July 12, 2025 • 40 mins
What happens when love leads the way in childcare? Joss Cambridge-Simmons, founder of six-time award-winning Jossie Care, takes us on a journey through his 18 years as a male nanny breaking barriers in a female-dominated industry.
From the moment Joss begins sharing his story, you'll feel his infectious passion for creating safe, authentic spaces for children. As a Black man in childcare, he brings a unique perspective on representation, challenging outdated gender norms, and what he calls "decolonizing love" – breaking away from societal constructs that limit who can provide nurturing care.
Joss reveals how children show him their rawest emotions – the ones they don't display at school or elsewhere – and how he meets these moments with grace rather than control. "I'm not trying to win these kids," he explains. "I'm trying to aid these children in working with them in a way that benefits them longer." His approach transforms not just the children, but the parents who witness this different model of care.
You'll discover practical wisdom for childcare providers, from starting each day with gratitude to finding your supportive village. Joss emphasizes the crucial importance of self-care: "I can't go and give the level of care I need to give if I can't give the level of care I need to give myself."
Whether you're a childcare professional seeking to enhance your approach, a parent curious about different caregiving styles, or someone interested in how love can transform relationships, this episode offers heartfelt insights that will stick with you long after listening. Subscribe to hear more conversations like this, and visit AdventureNannies.com/Summit-Sessions to join our next live webinar!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Welcome to Adventure Nannies On Air.
Today's episode was recordedlive during one of our Summit
Sessions as a part of our freeongoing educational webinar
series to support nannies andprofessional child care
providers to elevate theircareers and enhance their skills
.
If you like what you hear, youcan catch the full episode on
our YouTube channel or registerfor our next Summit Session at
AdventureNanniescom slash Summitdash Sessions.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Welcome to today's Summit Session.
My name is Regan Fulton, I amthe Marketing Director for
Adventure Nannies and I'm goingto be the host of tonight's
session.
Today we are so excited to havean amazing topic that is so
important how love can buildsafety within our communities
and relationships.
We have an incredible guesthere with us.
(02:15):
Joss Cambridge Simmons, thefounder of Jossie Care, is not
only a longtime child careprofessional and community
advocate, but he is a man whotruly lets love lead the way.
With 18 years of experiencewalking alongside families, Joss
has cultivated a deeplyauthentic, heart-centered
approach, rooted in hisBlackness, which has helped him
build a six-time award-winningchild care business.
(02:38):
He brings a unique blend ofpresence, compassion and
steadfast belief in love as atransformative tool.
So get ready to be inspired andconnected, and truly with what
matters, as we explore leadingwith love and challenging old
systems and finding healing andgrace.
Welcome, Chas.
I'm so excited to have you here.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Thank you for having me, it's just one village to the
other right now, isn't it?
You all have separate villagesand you've just become one Very
reflective of the clan missionsupport children and support
families.
Everyone has a different way ofdoing it, but the mission is
the mission for all of us.
That's where we align the most,where I knew of adventure
(03:18):
nannies from many, many moonsago.
That's why, when I tagged ittoday, I mentioned the
world-renowned adventure nannies, because to me, they should be
bigger than they are.
They should have a biggerplatform than they are.
The voice is amazing, but itneeds to be seen by more people
because the work they do tosupport nannies in being seen,
(03:38):
being heard, being valued, beingpaid well and the authenticity
where I've seen how much theysupport people and being their
true, their true, authenticselves.
Being from London,conversations around race and
gender are something that isdone in a polite manner and to
not be too in your face when,eventually, 90s are just in your
(04:01):
face with it and understand thecurrent conversations around
race, gender, masculinity andfemininity and are afraid to be
at the forefront of theseconversations, putting people
like me in a place to haveconversations about race, gender
equality and the specifics thatalign with all the deeds within
our child care world all overthe world.
So in saying that, guys, I'mjoss cainwood simmons, a teacher
(04:24):
of love and the founder ofjossie care, six-time
award-winning child care service.
I'm a man from the village andwhat that village looks like for
me is love, support, passion,belief, authenticity, growth,
turmoil because life isn'tlinear and life isn't always
(04:44):
simple fuddles.
And also a village of trauma,because we've all been through
what we've been through in life.
But all of those intricatethings have led me to become a
man that leads with love and isable to immerse himself in
spaces with children andfamilies and is able to become
(05:08):
just a vessel for these children.
And I say resource because I'velearned over time that love is
a resource that us don't knowthat we need until we need it.
So Jossie came with theresource of love that families
don't realize they need until itenters the building.
They've realized that.
Well, we never knew we neededJoss and how that looks for the
(05:29):
children is me being a safespace for these children.
For me, as a black man and as amale educator, is I get every
side of their emotions and everyversion of their emotions and
the emotions they don't show atschool, because what I've
learned 9 out of 10 childrenmask.
It's not just a thing ofchildren on what we call in
(05:50):
London spectrum, it isn't justchildren having the spectrum
mask.
I've let nine out of 10children sometimes 10 children
mask their emotions and it'stheir caregivers and their
parents that get the brunt oftheir biggest, most turbulent,
raw emotions Absolutely theemotions I know they don't
portray at a school or nurseryis what I get.
(06:12):
I did not want to sit down andhave dinner.
There's also no rules here, sowe don't sit and have dinner.
We sometimes have dinner whilstwe're eating.
We sometimes eat dinner underthe table because sometimes I
just want them to eat, but thenI have to remix it and realise I
don't want to see it as abattle, because battles are to
be won.
I'm not trying to win these kids.
I'm trying to aid thesechildren in working with them in
(06:33):
a way that benefits them longer.
It suits my ego and has me in aplace as an adult where I'm
being heard and seen and mywords being followed through by
children.
No, I need my work to bechallenged.
I take the deep breaths and forme to work out.
Is this the job I really want.
Like, how do I do this?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I love.
That is so incredible.
You want them to feel safe withyou.
So, like you just told us a bitabout, like your philosophy,
how you handle both.
Tell us about, like yourchildcare journey how did you
get into being a nanny, how didyou fall into this and how did
you know a little bit how youfell into this philosophy.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
When you arrive at a family party and your favourite
cousin walks in and you're like,oh my God, that's Cuddy.
A lot of us educators havearrived with a great energy and
a great essence.
How I arrived here is I wasloved well, so I could love well
, and it's only because I comefrom a village of where I'm
loved, I'm valued, I'mappreciated.
For my child it wasn't as happyas it sounded because there was
(07:30):
trauma, there was domesticviolence through the morning,
there was a number of stuff thatdidn't align with who I am now,
but everything that I witnessedand went through as a child
aided me to be able to be gentleand be soft as an adult.
I wish it wasn't.
Obviously none of us.
If any of us could have turnedback time, you would have
(07:52):
created the witness, what we'vewitnessed, to add the
experiences we experienced.
But if you look at who we arenow, I'm not the usual I am now
and it's only because I've beenable to be in spaces with
children and families where myunderstanding of my own personal
journey with my own trauma andmy own childhood put me into a
space of wanting to understandtrauma more on a professional
(08:16):
level.
So I knew how to knock traumadown and I knew how to not let
my traumas lead.
I knew how to knock them outbecause a lot of educators are
in this space and normally say Ido this work because I've been
through it too, and that's likeme saying, hey, I love serving
because Sarah's been throughsomething.
That's the worst reason to datesomebody because you both been
through the same excuse mylanguage, but BS.
(08:38):
That's what you call traumabonding.
Educated, the trauma bondedwith this role.
And I see it in their practice.
And how that looked for me isover the years.
I started off working innurseries because I had two
little brothers and my mumhelped me find a job in a
nursery setting and it was basedon me working in nursery when I
(08:58):
realized I really enjoysupporting children under five.
Also, whilst working innurseries, I was aware of the
lack of many childcare.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
The opportunity even make sense to you Because I love
so much of what you do inencouraging other men to get
into the field as well.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
I wasn't aware of it, and it's also why it's
imperative that I have to leteveryone know that
representation is important.
It matters.
I'm an 80s baby.
I was brought up on tools likeHoney I Drop the the Kids, danny
Dayshare, mrs Doubtfire ThreeMen and a Baby Kindergarten Cop.
All of these films had mengoing above and beyond.
(09:42):
Mrs Doubtfire, the dad changed.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
He might not have started as the best, but he
learned to right.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Yes, and for me, when John Travolta volta became a
stepdad, that wasn't his fate.
