re the not-so-feel-good show about adoption (coming out of the fog)

We are 3 people with 3 very different experiences of being adopted. In this podcast we deconstruct the romanticism holding up the adoption industry and expose the lies, abuse, and pain that get silenced. We’re here to unwrap the shiny bow around adoption and speak our truth...
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October 24, 2022 1 min
  • No, adoption isn’t magical. 
  • No, I’m not grateful for being adopted. 
  • Yes, being adopted is painful 
  • Yes, adoption is trauma 
This is the not-so-feel-good podcast where we reflect deeply on our experiences being adoptees and expose the pains inflicted by the adoption industry one episode at a time. 

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