Toxic shame isn’t just a feeling—it’s a state of being, hardwired into our nervous system through childhood experiences. Let's break down the neuroscience behind toxic shame and see how we can begin to rewire our brains for healing.
Robyn Gobbel is a psychotherapist specializing in relational neuroscience, translating complex brain science into practical strategies for parents and professionals. She authored "Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors," providing insights into understanding and addressing challenging child behaviors.
Key Takeaways:
- What Makes Shame Toxic? Unlike guilt or healthy shame, toxic shame makes you believe you are fundamentally flawed, not just that you made a mistake.
- How Toxic Shame Gets Wired Into the Brain Early experiences of misattunement, neglect, or invalidation shape how we see ourselves and stay locked in our nervous system.
- Rewiring Shame Through Disconfirming Experiences Healing requires new, safe experiences that contradict old shame-based expectations of rejection and abandonment.
- Why We Keep Recreating Trauma in Relationships Our brains unconsciously seek familiar dynamics, hoping for a different outcome—but healing means consciously breaking those cycles.
- The Role of Memory Reconsolidation in Healing We can rewire our brain’s response to shame by reshaping how we store and process painful past experiences.
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