But and for me, seeing this andhaving my dad around and my
godfathers and also having astepdad, I only ever saw men
that showed up for me.
So I didn't know what it wasn'tto not show up.
So when I'm saying as ateenager, I'm not understanding
(10:13):
that this is, that, isn't a jobthat men are meant to not do.
Because I was raised up on tv,watching tv shows, practice of
bel-air.
Uncle phil was everyone'sfather, like absolutely uncle
phil was everybody's want to bethat and it's only because I saw
all of this why I only saw menin a nurturing, present,
(10:35):
consistent space.
So when I stepped into workingin nurseries, me seeing that
transcended into me, beingconsistent and showing up.
Because I didn't know how tospace of 18 years I worked in
nurseries as a nurse manager,room lead, these educator, which
is a nursery teacher,kindergarten teacher.
(10:56):
I worked in care homes withchildren, that in between foster
homes or in between theirparental home and now, under the
government's legislation,living in care homes with carers
.
I worked in family and babyunits where the government side
person moms and dads to come andget parent coaching in a
(11:19):
Saturday baby group.
Basically Well, if Jossie carecame about.
Marketing wise was where I'vebeen DJ to 13.
There was kind of like a realmarketing mindset of you want
everyone in the local area toknow that you're a DJ.
So even if they don't use you,I was told to you want everybody
in North London to know thatyou DJ.
(11:40):
What happened is every localfood shop, every off-lacers,
every corner shop, every cafe,every barbershop had my business
card in there.
And this was before I even knewwhat was coming to me 10 years
later.
Well, I was adamant that I wantto be, regardless of whether
they're going to book me or not.
(12:01):
18 years later, people see meall around about oh, you're
still doing it, yeah, I am.
I was like, yeah, 18, 19.
And that's how Jossie Care cameabout.
And Jossie Care also came aboutoff the back of me wanting to be
a nanny and never being alignedwith.
But I did make white women ahandbag full of gifts.
I don't turn up to houses withtoys, I'm not that educator, but
(12:25):
educating is what my biggestresource for these kids is.
My presence and my lovetranscends.
And what's happened over timeis I've been able to be in these
spaces and embed myself intochildren's play areas.
I've always been a bit of rebel.
I've never really liked rules,so if I see everyone going that
(12:46):
way, I want to go the other way.
Why not?
I want to get the results,obviously, of getting.
And I'm also very big as I'molder now I'm very big with
analyzing and dismantling socialconstructs.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
So the way you might do something.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
I'm going to find a different way to do it and
reconstruct it.
And what's happened is I had abusiness card with School of
Trustee Care.
I was given their cards andthere was also nannying and
babysitting for families that Imet.
But I was also trying to gothrough agencies in London and
just all over the world and findjobs, and it was 18, 19, 20, 21
(13:20):
, etc.
A lot of agencies would replyback saying, hi, we don't have
any jobs for men.
So even then, agencies wereseeing nannying as a space where
you have just specifically forwomen.
I'm knocking on the door andthey won't let me in.
So I created Jossie Care andJossie Care became my own door,
my own way into a childcareindustry, which I've now become
(13:43):
who I am within the space andalso I've got this far being my
most authentic self as a blackmale as well, which is highly
sought for.
But also it's still not thenorm in 2025.
I'm still an anomaly.
I'm still seen as oh, is thatwhat you do?
Like?
Oh, wow, you're still havingconversations where we're trying
(14:03):
to get more men into theindustry.
Or, over the years, when societychanged, people started giving
me jobs.
I just was applying for jobs.
I just wasn't getting thembecause the job just wasn't for
me.
That's why Adventure Nanniesmade me feel safer.
It wasn't a no because of me.
It might be a no because of myCV and I just wasn't afraid for
that family Down to my gender ordown to my race, where some
(14:26):
agencies have made it an issueof race or gender.
They haven't seen the issue,but I saw the issue an issue of
race or gender.
Then.
They haven't seen the issue,but I felt the issue.
Adventure Nannies and my manand Me by James from James who
you've met through agencies thathave really supported me on
this journey as a male nanny andobviously pushed for parents to
choose, to ask men, becausewe're still not chosen.
(14:46):
But it also put me in the spaceof nobody chooses you, you
choose yourself.
But it also put me in the spaceof nobody chooses you choose
yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Yes, I love that you choose yourself.
Oh, that is so beautiful.
We love when we get nannyapplications.
We love to have you on ourrosters and families have their
own hiring decisions, but wealways encourage families to
hire based on the resume.
Exactly like you said based onthe resume.
I am curious we at adventurenannies do not use the term
(15:14):
nanny.
I know that's a term that getsfloated around.
Some nanny is not a genderedterm, so we don't.
There's no need to have aseparate term and we very much
would never market specificallyno mannies or only mannies.
You know nannies important, soI was curious what you're
feeling if you do use the term,how you feel about it.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
It's funny I was told like little rumors that like as
an American people mightbelieve that all English people
drink tea.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
We throw it all in the harbor, so we got to keep it
.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
There's been a rumor in the UK that in America the
term mayonnaise is illegal.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
No.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Okay, it is not.
Yeah, been a rumor in the UKthat in America the term nanny
is illegal.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
no, okay, yeah no, not illegal at all.
Honestly, there's very littleregulation actually around the
nanny industry at all.
The UK has much more than theUS does, for sure.
Yeah, that is so interesting.
No, not illegal.
But at least at AdventureNannies we do not use the term
because male nannies are nannies.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
My counter argument is or the individuals don't
believe they have a gender.
Would you call them when theybecome a nanny?
Would you gender-specific thoseindividuals into saying you've
got to call yourself this orcall yourself that, when they
don't refer to themselves as amale or female or they're
non-binary, they still give agreat level of childcare.
But it's also showed me thelack of representation for
(16:36):
transgenders and non-binariesand LGBTQ community as well, how
much they're not seen and heardin this space and alongside the
fact that we have a lack of menin the conversation and our men
in childcare isn't spoken onconsistently enough.
No, I don't have an issue withwhat I'm called, but I do
dislike it when I say I'm ananny and people correct me
(16:57):
saying I'm a nanny.
I'm not fussed.
I've also been a nanny for solong way before the gender
specifics came in.
I was getting booked to dochildcare Way before it become a
trait of what's your gender.
Yeah, it's funny becausesometimes the children correct
me, but that's because thechildren in society will
construct what isn't?
And then they'll be like I had achild get upset and cry in a
(17:19):
park where my kids are playingwith this child they just met.
I introduced myself to the kidsto say, hi, I'm Josh's son, the
kid's nanny.
You know, I had myself lettingyou be a back and forth with
like a 10 year old because I'm10.
(17:39):
While she was so steadfast andso strongly believed that I
could not be a nanny, she criedand her dad was so triggered by
her being upset I don't think heknew how to show up for her in
that conversation.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
They just stalled off and went home because I'm sure
he didn't want to make you feellike and he did, of course
didn't know that and then thatalso seen some of the
conversation and he's trying tohave his daughter not say, to
say anymore what they've left inthem.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
My child, my kids, you know, ask me questions
around.
What led that?
Why was she upset, and why dopeople feel men can't look after
us just like them about thefact that dad looks after them
and I'm a man that's like theirdad, but I'm not their dad?
Speaker 2 (18:13):
sometimes the hardest part with those little ones is
not, you know, kind ofexplaining why you do things
differently without puttingthose ideas in their head.
So you speak.
You know a lot of challengingold systems in a practical sense
.
How can you know love?
How you know like, how doeslove dismantle those systems?
We've spoken a lot about likebeing a man in the industry and
(18:36):
how you are leading that way andI love how much you are you
know in terms of dismantlingsystems in general, especially
through the kids.
How do we do that and what arethe new norms that you see?
You know afterwards, what isyour ideal of like, what those
that 10 year old child sees you?
Speaker 3 (18:53):
because my new answer to that is decolonizing love.
We do that.
I've realized how much a lot ofus are comfortable with a
social construct that benefit usand that's the challenge.
And it's very hard to tellsomeone that you know what that
isn't the best way to do it,when what they've been doing for
how many years has worked forthem and they've got a house,
they've got money, they've got ajob it's benefited them so much
(19:14):
.
It's like the wholeconversation about gender roles,
yeah, and gender roles withinthe realm of dating and
relationships is where itbenefits the people that believe
there should be gender roles.
