#28 -The Art of Coexisting: Tips for Happy Multi-Generational Living

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Navigating multi-generational living can be both challenging and rewarding. With rising costs and aging loved ones, families are increasingly choosing to share their homes. This episode dives into practical strategies for making this arrangement thrive.

• Importance of open conversations for establishing comfort and respect 
• Defining household responsibilities to prevent burnout 
• Respecting personal space and boundaries for individual well-being 
• Clarity in financial responsibilities and expectations 
• Creating connections without enforcing togetherness 
• Planning for evolving caregiving needs and responsibilities 
• Emphasizing flexibility to adapt to changing circumstances 
• Need for self-care among caregivers 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi there and welcome back to the Aging in Place
Directory podcast, where we talkabout everything that helps
older adults live safely,comfortably and happily in the
place they call home.
I'm Robin Schultz, your host,and today we're diving into a
topic that's near and dear tomany of us how to make
multi-generational living work.

(00:23):
Maybe your aging parents havemoved in with you, or perhaps
you've moved in with them tohelp out.
Maybe your aging adult kids areback home, or you've blended
generations in other ways.
Whatever the setup, havingmultiple generations under one
roof can be wonderful, but let'sbe honest, it can also be
challenging.

(00:43):
So today I'm sharing practicalstrategies to keep the peace,
reduce the stress and create ahome where everyone feels valued
and respected.
Whether you're already livingin this setup or considering it,
these tips will help make it apositive experience for everyone
.
Before we talk about thestrategies, let's talk about why

(01:07):
so many families are choosingto live together.
It's no secret that life hasgotten more expensive.
Housing, health care, dailyliving costs all of them are
rising.
Many older adults are on afixed income and adult children
are dealing with their ownfinancial challenges, so pooling

(01:32):
resources just makes sense.
And then there's caregiving.
Many families move in togetherbecause an aging loved one needs
help.
Maybe it's mobility challenges,memory issues or just a desire
for companionship.
Living together can also bringa lot of joy Grandkids spending
time with grandparents, sharingfamily traditions and feeling
that deep sense of connection.
But it also comes withadjustments.

(01:53):
You're bringing togetherdifferent lifestyles, habits and
expectations and if you don'thave a plan, conflicts can arise
.
So let's talk about how to setup your home and your
relationships for success.
Tip number one start with openconversations.
The number one rule forharmonious living is talk about

(02:17):
everything up front Beforemoving in together or, if you're
already there and feelingtension, set aside time for a
family meeting.
This isn't just about logistics.
It's about making sure everyonefeels heard.
Ask questions like what doeseveryone need to feel
comfortable in the home?
What worries do we have aboutliving together?

(02:40):
How can we respect each other'sspace and routines?
How can we respect each other'sspace and routines?
It's easy to assume thateveryone's on the same page, but
trust me, what seems obvious toyou might not be obvious to
someone else.
Tip number two is definehousehold responsibilities.
Living together means sharingresponsibilities, but if you

(03:02):
don't clearly define them,things can get messy very fast.
Some questions to ask who'scooking and when?
How do we split cleaning duties?
Who's in charge of homemaintenance and errands?
It helps to make a looseschedule or even a written
agreement, just something toprevent one person from feeling

(03:23):
like they're doing all the work.
And here's a little tip Ifyou're caring for an older
parent, don't let caregivingfall entirely on one person.
Even if you're the primarycaregiver, other family members
can help in different ways, likehandling finances, grocery
shopping or just giving you abreak.
Tip number three is respectpersonal space and boundaries.

(03:47):
Even in the closest families,everyone needs their own space.
If possible, give each person adesignated area where they can
have privacy, even if it's justa favorite chair, a small corner
for reading or a separate roomif space allows, and respect
each other's routines.
Maybe Grandpa likes to wake upat 5am and watch the news at

(04:10):
full volume, but your teenageson sleeps until noon.
Setting simple house rules likequiet hours can make a huge
difference.
Another one knocking beforeentering someone's space, and
this applies to both kids andadults.
Tip number four handle financesclearly and fairly.

(04:32):
Money can be a huge stressor inany living situation, so it's
best to get clear on who paysfor what up front Consider?
Will the older parentcontribute to rent or groceries?
How are utilities being split?
If caregiving costs arise, howwill they be handled?
Even if your loved one can'tcontribute financially, they

(04:54):
might help in other ways, likewith child care or cooking or
offering wisdom and support.
The key is fairness, makingsure that no one feels taken
advantage of.
Tip number five keep generationsconnected without forcing it.
One of the best things aboutmulti-generational living is the

(05:16):
opportunity to bond, encourageshared meals, movie nights or
family outings.
Kids can teach grandparentsabout technology and
grandparents can pass downstories and traditions.
But don't force togetherness.
Everyone needs time apart, solet relationships develop
naturally.
Everyone needs time apart, solet relationships develop

(05:37):
naturally.
Tip number six is to plan forcaregiving needs.
If one family member requirescare, especially an aging parent
, it's important to have a plan.
What level of care is needednow?
What happens if those needschange?
How will the responsibility beshared?
What happens if those needschange?

(05:58):
How will the responsibility beshared?
Having these conversationsbefore a crisis happens can
prevent a lot of stress later.
Tip number seven is be flexibleand willing to adjust.
No matter how well you plan,things will change.
People's needs shift, routinesevolve and unexpected situations

(06:19):
come up.
The key to keeping thingsrunning smoothly is staying
flexible and being willing toadjust as needed If tension
starts building.
Go back to open communication.
Check in with each other, seewhat's working.
Tweak things as needed.
Tip number eight is don't forgetself-care.
If you're the one holdingeverything together you're

(06:41):
caring for an aging parent,managing the household and
juggling work and family don'tforget to take care of yourself
as well.
Make time for things liketaking a break outside the house
, working on a hobby you love orseeing friends who will lift
you up.
You can't pour from an emptycup, and when you're in a good

(07:03):
place, you'll be better able tohandle family life with patience
and grace.
All righty friends.
That's it for today's episode.
Living with multiplegenerations can be a beautiful
experience, but it works bestwhen there's respect,
communication and a little bitof planning.
If you found this episodehelpful, share it with a friend

(07:25):
who might also need it.
Don't forget to subscribe toour podcast so you never miss an
episode.
Thanks for spending time withme today.
Until the next time, take careand stay well Bye.