But at the same instancethere's misogynism, there's
control and there's lessadvocacy and there's misogynism,
there's control and there'sless advocacy and there's less
consent.
But because in that space theystill feel safe and seen and
(19:37):
heard, the misogynism for themis just not misogynism for them
to be okay with until it isn't.
And when I say decolonizing loveis breaking away from societal
constructs and societal norms ofwhat we see and view love to be
within adult relationships.
And then when we look at thatand break down some adult
(19:57):
relationships and take away themisogynism, the toxicity, the
lack of men that aren'tconsistent and safe men all over
the world, because the issue ofunsafe men all over the world
is a fact.
That's when the conversation ofhow do we support our kids in
doing this, in doing, and howthat looks for me, is having
(20:18):
more conversations about the menthat the right thing create,
the right choices, areemotionally available,
emotionally present, mostlyconsistent, soft, gentle.
Because if you look online, theconversations around the men
that don't do everything, it'sconversations that are going
viral and we're liking them,we're showing, and no one's
conversations around the menthat don't do everything.
It's conversations that aregoing viral and we're liking and
we're sharing, and no one'stalking about the men that do.
This isn't about applauding menfor doing their minimum and
(20:40):
doing what they should do, buthaving conversations on the
positives that men do, thepositive men that are out there
doing this stuff, not to shedlight on them, to make them any
bigger than they are, but tocounter the conversation that's
completely opposing againstthese men Thinking thrive how
(21:00):
they see online, in the sphereof online mail I do mail, I hate
that term, it's reflective.
Coming back to it now is there'snot many dads that I have met
that haven't agreed with me whenI said fatherhood, be showing
up as a parent doing the parentstuff, having a tea time in the
garden with your toddlers whocan see your toddlers about
(21:22):
changing nappies, because everytime you go changing nappy they
run away because they don't wantto be changed.
They're busy.
Supporting children's emotionsisn't specific to you as a
father.
The parents also have tounderstand.
There's parents that don'treceive the title of mum or dad
due to choices that he I thinkit's he she or they they would
(21:44):
refer to.
There's conversations that alsoneed to be inclusive.
All versions of humans in thespace of so when I am talking to
fathers and I ask them, how hasmasculinity been changed for
you by fatherhood?
And they said they never knewthey could be so emotionally
available because they was.
But as a parent, there'sanother ounce of emotion that
(22:07):
comes with being a parent.
You have to dig deeper and pullthrough, and there's also
parents that are doing thisalone and doing this by
themselves.
My dad was just the one otheralone in the house, with two,
three, four kids, and that's whya lot of it now for me on
Instagram called Raising Me andMine.
(22:27):
Oh, my goodness, rais, raisingme and mine.
So, raising me and mine.
I love that.
They spoke today about aconversation where parents pitch
it.
The mums within their groupspitch in.
How is Cardinal going for them?
I'm here to support everyone,if I can, because I do childcare
how I support.
But I've said all I can say isdo all with grace, take your
(22:48):
time.
Grace is a luxury we all get tohave at times.
For those parents that aredoing it alone, what's grace?
If I don't do it, who's doingit?
Yeah, who's giving them grace?
When I come into work, I'velearned, I know, I tried to know
all the parents how they are,because majority of parents have
(23:09):
lost it, whether it's mum anddad or one parent in the house.
20 parents have had thesleepiest night with their kids
all over the world Me walking infresh haircut, colorful jumper,
feeling top of the world,feeling great, all this great
energy, and they're just tiredof drinking coffee waiting to
(23:30):
get an asker to work.
I just thought, hi guys loveyou, rather than to trigger a
question of how are you?
Because I've also realized howtricky that question is, because
sometimes, as a parent,regardless of your financial
space in life, you don't knowhow you want time to sit down
and think about how you want inthe middle what you just said
about the way you walk in andjust like, hey guys, I'm here.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
I can't imagine, as a parent who does not have their
own nanny, the relief and, likethe, that is the work of nannies
that I believe is so beautifuland so impactful, not only for
the children but the parents.
What you just said about whatyou do for the parents and
coming in and just being thereand being able to let them step
(24:09):
away and give, you're givingthem grace.
You're giving them the space tobe able to cultivate that grace
that they need to have fortheir kids when they come back.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
At the end of the day and, like you said, not
everybody has that so beautiful,the way that you do that for
the families, that you canimpact, yes, and spread that
love and also it's learned,because I've got a lot of
friends that are mums, that havegot godchildren, who are
amazing mums, and I've knownthem over the years and just
being in the space also learnedhow triggering the thought of a
(24:39):
mother and the years for mumsthat have been constantly let
down by men.
Because, like I said, parentingputs you in spaces where you
have to face things, where youmight go to a baby group and
you've got a bunch of mums inthere that have all stay-at-home
mums, that amazing buggy, everyyoung one to take, or two of
them like buggy carry yark, solululemon and just looking on
(25:04):
top of the world with twins.
I know how triggering that'd beand know how much mums don't go
to baby groups because of this.
So it's made me be very carefulof what language I use when
talking to parents and languageI use in this space, because one
you never know what someone'sgoing through in regards to
whether they're early or notWithin this parenting space.
Sadly, the world isn't made tosupport parents, to be parents.
(25:25):
The world's set in a way thatparents have to go out and
thrive outside of the householdbefore they can thrive inside
the household, and so when Icome in.
I'm very mindful of when I comein and the belief I give parents
, let alone.
They often ask me like how doyou do it, joss?
How are you so positive?
How do you not get so triggered, how do you not get so annoyed
(25:48):
when our children say oi to yourather than say your name, and
the mum and dad in the firstplace say something I've heard
you.
I just respond differently to.
That Works for us because theparents don't feel the way to
respond.
How they respond and how Irespond doesn't no longer
trigger them to make the fuckingathlete's breakfast as just.
But the parents have now giventhemselves a more graceful
(26:09):
understanding because of theapproach I had with their
children.
Even this scenario recently atwork, where a little one wanted
to go and do something, he saidyou can't do it anymore.
The transitioning changehappened quite rapidly.
So I understand theirgrievances, but it was kind of a
.
It was a no and what's happenedis her and dad are in the
kitchen and it's like a standoffbecause she's trying to escape
(26:30):
the house.
The dad, you have a.
See yourself as a parent gofrom calm to calmer.
Solarius is becoming more andmore triggering and I think when
, as parents, you often rememberhow you was raised and how you
was approached in this Solarius,but it's difficult to unlearn
what you've been told to do orhow you've been raised yourself.
(26:51):
So it is that you were shaking,but in the midst of your
shaking you become more calm.
And it wasn't a, it wasn't thatanger that brings out a
calmness and brings out asilence.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Scary anger.
No, it was a calmness that he'sworking.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
He's working through this.
You won't understand whereshe's come from.
I've also come into support butI don't want to overstep,
because when you're halfwaythrough de-escalating something,
as an adult I don't want tostep in and undo the work you've
just put in, but I want to bethere as a supportive voice
because we are a team, one team,one dream, and we both work.
(27:25):
We both are the same responsesto her become and we both had
the same responses to herbecoming softer.
Then I said to her but I fullyunderstand how upset you are
because I know how much youwanted to go through it.
I fully understand we love it.
It's your routine in your head.
It's like this is what I'mdoing, this is why I've got this
, but please, we've said no fora reason that pertains to you
(27:46):
being safe and you being welland you being happy a long time,
rather than you going and itnot working the way it should go
.
So if you have a shower,remember what I said about
having showers.
Sometimes showers can wash awayhow you feel.
So that came in the shower.
We were just like she had it inher to resolve and stuff, and
then second shower I've got togo home.
(28:08):
The granddad was there.
Granddad was so triggered heleft the house.
We got home, dad walked backdownstairs to get a drink or
whatever.
He tapped me on the shoulderand said you're not, because we
both knew how hard that was.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yeah, but then also saw how you both showed up the
way that she needed you to.
Yes.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
And I think, lastly, I also know how much men in this
space don't want to be theconstant disciplinarians or the
ogres, so to speak, where peopleoften from the time of
childhood, be like I needchildcare, I need some of my
kids to listen to your wholelife.
I work with loving gentlenessand these children who thrive
around it.
It's a longer process but itbenefits them long term because
(28:51):
I don't have to shout for mychildren to listen to me.
They don't listen to me, but wecan read it back in eventually
and we have a conversation aboutit.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Yeah, Because we should all have the space to be
able to have our feelings.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
I I love men in general and I want the best for
us all over the world, but Ialso know how much as men we let
down, we let down society.
So I don't want to be the firstman to break any of these young
girls strong willingness ortrust because sadly that is to
come.
There's men in her life thatshe might meet outside the house
that might disappoint her and Ialso want to support my little
girls in knowing how to dealwith disappointment when it
(29:29):
comes to men and knowing thatthere are, even if one, once
they do come upon thatdisappointment that there is
another, that is not the onlything that exists.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
There is good men, there is gentle.
I love that I, as you weretelling that story, I was
curious do you have any tangibletips for, like, how you show up
?
You know you talked aboutshowing up.
Is there anything that you doas like a ritual or as like
routine that nannies can takeaway and do themselves to help
(30:02):
them come into a space every dayand work with that calm and
love-led approach?
Is there anything like that youdo that you could pass along as
a tip?
Speaker 3 (30:13):
one thing I do daily on my spotify.
I've got a playlist on spotifycalled mornings of gratitude, so
I have a playlist of music forme that's just positive.
Great vibes helps me start myday.
And if I don't show upthroughout the day and I have a
somewhat bad day, my morningwhen work, I show up for myself
(30:37):
and I play my playlist and Imake my bed, Cause they're
little little steps.
They look on my, they lookwhere I get paid to show up for
people my job so and I have toshow up for people irregardless
of anything else.
I see friends and family.
I have a lot of space and timefor myself.
I've been DJing for years.
Djing is a hobby but also a job, but it's something that fills
(30:57):
up my cup and it's somethingthat's totally, completely
different from childcare.
Yes, I've got a sub stackcalled Just Choose Love.
I have a lot of outlets andspace, but I've got a sub stack
called Just Choose Love.
I have a lot of outlets of space, but the biggest for me is
stillness and doing nothing.
I'm doing nothing and I need tocome down because we're
busybodies, Great at taking careof people.
(31:18):
I'm an amazing childcare workerbecause I take care of my own
child and it's difficult butit's imperative because I can't
go and give the level of care Ineed to give if I can't give the
level of care I need to givemyself.
That's why the little gifts Iget from my family for Christmas
and my birthday because theyrealise I'm so big on self-care
and they get me vouchers for thelocal wellbeing shop
(31:42):
Aftershaves, facial creams, bathsalts for our wellbeing We've
also realised how imperative itis to us as well.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Because we need it.
Mum goes soundbathing.
She books me a sound bathsession.
Lastly is sometimes askyourself your why your calling
might have no longer be yourcalling, which is fine.
You might have fallen off withit, and all good things, all
things come to an end to startbetter beginnings.
I don't be afraid to take sometime out and say I don't want to
do this anymore.
(32:11):
And also something that Istruggled to find.
But I find a village withinthis educational nanny world
where I've got superb nannyfriends and they're grateful.
It's probably.
I know how hard it's been forme to have made friends in this
space the day.
So I've got friends, butfriends that I can talk to daily
, that I can work with.
(32:32):
I've got the religion too, butI would like a bigger village,
but I'm grateful for the villageI have in, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
I think that's the question Absolutely.
I love this stillness.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
We're going to have to get that link to the playlist
and we'll add it to the shownotes for the episode.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
So anybody listening to the replay can go find it.
Since I'll point your storiesbecause that's a great I love
and you're a dj, so I'm sure theplaylist is just incredible.
I'm super excited to give it alisten.
Let me look at we do have acouple questions.
So we've got about 15 minutesleft the question and, kimberly,
I'm going to ask you to clarifyoh, and she's gone, darn it.
(33:07):
Just to ask if we could put thename of the group, and I missed
it when it came through, so Idon't know what group, what we
were talking about when she saidthat.
I think it was raising me andmine.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Okay, raising the Instagram page because it's
called raising me and mine okayand I will get all of these
links.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I will get all the links from the pages that we
talked about anything Jossmentioned here, and I will put
it in the show notes to makesure that everybody can find
those pages that you suggested.
So I would love and you've toldsome amazing stories today, but
in your 18 years of experienceis there one story in your
(33:45):
childcare that really juststands out as a really impactful
moment or someplace that youknow really exemplified the
love-led approach and what youdo?
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Recently it was Father's Day and I think last
year it happened.
I mentioned to all the dadsHappy Father's Day, my friends
and dads, all the dads I workwith with.
And then my dad last year toldme I could promise that here,
because my dad knows what I do,that's what I do.
But you don't sometimes realizethat parents might really see
the value what you're doing andmy dad's saying I know you're
(34:19):
adapting these kids just andit's beautiful, because my dad
was also supportive of mystepdad in my life as well.
So it goes without saying.
But the biggest was this year.
I've seen the kitchen at work,cooking as we do because we're
chefs, we're all chefs andyou're the one doing some work
on the table, youngest, becauseI can't be doing, I'm just
making a picture for mummy,because I miss mummy.
It's mummy time right now.
I said okay, she comes to showme.
(34:40):
After.
I said I look what I did.
What does that mean?
It's a father's day again card.
I was pretending because you'renot daddy, but you're like
daddy.
And I was like it's daddy daynumber two for you, because
you're not daddy but you're aman and you look after us and
you said our words becauseyou're so soft.
I talk to my kids aboutsoftness, that I'm soft with
them, and even sometimes shesaid to me, josh, you're not
being soft, that's ugly grumpy.
(35:01):
I said, okay, I'll work on that.
But knowing that she sees me asanother man in her life, with
her dad and her granddad, andvalued you enough to write me a
card that no one's asked her togive, no one's asked her to do
this, and dad was like superover the moon, beautiful Mum
wanted to cry.
I nearly cried and that was.
(35:22):
I think that's it because I alsowant men, want these children
to be able to have men in theirlives that are solid, that are
consistent, that are safe spaces, and that's what I've become
for the village of children.
So what Jiva's done, I had tobe in this today.
I've done enough.
And I think also with theselittle children, also with these
(35:46):
little children, to see someonethat looks like me and have the
body they have for me is evenmore imperative, because staying
attached, that it's in themedia all over the world isn't
aren't always the best.
So I've now abolished that,because whenever we see my
friends that look like me, thegirls say hi quick and be like
that was your friend that we sawthe other day and be chilling
with my friends and play, and sothey should be.
But sometimes, if childrenaren't spread to certain
(36:07):
cultures, they're going to benot Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
That's incredible.
So you've talked a lot aboutyour approach and how the
love-led approach impacts thechildren, but it also impacts
the parents that you work with,and I think that your journey is
so incredible and has expandedwhat's next?
Because clearly your impact isgoing farther than just the
children and the families youwork with.
(36:30):
We love having you herespeaking, sharing with other
nannies.
There's got to be.
Where is the love-led approachgoing?
How are you going to share itwith the world?
Because we, you know it needsto be out here and I want to
know what's next.
You know that.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
I'm amazing with Frederica and for me, what's
next is I've been approached byan amazing publishing house.
When I told the children I'mwriting a book, they was like
who are you with?
I said name.
They're like who?
They meant Harry Potter.
I've got a Harry Potter bookout.
So the practice that I'vecreated to support educators and
(37:04):
families to raise childrenbasically is based on my ethos
of love and love, safety andunderstanding.
As a performer, I also what Ialso did was the proposal that
I've got me in the press editedit, but it keeps to use.
I think we're also creatingself-published authors because
we can get them to publish theirbooks and their amazing books.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Absolutely.
That's how we published ourbooks, so if anybody else wants
to get their story out, I am soexcited to get this book.
Make sure you share it with us.
If you're listening to thisepisode years down the line,
we'll add Joss's book in hereonce it's published.
This philosophy and, like Isaid, you're doing a great work
(37:45):
within the community that you'rein, but I am so excited that
you know Welcome Across the Pond, getting to share it with our
audience, to continue to sharethis amazing message with the
world.
So I'm so excited.
If we have any other questions,go ahead and drop them in, but
I don't see any in the chat.
So is there anything lastminute that you want to leave
(38:06):
the audience with before we wrapit up?
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Do your best to practice being present for
yourself.
The more present you are foryourself, the more present you
can be for the edge of that ageor be a family, friends or work.
And there's also a song I'mgoing to find.
It's called Worth Ethic A ladycalled Toni and it's worth ethic
.
It talks about manifesting yourworth and knowing your worth
(38:31):
and acting within your worth.
And that's my new Alarm Clocksong.
It's an amazing song, worthethic Beautiful.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Thank you so much.
We will get all of the links ofeverything.
I'll poke you and get all theplaylists and all of the songs
and all of the amazing pagesthat you shared and we will
share all of your information.
Thank you for being here,everybody please make sure you
go follow jossie care and what'syour handle name again share
your handle for everybody.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
We're back instagram.
Jossie care chose love becauselove is a twist and and that's
it.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Amazing.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Have a great day.
Bye.
Welcome to Adventure Nannies On Air.
Today's episode was recordedlive during one of our Summit
Sessions as a part of our freeongoing educational webinar
series to support nannies andprofessional child care
providers to elevate theircareers and enhance their skills
.
If you like what you hear, youcan catch the full episode on
our YouTube channel or registerfor our next Summit Session at
AdventureNanniescom slash Summitdash Sessions.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Welcome to today's Summit Session.
My name is Regan Fulton, I amthe Marketing Director for
Adventure Nannies and I'm goingto be the host of tonight's
session.
Today we are so excited to havean amazing topic that is so
important how love can buildsafety within our communities
and relationships.
We have an incredible guesthere with us.
(02:15):
Joss Cambridge Simmons, thefounder of Jossie Care, is not
only a longtime child careprofessional and community
advocate, but he is a man whotruly lets love lead the way.
With 18 years of experiencewalking alongside families, Joss
has cultivated a deeplyauthentic, heart-centered
approach, rooted in hisBlackness, which has helped him
build a six-time award-winningchild care business.
(02:38):
He brings a unique blend ofpresence, compassion and
steadfast belief in love as atransformative tool.
So get ready to be inspired andconnected, and truly with what
matters, as we explore leadingwith love and challenging old
systems and finding healing andgrace.
Welcome, Chas.
I'm so excited to have you here.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Thank you for having me, it's just one village to the
other right now, isn't it?
You all have separate villagesand you've just become one Very
reflective of the clan missionsupport children and support
families.
Everyone has a different way ofdoing it, but the mission is
the mission for all of us.
That's where we align the most,where I knew of adventure
(03:18):
nannies from many, many moonsago.
That's why, when I tagged ittoday, I mentioned the
world-renowned adventure nannies, because to me, they should be
bigger than they are.
They should have a biggerplatform than they are.
The voice is amazing, but itneeds to be seen by more people
because the work they do tosupport nannies in being seen,
(03:38):
being heard, being valued, beingpaid well and the authenticity
where I've seen how much theysupport people and being their
true, their true, authenticselves.
Being from London,conversations around race and
gender are something that isdone in a polite manner and to
not be too in your face when,eventually, 90s are just in your
(04:01):
face with it and understand thecurrent conversations around
race, gender, masculinity andfemininity and are afraid to be
at the forefront of theseconversations, putting people
like me in a place to haveconversations about race, gender
equality and the specifics thatalign with all the deeds within
our child care world all overthe world.
So in saying that, guys, I'mjoss cainwood simmons, a teacher
(04:24):
of love and the founder ofjossie care, six-time
award-winning child care service.
I'm a man from the village andwhat that village looks like for
me is love, support, passion,belief, authenticity, growth,
turmoil because life isn'tlinear and life isn't always
(04:44):
simple fuddles.
And also a village of trauma,because we've all been through
what we've been through in life.
But all of those intricatethings have led me to become a
man that leads with love and isable to immerse himself in
spaces with children andfamilies and is able to become
(05:08):
just a vessel for these children.
And I say resource because I'velearned over time that love is
a resource that us don't knowthat we need until we need it.
So Jossie came with theresource of love that families
don't realize they need until itenters the building.
They've realized that.
Well, we never knew we neededJoss and how that looks for the
(05:29):
children is me being a safespace for these children.
For me, as a black man and as amale educator, is I get every
side of their emotions and everyversion of their emotions and
the emotions they don't show atschool, because what I've
learned 9 out of 10 childrenmask.
It's not just a thing ofchildren on what we call in
(05:50):
London spectrum, it isn't justchildren having the spectrum
mask.
I've let nine out of 10children sometimes 10 children
mask their emotions and it'stheir caregivers and their
parents that get the brunt oftheir biggest, most turbulent,
raw emotions Absolutely theemotions I know they don't
portray at a school or nurseryis what I get.
(06:12):
I did not want to sit down andhave dinner.
There's also no rules here, sowe don't sit and have dinner.
We sometimes have dinner whilstwe're eating.
We sometimes eat dinner underthe table because sometimes I
just want them to eat, but thenI have to remix it and realise I
don't want to see it as abattle, because battles are to
be won.
I'm not trying to win these kids.
I'm trying to aid thesechildren in working with them in
(06:33):
a way that benefits them longer.
It suits my ego and has me in aplace as an adult where I'm
being heard and seen and mywords being followed through by
children.
No, I need my work to bechallenged.
I take the deep breaths and forme to work out.
Is this the job I really want.
Like, how do I do this?
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I love.
That is so incredible.
You want them to feel safe withyou.
So, like you just told us a bitabout, like your philosophy,
how you handle both.
Tell us about, like yourchildcare journey how did you
get into being a nanny, how didyou fall into this and how did
you know a little bit how youfell into this philosophy.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
When you arrive at a family party and your favourite
cousin walks in and you're like,oh my God, that's Cuddy.
A lot of us educators havearrived with a great energy and
a great essence.
How I arrived here is I wasloved well, so I could love well
, and it's only because I comefrom a village of where I'm
loved, I'm valued, I'mappreciated.
For my child it wasn't as happyas it sounded because there was
(07:30):
trauma, there was domesticviolence through the morning,
there was a number of stuff thatdidn't align with who I am now,
but everything that I witnessedand went through as a child
aided me to be able to be gentleand be soft as an adult.
I wish it wasn't.
Obviously none of us.
If any of us could have turnedback time, you would have
(07:52):
created the witness, what we'vewitnessed, to add the
experiences we experienced.
But if you look at who we arenow, I'm not the usual I am now
and it's only because I've beenable to be in spaces with
children and families where myunderstanding of my own personal
journey with my own trauma andmy own childhood put me into a
space of wanting to understandtrauma more on a professional
(08:16):
level.
So I knew how to knock traumadown and I knew how to not let
my traumas lead.
I knew how to knock them outbecause a lot of educators are
in this space and normally say Ido this work because I've been
through it too, and that's likeme saying, hey, I love serving
because Sarah's been throughsomething.
That's the worst reason to datesomebody because you both been
through the same excuse mylanguage, but BS.
(08:38):
That's what you call traumabonding.
Educated, the trauma bondedwith this role.
And I see it in their practice.
And how that looked for me isover the years.
I started off working innurseries because I had two
little brothers and my mumhelped me find a job in a
nursery setting and it was basedon me working in nursery when I
(08:58):
realized I really enjoysupporting children under five.
Also, whilst working innurseries, I was aware of the
lack of many childcare.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
The opportunity even make sense to you Because I love
so much of what you do inencouraging other men to get
into the field as well.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
I wasn't aware of it, and it's also why it's
imperative that I have to leteveryone know that
representation is important.
It matters.
I'm an 80s baby.
I was brought up on tools likeHoney I Drop the the Kids, danny
Dayshare, mrs Doubtfire ThreeMen and a Baby Kindergarten Cop.
All of these films had mengoing above and beyond.
(09:42):
Mrs Doubtfire, the dad changed.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
He might not have started as the best, but he
learned to right.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Yes, and for me, when John Travolta volta became a
stepdad, that wasn't his fate.
But and for me, seeing this andhaving my dad around and my
godfathers and also having astepdad, I only ever saw men
that showed up for me.
So I didn't know what it wasn'tto not show up.
So when I'm saying as ateenager, I'm not understanding
(10:13):
that this is, that, isn't a jobthat men are meant to not do.
Because I was raised up on tv,watching tv shows, practice of
bel-air.
Uncle phil was everyone'sfather, like absolutely uncle
phil was everybody's want to bethat and it's only because I saw
all of this why I only saw menin a nurturing, present,
(10:35):
consistent space.
So when I stepped into workingin nurseries, me seeing that
transcended into me, beingconsistent and showing up.
Because I didn't know how tospace of 18 years I worked in
nurseries as a nurse manager,room lead, these educator, which
is a nursery teacher,kindergarten teacher.
(10:56):
I worked in care homes withchildren, that in between foster
homes or in between theirparental home and now, under the
government's legislation,living in care homes with carers
.
I worked in family and babyunits where the government side
person moms and dads to come andget parent coaching in a
(11:19):
Saturday baby group.
Basically Well, if Jossie carecame about.
Marketing wise was where I'vebeen DJ to 13.
There was kind of like a realmarketing mindset of you want
everyone in the local area toknow that you're a DJ.
So even if they don't use you,I was told to you want everybody
in North London to know thatyou DJ.
(11:40):
What happened is every localfood shop, every off-lacers,
every corner shop, every cafe,every barbershop had my business
card in there.
And this was before I even knewwhat was coming to me 10 years
later.
Well, I was adamant that I wantto be, regardless of whether
they're going to book me or not.
(12:01):
18 years later, people see meall around about oh, you're
still doing it, yeah, I am.
I was like, yeah, 18, 19.
And that's how Jossie Care cameabout.
And Jossie Care also came aboutoff the back of me wanting to be
a nanny and never being alignedwith.
But I did make white women ahandbag full of gifts.
I don't turn up to houses withtoys, I'm not that educator, but
(12:25):
educating is what my biggestresource for these kids is.
My presence and my lovetranscends.
And what's happened over timeis I've been able to be in these
spaces and embed myself intochildren's play areas.
I've always been a bit of rebel.
I've never really liked rules,so if I see everyone going that
(12:46):
way, I want to go the other way.
Why not?
I want to get the results,obviously, of getting.
And I'm also very big as I'molder now I'm very big with
analyzing and dismantling socialconstructs.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
So the way you might do something.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
I'm going to find a different way to do it and
reconstruct it.
And what's happened is I had abusiness card with School of
Trustee Care.
I was given their cards andthere was also nannying and
babysitting for families that Imet.
But I was also trying to gothrough agencies in London and
just all over the world and findjobs, and it was 18, 19, 20, 21
(13:20):
, etc.
A lot of agencies would replyback saying, hi, we don't have
any jobs for men.
So even then, agencies wereseeing nannying as a space where
you have just specifically forwomen.
I'm knocking on the door andthey won't let me in.
So I created Jossie Care andJossie Care became my own door,
my own way into a childcareindustry, which I've now become
(13:43):
who I am within the space andalso I've got this far being my
most authentic self as a blackmale as well, which is highly
sought for.
But also it's still not thenorm in 2025.
I'm still an anomaly.
I'm still seen as oh, is thatwhat you do?
Like?
Oh, wow, you're still havingconversations where we're trying
(14:03):
to get more men into theindustry.
Or, over the years, when societychanged, people started giving
me jobs.
I just was applying for jobs.
I just wasn't getting thembecause the job just wasn't for
me.
That's why Adventure Nanniesmade me feel safer.
It wasn't a no because of me.
It might be a no because of myCV and I just wasn't afraid for
that family Down to my gender ordown to my race, where some
(14:26):
agencies have made it an issueof race or gender.
They haven't seen the issue,but I saw the issue an issue of
race or gender.
Then.
They haven't seen the issue,but I felt the issue.
Adventure Nannies and my manand Me by James from James who
you've met through agencies thathave really supported me on
this journey as a male nanny andobviously pushed for parents to
choose, to ask men, becausewe're still not chosen.
(14:46):
But it also put me in the spaceof nobody chooses you, you
choose yourself.
But it also put me in the spaceof nobody chooses you choose
yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Yes, I love that you choose yourself.
Oh, that is so beautiful.
We love when we get nannyapplications.
We love to have you on ourrosters and families have their
own hiring decisions, but wealways encourage families to
hire based on the resume.
Exactly like you said based onthe resume.
I am curious we at adventurenannies do not use the term
(15:14):
nanny.
I know that's a term that getsfloated around.
Some nanny is not a genderedterm, so we don't.
There's no need to have aseparate term and we very much
would never market specificallyno mannies or only mannies.
You know nannies important, soI was curious what you're
feeling if you do use the term,how you feel about it.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
It's funny I was told like little rumors that like as
an American people mightbelieve that all English people
drink tea.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
We throw it all in the harbor, so we got to keep it
.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
There's been a rumor in the UK that in America the
term mayonnaise is illegal.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
No.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Okay, it is not.
Yeah, been a rumor in the UKthat in America the term nanny
is illegal.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
no, okay, yeah no, not illegal at all.
Honestly, there's very littleregulation actually around the
nanny industry at all.
The UK has much more than theUS does, for sure.
Yeah, that is so interesting.
No, not illegal.
But at least at AdventureNannies we do not use the term
because male nannies are nannies.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
My counter argument is or the individuals don't
believe they have a gender.
Would you call them when theybecome a nanny?
Would you gender-specific thoseindividuals into saying you've
got to call yourself this orcall yourself that, when they
don't refer to themselves as amale or female or they're
non-binary, they still give agreat level of childcare.
But it's also showed me thelack of representation for
(16:36):
transgenders and non-binariesand LGBTQ community as well, how
much they're not seen and heardin this space and alongside the
fact that we have a lack of menin the conversation and our men
in childcare isn't spoken onconsistently enough.
No, I don't have an issue withwhat I'm called, but I do
dislike it when I say I'm ananny and people correct me
(16:57):
saying I'm a nanny.
I'm not fussed.
I've also been a nanny for solong way before the gender
specifics came in.
I was getting booked to dochildcare Way before it become a
trait of what's your gender.
Yeah, it's funny becausesometimes the children correct
me, but that's because thechildren in society will
construct what isn't?
And then they'll be like I had achild get upset and cry in a
(17:19):
park where my kids are playingwith this child they just met.
I introduced myself to the kidsto say, hi, I'm Josh's son, the
kid's nanny.
You know, I had myself lettingyou be a back and forth with
like a 10 year old because I'm10.
(17:39):
While she was so steadfast andso strongly believed that I
could not be a nanny, she criedand her dad was so triggered by
her being upset I don't think heknew how to show up for her in
that conversation.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
They just stalled off and went home because I'm sure
he didn't want to make you feellike and he did, of course
didn't know that and then thatalso seen some of the
conversation and he's trying tohave his daughter not say, to
say anymore what they've left inthem.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
My child, my kids, you know, ask me questions
around.
What led that?
Why was she upset, and why dopeople feel men can't look after
us just like them about thefact that dad looks after them
and I'm a man that's like theirdad, but I'm not their dad?
Speaker 2 (18:13):
sometimes the hardest part with those little ones is
not, you know, kind ofexplaining why you do things
differently without puttingthose ideas in their head.
So you speak.
You know a lot of challengingold systems in a practical sense
.
How can you know love?
How you know like, how doeslove dismantle those systems?
We've spoken a lot about likebeing a man in the industry and
(18:36):
how you are leading that way andI love how much you are you
know in terms of dismantlingsystems in general, especially
through the kids.
How do we do that and what arethe new norms that you see?
You know afterwards, what isyour ideal of like, what those
that 10 year old child sees you?
Speaker 3 (18:53):
because my new answer to that is decolonizing love.
We do that.
I've realized how much a lot ofus are comfortable with a
social construct that benefit usand that's the challenge.
And it's very hard to tellsomeone that you know what that
isn't the best way to do it,when what they've been doing for
how many years has worked forthem and they've got a house,
they've got money, they've got ajob it's benefited them so much
(19:14):
.
It's like the wholeconversation about gender roles,
yeah, and gender roles withinthe realm of dating and
relationships is where itbenefits the people that believe
there should be gender roles.
But at the same instancethere's misogynism, there's
control and there's lessadvocacy and there's misogynism,
there's control and there'sless advocacy and there's less
consent.
But because in that space theystill feel safe and seen and
(19:37):
heard, the misogynism for themis just not misogynism for them
to be okay with until it isn't.
And when I say decolonizing loveis breaking away from societal
constructs and societal norms ofwhat we see and view love to be
within adult relationships.
And then when we look at thatand break down some adult
(19:57):
relationships and take away themisogynism, the toxicity, the
lack of men that aren'tconsistent and safe men all over
the world, because the issue ofunsafe men all over the world
is a fact.
That's when the conversation ofhow do we support our kids in
doing this, in doing, and howthat looks for me, is having
(20:18):
more conversations about the menthat the right thing create,
the right choices, areemotionally available,
emotionally present, mostlyconsistent, soft, gentle.
Because if you look online, theconversations around the men
that don't do everything, it'sconversations that are going
viral and we're liking them,we're showing, and no one's
conversations around the menthat don't do everything.
It's conversations that aregoing viral and we're liking and
we're sharing, and no one'stalking about the men that do.
This isn't about applauding menfor doing their minimum and
(20:40):
doing what they should do, buthaving conversations on the
positives that men do, thepositive men that are out there
doing this stuff, not to shedlight on them, to make them any
bigger than they are, but tocounter the conversation that's
completely opposing againstthese men Thinking thrive how
(21:00):
they see online, in the sphereof online mail I do mail, I hate
that term, it's reflective.
Coming back to it now is there'snot many dads that I have met
that haven't agreed with me whenI said fatherhood, be showing
up as a parent doing the parentstuff, having a tea time in the
garden with your toddlers whocan see your toddlers about
(21:22):
changing nappies, because everytime you go changing nappy they
run away because they don't wantto be changed.
They're busy.
Supporting children's emotionsisn't specific to you as a
father.
The parents also have tounderstand.
There's parents that don'treceive the title of mum or dad
due to choices that he I thinkit's he she or they they would
(21:44):
refer to.
There's conversations that alsoneed to be inclusive.
All versions of humans in thespace of so when I am talking to
fathers and I ask them, how hasmasculinity been changed for
you by fatherhood?
And they said they never knewthey could be so emotionally
available because they was.
But as a parent, there'sanother ounce of emotion that
(22:07):
comes with being a parent.
You have to dig deeper and pullthrough, and there's also
parents that are doing thisalone and doing this by
themselves.
My dad was just the one otheralone in the house, with two,
three, four kids, and that's whya lot of it now for me on
Instagram called Raising Me andMine.
(22:27):
Oh, my goodness, rais, raisingme and mine.
So, raising me and mine.
I love that.
They spoke today about aconversation where parents pitch
it.
The mums within their groupspitch in.
How is Cardinal going for them?
I'm here to support everyone,if I can, because I do childcare
how I support.
But I've said all I can say isdo all with grace, take your
(22:48):
time.
Grace is a luxury we all get tohave at times.
For those parents that aredoing it alone, what's grace?
If I don't do it, who's doingit?
Yeah, who's giving them grace?
When I come into work, I'velearned, I know, I tried to know
all the parents how they are,because majority of parents have
(23:09):
lost it, whether it's mum anddad or one parent in the house.
20 parents have had thesleepiest night with their kids
all over the world Me walking infresh haircut, colorful jumper,
feeling top of the world,feeling great, all this great
energy, and they're just tiredof drinking coffee waiting to
(23:30):
get an asker to work.
I just thought, hi guys loveyou, rather than to trigger a
question of how are you?
Because I've also realized howtricky that question is, because
sometimes, as a parent,regardless of your financial
space in life, you don't knowhow you want time to sit down
and think about how you want inthe middle what you just said
about the way you walk in andjust like, hey guys, I'm here.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
I can't imagine, as a parent who does not have their
own nanny, the relief and, likethe, that is the work of nannies
that I believe is so beautifuland so impactful, not only for
the children but the parents.
What you just said about whatyou do for the parents and
coming in and just being thereand being able to let them step
(24:09):
away and give, you're givingthem grace.
You're giving them the space tobe able to cultivate that grace
that they need to have fortheir kids when they come back.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
At the end of the day and, like you said, not
everybody has that so beautiful,the way that you do that for
the families, that you canimpact, yes, and spread that
love and also it's learned,because I've got a lot of
friends that are mums, that havegot godchildren, who are
amazing mums, and I've knownthem over the years and just
being in the space also learnedhow triggering the thought of a
(24:39):
mother and the years for mumsthat have been constantly let
down by men.
Because, like I said, parentingputs you in spaces where you
have to face things, where youmight go to a baby group and
you've got a bunch of mums inthere that have all stay-at-home
mums, that amazing buggy, everyyoung one to take, or two of
them like buggy carry yark, solululemon and just looking on
(25:04):
top of the world with twins.
I know how triggering that'd beand know how much mums don't go
to baby groups because of this.
So it's made me be very carefulof what language I use when
talking to parents and languageI use in this space, because one
you never know what someone'sgoing through in regards to
whether they're early or notWithin this parenting space.
Sadly, the world isn't made tosupport parents, to be parents.
(25:25):
The world's set in a way thatparents have to go out and
thrive outside of the householdbefore they can thrive inside
the household, and so when Icome in.
I'm very mindful of when I comein and the belief I give parents
, let alone.
They often ask me like how doyou do it, joss?
How are you so positive?
How do you not get so triggered, how do you not get so annoyed
(25:48):
when our children say oi to yourather than say your name, and
the mum and dad in the firstplace say something I've heard
you.
I just respond differently to.
That Works for us because theparents don't feel the way to
respond.
How they respond and how Irespond doesn't no longer
trigger them to make the fuckingathlete's breakfast as just.
But the parents have now giventhemselves a more graceful
(26:09):
understanding because of theapproach I had with their
children.
Even this scenario recently atwork, where a little one wanted
to go and do something, he saidyou can't do it anymore.
The transitioning changehappened quite rapidly.
So I understand theirgrievances, but it was kind of a
.
It was a no and what's happenedis her and dad are in the
kitchen and it's like a standoffbecause she's trying to escape
(26:30):
the house.
The dad, you have a.
See yourself as a parent gofrom calm to calmer.
Solarius is becoming more andmore triggering and I think when
, as parents, you often rememberhow you was raised and how you
was approached in this Solarius,but it's difficult to unlearn
what you've been told to do orhow you've been raised yourself.
(26:51):
So it is that you were shaking,but in the midst of your
shaking you become more calm.
And it wasn't a, it wasn't thatanger that brings out a
calmness and brings out asilence.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Scary anger.
No, it was a calmness that he'sworking.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
He's working through this.
You won't understand whereshe's come from.
I've also come into support butI don't want to overstep,
because when you're halfwaythrough de-escalating something,
as an adult I don't want tostep in and undo the work you've
just put in, but I want to bethere as a supportive voice
because we are a team, one team,one dream, and we both work.
(27:25):
We both are the same responsesto her become and we both had
the same responses to herbecoming softer.
Then I said to her but I fullyunderstand how upset you are
because I know how much youwanted to go through it.
I fully understand we love it.
It's your routine in your head.
It's like this is what I'mdoing, this is why I've got this
, but please, we've said no fora reason that pertains to you
(27:46):
being safe and you being welland you being happy a long time,
rather than you going and itnot working the way it should go
.
So if you have a shower,remember what I said about
having showers.
Sometimes showers can wash awayhow you feel.
So that came in the shower.
We were just like she had it inher to resolve and stuff, and
then second shower I've got togo home.
(28:08):
The granddad was there.
Granddad was so triggered heleft the house.
We got home, dad walked backdownstairs to get a drink or
whatever.
He tapped me on the shoulderand said you're not, because we
both knew how hard that was.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yeah, but then also saw how you both showed up the
way that she needed you to.
Yes.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
And I think, lastly, I also know how much men in this
space don't want to be theconstant disciplinarians or the
ogres, so to speak, where peopleoften from the time of
childhood, be like I needchildcare, I need some of my
kids to listen to your wholelife.
I work with loving gentlenessand these children who thrive
around it.
It's a longer process but itbenefits them long term because
(28:51):
I don't have to shout for mychildren to listen to me.
They don't listen to me, but wecan read it back in eventually
and we have a conversation aboutit.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Yeah, Because we should all have the space to be
able to have our feelings.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
I I love men in general and I want the best for
us all over the world, but Ialso know how much as men we let
down, we let down society.
So I don't want to be the firstman to break any of these young
girls strong willingness ortrust because sadly that is to
come.
There's men in her life thatshe might meet outside the house
that might disappoint her and Ialso want to support my little
girls in knowing how to dealwith disappointment when it
(29:29):
comes to men and knowing thatthere are, even if one, once
they do come upon thatdisappointment that there is
another, that is not the onlything that exists.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
There is good men, there is gentle.
I love that I, as you weretelling that story, I was
curious do you have any tangibletips for, like, how you show up
?
You know you talked aboutshowing up.
Is there anything that you doas like a ritual or as like
routine that nannies can takeaway and do themselves to help
(30:02):
them come into a space every dayand work with that calm and
love-led approach?
Is there anything like that youdo that you could pass along as
a tip?
Speaker 3 (30:13):
one thing I do daily on my spotify.
I've got a playlist on spotifycalled mornings of gratitude, so
I have a playlist of music forme that's just positive.
Great vibes helps me start myday.
And if I don't show upthroughout the day and I have a
somewhat bad day, my morningwhen work, I show up for myself
(30:37):
and I play my playlist and Imake my bed, Cause they're
little little steps.
They look on my, they lookwhere I get paid to show up for
people my job so and I have toshow up for people irregardless
of anything else.
I see friends and family.
I have a lot of space and timefor myself.
I've been DJing for years.
Djing is a hobby but also a job, but it's something that fills
(30:57):
up my cup and it's somethingthat's totally, completely
different from childcare.
Yes, I've got a sub stackcalled Just Choose Love.
I have a lot of outlets andspace, but I've got a sub stack
called Just Choose Love.
I have a lot of outlets of space, but the biggest for me is
stillness and doing nothing.
I'm doing nothing and I need tocome down because we're
busybodies, Great at taking careof people.
(31:18):
I'm an amazing childcare workerbecause I take care of my own
child and it's difficult butit's imperative because I can't
go and give the level of care Ineed to give if I can't give the
level of care I need to givemyself.
That's why the little gifts Iget from my family for Christmas
and my birthday because theyrealise I'm so big on self-care
and they get me vouchers for thelocal wellbeing shop
(31:42):
Aftershaves, facial creams, bathsalts for our wellbeing We've
also realised how imperative itis to us as well.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Because we need it.
Mum goes soundbathing.
She books me a sound bathsession.
Lastly is sometimes askyourself your why your calling
might have no longer be yourcalling, which is fine.
You might have fallen off withit, and all good things, all
things come to an end to startbetter beginnings.
I don't be afraid to take sometime out and say I don't want to
do this anymore.
(32:11):
And also something that Istruggled to find.
But I find a village withinthis educational nanny world
where I've got superb nannyfriends and they're grateful.
It's probably.
I know how hard it's been forme to have made friends in this
space the day.
So I've got friends, butfriends that I can talk to daily
, that I can work with.
(32:32):
I've got the religion too, butI would like a bigger village,
but I'm grateful for the villageI have in, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
I think that's the question Absolutely.
I love this stillness.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
We're going to have to get that link to the playlist
and we'll add it to the shownotes for the episode.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
So anybody listening to the replay can go find it.
Since I'll point your storiesbecause that's a great I love
and you're a dj, so I'm sure theplaylist is just incredible.
I'm super excited to give it alisten.
Let me look at we do have acouple questions.
So we've got about 15 minutesleft the question and, kimberly,
I'm going to ask you to clarifyoh, and she's gone, darn it.
(33:07):
Just to ask if we could put thename of the group, and I missed
it when it came through, so Idon't know what group, what we
were talking about when she saidthat.
I think it was raising me andmine.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Okay, raising the Instagram page because it's
called raising me and mine okayand I will get all of these
links.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I will get all the links from the pages that we
talked about anything Jossmentioned here, and I will put
it in the show notes to makesure that everybody can find
those pages that you suggested.
So I would love and you've toldsome amazing stories today, but
in your 18 years of experienceis there one story in your
(33:45):
childcare that really juststands out as a really impactful
moment or someplace that youknow really exemplified the
love-led approach and what youdo?
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Recently it was Father's Day and I think last
year it happened.
I mentioned to all the dadsHappy Father's Day, my friends
and dads, all the dads I workwith with.
And then my dad last year toldme I could promise that here,
because my dad knows what I do,that's what I do.
But you don't sometimes realizethat parents might really see
the value what you're doing andmy dad's saying I know you're
(34:19):
adapting these kids just andit's beautiful, because my dad
was also supportive of mystepdad in my life as well.
So it goes without saying.
But the biggest was this year.
I've seen the kitchen at work,cooking as we do because we're
chefs, we're all chefs andyou're the one doing some work
on the table, youngest, becauseI can't be doing, I'm just
making a picture for mummy,because I miss mummy.
It's mummy time right now.
I said okay, she comes to showme.
(34:40):
After.
I said I look what I did.
What does that mean?
It's a father's day again card.
I was pretending because you'renot daddy, but you're like
daddy.
And I was like it's daddy daynumber two for you, because
you're not daddy but you're aman and you look after us and
you said our words becauseyou're so soft.
I talk to my kids aboutsoftness, that I'm soft with
them, and even sometimes shesaid to me, josh, you're not
being soft, that's ugly grumpy.
(35:01):
I said, okay, I'll work on that.
But knowing that she sees me asanother man in her life, with
her dad and her granddad, andvalued you enough to write me a
card that no one's asked her togive, no one's asked her to do
this, and dad was like superover the moon, beautiful Mum
wanted to cry.
I nearly cried and that was.
(35:22):
I think that's it because I alsowant men, want these children
to be able to have men in theirlives that are solid, that are
consistent, that are safe spaces, and that's what I've become
for the village of children.
So what Jiva's done, I had tobe in this today.
I've done enough.
And I think also with theselittle children, also with these
(35:46):
little children, to see someonethat looks like me and have the
body they have for me is evenmore imperative, because staying
attached, that it's in themedia all over the world isn't
aren't always the best.
So I've now abolished that,because whenever we see my
friends that look like me, thegirls say hi quick and be like
that was your friend that we sawthe other day and be chilling
with my friends and play, and sothey should be.
But sometimes, if childrenaren't spread to certain
(36:07):
cultures, they're going to benot Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
That's incredible.
So you've talked a lot aboutyour approach and how the
love-led approach impacts thechildren, but it also impacts
the parents that you work with,and I think that your journey is
so incredible and has expandedwhat's next?
Because clearly your impact isgoing farther than just the
children and the families youwork with.
(36:30):
We love having you herespeaking, sharing with other
nannies.
There's got to be.
Where is the love-led approachgoing?
How are you going to share itwith the world?
Because we, you know it needsto be out here and I want to
know what's next.
You know that.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
I'm amazing with Frederica and for me, what's
next is I've been approached byan amazing publishing house.
When I told the children I'mwriting a book, they was like
who are you with?
I said name.
They're like who?
They meant Harry Potter.
I've got a Harry Potter bookout.
So the practice that I'vecreated to support educators and
(37:04):
families to raise childrenbasically is based on my ethos
of love and love, safety andunderstanding.
As a performer, I also what Ialso did was the proposal that
I've got me in the press editedit, but it keeps to use.
I think we're also creatingself-published authors because
we can get them to publish theirbooks and their amazing books.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Absolutely.
That's how we published ourbooks, so if anybody else wants
to get their story out, I am soexcited to get this book.
Make sure you share it with us.
If you're listening to thisepisode years down the line,
we'll add Joss's book in hereonce it's published.
This philosophy and, like Isaid, you're doing a great work
(37:45):
within the community that you'rein, but I am so excited that
you know Welcome Across the Pond, getting to share it with our
audience, to continue to sharethis amazing message with the
world.
So I'm so excited.
If we have any other questions,go ahead and drop them in, but
I don't see any in the chat.
So is there anything lastminute that you want to leave
(38:06):
the audience with before we wrapit up?
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Do your best to practice being present for
yourself.
The more present you are foryourself, the more present you
can be for the edge of that ageor be a family, friends or work.
And there's also a song I'mgoing to find.
It's called Worth Ethic A ladycalled Toni and it's worth ethic
.
It talks about manifesting yourworth and knowing your worth
(38:31):
and acting within your worth.
And that's my new Alarm Clocksong.
It's an amazing song, worthethic Beautiful.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Thank you so much.
We will get all of the links ofeverything.
I'll poke you and get all theplaylists and all of the songs
and all of the amazing pagesthat you shared and we will
share all of your information.
Thank you for being here,everybody please make sure you
go follow jossie care and what'syour handle name again share
your handle for everybody.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
We're back instagram.
Jossie care chose love becauselove is a twist and and that's
it.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Amazing.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
Have a great day.
Bye.
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